God, I hate this. I hate the cringe rhyming. The incredible painful chorus and I extremely dislike the manner Kotipelto delivers them.

Also, that Black Sabbath was trolling, right?

I thought it was trolling too. Should be anyway. I don't even find them goofy, just poetic and not necessarily specific(!).

I see your Stratovarius and raise you 1 Eldritch:

Not in the least. Goofy really is the word for it. And for me, his delivery only makes it worse. He sounds so earnest and like he's not aware of how ridiculous he sounds. Makes me shudder.

Dio's lyrics only work because he sounds like he means it... dumb self-aware irony would make it so bad...

Dio's lyrics do not belong in this thread. Of all the tripe that's come out of metal and you're gonna name Dio?? Hater doesn't even begin to describe you. Y'all are something else!



Damn, I didn't know about his intense fear and loathing for Fall Out Boy lol

This one speaks for itself:

The song is pretty good but Banshee's Full Circle has this gem.

I took the blame, got on the plane
And flew as far away as Spain
No one can stop me, don't bother to try
I'm winning

Putting non-native english speakers lyrics is cheating.

And the lyrics are really dumb, it totally fits the thread. The worst thing is you can feel they were like "Oh god, those lyrics are so deep and strong, we talk about true problems, we may change the world with this".



I don't think it belongs here, the lyrics sound pretty poetic and meaningful to me, but I may be wrong.

I hate the shit economy
It might as well be sodomy

"Masturbate to kill myself"

Oh, also:

"You thought it was over / it's not over / I came back / I brought my axe"

Incredible lines from Iced Earth's My Own Savior

"Life's a bitch, life's a whore,
nothing less, nothing more."

"Joey was right, this is the final countdown"
- In Flames, The Great Deceiver

Well, they're bad either way, but I think I would be more accepting of them if it was someone like King Diamond singing them. Someone that played up the ridiculousness instead of acting like what's being said really is deep and meaningful. As it is, he reminds me of some overly self-serious teenage poet wannabe.

I can't believe so many of you disagree. Someone back me up here! This thread has multiple examples of Maiden's lyrics already, and no one has felt the need to defend them, even though Maiden's lyrics were never half as bad as Dio's. Deja Vu isn't nearly as bad as Voodoo.

Considering that the author wrote this lyric when he was a teenager, I think it is quite accurate.

I agree with this.




Maiden is my favorite band but sorry, a lot of their lyrics are really cringe, and "Déjà-vu" is not the worst... Just read this, "Heaven and Hell" sounds like a masterpiece of poetry compared to it:

"Watching horror films the night before
Debating witches and folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind"

This is at Stratovarius level... And there are even more stupid of them in Maiden's large discography.

peter steele wrote a lot of dumb shit

(Verse 1)
Welcome, weary traveler, to our domain,
Where hospitality and metal intertwine,
In this realm of warmth, where friendships are gained,
A place where all metalheads can truly shine.

(Pre-Chorus)
The riffs are heavy, the melodies so grand,
But our hearts are open, we extend our hand,
Raise your horns, let's unite and stand,
In this hospitable metal wonderland.

(Chorus)
Come, join our gathering, a metal family,
Where kindness reigns with a brutal harmony,
In this hospitable metal symphony,
We'll raise our voices in unison, in perfect unity.

(Verse 2)
Within these walls, acceptance is our creed,
No judgment, no barriers, just love and respect,
Mosh pits and headbanging, fulfilling our need,
To forge connections, our spirits intersect.

(Bridge)
The riffage roars, the drums thunderous and tight,
But compassion flows, breaking chains of the night,
From the stage to the crowd, a bond takes flight,
In this hospitable metal realm, a beacon of light.

(Guitar Solo)

(Chorus)
Come, join our gathering, a metal family,
Where kindness reigns with a brutal harmony,
In this hospitable metal symphony,
We'll raise our voices in unison, in perfect unity.

(Verse 3)
We raise our horns, a toast to camaraderie,
In this metal sanctuary, a sanctuary for all,
A refuge from the world's hostility,
Where open arms catch those who may fall.

(Outro)
In this hospitable metal song, our anthem so true,
We celebrate the metal spirit, embracing you,
With warmth and passion, we'll carry on through,
Hospitable metal, forever in our hearts we'll pursue.

Damn, has no one mentioned this Megadeth gem so far? How can this be?

Megadeth – Burn!



Seriously, though. How do you write such horseshit when you're past 50?

My Dying Bride had an interesting pen game in the latter half of the 90s as well. I presume Aaron was trying to sound tough as nails, but the execution arguably wasn't as successful as it could've been.

My Dying Bride – Heroin Chic

Who is that by again? I can't place it right now...
Also the one about "I hate the world economy, it might as well be sodomy?" I know both of these but I'm doing my head in trying to remember the bands...

EDIT: Ok second one is Slayer.

For every mention of Black Sabbath and My Dying Bride in this thread, God kills a puppy... Dumb is not the same as "I don't like"! Heaven and Hell lyrics are not dumb for god's sake!! Heroin chick lyrics dumb, really??? In a world where "raped by elephants" lyrics exists, Ronnie James Dio and Aaron Stainthorpe are fucking William Faulkner.

Exactly!
What's next? Queensrÿche lyrics are dumb because I don't agree with them?

sodom - blasphemer (off in the sign of evil)

I do too, but it is still a stupid line to a certain extent.

Absolutely!

I love, in early Blind Guardian albums, when Hansi sings about "reaching level 99" (I'm Alive) , or being "the narrator" (Somewhere Far Beyond), it just fits them perfectly, and resonates a lot with listeners who are into RPG, despite the obvious dumbness.

This may sound paradoxical, but it takes cleverness to write lyrics that is "dumb but cool". I love a lot of songs with dumb lyrics.

"Not cool dumb" would be something like hellyeah the band.

Exactly!
What's next? Queensrÿche lyrics are dumb because I don't agree with them?[/quote

No queensryche lyrics are generally dumb because they're just so obvious about the way they make social commentary, even on operation mindcrime and empire I can see their point coming from a mile away

Does that make me sing along any less? Absolutely fucking not!! Who cares about being smart when you're telling the truth?

Surprised you neglected to mention "Five Minutes Alone" with that line about "YOU USE COMPLEXION OF MY SKIN... FOR COUNTER-RACIST TOOL". Which is honestly one of the most confusing lines in their discography bc there's like no context to it, at least last time I googled the situation that inspired the song. It just seems like he's butthurt over being called white (presumably by the father?).

It's a crime to mention Peter Steele's dumb lyrics and not mention "I Like Goils", "Kill All the White People", or the goldmine of dumb lyrics in Carnivore.

I Like Goils:


Kill All the White People:


Carnivore - Carnivore:


Jesus Hitler:


Also, not really "dumb" so much as an obvious cope but "We Hate Everyone" is literally just Peter coping with getting criticism he wouldn't have gotten if he wasn't so fucking stupid. He probably never thought of himself as bigoted but he had to have known he was a massive fucking edgelord.

Dio was a fantastic singer. But his lyrics were not good at all. The only thing worse was his stage banter.

I kinda hate bad Maiden lyrics even more, those explainary stories or bookreports from middle school are so so lazy.

Edguy's sex/dick songs are all pretty cringey. The sad part is, some of their best music, imo, is in those songs (Lavatory Love Machine, Rise Of The Morning Glory, Wings Of a Dream). I've always preferred their more serious songs like Mysteria, Out Of Control, Nailed To The Wheel.

Septycal Gorge - "Redneck Slanderous Mutation"

"Free ADSL connections
80% of people voting for welfare
Cell phones abuse
The never ending war between the opposites
Rave parties to re-wake dead and savage instincts
Women in career addicted to anti-depressive and contraceptive pills

2001: A Space Odyssey
Laic habits after centuries of religion
Plasma TV – flat screen

A free t-shirt if you adopt a kind in the 3rd world
A demo CD, no career, no practices, and a contract with a major
Fashion events: Paris, Milan, New York are one

Esoteric millionaires in love with the devil
Smiling crowds united in God
The death of political parties
The resource of "I don't care"
Blowjobs under presidential desks
Rebirth of a billion people misunknown for centuries

Yesterday the darts – today the microwave
Chaplin's "Modern Times": a useful and obsolete prophecy

Be quiet and dig in the mud

Selling a different image, day by day
Apathetic faces revealed – schizophrenic moods
Lustful plastic uselessness dreaming limbo
It's your time: bigger they are, stronger they'll kick – fail
Muddy hairdos, delivered bellies, last minutes muscles
Crazy Alice in Wonderland

A new step – a new fake victory
Eye for an eye still exists – walking with a knife: a status symbol
Foolish pretext to defend a non-existent honour
The local crappy metal heroes bringing more people than Slayer
The local indecent pub crowdier than WOA"

I have no idea what these lyrics are about but they seem to be about something.

People forget how good some of those riffs were. "Lavatory Love Machine" and "Rise of the Morning Glory" are legit kick ass tunes. Very stupid lyrics though.

The lyrics of 'Wings of a Dream' are about sex?

I missed quite a few, I also didn't want to make my post even longer.

Some of the worst I've read in my entire life are by German underground thrashers Darkness.

"Dawn (DAWN)
Dawn (DAWN)

No one ... knows ... regulation
It's a crime ... against ... against all nations
Statesmen ... know your ... enemy
Religion ... Fascism ... this world is using me

Close your eyes
And listen to me
Open your ears
and you will see

Spoken ... words ... are overrated
Imbalance ... the world ... is devastated
Dead town ... Showdown ... world will be broken
The box ... of Pandora ... is already open

Close your eyes
And listen to me
Open your ears
and you will see
Close your "fuckin" eyes
And listen to me
Open your ears
and THEN YOU WILL SEE

There is no god, and human knowledge also is gone
Teaching stupid stuff with no help from none
Dawn of the dumb

No more ... rules ... no more concept
Only ... World ... World Wide Wastenet

Pathway ... to future ... no escape
False book ... retribution ... face to face

There is no god, and human knowledge also is gone
Teaching stupid stuff with no help from none
Dawn of the dumb

DAWN (DAWN)
DAWN (DAWN)

Dawn (DAWN) of the numb
(DAWN) of the dumb
Dawn (DAWN) of the numb
(DAWN) of the dumb

There is no god, and human knowledge also is gone
Teaching stupid stuff with no help from no one, no one
There is no god, and human knowledge also is gone
Teaching stupid stuff with no help from no one, no one

Dawn of the dumb"