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SladeCraven
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 1:51 pm
Posts: 477
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:29 pm 
 

As an adult, I've found it a bit of a challenge to find people outside of social media and the internet who I can share my love of extreme metal with. It was easier in high school when I had friends who were into the same styles of music I was, but now I typically attend concerts and discover music on my own. It's not that I need other people for me to enjoy the music, but there is definitely something about having a friend to say, "Holy shit, you have to check out this album. They're coming here next month, let's go" to that makes it feel more special. Do you tend to have the same experience, or are you fortunate in that you've found an in-person social circle to share your love of metal music with?
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mirons
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 11, 2004 12:59 pm
Posts: 206
Location: Latvia
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:53 pm 
 

Yes, most of them.

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 9555
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 2:04 pm 
 

My what?
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ThStealthP
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:16 pm
Posts: 320
Location: Dominican Republic
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 2:29 pm 
 

Mostly yes.

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MetalWebhead25
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2020 12:07 am
Posts: 6
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 2:53 pm 
 

No..

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Bingewolf
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:59 pm
Posts: 624
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 2:57 pm 
 

A lot are but some have moved on being "active" in the metal scene and listen to older metal for nostalgic purposes. A lot of my friends don't really keep up with new albums/bands and only go to shows for bands they liked years ago but I can't think of many who straight up moved on from liking metal, that one always seems odd to me. How do you just not like music you used to supposedly love?

And then I still have a group of friends who keep up with everything, go to shows and live the metal lifestyle...

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TimeDoesNotHeal
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:33 pm
Posts: 155
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 3:15 pm 
 

One of my really close friends is, but most of them aren't. It's fine though, because we've got other interests in common. I don't really define myself solely by the music I love, even though I wear a bunch of band shirts. I'd really be limiting myself if I was only looking for other metal fans to hang out with.

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megalowho
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2006 4:33 am
Posts: 540
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 3:19 pm 
 

SladeCraven wrote:
...there is definitely something about having a friend to say, "Holy shit, you have to check out this album. They're coming here next month, let's go" to that makes it feel more special.


There is that, but on balance, I prefer solitary listening. My reactions to music are just a little too personal and idiosyncratic, and it can spoil the experience to compare them to other people's. But I can be sensitive about that sort of thing a bizarre extent sometimes; like, I remember going to an Eyehategod show and just feeling bummed to notice what a drag it was for the venue staff to put up with. Haha.

Also, for the most part, I find it hard to have the same level of enthusiasm for new music that I had in my 'teens and 20s, so, one drawback to that is that when I do bump into someone who's raving about the latest thing, it's not like I doubt their sincerity or think less of them in any way, but I can't really work up much of a response (other than to wish I could be once again discovering Altars of Madness for the first time!).

Aging, I guess. :)

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Timeghoul
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:00 pm
Posts: 304
Location: Hello from the gutter
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 3:27 pm 
 

Actually I was just talking to my friends about heavy metal. I was telling them how my girlfriend is really into metal. They told me that she is imaginary. I guess the jokes on them, because they are too.
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SladeCraven
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 1:51 pm
Posts: 477
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 3:53 pm 
 

megalowho wrote:
SladeCraven wrote:
...there is definitely something about having a friend to say, "Holy shit, you have to check out this album. They're coming here next month, let's go" to that makes it feel more special.


There is that, but on balance, I prefer solitary listening. My reactions to music are just a little too personal and idiosyncratic, and it can spoil the experience to compare them to other people's. But I can be sensitive about that sort of thing a bizarre extent sometimes; like, I remember going to an Eyehategod show and just feeling bummed to notice what a drag it was for the venue staff to put up with. Haha.

Also, for the most part, I find it hard to have the same level of enthusiasm for new music that I had in my 'teens and 20s, so, one drawback to that is that when I do bump into someone who's raving about the latest thing, it's not like I doubt their sincerity or think less of them in any way, but I can't really work up much of a response (other than to wish I could be once again discovering Altars of Madness for the first time!).

Aging, I guess. :)

That's very true. I remember being around 14 and first getting into more extreme stuff my mind just being constantly blown by everything I heard. I remember watching the video for From the cradle to Enslave so many times and just thinking, "One day I will look this cool. One day I too will make this evil music, muahaha." I miss that level of enthusiasm, honestly. I was also and still am a pretty big nerd, so there's that.
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severzhavnost
Veteran

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2613
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 5:21 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
My what?


:lol: I came in here to post exactly this!
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Ace_Rimmer
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:30 am
Posts: 1173
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 5:28 pm 
 

To a degree, but most are superficial at best. Nobody I know will listen to anything very extreme.

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Flugeldufel
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 4:41 pm
Posts: 242
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 6:13 pm 
 

Nope, not at all. There are jokes about metal of course, and I have a sense of humor about it, but they don't really "get it". It's just a thing I enjoy on my own.

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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 6:32 pm 
 

My brother, and my best friend are just as crazy as me. It's actually the thread through the fabric of our friendship. A couple other friends like the big names (Metallica, Megadeth, Sabbath), but most of them, no.

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BodomSlayer
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:39 am
Posts: 53
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 8:02 pm 
 

No, not really. My fiance 'likes' metal but is more into country. My closest friends detest what I listen to and do not understand it. One of my best friends calls it "screaming death". Once you're comfortable and get passed the wall of sound there is a really beauty underneath all the extremities.

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 814
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 8:14 pm 
 

A few, but I remember once working in a supermarket for 6 hours on halloween wearing corpse-paint and not even one person having a clue what I was on about when I tried explaining it to them. In public for 6 hours! Finding metalheads in my town has proven quite a challenge.
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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2522
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:50 pm 
 

Not really, no. Way back when I was in my late teens/early 20s, I had a group of buddies who were fellow metalheads, but I gradually grew apart from them because, ironically, I found I had more in common with my non-metal fan friends than I did with my fellow metalheads. Part of that was a maturity thing; they were all into going out and doing stupid delinquent shit to cause trouble, whereas when I went out to have fun, I wanted to have a good time, but basically AVOID unnecessary trouble. And part of it was, just a different backgrounds kind of thing. I learned over time that musical taste is really only superficial. Some of my best buddies were die-hard Grateful Dead fans- and I found that music to be deadly boring, but I still had great times with those guys- so go figure.

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Unorthodox
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:08 pm
Posts: 1425
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:58 am 
 

Yeah, my friends like it, but I would be inclined to say I'm a bit more into it than them. There's other genres they are more interested in than I am, but metal has definitely been an obsession of mine since I was a little kid. My work friends hate the genre though.

I definitely had a pretty large metal circle in HS that I've broken off from since I graduated. I think I talked about it before on a different thread, but I definitely miss a few of those kids. Just never kept up, I don't use much social media to do so...
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BenjaminC81
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:17 pm
Posts: 130
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:45 am 
 

Maybe three friends of mine are sort of into metal. But one of them is exclusively into power metal (which i detest) so we rarely talk metal at all. The second one is more of a poser and always ends up talking about the same three bands forever and ever. He listened to metal for a while in his teens and he never made an effort to look further then Korn and Cavalera Conspiracy for some reason. Even more annoyingly is that he tags along whenever we go to concerts even though he doesn't know most bands. He's more of a "flavour of the month" type of metalhead and i avoid talking metal wit him whenever possible.

My third buddy was actually a full fledged metalhead before i became one. But since he had no one to share his passion with he basically lost interest while growing up and starting a family. When we hooked up i got him back into metal and he in turn introduced to some cool old school stuff. Since then we regurarly keep each other updated about new bands and visit concerts every few months. He's basically the only one who i would consider a full fledged metal fan.

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 9555
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:50 am 
 

Well yeah the thing is, I know people into metal, but people into metal pretty much never even remotely have tastes similar to mine. They tend to like stuff to headbang and air guitar to, most of all, and me, well, you generally don't find much common ground with metal fans if your last.fm top ten have Abruptum and Havohej in them.
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KrigareTjovane
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:06 am
Posts: 283
Location: Shadow Mountains
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:17 am 
 

Nope! My best friends are into rap and/or R&B and while I don't listen to that stuff at all, it really doesn't matter because music isn't something we rely on to bond.

I used to have metalhead friends and while it was nice to be able to share music with them, it ain't the end of the world not being able to.

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Crusher_of_Spirits
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 11:44 am
Posts: 17
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 8:57 am 
 

I have a friend that likes Scream Bloody Gore, and has started listening to metal, but the rest are interested in rap. If i want to talk about metal with people, I just go to these forums.
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Sedition and Pockets
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:29 am
Posts: 310
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:09 am 
 

I used to have a lot of friends that were heshers, but unfortunately, quite a few of them proved to be pretty toxic influences, and I had to drop many of them when I started deprogramming myself from the far right cult. Others simply weren't able to walk with me down this road I'm on when I came out and started transitioning. I mostly don't regret the losses, but there is one who I've had to cut out of my life and I grieve his absence. There was a time when nobody loved me, not even me, and he loved me without reservation or asking anything in return. I have no doubt that he would still love just as he always did, but he's still a nazi and I just can't have that in my life (and it would potentially expose me to other people who most certainly don't love me and would be literal threats to my safety). I wish it were otherwise, but it's definitely an, "It is what it is" situation.

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Dungeon_Vic
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:00 am
Posts: 895
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 9:23 am 
 

A lot (most?) of my friends are into metal but of course I have many who aren't. All the friends I've made online though (that I've met in real life as well) are into metal, I basically hang around metal communities, so...
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Thexhumed
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:26 pm
Posts: 1160
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 2:13 pm 
 

No, not even one, and it sucks to not have anyone to share or know new music.
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Gravetemplar
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:08 am
Posts: 731
Location: Antarctica
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:41 pm 
 

God, no. Why would I do that? Metal fans are the worst.

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On_Stranger_Tides
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 6:14 pm
Posts: 66
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:17 pm 
 

I got one, but we've been best friends for over 20 years, so it all works out.

Don't really have many friends, anyways.

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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 8:04 pm 
 

This thread is kind of proof: No one wants to be friends with metalheads.

):

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2522
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2020 8:40 pm 
 

Well, I would look at it as, a lot of people don't base their friendships solely on shared musical taste, because that is only one small part of what makes up an individual personality.

I've always been in that category. When I was very young I sought out other metalheads to hang out with but I learned eventually that just liking the same bands isn't enough to sustain a friendship if (for example) your whole set of core values are completely different, or you just have nothing else in common beyond listening to metal..

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Methuen
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 19, 2015 4:55 pm
Posts: 342
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 4:37 am 
 

My wife is - one of the blokes I work with is (As a gig-goer, he's big shows only though, won't come to all of the horrid-little-club shows with me)

Otherwise there's a weird general perception that it's all devil worship and vikings.

They're always horribly disappointed when they look up someone I'm talking about, and it's Epica / Nightwish / Rhapsody / Gamma Ray / Edguy type bands.
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jthompson
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:01 am
Posts: 216
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 4:53 am 
 

I've had a few friends/acquaintances who were into some metal, with a little bit of overlap with my tastes.

Having moved about a year and a half ago, I was pleasantly surprised to find one of my better friends is into metal, and we met completely outside of that context (ie not at a show or something). We don't overlap perfectly, but we have a ton in common-- like I've put on a Nile album while driving, and we both enjoy it.

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Vigintiseptem
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:23 pm
Posts: 264
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 5:06 am 
 

No, nor would I want them to be.

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acid_bukkake
SAD!

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:45 am
Posts: 1482
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 7:12 am 
 

When I was younger, like teens to mid 20s? Absolutely. We'd compare albums, recommend new findings (new bands or old classics), jam out here and there, etc. One of my favorite concerts was with a few good friends and meeting another pal in the pit, just minutes prior to him throwing a back elbow into my face and shooting blood all over from my schnozz.

Now? Nope. I'd say a handful of people I'm friends with now could even tell me the name of a band outside of the obvious choices and I'm okay with that. I just remind them "driver picks the music" if we're going somewhere and make them listen to one of my grind/death/thrash/classic playlists along the way.
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Required Fields
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:32 pm
Posts: 570
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 12:51 pm 
 

Yes, I do have a number of friends who are metal fans. Some are just into the bigger names, while others have knowledge of underground death metal and thrash metal bands.
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BinBagOffensive
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:21 pm
Posts: 20
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 4:59 pm 
 

My best friend loves metal, and I have been too most of my gigs with him. I would say he leans more to melodic death metal and that area, he often finds my interest in black metal a point of comedy. Did get him into some of it, and he does like Dimmu (work with what you got). My other friends they like a few bits, most shit from the nu metal era (so Papa Roach, disturbed, anything that was on TV/Radio).

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IamDBR
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 2:58 am
Posts: 1457
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2020 7:49 pm 
 

Not ideal but it's alright. One of my closer friends is sort of into it; metalcore, groove, thrash, maybe some trad., can't get into the heavier/technical stuff. Think chunky riffs, aggressive yet somewhat legible vox & groovy rhythms, maybe some general rebellious vibe. I used to be somewhat dismissive of "softer" metal but I think interacting with him broadened my tastes as well. Others can appreciate the instrumental prowess of some of the stuff I play. I also got them into some classical, folk, underground hiphop. But yeah, most of the time I have to tolerate their shitty pop/trap.

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 848
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 11:17 am 
 

I actively avoid making "metal" friends. I can't talk about it for more than 10 minutes without getting bored. Occasionally, I've had face-to-face conversations about music that went a little deeper than, "Have you heard xxx's new album? You should," but that's mostly with people I'm naturally close to, not people who share the same musical taste. I find it very difficult to have conversations where I'm just expressing enthusiasm. On the other hand, reading stuff about metal is great, and I'll remember much more easily some facts or some recommendations in that case.

Maybe it came from my school days, because my hometown has a very anti-metal ethos and is super urban. Most of my friends found it ridiculous or just pretended it didn't exist. I've always tried to make friends based on good personality and not common interests, so I have very few people to share music stuff with.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 27195
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 11:20 am 
 

I have a few online friends, most from here, who I talk about metal with outside of this site. And I've started to meet more and more metalheads in real life, too - I live in Florida and there's a lot of people around, so it makes sense I'd meet people into it. Not a lot of em perfectly align with my taste, but that's the norm for me.
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true_death
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 6:47 pm
Posts: 1924
PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 11:48 am 
 

When I was in high school, I had many friends of all kinds - most of whom had no idea what metal even was, but after graduating I quickly lost contact with pretty much all of them. These days, now that I've graduated college and have entered the work force, for some reason I've lost interest in really seeking out "friends" or maintaining any kind of social life at all - it's not something I even think about to be honest, just seems kind of boring and a waste of time. The only people I have interaction with outside of my family, are the members of my band and some other people in the wider metal scene both local and abroad...so in a sense, I only have metal friends :P.
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Thy Shrine
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:37 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Golgotha
PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2020 1:14 pm 
 

Not really, but i could care less because music choice is such a dumb thing to be friends with someone over, most of my friends listen to rap music, so i'm mostly exposed to that, but i like some it, and tolerate the stuff i don't like. i play metal for my friends all the time, and they never say they outright hate it, but it's mostly not their thing.
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