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Napalm_Satan
One-Trick Pony

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3167
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:57 pm 
 

That last one though... :lol:
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Necrobiotik
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2015 10:27 pm
Posts: 388
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:33 pm 
 

I wonder about what would be the influences of the Sacred Son.


Last edited by Necrobiotik on Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 959
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 5:54 pm 
 

That Sacred Son one cracked me up so much, I found this description on the bandcamp page "Created in the ligature of a third-life crisis sat at my dining room table in my dressing gown, the scent of the flower 'gypsophilia paniculata' in my nostrils."

Here this dude is having awesome vacations and chilling out in his dressing gown sniffing flowers all day while writing songs like "Apolyptic Winter" and "Sepulchral Rites." The music is legitimately icy black metal too, much less post rock/cascadian than I was expecting.
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DeathfareDevil
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2004 11:30 am
Posts: 928
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 8:29 pm 
 

Apparently gypsophila paniculata is baby's breath. He could have picked a more exotic flower. Or maybe his mom's a florist.

According to that bandcamp page, James Plotkin mastered the album and Christophe Szpajdel did the logo. Silly.

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tomcat_ha
Minister of Boiling Water

Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 8:05 am
Posts: 4709
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:19 am 
 

album cover of the year right there.

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stevetehgreate
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:51 pm
Posts: 218
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:25 am 
 

aloof wrote:
Spoiler: show
forestcorpse wrote:
Image

stevetehgreate wrote:
Image
Taramis - Stretch of the Imagination
Excuse me, am i listening to a metal album or a disco/funk rock album?


no argument on the covers, but they are both good albums (LW is a bit cheesy, but still quite catchy). give them a listen! \m/

the LeatherWolf might be good as well, but I haven't really bothered with them after Street Ready...

I've listened to Stretch of the Imagination,kickass album,but still that doesn't excuese that it looks like a disco album :-D

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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 915
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:27 am 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
That Sacred Son one cracked me up so much, I found this description on the bandcamp page "Created in the ligature of a third-life crisis sat at my dining room table in my dressing gown, the scent of the flower 'gypsophilia paniculata' in my nostrils."

Here this dude is having awesome vacations and chilling out in his dressing gown sniffing flowers all day while writing songs like "Apolyptic Winter" and "Sepulchral Rites." The music is legitimately icy black metal too, much less post rock/cascadian than I was expecting.


I'm listening to it right now, and i REALLY like it. It's a hilarious juxtaposition with the cover of the album.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:10 pm 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... bs_reviews
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 915
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:20 pm 
 

I mean, if this would have ACTUALLY been the debut cover and title....

Image

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Thexhumed
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:26 pm
Posts: 1009
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:43 am 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Sa ... iscography

It may look like a joke band, but the music is legit.
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metalistkrieg
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 465
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 2:02 pm 
 

bruh

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 2:06 pm 
 

That was just posted on the last page. Honestly, covers that are intentionally bad aren't nearly as funny - just sayin'.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:50 pm 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/D ... nnt/117475

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/D ... ime/635923
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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c_
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:15 am
Posts: 67
Location: Redhorn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 3:59 pm 
 

forestcorpse wrote:


What's even better is that forestcorpse owns the limited edition first-press vinyl :metal:

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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 959
PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:01 pm 
 

Warcrab - Warcrab
Image

Setting aside for a moment the idea of a crab having rippling muscling in the first place, notice how floppy its huge pecs are. This is a warcrab that was a varsity football player back in 96 but has spent a little too much time eating doritos and drinking beer. I was listening to this while driving this morning and while the music was enjoyable I had more fun think of stupid Warcrab song names. Here is what I came up with.

This Is Huh...Warcrab
Hammer Smashed Carapace
Pinched from Within
Buttered at Birth
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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:14 pm 
 

I think those are extra arms, not abs.
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Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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Apteronotus
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:07 am
Posts: 959
PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:21 pm 
 

I see it now. Next you'll tell me Santa Claus isn't real.
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putrenista
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 12:17 am
Posts: 686
Location: The Dissociated™ (fb@congoslick)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 3:53 pm 
 

Apteronotus wrote:
Warcrab - Warcrab
Image

Setting aside for a moment the idea of a crab having rippling muscling in the first place, notice how floppy its huge pecs are. This is a warcrab that was a varsity football player back in 96 but has spent a little too much time eating doritos and drinking beer. I was listening to this while driving this morning and while the music was enjoyable I had more fun think of stupid Warcrab song names. Here is what I came up with.

This Is Huh...Warcrab
Hammer Smashed Carapace
Pinched from Within
Buttered at Birth


Hehe, you might as well start your own crab-themed parody death metal band, a-la Cannabis Corpse. Call it CRABonized.

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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 915
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:24 pm 
 

LOOK at this.

Vogelfrey- In Ekstase

Image

It's ALL bad, but what's with the emoji!?

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Lord_Jotun
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2081
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:53 am 
 

Aside from the logo, which looks sloppily pasted on and comes in a rather intrusive shade of red, I really like that Warcrab one. The general color scheme I find genuinely pleasant.
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stevetehgreate
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 5:51 pm
Posts: 218
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 2:58 pm 
 

Alcanzando Un Orgasmo Descomunal - Obsceno / Throb of Offal
Image
Oh great,Diviantart started invading metal too

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HOT_DOG_DAY_89
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 11:52 am
Posts: 156
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:33 pm 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/H ... God/647349

More like enemy of art.

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Riggs
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:07 am
Posts: 50
Location: NYC
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:08 pm 
 

Hahahaha that Warcrab cover is awesome

And the worst cover of all time is actually Lady Gaga's Born This Way

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Necrobiotik
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2015 10:27 pm
Posts: 388
PostPosted: Sat Oct 07, 2017 12:34 pm 
 

Image

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DecemberSoul
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 822
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2017 7:55 am 
 

A Watain bootleg LP with really amateurish layout:
https://www.discogs.com/Watain-Nemini-P ... ev=item-vc

Once I was done laughing at the front cover, I looked at it a bit more thoughtfully and came to the conclusion that I actually LIKE it. It's so anachronistic - a stark jump back to the 80's and 90's esthetics of many a demo tape cover, as if anything achieved in visual designing since had never taken place - so there's an undeniable charm in that poorly done drawing.

Yikes! at the back of the LP artwork though: While I could look past the pointless change in font size from side A to B, I cannot see the worth or reason behind using the Schutzstaffel-SS. It's most likely an indication of the bootlegger's state of mental development. And the 1% tag is simply stupid; further cause to ascribe a certain level of brains or maturity to its creator.

Isn't Erik of Watain a visual artist? I wonder what he'd have to say about this...

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2017 9:23 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/6 ... 1.jpg?4513

Image
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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MawBTS
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2014 2:16 am
Posts: 733
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 12:39 am 
 

Jesus are we not putting NSFW tags on things any more.

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:49 am 
 

Wheres the NSFW one?
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Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 4:50 am 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Wheres the NSFW one?


Here you go, I guess he was referring to this pic:
Spoiler: show
stevetehgreate wrote:
Alcanzando Un Orgasmo Descomunal - Obsceno / Throb of Offal
Image
Oh great,Diviantart started invading metal too
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 4:57 am 
 

jimbies wrote:
LOOK at this.

Vogelfrey- In Ekstase

Image

It's ALL bad, but what's with the emoji!?


Image

Ftfy.
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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Earthcubed
The Great Fearmonger

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
Posts: 3603
Location: eccaira nare epë Anar
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 2:03 pm 
 

Christopher Lee's second album cover is pretty poorly photoshopped.


Image
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iamntbatman wrote:
On Friday I passed an important milestone in my teaching career: a student shat himself

FloristOfVampyrism wrote:
That wasn't meant as a k.o. though, he specifically targeted an area of the cerebellum which, if ruptured, renders you a Jehovah's witness indefinitely

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 2:47 pm 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Wheres the NSFW one?


Here you go, I guess he was referring to this pic:
Spoiler: show
stevetehgreate wrote:
Alcanzando Un Orgasmo Descomunal - Obsceno / Throb of Offal
Image
Oh great,Diviantart started invading metal too

What's NSFW about a guy coming home after a long day at work and throwing himself into his body pillow...oh
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:22 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
What's NSFW about a guy coming home after a long day at work and throwing himself into his body pillow...oh


:-D

Found this atrocity.

Swordmaster - Moribund Transgoria

Image
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:30 am 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/E ... Rock/86252
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 11:34 am 
 

^
Funny thing is, nobody could guess this is a death metal album from this artwork alone. It sends off some industrial vibes.

Syron Vanes - Property of...

Image
_________________
Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:32 am 
 

Spoiler: show
Image


https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/D ... ood/234406
_________________
nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 7:41 pm 
 

That album has to be good. No band could have an album cover that bad and not have the music be killer. You have to make up for that.
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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DecemberSoul
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 822
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:34 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:


What business has that disembodied face being there?

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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 9:42 pm 
 

Even a severed head can appreciate big booty hoes
_________________
Murtal wrote:
In flames became MeloDICK Death Metal

TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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DecemberSoul
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 822
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:16 pm 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Even a severed head can appreciate big booty hoes


I was hoping to get that sorta reply...well, that or a reference to oddly pareidoliac turds.

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