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SculptedCold
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2003 11:26 am
Posts: 406
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 1:20 am 
 

^ Cellphone's band photo is incredible.

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Oddeye
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:24 pm
Posts: 2184
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 4:07 am 
 

schizoid wrote:
You prefer dick to vag?

Decided to check out the band. Not bad!


I prefer album covers without any kind genitals. After all, I'm not 12 years old ;)

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1724
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:20 am 
 

SculptedCold wrote:
^ Cellphone's band photo is incredible.


Some people can actually make pretty cool shit with MS Paint.

But not that person.

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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2014
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:00 am 
 

he meant their photo, and I agree... I wanted to post it on the band photos thread and ask ppl to guess the year, but (1) the t-shirt of the dude on the right is a slight blemish/giveaway, (2) I am lazy... :D

here it is, so you don't have to go lookin fer it...
Spoiler: show
Image
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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1724
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:50 am 
 

aloof wrote:
he meant their photo, and I agree... I wanted to post it on the band photos thread and ask ppl to guess the year, but (1) the t-shirt of the dude on the right is a slight blemish/giveaway, (2) I am lazy... :D

here it is, so you don't have to go lookin fer it...
Spoiler: show
Image


Ah, I see what you guys are saying now.

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forestcorpse
Veteran

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:06 pm
Posts: 3808
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:25 pm 
 

Image

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emperorjvl
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2005 3:10 am
Posts: 131
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:16 am 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
I'm well aware of the fact that Sloth's only been releasing these, ehm, singles just for the sake of purposely putting out some idiotic covers, but still... The fuck?

Spoilers for half-nudity and bad taste:

Spoiler: show
Image

This one's called "This What I’m Tryin’ 2 C, When I’m Masturb8ing in a Parking Garage!!" Yeah, I'm not kidding. This bullshittery is on the Archives.



The problem here is the title, not the cover. I think it would have been perfect for an album called "THOT"

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 9976
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:24 am 
 

I think there should be a rule against posting Sloth covers in this thread.
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Cheapsteaks
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 14, 2016 8:02 pm
Posts: 49
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:05 am 
 

At this point, is Sloth just releasing a million singles because they know MA will have to put this up as a way to troll? They know the MA will put it up so just have fun and make a million bad albums.

IDK.
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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:46 pm 
 

It's impossible to put effort into something you're going to shit out daily like that.
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KrigareTjovane
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:06 am
Posts: 229
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:57 pm 
 

MorbidEngel wrote:
It's impossible to put effort into something you're going to shit out daily like that.

On the contrary, I think it takes a TON of effort to shit out stuff daily like that. That doesn't mean it's any good, but it does take a certain dedication.
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I_Crash_and_Burn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:16 pm
Posts: 230
Location: San Benedetto Belbo (Cuneo) Italy
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:30 pm 
 

New deathhammer artwork is a pain in the ass

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/7 ... 7.jpg?5947
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forestcorpse
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:06 pm
Posts: 3808
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:45 pm 
 

I_Crash_and_Burn wrote:
New deathhammer artwork is a pain in the ass

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/7 ... 7.jpg?5947


Hey, its awesome! :P
I know, looks really amateur ish and stuff, but I really dig it.
Kinda have an old retro feeling to it.

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Vadara
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 11:14 pm
Posts: 140
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:24 am 
 

forestcorpse wrote:
Image


This is honestly so dumb it becomes kinda cool by virtue of being goofy as shit, tbh.

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I_Crash_and_Burn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:16 pm
Posts: 230
Location: San Benedetto Belbo (Cuneo) Italy
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:27 pm 
 

forestcorpse wrote:
I_Crash_and_Burn wrote:
New deathhammer artwork is a pain in the ass

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/7 ... 7.jpg?5947


Hey, its awesome! :P
I know, looks really amateur ish and stuff, but I really dig it.
Kinda have an old retro feeling to it.


music shreds your lungs into tiny pieces, but c'mon the artwork is not amateur or whatever, it's just lower than terrible. Matter of tastes and things, but if I hadn't already owned Deathhammer previous releases this cover wouldn't have mede me buy this record. Hence,it has failed
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forestcorpse
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Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:06 pm
Posts: 3808
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2019 3:18 pm 
 

I_Crash_and_Burn wrote:
forestcorpse wrote:
I_Crash_and_Burn wrote:
New deathhammer artwork is a pain in the ass

https://www.metal-archives.com/images/7 ... 7.jpg?5947


Hey, its awesome! :P
I know, looks really amateur ish and stuff, but I really dig it.
Kinda have an old retro feeling to it.


music shreds your lungs into tiny pieces, but c'mon the artwork is not amateur or whatever, it's just lower than terrible. Matter of tastes and things, but if I hadn't already owned Deathhammer previous releases this cover wouldn't have mede me buy this record. Hence,it has failed


Ha, yea each to his own!

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 369
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2019 7:40 pm 
 

Cheapsteaks wrote:
At this point, is Sloth just releasing a million singles because they know MA will have to put this up as a way to troll? They know the MA will put it up so just have fun and make a million bad albums.

IDK.


To think how desperate one has to be in order to dedicate oneself to something so inutile and puerile as making singles consisting of the same harsh noise wall with no variation... just so they could be posted to Metal Archives. Like, what do you get out of it?

Okay, in order not to bump this thread without a good reason, I present to you this gem...

Umbah - Alien Beauty

Image
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CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:34 pm 
 

OOF that's a bad one

I think the mirrored face makes it even worse
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Required Fields
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:32 pm
Posts: 461
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:03 pm 
 

Here's a pretty bad one. It's Todd Hall from Riot V's first band, Harlet. They released one EP and one full length album in the late 1980s before disbanding in the early 1990s (in the late 2000s they reformed, but they are now a covers band).

This is the cover art for their full length album, 25 Gets a Ride.

Image

Yikes. Horrid cover art. The band name is only visible on some posters at the side of the building the hooker is standing at, and the album name is just printed on the hooker's shirt (poorly, might I add).

The reissue does actually have the band name be visible in the upper left hand corner, and the album title displayed at the bottom. Still, it's a really bad album cover.
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Last edited by Required Fields on Sun Feb 10, 2019 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Space_alligator
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:43 am
Posts: 254
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:44 am 
 

Still better then most of the generic computer rendered art out there.

Sorta reminds me of a bland version if "somewhere in time"

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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2014
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:59 pm 
 

released in 2017. no prizes for guessing the nationality.

spoiler because apparently Mark Zuckergerg has an m-a profile... /NSFW
Spoiler: show
Image


https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... tle/670163 hilarious lyrics too

slight improvement, their next album is "just" an eyesore:

Image

feelin' brave? https://steelshock.bandcamp.com/
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Last edited by aloof on Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:05 pm 
 

Might wanna spoiler the nips in the first one
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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2014
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:08 pm 
 

good idea, Mark.
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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 160
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:34 pm 
 

Xenophon wrote:
I can't decide whether this one is bad or good, but it made me laugh out loud when I first saw it:

Spoiler: show
Image


Estate - Fantasia
.


the ART itself is VERY good. The subject is just SILLY. It's a happy Pan playing the flute! :lol:

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 160
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:43 pm 
 

aloof wrote:
Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/C ... ion/729558

stellar music like this reserves better art! :/ boo, hiss high roller recs :p


Looks like a guy in a Mardi Gras costume!

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 160
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:44 pm 
 

aloof wrote:
spoilers for size, slightly sexual theme (the 1st only) and bad taste...

Spoiler: show
Image


I can't hate ANY cover that has a hot girl in a Red Sonja costume! :-D

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:24 pm 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/G ... rld/757005

Probably self-aware but what the fuck
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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 332
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:11 pm 
 

MorbidEngel wrote:
Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/G ... rld/757005

Probably self-aware but what the fuck

That logo looks like a nasty dog toy lol.

Steel Crown - Sunset Warriors (Spoilered for size)

Spoiler: show
Image
Small gun, big gun, anti-aircraft gun, mace.

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Metal Shark
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 9:54 am
Posts: 160
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 9:20 pm 
 

MorbidEngel wrote:
Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/G ... rld/757005

Probably self-aware but what the fuck


instrumental grind... about ORCS.

:brick:

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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:42 am 
 

Image
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/A ... das/708613

Dear lord
(Was this posted? I'm not sure)
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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8473
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:57 am 
 

German-speaking Mexican guy named after a Burzum album doing anti-Catholic Christian black metal, that's something...
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ironmaidens_666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:37 am
Posts: 284
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:11 pm 
 

Image
This popped up on the archives today. :puke: :puke: :puke:

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3287
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:22 am 
 

I wanted to find that album to check it was Portuguese I was translating for the cover there. Problem is, I assumed 'Cérebro de Galinha' (chicken brain; what I was translating) was the name of the album because of its placement. 'Mundo em caos' (world in chaos, as you could probably guess) up there is in such a crappy font I thought it said 'Mundo em eaos'.

Ugh. Bad enough when a cover sucks but when it actively wastes your time too? Crikey.

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frostjunkie
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 10:59 am
Posts: 74
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:43 am 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
Cheapsteaks wrote:
At this point, is Sloth just releasing a million singles because they know MA will have to put this up as a way to troll? They know the MA will put it up so just have fun and make a million bad albums.

IDK.


To think how desperate one has to be in order to dedicate oneself to something so inutile and puerile as making singles consisting of the same harsh noise wall with no variation... just so they could be posted to Metal Archives. Like, what do you get out of it?


I thought the same at first but they upload a track every single day and charge $1 each, and they've been around long enough that I'm sure there's a handful of collectors that 'must have everything.' They're probably pulling in enough every day for free beer and smokes just by turning on a shitty noise pedal for 10 minutes.

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 9976
Location: Gradec, Austria
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:01 pm 
 

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/C ... ing/764241
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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 940
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 9:52 pm 
 

I think the really bad cutting hob on the inquisitor is the worst offender here
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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2014
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:51 pm 
 

meaow
Image Image Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Fe ... inda/15103
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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 369
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2019 8:28 pm 
 

frostjunkie wrote:
I thought the same at first but they upload a track every single day and charge $1 each, and they've been around long enough that I'm sure there's a handful of collectors that 'must have everything.' They're probably pulling in enough every day for free beer and smokes just by turning on a shitty noise pedal for 10 minutes.


Oh, so a life-hack, I presume. In that case I feel sorry for the hardcore fans willing to part with their money so they could receive another piece of Sloth junk. At some point you have to have some self-respect.

aloof wrote:
Image


I know this album's title is The Felines Await You, but that Yo makes this even funnier.
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Earthcubed wrote:
CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
I was hoping for some material that resembles closer to "Lugburz"


And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1724
PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 12:34 pm 
 

Azmodes wrote:


That artwork must've been inspired by the Heavy Load song The Guitar is My Sword. :-P

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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2014
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:33 pm 
 

DividerOfShadows wrote:
Spoiler: show
aloof wrote:
Image


I know this album's title is The Felines Await You, but that Yo makes this even funnier.


innit right, yo?


Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/H ... ter/766765

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/D ... ers/766951

Image

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/T ... own/759706

I won't be surprised if some of you like that last one... :D
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