More garbage thrash artwork:

Yeah, thank christ Havok got their shit together and never put out an album with a cover that embarrassingly dumb again (Unnatural Selection was pretty bad, but not "Pwn 'Em All" bad).

It seems that the genre of "shit-tier old school revival thrash metal with a slice of non-funny try-hard humour" has a propensity for really bad album covers, aside from the really shitty music contained within.

Like, when a modern joke-ish thrash band releases something named after a classic thrash release with some non-funny joke attached to the title (Pwn 'Em All - Kill 'Em All, Pleasure to Chill - Pleasure to Kill, Eat Pizza or Die - Speak English or Die....) this rings all possible warning signals for me concerning the quality of the music within. Turns out that I'm almost always right too.

That Havok EP actually surprised me as being at least decent throughout. When I first saw it, I thought it would suck really hard (like, say, the first Immaculate album or most Lich King material). But it didn't. Music on it is much better than the cover and shitty title would have you believe. I mean it's not the greatest thing ever, but if it had been released by Lich King it would have been their best output by far.

Regarding Unnatural Selection (image on MA is kind of big, so I'm spoilering it):


Not so sure what's so extraordinarily bad about this one. Seems to me it's a take on this "edgy art with a vague political undertone" thing that's been going on with thrash albums since the 80's. There are far worse stinkers in that category as well.

I just think it looks really ugly. Yeah there's nothing extraordinarily bad about it, but compared to their previous two album covers, it sucks.

Actually Time Is Up is far, far uglier and one of the most hideous album covers I can think of. It isn't poorly done on a technical level like some of the amateur crap in this thread, but man I put the band off for so long because of how stupid this looks:

Yeah, that one doesn't look too good. It sort of reminded me of this death metal album art which features a similar skeleton-like creature with blood running down it's skull and the world's biggest smile. That one was also pretty fail.

Tried to find that one, but I don't remember the band name. So after some deliberation i put "ugly death metal cover" in google image search, hoping it would show up. It didn't. But I got some other shit that's just as worthy.

For example there's this thing (NSFW-ish, no full nudity but clearly sexual theme):


I knew about this before, as I found it once when casually browsing MA and noticed that it had 3 reviews and an average of 5%. I got curious and checked it out. I shouldn't have done that. Music is way worse than the cover makes you believe (and the cover isn't exactly making a good impression on it's own). Forgot about it until now, but sure as hell fits the thread.

Didn't you know? Debauchery is close enough to being the worst metal band in existence...

Meh, I quite enjoy Kings of Carnage, which surprised the hell out of me given that Debauchery seems to be such a maligned band. Can't say for the rest of their material as I haven't heard much else, certainly going to avoid Germany's Next Death Metal.

http://youtu.be/vljHBXA3UKE

This particular song, above all else, is a reason to leave this band and everything it's shit-crusted fingers touch forever maligned. God damn, our god of murder and violence deserves an anthem more representive of his holiest of attributes, not this limp Six Feet Under hard-rock bullshit.

Death to Debauchery! Blood for the Blood God!

To each his own. I like the color contrast on Time Is Up more than on Unnatural Selection, but yeah TIU does look pretty silly. The skeleton's face never fails to make me smirk every time I see it.

Yeah, that was the one that killed me. I was suckered into actually listening to the album due to the cool artwork. Little did I know what awaited me... Ha, I still can't even think of replaying that song to this day!

Going back to the mid-90s for a second.



This is from a non-metal release by a formerly metal band, so I guess it can go in here? Still sucks regardless.

Waltari- Radium Round


What the hell? A frozen microphone on top of a snow covered mountain with some creepy/ugly smiling guy's head inside of a glowing red orb with a siren on his forehead. Yeah, this cover makes perfect sense.

Siren on his head? I thought that was a jewel. Like some kind of kid's anime villain.

Could be, just looks like a siren to me. Who the hell knows what it actually is.

Is that the original version or the "pussy" version haha

I tried to submit this band to the archives, and one of the reasons it got rejected was "Not a finished product, no cover art". I can see why they'd get that impression, but unfortunately, this IS the cover art:

If they had given the album some dumb abstract title like "eternal void suffocation" the art (or lack thereof) would be sort of appropriate. But having a really gory and graphic title like "scythe impalement" and giving it the white album treatment just makes me want to laugh. In the same vein of lazy art for comical titles, it reminded me of this gem..

Don't think I've seen this one posted here before, pretty NSFW.

I literally took a shower after looking at that.

Shock for shock's sake. I wonder who that kind of thing impresses now a days. Diarrhea humor. I found that shit funny when I was a little kid, not so much now.

The thing as that art is pretty well drawn and would be kinda nice to look at if it wasn't for the main subject being what it is.

Also, Coroner and Celtic Frost arts on the wall.

Oh yes, it's a little known fact that Anne Frank's favorite song was "Circle of the Tyrants".

not so much an atrocity, more like... yoda? gollum? a rooster? wtf?

No words.

"Tasty ears!"

Did Mike Tyson design that cover?

Even the band name sucks. What exactly is a mullmuzzler, and why did James LaBrie think it was a good name for a band?

I'm pretty sure he picked a dumb name on purpose out of frustration with his label

Furious Zoo - Furioso

Someone just got a copy of this in the recent purchase thread ha ha it's awful isn't it!


http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Furious_Zoo/Furioso/20398

Looking at their album history, I think they have one other album that qualifies as worse than that!

Anal Orientated Rock! ha ha ha ha

Wow, that's hilarious.

^the tracklist for this is epic
http://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Va ... rok/447700

^ names and links and stuff are what we're after mate, so it can be searched, none of us want to see this stuff twice I'm sure!

I think it's getting to the point where Pizza Thrash can be considered an entire subgenre of its own

^ It was always destined...

I'd really prefer if that didn't happen, ever. Like, not even jokingly.

There's a Testament lyric that sounds like "cremate your pizza!" it's on Return To The Apocalyptic City somewhere...

Would it matter if I mentioned that this album was a colossal injoke for another site

No because the track list is still terrific.