Some time ago I was sifting through the metal section at Newbury Comics and came across Rumpstiltskingrinder's album "Stealing ET". Now this alone was enough to make me laugh my ass off, but what sealed the deal (inciting me to buy it) was the sticker painted onto the cover that said "EXTREME BURGLAR METAL!". Since then I've run into "alcoholic metal", as with Tankard and Alkoholizer and my friend refers to bands like Origin as being "death bicycle grind fuck" (not as relevant though; since Origin didn't advertise themselves that way and it's never caught on outside of my small circle of close friends).

So I pose the question: what other AMAZING genres are out there just waiting to break through?

Duck metal is going to be the new shit.

I recently invented Lobstercore. No idea what it'll sound like, but it'll fucking rule.

Anyways, naming a genre based purely off a lyrical theme is retarded, so you'll never hear me refer to Korpiklaani as "beer metal" nor Shadow Warriors as "ninja metal" nor Running Wild as "pirate metal" et cetera ad nauseam.

But Lobstercore... this scientifically cannot suck.

I always thought it'd be funny if magazines etc went overboard making up a different -core for every band. As in, Nile would become Egyptcore, Arghoslent is Racistcore, Demilich is Burpcore, and then there would be the inevitable controversy when some schmuck accidentally calls Suffocation "Niggercore". And at the end of all of this people are so burnt out on "core" that the -core scene collapses.

http://acrn.com/
+
core
=
terrible.

ACRN is my campus radio station filled with mostly stupid assholes who know next to nothing about any music, no matter the genre. The funniest is the assholes in it who made up their own "noise" scene in town because they couldn't really play anything else and they needed to get attention for some reason, so basically they just go to their own shows and praise each other.
Anyways, they refer to themselves as "the lobster" and have the radio station filled with lobster stuffed animals and costumes and traps and various other lobster paraphernalia.

Core-lapse ftw.

Anyway in high school, I used to do bass in a band named Captain Cremation and the Squier Squad, we played "Grillcore".

My friends and I have started referring to Ahab as 'Whalecore' because of the Moby Dick-themed lyrics. I thought it was terribly funny when I first heard the term.

Edit: post count 100. I feel so accomplished now.

Indeed, this is hilarious and has not in any way been an incredibly stale joke for numerous years.

Life Metal counters Death Metal just as Delight Metal counters Doom Metal. Go to the local patent office if you want and trademark those things just in case. That way you can make a tidy sum if anyone decides to market such brands.

I definitely find the animal genres to be the funniest so far, and Ducks and Lobsters of all things. Brings to mind that album about the rise and fall of the wooly mammothom by the prog group Explorer's Club.

I get the feeling Granny Metal is inevitable.

Fairy Metal!!!!
oh wait...... there is Dragonforce

not to mention Fairyland.

Hateful Bike Black Metal.

Picnic Metal

This is turning into a list by list of the very worst kind.

Ha.

There's a band called Xe-None who claim to have invented their own metal genre. They've even named their album after that.

FEAST YER EARS ON:

DANCE METAL!

http://www.last.fm/music/Xe-NONE/Dance+Metal+[Rave]olution

We call our band therapy metal. Ha! It makes me laugh.