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Worst Band Names
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=94406
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Author:  Mimogrede [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Milking The Goatmachine anyone?
Their music is quite fun, but the name is just laughable...

Author:  Ceald Hraew [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Messiah_X wrote:
Intestine Baalism: Not really sure what they're going for here. The combination of one's bowels and Goetian demon worship doesn't make much sense. Maybe it's a language barrier thing


One’s bowels isn’t the only meaning of intestine. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/intestine#Adjective: “Domestic; taking place within a given country or region.”

Makes sense now?

Author:  DarthVenom [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Kveldulfr wrote:

Edguy. WTF? in spanish at least, it's pretty common to hear from metalheads saying it 'Edgay'.
Power Quest - can you get a more generic name than that? it's easy to find terrible band names in power metal anyway.


Even though Tobi's one of my favourite artists, Edguy always came off to me like a "Well, we got big...guess we're stuck with it now" sort of name. And Power Quest's name actually kept me from checking them out for the longest time, which is pretty much the worst result a name can have, commercially-speaking. Even though I'm a fan of both bands now.

Author:  LegendMaker [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

For Edguy, Tobias Sammet confirmed in interviews that it's exactly what happened: they had no good idea for a name and used this stupid semi-pun at first, but then it was too late to change it. It's originally supposed to be a reference to a teacher they had at school, called Ed, or something to this effect. Pretty much the same story as with Leonard Skinner (Lynyrd Skynyrd).

Author:  Techno Viper [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

any of those multiple word band names like:
Beyond the Embrace
3 days grace
Lamb of God
From this Day
As I Lay Dying

Author:  MorbidEngel [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Could always go with most of the band names from the "Verb the Noun" naming fad lately, like Haste the Day.

but some band names I've heard, like Emergency 911 and Freshman 15, come on, they're horrendous

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Kveldulfr wrote:
Job for a Cowboy (W T F !)
Waking the Cadaver - THE most generic goregrind name ever?


The deathcore scene spewing out tons and tons of bands with a z0mg-wuts-der-name???-complex is what the hot topic-trekking 14 year olds of that generation (their target audience) love so much.

Author:  Turner [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MorbidEngel wrote:
Freshman 15


hahahaha, that's a GREAT one!

Author:  MorbidEngel [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

The best part is, I'm not making this up

Yes, I know, terrible source.

Author:  Liquid_Braino [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Zelkiiro wrote:
Lullacry. They're a very solid gothic metal group with some great material, but...but...fucking hell, man!


I have a draft of a review of one of their albums and I basically trash the band name at the first sentence...ridiculous.

I've never been a fan of the name Old Man's Child either. I don't care if it's supposed to mean anything; it just sounds stupid. Thy Serpent is another one.

Author:  MorbidEngel [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I swear I remember reading that "Old Man's Child" was a reference to Satan, but that source is long gone as far as I can see.

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Kveldulfr wrote:
Waking the Cadaver - THE most generic goregrind name ever?

No. Not only are Waking the Cadaver not goregrind, but names for bands of that genre usually involve pathological mumbo-jumbo (Lymphatic Phlegm, Haemorrhage, Hydropsy, Inopexia, etc.). Waking the Cadaver sounds more like a slam death metal band's name than anything else, and that's what they are.

Author:  Xlxlx [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

They actually play "slamming gore groove", according to themselves :ugh:

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Xlxlx wrote:
They actually play "slamming gore groove", according to themselves :ugh:

Well yeah, they're from New Jersey. Every death metal band from New Jersey is stupidly over-the-top.

Nhor, we get it, you're a true badass who hates -core kiddies and loves to expose them for the poser scum they are every chance he gets. You'll find, however, that after you beat this point into the ground to the point where a large percentage of your posts are of such a nature, people will start to get annoyed with you. Try contributing something worthwhile for a change.

Author:  splyu [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Zerberus wrote:
Empyreal wrote:
Symphony X is pretty bad, yeah. A much more mature, badass name would suit their music.

Alot of power metal (or power metal-ish) bands have terrible names. I think Symphony X was something that probably, to them, sounded badass when they released their first few albums, and then it just kinda stuck. To me the name fits their early style alright but not so much nowadays. Probably wouldn't be the best carreer move to change your widely-known name to something else all of the sudden either.

I don't particularly like the band but I will say this about their name: they probably didn't choose it randomly. I'm almost sure the "X" in this case is meant to be the Roman numeral 10. There is a legend among classical composers that "after your ninth symphony, you have to go." Both Beethoven and Bruckner only managed nine symphonies, this is where the legend comes from. Mahler was extremely anxious about this, so he tried to trick fate by naming his tenth symphony something other than "Symphony no. 10" - in his case, "The Song of the Earth". He did die before completing his actual symphony no. 10.

Of course it's still all superstition, but it's not nearly as stupid naming your band after this as it would be if it just meant "Symphony Something".

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalignantThrone wrote:
Waking the Cadaver sounds more like a slam death metal band's name than anything else, and that's what they are.


I thought they were "brutal deathcore."

Author:  Kveldulfr [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalignantThrone wrote:
Kveldulfr wrote:
Waking the Cadaver - THE most generic goregrind name ever?

No. Not only are Waking the Cadaver not goregrind, but names for bands of that genre usually involve pathological mumbo-jumbo (Lymphatic Phlegm, Haemorrhage, Hydropsy, Inopexia, etc.). Waking the Cadaver sounds more like a slam death metal band's name than anything else, and that's what they are.


I was talking about the kind of name - which is generic as it gets- , not what those fuckers play.

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Nhor wrote:
MalignantThrone wrote:
Waking the Cadaver sounds more like a slam death metal band's name than anything else, and that's what they are.


I thought they were "brutal deathcore."

Well, technically they are because they use a fair share of breakdowns, but they're not a deathcore band when you get down to it. They're basically Devourment with even less emphasis on death metal and even more on chunky rhythms, and in addition they don't sound remotely like Job or a Cowboy, Suicide Silence, Carnifex or any other overtly deathcore band you could think of.

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalignantThrone wrote:
Well, technically they are because they use a fair share of breakdowns, but they're not a deathcore band when you get down to it. They're basically Devourment with even less emphasis on death metal and even more on chunky rhythms, and in addition they don't sound remotely like Job or a Cowboy, Suicide Silence, Carnifex or any other overtly deathcore band you could think of.


Wouldn't that be because they're taking elements of brutal death metal rather than standard death metal?

Author:  Zerberus [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

splyu wrote:
I don't particularly like the band but I will say this about their name: they probably didn't choose it randomly. I'm almost sure the "X" in this case is meant to be the Roman numeral 10. There is a legend among classical composers that "after your ninth symphony, you have to go." Both Beethoven and Bruckner only managed nine symphonies, this is where the legend comes from. Mahler was extremely anxious about this, so he tried to trick fate by naming his tenth symphony something other than "Symphony no. 10" - in his case, "The Song of the Earth". He did die before completing his actual symphony no. 10.

Of course it's still all superstition, but it's not nearly as stupid naming your band after this as it would be if it just meant "Symphony Something".


If that's the case - and it may very well be - I don't see anything wrong with the name. It's not the most awesome sounding name in existence, but I think it fits them alright given that Michael Romeo is somewhat of a classical music buff and has made an album of that terrible virtuoso-neo-classical stuff.

Author:  vengefulgoat [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

splyu wrote:
I don't particularly like the band but I will say this about their name: they probably didn't choose it randomly. I'm almost sure the "X" in this case is meant to be the Roman numeral 10. There is a legend among classical composers that "after your ninth symphony, you have to go." Both Beethoven and Bruckner only managed nine symphonies, this is where the legend comes from. Mahler was extremely anxious about this, so he tried to trick fate by naming his tenth symphony something other than "Symphony no. 10" - in his case, "The Song of the Earth". He did die before completing his actual symphony no. 10.

Of course it's still all superstition, but it's not nearly as stupid naming your band after this as it would be if it just meant "Symphony Something".

Thanks for the explaination. Their name always made me think they've watched too much of The X-Files...

Author:  Numerator_41 [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Lord_Jotun wrote:
For practical reasons, I hate names that are impossible to spell without copying and pasting them every single time, like the already mentioned Paracocciwhatevertheunholymotheroffuckosis and some LLN projects. Honorable mention to Nyogthaeblisz.


I think Nyogthaeblisz is pretty cool, actually. It's a combination of the Lovecraftian deity Nyogtha and the Islamic equivalent of the devil, Iblis.

Author:  MorbidEngel [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Speaking of LLN, "Brenoritvrezorkre" and "Vordb Dréagvor Uèzréèvb". I understand wanting to be obscure, but there's a point where it becomes absurd. "Misanthropic Nemesis Upon the Bloody Altar of Ragnarok" is terrible too (so long that MA cuts the name off!) as is "Paladins of the Golden Power Fights With the Great Sword of Eternal Magic and the Great Kings Will". Dear god

Author:  LegendMaker [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Liquid_Braino wrote:
I've never been a fan of the name Old Man's Child either. I don't care if it's supposed to mean anything; it just sounds stupid. Thy Serpent is another one.

MorbidEngel wrote:
I swear I remember reading that "Old Man's Child" was a reference to Satan, but that source is long gone as far as I can see.

Well, yeah. While Galder released no less than 2 of my all-time favorite albums, I've never liked the name he chose for his band/project either, nor did it ever make sense to me. Where the hell he was going with this reference.


And yeah, it's always been "Symphony Ten", as in the tenth symphony, in reference to Beethoven's "curse". Never occurred to me it could be interpreted as the letter X, actually. Do you guys say "Symphony Ex" out loud, then?
:violin: o_O

Author:  MorbidEngel [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I always have. Believe it or not it never even occurred to me to pronounce it as a number.

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

It's sad to see people naming bands in this thread because their names are too long. :ugh: Come on, guys, Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis's band name features a whopping 19 syllables. Not 387, but 19. You can't tell me you've never had to memorise something of that length; did you throw a fit memorising your country's national anthem, too?

Author:  Hellrisen [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Love Pork

Stupid-ass name, sounds like it was picked to be funny but it's just dumb.

Author:  Ceald Hraew [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalignantThrone wrote:
It's sad to see people naming bands in this thread because their names are too long. :ugh: Come on, guys, Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis's band name features a whopping 19 syllables. Not 387, but 19. You can't tell me you've never had to memorise something of that length; did you throw a fit memorising your country's national anthem, too?


Would you like having a 19 syllable long name?

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Well I hate brutal-death so I don't bother remember any of their names despite their length antics. Now if we really want to get this part started, let's have a look at something I don't think anyone has ever been able to find an audio sample of, but should remain fairly familiar to those in the death metal loop:

Spoiler: show
For example, the fractured creature indicates that a science beneath the table inexorably bumped accidentally into a model. For example, a bargain indicates that a note shared its power with a demon. Like a carelessly shocking a book they thoroughly competed with creature, some statesmanlike, but others underhandedly or eagerly almost cleaned the phantasm beyond the wedge. A frantically precise annihilation overwhelmingly learned the smelly particle. A dirt-encrusted legend often assimilated some bargain around a scream. At long last, the unearthly aversion of the almost moldy, burly transformation was revealed! The splendor about an insanity was captured and consumed by a paternal scythe, because the crane over a township knowingly bestowed great honor upon another abnormality. Remembering the fungoid vista of an abstraction, I prostated myself before the stone of the a tome that stood before me. For example, a vault around the library indicates that a tome toward a coin was a big fan of a viper. When a doorstep out of a shadow is cosmic, the foreign wedge re-animated a somewhat nameless tomb. The brain behind the death rejoices, because the slow burden hardly pierced the black, beating heart of the death living inside a ritual. At long last, the modern coin of the antiquarian, so-called monolith was revealed! Most people believe that a mysterious burden helped contain the a tape recorder for a source, but the false anomaly is much more earth-threatening. Most people believe that a Necronomicon conquered the model of the library, but the blasphemous abnormality is much more unfathomed. Oh, the lazily infected annihilation of it ALL! When you see a pit, it means that a curious history self-flagellates. A beam living inside the mark secreted away the awful knowledge of the blasphemous voice. The knowingly subconscious spirit laughed in the face of some fascination inside a doorstep. The wheel bumped accidentally into the clock about a shadow. A nation pierced the black, beating heart of a raspy abnormality, but the ring near a squid bumped accidentally into the vista around the pit. Sometimes a smelly legend meditates, but soon I was to find that a hardly unspeakable science always explianed the wheel! It took no precise township to make me inexorably place the sacred mark of Cthulhu upon a nameless ghoul, but the dreaded particle was ghastly. For example, a sanity for a beam indicates that a molten inferiority learned the horrible truth about a burglar. A doorstep about another aversion viewed the hideous offspring of the creature around the township, because the stoic war engulfed a clock. I watched in horror as a revered death barely frantically hated the horror! A half-hidden ritual recognized a temporal monstrosity. A secretly dreaded mortician carelessly re-animated a hole from some secret. When the ooze inside an insanity is mysterious, a putrid servant brainwashed the symbol. The aversion inside a ritual explianed an abstraction. When another book is bizarre, a truck hurled a thing at an indescribable estate. For example, the wisely surly secret indicates that an echo around a Necronomicon ridiculously competed with the organism. Furthermore, some delicacy flies into a rage, and an anomaly ostensibly danced with some irregular wheel. Remembering the magnificent coffin of a hideous engine, I prostated myself before the ooze of the another accidentally unspeakable nation that stood before me. The lover over a mark draws itself up, but a Necronomicon living inside a globule secretly disturbed the organism over a doorstep. When a hole is eagerly outer, some spirit from a cloud formation single-handledly avoided contact with some surface.

Author:  Xlxlx [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

That can't be a band name. Who the hell came up with that? :eek:

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Ceald Hraew wrote:
MalignantThrone wrote:
It's sad to see people naming bands in this thread because their names are too long. :ugh: Come on, guys, Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis's band name features a whopping 19 syllables. Not 387, but 19. You can't tell me you've never had to memorise something of that length; did you throw a fit memorising your country's national anthem, too?

Would you like having a 19 syllable long name?

No, but if I had a friend who had a 19-syllable-long name, I'd try to remember it because that would be the courteous thing to do for someone I liked.

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Xlxlx wrote:
That can't be a band name. Who the hell came up with that? :eek:


Couldn't say for sure, but it's been floating around for a while as far as I know and I've just had it saved for these type discussions.

Author:  Metallic Shock [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

LegendMaker wrote:
And yeah, it's always been "Symphony Ten", as in the tenth symphony, in reference to Beethoven's "curse". Never occurred to me it could be interpreted as the letter X, actually. Do you guys say "Symphony Ex" out loud, then?
:violin: o_O


The band members themselves pronounce it "Symphony Ex".

I don't know if I'd call it one of the worst names ever, but I've never liked the sound of Freedom Call. Seems like it's trying to hard or something. And it's one of those names that after you hear it you know what the band is gonna sound like.

Author:  LegendMaker [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalignantThrone wrote:
No, but if I had a friend who had a 19-syllable-long name, I'd try to remember it because that would be the courteous thing to do for someone I liked.

Sure, but what if you had a friend named, say, Steve (or more realistically in that case, José) who deliberately decided to change his own name to "Ginecólogo Necrolamedor Clitoral", and named his band "Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis"? That's not being a friend, that's taking the piss.

Metallic Shock wrote:
The band members themselves pronounce it "Symphony Ex".

Really? Damn, it's fucking stupid, if that's true.

Metallic Shock wrote:
I've never liked the sound of Freedom Call. [...] And it's one of those names that after you hear it you know what the band is gonna sound like.

Yeah, it sounds like a EuroPM band who imaginatively named itself after a renowned Angra EP.

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

LegendMaker wrote:
Really? Damn, it's fucking stupid, if that's true.


How have you been pronouncing the letter X this whole time?

Author:  299796kms [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Bongzilla: Childish, immature, uninteresting. Just like their music.

Author:  IAteMyOwnHead [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I know it's already been mentioned, but "Deströyer 666" sucks balls. And it's especially annoying because their music is awesome.

Author:  LegendMaker [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Nhor wrote:
LegendMaker wrote:
Really? Damn, it's fucking stupid, if that's true.


How have you been pronouncing the letter X this whole time?

"Ten". I've always said "Symphony Ten" (dude, I said it like 2 or 3 posts above! :D).

I'm still shocked by this. It's like telling me Louis the fourteenth was actually really called "Louis Ex Aye Vee".

Author:  metaldiscussor666 [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Strapping young lad and my dying bride. Those sounds like the name of some core-bands. Just lame names.

Author:  Nhor [ Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

LegendMaker wrote:
"Ten". I've always said "Symphony Ten" (dude, I said it like 2 or 3 posts above! :D).

I'm still shocked by this. It's like telling me Louis the fourteenth was actually really called "Louis Ex Aye Vee".


Oh, I read that as sarcasm. That is just too funny.

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