Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives
https://forum.metal-archives.com/

Worst Band Names
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=94406
Page 1 of 20

Author:  MalariaMosquito [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Worst Band Names

Inspired by the Best/Favorite Band Names thread, what are some of the worst names for metal bands you can think of and why? Is it forgettable, confusing, unpronounceable, goofy, or just plain dumb? I'll start with some of my least favorite:

!T.O.O.H.! -- How am I supposed to pronounce that? Where does the punctuation go? They transformed an awesome name into a shitty name by abbreviating.
Weapon -- Boring, generic, impossible to search, and somehow there are at least four bands that thought it was a good name.
Leviathan -- 15 bands on the Archive called Leviathan.
Strapping Young Lad -- Great band, silly name. At least it's distinctive.
Goat Molestör -- Juvenile. Glad they changed it.
Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis -- Unreadable, unpronounceable, unspellable.
... -- Yes, that's actually the name of a (one-man) metal band. A punctuation mark.

What are some of your worst?

Author:  MalignantThrone [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Quote:
Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis -- Unreadable, unpronounceable, unspellable.

I actually really like this band name. It's no harder to remember than, say, "In an Excruciating Way Infested with Vermin and Violated by Executioners Who Practise Incendiarism and Desanctifying the Pious", and plus the absurdity factor gets people to talk about a truly great band, so.
Quote:
!T.O.O.H.! -- How am I supposed to pronounce that? Where does the punctuation go? They transformed an awesome name into a shitty name by abbreviating.

Do you have serious issues with pronunciation or something? :???: If Winnie the Pooh pronounces it "poo", then Winnie the !T.O.O.H.! would be "too", geez.

Author:  TheMizwaOfMuzzyTah [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Strapping Young Lad is an incredible name.

Metallica, music aside, is incredibly feminine sounding. Not that feminine qualities are bad, but juxtaposed with their music it's pretty incredibly fucking bad.

Author:  henkkjelle [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Strapping Young Lad one of the worst band names? You know who Devin Townsend is right? He named his DTP boxed set "contain us" which is pronounced as "cunt anus" It's amazing, and so is SYl's name.

There are a lot of horrible band names, but if I had to choose I'd choose Tracedawn. I'm pretty sure it's the most meaningless and lazy band name ever.

Author:  Poisonfume [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I already posted my list on the other thread:

11 As in Adversaries
3 Inches of Blood
Destroyer 666
Infinitum Obscure
Prostitute Disfigurement
The Devil Wears Prada (Really, band? REALLY?)

MalariaMosquito wrote:
Leviathan -- 15 bands on the Archive called Leviathan.


That doesn't mean it's a bad name. There's a reason why there are 15 bands. Leviathan is a very metal name.

Author:  Xlxlx [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I really, really dislike "br00tal" names such as Waking the Cadaver, Guttural Secrete or Fleshgod Apocalypse. They just sound like they're trying too hard to sound violent and aggressive. Also, infinitely retarded misspellings piss me off (I'm talking about "Brutal Forcz" levels of stupidity here).

Author:  Nhor [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalariaMosquito wrote:
Weapon --impossible to search


Image

What a cluster fuck it was finding that song, I gotta tell you.

Author:  EmeraldEdge9832 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Destroy Destroy Destroy...that's an actual band. Never listened to them, but the name just sucks.

Also Anal Cunt.

Five Finger Death Punch. Gay as fuck.

Author:  Hawksword192 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Destroyer 666. Normally I'm not exactly too critical about the moniker a band chooses but the 666 aspect makes it seem so extremely juvenile. Had the band just chosen Destroyer, it would have sounded at least twice as awesome. The only other band that sort of makes me wince when anyone asks what I am listening to is Anaal Nathrakh. It sounds just a tad too close to anal for me.

Author:  henkkjelle [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Anaal actually means anal in my language. I have gotten some weird looks from people asking me the name of that band....

Author:  Nhor [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

EmeraldEdge9832 wrote:
Destroy Destroy Destroy...that's an actual band. Never listened to them, but the name just sucks.

Also Anal Cunt.

Five Finger Death Punch. Gay as fuck.


Don't get me started on the awful non metal band names :lol:

Author:  oogboog [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

http://www.cracked.com/article_15118_th ... story.html
Here's a list for some of you.

Author:  VoidApostle [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Satan's Almighty Penis. Just... why?

Author:  Indecency [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Poisonfume wrote:
The Devil Wears Prada (Really, band? REALLY?)


While the name is weird, and it's embarrassing to say in public, and everyone thinks you're talking about the movie, the name still has a purpose. The band is trying to criticize the materialistic nature of people with their name. Yeah, maybe they could have done it in a less weird way. But whatever; I've known and listened to this band for so long, the name seems normal to me now.

Fun (not really) fact. A few years ago, a girl in my math class once asked me what I was listening to. I told her The Devil Wears Prada. She asked me "Oh.. Do you mean The Devil Wears Prada soundtrack?"

:durr:

Author:  SladeCraven [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Gloomy Grim. Lamest most ridiculous name ever. I cannot tell you how much I hate it.

Author:  Ceald Hraew [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Make a Change... Kill yourself.

At least it’s straight to the point.

Author:  SladeCraven [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Nhor wrote:
EmeraldEdge9832 wrote:
Destroy Destroy Destroy...that's an actual band. Never listened to them, but the name just sucks.

Also Anal Cunt.

Five Finger Death Punch. Gay as fuck.


Don't get me started on the awful non metal band names :lol:


What a terrible band. They played with someone I was seeing quite some time ago and the vocalist was wearing a studded Speedo. The medieval weapons included in the show were certainly better than the music.

Author:  metalxstorm123 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Destroyer 666 is way better than the name Destroyer

Author:  Messiah_X [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I actually think quite a few of these are decent band names (Except for Devil Wears Prada... fuck that). The quality of the bands varies, but just on moniker alone, none of these are really all THAT bad. I'll admit it is annoying when tons of bands have the same name (Leviathan, Legend, Disgorge, etc.) But they aren't really bad names, just common and overused. It's like saying Chris is a shitty name because there are so many guys named Chris. I realize band names are different, but with so many metal bands out there, you sometimes run out of evil/badass/gross names that haven't already been used.

That said, I think there are quite a few examples of poor metal band names out there:

Big Daisy: what were they thinking? Not only is the name crap, the album cover is worse. And this is a 7" that sells for $1000! Quality NWOBHM, horrible presentation.

Toad The Wet Sprocket: I know it's a Monty Python reference, just doesn't work for a metal band. Or a 90's alternative rock band since apparently someone else got the same idea.

Precious: Well that's just metal as fuck. Actually Japan seems to be somewhat notorious for bad and/or nonsensical band names. This being possibly the worst of the lot (but still pretty good 80's power metal) Honorable mention to Breeze Least and Jewel (also quality Japan metal)

Ax'n'sex: Quickly changed their name to something more appropriate/less retarded. They became Ivory Tower

Slip'n'slide: Another necessary name change. This one became Randy.

Randy: Still not there yet... Randy from Randers Denmark. At least its better than Slip'n'slide.

Dum Dum Bullet: French Motorhead clone with another stupid name, at least for a metal band.

Crazy Lazy: Hey, it rhymes, but does it scream "heavy metal?" I think not.

Max Planck: Not exactly terrible, more of a WTF name. I suppose when you can't think of a more traditional name for your metal band, naming your band after a famous physicist is a unique solution.

Lester Maddox: Same as above, only this time the band is named after a southern segregationist politician during the civil rights movement.

EDIT:
TOTALLY agree with "Make A Change... Kill Yourself" and adding to the list of horrible DSBM names, I'd add "Happy Days" and "I'm In A Coffin"

Author:  Atrocious_Mutilation [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

MalariaMosquito wrote:
Weapon -- Boring, generic, impossible to search, and somehow there are at least four bands that thought it was a good name.

You're not going to have a problem searching for the Canadian black/death Weapon anymore, since they copyrighted their name and forced the other Weapons to change their names. :nono:

Author:  King_Hands [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Eternal Tears of Sorrow. Weepy, cliche and somewhat redundant.

Author:  PhilosophicalFrog [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

You didn't know Toad the Wet Sprocket was a 90s band? They were famous as fuck...

Author:  Messiah_X [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

No, I did. They were even from my area. I guess I could have written that better. What I meant was apparently 2 bands used the same Monty Python reference as a "clever" name. One that I think is stupid

Author:  HenryKrinkle31 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

TheMizwaOfMuzzyTah wrote:
Strapping Young Lad is an incredible name.


Agreed. Such a bad-ass name, and unique.

I vote for Rhapsody of Fire. Makes me laugh out loud every time I see or hear it. Rhapsody, on its own, is awesome, but adding 'of Fire' is not a fix-all.

Author:  Zelkiiro [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Lullacry. They're a very solid gothic metal group with some great material, but...but...fucking hell, man!

Author:  HenryKrinkle31 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Also, Space Eater. Just kinda stupid to me. Maybe I don't get it.

But the band kicks ass...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzbxuGEW4Rg

Author:  ~Guest 132892 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I could do without some of the paragraph long names some Post Rock bands have.

Author:  Nhor [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Poisonfume wrote:
The Devil Wears Prada (Really, band? REALLY?)


A terrible name for a terrible band; quite fitting if you ask me.

Author:  Lord_Jotun [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Messiah_X wrote:
Ax'n'sex


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Satanic Warmaster always struck me as somewhat juvenile and not at all representative of the band's quality. Not the worst of the worst, but meh.

Wasn't there a band called "."?

For practical reasons, I hate names that are impossible to spell without copying and pasting them every single time, like the already mentioned Paracocciwhatevertheunholymotheroffuckosis and some LLN projects. Honorable mention to Nyogthaeblisz.

Author:  theposega [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

iAm wrote:
I could do without some of the paragraph long names some Post Rock bands have.


I quite like those, actually. I almost don't even bother to check bands out if they have fewer than 3 words in their name.

Eyehategod is probably the worst I can think of. It's a cheesy name, has that stupid everywordtogether thing and the homophone is just awful. But they're a great band, sure. I'd just never wear a shirt of theirs.

Honorable mentions:
Drowning the Light
Wolves In The Throne Room (Love the band, but come on, man)
Brutality (really fucking generic)

Author:  Bruce500 [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Vaginal Penetration of an Amelus with a Musty Carrot...

Author:  Malthus [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Happy Days. I get it. You DSBM fags want to be ironic. But did this idiot not realize the name has already been used for a very well known 70's sitcom?

Image

Also...

Dew Scented

I'm In A Coffin

Forgive Me

Children of Bodom

Author:  Messiah_X [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

theposega wrote:
iAm wrote:
I could do without some of the paragraph long names some Post Rock bands have.


I quite like those, actually. I almost don't even bother to check bands out if they have fewer than 3 words in their name.

Drowning the Light
Wolves In The Throne Room


Seems like you contradict yourself :lol:

I agree with Eyehategod though. Eyehateeyehategodandeyehatetheirfuckingname

Author:  MalariaMosquito [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Quote:
Do you have serious issues with pronunciation or something? If Winnie the Pooh pronounces it "poo", then Winnie the !T.O.O.H.! would be "too", geez.

Potential conversation: "I like the band '!T.O.O.H.!" "You like The Band too?" "I like !T.O.O.H.! too much!" "Are we talking about two bands?" "That's right, the band's !T.O.O.H.!" "Me too!" "You're in The Band !T.O.O.H.!?" "No. Is The Band Two a side project of The Band?" "Which band?"...

It's like an Abbott and Costello skit.
Quote:
Strapping Young Lad one of the worst band names? You know who Devin Townsend is right? He named his DTP boxed set "contain us" which is pronounced as "cunt anus" It's amazing, and so is SYl's name.

Of course I know Devin Townsend, and I like much of what he's done. I never liked SYL (the name) and I'm glad he doesn't use it anymore, but agree to disagree. This is an opinion thread.
Quote:
What a cluster fuck it was finding that song, I gotta tell you.

Ok, I exaggerated its lack of searchability. Doesn't keep it from being boring.

Author:  Erosion of Humanity [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I'm gona have to go with I Wrestled A Bear Once, I have no idea what they are about or what they sound like but the name is just fucking dumb.

Author:  Nhor [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Now to get it all out there, off the top of my head I think

Godflesh
Cannibal Corpse
Dimension Zero
Flesh Crawl
Commit Suicide
Hate Eternal
In Flames
High on Fire
Soilwork
Am I Blood
Akercocke
Cradle of Filth
Dimmu Borgir
Megadeth
GWAR
Danzig
Korpiklaani
Krisiun
Machine Head
Meshuggah
Saint Vitus
Scar Symmetry
Voidvod
Xasthur

are all mighty fucking retarded.

Author:  Metantoine [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

*Voivod. It's a pretty badass name when you know the meaning. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voivode

Author:  Empyreal [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Edguy
Tad Morose
Custard
Vulvagun

All awful names for good or great bands...

Author:  Nhor [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

I've pronounced my "v's" as English "b's" for as long as I've been able to speak so I read and pronounce "Voivod" as "Boibod" which, to me, sounds too goddamn close to "boy band" in my dialect, something I just can't be bothered to mention as often as the titles of bands I do like.

Author:  Eppek Blade [ Sat Nov 03, 2012 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst Band Names

Pretty sure you can look to a lot of deathcore/metalcore bands for names that are absolutely awful:

Asking Alexandria
Arsonists Get All the Girls
We Butter the Bread with Butter
Dance Club Massacre
The Devil Wears Prada (as has been mentioned before)

Some others I can think of with fairly lackluster names:

Goat Vulva
I'm in a Coffin
Wheels Within Wheels
Wine from Tears
Bat Castle

Page 1 of 20 All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/