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AndromedaVessel
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:10 am
Posts: 87
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 6:53 pm 
 

PaganiusI wrote:
Same band, other release:
Hassmütz - zweitausend.
Lyrics for Totgelebt were layouted pretty strangely, added a black line to make that clear. A few of the lyrics can probably be copy-pasted from the album after checking they didn't get changed.
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/H ... end/839434
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/j0y3omckwaar ... Iw3qa?dl=0


I did it but I left it as run-on sentences whenever there wasn't an apparent line break, can I leave it like that or should I format it more like it is in the booklet?

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MetalCuresHeadaches
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:35 pm
Posts: 897
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 10:44 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/O ... its/836911

https://outlawtendencies.com/
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islwnd wrote:
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AndromedaVessel
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:10 am
Posts: 87
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 6:19 pm 
 

MetalCuresHeadaches wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Outlaw_Tendencies/The_World_Awaits/836911

https://outlawtendencies.com/


Done.

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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 1481
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:17 am 
 

AndromedaVessel wrote:
PaganiusI wrote:
Same band, other release:
Hassmütz - zweitausend.
Lyrics for Totgelebt were layouted pretty strangely, added a black line to make that clear. A few of the lyrics can probably be copy-pasted from the album after checking they didn't get changed.
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/H ... end/839434
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/j0y3omckwaar ... Iw3qa?dl=0


I did it but I left it as run-on sentences whenever there wasn't an apparent line break, can I leave it like that or should I format it more like it is in the booklet?

There's nothing wrong with displaying it just as it is printed.
But since I was proof-reading it anyways to fix German capitalization stuff, I went ahead and split it up, double-checking with how they split it in the songs (and the rhyme scheme).
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Duisterling
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:12 pm
Posts: 679
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2020 8:57 am 
 

Noticed the Galar album Til alle heimsens endar is still missing its lyrics, so I made some pictures of my copy and uploaded them to imgur. Hoping someone here with more experience than me with Norwegian characters could add them. I apologize for the suboptimal picture quality -- I think it's all readable but please contact me if there are any problems.

Album: Til alle heimsens endar

1. Forspill [instrumental]
2. Ván
3. Paa frossen mark
4. Grámr
5. Det graa riket [instrumental]
6. Ingen siger vart vunnin
7. Til alle heimsens endar
8. Etterspill [instrumental]
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autothrall on Gridlink's Longhena wrote:
[T]hey never just stand there with their dicks in their hands, but piss and flail wildly about and then collapse in on themselves.

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Nightsward
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:55 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Heard and McDonald Islands
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:39 pm 
 

Spelldown - Post-Apocalypse Now
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... Now/846831
https://www.facebook.com/pg/spelldown/p ... 3957129020


Never mind, copy-pasted all the lyrics from a snapshot of their old website.


Last edited by Nightsward on Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Dickpenis
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:31 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2020 4:57 pm 
 

Night Demon - Are You Out There (lyric video)

MA

Found on Bandcamp.


Last edited by Dickpenis on Tue Jun 09, 2020 2:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Nightsward
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:55 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Heard and McDonald Islands
PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:20 pm 
 

Duisterling wrote:
Noticed the Galar album Til alle heimsens endar is still missing its lyrics, so I made some pictures of my copy and uploaded them to imgur. Hoping someone here with more experience than me with Norwegian characters could add them. I apologize for the suboptimal picture quality -- I think it's all readable but please contact me if there are any problems.

Album: Til alle heimsens endar

1. Forspill [instrumental]
2. Ván
3. Paa frossen mark
4. Grámr
5. Det graa riket [instrumental]
6. Ingen siger vart vunnin
7. Til alle heimsens endar
8. Etterspill [instrumental]


Done. There may be some minor errors with Ván's lyrics (was unclear whether some of the a's were ås or just weird yellow dots from the background picture), but overall it should be pretty accurate.

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Duisterling
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:12 pm
Posts: 679
PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2020 12:38 pm 
 

Nightsward wrote:
Done. There may be some minor errors with Ván's lyrics (was unclear whether some of the a's were ås or just weird yellow dots from the background picture), but overall it should be pretty accurate.

Great! Thanks. I can get out the booklet and check on those a/å's. I'm guessing it should be easy to tell the difference when looking at the real thing instead of those mediocre pictures from my antique telephone (sorry about that).
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autothrall on Gridlink's Longhena wrote:
[T]hey never just stand there with their dicks in their hands, but piss and flail wildly about and then collapse in on themselves.

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Dickpenis
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:31 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2020 5:13 am 
 

Vampire - Serafim
Just transcribed this. At 2:47 he sings "blood-clod", not "blue-clod", as in the video, doesn't he?
MA

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OpsiusCato
Mexican Metal Inquisition

Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:42 am
Posts: 2913
Location: Mexico
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2020 3:56 am 
 

Death Warrant - Time of Dying
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Uncolored, on being a law-abiding citizen wrote:
I'm going to an illegal AnarchoPunkfest in an abandoned disco near a beach. If I'm not here tomorrow look for me in jail.
PhiloFrog, making accurate statements as usual, wrote:
Opsius is Metal as fuck.

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MetalCuresHeadaches
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:35 pm
Posts: 897
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2020 11:39 pm 
 

Jucifer - Futility

Lyrics included at Bandcamp, but will need to be retyped as they are listed in all caps.
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0th
Suicidal Angel

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:59 pm
Posts: 202
Location: China
PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2020 12:03 am 
 

Alhadis wrote:

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Dickpenis
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:31 am
Posts: 81
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2020 2:35 am 
 

Sorcerer - Lamenting of the Innocent (Imgur)

MA

Mauled by Snow Listener


Last edited by Dickpenis on Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Nightsward
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:55 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Heard and McDonald Islands
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2020 9:15 pm 
 

Tape covers presented in a Youtube video, so some of the lyrics may not be super clear...but most of them look transcribable.

Undead - Rupture of Eight
MA

Undead - Crucial Laws: Side A songs
Side B songs
MA

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0th
Suicidal Angel

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:59 pm
Posts: 202
Location: China
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 9:45 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/W ... hen/860717
https://wyrre.bandcamp.com/album/wrath-of-heathen
Have to retype the lyrics because of the font.

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MetalCuresHeadaches
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:35 pm
Posts: 897
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:17 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/E ... emo/393064

https://endofallflesh.bandcamp.com/releases

Needs some cleanup for punctuation, spacing, capitalization, etc.
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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1413
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:59 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/M ... rol/164635

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/UY4AAOSw ... -l1600.jpg
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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1413
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 6:22 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/S ... ght/132756

https://www.discogs.com/release/7690065 ... ght/images
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AndromedaVessel
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:10 am
Posts: 87
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2020 11:31 am 
 

MetalCuresHeadaches wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/E ... emo/393064
https://endofallflesh.bandcamp.com/releases
Needs some cleanup for punctuation, spacing, capitalization, etc.

Antioch wrote:

Antioch wrote:

Done.

I was checking out Crotchduster's lyrics and I decided to try and transcribe (in italic) whatever's not in the booklet, just for fun. Here it goes:

Spoiler: show
THE TRUE NATURE OF WILLIAMS

Williams won't you wait a while
Williams won't you make us smile
No key will unlock the door
To an interdimensional dumptruck world
40 fucking tons of thundering bliss
The tip of southern hell
Ain't even hotter than this
If you want to go to Williamsburgland
You gotta check with Cain
Because that dog is the man

- Dude, isn't that fuckin'...
- Dude, that's fucking Williams!
- Holy shit, look at that fucking truck!
- Dude, that truck is the size of my fucking ass!
- Good Christ, man, let's go!
- Check this shit out!


I can't believe my eyes
It's shining in the sky
I hope Cain enjoys my smell
So I can get inside

Welcome to my dumptruck
Inside Williamsburgland
The power seats and cold A/C
Is under Cain's command
Men like me who poop and pee
Inside a coffee can
If you want to get inside
Three tests you will withstand

Dig a hole and live in it
And sleep in it for 15 days
Steal a goddamn police car
And drive it in a lake
Eat a prepubescent narcoleptic
Peeled and sauteed steak
There's a steak in my plate
Now doesn't it look great
Put it in your mouth
And masticate the steak

- Dude, I passed the test.
- Fucking so did I, man!
- Dude, did you eat the steak?
- Yeah, I fucking did!
- The car?
- Dude, have you ever tried to find a cow with narcolepsy?
- I'VE DONE IT!



_________________________________________________________

BIG TOP WILLIAMS

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain, Bill Williams. I'd like to thank you for flying Williamsburg Trucklines. If you look out to your left you'll see Cain taking a giant dump. And if you look out to your right you'll see my sister fucking herself with a stick. Dammit put that stick down you dirty whore! Mammal sauce that we're serving on our in-flight meal was mixed with my cock as a swizzle stick.

Welcome to the bottom of my pants
Eat my asshole
Shitting out a turkey leg in France
Here's 5 dollars
I'm a nasty dirty little slut
Hey I hear ya
We're all bleeding
Here's a bagel
Vagina land

Let me fuck your pussy
Let me fuck that fuckin shit
If I had a crowbar
I'd spread your ass open with it
Let me pinch your nipples
Let me smell your sweaty tits
I'll use my geographic tongue
And clean your buttcrack out with it

(???)
(???)

They got the titties at Molly Brown's
They got that pussy at Molly Brown's


Smelling her big titties
Makes my monster arise
Her pussy's winking at me
Like a wet gooey eye

Vagiflap the reason for Cain
The way that he looks in my eye
Mammal sauce, so pleasantly fresh
My senator's vagina in the sky
Williams





_________________________________________________________

CAIN SINGS THE BLUES

Now leave me alone when I'm trying to mow the lawn, ya faggot!

My pants is tight
And my balls is long
My O is itchin
From this camel hair thong
My legs is sweaty
And my mind is too
Skip Skiffington
Is the last angry Jew
My hands is hairy
And my sight is gone
Because my willy's been
Inside your mom
When I was 52 I had 3 balls
I bury living cats inside my walls

Girls are screaming
Boys are crying
Uncle Teddy's fish are dying
I got ghonorrea when I butt fucked a dead armadillo
Add 3 eggs, one stick of butter
Beat the shit out of your brother
Noctiforinontitaty fliptoronic sliptoflappy

So, the other day, I'm going to pay in cash for my brand new Lexus, and the rims I ordered, they put the wrong fucking rims on. It's like when I'm going into a fucking restaurant to eat I can't sit down without some son of a bitch kid coming up to me and saying "Hey, sign this, sign this!" Why don't you sign my cock, you little bastard? I'm trying to eat a fucking meal here, I don't care if you buy my records, get the fuck outta here before I punch your cock. I'm sponsored by Adidas and why do I give a fuck if your little Filipino kids work for 15 cents a year to make these goddamn shoes, they look great! You put on a pair of Adidas and a brand new fucking fur coat and you are stylin'! And let's face it, that's what this business is all about: style. I mean, listen to these guitars, they sound like shit. Me and J made this up in a half an hour, you don't have to be good to do this. Here's my belly button from the inside.

Gangleosis streaming dreams
Woke up in a box of beans
Wizards dragons demons blizzards
Stuff your rectum full of gizzards
Beavers in my SSL
I condemn them all to hell
Drinking beer out of your ass
Fuck your mom with broken glass
I hope mom will be home soon
So I can get some tasty poon
Shoots and ladders getting fatter
Puppy soup is not for me
Williamsburg upon the wall
Who says Williams best of all
I'll throw liquid on your console
If I don't take my Haldol






_________________________________________________________

LET ME INTO STARFISH LAND

- Hey, hey, did you see that fuckin' girl that my brother fuckin' brought over here the other night?
- That, uh, that blonde chick with the big tits?
- Yeah, too much fucking makeup?
- Oh, dude, she was hot as shit, yeah, I fucking saw her.
- She's alright, but she's high - fucking - maintenance.
- Yeah, she sounds like it. Is that that bitch that came in here and sang that one day?
- You know, she was like NGAHGHN NGGHAAAAGHN WOAAAWOOAOOOW
- Yeah, she was pretty good dude, you think we could get her to sing on this song?
- Dude, dude, she won't sing on this song, she will not sing anything that has to do anything with tits or fucking pussy or anything.
- Really? Even if we paid her?
- Even if we gave her, like, 500 dollars, she likes Jesus and shit like that.
- Aw, man.
- Dude, dude, she's only fucking kissed- she's 23 years old, she's only kissed a fucking guy!
- That's 'cause she never had her asshole licked before.


The A train never stops
And I am headed for your hole
I'd be so lucky if I
Could cream in your asshole
There's so much shit that we
Could make each other do
I'd rather fuck your asshole
If that's O.K. With you
Here comes the honey
When I am through
But I am not done cause
Your asshole is so new
Open up wide, here comes the train
If your head was between your legs
I'd love to screw your brain

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll take you all to Starfish Land


Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll suck out all the peanuts
I'll suck out all the beans
I'll tongue fuck your rectum
I'll drive up your dirt road
I'll felch out my own semen
And spit it down your throat

I love bunnies
I love pink
I love my mom's underpants
Especially when they stink
I love rainbows
I love balloons
I cried at Forrest Gump
And Disney cartoons

Boba Fett, Boba Fett
Vader and Boba Fett

Lubed up mustard glove
Anal love
Traveling butt raping show
Steal a Mercedes
And grab the old ladies
And grease up your O

She said that I could touch it
She said she'd let me in
I warmed her up with my middle finger
Some anal ease and gin
My wang was in her crap trap
Just about to explode
Her 30 year old stepmom
Came in and drank my load





_________________________________________________________

MR. INDIGNANT ERECTION

- Hello?
- Fuckin' (???)
- What?
- I'm not about popcorn, man. That shit gets in my teeth and I have to fucking pick that shit out with toothpicks, it takes me about 3 hours to pick all the shit outta my teeth after I eat some popcorn.
- What are you talking about?
- Uh, cashew nut chicken.
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Fuk Sing Chinese Restaurant.
- I did not just call you!
- Why can't you be truthful to me, yo?
- Dude, I did not just call you.
- (???) Don't even fucking kid about that shit.
- Why don't you do some *69?
- Dunno, my phone fainted out a couple of times.
- Okay, so what did the caller ID say?
- One time I had a dream I couldn't move...
- No, it did not say- how would it say that?
- A banana, some yogurt and some vanilla wafers.
- Uh, I don't believe it said that, whatever. Fix your mustache, asshole.


Mr. Indignant Erection
Why must you be so brash
Let's play Twister with Wesson oil
And a meat cork for your ass
(???)
Have you ever felt a meat cork plunge you
Like a barium enema mass
Insufficient lubrication
Will damage your intestinal tract

Mother's not home
Let's have some fun
Make sure that daddy's away
If they ever found out
What we're doing here
They'd probably think we're gay

Mr. Williams home
Just leave me alone
Captain Tupperware
Rip out my pubic hair
Hey there Captain Dan
Welcome to Butter Land
Melted cheese and shit
Rub my face in it

Cadillac mac tick tack
A swollen sack attack
Praying to the cottage cheese
That runs within my mind
Cottage cheese we worship
Came from the crack in your behind
Masturbate the alligator
Masturbate the alligator
Frozen pudding logged in person
Elevate the elevator
Desecrate the nipulator
Praying for the nannys
Suck my stolen eye
Revibrate the devibrator
Let me inside of your asshole
300 pounds of toys melted
Into a log of hate
Realize that your mother's boyfriend sells potatoes to a pimp
(???)
Work your way into my asshole
Grab a shovel
There's no hassle
Welcome to my dick






_________________________________________________________

MAMMAL SAUCE

- Goddamn, man, it's hotter than a motherfucker out here, man.
- I know. Shit.
- Goddamn, look at Crotchduster, boy, them some weird motherfuckers.
- Man, fuck Crotchduster, man, we need to get to Williamsburgland.
- I know, those motherfuckers know how to get though, man, goddamn, Wi- Williamsburgland.
- I know, man, they got some fat-ass pussy and some big-ass titties in Williamsburgland.
- I heard all (???) Williamsburg, dawg... where the titties so low...
- Goddamn, we ran out of Mammal Sauce!
- Goddamn, we damn sure gotta get some Mammal Sauce, plus them hoes dawg they faintin for that Mammal Sauce, dawg.
- We need some Mammal Sauce.
- When one of them hoes gets on that Mammal Sauce, they get to cuttin theyselves and motherfuckin pissin all over the motherfuckin place and shit, man. I mean, this shit is just... goddamn we need some Mammal sauce.
- We need some Mammal Sauce.
- For real man, I need- Ey, ey, Williams, Williams, dog, check this out. I need four orders of Mammal Sauce, dawg. Hurry the fuck up, man, get down and get your ass back, nugga.

In case of emergency
Gotta use Mammal Sauce
It's my everyday supply
Without it I'd be lost
Trust me motherfucker
I use it in my hair
I use in my balls
And even play solitaire

I put it in my milk
To make my breakfast great
You must think I'm joking
I use it to masturbate (really?)
But when I have a party
I spike the drinks
Mammal Sauce is the greatest thing
Since the Cuban link

MAMMAL SAUCE!

Open up your mind
Open up your mouth
Open up your mind
Open up your mouth
Motherfucker here we go


Listen up motherfucker
I got something I need to say
If you don't use Mammal Sauce
You might as well be gay
I feel it running through my brain
I feel it running through my eyes
You hear the name that's calling you
It makes you hypnotized
Let's go!

Williams

Sliptoflappy rappy
And a carpal tunnel pudding flanker
Nabble and a stampy and a
Pigeon smelling generator
See a chitlin wafer and a
Chocolate buttered horses ass
Frabble obble abble and a
Stupid monkey chicken gas
Chinese diarrhea prison carpet
Chunky harplegig
Nopaliaseah perforated
Purple parkle pig

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang

Sliptoflappy rappy
And a carpal tunnel pudding flanker
Nabble and a stampy and a
Pigeon smelling generator
See a chitlin wafer and a
Chocolate buttered horses ass
Frabble obble abble and a
Stupid monkey chicken gas
Chinese diarrhea prison carpet
Chunky harplegig
Nopaliaseah perforated
Purple parkle pig

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
We eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
We eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
We eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
We eat a bucket of Tang
We eat a bucket of Tang

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
My Mammal Sauce
My Mammal Sauce

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
Spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill Williams loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang
My Mammal Sauce
My Mammal Sauce







_________________________________________________________

JOGGING IN HELL FOREVER

You thought it was a toothbrush
But it was a flashlight
Broke out all your teeth
In the middle of the night

When I was a boy
When I was a man
Supercalaspacteoneunifonican
Eating in a boat
Dying in a dream
Jacking in a magic land
That's made from shiny teeth
40 little girls and boys
Eating all their siblings toys
Waiting for a train inside
A Russian immigration tank
Craving unpubescent narcoleptic
Peeled and sauteed shrimp
I'm feeling kind of nauseous
Cause your mama was a pimpy man

Now I'm a toothless shitbag
But I can see at night
I hope aliens impregnate me
With a clone of Wayne Newton

Who is Senator Williams
What has he done for me
4 hits of bubble bath
Laced and cut with cheese
Pasteurized with milk
Sedated with the Danish
Cinnabun has just begun
To take over your teeth

What the fuck has she done
With my pussy cat
My only friend has seen
The eye of the demon
I wipe my tears knowing
She's gone purring
In the wilderness... forever





_________________________________________________________

STARS INGENIOUS COOTER (LIVE)

"Crotchduster! Crotchduster! Crotchduster! Crotchduster!"

Hello, Dusseldorf! Hi, and welcome to my BeerFest! Hi, I'm Richard Christie and I'd like to welcome y'all to the 30th an- Hey, shut up, I'm trying to talk. Okay, what I was saying is hi, I'm Richard Christie and I'd like to welcome to you... uh, you to my 30th annual Richard Christie Dusseldorfian Beer Festival here in Dusseldorf, Germany. Hope you're drinking plenty of beer and having a good old time out there, I can see that a lot of you are... and, uh, so have fun, and let's rock and roll like crazy party animals! So, please welcome Crotchduster!

ALRIGHT
THESE SONGS ARE FROM BIG FAT BOX OF SHIT ALBUM
THIS IS CALLED
STARS
INGENIOUS
COOTEEEEEER!

ALRIGHT
I WANT TO SEE ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
SHITTIN ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE!

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

FUCK THEM ON THEIR FUCKING CHIN UP!
LET'S GO!

(???)













_________________________________________________________

CROTCHOPUS

- Dude, Dirty Asians Who Love Jewish Dildos is gonna be on in 37 seconds, turn the TV on now!

"- Hello, this is Andrew Boytoucher and you're watching Channel 75, Action News! Our lead story tonight comes from the city of Daytona Beach, where angry residents say they're tired of their town being known as a haven for public drunkenness, nudity and strip bars every 18 feet.
- Well, yeah, back before they had, uh, you know, Spring Break and, and uh, the thing where the guys run their motorcycles all over the place, the only thing anybody knew Daytona Beach is, you know, the pedophiles down by the boardwalk and all the junkies and stuff.
- But sir, doesn't Spring Break and Bike Week provide quite a financial boom to your area?
- Not to me it doesn't, I've been the tilt-a-whirl operator of the carnival for 18 years and I'm still making US$ 3,75 an hour."

- Dude.
- Huh?
- Do you know what this means?
- No?
- If that law passes they're gonna close down Molly Brown's.
- We're calling Williams.
- Call him right now.
- Alright.

- Hello?
- Williams.
- Who is this?
- Slippery Jim!
- Wha- have you been watchin the news?
- I'm trying to masturbate!
- Wha- they're- they're tryin to-
- What?
- They're trying to pass a- they're trying to close down Molly Brown's!
- What do you mean?!
- They're trying to close to close Molly Brown's!
- What?!
- Dude, they're trying to close it down.
- WHAT?!
- We gotta fuckin do something!
- OH MY GOD!


Let's get in the van
Go to Molly Brown's
I've been saving money for a month
If they close it down we'll start a riot
Their damn ATM charges ten dollars

Mystical vaginas are in my face
I smell the aroma of the gods
I'll give you the money
That I brought with me
If you'll friction grind upon my rod

Yeah, you like that, don't you? You dirty little slut. Oh yeah, stick that ass way up in the air. Yeah, I know how you like it. Yeah, right there, right there. Yeah, bring your sister in here. Oh, you're both so dirty. Sorry, I'm done
That was like ten seconds

I got balls
I got balls
I got balls
I got balls

I got balls
I got balls
I got balls
I got balls

I got balls
I got balls
I got balls
I got balls

I got balls
Biggily diggily balls
Biggily diggily balls
Biggily diggily biggily diggily balls
Biggily boo


(backwards stripper face)
In the blink of an eye
(???)
We look in the room
And he's getting it on
(???)
FACE
STRIPPER FACE
STRIPPER FACE
STRIPPER FACE

As I gaze unto my right
His face is coming into sight
Eyes popping out and mouth agape
(???) the veil of stripper

Next summer... in a world gone mad... only one man can stand up... against the tyranny... and oppression... of the Dutch.
"You will only eat chocolate and buy watches!"
Starring Vin Weasel...
"Fuck you, you wooden shoe bastard!"
...Karen Pussyflowder...
"Put down my son's balls!"
...and Deanu Reeves...
"Fuck you!"
...in Let's Kill the Dutch.


I'd stick my hand right up her cartoon box
Too bad for her we don't have cartoon cocks
I'd like to give her a semen dip
Jessica Rabbit's got them cartoon tits
My dick's not hard it's just drawn that way
And we both know that the Rabbit's gay
I'd shoot up Roger with some poison gas
So I could fuck you in your cartoon ass

What's up, my little chicken potpie... Even though your face is huge, I love the shit out of you, girl...

Girl with a big face
I saw you at the bus stop
From a mile away
Even though it was really dark
Girl with a big face I love you more each day
Even though you're face
Is as big as a dinner plate

Next Christmas... the elves have unionized, and they're sick of those two old slave driving white devils...
"- Hey Joe, when was the last time you got a raise?
- Fucking never!
- Me too! What do you say we kill Santa and ruin Christmas?
- Yeah, cut his dick off and stick it in his ass!
- Alright.
- Alright!"
Slappy Spottedballs...
"You know, 14 is the age of consent in South Carolina."
...as old Saint Nick...
"Put your clothes on and put your retainer back in. Mrs. Claus is coming."
...Julia Louis-Drypuss...
"I sure am glad we don't have to make presents for the Jews."
...as Mrs. Claus...
"Hey yo, you ready? Goddammit shut up, he's fuckin sleepin!"
...Santa gets shot... stabbed... choked...
"Eech, you're fucking choking me"
...burnt... electrocuted... nailed to a cross...
"You bastards!"
...and disemboweled. Santa's elves know your kids haven't been good. Fuck your kids and fuck you too. This movie's been rated G.

(???)

- Heeeey, hey, just- just hold on a second. We have to read-
- What's going on?
- We have to read some hate mail.
- Right in the middle of a song?
- Right in the goddamn middle- look what we've got. *shuffle* See this shit? Motherfuckin hate mail!
- Is it all hate mail? It could be good mail.
- I don't know. Alright. I'm gonna read this one, Alright. "Hail Crotchduster!"
- Alright.
- Alright! Yeah. "You guys rule, except I don't like the parts of your songs that aren't metal."
- Hmm.
- Uh, "I'm in a band too, we're called Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind." Gay. "We play pulverizing war metal mixed with barbaric hate. We just recorded our first demo and we're gonna take over the world. I sent you a copy, tell me what you think. Satanically yours, Kip -fucking- Benton AKA Hatebringer."
- Alright, Hatebringer.
- Alright.
- Cain, put that CD in the CD player.
*song*
- Wow, that's uh, that's really bad.
- Alright, get it, turn it off. Wanna write back to him?
- Sure.
- Alright. Write it up.
- Here we go. 'Dear Kip, you worthless retard. You should maybe take up pottery or perhaps woodworking, cause your band sucks. After the first 10 seconds, Cain threw up twice, so we burned your CD and buried the ashes in the yard. It sounded like it was recorded in mono into a boombox that was inside a metal trash can. Furthermore, everybody knows that black metal is for geeks that aren't even cool enough to play Dungeons & Dragons. You and your pals couldn't take over an elementary school, let alone the world. No one's afraid of guys who wear makeup. Please never listen to our album again, we are embarassed that you like us. Love, Crotchduster.' Wow, that was uh, an unpleasant first letter.
- What a dick! Here, here's another one.
- What else do we got? Alright. Hmm, nice handwriting. "Dear Crotchduster," Ah. "I am a girl." Should I even read any further?
- Yeah, go ahead, finish it.
- "I find your music to be very offensive. I don't think you realize how much getting penetrated anally hurts. I think you guys could be really funny if you'd stop singing about women in such degrading ways. Sincerely, Jennifer." 'Dear Jennifer, shut up. That's what your man would tell you if you weren't a lumberjack-looking dyke. Jenny, a woman's job consists of anal, swallowing loads and shutting up. It says so in the Bible. P.S.: could you send us some lesbo pictures? Love, Crotchduster.' Another satisfying fan, I guess.
- Alright, here's another one. It's from Andy, alright?
- Hey, this one's for Cain!
- Hey, you hear that?
- Cain, you're getting mailed, buddy!
- Take that shit! "Dear Cain, you guys must make a shitload of money cause you're so fucking brilliant."
- That's true.
- Uh-huh. "So I was just wondering, do Fornicus and Slippery Jim split the money with you or do they hog it all to themselves? Your biggest fan, Andy."
- Alright, Andy, that's a legitimate question.
- You wanna answer in behalf of Cain?
- Yeah, I think, I think I know what Cain would say.
- Alright.
- Let me just write this down. Cain, does this look right to you? Alright. 'Dear Andy, since I'm a dog, I really don't have a need for money. However, Fornicus and Slippery Jim are not stingy when it comes to getting me what I need. For instance, while they're doing coke off hookers' asses backstage, they spread peanut butter Peter Pan (smooth of course, not crunchy) on her pussy and let me lick it off. Plus, they allow me to bite whoever I want, so it's a win-win situation. Love, Cain.' Alright!
- Cain is so fucking hot!
- That uh, that was a good letter.
- It was a good letter!
- Alright, here's another one.
- Who's it from?
- From Rick.
- Alright, let's hear it.
- Alright. "Dear Crotchduster, you guys are dicks. I tried to get you to sign my CD backstage when you were in Dallas, Texas, but you were too busy doing coke off hookers' asses and letting Cain lick peanut butter off their cunts to even glance at me. Except for Cain, who fucking bit me. Fuck off. I threw away all my Crotchduster shit, my new favorite band is Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind. They care about their fans, man. I hope you guys die, Rick." Wow, Rick!
- Hahahaha, alright. Alright, I'll tell Rick how it is. 'Dear Rick, you're their only fucking fan. Plus Cain only bites people who are stupid. Would you like me to interrupt you while you were doing drugs off from the body of a hot naked chick? Don't think so! Why do you want your CD signed anyway? So you can sell it on Ebay and get rich off all the hard work we've done? You're a dick! And Cain says you taste gay, dogs can tell that sorta thing, asshole. Fuck the hell off. Crotchduster.'
- Wow. Maybe we should leave a note for the mailman too, uh, to kinda sift through our mail. Alright, we got one more, you want it or you want me to read it?
- You, you do the whole fuckin' shindig.
- Alright.
- Alright.
- "Dear Crotchduster, I'm a girl from South Carolina." Alright. "I'm hot, picture enclosed." Where is that picture. Wow, she is hot! "And I love to be fucked silly from every direction. I also love to have dogs eat my box. Could you please send me a free CD? Love, Christine."
- 'Dear Christine, we are currently on our way to hand-deliver you a copy of our CD Big Fat Box of Shit. You are our favorite fan. Love, Crotchduster.'
- Alright.
- Alright!


We hope that you enjoyed this
Crotchduster album
We hope that you like singing along
Right now we're really busy
Working on the next one
This time with help from Doctor Bronze

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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2496
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:17 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/B ... _Time/4737
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/B ... ime/597053

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/426h24yqyz2jc/
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the devil is very old indeed, we sit with a few stories to tell

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AndromedaVessel
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:10 am
Posts: 87
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2020 6:33 pm 
 

aloof wrote:


Done.

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aloof
avant-gardener

Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:18 pm
Posts: 2496
Location: never neverland, palm trees by the sea
PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:15 am 
 

thank you :)
_________________
the devil is very old indeed, we sit with a few stories to tell

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