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Zodijackyl
Has psudo-intelligence

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7280
Location: Longmont Potion Castle
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 9:52 pm 
 

AboveTheThrone wrote:
Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something.


:lol:
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TheConqueror1 wrote:
I think it shows that Zodijackyl has psudo-intelligence.

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5579
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 9:54 pm 
 

why wrote:
It sure feels like it for about 15 seconds but then the complete shame for even being alive sets back in.
Don't let daddy kiss me.


That kinda reminds me of the best pick-up line I've ever used.

"Hey if you're ready for the worst three minutes of your life let's do this."
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It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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AboveTheThrone
Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:56 pm
Posts: 689
Location: Cleveland, OH, USA
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 9:59 pm 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
AboveTheThrone wrote:
Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something.


:lol:

Not sure what's funny about that. Online dating is different from talking to women in person. It's harder to gauge someone's true character through text, alone.

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Festivus
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:26 pm
Posts: 1310
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:12 pm 
 

Do people actually use pick up lines? Because most of the mare so terrible that there's no way that they can lead to success.
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theposega
Mezla

Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:42 pm
Posts: 5069
Location: Neo-Allegheny City
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:15 pm 
 

I don't know, man. I can only imagine "Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you" leading to one roping heavy into a woman.
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Turd Blaster
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:48 pm
Posts: 232
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:20 pm 
 

They're definitely a dying art. I guess what's common now is to basically go for the equivalent of a boxing sequence of 'jab, jab, haymaker'. Reminds me of a Tinder screenshot I saw the other day:
A: "how much does a polar bear weigh?"
B: "enough to break the ice? Haha"
A: "actually they average about 982 pounds"
A: "so you into having your ass eaten?"
Shit along those lines apparently either kills or bombs :-D
theposega wrote:
I don't know, man. I can only imagine "Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you" leading to one roping heavy into a woman.

Fuckin hell man lmao
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 26524
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 1:46 am 
 

AboveTheThrone wrote:
Trust me -- I've done a lot of online dating and whatnot and I can tell when a chick is trying to use me for something.


Everyone thinks they're good at picking up on things like that. Everyone thinks they're clever and better than most at something.
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13888
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 1:49 am 
 

theposega wrote:
"Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you"

You're quite the straight-talker, aren't you? ;)
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 9285
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:01 am 
 

AboveTheThrone can of course do as he wishes; injuries are the leading cause of humans' learning processes, after all.

However.... ahem.

- Most people who claim that their ex is a psycho are actually worse themselves. If someone has spent enough time with someone else to have kids with the other person, they are either gullible and disgusting idiots, or labeling the ex psycho is a post de facto kind of display of resentment and regret. Such people are usually BAD relationship material, and preparing for being labelled a psycho afterwards is something worth preparing for in advance. Also, a reasonable person does not bash an ex in an insane manner. There might be criticism, but saying someone is a psycho and dwelling on that is a sign of a goofy person.
- Sex is yummy. Occasionally, very very yummy, better than pizza with caviar and Parma ham on it with a 9%ABV beer. However, if a woman says she likes sex several times a day, it's not quite as reliable evidence of a future filled with joyous carnal gymnastics seven times a day as it might appear. Especially with kids in the house. Just take it from someone with experience.
- Kids are a hassle, and depending on their ages, you would be well advised to expect a heavy emotional backlash from them, if your plan is to replace their father as a live-in grownup within six months of their parents' separation. No, a pound of candy and a carnival ride does not quite patch that. And no, I do not believe the father was quite bad enough to make them see any adult as a saviour and a safe haven that can immediately start fornicating with their mom as a payment for the security services. More likely, assuming the mother's tales have a fragment of truth in them, they will be sharing the bed with her for the foreseeable future.
- No, you're not going to get sex several times a day after day three.
- You're actually being used as something that is called a "pomppulauta" or "springboard" in Finnish. She needs to get out and regain her feet, and getting out is easier with someone with a bit of funds and visible security as a safety net. She might even think she's serious with you and believe the story herself, but you will most likely end up being used for up to four months, and then hear the traditional "I don't think this will really work out" comedy routine.
- A dead baby? Sheesh... I have no words, no experience, and no wish to even think about the consequences, reasons and effects this might have on her and her life.

Do as you wish, but there's a scent of a toxic asset lingering in the air.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8175
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:42 am 
 

God, I'm so glad I met my girlfriend in real life so I can at least pretend to be a normal, functioning human.
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2343
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:02 am 
 

Acrobat wrote:
God, I'm so glad I met my girlfriend in real life so I can at least pretend to be a normal, functioning human.


:(

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Sepulchrave
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:29 pm
Posts: 1545
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:47 am 
 

why wrote:
Moving close to her might be a different story, but all in all I'd cut connections now and look for unmarried people without children (dead or otherwise) who lurk in libraries and watch Adventure Time.


*blush*
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Ку.

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AboveTheThrone
Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:56 pm
Posts: 689
Location: Cleveland, OH, USA
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:48 am 
 

One last post on the situation:

Spoiler: show
I see where everyone is coming from, believe me. I've always pretty much avoided women with kids when it comes to dating, and I know I probably made the situation sound a lot worse than it really is. I only seriously considered an actual relationship with her for the first time yesterday, and I guess I was curious to see if others thought it'd be a dick move for me to dump her now while she's in the middle of all that shit. I feel bad that I might have unintentionally led her on for so long but oh, well.


As far as her narrative about her husband: it's true. She's been sending me screenshots of her conversations with friends/family about him. She just realized that he was a literal 40 year-old virgin when they first met. She got pregnant with her first kid, and they decided to get married. The husband clearly had serious confidence/self-esteem issues because of his lack of sex experience, and so their marriage was pretty much doomed from the start. He has always worked a lot, and would ignore her and verbally abuse her. They started talking about divorce early on, and he has physically hit her more than once (he threw her down and choked her the last time, and stole her phone so she couldn't call the cops). He completely fucked his life up due to gambling and just dumbass financial decisions, forcing her to sell her own car and have to stay home with the kids all the time.

I wasn't kidding about her husband being a legit psychopath. He has no friends, he's extremely controlling, emotionally/physically abusive, etc. That's why I know she isn't using me. She legitimately needs a normal dude in her life right now, which is why I thought the friends-with-benefits thing would be perfect for both of us.

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 9285
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:33 am 
 

One last reminder: you getting sex in exchange for providing her support until she can get her crap in order does not really count as "friends with benefits" situation. There's another word for it.

Also remember that you've only heard one side of the story. The more messed up one side of a situation sounds, the more likely it is to be horrible from the other perspective, too. Screencaps or not.
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Chest wounds suck (when properly inflicted).
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 12390
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:25 pm 
 

Napero, don't forget that AboveTheThrone is unemployed right now. Is exchanging services for other services still prostitution? Can barter count as foreplay?
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AboveTheThrone
Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:56 pm
Posts: 689
Location: Cleveland, OH, USA
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:40 pm 
 

I'm not using her. She was the one who kept the dialogue going this whole time. I was helping her because I'm worried about her and she keeps begging for me to fuck her after I sent her dick pics (at her request). Call it what you will, but there's an obvious tone of bitterness in your repeated attacks against me.

Edit: This was geared towards failsafeman, not Napero.


Last edited by AboveTheThrone on Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5174
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:46 pm 
 

Yeah, perhaps it's best if we all tone down the snark a bit.

In any case, let him make his own mistakes and learn from them.
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11151
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:46 pm 
 

He's Finnish. He and the rest of the nation are wrapped in a many-layered aura of finely crafted, age-tempered bitterness!
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5579
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:42 pm 
 

AboveTheThrone wrote:
I'm not using her. She was the one who kept the dialogue going this whole time. I was helping her because I'm worried about her and she keeps begging for me to fuck her after I sent her dick pics (at her request). Call it what you will, but there's an obvious tone of bitterness in your repeated attacks against me.


And this doesn't strike you as at all odd? And not to be a dick here, but it sounds like you're unhealthily attached to this woman far too quickly.
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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AboveTheThrone
Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:56 pm
Posts: 689
Location: Cleveland, OH, USA
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:50 pm 
 

I know it looks that way. I'm mostly just worried about her, really. Her husband seems batshit crazy and he's acting like he's in denial that she's leaving him, plus he does have a history of abusing her. I'm just trying to help her get out of there for now.

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5579
Location: Schaumburg, Il
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:56 pm 
 

See normally I would applaud you for sticking by this girl and helping her through a shitty situation, that's a very tough thing to do.

But. You're bumping uglies with her. So sorry but this is just bad.
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Man is truly a wretched thing, and the forest is committed to expunging him from existence.

Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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AboveTheThrone
Village Idiot

Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:56 pm
Posts: 689
Location: Cleveland, OH, USA
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:02 pm 
 

It wasn't my plan, though. I didn't realize how bad shit was for her until after we did that, and I wasn't planning on actually meeting her until a few days ago. In all seriousness, though, she constantly complains about her sex life being "ridiculous" for the past four years and it sounded like she just wanted to hook up. But in any case, I'm just gonna help her until she's more stable.

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Zodijackyl
Has psudo-intelligence

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7280
Location: Longmont Potion Castle
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:17 pm 
 

AboveTheThrone wrote:
I wasn't planning on actually meeting her until a few days ago.

AboveTheThrone wrote:
she already wants me to move in with her.

AboveTheThrone wrote:
I know it sounds like a bad idea, I thought so at first, too
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TheConqueror1 wrote:
I think it shows that Zodijackyl has psudo-intelligence.

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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 8872
Location: Elgin, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:18 pm 
 

Listen, Spiderman, you have zero responsibility to put yourself in an obvious powder keg just because you're trying to convince yourself that you're doing this insanely stupid thing purely for the warm and fuzzies of helping out a poor wilting flower, while simultaneously humblebragging about how often she likes to fuck and HOORAY THAT MEANS I'LL GET TO FUCK TOO IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME HOORAY! I don't care how shitty your current situation is, I don't care how bad she says hers is, I can guaran-goddamn-tee you it'll only get worse if you go through with something this blatantly shortsighted. Oh gee she has an abusive boyfriend/husband she hasn't even broken up with yet but I'm going to swoop right the hell in and steal her and move in with her and doink her all the time and it's gonna be great! You're trying to play White Knight, and you're chasing a Siren Song directly into the dragon's lair, completely unequipped and unprepared because you think walking into the tower and sweeping the princess off her feet is going to be 1000000x easier than it actually is. Plus there's kids involved? Did you stop to think for one fucking attosecond what this could do to them? Do you think suddenly replacing their father is going to go off without a hitch? Do you think they have any idea what you're planning? Do you think they have any idea there's any abuse even happening? If they do, do you think they're going to trust you one iota? No, you're using your penis as a dowsing rod and giddily sprinting pelvis first into a fucking volcano.

I'm not going to be as nice as others here, and I've seen that you're obviously not listening to anything resembling reason here, but this is pants-on-head-retarded and you need to understand how stupid this is. Knock it off.
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