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Methuen
Metalhead

Joined: Tue May 19, 2015 4:55 pm
Posts: 1857
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 4:20 am 
 

BirthOfDisease wrote:
I have no idea if this has been posted, but...
My god. Just... it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And I'm 100% certain he can't say *a certain word I can't repeat in all good conscience*, as I'm sure he's Indian and not a black dude.


That is gloriously bad. Emo-screamo-rap-creeping-on-young-girl-core.

The guy looks about thirty, looking like the Mad Max version of Fall Out Boy, and chasing some kid in his video ?

Yes officer, that one over there, with the daft hair.
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darkeningday
xXdArKenIngDayXx

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 5671
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2020 5:59 am 
 

This music video is so bad the comments are actually really good.
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ambientsorrow wrote:
Pretty rubbish, I must say. Certainly not worth the hype behind it. Boring and predictable. A band for 14-22 year olds.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:50 am 
 

GOOD LORD


How was this fucking genre so popular in the early 2000s??

I mean I KNOW why. I've been writing whole essays about the Douche Age circa 1996-2004 and all its unrelenting frat boy awfulness, but I still can't believe we allowed rock music to degenerate this badly


Last edited by Yuli Ban on Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Turner
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 2:04 am
Posts: 2225
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:52 am 
 

If Skinlab is the worst thing you've ever heard, man you're nice and sheltered

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 12:53 am 
 

Turner wrote:
If Skinlab is the worst thing you've ever heard, man you're nice and sheltered

Oh it's FAR from the worst thing. And even if it was, Skinlab doesn't deserve to be called such; they're not worth it. Aggressively mediocre angstlord nü metal pisses me off more because I know people listen to this and think this represents metal music.

It's just shocking how shit mainstream rock managed to become even by the standards of mainstream rock
I'm perennially fascinated by the Douche Age almost for that reason alone.

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 1:35 am 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
GOOD LORD

The vocals on this actually made me want to throw up.
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Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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Burnyoursins
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:59 am
Posts: 1167
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 1:38 am 
 

I mean... It's pretty bad, but it's certainly no Raven in the Courtyard.

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The_Beast_in_Black wrote:
SleightOfVickonomy wrote:
...no one still knows what it's supposed to be about.

Well, I reckon there's a pretty good chance it'll be about gory tits.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 2:17 am 
 

Burnyoursins wrote:
I mean... It's pretty bad, but it's certainly no Raven in the Courtyard.



Atrocious vocals, instruments peeling off the mixing like a scab, a mistake left in as a guitar solo, out of time drum work, and crusty 2006-era YouTube audio bitrates make me feel all warm inside just in time for winter. What's sad is that I can hear a good song hiding in there. The riffs aren't bad in concept, just execution. The verse's riff is even pretty catchy. If it were tighter, with soaring power metal or trad metal vocals— and an actual band behind it— you might get a decent song going.

Unlike this.
Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Yuli Ban wrote:
GOOD LORD

The vocals on this actually made me want to throw up.

This is a professionally produced song; this is what they intended to make and they succeeded.
The sad thing is, I discovered this by searching the archives. Yeah. Apparently Skinlab actually made a metal album or two, the bastards.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9785
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 9:24 pm 
 

I mean, that Skinlab song wasn't good, but it's not offensively terrible. There are MUCH worse bands you could choose from to highlight the absolute nadir of the whole groovecore/nu metal thing than them.
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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:22 pm 
 

Yeah, I'm aware that there are worse bands and songs. What makes me angry about Skinlab is how turbo-mediocre they are. In some ways, that's worse than offensively terrible music like Limp Bizkit's unfortunate cover of Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Vanilla Ice's unfortunate nü metal album, Hollywood Undead's unfortunate career, or whatever Crazy Town was. There's nothing memorable or interesting about them except how try-hard they are or how sad that Skinlab fan "Revolting Hotline" was to listen to.

This track just stands out because he's not even whining on key.


I need to stop listening to nü metal.


Last edited by Yuli Ban on Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2020 11:30 pm 
 

Awwwwwww!



Image

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2020 10:43 pm 
 

There was something viscerally disgusting about this


A bunch of rich people tunelessly covering a utopian track about an anarchocommunist world, essentially making the entire ordeal about themselves and some milquetoast "message" of getting through a crisis and helping the world by singing a song. Some of them are having fun with it, but for the most part it's a bid to remain relevant.

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:20 pm 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
This track just stands out because he's not even whining on key.[/b]

He was quite in tune, actually. He just sounds like Kurt Cobain aged 30 years, held his nose, and sang with all the emotion of a clam full of Botox.
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Svarthavid wrote:
Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9785
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:47 am 
 

My wife showed me that "Imagine" video when it first happened, and I forced my way through it with a squint so tight and wound that Clint Eastwood would be jealous. Every single person that participated in that video was, and still is, totally shielded from the real effects of the pandemic by way of their celebrity and the wealth that comes with it. It's tone deaf and out of focus beyond comprehension. Complete performative nonsense from people that will NEVER have real worries in their lives, barring any future drug addiction-related bankruptcies or getting cancelled by Twitter for whatever reason Twitter decides to go after them for.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 2:05 pm 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
There was something viscerally disgusting about this


A bunch of rich people tunelessly covering a utopian track about an anarchocommunist world, essentially making the entire ordeal about themselves and some milquetoast "message" of getting through a crisis and helping the world by singing a song. Some of them are having fun with it, but for the most part it's a bid to remain relevant.

Yeah, it's totally a way to pretend like they actually give a shit. Things like that make me sick.
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Svarthavid wrote:
Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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henkkjelle
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:54 pm
Posts: 4217
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 5:01 pm 
 

I don't think the majority of celebrities that decided to participate in that are just doing it out of vanity and self-importance, and that they're just pretending to care. Yes they're wealthy and insulated from most of the harm caused by the pandemic, but they and their family and friends are still at risk of getting the virus, so I'd imagine they care about the issue.

Yeah it's tone-deaf, but mostly well-meaning, innocuous and easily ignorable. The most offensive part is the awful performance.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29636
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 5:10 pm 
 

That kind of thing is lame but I don't think they had bad intentions; it's just that people that rich are less likely to comprehend the greater struggles faced by those without the resources.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:19 pm 
 

Sometimes I wonder what on earth possesses a human being to create absolute garbage like this. Like, what's the point? I don't detect any satirical intent or anything of the kind anywhere.
(spoiler for gross band name and song title)
Spoiler: show
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Svarthavid wrote:
Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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henkkjelle
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:54 pm
Posts: 4217
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:38 pm 
 

I mean, it's a band called Spermswamp with songs like "Instrumenstrual". The band itself is the joke and everyone is in on it.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:10 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Sometimes I wonder what on earth possesses a human being to create absolute garbage like this. Like, what's the point? I don't detect any satirical intent or anything of the kind anywhere.
(spoiler for gross band name and song title)
Spoiler: show

Sometimes the sheer juvenile boyishness of it can be appealing, but yeah— this is from the mind of someone who never aged past 14 years old and still thinks Family Guy is the funniest thing ever.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:32 pm 
 

This is peak 2006 mediocrity distilled into one stupid saga. I speak no hyperbole: whenever I think of 2006— with its faux-hawks, post-Y2K SSX Tricky-reject "basic" aesthetic, crunk, emo, James Blunt, electro-R&B, Pimp My Ride, Naruto fans brandishing knives, and MySpace— I think of Kevin Federline or, as he was unfortunately known, K-Fed, the one-time husband of Britney Spears. The two were married in a "pimps and hoes" ceremony in 2004, which sets up the mood more perfectly than anything I could write.

He made one of the shittiest professional* albums of the 2000s, if not all time.



Less than 8 hours after his first live concert (which was a catastrophic failure), he got a text message on his Blackberry from B-Spea telling him she was divorcing him. His response? At his second concert, tell all five of his fans to "dance with a freed pimp."




*I have to include that word 'professional' because obviously music made by people who can't even play their instruments, sing properly, keep time, or hold a tune have become punk classics will be objectively worse. It's not the "uncanny valley music" of the Shaggs. But it's definitely disgusting 2006 club pop; so disgusting that it's listed in multiple publications and articles as one of the worst albums ever made. If you can let down Entertainment Weekly so badly that they award you a 0%, you've won 2006.

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2972
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 9:49 pm 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Sometimes I wonder what on earth possesses a human being to create absolute garbage like this. Like, what's the point? I don't detect any satirical intent or anything of the kind anywhere.
(spoiler for gross band name and song title)
Spoiler: show

Sometimes the sheer juvenile boyishness of it can be appealing, but yeah— this is from the mind of someone who never aged past 14 years old and still thinks Family Guy is the funniest thing ever.


Everything I hate about modern goregrind (or whatever genre you call this musical abortion) can be summed up right here.

I'd rather listen to some nutjob from Gulf Coast Florida record fifteen minutes of static every day, as that would honestly have more artistic merit.

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:06 am 
 

Sometimes stuff like that can be kinda funny. Like, I listen to Torsofuck every now and then because, even though it sounds terrible, somehow I can get a chuckle out of it. I love dirty humor just as much as anyone else.

By the way, while we're on the subject, here's a 40-song album full of very noisy noisegrind with all the songs about 5 seconds long and a vocalist that sounds like he's having a very loud bowel movement.

https://rottendefecationofchrist.bandca ... rown-metal
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Svarthavid wrote:
Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2020 6:49 pm 
 

Now THIS is outsider music


I don't mean to antagonize the mentally ill and genuinely incompetent, but I can't in good faith say that the worst music ever made will be any professional effort. It's going to be sounds put together by people who are not "all there," lack the self-awareness to realize this, and genuinely believe that they're making something better than the Beatles.

Edit: Digging even deeper now. As a nerd once said, once you scratch the surface of a turd, it really starts to stink.


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fifimcfeef
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 11:21 pm
Posts: 6
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 5:29 pm 
 



Remember these guys?



Wing is also one of the worst singers I ever heard. When she guest starred on South Park, very people knew she was a real person.

Her voice sounds like Elmo, and she's off-key and off-tune most of the time. Her backing tracks are all MIDI files of popular songs.


Last edited by fifimcfeef on Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2972
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 7:09 pm 
 

What in the mother of Fuck is up with that Etienne Sin guy? Dude wears a Behemoth shirt and you think, okay, this might be kind of good... but, nope, it's not only bad, it's cringeworthy bad. Like all the worst elements of R&B, pop, screamo and metalcore with the worst nauseating cringe lyrics ever. Nergal of Behemoth probably wants to strangle that guy (who, now incidently, is calling himself "Young Rockstar"- even though the dude is probably in his thirties by now) for wearing one of his band shirts.

I've heard worse, believe it or not, but that song is still scraping the barrel.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9785
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 8:31 pm 
 

An Etienne Sin mention? Now I get to post this, the first video of his I saw, all thanks to an old MetalSucks "Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe" article.



There's also this gem, the funniest bad song ever, featuring Vocaloid-esq voice filtering, a balding guitarist, a genuinely, shamefully catchy keyboard line in the main breakdown, and completely unnecessary n-bombs in the chorus.



AND THIS, which is just below the other one for best worst song ever, this time almost entirely because of the vocals.



Postscript, courtesy of this amazing comment from the second video listed:

Quote:
when etienne does high vocals it reminds me of my indian friend where he'd scream in the middle of class for no apparent reason otherwise great screams
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Hexenmacht46290
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:30 pm
Posts: 239
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Feb 23, 2021 5:07 pm 
 

An acoustic version of the crab core song? When I get home from work, I will listen to this, out of morbid curiosity. I think that the song sucks ass, but, if there’s one thing that that whole scene got right, it was their choreography.
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Osmiumthemetal
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 24, 2016 10:30 pm
Posts: 203
PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:30 pm 
 

Burnyoursins wrote:
I mean... It's pretty bad, but it's certainly no Raven in the Courtyard.



Damn. I don't know anything about these guys, but it sounds legitimate like it's supposed to be really offputting-sounding outsider music, basically the equivalent to late 60s freak-out underground rock. That's probably me being naive though.

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Goatfangs
Wicker Mantis

Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:02 pm
Posts: 2679
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 2:33 pm 
 

This may be the worst funeral doom band I ever heard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGEcNqfQeIo
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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2972
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:18 pm 
 

While that wasn't very good, I don't know if I'd call it the "worst" funeral doom band ever; rather it has the same basic flaw I hear over and over again with most bands of that style. Namely, it's very tedious and boring to listen to. The first minute was like, okay, it's got kind of a cool atmosphere and overall vibe to it, but after the second minute I was ready for the song to just be over- and there were six or seven more minutes to go. That style is hard to get right, I think.

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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 146
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2021 1:07 pm 
 

81 million views


81 million views YOU will never have.

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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13526
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:00 am 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
81 million views


81 million views YOU will never have.

The comments on this are gold, though.
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Hexenmacht46290
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:30 pm
Posts: 239
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 10:38 am 
 

Wow. At least the Shaggs had both guitarist/vocalists harmonizing, with just a drummer out of time. That’s worse. The music is all artificial, couldn’t he have just auto tuned(the worst pop trend, song melismatically, or fuck off) everything.

He sounds like someone who just got kicked out of a dive bar, or got done chugging shit vodka, on the main tourist street, right in front of everyone, and realized that he needs money, for shards and heroin, so he decided to sing, hoping for donations. His music also brings to mind the image, of him taking breaks to bum cigarettes off everyone walking by as well.
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Opus
Veteran

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2002 11:06 am
Posts: 3284
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 12:49 pm 
 

Check out our own Swedish Elvis impersonator Eilert Pilarm

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Curious_dead
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2006 12:13 pm
Posts: 666
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 12:58 pm 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
81 million views


81 million views YOU will never have.


I regret adding one to those 81 million views.

I guess maybe some of those views are the CIA using the song as an interrogation technique? It definitely made me want to confess things I've never done so that it would be over sooner.

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 6971
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 1:49 pm 
 

Yuli Ban wrote:
81 million views


81 million views YOU will never have.

That's deep and emotional and all, but it doesn't hold a candle to the legend himself: D4NNY.

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2972
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2021 8:50 pm 
 

That Danny guy seems sort of like an autistic, or special needs type person who got a record deal in one of those "Feel-good stories about following your dream while overcoming incredible challenges," and so on. In other words, I almost hate to rip on the guy, as bad as his music is, because the guy clearly is "special needs" (based on what I've heard anyway) and it's kind of fucked up to rip on guys like that.

That IceJJFish guy on the other hand... that was actually posted on this thread a couple dozen pages back and yeah, I have no idea what's going on there. That's just an otherwise normal guy who clearly cannot sing, but decided for whatever reason to put out a record. Oddly, I've heard legitimate top 40 pop singers who aren't really that much better, even with auto tune (Hello Ke$hia.)

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Hexenmacht46290
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:30 pm
Posts: 239
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 2:44 pm 
 

According to Icejjfish’s Wikipedia page, he quit making hypersexualized R&B, to make Christian gospel music, which makes sense, because that’s where the money is, if you suck ass at music. It also cites multiple articles, referring to him as a “king of R&B.” Compared to what? Does he have what James Brown and Aretha Franklin were missing?

Why can’t he be the one who gets ripped off by record labels, and goes broke?
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Roktan
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:41 pm
Posts: 23
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 8:30 pm 
 

Has anyone seen this? One of the most cringeworthy covers of a song I've ever heard. What's weird is I've heard Wes Scantlin hit the note he keeps failing to hit here just fine, in fact I've heard him hit higher notes. For some reason, on this day, his voice is out of whack and he is straining way too hard. You can see it in his facial expressions.


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