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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 90
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 11:14 am 
 

henkkjelle wrote:
Subrick wrote:
St. Anger is a bad album that has a good album hiding inside of it. That’s about the best way I can describe it.


It's a great way to describe it. Inside it exists a 30 min album of no-nonsense garage-thrash with an appropriately rough production, and it should be Metallica's top priority to remake St-Anger in that image. And don't change a single thing about that snare.

I've always been fascinated by the idea of "garage metal". Taking garage rock and adding more fuzz, lightning, and frenetic metal riffs sounds like a winning combination, even though it would probably get a cheesy name like "scrap metal".
St. Anger isn't even that far from what I'd imagine a "garage metal" album to be like, if only it had better presentation and wild guitar solos. You know, something like Cactus's 1970 demo of "Rumblin Man"

Probably the shittiest-sounding song you'll hear all day, but that's what makes it work so damn well. It's too raw (and the version with actual bass is probably the heaviest song of that decade).



In terms of actual defecation:


:ugh:

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10813
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 3:10 pm 
 

I think if you cut the length of St Anger in half, the result wouldn't be far from Octagon - though that one is too long for its own good, too.
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 867
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:56 pm 
 

This thread has got me thinking. It seems that most of the worst songs I can name are well-known pop songs.
Christopher Bowes' solo project shouldn't go without a mention, but it is at least comically bad, which likely makes it better than any of the songs listed below.

    Ed Sheeran - Shape of You: really bad
    Justin Bieber - Baby: a disgrace to the world of music
    Rebecca Black - Friday: so bad that it went viral for it
    [forgotten artist] - What Does the Fox Say?: unbelievably stupid
    [forgotten artist] - Gucci Gang: simply appalling in terms of BOTH music and lyrics
    White Stripes - Seven Nation Army: perhaps an odd choice to list, but that riff is mind-numbingly repetitive, the song is not very technically advanced

The absolute worst song I have ever heard in my life, though, is a song I heard once in my sister's car. I think it would actually be difficult to compose something worse if you tried.

https://youtu.be/m0EiujcV3Tg
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simonitro
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:41 pm
Posts: 399
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 10:30 pm 
 

hots_towel wrote:
here's a fun little challenge. How long can you listen to this before you even smirk? I made it less than 10 seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YHgHO8im2s&t=77s


I know this is from 3 years ago but when did Popeye have decided to become a black metal vocalist sometime in his career???


Last edited by simonitro on Fri Nov 15, 2019 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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LycanthropeMoon
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:53 pm
Posts: 1019
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2019 10:59 pm 
 

Touch my bum.
This is life.


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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 867
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:13 am 
 

LycanthropeMoon wrote:
Touch my bum.
This is life.


Oh goodness. Forgot about that song. It definitely comes close to taking the cake.
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vacca wrote:
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29058
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:15 am 
 

Midnightwards666 wrote:
White Stripes - Seven Nation Army: perhaps an odd choice to list, but that riff is mind-numbingly repetitive, the song is not very technically advanced[/list]


Is being technically advanced what it was going for? Or required for good music?
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 867
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 10:09 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Midnightwards666 wrote:
White Stripes - Seven Nation Army: perhaps an odd choice to list, but that riff is mind-numbingly repetitive, the song is not very technically advanced[/list]


Is being technically advanced what it was going for? Or required for good music?

Re: the first question, definitely not. I wouldn't say it's required to make a song "good" and is not required in the slightest for music to be liked, but I personally consider it one of the factors. There are genres of music I despise listening to as much as the songs I listed, but if it requires great skill for the musicians to play it, that is at least something to appreciate... so as much as I dislike the music, I wouldn't call it bad music.

One could argue that even the most despisable of today's pop songs are not "rubbish", as their purpose is simply to be a product that sells, and they do a good job of that. If we put selling aside, such songs are certainly on my list of the worst.
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29058
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 11:01 am 
 

Well taste will be taste. Fair enough I suppose. That song is amazing to me and the album Elephant is a desert island album for me. I like that kind of low-fi bluesy stuff.
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 867
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 7:56 pm 
 

What makes a song good or bad is an endless debate, even when we try to put taste aside. I had my flamesuit prepared when I mentioned that track.
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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CrazyCory
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:03 am
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:34 am 
 

Midnightwards666 wrote:
What makes a song good or bad is an endless debate, even when we try to put taste aside. I had my flamesuit prepared when I mentioned that track.


Agreed, music is not a competition.

When I play guitar, I do not want others to deem my music as 'winning or losing' against another piece of music; I want others to listen to it and be taken to the same place in their minds that my favorite music takes me.

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2878
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Dec 01, 2019 6:18 pm 
 

That riff of "Seven Nation Army" has to be the most overplayed thing in the universe. You even hear it at sporting events all the time now, and it's gotten super annoying.

With that said, I originally, way back when, really liked that song, and that whole album. Yeah, sure the White Stripes didn't exactly overload their music with technique or intricate skills, but they did manage to come up with some pretty raw, catchy riffs now and again- that being one of them. But yeah, now I'm pretty sick of hearing it.

Still better than lo-skills auto-tune pop music you hear everywhere now. The kind where they take any average guy off the street and give him a record contract, put his face on the cover, (with the obligatory blingy jewelry and clothing) and just autotune the fuck out of his vocals to make it sound "Sexy" or whatever.

I've found that I can't really hate on Justin Bieber. Back then, he was just a kid, making music for young kids. And he at least had some measurable vocal talent, unlike a lot of pop singers. It would be like hating on Sesame Street because you're too old to appreciate songs about letters and numbers.

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 867
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Dec 01, 2019 10:48 pm 
 

The song Baby by Justin Bieber is the only one I know of his. Although it made it to my list of songs close to my worst, I have heard from various people that he is capable of better. I think many of the artists responsible for the world's worst songs are, in fact.
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darkeningday
xXdArKenIngDayXx

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 5595
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 12:36 am 
 

ALL OTHER SONGS IN THIS THREAD HAVE NOW BEEN MADE REDUNDANT

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Pretty rubbish, I must say. Certainly not worth the hype behind it. Boring and predictable. A band for 14-22 year olds.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9576
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2019 7:37 pm 
 

Best comment:

Quote:
this video told me to go back to my country
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Unorthodox
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:08 pm
Posts: 2202
PostPosted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 5:29 pm 
 

There was a dish washer at my work a few months back that unironically recommended Mini Thin when I asked him if he listened to rap. He was a pretty nice dude actually, but was super redneck, basically looked like all the people in this video.
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10813
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2019 7:10 am 
 

Music recommendations from my dishwasher are usually limited to stuff like Merzbow.
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Yuli Ban
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:07 am
Posts: 90
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 2:39 am 
 



My expectations were so low upon seeing the title, you'd have to go to the Challenger Deep just to find them.
Somehow, it still managed to fail to reach them
I'm actually in shock

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Gravetemplar
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:08 am
Posts: 2158
Location: Antarctica
PostPosted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 8:50 pm 
 

henkkjelle wrote:
Subrick wrote:
St. Anger is a bad album that has a good album hiding inside of it. That’s about the best way I can describe it.


It's a great way to describe it. Inside it exists a 30 min album of no-nonsense garage-thrash with an appropriately rough production, and it should be Metallica's top priority to remake St-Anger in that image. And don't change a single thing about that snare.

Amen. St. Anger has great riffs and I don't really hate the sound that much. If it was 40 minutes it could be great.

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Lane
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:54 am
Posts: 477
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 6:36 am 
 

For some unexplained reason, Youtube presented me Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda' video.

It shows what a big part of modern pop music is: No songwriting.

It also shows what's more important than music: Objectifying females.

I didn't see it fully, so I'm not going to comment on its possible Illuminati imagery... :lol:

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l Lunaris l
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:14 pm
Posts: 101
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2020 11:57 am 
 

A lot of my top picks are already listed here, of course. And a lot of the time I don't remember the names of specific songs or artists, I just remember hearing some real bad stuff.

Ascension Millennium by Corey Feldman is really... interesting, I'll say. And you GOTTA watch the music video if you listen to it, it just adds to the experience. That whole album is quite a ride, actually. But I'm sure the rest of internet has told you that as well. Fun fact, when I first saw the title, I thought it was supposed to be "Angelic 2: The Core" and I was confused as to why he made sequel to an album that didn't exist. When I realized the "2" literally just stood in the place of "to" the comedic effect of the album's very existence was heightened.

Saint Anger just makes me kinda sad. Like the others here have said, there's a good album hidden in there. It could've been so much more than it is and a solid addition to Metallica's super spotty discography. I still enjoy it anyways, personally, but I feel it really sums up post-black album Metallica: a sad mess of wasted potential.
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Substantia_Nigrae
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:42 am
Posts: 254
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:47 am 
 

Everybody just stop!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BplsGX5eLLo

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2878
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:23 pm 
 

Substantia_Nigrae wrote:


A Russian, or Turkish, or whatever, gender bending whatthefuck. Hmmm, Yeah, that clearly isn't for me. I suppose it would be moderately tolerable without the video, or maybe if I was (whatever the proper respectful term is nowadays) GLBT. But as it is...nope. Can't watch it.

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ertooso
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun May 12, 2019 3:55 am
Posts: 1
Location: Barbados
PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 4:17 am 
 

That song with a girl whining "I know what boys like, I know what guys want" It comes on a lot at my gym which plays the worst radio station possible. Usually I have headphones on, but they still have music in the locker room too, not only is it awkward, but it makes me feel physically weak. I was working out with my wife the other day so neither of us had headphones when the song came on and it was like a moment of clarity when I told her "This is literally THE worst song EVER"

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Lane
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:54 am
Posts: 477
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2020 2:38 am 
 

I just cannot understand this kind of stuff, mixing pop and hip hop stuff. It's HUGE here in Finland these days. I don't know what happened to catchiness in pop anyway...


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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3609
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2020 4:20 pm 
 



Gunna's 'Speed It Up' is so awful it feels like a parody of some sort; but in fact it's entirely sincere.

Look, don't get me wrong here - I like hip hop, including modern stuff like this. I like what you could call 'mumble rap', I like trap and cloud rap and what not, and I like what you could call 'non-lyrical' hip hop that focuses more on feeling, energy, directness, the sound of the voice, the sound and vibe of the instrumental, catchy hooks and memorable ad-libs instead of lyricism and technical ability. It caters to a different musical need compared to say Biggie or Public Enemy or Kendrick Lamar; it shoots for different feelings and sounds that you don't get from more lyrical hip hop, and as such you listen to it differently too. An artist like Young Thug, who Gunna so obviously tries to ape, is a standout and a pioneer across hip hop's 40+ year history, in my view.

This though exemplifies everything wrong with the new wave, and I imagine it's what oldheads hear when they listen to anything in this field. The lyrics aren't even bad because there barely are any lyrics; Gunna does almost nothing across this song. It's as if it's JUST ad-libs and he forgot to write the verses, and even artists like Playboi Carti that make ad-lib heavy, super simplified music don't do this little over a beat (far from it in fact.) The beat is okay but nothing incredible that you can soak in, and Gunna's voice as ever is entirely drab; lacking in energy, range and emotion. To call him a Young Thug clone is an insult to Young Thug. There's no feeling you can derive from his voice or the beat, there's no catchy lyrics or vocal melodies, in fact there is literally nothing standout in a positive sense about it at all. It is total drivel that is entirely deserving of the usual criticisms of this wave of hip hop; it's effortless, dumbed down, meaningless and shallow.
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Required Fields
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:32 pm
Posts: 811
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:57 am 
 

The cringe meter is off the charts here:
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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3609
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:16 pm 
 

Saw Todd in the Shadows' video on that album too? Yeah that's an abysmal album and that song is no exception.
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Timeghoul
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:00 pm
Posts: 418
Location: Hello from the gutter
PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:19 pm 
 

Maybe I’m getting old, but I can’t see how someone can sit around and enjoy this. I believe the stuff like this by him is just a novelty. Someone wants everyone to see how cool they are, listening to this.

https://youtu.be/jkDd1DyPzlU
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PinkSatan
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2020 2:06 am
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2020 2:11 am 
 

Slipknot Discography

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Oxenkiller
Veteran

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2878
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2020 3:32 pm 
 

Merzbow isn't really my thing either but at least I can understand what he is trying to do there. It's obviously not music in the conventional sense, but it's interesting- maybe not in a good way but at least he's trying to be artistic. In other words, I have more respect for his stuff than I do for your typical garbage autotune pop and poorly written mainstream rock/metal a la Slipknot. Even thought I would probably prefer not to listen to either.

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Gravetemplar
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:08 am
Posts: 2158
Location: Antarctica
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2020 6:37 pm 
 

Merzbow is a werid one because I'm really into drone/noise/power electronics and I still think most of what he does has no value at all.

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Timeghoul
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:00 pm
Posts: 418
Location: Hello from the gutter
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:48 pm 
 

Here’s a real piece of shit. The first song off of the Clash - Cut the Crap. This is a ducking mess of a song.

https://youtu.be/SC61BdLbQMg
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Now for a higher level song like Moth Into Flame. I specifically remember getting in trouble at school for hearing this the day it was released for having my phone out and then defiantly saying to my teacher Fuck off Im listening to a new Metallica song

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9576
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2020 1:10 am 
 



This song gave me cancer.

EDIT: Was just reminded that this exists a day later, but didn't want to make a new post.

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Napalm_Satan
Ever-Opening Flower

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3609
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 5:38 am 
 

Yeah Van Canto are one of the most laughably terrible, cringe-inducing musical acts with any following to ever exist. A ridiculous and dumb idea they don't even go the whole distance with applied to already boring, not good music. You ever seen videos of them performing live? It's transcendent.

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CoconutBackwards
Bullet Centrist

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:02 pm
Posts: 924
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 9:03 am 
 

This is my first time hearing Van Canto and this is peak Nu-Metal beauty.
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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 6894
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:01 pm 
 

Van Canto have a couple really good original songs that would undoubtedly sound way, way better when performed by an actual band.
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BodomSlayer
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:39 am
Posts: 73
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2020 9:45 pm 
 

When I worked at Office Depot there were a few years that we had music playing from artists that were...not good and would never be heard on the radio. It was the worst. Here are one of the worst (I have many more to share, including Holiday Songs):


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BirthOfDisease
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:18 pm
Posts: 56
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2020 6:59 am 
 

I have no idea if this has been posted, but...


My god. Just... it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And I'm 100% certain he can't say *a certain word I can't repeat in all good conscience*, as I'm sure he's Indian and not a black dude.
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Opus
Veteran

Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2002 11:06 am
Posts: 3211
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2020 10:15 am 
 

BodomSlayer wrote:
When I worked at Office Depot there were a few years that we had music playing from artists that were...not good and would never be heard on the radio. It was the worst. Here are one of the worst (I have many more to share, including Holiday Songs):

[youtube]Zoe Boekbinder[/youtube]

This is the true heir to The Shaggs. Everything is just wrong, and it sounds bad.
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