That is gloriously bad. Emo-screamo-rap-creeping-on-young-girl-core.

The guy looks about thirty, looking like the Mad Max version of Fall Out Boy, and chasing some kid in his video ?

Yes officer, that one over there, with the daft hair.

This music video is so bad the comments are actually really good.

GOOD LORD


How was this fucking genre so popular in the early 2000s??

I mean I KNOW why. I've been writing whole essays about the Douche Age circa 1996-2004 and all its unrelenting frat boy awfulness, but I still can't believe we allowed rock music to degenerate this badly

If Skinlab is the worst thing you've ever heard, man you're nice and sheltered

Oh it's FAR from the worst thing. And even if it was, Skinlab doesn't deserve to be called such; they're not worth it. Aggressively mediocre angstlord nü metal pisses me off more because I know people listen to this and think this represents metal music.

It's just shocking how shit mainstream rock managed to become even by the standards of mainstream rock
I'm perennially fascinated by the Douche Age almost for that reason alone.

The vocals on this actually made me want to throw up.

I mean... It's pretty bad, but it's certainly no Raven in the Courtyard.

Atrocious vocals, instruments peeling off the mixing like a scab, a mistake left in as a guitar solo, out of time drum work, and crusty 2006-era YouTube audio bitrates make me feel all warm inside just in time for winter. What's sad is that I can hear a good song hiding in there. The riffs aren't bad in concept, just execution. The verse's riff is even pretty catchy. If it were tighter, with soaring power metal or trad metal vocals— and an actual band behind it— you might get a decent song going.

Unlike this.

This is a professionally produced song; this is what they intended to make and they succeeded.
The sad thing is, I discovered this by searching the archives. Yeah. Apparently Skinlab actually made a metal album or two, the bastards.

I mean, that Skinlab song wasn't good, but it's not offensively terrible. There are MUCH worse bands you could choose from to highlight the absolute nadir of the whole groovecore/nu metal thing than them.

Yeah, I'm aware that there are worse bands and songs. What makes me angry about Skinlab is how turbo-mediocre they are. In some ways, that's worse than offensively terrible music like Limp Bizkit's unfortunate cover of Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Vanilla Ice's unfortunate nü metal album, Hollywood Undead's unfortunate career, or whatever Crazy Town was. There's nothing memorable or interesting about them except how try-hard they are or how sad that Skinlab fan "Revolting Hotline" was to listen to.

This track just stands out because he's not even whining on key.


I need to stop listening to nü metal.

There was something viscerally disgusting about this


A bunch of rich people tunelessly covering a utopian track about an anarchocommunist world, essentially making the entire ordeal about themselves and some milquetoast "message" of getting through a crisis and helping the world by singing a song. Some of them are having fun with it, but for the most part it's a bid to remain relevant.

He was quite in tune, actually. He just sounds like Kurt Cobain aged 30 years, held his nose, and sang with all the emotion of a clam full of Botox.

My wife showed me that "Imagine" video when it first happened, and I forced my way through it with a squint so tight and wound that Clint Eastwood would be jealous. Every single person that participated in that video was, and still is, totally shielded from the real effects of the pandemic by way of their celebrity and the wealth that comes with it. It's tone deaf and out of focus beyond comprehension. Complete performative nonsense from people that will NEVER have real worries in their lives, barring any future drug addiction-related bankruptcies or getting cancelled by Twitter for whatever reason Twitter decides to go after them for.

Yeah, it's totally a way to pretend like they actually give a shit. Things like that make me sick.

I don't think the majority of celebrities that decided to participate in that are just doing it out of vanity and self-importance, and that they're just pretending to care. Yes they're wealthy and insulated from most of the harm caused by the pandemic, but they and their family and friends are still at risk of getting the virus, so I'd imagine they care about the issue.

Yeah it's tone-deaf, but mostly well-meaning, innocuous and easily ignorable. The most offensive part is the awful performance.

That kind of thing is lame but I don't think they had bad intentions; it's just that people that rich are less likely to comprehend the greater struggles faced by those without the resources.

Sometimes I wonder what on earth possesses a human being to create absolute garbage like this. Like, what's the point? I don't detect any satirical intent or anything of the kind anywhere.
(spoiler for gross band name and song title)

I mean, it's a band called Spermswamp with songs like "Instrumenstrual". The band itself is the joke and everyone is in on it.

Sometimes the sheer juvenile boyishness of it can be appealing, but yeah— this is from the mind of someone who never aged past 14 years old and still thinks Family Guy is the funniest thing ever.

This is peak 2006 mediocrity distilled into one stupid saga. I speak no hyperbole: whenever I think of 2006— with its faux-hawks, post-Y2K SSX Tricky-reject "basic" aesthetic, crunk, emo, James Blunt, electro-R&B, Pimp My Ride, Naruto fans brandishing knives, and MySpace— I think of Kevin Federline or, as he was unfortunately known, K-Fed, the one-time husband of Britney Spears. The two were married in a "pimps and hoes" ceremony in 2004, which sets up the mood more perfectly than anything I could write.

He made one of the shittiest professional* albums of the 2000s, if not all time.



Less than 8 hours after his first live concert (which was a catastrophic failure), he got a text message on his Blackberry from B-Spea telling him she was divorcing him. His response? At his second concert, tell all five of his fans to "dance with a freed pimp."




*I have to include that word 'professional' because obviously music made by people who can't even play their instruments, sing properly, keep time, or hold a tune have become punk classics will be objectively worse. It's not the "uncanny valley music" of the Shaggs. But it's definitely disgusting 2006 club pop; so disgusting that it's listed in multiple publications and articles as one of the worst albums ever made. If you can let down Entertainment Weekly so badly that they award you a 0%, you've won 2006.

Everything I hate about modern goregrind (or whatever genre you call this musical abortion) can be summed up right here.

I'd rather listen to some nutjob from Gulf Coast Florida record fifteen minutes of static every day, as that would honestly have more artistic merit.

Sometimes stuff like that can be kinda funny. Like, I listen to Torsofuck every now and then because, even though it sounds terrible, somehow I can get a chuckle out of it. I love dirty humor just as much as anyone else.

By the way, while we're on the subject, here's a 40-song album full of very noisy noisegrind with all the songs about 5 seconds long and a vocalist that sounds like he's having a very loud bowel movement.

https://rottendefecationofchrist.bandca ... rown-metal

Now THIS is outsider music


I don't mean to antagonize the mentally ill and genuinely incompetent, but I can't in good faith say that the worst music ever made will be any professional effort. It's going to be sounds put together by people who are not "all there," lack the self-awareness to realize this, and genuinely believe that they're making something better than the Beatles.

Edit: Digging even deeper now. As a nerd once said, once you scratch the surface of a turd, it really starts to stink.

Remember these guys?



Wing is also one of the worst singers I ever heard. When she guest starred on South Park, very people knew she was a real person.

Her voice sounds like Elmo, and she's off-key and off-tune most of the time. Her backing tracks are all MIDI files of popular songs.

What in the mother of Fuck is up with that Etienne Sin guy? Dude wears a Behemoth shirt and you think, okay, this might be kind of good... but, nope, it's not only bad, it's cringeworthy bad. Like all the worst elements of R&B, pop, screamo and metalcore with the worst nauseating cringe lyrics ever. Nergal of Behemoth probably wants to strangle that guy (who, now incidently, is calling himself "Young Rockstar"- even though the dude is probably in his thirties by now) for wearing one of his band shirts.

I've heard worse, believe it or not, but that song is still scraping the barrel.

An Etienne Sin mention? Now I get to post this, the first video of his I saw, all thanks to an old MetalSucks "Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe" article.



There's also this gem, the funniest bad song ever, featuring Vocaloid-esq voice filtering, a balding guitarist, a genuinely, shamefully catchy keyboard line in the main breakdown, and completely unnecessary n-bombs in the chorus.



AND THIS, which is just below the other one for best worst song ever, this time almost entirely because of the vocals.



Postscript, courtesy of this amazing comment from the second video listed:

An acoustic version of the crab core song? When I get home from work, I will listen to this, out of morbid curiosity. I think that the song sucks ass, but, if there’s one thing that that whole scene got right, it was their choreography.

Damn. I don't know anything about these guys, but it sounds legitimate like it's supposed to be really offputting-sounding outsider music, basically the equivalent to late 60s freak-out underground rock. That's probably me being naive though.

This may be the worst funeral doom band I ever heard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGEcNqfQeIo

While that wasn't very good, I don't know if I'd call it the "worst" funeral doom band ever; rather it has the same basic flaw I hear over and over again with most bands of that style. Namely, it's very tedious and boring to listen to. The first minute was like, okay, it's got kind of a cool atmosphere and overall vibe to it, but after the second minute I was ready for the song to just be over- and there were six or seven more minutes to go. That style is hard to get right, I think.

81 million views


81 million views YOU will never have.

The comments on this are gold, though.