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Cthulhu_Fhtagn
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:32 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 12:25 am 
 

I'm really surprised this thread hasn't happened yet, considering how popular the metal one is. Same rules as the other, obviously.

Rules from other thread: Images that are NOT SAFE FOR WORK / NSFW need to be labelled and also have spoiler tags
We don't really need 'shock images' just because they are on an album cover: 2 girls 1 cup or tubgirl etc is what I mean
You can expect to be banned for a week or more if you ignore this, hence why it's in red bold.


A few to get this started.
Spoiler: show
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THEMICRULAH wrote:
IT'S THE SAME INVERTED AS REGULAR?! MY BRAIN IS BROKEN! TOTAL SATAN!

Crick wrote:
The first one is silly because it's got such dainty eyelashes, yet the guy is terrified. NOT THE MASCARA, CTHULHU! ANYTHING BUT THE MASCARA!

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TheMizwaOfMuzzyTah
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 1792
Location: the emerald forest
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 2:21 am 
 

That Steve Hillage album is dope as feck and can't be considered a bad cover simply for the fact that there's an electric guitar in the picture.

Not posting any pictures but ones that come to mind...The Walker Brothers 'No Regrets', the second and third Cure album covers were boring, Tull's 'A'....plenty others...

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The Red Snifit
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 6:31 pm
Posts: 374
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 8:59 am 
 

Spoiler: show
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En Esch - Cheesy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheesy_%28album%29

Even by the standards of "nothing but the artist's face" covers it's bad.
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Kveldulfr
Veteran

Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 3698
Location: Nowhere
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 9:29 am 
 

ALL of jazz/prog solo artists have terrible artwork, ALL of them.
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Folkemon_
Veteran

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 2:43 pm
Posts: 2932
Location: Triggered
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 11:02 am 
 

Image


Obligatory
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Cthulhu_Fhtagn
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:32 pm
Posts: 389
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 11:47 am 
 

Kveldulfr wrote:
ALL of jazz/prog solo artists have terrible artwork, ALL of them.

Not to mention Krautrock. Very rarely do I see one with a good album cover that isn't a horrible, ugly mess.
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THEMICRULAH wrote:
IT'S THE SAME INVERTED AS REGULAR?! MY BRAIN IS BROKEN! TOTAL SATAN!

Crick wrote:
The first one is silly because it's got such dainty eyelashes, yet the guy is terrified. NOT THE MASCARA, CTHULHU! ANYTHING BUT THE MASCARA!

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Unity
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:42 pm
Posts: 1443
Location: Portugal
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 1:21 pm 
 

http://www.discogs.com/Prince-Prince/master/22513
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Numerator_41
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:06 am
Posts: 1259
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 1:39 pm 
 

I always thought the cover for Kate Bush's Hounds of Love was really ugly. Not only is the picture itself a bit goofy, but the ugly font choice and decision to place it in the middle of a plain white background baffles me.
Spoiler: show
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Some other not so good ones:
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I'm not sure I understand Kveldulfr's comment. There's a lot of good jazz artwork and even the albums that just have photographs of the musicians are typically inoffensive.
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Kveldulfr
Veteran

Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:01 pm
Posts: 3698
Location: Nowhere
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 1:50 pm 
 

Numerator_41 wrote:

I'm not sure I understand Kveldulfr's comment. There's a lot of good jazz artwork and even the albums that just have photographs of the musicians are typically inoffensive.


Most of them are either terrible or utterly boring shit:

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Numerator_41
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:06 am
Posts: 1259
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 2:03 pm 
 

Alright, yeah, that's pretty fucking horrendous. I was thinking more of older stuff like this:

Spoiler: show
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SatanSmells wrote:
FUKK YOU WHO FUKKING KARES

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DoomMetalAlchemist
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 1629
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 2:14 pm 
 

Cartoon SSBBW nudity (if you don't know what SSBBW means, google it. :P):

Birth Control - Hoodoo Man
Spoiler: show
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Kai Hansen named his current band after one of the songs from this album, as well as covered said song on the Insanity & Genius album.

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Rosenthorn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 11, 2013 8:51 pm
Posts: 384
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2016 4:05 am 
 

Image

Sorry, this one is awesome. I agree that all the others are pretty atrocious, though.
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MorbidEngel
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 9:37 pm
Posts: 889
Location: New Jersey
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:19 pm 
 

Image
That guitar is so bad, everything else looks janky as hell
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Back Stabbath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:15 am
Posts: 402
Location: Terra Nullius
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 8:48 am 
 

Excellent thread already. I have so much to give. Internet does not comply with loading or uploading times currently, but what I can provide if I didn't live in Australia (we have VERY SLOW net here) will make many porngrind fans blush.
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DLF W19

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AllPurposeCulturalCatgirlPutin
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:42 pm
Posts: 160
PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 9:09 am 
 

Two words: The Fall

Too many to embed, so here's some links.


Oddly The Cure got a bit "Fallish" with some of their [awful] 90s albums too. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/The_Cure_-_Wild_Mood_Swings.jpg

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Oxenkiller
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 9:06 pm 
 

there was that list of the "Ten Worst Album Covers of All Time" that was floating around the internet a few years ago. That Ken Snider album above was on that list, along with a bunch of obligatory bad 60's gospel singers in matching plaid polyester, and...

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...this atrocity. I almost feel sorry for this guy, with all the creepy dudes that probably hit on him afterwards. Almost.

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Here are some of Tino's fans.

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chaossphere
Metal Lunatic

Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 11:49 pm
Posts: 2578
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:19 pm 
 

To be honest this thread seems a tad redundant. Metal and hard rock has generally been the only genre where it's common for any real effort to be put into album covers, most pop/country/rap/soul/jazz/blues/classical/whatever covers are usually very shoddy and half-assed. If anything it would make more sense to have a thread for good non-metal album covers, because they're as rare as rocking-horse shit :lol:
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ironmaidens_666
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:37 am
Posts: 282
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 10:09 am 
 

The terrified look on those kids faces..... lol
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MrMcThrasher II
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:01 pm
Posts: 1321
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 3:57 pm 
 

Image
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Murtal wrote:
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TheDefiniteArticle wrote:
Also hopefully they take it as a sign they're not meant to make more albums.

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WillyB
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2015 1:07 pm
Posts: 404
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 2:01 am 
 

MrMcThrasher II wrote:
Spoiler: show
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This always gets me jesus christ

Love this album but what the fuck is this thing on the cover?
Spoiler: show
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rym

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Oxenkiller
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 2094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 8:27 pm 
 

Chewbacca jumping off the high dive. I dunno.

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Scorntyrant
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 5:55 am
Posts: 1377
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 11:36 pm 
 

you people never seen a Neapolitan ape before? Jeez....
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IntenseHatred
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:47 pm
Posts: 355
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:03 pm 
 

Image

Always thought this one was terrible.
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S9NE
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:58 am
Posts: 145
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:33 am 
 

"Anniversary" by Topp Dogg immediately came to mind. Granted, it's just a single, but damn, it looks so cheap and tacky.

Image

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Napalm_Satan
One-Trick Pony

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3166
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:58 pm 
 

Cold - Cold

Image

Ugly in the way only late '90s cover art tends to be
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laxskinn
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:12 pm
Posts: 140
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:57 am 
 

Looks like a toothpaste label.

Edit:
Or rather
Image

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DividerOfShadows
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:58 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 6:15 am 
 

Corey Feldman - Angelic 2 the Core

Image
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CradleOfBurzum, about the new Summoning album snippet, wrote:
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And I'm still hoping for Katy Perry to do another Christian album.


My Last.fm

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DecemberSoul
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:46 am
Posts: 822
Location: Switzerland
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 9:18 pm 
 

Image

What a half-assed effort...clearly missing a) tracklist, b) barcode, c) list of respective country's distributor and d) preordained bargain bin tag

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Thy Shrine
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:37 pm
Posts: 168
Location: Golgotha
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:14 pm 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
Cold - Cold

Image

Ugly in the way only late '90s cover art tends to be



It's like they tried to rip off Meantime by Helmet, but just got as far as the logo

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The Crazy Old School Music Fan
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 27, 2016 12:13 pm
Posts: 131
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 4:52 pm 
 

chaossphere wrote:
To be honest this thread seems a tad redundant. Metal and hard rock has generally been the only genre where it's common for any real effort to be put into album covers, most pop/country/rap/soul/jazz/blues/classical/whatever covers are usually very shoddy and half-assed. If anything it would make more sense to have a thread for good non-metal album covers, because they're as rare as rocking-horse shit :lol:

Great idea tbh. Maybe someone can make this a reality?

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Zelkiiro
Pounding the world with a fish of steel

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:30 pm
Posts: 6137
Location: Pennsylvania
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:53 pm 
 

Image

If I didn't know the artist beforehand, I'd be convinced this was a still frame in the opening moments of a vintage porn video.
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circleofdestruction
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:15 am
Posts: 1060
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:35 pm 
 

I don't see too much wrong with Miles or Herbie's covers posted above, and nothing at all wrong with the John Coltrane. [shrug]

This is the most horrendous album cover of anything I own a copy of:
Spoiler: show
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jimbies
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 2:52 pm
Posts: 915
Location: Ontario, Canada
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:55 am 
 

The options are endless for this thread, but this is the first that came to mind:

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It's crazy that a band as mainstream/popular as them were able to get this past EVERYONE on their team and got it released. I love the edit someone made, entitling the record "Butt Hurt" and adding a crack to the heart. I can't find the image now.

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thrashinbatman
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:31 pm
Posts: 913
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:55 pm 
 

Speaking of that Top Dog cover, you could include really nearly any rap album cover from like 1996-2004 or so. For some reason even the big name rappers started getting really ugly, garish, badly-photoshopped album covers.

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CoconutBackwards
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:02 pm
Posts: 435
Location: Walled Lake, MI
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:39 pm 
 

Folkemon_ wrote:
Image


Obligatory



Hahahaha!

This has to be where ol' Kirk Van Houten got his inspiration from.
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CoconutBackwards
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:02 pm
Posts: 435
Location: Walled Lake, MI
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:45 pm 
 

DecemberSoul wrote:
Image

What a half-assed effort...clearly missing a) tracklist, b) barcode, c) list of respective country's distributor and d) preordained bargain bin tag


Is that the Mike Keneally from Dethklok?
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Napalm_Satan
One-Trick Pony

Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:27 pm
Posts: 3166
PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:50 pm 
 

I've been getting into Weezer beyond just Pinkerton lately, and during my journey further into their discography I happen upon these:

Spoiler: show
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Image


I actually thought that second one was a piece of vandalism on the Wikipedia article, but apparently not.
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Xymosys
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:19 am
Posts: 279
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 5:16 am 
 

Early yugoslavi pop scene :D

Spoiler: show
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Spoiler: show
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Spoiler: show
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Spoiler: show
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there are tons of it...
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Timeghoul
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:00 pm
Posts: 109
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:35 am 
 

John Grant - Grey Tickles, Black Pressure. I found out about it when I was looking to see what Budgie has been doing lately. He played drums on this album. The only way I can describe the music is strange.

Image

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FirebathDan
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 2:32 pm
Posts: 1015
Location: Greensboro, NC, US
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:09 am 
 

Napalm_Satan wrote:
I've been getting into Weezer beyond just Pinkerton lately, and during my journey further into their discography I happen upon these:

Spoiler: show
Image
Image


I actually thought that second one was a piece of vandalism on the Wikipedia article, but apparently not.


Simultaneously on/off topic: Post Pinkerton Weezer is incredibly hit or miss. These albums you've linked-the awfulness of the covers easily match the awfulness of the music.

Green, Make Believe, and Everything Will Be All Right In the End are all worthy, and only that last one has a terrible album cover to boot.

Maladroit and Red are half decent and Red actually has one of their best ever songs in "Dreamin'". Maladroit, though, has terrible cover art.

Raditude, Hurley, White, and Pacific Daydream are all completely fucking terrible.
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