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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:36 pm 
 

So we continue with the strained Judas Priest puns. You all know the rules:

1) Don't be an idiot.

2) Seriously don't be an idiot.

That's all, and remember not to be an idiot. It gives Zodi uncontrollable shakes.
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Lair of the Bastard: LATEST REVIEW: In Flames - Foregone
The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

*farts*
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Cosmic Atrophy - extradimensional death metal

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

rexxz has been banned.

NO MERCY.
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The Outer RIM - Uatism: The dogs bark in street slang
niix wrote:
the reason your grandmother has all those plastic sheets on her furniture is because she is probably a squirter

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11193
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:39 pm 
 

I guess you could say you retired his ass.
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
Posts: 5898
Location: over yon hill
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:40 pm 
 

Dear god who put BastardHead in charge?
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Azmodes wrote:
It combines two of my favourite things: penis innuendo and derigin.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:44 pm 
 

Who better epitomizes the FFA than he?
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MorbidBlood wrote:
So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:46 pm 
 

And here I thought he was just Free For Me. What a whore.
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Cosmic Atrophy - extradimensional death metal

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2545
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:47 pm 
 

Splained Class

Oh ya bud.
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:51 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
rexxz has been banned.

NO MERCY.

Actually, everyone - idiots and geniuses and everyone in between - farts.

Though I'm not entirely sure about Stephen Hawking because I don't know that much about his condition.
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:19 pm 
 

droneriot wrote:
Actually, everyone - idiots and geniuses and everyone in between - farts.

Though I'm not entirely sure about Stephen Hawking because I don't know that much about his condition.

If he does, you can bet your non-retired ass it certainly isn't intentional.
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:20 pm 
 

Long ago, when Mike was king, his heart was clean, now he's 'splained class.
Time released? This untouched thing? So now he's just a 'splained class king.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:22 pm 
 

This is probably super old, but the funniest video I've seen on YouTube in a long time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SOxaYgMRA
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5997
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:25 pm 
 

I still think Strained Ass was better.

Especially considering the word diarrhea that will inevitably plague this thread. :P
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:27 pm 
 

You just reminded me to take my imodium. Thanks!
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MonumentalBlackArt
Magic Mike Jr.

Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:04 am
Posts: 1906
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:41 pm 
 

I've now outlived 2 FFA's. Nice. I even got onto the first page. Nicer.

Also I took a political alignment test and ended up in the upper left-hand quadrant. I'm a goddamn commie. :(

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~Guest 21181
The Great Fearmonger

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:44 am
Posts: 3987
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:33 pm 
 

Those political alignment tests really don't tell you anything. They leave no room for pragmatism and assume policies are always purely dichotomous rather than the messy result of bargaining and having to find something that works in the real world.

This is probably my 16th Free-For-All thread but might be the first wherein I post on page 1. So hurray!

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:42 pm 
 

Speaking of politics, who was the last prime minister of Israel to not be convicted or persecuted of some crime or another?
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5997
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:45 pm 
 

How 'bout we don't start this thread off with the awful trifecta of religion, politics or sex, hmm?
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:45 pm 
 

But that sounds fun.
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth
Cosmic Atrophy - extradimensional death metal

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Sepulchrave
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:29 pm
Posts: 1994
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:50 pm 
 

Yeah, gotta say the FFA was much more prone to other topics before the whole presidential election thing happened. Like food.

...
*checks watch*
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wizard_of_bore wrote:
I drank a lot of cheap beer and ate three Nacho BellGrandes. A short time later I took a massive messy shit and I swear it sounded just like the drums on Dirty Window from Metallica's St Anger album.

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:51 pm 
 

Well I tried posting some cool John Carpenter inspired synth music in the last FFA but no one said anything because everyone here is mean.
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Hexenkraft - diabolical cyberpunk darksynth
Cosmic Atrophy - extradimensional death metal

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11852
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:54 pm 
 

Damn, adblock usually gets those.
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MorbidBlood wrote:
So the winner is Destruction and Infernal Overkill is the motherfucking skullcrushing poserkilling satan-worshiping 666 FUCK YOU greatest german thrash record.

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~Guest 132892
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6349
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:03 pm 
 

Hey, there's a new FFA. Neato.

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henkkjelle
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:54 pm
Posts: 4537
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:12 pm 
 

At the start of the late XVI I promised myself to listen to more Judas Priest. Two years later and I have yet to finish a full Priest album. So me not getting this pun either does not come as a suprise.
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PDS
The Folk One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 1783
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:27 pm 
 

It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.
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Acrobat wrote:
I dunno, I'm a guitarist and it always feels like playing a giant cock. Not just that but live music should hit you in the genitals. It might not if you don't use good amplifiers and your modelling shit goes straight out of the PA. But good music hits you HARD in the GENITALS.

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Lich Coldheart
Stares into the Void

Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:44 pm
Posts: 985
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:28 pm 
 

PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

:eek:
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BastardHead wrote:
I will pay a dollar to have Lich's custom title changed to "Drools into the Toilet Bowl"
Master_Of_Thrash wrote:
I like keeping my sword wet, like a young girl in her prime.

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:29 pm 
 

So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?
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~Guest 118084
With a 120kbps bitrate!

Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:05 am
Posts: 986
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:34 pm 
 

Slavic women are extremely sexy.

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~Guest 132892
Wastelander

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 6349
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:35 pm 
 

Wilytank wrote:
So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?

AbovetheThrone posting about some girl he barely knows whom he met online that he's going to move in with and it got out of hand. That's what I gathered.

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:41 pm 
 

Every once in a while, the thread jumps the shark and needs to be put down.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:42 pm 
 

It is still right there and you can still read the entire thing...
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:44 pm 
 

TheConqueror1 wrote:
Slavic women are extremely sexy.

Only the sexy ones. Which in turn is then true about every ethnicity. Sexy [insertethnicity] women are sexy.
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Cursarion
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:56 am
Posts: 785
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:48 pm 
 

henkkjelle and PDS do not deserve this topic. :(
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Empä mie semmone ou niiku sie luulet

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 10527
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:50 pm 
 

iAm wrote:
Wilytank wrote:
So what exactly happened in the previous story arc of FFA to cause it to end?

AbovetheThrone posting about some girl he barely knows whom he met online that he's going to move in with and it got out of hand. That's what I gathered.

Uh, no. You think there hasn't been any stupider "arcs" in past FFAs?

Years ago, the aging forum software made large threads become buggy (paging wouldn't work properly) so that's why they closed the threads and made new ones. This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*
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Von Cichlid wrote:
I work with plenty of Oriental and Indian persons and we get along pretty good, and some females as well.

Markeri, in 2013 wrote:
a fairly agreed upon date [of the beginning of metal] is 1969. Metal is almost 25 years old

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:50 pm 
 

PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

How do you even begin to live with yourself?
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"A glimpse of light is all that it takes to illuminate the darkness."

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MonumentalBlackArt
Magic Mike Jr.

Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:04 am
Posts: 1906
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:55 pm 
 

Yeah mate that's pretty fucked up.

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rexxz
Where's your band?

Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 9094
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:58 pm 
 

Morrigan wrote:
This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*


The reason is puns. Judas Priest puns.
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:06 pm 
 

rexxz wrote:
Morrigan wrote:
This isn't needed anymore, but some fools here get attached to traditions, and so have arbitrarily closed the old thread to make a new one for... no real reason. *shrugs*


The reason is puns. Judas Priest puns.


Better by you, better than me.

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PDS
The Folk One

Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:04 pm
Posts: 1783
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:24 pm 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
PDS wrote:
It could be worse. The only Priest album I've fully listened to is Nostradamus.

How do you even begin to live with yourself?


I don't, most of the nights are regretting what my younger self has done, then the laziness sets in before I do anything else, like bother to put Painkiller on my comp while I do something else.
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Acrobat wrote:
I dunno, I'm a guitarist and it always feels like playing a giant cock. Not just that but live music should hit you in the genitals. It might not if you don't use good amplifiers and your modelling shit goes straight out of the PA. But good music hits you HARD in the GENITALS.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:26 pm 
 

I've never heard more than the first song off Painkiller. My life's been wasted.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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