Didn't the scientology cult just get a big kick in the nuts lately? Something about members leaving and revealing some dastardly doings?

Goddamn, I'm loving In the Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend. Hour of Death, especially, is an absolute masterpeice.

i took photos:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y143/A ... _00183.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y143/A ... _00235.jpg

yes, that 2nd photo is a huge fucking Scientology building. zoom in on the pic and you can read 'scientology'.

fucking Quagnars.

fucking creeps!
i was hoping you had pics. I know this is old sentiment, but fuck me Scientology is one retarded, far-fetched, and utterly nonsense religion.

Anyone seen that British doco Scientology & Me? i think it's by Horizon or something.

I found this Bad Translator! site on the Cracked forums. It automatically translates phrases to other languages and back to English to show how fucked up the translators are. It produces some pretty funny results.

The first verse of Gorguts' "Stiff and Cold":

Original text:

"Will I die or survive
From this hell made of ice?
It's up to this mountain to decide
What will happen to my life "

...54 translations later we get:

"Life or death, or last or something. My life is complicated."

There are better ones, but this made me laugh.

I think we should go pull a Varg on that Scientology Church.

Edit^2: first verse of God of Emptiness with max number of translations"- Pearl Jam and the spiritual dignity and quality of service in the world? You? - The most creative and Innovative. Shottoratsoyo."
It managed to get "Pearl Jam" when translated from Icelandic to English

Am I the only person who did all their work in language classes by typing in English then fed them into one of these translators?

Haha..."suck a walrus dick" became "Tim Hippocampus." I guess I should do lyrics by people other than Wesley Willis?

Well, at least they're not going around trying to push their beliefs on others. It's more important to focus on the real problem - the evangelical fanatical Christians who go around trying to force people to believe in their religion. That's why black metal musicians burned their fucking churches to the ground and I don't blame them.

The first verse of War Pigs:

Government Agencies, such as superstition.
The role of the brain, and died of Internal Control.
After fighting the fire.
Worse than death, the house of God!

How to get rid of nutty Christians in two easy steps!

1) Tell them to "Fuck off"
2) PROFIT $$$$

Really, it's that easy.

I saw a big (while being kind of discreet), building on Sunset Blvrd, with a small sign that said something about L. Ron Hubbard at the bottom.

I was at this church by the will of my mother's friend, by the way. She's cool, but has been tainted by the LA culture since she's moved here. Part of the three and a half hours was devoted to meditation in which you were supposed to sit still and focus on wishful thinking. I'm cool with meditation, in fact I borderline meditate while listening to records at home (listening to records on the floor in my living room while completely clearing my thoughts) but the environment was horrid. I was surrounded by the most annoying personalities imaginable, they were annoying even while silent.

i bet you could play Drawing Down the Moon and get the most intense meditation vibe ever going in that room. that is ritual music. it is made purely to go out into the woods and perform the ritual of the same name. it's a religion i could join, even though i know it's still complete shit in the sense of reality.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Did anyone else see SW's new logo?! This is by far the most over the top yet. http://www.myspace.com/opferblut

1st logo was better & 2nd logo was best. he's been around 11 years and has already changed his logo for a 3rd time?

That looks like a spray paint accident.

Us traditional metal types sometimes jokingly refer to bands like those as "logo bands" as a sort of light hearted pisstakery. It's a little silly when the poster for a "black metal fest" has to have clearly printed explanations of logos underneath 'em.

That new logo looks so furry, I want to hug it.

it's actually harder to read with the black font. it really resembles the 1st logo in a few ways, most notably with the return of those heads on each side.

Are you trying to be sarcastic? Or do you just not know anything about Scientology?

It did remind me of graffiti a little, which is making me wonder what happened to his whole "I fucking spit on your pathetic trendy bullshit!"

Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but I don't think he knows what he's talking about. That's not why the church burning happened either...

The Church of Scientology is far more diabolical than any modern non-cult sect of Christianity could ever be, and more ridiculous too. L. Ron Hubbard was an acknowledged writer of fiction who even admitted that "starting a religion" would be a good way to make money. They use a method of psychological propaganda and tiered achievements in the system of Dianetics to draw in, and then retain, their victims.

If you read into what the practices of Scientology actually entail, a bunch of stoned arabs and jews writing stories about locust storms and resurrections seems reasonable by comparison.

http://www.xenu.net/

I'm sure it's painfully obvious and this has been asked countless times but what's been going on with the tavern? Where am I posting right now? Existential quandary.

Nah. That's obviously roadkill. Yum.

I liked 2th logo but that's pretty fuckin' great too!

1. Nobody uses terms like "Schwarzmetall", any genre of music is referred to by its English name.

2. Smoking weed is quite common at metal shows around here.

On the topic of Scientology, I don't know if it's world wide but at least here they actually own a chain of stores called The Pancake Parlour. It's a family who are members of the cult who actually own it and by what I remember is that what you own, Scientology will own it when you join.

I always found it strange that there was some creepy out of space theme in the stores too.

Take that bit with a pinch of salt, haha.

Just got Destruction's Sentence of Death/Infernal Overkill for £3 on ebay. Ebay's totally tits.

Australia has some decent bands, and what looks like a vibrant scene too, judging by all the groups that tour over there (shitty ruggers and crickie though).

From Toxic Holocaust's "Wild Dogs"

"These fangs are sharp will tear your flesh With matted coats and rotten breath Demon dogs from the tomb Torn right outta the bitch's womb "

to:
"This sharp teeth and fire tore his clothes and body of a dead dog bad breath, because the loss of major rights abuses hell, bitch"

Thank you very much BaronBlitzkrieg, you have been most helpful!

Yay. The tavern's back. I am overcome with joy. Woohoo.

Anyway, what if we try to add Engrish lyrics into the translator? Say... Abigail? Maybe a paradox will be created where it makes perfect sense?

From Satanic Hell Slut:

All the maniacs think she is so cool
They look at her and masturbate
She is the metal fuck maniacs
I wanna be your metal slave

"Our thoughts and feelings are bad. Discount sekkususurebuonani"


Oh... of course! they're sneaking in moral lessons here - "do not think about metal sluts, it gives bad thoughts and feelings!" Then what sekkususurebuonani means... well, fuck me. Probably something about masturbation.

The overall message of Abigail is unmistakably BEER METAL SEX. Nothing more and nothing less.

(SATAN is a central element of METAL and has not been disregarded)

After hearing about this bad translator I decided to give it a go. I decided to choose something like Nocturnal Graves.

From Aggressive Exterminator:

"Brothers of ancient blood gather and pronounce the call
Summon the will of the serpent and
Speak with the venom of Satan
Hear the voice of the deathless one
And behold His infernal power
The eldest One dreaming that we may live"

And 54 translations later we get:
"Fever and Toxicity was known to sleep when you play, Scoring goals."

How do goals get mentioned in the original?

Which means it still doesn't make sense. Suddenly, they do a lyrical 180, trying to teach us morals!



See, it is a complex formula involving that whole "dreaming that we may live" part. Yeah, see, when you take that and mix it with... oh, fuck it. I don't know.

In other news, Hammerfall ceases to be saddening, becomes confusing.

Snow is falling down on this glorious land
Colours fading, turning into white again
To fallen heroes angels sing, they cry their winter tears
Endless mourning days will turn to years

Becomes: "Snow White and the Seven Angels shxtkhvrdgan Exceed. Tears new law will also cool the second song."

... excuse me?! Since when is shxtkhvrdgan even an English word?!

Also, who said anything about SEVEN angels? I mean... c'mon! Aargh!

In yet other news, my sister's dog smells like McDonalds. Or McDonalds smells wet dog. I can't quite decide.

So I haven't been paying any attention to new metal lately and I read that Immolation and Burzum both have new albums which pleases me greatly. However, when I finally got around to listening to both albums I hear nothing but re-hashed old shit which leaves me very disappointed.

I respectably disagree good sir. Immolation's new record is fantastic, just like everything else they've done. Can't really comment on Burzum though.

Well, fuck new stuff. Take a time travel back to the 1989, and stay there - it's a far nicer place. Just bring along a couple of albums from after that year, and you'll be all set.

Fuck, something's happened with my voice - I can't sing anymore! Guys, I'm scared.

Well it is a step up from Shadows of light (whatever the fuck it was called) but having said that it really doesn't step that much further up, it sounds uninspired and bored.

NiceNightmare, I'm sure '89 would be great but I'm happy with my current life and I have no real qualms with listening to the old classics all the time, I'm just expressing my frustration with the lack of a band I can just fall back on as coming through with a fresh new album whenever they have something to offer.

Anyway I'm currently listening to Pungent Stench - Mucous Secretion and I have to say that this is one amazing release.

Rest in peace Layne Staley