Dude, you messed it up. It's:

Step 1: Tell them to "Fuck off"
Step 2: ???
Step 3: PROFIT $$$$

Actually it's meant to be four steps, but whatever.

Slightly over two pages of Burzum shirts, including an all-over print and a face shot or two!

http://www.plastichead.com/catalogue.as ... get=BURZUM

(Found via the burzum.org site)

It's a profitable business being Varg, wonder when we'll get Burzum socks and briefs...

Norsk arisk undertøy!

Can't wait to have his beautiful, manly, bearded face adorning my crotch and private areas (feet).

Speaking of creepy Varg man-crushes, that really odd 100% review of Belus from April Fool's was removed.

Hey guys, I just wanted to ask for a little advice. These past few days I've been feeling deeply depressed, although I'm not sure why is it. I think it's because lately I've been thinking that I'm 19 and I haven't done anything noteworthy in my life. I know that I'm young to be thinking like this, but I fear that my talents are useless in "real life". What I mean is that I'm good at writing, speaking and such (rhetoric, grammar, logic, etc.) but for the past 2 years of college I've noticed that it has done me no good. In my everyday life it has done me no good. I think that I subconsciously fear that I've reached my limit (as far as potential is concerned) and that I may not reach most of my goals. I'm not going to give up either because that's not who I am. I'm going to try my hardest to prove myself wrong. But it's like I'm in a zombie apocalypse movie: No matter how much I try to survive, I will probably end up dead.

If anyone read this, thanks.
Comments?

Well no shit, anybody who wasn't around this past week when it was posted wouldn't have gotten the joke, and they would then annoy the mods with requests of its removal.

Does a less-than-attractive topless black metal chick have ugly Beelzeboobs?

If she does, you can always just corpsepaint them up to look better.

There's far too many variables for us to answer such a simple question with any degree of accuracy Modfinn, you should know that, being wise and all.

What do you call champagne from hell?

Beelzebub!

HURPA DURP DURPA DOO I'll be here all night, folks. Get out while you still can.

Other Amorphis fanboys should check out Barren Earth's new debut. Considering it has Olli and Kasper from their earlier days there is definitely a lot of Elegy and Tuonela influence. This is hopefully what the next Amorphis album would sound like. Just for a quick taste: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lokhtc7zA9M

Also, I know I'm like a million years late here but I've just discovered the glory of early Swedeath.

For fucks sake, Nappy! Stop it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!

Okay, a serious answer. No, she does not. She simply has (a hopefully redeeming quality) boobs. If they're big or small, round our pear-y, overall pretty or not? We can't tell. You haven't given that many clues. However, since she was defined as "less-than-attractive", I doubt they're all that redeeming a quality. In either case, they're not Beelzeboobs.

As for FSM's pun... that didn't even make sense? Champagne from hell? Beelzebub? wut?

Oh, and don't worry Snowgrave. Not a million. Just like... 21? 22? Yeah, a little over two decades. Yep, two decades. No more, no less. Juuuuuuuuust two decades.

"Bub" is slang for champagne. Short for "bubbly". Yes, it's a stupid term. Damn you furriners, not getting my subtle puns!

There's a line between subtle puns and turd on a stick, fsm.

Yes, and together with Nappy I am determined to map every inch of it!

A couple of weeks and we'll all want The Tavern gone again.

Careful Naps, he's on to us!

That investigative streak is finally coming in handy!

Try new things out, you might have hidden talents you're not aware of. Do some cool things you maybe don't do often with friends. Find out what gives you joy. I know exactly what kind of situation you're in. I sometimes feel the same.

failsafeman = King of over the top hints.

So... has anyone been following that new HBO miniseries, The Pacific?

I'm getting the first episode in 720p right now. Thanks for reminding me to watch it. I need a series to watch over Spring Break.

Edit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYsJyM2ttFs
I've been going here with my friends for the past couple weeks. It's like heaven.

Proposed hypothetical band name: Cyclone of Bees.

Yea or nay?

Cyclone of Wasps?
Cyclone of Hornets?

Bees alone sounds a little childish.

Intelligence Agencies Allegedly Going to Extremes to Suppress Video Confirming Pentagon Massacre Cover-up



The video is available here:
http://www.collateralmurder.com/

The video does not only contain the moments in which the persons were gunned down, but also the original responses from the military. These stand is quite a contrast to what has happened on the ground at that specific time. I wonder whether this will lead to an investigation.

Problem with Wasps in this case is that the abbreviation becomes CoW. I do not want people referring to any band I am associated with as "Cow."

"Hi, do you listen to Cow?"
"Yeah man, Cow are fucking awesome!"

See, that's just silly. 'Course, I imagine the association with Children of Bodom by abbreviation for ...Bees isn't much better. Hornets might work, though.

I propose Cyclone Of Scabies, if you've ever had scabies you will know that it is no laughing matter.

Napero is getting old, ogmetal old....

And failsafeman, keep up the puns and you ll out-bore both the Finn and that weird Australian kid.

Whatever happened to that guy that came on the forums (fora?) a few months ago with the plan to write a book covering tons of old metal demos?

(It seems every six weeks or so someone comes on here with a great idea for a book/database/plan to better the 'scene', everyone says 'Wow that sounds good, keep me posted as to how it turns out' and then nothing is heard about it again.)

Sick fucks. Not a single identifiable weapon in the footage, "It's their own fault if they bring their kids to a battle", and shooting at an obvious ad hoc civilian med-evac.

I hope they one day understand what they did, take their shotguns and disconnect their brain. Seriously. That would require growing a brain first, of course, but that's beyond fucked up. Once again.

Noktorn?

He should cut the crap and record a follow up of Carelian Satanist Madness. The new logo looks kind of cool, specially the wolves and the raven, but like someone else commented I prefer the first one.

Edit: Also, what´s the point of having cool looking logos for your band if you are gonna end using a lame gothic font for your records.









Seriously, what the fuck?

Talking about this band, someboy else listened to his live album and liked it? I found it enjoyable but his cover of Take me to the top was hilarious and completely out of place.

Burzum used to have cool merch. Back when he was in collaboration with Heathen Front.



I'd buy a face shirt, though, so I could gaze into Varg's eyes and imagine being with him.

Napero actually uses this 'joke' even more than Noktorn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrOfvhFiq6E&NR=1

New Watain single.

I really need to do important things for school much earlier. Still have to read a book and make a report of it. All need to be done tomorrow.

Cyclone of Giant Homicidal Mantises!

You should stick around here. I'm sure the local populace would have plenty of suggestions to [s]ruin[/s] help you [s]fail your class[/s] get your homework done. Honest.