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Nahsil
Clerical Sturmgeschütz

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:06 pm
Posts: 4558
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:58 pm 
 

just a dumb pedantic remark, "antisocial" usually means "anti" social, so like people who shoot up schools. "Unsocial" is usually what people say for this. Not a big deal tho.

maybe you're an introvert? I like performing sometimes too (not musically but however), but I'm not big on small talk and can sometimes seem shy. I like connecting with a few people but small talk can be really boring and tiring to me.

it's actually impossible to know anything substantial about you based on the info you've given us :P I'd say ask yourself what you want, you know? Do you want to be more charismatic, or are you okay with how you're performing?
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2272
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:37 pm 
 

Eh, there are worse things to be regarded as than "shy". At least people aren't saying your music sucks! Being standoffish on stage is not a big deal. There are very few musicians who are notably skilled at the art of audience interaction. Most of it is just perfunctory "how yall doin' tonight!" And if that's all your show is missing, don't worry about it, you're doing fine :)
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Apteronotus wrote:
Mütiilation. There should be a missing I, not an extra one. Really a missed wordplay opportunity.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:29 pm 
 

Why is this its own thread? it belongs here, IMO: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=95623
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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 12384
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:36 pm 
 

Youtube: show


Merged.
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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2272
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:40 pm 
 

Kick-ass song, FSM!
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Mütiilation. There should be a missing I, not an extra one. Really a missed wordplay opportunity.

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brainbomb
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:08 pm
Posts: 193
Location: Boston
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 1:50 pm 
 

I have had an anxiety disorder my entire life and, weirdly enough, I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I was never really shy and afraid of people. I liked hanging out in large groups and such, even in high school. But, lately, man. It started in my late 20s and just kept getting worse. Now when I go to the dive bar up my street on a Friday night my heart pumps on my walk up. I settle down once I'm in but, I've never had that anxious feeling come about in a social setting. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to people. It's um, a bit of a bummer, really! Especially since I've never really had a hard time talking to people at all. I can hold a decent conversation. Nowadays? I have fuck all to say and when I do, I don't know how to say it. It's like I suddenly forgot how to be social. I power through but, it makes me worried that it just gets worse. I have this terrible fear of saying something incredibly dumb, and not making good first impressions.

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Dragunov
Veteran

Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 6:34 pm
Posts: 2669
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 10:42 am 
 

brainbomb wrote:
I have had an anxiety disorder my entire life and, weirdly enough, I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I was never really shy and afraid of people. I liked hanging out in large groups and such, even in high school. But, lately, man. It started in my late 20s and just kept getting worse. Now when I go to the dive bar up my street on a Friday night my heart pumps on my walk up. I settle down once I'm in but, I've never had that anxious feeling come about in a social setting. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to people. It's um, a bit of a bummer, really! Especially since I've never really had a hard time talking to people at all. I can hold a decent conversation. Nowadays? I have fuck all to say and when I do, I don't know how to say it. It's like I suddenly forgot how to be social. I power through but, it makes me worried that it just gets worse. I have this terrible fear of saying something incredibly dumb, and not making good first impressions.


This is essentially how I am nowadays, though all my issues seem to stem from my quitting smoking about a year ago, and having my first bad anxiety attack while driving out of town. Now I'm almost always super hesitant to go out anywhere, though I've made progress in powering through the anxiety and making myself just get out and see how things go. The brain is a weird, fucked up thing.
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Pogo
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 2:06 am
Posts: 285
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:41 pm 
 

brainbomb wrote:
I have had an anxiety disorder my entire life and, weirdly enough, I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I was never really shy and afraid of people. I liked hanging out in large groups and such, even in high school. But, lately, man. It started in my late 20s and just kept getting worse. Now when I go to the dive bar up my street on a Friday night my heart pumps on my walk up. I settle down once I'm in but, I've never had that anxious feeling come about in a social setting. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to people. It's um, a bit of a bummer, really! Especially since I've never really had a hard time talking to people at all. I can hold a decent conversation. Nowadays? I have fuck all to say and when I do, I don't know how to say it. It's like I suddenly forgot how to be social. I power through but, it makes me worried that it just gets worse. I have this terrible fear of saying something incredibly dumb, and not making good first impressions.


While this is commonly associated with anxiety disorders, this is also incredibly typical of depression. You should see a therapist to evaluate the situation to know for sure what the issue is and to figure out how to kick this in the ass.

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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11128
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:08 pm 
 

brainbomb wrote:
I have had an anxiety disorder my entire life and, weirdly enough, I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I was never really shy and afraid of people. I liked hanging out in large groups and such, even in high school. But, lately, man. It started in my late 20s and just kept getting worse. Now when I go to the dive bar up my street on a Friday night my heart pumps on my walk up. I settle down once I'm in but, I've never had that anxious feeling come about in a social setting. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to people. It's um, a bit of a bummer, really! Especially since I've never really had a hard time talking to people at all. I can hold a decent conversation. Nowadays? I have fuck all to say and when I do, I don't know how to say it. It's like I suddenly forgot how to be social. I power through but, it makes me worried that it just gets worse. I have this terrible fear of saying something incredibly dumb, and not making good first impressions.


That sucks, and I feel you for sure! I'm really chatty once I get to know you, or if there's already some pretext for a conversation then I do fine. These days, though, I get more and more terrified about the prospect of having to start up an initial conversation with a stranger. I've been really struggling with making friends in my new town because of this sort of stuff. In my last job, I had coworkers I'd talk to that lead to a wider social circle, but here none of my coworkers are particularly social (at least with me) so I've been trying to venture out on my own and it's brutal. I usually go to the more popular bars in town and have developed some kind of unserious friendships with the bar staff just because they'll come over and talk to me first, but approach random other people in the bar is just mortifying to me so mainly I just sit there and drink beer and fuck around on my phone.

Recently I did branch out a bit by joining a local Dungeons & Dragons group. Of course there's some anxiety meeting those people for the first time, too, but it's nowhere near as awkward as just striking up a conversation with random people at a bar. At least, for me.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4472
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:19 pm 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
These days, though, I get more and more terrified about the prospect of having to start up an initial conversation with a stranger.


Curious - is this on account of living in a foreign country/your recent job change, or did it seem to happen as you got older? I've noticed that my social anxiety and unwillingness to strike up a conversation with new people has actually gotten worse post-college. Makes me wonder whether the lack of social interaction that college sort of forces on you leads to those skills "atrophying" like a muscle without exercise. It's nothing terrible for me and I certainly don't face the challenges others here have spoken of, but it's definitely been noticeable.
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brainbomb
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:08 pm
Posts: 193
Location: Boston
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:52 pm 
 

iamntbatman wrote:
brainbomb wrote:
I have had an anxiety disorder my entire life and, weirdly enough, I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I was never really shy and afraid of people. I liked hanging out in large groups and such, even in high school. But, lately, man. It started in my late 20s and just kept getting worse. Now when I go to the dive bar up my street on a Friday night my heart pumps on my walk up. I settle down once I'm in but, I've never had that anxious feeling come about in a social setting. I feel like I've forgotten how to talk to people. It's um, a bit of a bummer, really! Especially since I've never really had a hard time talking to people at all. I can hold a decent conversation. Nowadays? I have fuck all to say and when I do, I don't know how to say it. It's like I suddenly forgot how to be social. I power through but, it makes me worried that it just gets worse. I have this terrible fear of saying something incredibly dumb, and not making good first impressions.


That sucks, and I feel you for sure! I'm really chatty once I get to know you, or if there's already some pretext for a conversation then I do fine. These days, though, I get more and more terrified about the prospect of having to start up an initial conversation with a stranger. I've been really struggling with making friends in my new town because of this sort of stuff. In my last job, I had coworkers I'd talk to that lead to a wider social circle, but here none of my coworkers are particularly social (at least with me) so I've been trying to venture out on my own and it's brutal. I usually go to the more popular bars in town and have developed some kind of unserious friendships with the bar staff just because they'll come over and talk to me first, but approach random other people in the bar is just mortifying to me so mainly I just sit there and drink beer and fuck around on my phone.

Recently I did branch out a bit by joining a local Dungeons & Dragons group. Of course there's some anxiety meeting those people for the first time, too, but it's nowhere near as awkward as just striking up a conversation with random people at a bar. At least, for me.


This is something I have not personally experienced but I've played out scenarios in my head. Sometimes I think about the future and whether or not I want to stay in Boston. Boston's all I've ever known. I grew up walking distance to the subway, it's always been right there, I've never lived anywhere else. I'm a townie, I guess. But, then I get excited over the idea of starting anew in places like Chicago or Philly, but I think

A) I don't think any of my friends would just pack up and go out there with me
B) My social life would be crippled because of your exact situation. It would take me for fucking ever to work up the nerve to make an acquaintance let alone join a social circle.

I also wonder if the digital age attributes to it. I mean, it's gotta. When socializing is right at your fingertips, even if it's 10% of the essence of being social, it still kind of strips away some core element of physically being around somebody. Instead of talking we write words. Instead of having round-table discussions, we uh, well there is no round-table anymore. It's a thread on a feed instead. I think that chips away at basic social skills.

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severzhavnost
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:16 pm
Posts: 2272
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 4:29 pm 
 

Smoking_Gnu wrote:
Makes me wonder whether the lack of social interaction that college sort of forces on you leads to those skills "atrophying" like a muscle without exercise. It's nothing terrible for me and I certainly don't face the challenges others here have spoken of, but it's definitely been noticeable.


Interesting... my first thought is to agree with this, as I was a lot more sociable in my college years. But it wasn't at all attributable to the "college experience" forcing me to socialize. I went to class, I hid in the library to do my assignments, and I went drinking. And yes, I easily talked to whoever sat beside me at the bar, whether on campus or not. Nowadays, I more or less go out just for the sake of finding a better TV to watch the hockey game, and kind of prefer not to have to talk to anyone, though I'm still capable of going through the motions if someone starts up a chat with me. I wonder what the hell happened?
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11128
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:55 pm 
 

Gnu, no, I don't think the foreign country thing is really a big factor. Maybe I was more outgoing back in middle school or something, but I've struggled with self esteem/confidence issues my entire adult life. I've just always been fortunate enough to be put into situations where social circles were thrust upon me by more outgoing people (established friends from middle school crossing bridges for me once high school started, being in a special program for the first two years of university that had me interacting closely with a small group of people every day, outgoing dorm-mates and coworkers later), so finding myself in a circumstance where that hasn't happened and therefore requiring me to be the instigator of social interaction rather than the beneficiary of it has been a big challenge.
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NuclearCreation91
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:34 pm
Posts: 132
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 8:04 am 
 

Tried saving everyone in my life after battling depression without even looking out for #1. Landed me on psyche but hey, it's for the best I'll catch up on some major sleep here.

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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 8:14 pm 
 

I was talking to a friend/girlfriend of mine, telling her about all the shit that I've been dealing with lately. I told her that it wasn't my fault that I was feeling the way I was feeling. She responded by saying "yes it is". I think she's a complete bitch to say that. How fucking dare you tell me that it's my fault, when I have been doing every possible fucking thing in my power to fight it? I'm just going to assume she's a foolish, insensitive bitch and that she's completely wrong. It is NOT my fault that I am suffering. Anyone who suggests otherwise can go to hell.

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Nahsil
Clerical Sturmgeschütz

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:06 pm
Posts: 4558
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 9:04 pm 
 

Nah, it's not your fault.

That doesn't mean you're powerless in the face of it (particularly with help from others; it's much much harder alone), but it's definitely not your fault it's happened. I dunno what her motivation for saying that was (maybe she feels powerless to help and is frustrated), but it sounds like you already know it isn't true.
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NuclearCreation91
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:34 pm
Posts: 132
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 8:26 am 
 

Hey Need just drop that friend for the sake of your mental health. I've been diagonosed with bi-polar and I'm smart enough to know it makes a whole lotta sense especially after getting a buttload of sleep after a week of mania. Maybe she has her own issues but you gotta sort yourself out first.

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Cosmic_Equilibrium
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:03 pm
Posts: 269
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:39 pm 
 

Serious question here. If one feels hopeless about something - really hopeless - does totally surrendering everything to that sense of hopelessness somehow manage to alleviate the emotional pain of it? Not sure if I've explained myself well enough, but it's occurring to me that sometimes it's less painful to just give in and go right to the bottom on this.

I'm not sure if I made any sense there, forgive me, it's half 2 in the morning in my part of the world.

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kittensofdoom
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:59 pm
Posts: 68
Location: Land of Barren Appletrees
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:03 pm 
 

Cosmic_Equilibrium wrote:
Serious question here. If one feels hopeless about something - really hopeless - does totally surrendering everything to that sense of hopelessness somehow manage to alleviate the emotional pain of it? Not sure if I've explained myself well enough, but it's occurring to me that sometimes it's less painful to just give in and go right to the bottom on this.

I'm not sure if I made any sense there, forgive me, it's half 2 in the morning in my part of the world.


Only one way to find out. Try it yourself. If you listen to others they could be lying or doing it for the money or a sense of obligation (the medical community) and even if they are conveying their own experience, your experience could differ from theirs. Listen to what your own experience tells you.

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Pogo
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 2:06 am
Posts: 285
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:07 pm 
 

Cosmic_Equilibrium wrote:
Serious question here. If one feels hopeless about something - really hopeless - does totally surrendering everything to that sense of hopelessness somehow manage to alleviate the emotional pain of it? Not sure if I've explained myself well enough, but it's occurring to me that sometimes it's less painful to just give in and go right to the bottom on this.

I'm not sure if I made any sense there, forgive me, it's half 2 in the morning in my part of the world.


Speaking from experience, no. Just "surrendering" to it will make it worse. You need to seek out resources to help you get out of that hole of hopelessness, be it therapy, a new job, a friend to talk to, or antidepressants. If you keep on going the way things are and hit bottom it could be disastrous to your relationships with family, friends, and significant others, your job, and your health. It could even end up costing you your life. Don't let that happen. Fight it.

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Nahsil
Clerical Sturmgeschütz

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:06 pm
Posts: 4558
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:36 am 
 

That's a tricky question. On one hand you absolutely need to experience what you're experiencing. On the other hand there's a reason therapy exists--you probably need a "container" to help you experience it and be able to maintain some perspective and put yourself back together afterward, with the help of another person (or people). Needs to be some safety and containment and support. Otherwise yeah you may just spiral into it and have a hard time learning anything from it or moving forward.
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Cosmic_Equilibrium
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:03 pm
Posts: 269
PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:33 am 
 

Thanks, will take that on board.

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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:49 am 
 

Cosmic_Equilibrium wrote:
Serious question here. If one feels hopeless about something - really hopeless - does totally surrendering everything to that sense of hopelessness somehow manage to alleviate the emotional pain of it? Not sure if I've explained myself well enough, but it's occurring to me that sometimes it's less painful to just give in and go right to the bottom on this.

I'm not sure if I made any sense there, forgive me, it's half 2 in the morning in my part of the world.


It's a good question to ask, and I can see why you would feel tempted to just give in to the way you feel instead of trying to put huge amounts of effort forth to fight it.

However, I would advise against it. Those types of feelings can become habitual, and if you just give in to it, you'll never break the bad habit of thinking negatively.

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NuclearCreation91
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:34 pm
Posts: 132
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:40 am 
 

I agree with everyone else that giving into to hopelessness is not exactly the right move. Idk if you're talking about life in general or specific situations. That's neither here nor there, try to stay positive because being happy is really fuckin' cool.

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kittensofdoom
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:59 pm
Posts: 68
Location: Land of Barren Appletrees
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:49 am 
 

It's pretty clear no one here has actually tried giving in to hopelessness. If they had they would know that what lies beneath is actually happiness. You are not your hopelessness and knowing that is the source of happiness, not covering it up with "positive thinking" or a "better life".

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NuclearCreation91
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:34 pm
Posts: 132
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:58 am 
 

Lol I was talking to the guy who was like "should I give in to hopelessness". Covering up with positive thinking? I'm not saying think positive for every fucking situation. It helps with simple shit like waiting in a longass line at tim hortons or some shit. Why would you let that shit piss you off. Come off it dickhead.

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Nahsil
Clerical Sturmgeschütz

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 2:06 pm
Posts: 4558
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 3:13 pm 
 

kittensofdoom wrote:
It's pretty clear no one here has actually tried giving in to hopelessness. If they had they would know that what lies beneath is actually happiness. You are not your hopelessness and knowing that is the source of happiness, not covering it up with "positive thinking" or a "better life".


There's definitely something to this, although I think it's more complicated than that as well. I'm wrestling with this issue a lot right now as I work my first year as a therapist. In my view there's two important aspects: not denying/pushing away/covering over the negativity (because that does not work, trust me, it does not work), but also not just solidifying that negativity as all there is. That's where having someone to talk to, someone who's supportive (as in, listens, and doesn't tell you to get over it or try to "fast-track" you into being happy because the negativity makes them uncomfortable) but doesn't feel the exact same way as you and has perspective on the brighter aspects of you/your life, is really helpful. It's hard to get beneath the hopelessness on your own, at least in my experience/the experience of my clients. I'd actually say it's hard to truly experience the hopelessness on your own, that it needs the presence of another person/to be seen to really emerge.

I think it's a delicate balance between the two, and they're both hard to do (experiencing darkness without turning it into a black hole of a pattern as well as experiencing positivity without forcing it), especially on your own.

I am in the camp of thinking that darkness has "something to say," that it means something (no surprise we're all on a metal forum, right?) and shouldn't be paved over, but in order to explore and experience and make meaning out of it, I think we need the support of other people.
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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:15 pm 
 

My doctor recently added a beta blocker in addition to my current anti-depression and anxiety meds. It has helped me a lot. Its main function is reduce blood pressure, and in doing so it does a great deal to reduce panic symptoms as well. Those moments where I freak out and feel overwhelmed with fear are gone. If you suffer panic attacks I highly recommend asking your doctor about taking a beta blocker.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9354
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:35 am 
 

Drugs that lower blood pressure are a godsend for certain withdrawal/anxiety symptoms because a lot of said symptoms are a direct result of high BP. Clonidine comes to mind...
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iamntbatman
Chaos Breed

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:55 am
Posts: 11128
Location: Tyrn Gorthad
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:38 pm 
 

Makes sense. Everyone knows the trope of the guy with high blood pressure getting all aggro and violent, but I reckon probably loads of people get really anxious instead.
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mrbskywalker
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:18 pm
Posts: 21
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:09 pm 
 

*clears throat* I have clubfeet+ social anxiety brought on by said club feet and for a few months now I think I might have some form of depression. I'm just gonna go now..
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13874
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 11:01 pm 
 

mrbskywalker wrote:
*clears throat* I have clubfeet+ social anxiety brought on by said club feet and for a few months now I think I might have some form of depression. I'm just gonna go now..

Had to look up club feet. Sounds bad, but from the one minute of research I did, it looks like it can be fixed with surgery. Is that a possibility for you?
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mrbskywalker
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:18 pm
Posts: 21
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:05 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
mrbskywalker wrote:
*clears throat* I have clubfeet+ social anxiety brought on by said club feet and for a few months now I think I might have some form of depression. I'm just gonna go now..

Had to look up club feet. Sounds bad, but from the one minute of research I did, it looks like it can be fixed with surgery. Is that a possibility for you?




I've had surgery on it when I was little but I still have a really bad limp and my leg muscles never developed right because of that I think. I still get laughed at because.of it pretty often tbh
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MikeyC
Official Greeter of Broken Hills

Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:16 am
Posts: 13874
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:11 am 
 

mrbskywalker wrote:
I've had surgery on it when I was little but I still have a really bad limp and my leg muscles never developed right because of that I think. I still get laughed at because.of it pretty often tbh

I'm sorry you still get laughed at about it, because that's not really fair. Nothing I type will fix it so I just hope that the negativity of the disability and the remarks don't get to you too badly.
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mrbskywalker
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:18 pm
Posts: 21
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:19 am 
 

MikeyC wrote:
mrbskywalker wrote:
I've had surgery on it when I was little but I still have a really bad limp and my leg muscles never developed right because of that I think. I still get laughed at because.of it pretty often tbh

I'm sorry you still get laughed at about it, because that's not really fair. Nothing I type will fix it so I just hope that the negativity of the disability and the remarks don't get to you too badly.


It already got to me. Other than the depression and Social anxiety I think the worst part was being labeled an emo lol
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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8598
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:53 am 
 

Woah I can imagine. I just have a bit of knock knee that's barely noticeable most of the time and I already get to hear shit about it occasionally. You probably get twenty times as much. Just remember that at least we're just retarded below our hips, not between our ears like the shit talking people. ;)
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mrbskywalker
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 12:18 pm
Posts: 21
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:42 am 
 

droneriot wrote:
Woah I can imagine. I just have a bit of knock knee that's barely noticeable most of the time and I already get to hear shit about it occasionally. You probably get twenty times as much. Just remember that at least we're just retarded below our hips, not between our ears like the shit talking people. ;)



yeah unfortunately. When I walk my left foot turns in and it makes me put like all my weight down on my right leg. Its hell sometimes. Like I've tripped in public so many times and it just makes you wanna die every time.
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splyu
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:09 pm
Posts: 351
Location: Europe
PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2017 3:57 pm 
 

mrbskywalker wrote:
droneriot wrote:
Woah I can imagine. I just have a bit of knock knee that's barely noticeable most of the time and I already get to hear shit about it occasionally. You probably get twenty times as much. Just remember that at least we're just retarded below our hips, not between our ears like the shit talking people. ;)



yeah unfortunately. When I walk my left foot turns in and it makes me put like all my weight down on my right leg. Its hell sometimes. Like I've tripped in public so many times and it just makes you wanna die every time.

When people make fun of you for that, you can be very sure they have huge problems of their own, which they try to alleviate any way they can, including such obviously stupid things as making fun of people for stuff they have no control over... those poor bastards.

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Pogo
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 2:06 am
Posts: 285
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 6:30 pm 
 

Need4Power wrote:
My doctor recently added a beta blocker in addition to my current anti-depression and anxiety meds. It has helped me a lot. Its main function is reduce blood pressure, and in doing so it does a great deal to reduce panic symptoms as well. Those moments where I freak out and feel overwhelmed with fear are gone. If you suffer panic attacks I highly recommend asking your doctor about taking a beta blocker.


Another issue to consider: hypertension is a potential side effect of a lot of medications, especially psych meds. Quite a few of the SSRIs and SNRIs I was put on made my blood pressure skyrocket. Wellbutrin can cause hypertension but it can also cause hypotension. Luckily for me I get the hypotension that brings me back down to a normal level, which is great since I'm high risk for cardiovascular issues (family history of heart issues that killed my biological father back in November).

So, basically, get your blood pressure screened frequently if you're on medications because you may need to adjust doses or add another medication for hypertension treatment.

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Need4Power
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:28 pm
Posts: 164
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:55 pm 
 

Man, the way our feelings change from day to day just seems completely unpredictable. I'm kinda down, but I can't really say why exactly. It just kind of happens where my mood goes up and down.

The thing that scares me is that it seems like I'm not really in control of things. I've been practicing some meditation lately, and we are told that our thoughts just come into our heads effortlessly and without cause. And that does indeed seem to be the case. But if that's the case, are we even in control of anything? I mean, based on this, I have good reason to doubt that I am even conscious at all. Oh I know experience thoughts, but if I'm not even in control of those thoughts, am I really "conscious"? Anyway, these types of thoughts bother me a bit.

All in all, I'm doing OK lately, which says a lot more than a ton of other people out there, and for that, I am thankful. Being OK is a hell of a lot better than being miserable.

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