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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 510
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:54 pm 
 

dystopia4 wrote:
Welp, just finished my 500th review. God, I'm a fucking nerd.

Still hungry for more? There are a lot nerds like you who want to read more of your reviews :-P

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 46
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:36 pm 
 

Who else is with me that Petrus Steele should stop writing? His stuff is too bland and sparse, not to mention that he seems to be laboring under the delusion that you need to review every single item in the bands discography in chronological order.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:20 pm 
 

I'm actually okay with the discography review order. I do wish he would put a little more time in highlighting what makes each album distinct though. It's also a little funny whenever he says that something is "too catchy."
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RestlessChild
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 8
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 4:48 pm 
 

From the latest Wheels Of Steel review: "Do You Really Need that Many Songs about Driving?"

Yes.

Also, the album is called WHEELS of Steel. What did you want? Songs about the grim reaper?

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 8466
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2019 7:57 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds calling for reviewers to stop writing is some much appreciated early morning comedy to get the day started.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 78
Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:52 pm 
 

I'm fine with the chronological review order too, so long as the reviews themselves are nice (see autothrall's Bolt Thrower reviews or Gas' discography series, for instance), but with Petrus_Steele I don't like his general style, the aforementioned "blandness and sparseness", and the eye-bleedingly awful English. so Lord_Of_Diamonds has a point, even if it's coming from Lord_Of_Diamonds.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 510
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 8:24 pm 
 

meshigene wrote:
I'm fine with the chronological review order too, so long as the reviews themselves are nice (see autothrall's Bolt Thrower reviews or Gas' discography series, for instance), but with Petrus_Steele I don't like his general style, the aforementioned "blandness and sparseness", and the eye-bleedingly awful English. so Lord_Of_Diamonds has a point, even if it's coming from Lord_Of_Diamonds.

I don’t mind someone doing a chronological discography review, but he could make it a bit more special by giving the reviews a reason to be chronological. I feel he’s mostly doing it for convenience.

By the way, what discography series have I done? I really can’t remember any except for a few brief ones with little-known bands in review challenges.

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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9129
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 4:50 am 
 

PS is kinda bland but there's nothing wrong with chronological discography reviews in theory (I wrote fuckin' 22 for Gargoyle so I'd be a massive hypocrite to suddenly be against it). The thing that makes him kind of annoying about it honestly seems to be solely restricted to the forums, where it seems to fuck his entire world up if the chronology isn't totally clear. Say a band releases full length albums in 2000, 02, 03, and 05, but the 03 album was actually written in the 90s, now what does he do? If his total confusion with Bolt Thrower is any clue, he simply short circuits and asks over and over again how he's supposed to do it as if anybody actually cares since they'll all be covered when the series is done anyway.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 5514
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 6:48 am 
 

That new Draconian Times review by Goflotsam hurts my brain.

Quote:
Paradise Lost coined the term gothic metal with their album Gothic but really didn't show signs of the genre until followups Shades of God and Icon.


Shades of God is arguably the band's most doom-inspired album; you can clearly hear some Trouble and Sabbath got injected into the guitar work. No gothic stuff on that one.

Quote:
"The Last Time" is another excellent number which I could describe as a mashup between Metallica and Depeche Mode. These two bands along with Godflesh are probably the big influences on Draconian Times.


Metallica I can understand but Depeche Mode and Godflesh? :confused:

Quote:
Even the keyboards provided by session musician Andrew Holdsworth are beautiful on this album with "Hallowed Land" in particular receiving praise in this regard. It's just such a beautiful album.

The beautiful thing about Draconian Times is that it came out a month before I was even born.


:durr:

Quote:
It's the perfect album to get into gothic metal or death-doom and arguably one of the greatest doom metal albums ever made. A stone-cold classic.


So a poppy gothic metal album is perfect to get into death-doom and at the same time it's also one of the best doom metal albums ever made? Right then.

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
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Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:15 am 
 

Very consistent ratings that guy.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:46 am 
 

I was intrigued who was reviewing all these albums that I liked. Then I saw the ratings and decided not to bother.

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Cat III
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:44 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:42 pm 
 

Discography reviews are cool, but it seems to be an obsessive compulsive thing with that Petrus guy. It's also less interesting when the reviewer does it for every (or most) bands they review. Part of the appeal is that it signifies the band must have something interesting about them for a reviewer to devote so much time to covering all their releases.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:13 am 
 

I'm sure DMhead777 is a pleasant enough person but man, the turns in this Maiden review series are breaking my heart.
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droneriot
incelgender

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:32 pm 
 

Death Angel seems to really suck, goflotsam didn't give them 100%.
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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 6:31 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
By the way, what discography series have I done? I really can’t remember any except for a few brief ones with little-known bands in review challenges.

Those may not be discography reviews in the Petrus_Steele sense, but I was thinking about your Paradise Lost, MDB and Witchery reviews where you did cover most of those bands' back catalogues.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 510
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 7:39 pm 
 

meshigene wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
By the way, what discography series have I done? I really can’t remember any except for a few brief ones with little-known bands in review challenges.

Those may not be discography reviews in the Petrus_Steele sense, but I was thinking about your Paradise Lost, MDB and Witchery reviews where you did cover most of those bands' back catalogues.

Ah, that’s a good shout. I guess those are bands that I care a lot about, so I wanted to write up most stuff. There wasn’t any intention to do a discography review, although I suppose I refer to other albums while talking about each one.

Really pleased that somebody read those :-D :-D

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meshigene
Metal newbie

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:31 pm 
 

Gothic_Metalhead reviews some great albums, but gawd do his reviews hurt to read. And I'm not talking about his English - which I think is more or less okay in terms of structure despite some awkwardness, still better than how some "native speakers" text :-D - but more about the points he makes. Like, does anyone else feel like some of his reviews seem like barely informed first impressions?
Especially the ones for Shining's "Halmstad", especially since the second paragraph, and Tiamat's "Wildhoney". I'm not fond of the Katatonia ones either, with "death metal influences" and "gothic metal" mentioned at some points, and the apology at the start of the "Tonight's Decision" review. (Not to mention I'm just triggered that he kinda bashed TD for being samey and the same as Discouraged Ones. :-D)

However, I like the structure of most of his reviews. So at least that's nice.
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Man, not everyone is jerking off to collages of Morpheus Descends, Timeghoul and Demilich in their basement.

Most of them are doing it to 'Left Hand Path' with the right hand (which is wrong).

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 510
Location: Behind the wall of fire
PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 9:53 pm 
 

meshigene wrote:
Gothic_Metalhead reviews some great albums, but gawd do his reviews hurt to read.
I'm not fond of the Katatonia ones either, with "death metal influences" and "gothic metal" mentioned at some points, and the apology at the start of the "Tonight's Decision" review. (Not to mention I'm just triggered that he kinda bashed TD for being samey and the same as Discouraged Ones. :-D)

I know what you mean. I actually wrote to him about the vocals on BMD and am PMing him about better listening habits for review writing, both because I love most of the albums he’s choosing and specifically because he thinks Tonight’s Decision is samey. (I’m of the opinion that it’s the most diverse Katatonia album except maybe The Fall of Hearts.)

However, I think I could probably defend calling that late ‘90s/early ‘00s era of Katatonia gothic metal, not only because of the atmosphere that the fairly depressed music generates but also because of Renkse’s occasional vocal influences from ‘80s goth rock and the way that they incorporated shoegaze into the riffing on Discouraged Ones. For a long time, I didn’t know how to classify them, and had albums 3-8 categorized as gothic metal on my ITunes. I think I’ve changed it to just metal now. I call the stuff after that progressive metal.

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NoSoup4you22
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:36 pm
Posts: 11
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:35 am 
 

I like that Bloodbound review... Gets into it fast, tells you what sets it apart, no overlong history lessons or attempts to look smart.

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Rhinosaurus
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:36 pm
Posts: 77
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 10:59 am 
 

MJJ712's Justice review was reactionary and rather funny, for sure. If there's enough criticism levelled at Master of Puppets and Justice, then there's clearly issues with those records - they're far from perfect - not even the best records from those years. At least they're better compared to Load, St. Angel, or Death Magnetic which are truly terrible.

Thinking about it, it's a bit like Disney Stars Wars fans completely dismissing the criticisms of Johnson's appalling movie; fan worship can really breed ignorance.

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 530
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:42 am 
 

Enjoyed Cosmic Mystery's Exhumation review, that'll be a tough act to follow.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:16 am 
 

BlackenedSally is talking about "the first three Pantera albums" and I'm just sitting here like "Oh, honey..."
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Lolpah
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:32 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:44 am 
 

Funnily enough he's technically almost correct as he's talking about their first three CD's and their actual first three albums were never released on CD (Power Metal was, though).

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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
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Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:40 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
However, I think I could probably defend calling that late ‘90s/early ‘00s era of Katatonia gothic metal, not only because of the atmosphere that the fairly depressed music generates but also because of Renkse’s occasional vocal influences from ‘80s goth rock and the way that they incorporated shoegaze into the riffing on Discouraged Ones. For a long time, I didn’t know how to classify them, and had albums 3-8 categorized as gothic metal on my ITunes. I think I’ve changed it to just metal now. I call the stuff after that progressive metal.

I was talking about Tonight's Decision specifically. (and most of their later stuff, really.) I dunno, it just never even felt "gothicky" to me, and I thought it sounded quite a lot like Mudvayne and Chevelle of all things when I first heard it. :D

I'm fine with calling 1994-99 Katatonia gothic, however. It's pretty well-known that they've had a lot of influence from goth rock, especially Fields of the Nephilim (those seem to be popular with BMers and metalheads in general...), since the very beginning. It's often evident, too, and then there's "Scarlet Heavens". :D
Rhinosaurus wrote:
St. Angel

well, that's a nice typo. :roll:
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zeingard wrote:
Man, not everyone is jerking off to collages of Morpheus Descends, Timeghoul and Demilich in their basement.

Most of them are doing it to 'Left Hand Path' with the right hand (which is wrong).

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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 530
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:35 pm 
 

Youtube: show


Dropping 20 reviews in one day. Damn BastardHead, you are one tough badass.
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:57 pm 
 

Truth is, I get a lot of promos and review/post them on my own blog before they're officially released, and ergo can't crosspost here until they are. I tend to go months just completely forgetting to move shit over and then just do it in one huge block.

Case in point, I reviewed Crypt Sermon this morning, the release date is two months from now, I'll probably remember to move it over in December, 2020.
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true_death
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 6:47 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:18 pm 
 

Really enjoyed that Athanasia review. Band fucking sucks. Funny anecdote, their previous incarnation Ascension was briefly based out of my hometown and I once saw them live in a typical shitty dive bar setting...the rockstar/diva antics they pulled were insane. They took at least 45 minutes to set up/soundcheck (!!!!!), and then left the venue to retrieve their "stage clothes" from the drummer's mom's house :lol:. All this to play in front of less than 15 people who were all sitting down. Somebody mentioned that the guitarist used to play in Five Flavor Fruit Punch, so I was naturally asked the guy about it afterwards (thinking: how does someone go from that...to this :lol:), and he bragged about how he "had gold records" from his time in the band and that they "were way more extreme" when he was with them :lol:. Five seconds of research revealed that he never even played on a single song...yikes!
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Five_Nails
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:40 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Truth is, I get a lot of promos and review/post them on my own blog before they're officially released, and ergo can't crosspost here until they are. I tend to go months just completely forgetting to move shit over and then just do it in one huge block.

Case in point, I reviewed Crypt Sermon this morning, the release date is two months from now, I'll probably remember to move it over in December, 2020.


I get what you mean by advance copies and all that but man you're a damn industrious writer and you're always ready to throw gallons of personality into your writing. That blows me away at the end of the day. I know the South Park reference was a bit of a dig with the video but really it was meant as much in jest as it was in awe. I'm definitely that fatass copy-pasting to metal-archives after a long sit dusting Cheetos off my man tits and archiving all of this inane text into backups that not even my loved ones will ever read after I'm dead.

Yours and Autothrall's blogs are regular reads for me because it shows such a breadth of critical writing, one from such a personalized and personality point of view and the other for its industry in its relative objectivity. Both you and Autothrall show some variants of reviewing in such broad ways and (though it never works when I'm looking at a blank page) remind me that I shouldn't keep overthinking every word in every review I write as long as the point hits its mark.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
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Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:39 am 
 

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
I'm sure DMhead777 is a pleasant enough person but man, the turns in this Maiden review series are breaking my heart.

Every time I see a Maiden review on the homepage I know it's him and I'm always like "please, be a good rating"... in vain.

This time he really surpassed himself by claiming to be "a sucker for these super long, story-driven songs" (case in point, "Alexander the Great"), just after deeming "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" a "long ass song". I'm not the biggest Maiden fan either, but man, he's really rewriting history sometimes.

In any way, I just feel that in the last months the overall review quality dropped considerably, with the obvious exception of the "big names" of this site... these recurring new reviewers just don't click with me, be it for grammatical errors or boring prose, they're simply uninteresting. I'm sure somebody could tell the same about my reviews, but I think (hope?) mine are not that bad. I'm just starting to see Petrus_Steele, Lord_Of_Diamonds, goflotsam more as a meme and less as serious reviewers. I'm not questioning their good faith, of course, it's just my impression.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:56 am 
 

I mean there's nothing wrong with his SIT review from a writing standpoint, his opinion is valid and whatever, but there's no shame in admitting you don't get it and then just not reviewing the stuff you don't get. Not everything needs to be published.
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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:01 am 
 

I'm not one to discourage somebody from continuing a review series but I really don't want him to turn into my senpai Seventh Son.
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TheBurningOfSodom
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:18 am 
 

I feel some people just need to take the whole thing with a lighter heart and be driven more by inspiration. A review you forced yourself to write isn't enjoyable for both you and us. When I did a Bulldozer discography review (okay, with 5 albums is also easier to digest), it obviously helped that I love each album for a different reason, but I still wanted to complete all the five reviews and check them different times before publishing them. If you convey the impression that you are writing about an album just because you have started the series and now you've got to complete it, you're doing it wrong I guess.
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Twisted_Psychology
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am 
 

Also, I remember getting that Athanasia promo before the release date and the shame behind it was the most palpable I've ever heard. Right behind the EP from that punk band fronted by Tony Hawk's kid.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:55 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Truth is, I get a lot of promos and review/post them on my own blog before they're officially released, and ergo can't crosspost here until they are.


I always have the same thing. Have you guys ever considered changing the setting so you can review albums before they're released?
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BastardHead
Worse than the PMRC

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:05 pm 
 

SweetLeaf95 wrote:
BastardHead wrote:
Truth is, I get a lot of promos and review/post them on my own blog before they're officially released, and ergo can't crosspost here until they are.


I always have the same thing. Have you guys ever considered changing the setting so you can review albums before they're released?


It wasn't always this way. This rule actually came about in 2008 after Cryptopsy's notable bad album got slammed with reviews before the release date. The change wasn't necessarily a reaction to it, but it was likely the catalyst that made the powers that be pull the trigger. It's probably less useful now because back then we were knee deep in the era of download blogs and constant leaks, and you could never be sure if you were hearing the final mix or a really shitty rip or whatever, so it was useful damage control from people making inaccurate claims (anybody who had Limewire in the mid-2000s can remember downloading tracks from Dream Theater's Octavarium that was actually all tracks from James Labrie's solo album, and I'm definitely sure we used to have a couple reviews that completely didn't realize that and reviewed the wrong thing).

It's probably less useful nowadays since streaming has so thoroughly destroyed the need for download blogs and all but the bigger p2p and torrent networks, and leaks seem to be way less common, but I'm still fine with it being the way it is right now because at the end of the day, MA is a database, not a promotional tool.
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SweetLeaf95
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:38 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
at the end of the day, MA is a database, not a promotional tool.


That makes sense. Interesting little piece of history there. I JUST missed the "limewire age" by a few years I feel.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 6:49 pm 
 

Pardon the randomness (and odd timeliness), but this , sirs, is rad:

https://elpais.com/elpais/2019/07/09/in ... viar_email

\m/, eh?

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kluseba
Making Metal Archives Reviews Great Again!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:05 am 
 

Congratulations to Sharkuel on his Batushka review. I haven't listened to the record yet and can't say whether I'm going to like the album or not. The three previous reviewers however basically just wrote that this isn't the real Batushka and that the album sounds bland which means nothing at all in regards to describing the music. Sharkuel actually gave me a pretty good idea of what the record sounds like. Granted, he already got criticized for this in another section of the forum but that was going to be expected.
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meshigene
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 6:29 am 
 

Did Akerthorpe just give something 10%? Is it even the same Akerthorpe? Was his account hacked? I'm confused.
_________________
zeingard wrote:
Man, not everyone is jerking off to collages of Morpheus Descends, Timeghoul and Demilich in their basement.

Most of them are doing it to 'Left Hand Path' with the right hand (which is wrong).

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