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hells_unicorn
Veteran

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:32 pm
Posts: 3053
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2021 1:01 am 
 

bayern wrote:
Hm, I'm not sure that he's aware of the forums here... maybe someone should enlighten him. And, this isn't because I'm looking for another head to fall here... in fact, it's probably kind of beneficial to have such controversial personas around.


Honestly, I'm not of a mind to give him any grief over not liking Individual Thought Patterns, it's just that his approach to formatting his reviews is a massive eyesore and his grammar and syntax needs to be cleaned up in certain places. I'm more interested in having some of the older turds that wouldn't pass today's standards be removed than have another Superchard debacle.
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morbert
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 1274
PostPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2021 2:59 am 
 

Personally, I avoid ᴎostalgiʞK
His Agathocles reviews are almost impossible to read (linguistically) and secondly he just gives me the impression he just does not really grasp the essence of old school grindcore, at all.
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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 335
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 3:50 pm 
 

Yep, I'm aware that I'm not good at writing, so well, on the other hand, the essence of grindcore is a really vast dish with lots of ingredients mixtures that I digest from old grind bands, if I manage to find those flavors in nowadays bands or are presented in "not that old" albums I explain the feeling I relate with aforementioned bands, I'm happy that people actually read my disgraces, rofl.

Edit: Thanks for pointing tho, I will try to be more readable / understandable since I really like to express what I hear, I'm glad someone gave me feedback in some manner.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 9:29 pm 
 

In fairness to ᴎostalgiʞK, your writing has improved, but I'm sure some of your older reviews could be a bit confusing. I remember reading your stuff a few years ago and it needed lots of work. Stick to it, though: the only way is up!
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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 335
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 10:06 pm 
 

Eddy! To be honest, you are one of the very users from the beginning that helped me to write, dude, I can recall having literally no clue of nothing or how to write anything!!, besides reviews sections I saw your posts and it was really nice finding you in some places in the forums like the poetry threads and such, nice and awesome days man!!! I am here like I am in the real word. I just try and fuck everything, I have fun!
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 11:14 pm 
 

ᴎostalgiʞK wrote:
Eddy! To be honest, you are one of the very users from the beginning that helped me to write, dude, I can recall having literally no clue of nothing or how to write anything!!, besides reviews sections I saw your posts and it was really nice finding you in some places in the forums like the poetry threads and such, nice and awesome days man!!! I am here like I am in the real word. I just try and fuck everything, I have fun!

Haha, I guess you're one of the only users here who knows my real name. I'm glad that some of our chats were useful, you always seem like a very genuine guy. And even if you're not going to be a prize-winning writer, "just having fun" is still a good reason to do reviews!
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 1618
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:45 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Haha, I guess you're one of the only users here who knows my real name.

It's in your site profile.
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King_of_Arnor wrote:
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2021 4:43 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Haha, I guess you're one of the only users here who knows my real name.

It's in your site profile.

Ah, so people do read that occasionally. Huh.
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2021 7:03 am 
 

You've been a suggested friend for months on Facebook for me and I only knew it was you because you've mentioned living in China before lol
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2021 10:31 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
You've been a suggested friend for months on Facebook for me and I only knew it was you because you've mentioned living in China before lol

Either you've not come up on mine or I've also forgotten what your name is. You can add me if you want me to get off that suggested list.
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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sourlows
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 6:12 am
Posts: 213
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2022 7:56 pm 
 

bitterman, I think they qualify more as trolling than they qualify as reviews. The scores are bombed to seek attention and disrupt the collective perception of the album's status (its average score). The content is sad because it's written well, but written from a place of extremely tryhard internet cynicism that places more emphasis on trends and culture than the music supposedly being reviewed. He uses an album to rant about his feelings on metal, not review the album. That's a blog, not a review. Would be happy to see them gone.

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Thy Shrine
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 11:37 pm
Posts: 1051
Location: Golgotha
PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 1:55 am 
 

Gonna throw in Evil_Allen mostly because every single review is always a soliloquy of him acting all high and mighty cuz he has a slightly different opinion than the norm, and to top it off he does it in the most insecure and defensive way I've ever read.

Akerfeldt_Fanboi is another one I don't particularly care for mostly because it just seems like lip service more so than an actual review, it never feels like it's their genuine opinion, the language just feels fake to me I guess.
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The Bard with Bright Eyes
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2021 8:48 am
Posts: 94
Location: Bosnia and Herzegovina
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2022 7:12 am 
 

Definitely seconding the OP regarding Human666. His St. Anger review killed something in my brain after I read it. And his Fates Warning reviews are just abominable.
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Lee Harrison
Metalhead

Joined: Mon May 30, 2022 6:28 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2022 12:34 pm 
 

The Bard with Bright Eyes wrote:
Definitely seconding the OP regarding Human666. His St. Anger review killed something in my brain after I read it. And his Fates Warning reviews are just abominable.

Review of Night on Broken is empty and offensive

For site and all the users and readers
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morbert
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 1274
PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2022 3:14 am 
 

I honestly often don't pay much attention who wrote a review. Unless I found it remarkably good or recognised my own views on an album in it or it gave me interesting new insights.
So in essence I don't really 'avoid' anyone. But over time I must admit I've noticed a few names with whom I almost always disagree and I tend no to read their stuff anymore as it would only waste my time.
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MetalCuresHeadaches
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:35 pm
Posts: 1150
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2023 9:36 pm 
 

I feel like Snxke is probably the worst of the reviewers from back in the early days of the site. Most of them are incredibly short, poorly written, and often barely even touch on the music they're suppose to be reviewing. There's a good reason more than 50 of his reviews have been purged in the oven fodder thread.

I always find myself in the minority with this one, but I find UltraBoris to be incredibly overrated. The majority of his reviews are brief and disposable, and often feel like they would have been purged years ago if they had been submitted by any other user. And I understand why he's so revered around here; things like the Master of Puppets review are legitimately funny. But those kind of gems are very few and far between in his overall output, and I get the feeling most of his fans have never actually delved into is backlog.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 1618
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2023 10:48 pm 
 

Boris absolutely fucking sucked as a writer; there's no way he was more than 16 when writing the majority of his shit. Aside from being immature (oh lordy, his Tempo of the Damned review is tough to read), he weighed everything based on the single statistic of how much thrash influence it had. A bizarre criterion. The one thing I'll give him credit for is he had an unmistakable writing style and voice.
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King_of_Arnor wrote:
I really don't want power metal riffing to turn into power metal yiffing any time soon.

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 7:59 am 
 

LawrenceStillman, he has such a horrible and painful writing style that he should just start copying reviews because no matter his style it will always be terrible just because he is behind the keyboard. Why his mother did not abort his sorry ass is beyond me

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Dullahan
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:17 pm
Posts: 193
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2023 11:45 pm 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Boris absolutely fucking sucked as a writer; there's no way he was more than 16 when writing the majority of his shit. Aside from being immature (oh lordy, his Tempo of the Damned review is tough to read), he weighed everything based on the single statistic of how much thrash influence it had. A bizarre criterion. The one thing I'll give him credit for is he had an unmistakable writing style and voice.


To be honest, I find him hilarious and always did. His review of Evergrey's The Inner Circle is a gem; the guy can't grasp or accept the fact that this "modern" power metal band isn't aping Judas Priest nearly enough, down to expecting Tom Englund to sing like Halford: "There isn't a single shriek to be found here". And yes, his obsession with thrash riffs has certainly transcended the realm of quirkiness, but sometimes he seemed at least mildly self-conscious about it. Remember that in his now-legendary MoP review, he said that if the album were to be reviewed on musicality alone, it would get a 60%-ish score.

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nightbreaker33
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:20 am
Posts: 610
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 7:09 am 
 

Quote:
To be honest, I find him hilarious and always did. His review of Evergrey's The Inner Circle is a gem; the guy can't grasp or accept the fact that this "modern" power metal band isn't aping Judas Priest nearly enough, down to expecting Tom Englund to sing like Halford: "There isn't a single shriek to be found here". And yes, his obsession with thrash riffs has certainly transcended the realm of quirkiness, but sometimes he seemed at least mildly self-conscious about it. Remember that in his now-legendary MoP review, he said that if the album were to be reviewed on musicality alone, it would get a 60%-ish score.


I only read his Anthrax review for the WCFYA album and it was very funny. The line "Holy blastballs Batman" while talking about "Black Dahlia" always kills me when I remember it. WCFYA is definetely their "mublanikcuftsrow"
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morbert
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:36 am
Posts: 1274
PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2023 3:23 pm 
 

nightbreaker33 wrote:
WCFYA is definetely their "mublanikcuftsrow"

Guess you never heard Stomp then....
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