Hey CHAIRTHROWER, Satan made you famous!!

http://www.facebook.com/100044383991149 ... KGu3l/?d=n

I wanted to say this, but you beat me to it!



That's pretty awesome!

Oh, wow! Doubly awesome day, having also gleaned a fellow worder's take on the non auto servicing Midas (kings)...

All things considered, Satan could've posted all 3 Earth Infernal writes, as they compliment each other superbly.

DanielG06's review of APOCALYPSE - Apon the Crimson Rivers is perfectly fine. I'm just wondering about investing energy into writing about a horrible Bedroom-BM-demo from 18 years ago. Beside that, tearing these demos apart must have been kind of a bullying hobby at the time - 8 reviews! And there must be thousands of such projects on the Archives, I assume.

It's an interesting thing to mention. It seems like the original reviews were written by writers of the time who were commenting on the project of another Archives user (OlympicSharpshooter mentions this), but I don't see why that would attract Daniel to write about it now...

Nattskog7's recent Worm review is a good one. The person knows how to write in an captivating manner and I'm definitely looking forward to more reviews. Good job!

Was thrilled to spot fellow Nattskog7's recent review of el Morgul Blade (even if his handle sounds like a new age kombucha) as I'd tried to put my dukes up in its regard, but fell flat and short attempting to formulate its sound in words - even my EP review of theirs seems a bit mealy-mouthed, looking back now. At first, when I read his Tower review, felt it was a bit flowery (and that they deserve a higher score!), but have to admit, it's a rare skill indeed to write such long epics without even mentioning or delving into individual tracks.

Also enthused about the new Cauchemar, yet find it sits, in quality, between both ulterior records, with the sophomore being my disco highlight.

Caspian's woman fronted beardcore review had me jonesing for a fag, as I'm all out, and am kicking myself for not stocking up last week during my exalted visit to parents back East, in Montreal, where you can get two packs of 20 for 20$ or two of 25 for 26 or so...here, in B.C., they're a ridiculous 16 $ a 20 pack! Plus, we've also the lame olive green embellishment for a few years already.

(Metantoine, if you glean this, know I'd considered reaching out, to meet for une biere; however, as I was only there for a week and residing in Dorval, plus I hadn't seen my folks in close to five years due to Covid (almost 15 seeing them together!), felt I owed them my time. I barely squeezed in a brief brew with my old pal Karl downtown on Wednesday, and still wish we'd met. If and when I go back, I'll make sure to hail you; if ever you trepsize down to Van Island, you can swing by here, in boring as Hell Langford (badly infrastructured, overly traffic dense, uncultured suburb of victorious Victoria).

P.S. Apparently, Rob Halford views music reviewers as "wrist merchants", so be careful what you say about him and the band!

Bro, you used to email me, you should have. I'm not super active on the forums anymore. I sure wouldn't go to Dorval though, that's for sure haha! Next time my dude.

Holy shit, someone mentioned me xD

In all honesty, I write most of my reviews for fun. I can't even remember how I found that demo, I just felt like writing a review for it because of how cheap the sound was / the fact that half of the demo doesn't even have a drum track. Like you said, I'm sure there are many bedroom releases out there that are just as bad, hopefully I don't decide to review another one because there's nothing better to do at 2am on a Thursday night...

.

Ah, as lame as it sounds, I wanted to email you, metantoine, but feared the usual bone headed Gmail security feature (which always pops up when emailing from a totally different region) would mess me up, as I couldn't recall what I'd initially set up ... No worries though, as I'll likely return again. (Compared to my rash greyhound bus 2013 foray, I had a great time there and left with a better image of my hometown then I'd cultivated over time.)

(a couple days later, as I'm vying to keep my review-to-forum feedback ratio 1:1)

Nice to see nightbreaker hit one of the park for our man (and newfound crew) Hercules...I'll duly check it out, as I'm due for some Herculean fare. By the way, "Buffaloish Meltdown"?!" What a great hypothetical band name! (Although I'm still baffled by his use of the word "porotic" in his redeemable Asphalt Lips review...)

Two not-so-positive reviews for The Key and Powerslave.

Personally, I feel like Bard argued his case a bit better than simonitro, despite me not agreeing with their views. I still really do love both of those albums, but in the case for The Key, I do slightly lean more towards their sophomore Thresholds.

Okay, I'm just going to mention the things I disagree with in The Bard with Bright Eyes review of the Nocturnus album.

It seems to me that one of the points he wants to make in the whole review is the belief that Nocturnus comes about in the same way as Megadeth, with Mike Browning getting kicked out of Morbid Angel and looking to create a band to go over them. As far as I know that's not the case, Mike left the band on his own because of an affair Trey had with Mike's girlfriend at the time, but he left the band in a good way and had a friendly contact with Morbid Angel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rEFSg1py18

This video is a rehearsal of Morbid Angel in 1990 and you can see during several parts Mike watching his old band practising while he is fooling around in front of the camera, it is clear that there was no bad atmosphere between him and the rest of Morbid Angel's members.

Another problem that "The bard..." seems to have with The Key is that there are songs that contain segments that are extremely similar to specific Morbid Angel songs, but I don't understand why this is a problem if Mike Browning was co-writer of several of the early Morbid Angel songs, for example Chapel of Ghouls, so although I don't know exactly I assume that the parts of Morbid Angel songs that sound in The Key are parts written by Mike himself.

I also don't agree with the use he says the keyboards are used, as if they are only used as an intro or outro. I agree that it is not the instrument that shines the most throughout the long play but there are songs where it does have a main function.

Go to 02:10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ak4gsUJk88

And those are my main issues with the review, there are other parts where I don't agree either but I consider them more subjective.

With that said, I'd love to read a review of The Bard... on Thresholds where Mike loses a lot of creative control and the role of singer and a Ethereal Tomb one where he's already out of the band.

a spitting review, the "The Key" one... not much to get from it if at all. The guy uses it to also spit at other bands, like At the Gates, Pestilence... and he calls "Spheres" death metal. Enough said.

Good to see somone reading my reviews! I really enjoyed the new Hercules album. You can see that with real drums and bass (although Victory also had real bass and it was actually played by the ex-singer of Axemaster Christopher Michael) the band transforms into a true heavy metal machine. All the next Hercules albums should be recorded on the same path. About the "porotic", I don't know if you mean it negatively or positively but it is a common used word in greek when somone does something becomes absorbed in one activity, in this case the Iron Maiden-inspired guitar melodies are porotic because you want to hear them again and again non-stop. So yeah, Hercules album probably the best Hercules release by far. The question is: do people in the english language mean porotic the same way as the greeks do?

Also special reference to bayern who finally brought a new Q5 review. The review was also interesting, not too long and too tiresome. I believe every reviewer here should reference some songs as examples and bayern did the exact thing. If he reviewed "Steel The Light" everything would come full circle. "Steel The Light" is iconic! Also I don't know what Q5 means... Probably Quick five?? Because five members played on the first demo and album and they can play fast????

I had to check 'porotic' online, but it is described as a kind of medicine. I'm not sure which word you are looking for, seems to be something like 'addictive', right?

Yes that's it.

As a reward for your gentile word dissemination - I got the gist of porotic, although at first, I thought you meant "filled with holes, like swiss cheese i.e. lacking - here is another grandiose "p" word, with all its synonyms and cinnamons (some of which are quite stellar, if I may say so myself!):

https://www.powerthesaurus.org/pinguid

Also, I've been duly cementing my hold on both Lucretia and Tornado Of Souls tablature (in fact, the former is the tougher track, especially languid wedge of opening peccadillo), discounting the super wild Friedman solos, which I'll hold off on until further notice...yet, I really dig Mustaine's complicated and quirky, finger twist riffing style; Vortex is another humdinger that is a lot fun and addictive to play.

Hey, thanks buddy, but I prefer to read someone else's take on "Steel the Light", cause I know how mine would sound like... I'd personally rate it a tad higher than "New World Order". It's a very good beginning for the band, yes. And I'm curious to see/read someone's opinion about it.

And yes, the band name is an enigma... guess we need to write to the guys... it surely is better than, say, U2, or UB40... but still.

Just gleaned NDB's Pluvia review and am left in consternated wonderment at Mina M.'s gender, as her profile lists as "male" but in the photo, I'd swear she looks rather womanly. Who knows, anymore, in these days in age? (Yet another great "P" word for us to play with, none the less.)

Big bad bayern! Quartz has a new one out called On The Edge Of No Tomorrow, and so far as can tell, is further kick-ass old fart doozie (alongside 2016's must-and-will-be-purchased online for full exposure Fear No Evil); I've always wanted to review Quartz; here's a perfect non-photo opportunity!

Go ahead, brother... cover yourself with quartz... from top to bottom. I promise to lurk in the vicinity and guard this holy ceremony... and not as an innocent bystander.

Re: porotic, another Greek to chime in!

It does not mean addictive actually. Literally it means turning hard (actually the root of the word is the substance teeth are made of) but it was used to mean becoming insensitive, with no compassion, no feeling, kinda like "heart turning to stone". But over the years it has taken quite the opposite meaning and is heavily used by metalheads! It means becoming very passionate, berserk almost - like being so frantic you don't feel a thing, see? So, a piece that has that effect is "porotic". Definitely does not mean anything close to that in English though!

TILL NEXT TIME FOLKS

robotiq's mixed review for For Victory

I'll admit that I've sort of waned my interest in that specific album, but it is by no means a 60%. Not even close. Even the worst Bolt Thrower albums are still a lot better than the entire discographies of some death metal bands.

''Bolt Thrower by the numbers'' sounds like a more appropriate title for Those Once Loyal.

I find it a fairly logical, loyal follow-up to the extraordinary "IVth Crusade". It's not as compulsively brilliant, but is still a solid album... and the title-track is a roaring blast.

Indeed, it is better than entire discographies of most death metal bands, but there are a lot of death metal bands out there.
It is a '3 out of 5' record for sure, hence the 60%.
Tempted to do a Bolt Thrower discography run.

I'd say go with the discography run if you feel like doing it. I've done a couple of them before, and it's really fun to reflect on the band's whole discography, especially one that have various sounds and style.

Can concur. Also, seconding the recommendation. Bolt Thrower has quite the discography.

The last part of Annable Court's review for Unhallowed got me laughing pretty hard, ngl.

Lars Stian’s Kvist review is pretty cringe. He thought that ''Gayhem''and ''Dimmu Borgay'' were too good to not be included in his review. You’re gonna have to find new jokes bud.

For real, though, I don't even think those would be considered funny in 2009.

It's as if you read my mind, Felix, in regards to feverish brain matter - I've been actually musing about reviewing them for some time; now, it looks like the shirked Face To Face is about to get some love...I also received a digital olive branch from Dave Frazer, the lord behind Pillaging Villagers' folsky thrasher (or something other!), so I'll be joining fellow solicited ranks, in such regard.

Also spot checked the brief but true review for Sortilege's Metamorphose...word! (Nice Danzig 'view, as well, there.)

(I had to repost my olden review for it today, as I'd originally hit up the English version, which wasn't sitting right with me - the French one is way better...)

I do, dear Chairthrower, I do.

I enjoyed reading that Sphinx review. Good job, Felix 1666!

Nice to see Canada's Tales Of Medusa getting some love...good job, casp(er)ian!

About to sample it on Monday morning bus ride - where I pray to re-bump into that chill East Indian woman I wish I'd done a better job of securing coordinates, but it's a tough call when you aim to keep the old creep factor at bay, whilst rapidly bemused onlookers pine for your a) bold success or b) dismal "chou blanc" (metantoine gets the gist...).

In other unrelated news, am aghast at just how much Slapped Ham's net worth is, say, around 2.77 million...imagine if us lowly wrist merchants were paid such princely sums for (non) visual self-acclamation!

I'm quite astonished that the last four Silencer - Death Pierce Me reviews, including the latest one, have all been positive.

The negative Caladan Brood review is amusing to see with the Summoning discography review that Slater is doing, especially with the comment about guitar solos being commercial apparently?

I'm not doing a discography run for Summoning for now at least. The Minas Morgul one was more of a one time thing, though I might get around to reviewing their other albums later on.

As much as I dig my fellow namesake's spiel on JPs Ram it Down (which, for life of me, can't translate to French!)*, am a little troubled by fact he failed to poke fun at, or even mention "Heavy Metal", song blessed with most pedestrian track name known to man, machine and minstrel, alike...

*Haha, the generic online English-to-French babble-fish suggested a most suggestive: "Enfoncez-le!"

This week had some interesting reviews. The "User Has Joined Your Channel" band, while its concept and thematic approach on discord is sort of funny, at least the guy knows how to play
guitar to a metronome even if the songs sound very similar. I know it's grindcore, but If he made the songs a little bit longer and made them sound different, more grindcore fans would like them. Overall "User had joined your channel" is an interesting project and much better than the ridiculous OwO grindcore band with its disgusting anime gore lyrics and tentacle porn. And "kvlt Loli"? Hahahaha. But blame most Japanese animation studios who have dozens of pe*os working there. Very sick people. Also I saw there was a review of the first album 'Manslayer" by feminazi metal band Thrash Queen. I have heard some samples of it and it is worse than the Ashes to ashes album by the fake Thrash Queen. At least fake Thrash Queen gave love........................... IN ZE REFRIGERATOR!