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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 7131
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2022 11:34 am 
 

Surprised that this review got accepted; https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tie/348473

Three paragraphs only and only one that gives somewhat of a description.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2022 4:57 pm 
 

Several extremely brief and somewhat messy reviews from an old user. The others I didn't link in the spoiler are slightly longer and with a more decent musical description but they might be worth a look as well.



colin040 wrote:
Surprised that this review got accepted; https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tie/348473

Three paragraphs only and only one that gives somewhat of a description.

Sweetie is actually a Scribe so it didn't really get accepted, but I reckon he can keep things too short from time to time. I recall reading even several single-paragraph reviews by him. I guess they're ultimately fine but I find them a bit frustrating as well.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1397
Location: China
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2022 12:22 am 
 

colin040 wrote:
Surprised that this review got accepted; https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tie/348473

Three paragraphs only and only one that gives somewhat of a description.

Yeah, this one doesn't do it for me either. Admitting in the last paragraph that he can't put his finger on what's wrong kind of sums it all up there. Usually Sweetie's mid-length reviews are good for a quick read, this one just doesn't have the cut.
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The Bard with Bright Eyes
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2021 8:48 am
Posts: 94
Location: Bosnia and Herzegovina
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2022 6:43 am 
 

Slater922 wrote:
Okay, if we're gonna be removing Boris's reviews, at least save them on the Wayback Machine before you post them here. I'm an archivist at heart, and I do try and preserve these reviews as much as I can before they get 404'd, and for one of my main inspirations in writing MA reviews, I'd like to keep some of his work saved.


You can find some of his deleted reviews here.
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Klaagzang
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:36 am
Posts: 78
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2022 11:47 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... che/40006/

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Metantoine
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Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12015
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2022 12:05 pm 
 

colin040 wrote:
Surprised that this review got accepted; https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tie/348473

Three paragraphs only and only one that gives somewhat of a description.

I sent it back. Sweetie is a scribe so his reviews are automatically approved.
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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1062
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2022 3:17 pm 
 

I guess even the veteran reviewers sometimes drop a half-assed one :lol: I'll probably just nuke it entirely.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 7131
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2022 4:05 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... um/113278/

Super brief!

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orphy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 06, 2004 11:24 pm
Posts: 403
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2022 7:23 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 66/1637200

Barely anything in this review is about the album. When it does get to the album, it's a few brief sentences with comparisons to some other bands, and that's about it.
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 7131
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2022 2:22 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ome/94901/

Brief!

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:20 am 
 

Probably a dumb question, but what should we do with those old split reviews that deliberately only talk about one band on the release? Is that still considered OK?

An example being: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... der/148817 but I'm pretty sure I'd stumbled upon some other ones in the past.
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robotiq
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 am
Posts: 211
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2022 12:56 pm 
 

TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
Probably a dumb question, but what should we do with those old split reviews that deliberately only talk about one band on the release? Is that still considered OK?


My view, for what its worth, is something like this:
- If the split record has more than one band listed on the site, then you should cover all bands listed on the site.
- If the split record has only one band listed on the site then there are two options. Either (a) focus on that band alone, or (b) cover both/all the bands and use it as a fun excuse to talk about stuff that would never get covered otherwise.

I've done both in the past.
Here (https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Confusion/Full_of_Life_-_Full_of_Live/657603/) I only covered the one band listed on the site because I wanted to focus on them properly (though, since I wrote that, another band got accepted to the site so I should probably update it).
Here (https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Bolt_Thrower/Polka_Slam_-_Crisis_Point/113277/) I covered all four bands despite only one of them being listed, just because I wanted to talk about punk and ska for a bit.

No idea if that is the 'right' approach, but it worked for me.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2022 6:22 am 
 

Seems legit enough, actually. Probably there isn't even an explicit rule about the matter, such is the variety of splits. Thanks for clarifying!
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Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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kluseba
Making Metal Archives Reviews Great Again!

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:36 am
Posts: 872
PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 4:24 am 
 

In addition to several spelling mistakes, this review has some homophobic and misogynistic remarks that aren't acceptable in my book: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rtido/2095

Here are some quotes:

''Oh, and you sound like a fag!''

''I thank God that this CD doesn't include picure. Now THAT would be hideuos -because even if the other band member are allright, Tony looks like a tall five-penny whore with beard whose nervous and insecure performance is just so embarrasing to watch, that I wonder how the guy can survive after a gig without killing himself.''
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 1776
PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2022 9:15 am 
 

kluseba wrote:
In addition to several spelling mistakes, this review has some homophobic and misogynistic remarks that aren't acceptable in my book: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rtido/2095

Here are some quotes:

''Oh, and you sound like a fag!''

''I thank God that this CD doesn't include picure. Now THAT would be hideuos -because even if the other band member are allright, Tony looks like a tall five-penny whore with beard whose nervous and insecure performance is just so embarrasing to watch, that I wonder how the guy can survive after a gig without killing himself.''

This review definitely reads like a bad review from 2003, particularly with that homophobic sentence.
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Dembo
Dumbo

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:58 am
Posts: 2039
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2022 6:23 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... n666/68424

I feel this one doesn't describe much, but mostly just throws out bitter words like "Testasuck" "sucky", "pathetic", "annoying". Also a strange comment where the thinks this sounds like an imitation of Metallica's self-titled album, despite the big difference in sound.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2022 7:00 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Guy/158521

Kinda short and vague. Also, since when are acoustic breaks a throwback to glam metal?
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 7:23 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... etal/72131

A huge wall of text track-by-track that's tiresome to read. The author having been Dursted makes me think deleting it wouldn't be an irreparable loss...
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:34 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... olnick/743

Another very old, huge track-by-track, plus the formatting is a mess.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2022 11:13 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147

One of Boris' shortest? That is quite something :lol: it doesn't say anything, really.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 5:40 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 69_/481697

I've probably posted it before but really, an obnoxious review whose main point is constantly (and I mean, constantly, at least once every paragraph) referring other people's opinions and discrediting them, often just repeating the same things. The reviewer even admits at one point that he 'just couldn't bear to leave this album at a 0%, because its absolutely not a zero and people are just being ridiculous'.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1062
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:18 am 
 

Amongst reading Twisted_Psychology's incredible review on Ghost's debut, it made me scroll back and see what else people had to say, and this one is sheer garbage:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 403/377356

There are like, 3 sentences that KINDA describe the music, the rest is a combo of how it isn't what they expected, references to other bands and how it isn't as good as those bands, and an entire paragraph bitching about how everyone talks about Ghost too much. No idea how this ever passed.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 1429
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 3:26 am 
 

I really liked that Ghost review as well. Spot on assessment of the vocals and how they came to be in the band.
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FontaL
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2021 4:07 pm
Posts: 21
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 2:41 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... capeda/476
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... erdue/1393
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147

I don't know which is worse but I think Ultraboris' one should be removed for sure.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 5:38 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ible/16656

Not bad at all but maaaybe the last sentence is a bit... problematic?

Reviewer, in 2008 wrote:
Maybe we'll get lucky and Bush will invade Belarus next, it might not be as entertaining as Iraq, but if even one member of this band died it would be worth the trouble.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 11:40 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rian/95437

Another one that holds up pretty decently, but the formatting is an eyesore.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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Darth_Roxor
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:51 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2022 12:45 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tch/154734

There's really no other valid reaction to this text than "Why was this review accepted". The only things it bothers to mention regarding music are "recycled galloping riffs" and "Tim Owens sucks", while the rest is some kind of nonsensical wank that doesn't even have a grip on reality.

I mean just take this:

Quote:
This suffers from in-your-face and unapologetic American patriotism which comes off as nothing more than sheer ignorance and racism. We’re talking never leaving America and believing it’s the greatest country ever with no flaw's ignorance, while being completely sheltered and isolated in a bubble. The same stupidity people who think Africa is a country or all Asian people know karate would show. Throw in classic vague conspiracy theory garbage like “true evil grows in you” and “you’re just a brainwashed fool” while you're at it, Jon. Look at that, the conspiracy theorist is calling the listener a sheep, so captivating.


Can anyone please point me to this supposed evil xenophobic racism in The Glorious Burden? To the conspiracy theory garbage?

Or better yet, if TGB is supposed to be all about "never leaving America", then how come it has songs like Waterloo? Attila? Red Baron? Hello? Is there a doctor on board?

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 337
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2022 8:47 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... e_Fall/304

I have trouble imagining one of these make the cut today... also most other old reviews by this user are similar, full of typos and awkward stuff all around.
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gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Egypt and space, the 2 most interesting fantasy worlds

It's the dawn of descending...

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1062
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2022 2:09 pm 
 

Looks like this thread gets pretty exclusively ignored now
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 444
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2022 8:19 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Doctor/365

Admits to not having even listened to the whole album, fails to mention a single factor besides drum production
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thePowermetalLynx
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 7:57 am
Posts: 120
Location: China
PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2022 10:17 pm 
 

Says literally nothing: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... Death/9414
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Red_Death
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:51 pm
Posts: 857
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2022 11:52 am 
 

Not sure if this is the right thread to raise this issue, but I noticed a weird mistake in this review for White Ward's False Light:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/White_Ward/False_Light/1035070/Steppenwolf1997/1516822

There's basically a whole paragraph appearing twice ("...we must highlight the strength and presence of the singer's voice...").
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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 7131
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2022 2:06 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147

Basically comes down to ''good riffs, poor songs'' but he doesn't describe the issue in too much detail.

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