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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 35140
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2023 8:44 am 
 

Eh if you're spending multiple days arguing that literally every Pantera fan is a toxic gym bro who beats women or something, that's one thing, but the way BH did it here seemed to fit and just be done for humor.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2023 11:18 am 
 

I knew even before reading I'd be rewarded by BH's latest wordspew...as I've now the words "catawampus" and "antimemetic"* to slot within ever expansive vocab!

*Although upon googling, was met with "antiemietic" i.e. that which prevents hurling (not curling).

Also, it's pretty cool how "Djental Plan" was written the day I went to the dentist!

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2023 11:37 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
*Although upon googling, was met with "antiemietic" i.e. that which prevents hurling (not curling).


Lol I dread the consequences of introducing this rabbit hole to the kaleidoscope inside your skull, but I was actually referencing something from the SCP Foundation's universe. Assuming you haven't heard of it, the SCP Wiki is basically a hub for short stories based around the SCP Foundation, which is a shady super duper mega secret organization that works to contain various "anomalies". A disc that opens new dimensions when placed on a mirror, a stairwell in a university that goes down for seeming infinity, a town that got eaten by sentient blobs of flesh, a big fuckin' lizard that won't die, stuff like that. Basically just one of the various directions that creepypastas evolved into. In that world, an antimemetic anomaly is a class of things that self censor; things that make you forget about them the very instant you learn about them. In the review, it was basically just an obtuse nerdass way of saying the album wasn't very memorable, lol.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 10:28 am 
 

Thanks for the explanation! (Again those two "wise" words have just earned themselves prime chair real estate...)

As a tribute, here is a tube link to Action Lab (random, I know), He-of-the-easy to understand yet rather mind wedgieing science projects!

https://www.youtube.com/@TheActionLab/videos

(Plus, the guy's genially nerdy narration is actually sort of therapeutic!)

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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8854
Location: Yorkshire
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 3:37 pm 
 

BastardHead nailed it on the Messhuggah. Well-articulated and, tellingly, I've never heard anyone explain why they're interesting without having to dissect the music on a time-signature level, too.
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Valandil_79
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:16 pm
Posts: 71
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 4:16 pm 
 

Autothrall pretty much sums up Machine Head with his review of Kingdom.

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Defenestrated
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2022 1:50 pm
Posts: 295
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 4:39 pm 
 

Acrobat wrote:
I've never heard anyone explain why they're interesting without having to dissect the music on a time-signature level, too.


Well, I have a thimbleful of talent (to quote Mick Foley) when it comes to reviewing music, but I'd say what drew me to Meshuggah is the vibe, the "feel" - moments of unbridled rage on the first few (pre-Nothing) albums, which were subsequently lost or toned down (hence my initial disappointment); but I've always found them to have something of an inhuman alien or cyborg-mercenary sort of quality, with the leads and rhythmic quirks creating a damaged, warped, sci-fi atmosphere. I could see it being "disorienting" if I tried to nod along to it, but I don't; I just take it in, like any music, while being vaguely aware that there's some super-technical whatever at work. (Like I said, music theory is not my thing.)

I can also see it as "devoid of feeling," sure, but in a way that's comparable to industrial music. (But then, a lot of industrial music does nothing for me, so sure, it's going to be hit or miss.) YMMV as to whether they over-emphasize the rhythm-bending, making that the focal point of their music and becoming a predictable gimmick band. And as with any big and unusual band, there'll be annoying mega-fans who get carried away with the analysis and make it out into something you have to be "deep" and "gifted" to "truly" understand. Thankfully I'm not often exposed to them.

I don't know if any of that qualifies as an explanation, but that's my experience with them anyway. I'm sure it made a large difference that I wasn't over-familiar with extreme metal when I first heard them - so, I have the "novelty" and "nostalgia" factors.


Last edited by Defenestrated on Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Valandil_79
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:16 pm
Posts: 71
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:23 pm 
 

Autothrall's straight to the point, providing the relevant info, and not overly long.

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Valandil_79
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:16 pm
Posts: 71
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:30 pm 
 

Oh yeah, Just read Ultraboris' Master of Puppets review... He's so bang on. A few bands/labels might have looked at that as a blueprint, coz it shipped units, but it didn't kill metal, though. And, it's a 6-7/10 record. I think he said it's about a 6.5.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
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Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 10:11 am 
 

Following my read of them (The) Gauntlet reviews, I feel the need to preemptively toss down my own glove with:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/W ... 14/1065176

(as in, you guys need to check this out!)

The thing is, right now, I don't want to break my ongoing string of dual perspectives (of which the second half of last week's is earmarked for this weekend or so) so feel free to have at 'er!

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 10:32 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Following my read of them (The) Gauntlet reviews, I feel the need to preemptively toss down my own glove with:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/W ... 14/1065176

(as in, you guys need to check this out!)

The thing is, right now, I don't want to break my ongoing string of dual perspectives (of which the second half of last week's is earmarked for this weekend or so) so feel free to have at 'er!

Not to worry Chair, I have actually written a Whirlwind review for another publication and am only waiting for that to come out elsewhere before I drag it to here.
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Forever Underground
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 7:35 am
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2023 8:29 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
It bugs me because I so want to reach 1000 reviews (before 2026) but feel I've finally ran out of steam for good...Also, the longer one takes a "break", the harder it is to jump back in (the fire).

HELP!

(Does anyone else feel like it feels like they've to pump out a perfect review?!)

I feel quite identified with what you say, usually if I go a long period without writing, the first reviews I write once I'm back to writing are going to be more inconsistent than usual.

I also identify with what you say about trying to write the perfect review, not because I literally want to write a perfect review but because I have the need to write something really good. And that's the reason why I'm stuck at the moment, when I had been writing for a year and a bit I did notice an improvement compared to my first attempts but nowadays I feel that my level is not progressing and that I'm not getting better no matter how hard I try.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2023 11:46 am 
 

Maybe, as sage morbert claims, one doesn't even need to try, but simply express themselves how they feel like in the moment...(super smiley emoji), which I'm about to do soon, once I'm done watching the latest seasons of I Am A Killer, a grim but morbidly fascinating Netflix production (I always philosophize at the end of each episode in choosing what or who to believe, while sorting out my sentiments accordingly. In other words, some of the cases you can relate to, yet there are a few which are quite crapulous and unforgivable.)

Happy to hear your thoughts on it though, and I agree, it's not so much as writing the perfect review as simply writing a great one!

By the way, gas, you just know I'm whirlwinding right now.

*Aargh, I'm facing the same challenges in reviewing Friends Of Hell as Death Penalty, if not worse. I almost feel like I'm writing my very first review or something along those lines...The words simply won't flow! (Can I use my one "shitty review allowed" card today?)

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 5:42 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
*Aargh, I'm facing the same challenges in reviewing Friends Of Hell as Death Penalty, if not worse. I almost feel like I'm writing my very first review or something along those lines...The words simply won't flow! (Can I use my one "shitty review allowed" card today?)

In somewhat related news, my first ever "real boobs on show" t-shirt was purchased this week, and it's Death Penalty!

I think you can get 1 "shitty review" card per quarter, you're probably due one.
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Razakel
Nekroprince

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:36 pm
Posts: 6229
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 6:13 pm 
 

From the new D666 review:

Quote:
Several albums into their career, they've reemerged triumphantly and here they showcase their intent to Never Surrender after being branded with every pejorative label the pathetic wokelings of the modern metal (and normie) scenes could conjure. KK Warslut and the boys rise above it all with this wrecking ball of an album.


Is this kind of embarrassing nonsense really acceptable in reviews here? I didn’t think so.

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 6:56 pm 
 

In regards to latent Destroyer 666 review, permit me the fatherly gesture of pointing out that within this riotous phrase "The lyrics are obviously where the band comes into conflict with the overly sensitive politically correct m(asses) who apparently can't imagine the idea of someone who' spent nearly 4 decades in extreme metal not bending the knee to the mob." an (m) should preclude said asses. (The whirlwinder emojicon here!)

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 595
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2023 8:11 am 
 

Razakel wrote:
Is this kind of embarrassing nonsense really acceptable in reviews here? I didn’t think so.

I'm not fully aware of all the controversies involving KK, but if those included dangerous ideologies and the reviewer is blatantly condoning them, it might (should) be nuked.

Regardless of that, some statements in said review are fairly ridiculous, at the very least.

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
an (m) should preclude said asses

You just don't get away with a wrong parenthesis usage when Mr. Chairthrower is around, don't you? :lol:
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DoomMetalAlchemist
Veteran

Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:10 am
Posts: 2849
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2023 11:07 am 
 

TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
Razakel wrote:
Is this kind of embarrassing nonsense really acceptable in reviews here? I didn’t think so.

I'm not fully aware of all the controversies involving KK, but if those included dangerous ideologies and the reviewer is blatantly condoning them, it might (should) be nuked.

Regardless of that, some statements in said review are fairly ridiculous, at the very least.

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
an (m) should preclude said asses

You just don't get away with a wrong parenthesis usage when Mr. Chairthrower is around, don't you? :lol:


Clearly this guy is not a Reagers-era Saint Vitus fan:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Saint_Vitus/Hallow%27s_Victim/17772

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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2023 11:31 am 
 

Okay, this'll likely be my last forum post for awhile, as that review-to- (whimsical) post ratio is suffering...but thanks DMA for suggesting yet another target of the dual perspective - although, I'm literally whirlwind-busy these days with beginning-of-year clerical crap, you know, the migraine inducing redtape/bureaucratic shtick which involves downtown dentist/meth(adone) doctor appointments, stressful, on hold forever phone calls with government agencies, deadlines up the ying yang and so on...but I'll be back (Term style!).

(Man, it's so bad I even have to eschew work this week; it's a good thing my boss is sensible.)

In terms of actual review foruming, O-thrall is literally aflame - that elusive benchmark is just around the corner. I really dug the four he just posted, as they're compact and informative, with just the right amount of (Rob Zombie) metaphors...Oh, you've got to dig NDB's Arkham Asylum comparison as well!

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2338
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:39 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Okay, this'll likely be my last forum post for awhile, as that review-to- (whimsical) post ratio is suffering...but thanks DMA for suggesting yet another target of the dual perspective - although, I'm literally whirlwind-busy these days with beginning-of-year clerical crap, you know, the migraine inducing redtape/bureaucratic shtick which involves downtown dentist/meth(adone) doctor appointments, stressful, on hold forever phone calls with government agencies, deadlines up the ying yang and so on...but I'll be back (Term style!).

See you soon, CHAIRTHROWER.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 595
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2023 9:51 am 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
In terms of actual review foruming, O-thrall is literally aflame - that elusive benchmark is just around the corner.

Seems like his New Year's resolution was to finally reach that, and damn if he's grinding. Only one review to 5000. What a legend. Wonder if he's working on something special for this next one?
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2023 11:15 am 
 

TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
In terms of actual review foruming, O-thrall is literally aflame - that elusive benchmark is just around the corner.

Seems like his New Year's resolution was to finally reach that, and damn if he's grinding. Only one review to 5000. What a legend. Wonder if he's working on something special for this next one?

Wow, this is big :hyper:
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2023 10:58 am 
 

Imagine! Lord Thrall holds the Guinness Book Of World Records title for most heavy metal reviews by anyone on the planet! Can it get any cooler?!

(https://loudwire.com/rock-metal-guinness-world-records/)

Our mod gods need to notify the organization...double duly!

Okay, maybe there's some yegg out there who's tragically unaware of MA yet who's written more? Ha! I don't think so...Who knows, He might even surprise us with a rare (yet not quite unheralded) 100%er.

Also, I'm mighty impressed by LedZep2112's sophomoric review for Megadeth's latest, which now makes me want to finally hear it.

Welcome to the illustrious club, kid!

*Chaser Of Dragons' Metal Inquisitor slab also turned my head (around).


Last edited by CHAIRTHROWER on Sat Jan 21, 2023 7:35 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2338
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2023 2:00 pm 
 

Liked this review of EOTF by Daniel. I guess he's doing a discography retrospective of the band given the review is titled Suffocation I, so I'm looking forward to hearing his thoughts on the rest of the albums.
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Lee Harrison
Metalhead

Joined: Mon May 30, 2022 6:28 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2023 9:08 pm 
 

The Bard with Bright Eyes at the end of review of Deicide The Serpent of the Light wrote

“Maybe you'll like it if you're immature, angsty and have no standards for death metal (or music in general). I'm way past that phase in my life and I'd rather not revisit it.“

So sorry to read that,because I like that album,not their best but a good album and I’m not immature…

I believe the lyrics are awful,Immolation did pretty well vs cristianity but I enjoy the music
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2023 2:50 pm 
 

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeee! Mark ye ole calendar, as St.Pat's Day is gonna rule!

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/N ... er/1106343

(There are no actual words to describe how elated I am right now.)

Oh, I loved the Skid Row review, twist, even before reading it...you nailed it at the end when describing Slave To The Grind as "lightning in a bottle".
(Now, I've the killer chorus to contend with!)

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Twisted_Psychology
Metal freak

Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 6256
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2023 4:19 pm 
 

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeee! Mark ye ole calendar, as St.Pat's Day is gonna rule!

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/N ... er/1106343

(There are no actual words to describe how elated I am right now.)

Oh, I loved the Skid Row review, twist, even before reading it...you nailed it at the end when describing Slave To The Grind as "lightning in a bottle".
(Now, I've the killer chorus to contend with!)


Thanks! I've been wanting to do a writeup for Slave to the Grind for some time now so that was a fun one to get in. I was very tempted to do a full series for their whole discography when the new one came out but the Solinger albums seemed like they would've been a whole ordeal. I might end up doing it anyway, they've got an interesting run of albums.
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Valandil_79
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2022 1:16 pm
Posts: 71
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2023 1:37 pm 
 

Quite like Hames Jetfield bolding those album and song titles. I suspect a very subtle dig at one Danish drummer.

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Lee Harrison
Metalhead

Joined: Mon May 30, 2022 6:28 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2023 8:50 pm 
 

How can Disincarnate Dreams of a Carrion take 0?

World without god
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Forever Underground
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 7:35 am
Posts: 1137
Location: Galiza
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 5:19 pm 
 

I haven't listened to that album in a long time, so maybe it has grown on me, but when I did I thought it was one of the most boring death metal albums I've ever heard in my life.

I've always had the feeling that the perception of James Murphy over time has changed, in the early 2000's every time I read someone they referred to him as some sort of King Midas who turned everything he touched into gold, but today I don't see him as being so revered or absent of criticism.

And even so, the review that gives him a 0 is from Bitterman, so there's no need to be too scandalised by it.
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 7:20 pm 
 

A little birdie informed me of yet another highly anticipated March release, by none other than Witchtower!

(Enclosed is a sampler.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXTCyLNtD0Q

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2338
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:03 am 
 

Good review of The Creation by autothrall.

Sins of Omission's debut is an underrated gem within the Swedish melodeath scene imo, and I'm glad someone finally gave it the justice it deserves.
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Lee Harrison
Metalhead

Joined: Mon May 30, 2022 6:28 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:12 pm 
 

Forever Underground wrote:
I haven't listened to that album in a long time, so maybe it has grown on me, but when I did I thought it was one of the most boring death metal albums I've ever heard in my life.

I've always had the feeling that the perception of James Murphy over time has changed, in the early 2000's every time I read someone they referred to him as some sort of King Midas who turned everything he touched into gold, but today I don't see him as being so revered or absent of criticism.

And even so, the review that gives him a 0 is from Bitterman, so there's no need to be too scandalised by it.

For me the worst album in history of death metal don’t deserve 0

A simple question of intelligence

I have taste completely different from you but I respect your review…

No worries

Dreams of Carrion is one of best dm album that I have listened
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CHAIRTHROWER
Methed-burnt rogue babelfish

Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:10 pm
Posts: 1026
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 6:26 pm 
 

I'm touched (but in a good way) by Mercian_Doomster's review of Internal Void's Standing On The Sun, as it's a big time must review classic along the lines of both Place Of Skulls and Solace's dual debuts!

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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2338
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 9:27 pm 
 

autothrall at it again with reviewing more overlooked Swedish melodeath bands like In Thy Dreams. The Gate of Pleasure is currently the only album of theirs I've listened to, but I think I'll give their other stuff a spin.
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Lee Harrison
Metalhead

Joined: Mon May 30, 2022 6:28 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2023 8:11 pm 
 

Hey Slater I read you review of Covenant,it’s good but you wrote RATS instead of BATS

Or I’m missing something?
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 2338
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:11 pm 
 

Lee Harrison wrote:
Hey Slater I read you review of Covenant,it’s good but you wrote RATS instead of BATS

Or I’m missing something?

Oh, that must've been a typo. That was supposed to be BATS. Not sure how I let that slipped. It's been fixed.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2023 3:03 am 
 

Slater922 wrote:
Lee Harrison wrote:
Hey Slater I read you review of Covenant,it’s good but you wrote RATS instead of BATS

Or I’m missing something?

Oh, that must've been a typo. That was supposed to be BATS. Not sure how I let that slipped. It's been fixed.

They're both pretty suitable animals, so it's understandable. Although only one is a Morbid Angel album...
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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TheBurningOfSodom
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Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 595
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2023 5:56 am 
 

Not to mention "Rested Are the Sick" would look good, at an hospital entrance, for example.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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gasmask_colostomy
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1639
Location: China
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2023 11:16 pm 
 

TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
Not to mention "Rested Are the Sick" would look good, at an hospital entrance, for example.

Recorded by The Matron Angels
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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