Eh if you're spending multiple days arguing that literally every Pantera fan is a toxic gym bro who beats women or something, that's one thing, but the way BH did it here seemed to fit and just be done for humor.

I knew even before reading I'd be rewarded by BH's latest wordspew...as I've now the words "catawampus" and "antimemetic"* to slot within ever expansive vocab!

*Although upon googling, was met with "antiemietic" i.e. that which prevents hurling (not curling).

Also, it's pretty cool how "Djental Plan" was written the day I went to the dentist!

Lol I dread the consequences of introducing this rabbit hole to the kaleidoscope inside your skull, but I was actually referencing something from the SCP Foundation's universe. Assuming you haven't heard of it, the SCP Wiki is basically a hub for short stories based around the SCP Foundation, which is a shady super duper mega secret organization that works to contain various "anomalies". A disc that opens new dimensions when placed on a mirror, a stairwell in a university that goes down for seeming infinity, a town that got eaten by sentient blobs of flesh, a big fuckin' lizard that won't die, stuff like that. Basically just one of the various directions that creepypastas evolved into. In that world, an antimemetic anomaly is a class of things that self censor; things that make you forget about them the very instant you learn about them. In the review, it was basically just an obtuse nerdass way of saying the album wasn't very memorable, lol.

Thanks for the explanation! (Again those two "wise" words have just earned themselves prime chair real estate...)

As a tribute, here is a tube link to Action Lab (random, I know), He-of-the-easy to understand yet rather mind wedgieing science projects!

https://www.youtube.com/@TheActionLab/videos

(Plus, the guy's genially nerdy narration is actually sort of therapeutic!)

BastardHead nailed it on the Messhuggah. Well-articulated and, tellingly, I've never heard anyone explain why they're interesting without having to dissect the music on a time-signature level, too.

Autothrall pretty much sums up Machine Head with his review of Kingdom.

Well, I have a thimbleful of talent (to quote Mick Foley) when it comes to reviewing music, but I'd say what drew me to Meshuggah is the vibe, the "feel" - moments of unbridled rage on the first few (pre-Nothing) albums, which were subsequently lost or toned down (hence my initial disappointment); but I've always found them to have something of an inhuman alien or cyborg-mercenary sort of quality, with the leads and rhythmic quirks creating a damaged, warped, sci-fi atmosphere. I could see it being "disorienting" if I tried to nod along to it, but I don't; I just take it in, like any music, while being vaguely aware that there's some super-technical whatever at work. (Like I said, music theory is not my thing.)

I can also see it as "devoid of feeling," sure, but in a way that's comparable to industrial music. (But then, a lot of industrial music does nothing for me, so sure, it's going to be hit or miss.) YMMV as to whether they over-emphasize the rhythm-bending, making that the focal point of their music and becoming a predictable gimmick band. And as with any big and unusual band, there'll be annoying mega-fans who get carried away with the analysis and make it out into something you have to be "deep" and "gifted" to "truly" understand. Thankfully I'm not often exposed to them.

I don't know if any of that qualifies as an explanation, but that's my experience with them anyway. I'm sure it made a large difference that I wasn't over-familiar with extreme metal when I first heard them - so, I have the "novelty" and "nostalgia" factors.

Autothrall's straight to the point, providing the relevant info, and not overly long.

Oh yeah, Just read Ultraboris' Master of Puppets review... He's so bang on. A few bands/labels might have looked at that as a blueprint, coz it shipped units, but it didn't kill metal, though. And, it's a 6-7/10 record. I think he said it's about a 6.5.

Following my read of them (The) Gauntlet reviews, I feel the need to preemptively toss down my own glove with:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/W ... 14/1065176

(as in, you guys need to check this out!)

The thing is, right now, I don't want to break my ongoing string of dual perspectives (of which the second half of last week's is earmarked for this weekend or so) so feel free to have at 'er!

Not to worry Chair, I have actually written a Whirlwind review for another publication and am only waiting for that to come out elsewhere before I drag it to here.

I feel quite identified with what you say, usually if I go a long period without writing, the first reviews I write once I'm back to writing are going to be more inconsistent than usual.

I also identify with what you say about trying to write the perfect review, not because I literally want to write a perfect review but because I have the need to write something really good. And that's the reason why I'm stuck at the moment, when I had been writing for a year and a bit I did notice an improvement compared to my first attempts but nowadays I feel that my level is not progressing and that I'm not getting better no matter how hard I try.

Maybe, as sage morbert claims, one doesn't even need to try, but simply express themselves how they feel like in the moment...(super smiley emoji), which I'm about to do soon, once I'm done watching the latest seasons of I Am A Killer, a grim but morbidly fascinating Netflix production (I always philosophize at the end of each episode in choosing what or who to believe, while sorting out my sentiments accordingly. In other words, some of the cases you can relate to, yet there are a few which are quite crapulous and unforgivable.)

Happy to hear your thoughts on it though, and I agree, it's not so much as writing the perfect review as simply writing a great one!

By the way, gas, you just know I'm whirlwinding right now.

*Aargh, I'm facing the same challenges in reviewing Friends Of Hell as Death Penalty, if not worse. I almost feel like I'm writing my very first review or something along those lines...The words simply won't flow! (Can I use my one "shitty review allowed" card today?)

In somewhat related news, my first ever "real boobs on show" t-shirt was purchased this week, and it's Death Penalty!

I think you can get 1 "shitty review" card per quarter, you're probably due one.

From the new D666 review:



Is this kind of embarrassing nonsense really acceptable in reviews here? I didn’t think so.

In regards to latent Destroyer 666 review, permit me the fatherly gesture of pointing out that within this riotous phrase "The lyrics are obviously where the band comes into conflict with the overly sensitive politically correct m(asses) who apparently can't imagine the idea of someone who' spent nearly 4 decades in extreme metal not bending the knee to the mob." an (m) should preclude said asses. (The whirlwinder emojicon here!)

I'm not fully aware of all the controversies involving KK, but if those included dangerous ideologies and the reviewer is blatantly condoning them, it might (should) be nuked.

Regardless of that, some statements in said review are fairly ridiculous, at the very least.


You just don't get away with a wrong parenthesis usage when Mr. Chairthrower is around, don't you?

Clearly this guy is not a Reagers-era Saint Vitus fan:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Saint_Vitus/Hallow%27s_Victim/17772

Okay, this'll likely be my last forum post for awhile, as that review-to- (whimsical) post ratio is suffering...but thanks DMA for suggesting yet another target of the dual perspective - although, I'm literally whirlwind-busy these days with beginning-of-year clerical crap, you know, the migraine inducing redtape/bureaucratic shtick which involves downtown dentist/meth(adone) doctor appointments, stressful, on hold forever phone calls with government agencies, deadlines up the ying yang and so on...but I'll be back (Term style!).

(Man, it's so bad I even have to eschew work this week; it's a good thing my boss is sensible.)

In terms of actual review foruming, O-thrall is literally aflame - that elusive benchmark is just around the corner. I really dug the four he just posted, as they're compact and informative, with just the right amount of (Rob Zombie) metaphors...Oh, you've got to dig NDB's Arkham Asylum comparison as well!

See you soon, CHAIRTHROWER.

Seems like his New Year's resolution was to finally reach that, and damn if he's grinding. Only one review to 5000. What a legend. Wonder if he's working on something special for this next one?

Wow, this is big

Imagine! Lord Thrall holds the Guinness Book Of World Records title for most heavy metal reviews by anyone on the planet! Can it get any cooler?!

(https://loudwire.com/rock-metal-guinness-world-records/)

Our mod gods need to notify the organization...double duly!

Okay, maybe there's some yegg out there who's tragically unaware of MA yet who's written more? Ha! I don't think so...Who knows, He might even surprise us with a rare (yet not quite unheralded) 100%er.

Also, I'm mighty impressed by LedZep2112's sophomoric review for Megadeth's latest, which now makes me want to finally hear it.

Welcome to the illustrious club, kid!

*Chaser Of Dragons' Metal Inquisitor slab also turned my head (around).

Liked this review of EOTF by Daniel. I guess he's doing a discography retrospective of the band given the review is titled Suffocation I, so I'm looking forward to hearing his thoughts on the rest of the albums.

The Bard with Bright Eyes at the end of review of Deicide The Serpent of the Light wrote

“Maybe you'll like it if you're immature, angsty and have no standards for death metal (or music in general). I'm way past that phase in my life and I'd rather not revisit it.“

So sorry to read that,because I like that album,not their best but a good album and I’m not immature…

I believe the lyrics are awful,Immolation did pretty well vs cristianity but I enjoy the music

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeee! Mark ye ole calendar, as St.Pat's Day is gonna rule!

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/N ... er/1106343

(There are no actual words to describe how elated I am right now.)

Oh, I loved the Skid Row review, twist, even before reading it...you nailed it at the end when describing Slave To The Grind as "lightning in a bottle".
(Now, I've the killer chorus to contend with!)

Thanks! I've been wanting to do a writeup for Slave to the Grind for some time now so that was a fun one to get in. I was very tempted to do a full series for their whole discography when the new one came out but the Solinger albums seemed like they would've been a whole ordeal. I might end up doing it anyway, they've got an interesting run of albums.

Quite like Hames Jetfield bolding those album and song titles. I suspect a very subtle dig at one Danish drummer.

How can Disincarnate Dreams of a Carrion take 0?

World without god

I haven't listened to that album in a long time, so maybe it has grown on me, but when I did I thought it was one of the most boring death metal albums I've ever heard in my life.

I've always had the feeling that the perception of James Murphy over time has changed, in the early 2000's every time I read someone they referred to him as some sort of King Midas who turned everything he touched into gold, but today I don't see him as being so revered or absent of criticism.

And even so, the review that gives him a 0 is from Bitterman, so there's no need to be too scandalised by it.

A little birdie informed me of yet another highly anticipated March release, by none other than Witchtower!

(Enclosed is a sampler.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXTCyLNtD0Q

Good review of The Creation by autothrall.

Sins of Omission's debut is an underrated gem within the Swedish melodeath scene imo, and I'm glad someone finally gave it the justice it deserves.

For me the worst album in history of death metal don’t deserve 0

A simple question of intelligence

I have taste completely different from you but I respect your review…

No worries

Dreams of Carrion is one of best dm album that I have listened

I'm touched (but in a good way) by Mercian_Doomster's review of Internal Void's Standing On The Sun, as it's a big time must review classic along the lines of both Place Of Skulls and Solace's dual debuts!

autothrall at it again with reviewing more overlooked Swedish melodeath bands like In Thy Dreams. The Gate of Pleasure is currently the only album of theirs I've listened to, but I think I'll give their other stuff a spin.

Hey Slater I read you review of Covenant,it’s good but you wrote RATS instead of BATS

Or I’m missing something?

Oh, that must've been a typo. That was supposed to be BATS. Not sure how I let that slipped. It's been fixed.

They're both pretty suitable animals, so it's understandable. Although only one is a Morbid Angel album...

Not to mention "Rested Are the Sick" would look good, at an hospital entrance, for example.

Recorded by The Matron Angels