I miss the odd mixture of excitement and dread derived from checking one's email to see if their recent spiel was greenlit or not by the metal gods...

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mortillery/Murder_Death_Kill/312468/

Uhm...




Cara is in fact a lady. If the name wasn't a giveaway, her pictures would...

Er, I'm assuming that's a rare hells_unicorn booboo. Then again, "Cara" can (supposedly) be a boy's name. In regards to early Enforcer from 2008, I get the same nostalgic feeling from now hearing 15 year old classics such "Mistress From Hell", "Speed Queen" (not the cheesy Belgium band) and "Black Angel" as I did as a teenager hearing classic 70s rock on FM radio, even if I wasn't around during that time period.

Well played, lol.


Doing the work of a metal god sounds nice though

Hey, I just realized you metal reviews DEMIgods had a special "metal sage" rank, never had noticed it before. Also realized I'm on your "favorite reviewers" list judging by your profile, and I have to say I'm much obliged

Funny thing, back in the day I was behaving exactly the same as ol' BastardHead, eagerly checking the number of points I got for each accepted review, and I'm ready to bet we weren't the only ones hehe. At that time the standards were much lower, and 8 points weren't uncommon as soon as a review was structured and interesting enough. I also remember stupidly thinking quantity was the same as quality, and putting a lot of efforts into a review, or so I thought, only to earn a meagre 3 points. Oh, and I once achieved a masterful 16-points review, courtesy of good ol' V1 and its celebrated bugs.

Napalm_Satan's idea of adjusting points of an auto-accepted review sounds cool, but I thought the whole purpose of scribes was to lighten the mods' load, not the other way

Ha, I can't deny your Metallum Romanum series played a big part in it. I admire how you're still keeping it going haha.


That's quite something

Alas, the well is running dry. I still have a couple on my list I may reserve for the next Reviews Challenge, as well as a few extra which are likely to fit the bill but of which I couldn't lay hand on a complete copy to review. Of course, if as an Italian you happen to stumble upon some more please PM me ASAP

Oh, and with such a theme there's also the usual lot of fascist crap, as you must guess. I MIGHT do one, with all the distance required, but that's usually not the kind of stuff I love to promote.

Oh hey, I'm on TheBurningOfSodom's list too!

Loving the Battlelore reviews Sean!

Did I mention that it's really and secretly a blacklist (as in, Exodus-style) already...?

Jokes aside, you're all in good company


Adding insult to injury, I live near Rome and still I can't think of any... will have to investigate I guess

Thanks a lot. I hadn't done a series for aeons, and that one (as you must have guessed by reading the reviews) has a high nostalgy factor in it - my brother used to be deep both into fantasy literature and into that band back in the day, having bought most of their albums around the time they came out. I personally hadn't listened to them for a good decade, re-discovering them with their comeback album from last year, and it's overall a pleasure to delve into Middle-Earth metal again, even if I wouldn't ever consider them as a truly great band for sure. My Evernight review is shit though - the typical album every reviewer should be afraid of, the archetypal average release there's basically nothing to say about, not very good, while still not bad enough to justify a bashing. Well, one also writes series for that sort of challenge, I guess.


For the blacklist, please wait until I write my 100% review for Poser Holocaust.

... that is, forever

That would be worthy of my vantablack-list, rather

I read your review of their comeback and came out going "man I've been sleeping on them after 2007 a lot harder than I thought". Granted, I was big on them about 16 years ago because I was heaps into the Lord of the Rings movies and Battlelore definitely had keen ears for melody more often than not. Interestingly, I liked Evernight a whole lot when it came out in 2007 to the point I considered it album of the year material (and if I'm remembering my old list correctly, most likely, only Symphony X holds up there), but it definitely had more to do with how enamored I was by them rather than any objective qualities. Though alongside the perfectly middling album, the bane of any discog run writeup is when the albums just basically sound the same from there on out. I got where I got to in my Iron Savior coverage and thought "what else is there to say - for the next 10 years, they basically just did The Landing again and again?".

One of the coolest gifts one can receive from MA occurs when you finally spy that elusive review by a fellow thrower you've been waiting on for years (in this case, seven, so my credit score should be clear now). Although I spotted sweetie's excellent Diamonds redeemer last night before hitting the hay, made sure to flag it for morning perusal ahead of retreating into the ole refrigerated cooler at the warehouse - a good thing because the way global warming is going, it'll be hotter than Miami here before long - and I must say, bullseye's been met. I've even foregone my usual daily (media) bread for yet another spin, as it's been too long. As well, I'm thrilled we've at last hero-combo'ed a 100%er; rest assured you're fully forgiven for downgrading Flight's Matter Leap...

Diamonds really is a dead, I mean desert island masterpiece, with wicked pacing and production (the loose n' lethal bass shines in a way not often heard); they rarely make 'em like this anymore. Any metal head worth their salt needs a (g)listen. That's why I compared it to Riot's Fire Down Under and that equally ancient Witch Cross affair, whose wispily rocking vox are on the same magical level as Olof's - not Olaf as I once surmised. Oh, and that Twin Peaks reference for Walk With Me? Priceless! It brings back such fond memories of watching the very first episode back in '92 with my older sister, when we had more of a bond and my parents were the same age I am today. What a cryptic doozie, even if I eventually fell off the bandwagon. I also dug that closing nod to Ghost, Haunt, Skull Fist and Konquest. In fact, Skull Fist is highly due for a chairbot breach, so stay tuned.

(Haunt's Mind Freezie is next on the playlist.)

Oh boy... you noticed that, lol. Some review percentages changed as I changed my scale. 95% to me is basically still perfect, it just isn't in that "desert island, better than perfect" category. In any case, I appreciate the kind words!

I don't have much to say about Felix's new Saxon review; I mean I get it and all. I do find it amusing that he's talking about NWOBHM being exciting to grandpas only when he is a veritable fossil himself. : P

I never like that "this 70s and 80s rock is for grandpas only" shit... like what are they proposing everyone listen to instead?

Finally! I managed to get my hands on a good, working laptop, as the other one shat the bed...the day its one year warranty expired! Anyhow, I had to wait until today (when the stupid building fire alarm went off at quarter to five, making for a rauCous morning all around) to Che Ck the forum to see if my Chairpraise was well re Ceived. (Yes, sweetie's slight Flight s depre Ciation traumatized me for a time but I'm over it now). The thing is, despite being an otherwise ki Ckass P C, the frigging " C" button on the keyboard doesn't work and I've to use Control V Constantly to the point where an auxiliary keyboard is in order - either that or my next trademark konsists of lipographik reviews without the third letter, a la Ernest Vinsent Wright. Just signing in to my MA akount drove me mad.

(Don't worry Felix, I'll be joining you in fossil klub soon enough.)

Also, kriptisism aside, and while it'd be moot to follow diskographiq Enforser tendensies, methinks a spesial Ghost style surprise lies in wait, soon enough - urf, that now makes two spontaneous kommitments.

One last tidbit of info, here, for the sake of moon leaping:

https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/F ... st/1137487

Ah, the Norwegian heroes heed the klarion kall!

@Napalm_Satan and Chairthrower, the truth hurts, just ask Pro-Pain, but yes, here is the M-A veritable fossil section. Getting old is nothing for cowards, I can tell you.
@Empyreal, I did not write that people who are even older than me should have listened to other music. Already the headline says something different from my point of view. I just say that there is nothing exciting anymore about the usual NWOBHM approach in 2023.
Anyway, thanks to all of you for the comments.

I'm a few decades younger and I find a lot of that kind of stuff to be vital and bad ass.

That's good. Different opinions make things interesting.

I gotta hand it to Lawrence, I enjoy his little Malaysia-related remarks that were heavy in the latest review. Anyone who knows me knows that I love learning about anything involving day-to-day existence in the imperial periphery, and that country in particular is one I know little about. Obviously little remarks don't give a huge look into that, but like Marge Simpson says, "I just think they're neat."

The rant came from a place of envy tbh, why can't Malaysia have its own Wormrot? Instead most of the well-known stuff here ranges from mid to terrible

Although I did found an excellent black/thrash album from Sabah of all places, which is the Malaysia equivalent of the Northern Alaska

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Pe ... 3540446320
https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Th ... 3540495459

I'll give you one more cool band from Sabah Or maybe two

One of them is also affiliated with Bestial Hordes, definitely something good

Yeah? Wanna tell me who they are?

Bestial Hordes, I just finihsed writing a review on their sole full length

Oh, boy, I miss the days when I kould muster the same amount as enthusiasm, zeal and attention to detail as brexaul did in his latest ideal justis doer for Sakred Outkry. (Pardon the "k"s, I mentioned my little plight above...) Great show! Also, it's good to see a fresh, yet not hot, take on Zenith, to the point where I'm now konvinsed. (Aargh!) Although I would've inverted skores for From Beyond and Death By Fire, even if I so dig Silent Hour_Konjugation.

If there's anyone I wanted to comment on that, it's you

re Felix’s Saxon review: it seems to undermine your point to say that Denim & Leather leads you to believe that only grandpas can like 70s-80s metal but still concede that Strong Arm of the Law is good. Is that not also grandpa metal?

The review is written well, but I wholeheartedly disagree with the opinion. If From Beyond is 85% and Zenith is 95% then there's some serious weirdness going on. Enforcer were never good because they did anything new, they were good because they played exciting music with a spark of danger. No, Zenith didn't have to be fast to be good (it would have made it easier for old fans to accept, sure), but it doesn't have the spark, not even when I listen to it now. At most I could give it a 60% (my review is 47%) because it's just so damn bland and boring.

Nostalgia doesn't do that much exciting, but I'm not hearing the noticeable awkward moments that Zenith contained. It's pretty safe, but at least some of the songs are sort of fun and I don't need to warm up my cringe face before listening.

What about Zenith is awkward, though? Like I genuinely don't hear anything that's out of place or poorly written. Thinking it's boring is subjective, even if I disagree, but the only awkward song is "Sail On" which I noted in the review.

Regarding "exciting" I think a lot of it is. "1,000 Years Of Darkness" "Zenith Of The Black Sun" and that Europower hook in "Forever We Worship The Dark" are all exciting in the same vein the other albums were, just in a different way. I even think all of the harmonies in the opener track and the *actual* speed metal songs (like "Searching For You") do this as well.

It's definitely subjective, so I'm not saying you're wrong exactly. I'm just surprised that some people can hear 'Regrets' and think that it sounded like a good idea to make it that long and that plain. Olof sounds like he's detached from the topic and totally flat emotionally. (Surprisingly, I kind of like 'Nostalgia' on the new one.) Actually, although 'Searching for You' is alright, I'd put that fairly low on the list of highlights if it had been on either of the previous albums. Again, it doesn't have anything very remarkable about it, very basic speed metal riffing and predictable changes. I thought the same about 'One with Fire' and 'Death Rides This Night' on the albums before, they have a couple of simple/filler cuts every time.

One of the things about Zenith that doesn't work for me is how a lot of the power is gone from the production too. The 3 songs you've picked out all work pretty well, as well as 'Die for the Devil', because the hooks feel significant and the songs move naturally. I don't remember the riffs but that's okay in those cases. But I hate stuff like the nasty cheap keys on '1000 Years' (chorus), and 'Sail On' is poor from production, performance, and writing sides. I wrote my review knowing that the band had said they had written “the biggest heavy metal album of all time without any limitations,” which is so remotely far from true that it made me even more pissed off at the time. Still a laughable claim now.

Yeah, that's certainly fair, something I'm glad I missed before hearing it.

For the most part I guess I understand, you make a lot of valid criticisms as well. I just couldn't help but feel like a lot of what everyone said about it allowed them to bog it down far more than it was deserved, in their heads. Seldom I write reviews that have such a self-centered passion like I did with that, but I really think it was one of the rare cases where it was warranted, and I still stand by everything I said, haha.

Interesting that you like the Nostalgia title track, though. I just submitted my review of that album for Sleeping Village, so once that's published, I'll unleash it here as well.

EDIT: I knocked it down to a 90. Rating it as high as Death By Fire, I'll admit, is a little much. But I still take it to From Beyond.

I think any review like yours has a special purpose. If you disagree with the majority of (negative) opinions on an album, it's useful to have one very positive review to show it in a different light. It can prevent anyone undecided from just siding with the general trend. So definitely worth writing in that style once in a while.

Same. Just like people naming stuff 'dad rock'. It's so vapid and easy.
like, duh, if something is over 35-40 years old, chances are big the old fans by now are parents or even grandparents.
And besides, being 50+ myself, I actually know a lot of people at least 20 years younger than me who are more into Saxon than I ever was.

Chair's Shadows review reminded me to revisit that album. I was sorta disappointed when I heard it a week or so ago, but I've only given it one proper listen so far. In any case, great write-up!

EDIT: Ok, I must have been in a bad mood or something when I heard that, because this is great! The vocals are very much an acquired taste, but they're growing on me after another spin. Few more listens and I could see this firing far up my list of albums for the year (current tops being Hellripper, Century, and Blood Star).

Hey thanks! It was a fun challenge to cook up a lipogram, however short (to go with my pangramic Buckethead review from God knows when), as it really forces the old brain to somersault and back-flip through one's vocab repertoire or even learn new words via googled synonyms. Evidently, some letters are a lot tougher than others to omit (why couldn't my keyboard have forsaken the elusive "z" instead of the all too common "c"?); hence, why V. Ernest Wright's "e"-less novel, Gadsby, is such a colossal literary achievement. If you check it out sometime, you'll see what I mean. You'd think it was written by aliens or that forum provoking AI we so fret about. In regards to the actual band Shadows, though, I figured you'd get a kick out of them, seeing as how much they sort of bring to mind Ghost. I also dug your boiling takes on Enforcer; when I read the Zenith and Nostalgia reviews, I couldn't wait to see the ensuing fireworks! Good show.

In other news, my new big-time fetish band consists of the tragically defunct Metal Inquisitor from the Fatherland whose entire disco I've been spinning at work in the cooler, the one place in the warehouse where my ears aren't subjected to ever-repetitive and oft grating commercial FM radio. For a trad metal head like myself, it feels like I've unearthed the holy grail!

(Oh, I'm glad you dig century as well, they remind me of what Metallika could've/would've sounded like had they fully pursued the heavenly NWOBHM influence route instead of the thrashy aggro one.)

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 666/329559

Yes maybe we are just me and you to know them….

With Djevel best norwegian modern band.

Ps Italian power metal is an osxymoron,we were great only with prog

Colin's review of Disembowelment sums up many of my feelings on that album. I have never understood all the retrospective hype for that record. It is good, and important, and unique, but is also a bit of a slog to listen to. I prefer Trial of the Bow to be honest.

Thanks for checking. It's a weird album for sure, but it just doesn't deliver 100% all the time. Personally, I'd rather listen to Worm over Disembowelment (even though they're not exactly a copycat).