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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2023 7:30 am 
 

Kratopsis: as it stands, your review is just too vague. For example, why is RtL revolutionary compared to KEA? You could argue every metalhead knows the story, and that's partly true, but the album you're reviewing has already 36 (thirty-six) reviews, and yours' content doesn't really add anything. Also, the songs aren't exactly described from a musical standpoint. Saying that something is 'good' or 'great' alone won't be enough for acceptance. My tip would be to read some already accepted reviews, to get a better idea of what's considered acceptable, before resubmitting. Good luck with that!

AmogusEnjoyer: there are some occasional hiccups and typos in your writing, and you can definitely avoid creating a new line for every sentence like in the 4th paragraph, but by and large I think you can submit it already :)
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2023 11:37 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

Anyone willing to offer their insight about my reviews? I feel like my writing style is still pretty primitive and simplistic

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 10:03 am 
 

LawrenceStillman wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Versailles/Holy_Grail/304751/LawrenceStillman/1764117

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

Anyone willing to offer their insight about my reviews? I feel like my writing style is still pretty primitive and simplistic

I know it's often me giving feedback (so hopefully someone else will do the same), but I think what your writing lacks at the moment is deep thinking. You clearly know so much stuff about all these albums you have, and the length of some of the reviews shows that, but you haven't really said anything very deep about any of them. You describe many parts of the music and background, which is useful for sure when these are not bands with many other reviews, and that is a strong point of yours, that you can go into detail. On the other hand, I have not read one of your reviews where you assimilate this description into any significant summary of the album, which would firstly give your reviews a driving point and secondly make it easier for the reader to grasp your meaning in a few sentences.

To put it another way, I get the feeling that you open the editor and then proceed to write everything you know about the album without considering how the reader will gain anything from it. The knowledge itself can be helpful, but as someone who doesn't know much about Japanese power/melodeath, I'd like someone to guide me a bit more strongly. So especially when you talk about these kinds of album, feel free to act like you are teaching a class about the genre, since not so many people are familiar with those bands. Read over your review at the end and ask yourself what the main point was. Then go back and write it into your intro or conclusion. That will give you a focus that you don't quite have at the moment.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:10 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
...make it easier for the reader to grasp your meaning in a few sentences.

That's the crucial point, in my opinion. You usually have a lot to say but, more often than not, following along can come across as tough for the reader. Try to read your reviews from beginning to end multiple times, and think if you've successfully talked about the more important things you wanted to, and if you've done so in a way that's easy to understand. Remember that you don't *need* to talk about every single thing that comes to your mind while writing. It might seem counterintuitive, but especially on the two reviews you've linked, I'm pretty sure you can find some examples of trimmable fat. Of course, that isn't always the solution, but it can come in handy when proofreading your review for the last time before submitting. Sometimes less can be more. If the flow of the review slows down or stops because you've probably spent too much time delving into a single aspect, ask yourself if everything you've written is really necessary. I'm pretty sure all of us have to axe something, every now and then :lol:

I'm pretty sure a part of the blame can be traced back to lack of experience, as they are still your very first reviews, and one no doubt needs to find a style that works better for them, the more/less important topics to analyze, and so on. Until then, reading more reviews by different writers can point you in the right (for you) direction. I, for one, can name at least 2-3 reviewers that were massive influences for me, and they couldn't be more different from one another, so be open to any kind of possible inspiration. Furthermore, I get the feel that your knowledge of the metal spectrum has some room for improvement. I've got that ICDD is arguably your favourite band, but do you really need to mention them in every review? It gives the idea that you have a rather limited pool of bands to draw comparisons to. That, of course, can improve with time as well.

Finally, the fact that you're not a native English speaker is inevitably part of the issue, as I completely understand what it's like to have a lot of thoughts, but not be able to express them in the smoothest/most adequate way (yet). However, I'd suggest working on your language as soon as you can, since expanding your vocabulary will surely have a positive impact on the matter, especially seeing how you repeat some words way too many times (I'm afraid you're gonna receive a rejection for this very reason soon lol), and it gives that clunky feel to your writing (pretty typical of a new, ESL user, to reiterate). Also, as a friend's advice, pay particular attention to the verbal tenses and their sequence (roughly speaking: when to use a past verb, when a present one, etc. in the context of a sentence), as well as the third person rule: it's where you stumble the most. I usually correct them but I won't always be there :-D a simple spell checker will do fine enough.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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robotniq
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 am
Posts: 373
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 3:38 pm 
 

LawrenceStillman wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Versailles/Holy_Grail/304751/LawrenceStillman/1764117

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

Anyone willing to offer their insight about my reviews? I feel like my writing style is still pretty primitive and simplistic


Looking at the ICCD one, the basic problem is that it is too long. There is a lot of unncessary detail in there and this makes it hard for the reader to understand the essence of your opinion. For example, the entire second paragraph could be cut. Who cares whether they said something on Twitter or not? Unless it affects your appreciation and contextualisation of the record, then cut it. Admittedly, I have written similar peripheral things in the past, like this Demilch review where I talk about them putting their entire disography online for free (https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... tiq/126459), but I mention this because it is an important (and overlooked) part of the band's history and context.

Other than that, the review could mostly be improved by sharpening it into five or six paragraphs and cutting the unnecessary stuff. This is a difficult thing to do, but it makes reviewing much easier when you have got the hang of it.

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 1:36 am 
 

Appreciate the replies, the reason I began writing long reviews was due to me liking to read long texts like reviews or stories, so I just write everything I knew about the album in detail.

Maybe I had the wrong approach to writing reviews because I love reading how others feel about the album after listening to it, and as a result I like to seek out in-depth reviews to see what I missed, which kind of bled into my writing style.

Now that I look back on it, yeah I kind of fucked up big time because unless you already know the material well, you probably have a hard time understanding the review.

Shorter reviews it is, thanks y'all, I'll probably start researching how autothrall writes his reviews, he didn't get this big for no reason after all

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 5:46 am 
 

One other thing to bear in mind is that it depends which album you are writing about. No one on the site has written about ICCD, but more than 30 people have written about At the Gates SotS. So consider when writing whether your readers need (or can understand) all the background, or whether you should be thinking about what others have said in the past. I know that you're having fun writing, but no review exists in a vacuum, and it's important to consider that context.
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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 5:58 am 
 

So what I should do is write longer and detailed reviews for albums that no one wrote a review for, but for albums with many reviews, I should write something shorter because others can read the remaining reviews to get a solid idea on the album?

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robotniq
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 am
Posts: 373
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 2:21 pm 
 

LawrenceStillman wrote:
So what I should do is write longer and detailed reviews for albums that no one wrote a review for, but for albums with many reviews, I should write something shorter because others can read the remaining reviews to get a solid idea on the album?


Not necessarily, but reviews for established classics need much more careful thought than reviews for weird/obscure stuff that no-one has written about before. This is especially true for negative reviews of established classics, which are likely to get scrutinsed more than anything (certainly on this side of the forums, but also in the wider metal community of people who read Metal Archives but don't post). It is fine to have a contrarian opinion on these records, of course, but the contrarian arguments need to be clear, precise and well-founded or they are likely to bomb.

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 8:04 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

So how does this look? I did my best to remove unnecessary bloat

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 10:53 pm 
 

Honestly the best thing you can do is to continue reading other reviews (this was huge for me), and keep writing yours with the tips that are given back. You'll get better over time.
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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 5:56 am 
 

For me, it's a good start. The most important thing is to keep working, and hopefully improving. Seconding again the 'read other reviews' advice, it was crucial for me as well, and I still continue to find something that inspires me, ~8 years after.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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LawrenceStillman
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Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 8:03 am 
 

So writing reviews as something like a basic rundown to attract a potential listener who reads it seems to do the trick, instead of writing it like a university thesis, although I still don't understand what gasmask meant by "teaching a class about the genre or album" Since the best way to learn about a genre is not by words but by actually making them listen to it

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 9:20 am 
 

It's not a definitive, be-all end-all answer though. You have received several inputs and now it's up to you to slowly find your formula, we can't guide you so deeply as it should feel natural to you, first and foremost.

Thet said, I don't think one can use the exact same style for every album they're reviewing. In my opinion you can't get a definitive answer as:

a) every reviewer clearly has a best weapon, one can make very strong, elaborate writings that by all means resemble "teaching a class" (Napero comes to my mind), while another can be more effective on short, concise narrations (Tanuki is always my go-to name for that). Again, you have to find out what works better for you.

b) every reader can have a favourite style as well! I, for one, gravitate towards the latter, most of the times. By and large, I think that a review is of the perfect length when it matches the size of my monitor, at most, not exceeding it. That doesn't mean I don't read or enjoy any review longer than that, as well. It's all nothing more than a rule of thumb and, most of all, purely personal leanings.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 11:52 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117 how does this review look? Probably one of my more minimalistic reviews that looked similar to what autothrall would write, but it was written before I even knew who he is

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 5:24 am 
 

Probably fine enough and with a decent musical description, but yeah, as others already said, don't fixate too much on writing like another reviewer in particular. Try to take the best you can find from multiple sources.
_________________
A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 11:28 am 
 

LawrenceStillman wrote:
So writing reviews as something like a basic rundown to attract a potential listener who reads it seems to do the trick, instead of writing it like a university thesis, although I still don't understand what gasmask meant by "teaching a class about the genre or album" Since the best way to learn about a genre is not by words but by actually making them listen to it

When I said "teaching a class" I mean that you are kind of the expert on the subject. Those Japanese bands that have no reviews can benefit when someone knowledgeable like you writes on their music; however, you have to approach the subject with the intention of educating people clearly on those bands. I teach English to Chinese students as my job and I am always thinking about how to explain an English word using other English words that my students already know, and relying on concepts they understand. But if I were teaching an English class in a British school, I would do it totally differently, using different tools.

Essentially, your reviews are doing this too. You are describing what the music sounds like to someone who probably hasn't heard the music before. So you need to consider what tools and methods will make that writing understandable and how you can most closely give the impression of listening to the music through your words.

When you are writing about a famous album, you are definitely not the teacher, because there's always someone more expert than you regarding At The Gates or In Flames. So you need to do your research, know the background, know about how other "scholars" (reviewers) see the album, and use all of that academic stuff to inform your review. You don't have to actually write "lots of reviewers think SotS is good", but your arguments should show that you understand why they say that.

Sometimes you can be the professor, sometimes the humble scholar.
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the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 8:37 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... an/1764117

Gasmask, what do you think about this review? Did I do a good job introducing JP power metal?

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2023 12:59 am 
 

LawrenceStillman wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Kamijo/Symphony_of_the_Vampire/401465/LawrenceStillman/1764117

Gasmask, what do you think about this review? Did I do a good job introducing JP power metal?

Good bits and bad bits, I'd say. The first paragraph sets the background briefly, which is useful, the second one could be much better. Why all the quote marks and capitals and oversimplified assumptions? You can assume that your reader knows something about power metal, otherwise why are they browsing a fairly niche power metal artist? The latter part of that paragraph is better, more focused, and the paragraph about 'Dying Mask' is perhaps the best description you've given to a song so far. Overall, that's a review where I get a relatively clear idea whether I'd like to listen to the album...and I'm thinking it's not for me lol. I wouldn't mind trying Japower metal, just not sure I have time right now to dig into it properly. Also, I won't start with a Louis XVII concept EP, hehe.

Couple of words of advice: you can use humour in your review, but exaggeration is usually unhelpful, because it will mislead the reader and sometimes make them think you're an idiot. Also, I've edited out the comment at the end; please don't include those separate notes unless you can usefully put them into the review.
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Napero wrote:
the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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LawrenceStillman
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2023 1:28 am 
 

Thanks for the feedback, too bad the EP it is not your cup of tea

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Sweetie
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:19 am
Posts: 1091
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2023 1:35 pm 
 

Another word of advice, Lawrence, maybe ease up on the overuse of semicolons. I took the liberty of fixing a couple in your AN review, and using them overall is fine (I like to myself), but constant back-to-back within the same sentence isn't really the move.
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deathvomit70
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:39 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Costa Rica
PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2023 6:16 pm 
 

Hello guys! I'm trying to post this review but it keeps failing for the same reason. I double checked in every grammar and spell checker I know and seems everything's okay but, is rejected due to some sentences that doens't make many sence and hard to follow structure. Could anyone take a look at it and suggest me how can I improve this review in order to get it approved? I would really appreciate your help.

This is my review:

"As a lover of Japanese metal bands, I am always on the lookout for new bands. Recently, I have been particularly interested in discovering more female Japanese metal bands over the past couple of years, which is how I came across Lovebites. This quintet that offers something different, something apart from other power metal bands out there; and "Judgement Day" is the proof that these girls are at another level of music creation and especially, in the realm of power metal!

First of all, I must congratulate and highlight the remarkable skills of these girls. The talented drummer, the new bassist, the impressive guitarists, and the excellent vocalist did an outstanding job in their respective roles. I was left speechless when I first listened to this album, and with each subsequent listen, I came to appreciate the complexity and technicality of the songs, particularly the guitar solos by Midori and Miyako. Their level of technique and skill is truly awesome. You can hear each note clearly in every solo they play, and even when they harmonize the guitars, they do so with such precision and professionalism that it's impossible not to be impressed.

In the case of Haruna, she is a beast on the drums (in a very good way). Her skills while playing the drums are at an exceptional level, and she is able to perform perfect tempo changes, transitions between riffs, and maintain the double bass drum consistently, giving their music a powerful style. Asami's voice is perfect, and she once again demonstrates her very high vocal range and ability to sing, which adds to the band's characteristic power metal style that fits perfectly with their overall sound. The final screams on "Judgement Day" are simply awesome! Finally, we have the newest member, Fami, who earned her position as bassist for one reason - she is perfect for the band. Her style of playing the bass, along with her skills, makes her a crucial and fundamental piece for Lovebites. I hope to hear more of Fami's excellent work on future releases.

In terms of production, the work done here is incredible. The recording, mixing, and mastering were executed flawlessly, allowing each instrument to be heard perfectly and synchronized with the song, making this album highly enjoyable. The song catalog is also perfect, with a great variety of songs showcasing different styles, riffs, and themes without being excessively long as their previous release which, in my opinion, tended to get a little bit boring for that reason. However, this is not the case with this album, and in my personal opinion, the album's full length is just right. You won't get bored and will enjoy each song as it should be. Additionally, while I know that cover art is not as important to some people as the music itself, the cover art for this album is very good. The colors and concept represent the theme of the album very well.

Finally, choosing just one song from this album to recommend is difficult for me as all of them are great, but my personal favorites are "Judgement Day", "Stand and Deliver", "Wicked Witch" (which is my top favorite song on the album), and "My Orion". This album is a significant step forward in Lovebites' career, in my opinion. The improvement of the band is notable, with songs that have a unique and powerful style, excellent production quality, and an engaging flow that keeps the listener entertained throughout thw whole album. Also, this production was also highly anticipated by fans, as it marked Fami's debut and was the band's first release after their undefined hiatus, following Miho's departure.

If you are a fan of power metal, you must check out this album as it can be considered a masterpiece of the genre and proof that there are currently very talented bands capable of producing excellent metal. This gives us hope that modern metal can be done well.

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2023 2:09 am 
 

deathvomit70 wrote:
Hello guys! I'm trying to post this review but it keeps failing for the same reason. I double checked in every grammar and spell checker I know and seems everything's okay but, is rejected due to some sentences that doens't make many sence and hard to follow structure. Could anyone take a look at it and suggest me how can I improve this review in order to get it approved? I would really appreciate your help.

I'll be honest, the sentence structure etc is not too bad, but the way you explain things often isn't very deep. That gives the impression that the meaning is being communicated inaccurately. Often, you are just saying that a feature of the album is amazing. Sometimes you say why you believe that, but you rarely explain how.

deathvomit70 wrote:
You can hear each note clearly in every solo they play, and even when they harmonize the guitars, they do so with such precision and professionalism that it's impossible not to be impressed.

This is fine, but it tells me nothing about the music, except that the guitarists don't make mistakes. What are they actually playing?!

deathvomit70 wrote:
Asami's voice is perfect, and she once again demonstrates her very high vocal range and ability to sing, which adds to the band's characteristic power metal style that fits perfectly with their overall sound. The final screams on "Judgement Day" are simply awesome!

Again, this doesn't tell the reader very much. What does a "perfect" voice sound like? Okay, you say it makes the band sound like characteristic power metal, but do we mean like Helloween or like Frozen Crown. Big difference. And tell us more about the screams, what are they doing to the song? How do they make you feel? There's just so little information given to the reader.

Same when you list your favourite songs. It's useless to say "I like this one" if you don't say why you like it. What happens in the song? How is it different to the other ones? Does it remind you of another band? What special moments does the song contain?
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the dismal stench of The Chicken Bone Gallows on the Plains of Mediocre Desolation was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by the unholy rusty lawnmower molester horde that is Satan's Prenuptial Charcuterie from the endless field of tombs that is Butthill, Alabama

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robotniq
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 am
Posts: 373
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2023 8:24 am 
 

deathvomit70 wrote:
Hello guys! I'm trying to post this review but it keeps failing for the same reason.


I think the central problem is that it reads as very generic. There are a lot of "this element is great" statements without any real examples to back up. This could be fixed by integrating the paragraph about the individual songs into the other paragraphs (i.e., using the songs, or parts of the songs, as examples to say why X or Y is great).
There is also some unncessary 'fluff' which can be deleted, the first paragraph does not add anything. Don't be afraid to edit down.

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deathvomit70
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:39 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Costa Rica
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2023 12:54 am 
 

Thank you very much for your feedback guys! I'll take it into consideration for my future review as I will re-write it again following your advices. Regards! :D

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Auselesspileofflesh
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:41 pm
Posts: 667
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 1:03 am 
 

Rejected review, forgot what the admin said but I'm now going back through it to refinish it and thought I'd get an opinion.

Despite a 10+ year existence, symphonic deathcore didn't really take off until recent years and we have Lorna Shore as our main culprit for this (it's a good or bad thing depending on who you are), before then we had bands like Winds of Plague, Frozen Water Burial and Make Them Suffer who have received some recognition but was never truly as big a hit so to say. Now Lorna Shore whilst not the only band to take on this sound, did influence the current trend of symphony and choir laced breakdowns and blackened death tremolo riffing usually accompanied by AI cover art.

LS already had traction in the scene what with the EP track "Life of Fear" featured on the infamous "Cat Metal" video. This was followed by 2 full length albums which gained them praise from deathcore fans worldwide both release I personally found to be uninteresting and uninspired. Tom Barber would go onto join Chelsea Grin and Signs of the Swarm front-man CJ McCreery would join the band for their 3rd outing "Immortal" before being ousted due to sexual assault and racist allegations. I found that album to be uninteresting too, only a slight step up from previous material.

Now enter Will Ramos; the new face for Lorna Shore or should I say new set of lungs which cannot be denied, the bloke is a solid vocalist with wide range of styles and sounds HOWEVER the band backing him have been able to provide something interesting unlike their early material. I find a lot of modern deathcore to be lacklustre with song writing and/or interesting composition whilst the vocalist gets to show off their vocal dynamics. Yeah, sorry I love extreme vocals, but the music needs to be more than straight chugging, breakdowns and/or pseudo-slams. Fortunately, "…and I Return to Nothingness" steps it up with modern death metal-style tremolo-picked riffing and melody-tinged technicality all layered with orchestral synths giving it a somewhat epic feel and because the breakdowns are used more sparingly it gives them a far more impactful presence. Will's performance, whilst showing off his vocal diversity still complements the music. Synths and orchestras can be hit and miss when it comes to extreme metal and especially with deathcore as I've some absolutely terrible synth-laden deathcore but it works well here in the same way Septic Flesh pulls it off.

"From the carcass of a dead star
To the darkness of a blackened heart
We are one in the dust, in the nothingness
We are infinite, we are infinite
Misbegotten children of the abyss
We are infinite, we are infinite"

-

"Release your grip and face the tide, accepting this damnation
Relinquish flesh temptation of the body and soul
The ebb and the flow, nothing confessed
Put me to rest"

Lyrically, it's nothing too memorable or tremendous, mostly roots itself in the typical extreme metal tropes of darkness, despair and death. Still, I find it to be a lot better of a read than the almost nu metal quality "Stay out of my face/You mean nothing to me".

The thing with this EP is that it does what an EP should do i.e. leaves you wanting more. The band have recently dropped a full length with Will and whilst decent does take a commitment of time to listen to being an hour-long ordeal. Lorna Shore have now become the face of modern deathcore what with a handful of videos reaching the million-and-more, but I would still put them beneath Signs of the Swarm & Vulvodynia for the sake of quality but at least they've stepped away from the diverse vocals-monotone music deathcore style (To the Grave, Distant etc).


Despite all the smoke being blown up Will's arse I don’t agree with the naysayers on this band's recent material, enjoyable symphonic deathcore.

A solid RHHEEEE/10

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TheBurningOfSodom
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 7:31 am 
 

I remember your review, and probably I was the one to reject it. My main gripe with it was that there's more space dedicated to the band's history that the EP's actual content. And no, I don't think quoting lyrics can be considered as part of the musical description. Either way, I think that just expanding a bit on that third paragraph (or adding another one) would suffice.
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Auselesspileofflesh
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:41 pm
Posts: 667
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 1:46 am 
 

TheBurningOfSodom wrote:
I remember your review, and probably I was the one to reject it. My main gripe with it was that there's more space dedicated to the band's history that the EP's actual content. And no, I don't think quoting lyrics can be considered as part of the musical description. Either way, I think that just expanding a bit on that third paragraph (or adding another one) would suffice.


Thank you, yeah I'll have another go at this. I've already removed one set of lyrics as it didn't need 2 large paragraphs.
I'll keep this in mind before submitting for a 2nd time

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TheBurningOfSodom
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 6:27 am 
 

Of course, quoting part of the lyrics isn't always discouraged, it just needs moderation, like everything. You rightly noticed that two large excerpts of lyrics were arguably a bit too much stuff for a rather short review, but they might be apt for a longer one, for example. There's no exact recipe in this regard.

Good luck with your submission!
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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kazhard
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Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:42 pm
Posts: 837
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2023 5:34 pm 
 

Howdy.

Sometime in the near future, I would be interested in writing reviews on this excellent website. I have written some movie reviews when I was a teenager, but never a music one, and those were in French. Now, my English is pretty limited even though I have lived in the US for two years. What would be some tips you would give to a total beginner that have next to zero knowledge in the music realm? Also, if possible, what should I do in order to avoid sounding like a foreigner?

Thanks and all best.
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LawrenceStillman
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Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 1:25 pm
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Location: Malaysia
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2023 9:26 pm 
 

Just do your best in writing a coherent review, also almost all the regulars here are ESL (English as Second language) so you should be fine

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2023 8:10 am 
 

I don't know about 'almost all the regulars', but yeah, there are plenty of us :-P

Also, if by 'knowledge in the music realm' you meant that you know almost zero in terms of musical theory, don't worry about that too much, either. I, for one, am in a similar position, and there are lots of way better writers that also aren't musicians, or just don't delve too much into that aspect within their reviews.

My advice for both is the same ol' 'read more reviews', but with some judgment. Find some reviewers that happen to describe music in a similar way to what you would like to do, or in a style you just like, and read their stuff. Place emphasis on the plural – don't obsess too much over copying the style of a single writer (as the writing style is pretty personal and eventually you'll develop your own) but try to take the most from multiple sources. That's gonna help both in giving you inspiration for what you can talk about in a review, and refining your phrasing. I can't count how many times in the past I came across English expressions or phrases that I didn't know, or knew in an incorrect form, and thought 'Ah, so that's how you write it!' every time, trying to correct that aspect for future reviews.

Now, one could argue that reviews from a non-native, self-taught English speaker would still be recognizable as written by a foreigner, under an attentive read, but you can bet we mods aren't extremely strict about that issue, as long as it isn't too obvious (e.g. to the point of making the whole thing difficult to read and/or understand).

Of course, should you see one of your reviews rejected, and need some additional help, you can always return to this thread and post it here.

Good luck with that!
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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kazhard
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Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:42 pm
Posts: 837
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:58 pm 
 

Thanks for your response, friend! I’m just a bit nervous because I know a lot of people who speaks English fluently and they are from many, many countries. I should be fine, although there is plenty of work to do before I get there.

All the best
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AlexLucas
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2022 7:28 am
Posts: 5
PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2023 4:02 am 
 

Hey guys, I hope to find you all in good spirits!!

I've written quite a number of reviews here in the past, but I'm struggling to get my review for Predatory Void's "Seven Keys To The Discomfort of Being" approved. Perhaps you could check it out and give me feedback? Thank you :D

"Have you ever crossed paths with a band out of nowhere? Better yet, have you ever crossed paths with a band out of nowhere, found it was actually a supergroup, and realized they released an album just as good as they would do in their "original" (let's put it like that) bands? Well, if you're getting into Predatory Void, that will certainly be the case. But if you already know Amenra, or Oathbreaker, or Cross Bringer, or Cobra The Impaler... then this band should not be a hard case of pleasing ears.

The Predatory Void saga begins when Amenra's Lennart Bossu started writing material he deemed not fit for its emotionally chaotic turbulence, but once you listen to this album you'll probably convince yourself otherwise. This album is actually closer to any Amenra material than Lennart Bossu originally intended it to be, the only difference being that Predatory Void consists of songs that are a direct punch to the gut when compared to Amenra's more atmospherical nature. The rhythmic section of both Amenra’s and Predatory Void’s material is also slightly different, but just like everything else in the album, you don’t get the gist of it at first listen. The vocal intensity (if we may call it like that) remains the same, but Amenra’s rhythm section is a little more sludgy in some songs and isn’t as versatile as Predatory Void’s.

To clarify this last point, take songs like “Grovel” or “Endless Return to the Kingdom of Sleep” as fine examples: The first one starts with a very recognizable sludgy pattern, but as it progresses it builds in intensity towards an easily identifiable (and kind of frantic) death metal sound, as the chaos within it starts to take over. But there’s a passage in the song (“Undying light/Seeming so pure/Entering me/So insecure…) where the song seems to slow down a little bit and the clean voice of Lina R. paints an unsettling picture, as it echoes through the ears like a voice from deep inside your head. The same happens with the latter: “Endless Return to the Kingdom of Sleep” starts with the same sludge metal progression but the difference is right in the very beginning. While on “Grovel” Lina R.’s growls immediately shatter the proverbial glass ceiling, on “Endless Return to the Kingdom of Sleep” it’s the combination of pounding drum sections and clean vocals that sets the mood, though the latter presents a better sense of progression (rhythmical and lyrical) than "Grovel" itself.

“Seven Keys To The Discomfort of Being” is not only a nice case of versatility, but of minimalism as well. 95% of the album is built upon thundering drums, relentless guitar work, pounding bass and almost demonic screams, but then there’s “Seeds of Frustration”, the shortest track of the album. At three minutes and a half, you may think the song is unstoppable and unapologetic death metal-meets-hardcore-meets-sludge metal case of fury and some resentment. But it’s actually a surprising opposite: A surprisingly acoustically driven ballad of instrospection, where Lina’s voice soothes you to sleep and disturbs you with the ephemeral reality of life at the same time.

To sum it up, "Seven Keys To The Discomfort of Being" is not an easy album to listen to, or at least to unpack at the first listen, presenting us an interesting blend of genres that go from hardcore to sludge, from black metal to death metal (not to forget doom metal) and even brings some mellow acoustic tips to the table. The title is in consonance with what we are supposed to expect as far as lyrical concept goes – there are “Seven Keys”, so there must be seven different realities. It is disturbing, unsettling, uncomfortable. But that's where its beauty resides: The complexity presented creates space for every emotion to be felt, and the discomfort you continuously feel allows every demon to be purged. Even though it is very difficult to categorize the album in a single (sub)genre, its ecletism is certainly something that should be - and will be - taken into account."

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2023 12:41 pm 
 

Hey, if I'm not mistaken your review was lacking a bit in the description, as in, more drawing parallels with the members' other notable bands and less describing the album on its own merits. Although, having another read at it, it doesn't seem as problematic as I recall. Only thing I'd add is that maybe it's a bit hard to understand what the band is actually playing, especially when not familiar with the names mentioned (I'm not), until the last paragraph effectively clears it up. But I'd be glad to hear a second opinion on it.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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gasmask_colostomy
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1640
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2023 10:00 pm 
 

I think I rejected an earlier version of that review for more or less the reason Burning said. It’s better in the form it is now, but it would improve so much if you just put the last paragraph at the beginning, or scattered that core information throughout the first few paragraphs.
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From_Wisdom_To_Mabt
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 06, 2005 4:04 am
Posts: 258
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:27 pm 
 

I had my review for Broken Hope's second album rejected. Most of the reasons were valid, such as it being somewhat short (even though the length of my review is equal to that of thousands of reviews I have read over the last 20 years here...but anyway), I couldn't help but be mystified at this note:

"Something to consider is that you never mention the genre of the album and the reader has to work it out by other things you mention."

D'wha? I need to explicitly say the genre in every review I do? I would like to think somebody who navigates to a death metal band would understand that the review they are reading is for, I DON'T KNOW, a death metal band?

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:46 pm 
 

1. Keep calm.
2. Post your review if you're asking for a more detailed explanation.
3. If I were you, I wouldn't compare my writing with other reviews from 20 years ago... the site's gone a long way since then. But if you feel we are doing a great injustice by leaving some of them online, you can report them in the Oven Fodder thread.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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From_Wisdom_To_Mabt
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 06, 2005 4:04 am
Posts: 258
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:57 pm 
 

I'm not asking for a more detailed explanation. I'm referring to that very specific line. The one I quoted.

And I'm speaking for 20 years worth of reviews, not solely reviews from the beginning of MA. Come on now.

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TheBurningOfSodom
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:28 am
Posts: 598
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 7:12 pm 
 

It's the same thing, standards evolve with time and 15, 10, 5 years ago were accepted reviews that were worse than what we can accept now. It's natural. Again, change your attitude if you want to have a civil discussion.

As for the line, your point doesn't tell everything... you can still reach a review from the homepage, or from your own page – neither of them is the page of the band. Although I'd argue that BH are well-known enough to overlook the mention. But note that that alone isn't enough for a rejection, so I'd recommend you focus on the other issues that were pointed out and try to correct them, instead of worrying so much about this.
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A very promising new reviewer wrote:
Big, juicy, veiny, throbbing hard riffs. Big heavy knuckle dragging, cock swaddling compositions for those in fear of soap/bathing. Listen at your own risk. No signs of intelligent life.

It's the dawn of descending...

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