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Help with proofreading
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=115266
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Author:  Osore [ Fri Jul 01, 2016 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Help with proofreading

Hi, I would like to ask a native English speaker to proofread my review because it was suggested upon its rejection. I don't think there's a lot to be fixed, just a small details, but I need to ask here because I don't know native English speaker in person.
I hope this is not a Herculiean request. Here's the review:


Shock chewing gum

Sorrow Plagues was one of my favourite bands in post-black metal niche until this record came out. An Eternity of Solitude and Disconsolate EP showed that David is capable of creating music enriched with lethargic, but strong sorrow that has enough variety which makes every repetition successful.

When single Aspiration (lately included into self-titled album) was released, I was satisfied with it because it provided something new and kept nice atmosphere. After a while, second single called Fade appeared and I immediately identified it as an evil twin of Aspirations for its overused elements that resemble violin or a synth (or other synthetic and artificial indefinable 'instrument'). When album appeared it was clear that this long sound is stretched like a cheap chewing gum through entire record except for the last song, Redemption.

I can forget usage of a drum machine (with decent dynamics here), but putting guitars in a background and giving them only a few small spots where they can settle down awfully repeated bright robotics in a favour of a more natural, forlorn sound that shares with it only the same notes. This is a clear example of how the same stuff played on different instruments (and software) can completely change the emotional effect.

Songs have a potential to develop, but they disappoint very quickly which is easy to hear on Surrender that sounds promising in first 16 seconds with nicely distorted, swirling guitar(s), before the drums appear, stepping on a mentioned gum that sticks vigorously for 3 minutes and after that recedes for a few seconds in a favour of some nostalgic notes which appear to be played on a piano (you're never sure with 'multi-instrumentalist'). Only Redemption succeeds in achieving good quality 'cheerful melancholia' typical for post music and it's not because it's the most post-rock and the least post-black track here, but because it doesn't want for us only to chew, it wants for us to eat, to feast on its black bile mixed with victorious spices in ratio 1:3. Length of Redemption is justified by ability to holds attention with 'positive gradient' (or crescendo) that is being built from the beginning until the end; same strategy and similar sound is used by post-rock bands like Sleeping Bear, Líam and If these Trees could Talk.

If you like uplifting post-black metal very distanced from black metal's essence, this record might be your cup of tea. And if you have auditory problems, don't worry, there's nothing to shock you.

Author:  Osore [ Fri Jul 01, 2016 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help with proofreading

I think this is the right place on Metallum to post my request, so I moved it there: http://www.metal-archives.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=16487&p=2640011#p2640011

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