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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: Anywhere in the Galaxy
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:19 pm 
 

DecemberSoul wrote:
Hey, who hasn't heard a "total silent song" yet? :-D


:lol:
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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 1567
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:43 pm 
 

It's Simon & Garfunkel's greatest hit. I don't get why a cover version would get so much hate :(
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:19 am 
 

Image

:scratch:
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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 1567
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 11:40 am 
 

Judging from the length of the text and the quite ok capitalization, this is not a review but a song/album title of a post rock band.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 10:59 am 
 

The end...
Image


Me being a writter :nono:
Image


A must have for your Christian thrash metal collection :scratch:
Image
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 4:41 pm 
 

Image
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:04 am 
 

Ah 2003, where track-by-tracks were common, nobody knew how to write, and the best musical description one could come up with is "it's pussy metal."

Image
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 310
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 4:01 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
A must have for your Christian thrash metal collection :scratch:
Image


How have I survived for so long, without a complete Christian thrash collection?
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Cat III
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:44 am
Posts: 359
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 8:06 pm 
 

And no mention of Hirax, the only one that's actually good.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:45 pm 
 

Image

yeet yeet motherfuckers
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 310
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 12:01 pm 
 

Yeet \m/
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Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:43 am 
 

Image
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:32 pm 
 

"It's so powerful that your stomach will damn."

.. I can't improve on that.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10508
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:52 pm 
 

Derigin wrote:
yeet yeet motherfuckers

That kimchi talk :lol: fucking 한국인, man haha
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2019 10:11 pm 
 

Interesting takes from these two different fellas:

Image

Image
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3469
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:51 pm 
 

Image

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10485
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:41 pm 
 

One typo, three capitalisation errors and one punctuation error isn't that much, I bet most regular reviewers have reviews up with similar numbers of errors.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:50 am 
 

Image
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 234
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:50 pm 
 

Let's do a collective digging.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5689
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:21 pm 
 

Image

What.
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 863
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:36 pm 
 

They appear to be reviewing something else... but occasionally bringing up Blackthorn as some kind of example in their unusual analogies. They also seemingly forgot to describe the music.
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Smoking_Gnu
Chicago Favorite

Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:22 pm
Posts: 4745
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:47 pm 
 

HouseSpiders wrote:
They appear to be reviewing something else... but occasionally bringing up Blackthorn as some kind of example in their unusual analogies. They also seemingly forgot to describe the music.


It's like someone ran an ANUS/DMU review through five languages then back to english in google translate.
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MutantClannfear
Blank Czech

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:12 am
Posts: 3469
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 4:37 pm 
 

The content of the review isn't that remarkable, but the formatting... yes, that's the end of the review as it was submitted.

Image

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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1020
Location: Behind the wall of fire v.2
PostPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:59 pm 
 

Quote:
James Hetfield of Jason Newstead

I never realized James joined Jason's side-project :lol:

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droneriot
incelgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10485
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:29 am 
 

MutantClannfear wrote:
yes, that's the end of the review as it was submitted.

The Black Beast of Aaaarrggh strikes again.
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ᴎostalgiʞK
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:27 pm
Posts: 234
Location: Argentina
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:04 pm 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Quote:
James Hetfield of Jason Newstead

I never realized James joined Jason's side-project :lol:


Hahahauahauahau.

I believe this user tried to say "James Hetfield or Jason Newsted" xd, whatever, this review is illegible, but somewhat >(somehow)< understandable...
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 863
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:49 am 
 

Well, I just rejected my first review.
Image

It seems there is no way to find rejected reviews, so I'll try to recall my rejection message.
Quote:
The submission did not properly follow the guidelines. In order for your review to be accepted, you really need to improve your description of the music. Unfortunately, your review leaves the reader with little to no insight as to what the album actually sounds like - all I see is a brief history about the band. For someone who has never heard of Rhapsody of Fire, this could even be a review for a black metal band. Please read the guidelines carefully next time - in our rules, we have a list of content you should write about in your review.''
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2019 1:12 am 
 

"Take your seat foul-mouthed fan boy!"

ex-HouseSpiders, I salute you.
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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 863
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:11 pm 
 

Thank you, Grave_Wyrm.

These ''awful submissions'' are actually more common than I had imagined. I thought they were just the odd once a week exception.
Image
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Midnightwards666
Heavy Metal C-3PO

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:05 am
Posts: 863
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 8:23 pm 
 

I actually know Battle Dagorath very well, and this review was fantastic but Interstellar Lord forgot to do one thing - describe the music. Image
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Formerly known as HouseSpiders
vacca wrote:
"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

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Metantoine
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11883
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:05 pm 
 

Review of their debut album:
Amon Amarth are difficult to label with just one term. There's a definite element of death metal in the music, yet calling them that would be terribly misleading as they sound nothing like Morbid Angel, a typical death metal band. They're not 'melodic death metal' either as they're technically and musically quite different from the early Swedish wave bands, see Inflames or Dark Tranquility.

So instead of spending time thinking of the right label, it seems wiser to break down what their sound is made up of. On their first studio full length here, they use a death metal rhythm section of rapid fire drum kicks, heavy overhead use, forceful toms, backed by a prominent bass presence, and for the guitars a heavy use of tremolo picking. The vocals, by viking giant Johan Hegg, would fit here as well as they are growls, loud shouts and screams and contribute rhythmic patterns rather than melody. The actual music, however, at its core is anything but death metal in what it conveys. It's a lot closer to something like gothic metal, albeit heavier, as it is deeply sorrowful and has a penchant for suspended power chords with reverby leads playing on top. It should really be emphasized just how much the focus is on sheer, heart-wrenching sorrow.

Every song offers a new aspect of the same concept. No song repeats the same old formula without supplying a new idea at the heart of it each time.

To not make this too long, I'll just end by saying the first verse riff to the track 'Amon Amarth' towards the end of the record is possibly, if this choice of words makes sense, "the deepest" melody I've ever heard. It sounds primordial, and ancient, like it came out of the abyss of human history. It's as invigorating as it is unsettlingly moving. Absolutely hair-raising moment. It blends the abrasive epic, with deep, seasoned beauty. Like this record generally does.



AMON AMARTH IS GOTHIC METAL YOU GUYS.
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gasmask_colostomy
Metalhead

Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 5:38 am
Posts: 1020
Location: Behind the wall of fire v.2
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:03 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
AMON AMARTH IS GOTHIC METAL YOU GUYS.

Yay, glad to see this thread is back! Until the last couple lines of that review, I couldn't even guess what album it was for. And the debut is probably the most obviously death metal of all AA releases.

Btw Antoine, Luger?
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Metantoine
Lazy Wizard

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11883
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:07 am 
 

gasmask_colostomy wrote:
Metantoine wrote:
AMON AMARTH IS GOTHIC METAL YOU GUYS.

Yay, glad to see this thread is back! Until the last couple lines of that review, I couldn't even guess what album it was for. And the debut is probably the most obviously death metal of all AA releases.

Btw Antoine, Luger?


Added that it was for their debut!

Oh yeah right! My digital version is lossless, I wanted to convert them to something smaller but I forgot. I'll do that now.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 28036
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 8:35 am 
 

I like that he spends a huge two paragraphs rambling about what genre it is or isn't, then just goes 'well, don't want to make this too long, review over!'
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9819
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:08 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
It's a lot closer to something like gothic metal


Well I was expecting a wrong answer but not that one!
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