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Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14619
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Author:  CandideCamera [ Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I snagged a couple but the post didn't go through, but this one will.

Review for Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Ozz

Quote:
Ozzy Osbourne-Blizzard of Ozz - 90%
Written by king_panzer on September 29th, 2005


Sweet ass title, and extremely good album to go with it. Must i say more?


To quote a well-known comedian:
"Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love,
I don't even want, none of the above
I want to pee on you

Hopefully I'll catch a couple more before I get drunk and shoot people.

Author:  Visionary [ Sat Oct 08, 2005 11:35 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wouldn't it just be easier to post this in the thread directly below and have a topic assigned to crappy reviews?
:scratch:

Author:  Bloodstone [ Sun Oct 09, 2005 1:34 am ]
Post subject: 

Yeah I agree. I love reading these, and n00bs/idiots might learn something from reading them.

Author:  Visionary [ Sun Oct 09, 2005 2:28 am ]
Post subject: 

Bloodstone wrote:
Yeah I agree. I love reading these, and n00bs/idiots might learn something from reading them.


Yeah plenty of examples of what consitutes an acceptable review but sometimes the best way to get people to learn is to show what is not acceptable.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem 10-08-05

king_panzer wrote:
Sweet ass title, and extremely good album to go with it. Must i say more?


Apparently yes.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Sun Oct 09, 2005 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Visionary wrote:
Wouldn't it just be easier to post this in the thread directly below and have a topic assigned to crappy reviews?
:scratch:
Back in the Pax Metallum there was one of these about every couple of days. A sticky for it would be a good Idea though, just change the title when updated.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well we could keep bumping this 'til Nightgaunt crucifies it or one of us...

Author:  CandideCamera [ Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Review for Höyry-Kone's Hyonteisia Voi Rakastaa

Quote:
231 - 52%
Written by blaknight on October 7th, 2005


good


Profound.

Author:  ogmetal [ Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
This group sucks - 0%
Written by foxhole on October 10th, 2005

Two simple words about this ablum it sucks



speedemon, these guys are funny at first, but they lose their charm quickly. I'd like to give this guy some points just so I can take them away.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 

eh, i think they aren't even funny, they're sad to begin with. but when brought to the forums, it's a good ego stroke and a chuckle every time.

Big laugh on the points thing :lol:

Author:  CandideCamera [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:30 am ]
Post subject: 

Review for Negurã Bunget's Inarborat Kosmos

Quote:
NEGURA BUNGET - INARBORAT KOSMOS - 90%
Written by Matei on October 11th, 2005


One of the best and only black metal bands from Romania , strikes back ! This E.P contains four songs : a black metal part (Wordless Knowdledge , Uprising Follow) and an ambient part (Vaiet , Cint de Susur) . This is a transylvanian black metal masterpiece .


You review?... eh, not so much.

Review for Fate (Dnk)'s A Matter Of Attitude

Quote:
Give pop rock a chance. - 100%
Written by EthanismadeofMETAL on October 11th, 2005


I picked this up on vinyl (the only way to go with this kind of stuff) for two dollars. It's a pretty good album, no qualms about it. I like this kind of stuff, based on the fact that I enjoy 80s dance music along with 80s metal. I give it a 100% because I own it and I enjoyed it.


Wow, someone has "special needs".

Author:  CandideCamera [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:35 am ]
Post subject: 

Review for Lujuria's Unete Al Escuadron 69

Quote:
ramonbarrosolopez - 100%
Written by ramonbarrosolopez on October 10th, 2005


unete al escuadron 69


Was this supposed to mean something?

Author:  CandideCamera [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:41 am ]
Post subject: 

Reviews for EVO's Animal de Ciudad

Quote:
animal de ciudad - 100%
Written by agord on October 10th, 2005


lyrics of the songs of the album animal de ciudad


Is this even a real person? Fuckin a.

Author:  Nightgaunt [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:15 am ]
Post subject: 

Stickied the topic, so if anyone sees a particularly repugnant mindmiscarriage, they can post it here (after stepping on its partially-formed skull, of course--you aren't done when you hear the crunch, but rather when you see the squirt) in the interests of science.

Author:  Peregrin [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:19 am ]
Post subject: 

I have to ask, what distinguishes this from the similar Oven Fodder thread?

Author:  Cynical [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:32 am ]
Post subject: 

This is stuff that the mods post that never made it out of the queue.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:33 am ]
Post subject: 

Its a sign of how large Oven Fodder would be if they didn't check it.

Author:  Nightgaunt [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Peregrin wrote:
I have to ask, what distinguishes this from the similar Oven Fodder thread?


If you ever see something appear in both threads, it's a sign that somebody needs a pinkslip.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

speedemon86 wrote:
Reviews for EVO's Animal de Ciudad

Quote:
animal de ciudad - 100%
Written by agord on October 10th, 2005


lyrics of the songs of the album animal de ciudad


Is this even a real person? Fuckin a.


Jesus Christ. :lol:

Author:  stickyshooZ [ Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

Now I see why some mods get bitter over the review queue.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Note to writers:

Do not, do not submit 100% reviews for Nile (or any band for that matter) without stellar writings to support it, or you will look like a flaming fanboy. Also if you use the word pussy especially where it applies to listeners not so fellating of the album, I will mock you until I get carpal tunnel and might even put in a consideration to have you dursted.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Review for Edguy's Hellfire Club

Quote:
Sepulman8 - 100%
Written by Sepulman8 on October 13th, 2005


Ovo je fucking dobar album.












by:Pujko


...Huh?!?

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:13 pm ]
Post subject: 

Review for Varnacht's Rites of Baphomet

Quote:
A Good Start - 85%
Written by False_Saint on October 12th, 2005


Varnacht...this local band from westchester county is one very good raw black metal band in New York. For their first cd, it was a good head start also it is very grim. But there are some disappointments that you will encounter in listening to this cd. One is that the amplifier for the lead guitar overides the drums, so much that you can barely hear the drums at all. This is because due to the poor record company,Masquerade Records, they are signed with. This record company reduces the potential sound quality that Varnacht has to offer us . Second would be the tone of voice that Svag does, it is good but can improve more than it is now. But other than that, it's a very good start for Varnacht.


What? This review isn't all that craptacular compared to the others featured here, but I've seen excretory functions reviewed in greater detail. Like perspiration for example!

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

'also it is very grim'

:lol:

Author:  PseudoGoatKill [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

PseudoGoatKill wrote:
Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.
It definitely gives off the "Look ma, I can only strive to maintain definitive coherency!" vibe.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

Review for Taake's "...Doedskvad"

Quote:
Most unimpressive. - 64%
Written by HangmanOfPrague on October 12th, 2005


I must first say I was an eager one to catch this album. I thought yes another great Taake album! But I was sadly mistaken. This is just a complete repeat of Over Bjoergvin Graater Himmelrik. Continueing exactly where ...Over Bjeorgvin... left off. Most unimpressive and disapointing. A few catchy guitar riffs. And still in denial of writing actual english lyrics I see, not good at all. Part III actually did tickle my fancys but I wouldn't suggest purchaseing this album for this one song. My suggestion to you all is download it before purchase. And if you don't like it delete it.


The title - The review

Coincidence?

Author:  Nightgaunt [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

PseudoGoatKill wrote:
Another tip to reviewers. Do not type...like...this...it's...realy ir...ritating...and tells me......you have to think....too hard....about the...album.


You can write a multi-page review in the style of a post-graduate thesis, but if I see you use "u" for "you" even ONCE, I will destroy it.

Author:  Thorgrim_Honkronte [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yes, I really hate that shit too.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

Review for Napalm Death's Scum

Quote:
FUCKING AWESOME! - 100%
Written by THRASH666 on October 13th, 2005


This album is the best album i've ever heard. The production values suck, but that adds to the charm in my opinion. Plus the overall sound is enough to scare your mother. I mean if you played this album late at night, some one would call the cops reporting a murder. The vokills on this album are a mix of throat mutilating roars and raspy screaches, an awesome combo if you ask me. However if your looking for a band with extremely complex song structures with wonderfull solos and melodies, forget it. This band, and album in particular, are simple. 4-5 lines of politicaly charged lyrics, a basic riff and constant blast beats, maybe a solo that lasts for 7 seconds. But in no way is this bad, i love it.


Since I seriously question the existence of ND fanboys, I'll just go ahead with the theory that this guy has an extremely simple mind.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.

Author:  OlympicSharpshooter [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

speedemon86 wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.


Ayuh? Never run across it. Still rather funny to me though.

Author:  Nightgaunt [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

Nightgaunt wrote:
It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.


I haven't even seen that before. It certainly doesn't fit under the sign of evil!

Author:  Visionary [ Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 

OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
speedemon86 wrote:
OlympicSharpshooter wrote:
^

"Vokills"?

That's awesome.


You've never heard that term? It's legit, though I don't hear it as often.


Ayuh? Never run across it. Still rather funny to me though.


I have seen that in a few reviews on here. I thought it was just more engrish.

Author:  Gutterscream [ Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Nightgaunt wrote:
It's written "vokillz" equally as often nowadays. That's a sign of something...but I'll leave it to your imaginations.


Written like that, it looks like something Insane Clown Posse or Slipknot would come up with.

Author:  Nightgaunt [ Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

For Dimmu Borgir -- Puritanical Blah Blah Whatever.

Quote:
Black Metal At It's Finest.... - 100%
Written by Odio_Pieno on October 14th, 2005

The Best Produced Album They Have Done All Around Everything Comes In Clear And Does Not Sound There Older Stuff Where It Is The Same Rift Over And Over Really If You Can't Say It Is Not A God Like Album Then Don't Listen To Metal Really Cause You Have No Idea What Your Talking About And The Whole Thing That Orchestra Is Lame Or Overrated Then You Really Don't Know Your Roots The Is Great On All Aspects And It Tops There Musical Capablities.

m/ "Keep The Metal Faith Alive" - Chuck Schuldiner m/


"Rift" is probably the single worst piece of metal-related Engrish ever. Hundreds of times worse than "trash" or "solows."

My reply:

Nightgaunt wrote:
End your life. Do it painfully; do it brutally; do it messily. But most importantly....do it soon.

Author:  CandideCamera [ Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:08 am ]
Post subject: 

I just rejected one as nastily as that, but I didn't feel like putting it up for display. Only 4 in the queue now, and I've been up for 14 hours, so i'm done for the day.

Author:  Bloodstone [ Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Nightgaunt wrote:
For Dimmu Borgir -- Puritanical Blah Blah Whatever.

Quote:
Black Metal At It's Finest.... - 100%
Written by Odio_Pieno on October 14th, 2005

The Best Produced Album They Have Done All Around Everything Comes In Clear And Does Not Sound There Older Stuff Where It Is The Same Rift Over And Over Really If You Can't Say It Is Not A God Like Album Then Don't Listen To Metal Really Cause You Have No Idea What Your Talking About And The Whole Thing That Orchestra Is Lame Or Overrated Then You Really Don't Know Your Roots The Is Great On All Aspects And It Tops There Musical Capablities.

m/ "Keep The Metal Faith Alive" - Chuck Schuldiner m/


"Rift" is probably the single worst piece of metal-related Engrish ever. Hundreds of times worse than "trash" or "solows."

My reply:

Nightgaunt wrote:
End your life. Do it painfully; do it brutally; do it messily. But most importantly....do it soon.


:lol: :lol: :lol: MY EYES!!! :ugh:

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