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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:43 am 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 1:29 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Sepulchrave
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:29 pm
Posts: 1680
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 2:18 pm 
 

Quote:
His body simply can not be at rest during the listening. Even the French growl sounds sexy. What a wonderful language!

*licks lips* Go on...
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Ку.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 9:22 pm 
 

Not the Engrish disaster that most of these are, but this should give you an idea of the kind of Metallica reviews the queue has been inundated with lately (too long to screenshot, as you'll see):

Good at best, Mediocre at worst. - 68%
Bass Clarinet Man, December 2nd, 2016

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Quote:
So the time has come yet again for Metallica to finally put out another album. With a near decade long gap between this album and death magnetic, it seems only natural that Metallica would have taken those eight years to improve what worked on death magnetic and use that knowledge to make their best record in years.


They didn't


Now don't get me wrong, this album isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it is deeply flawed.


First of all, let's look over the positives. This album sounds MUCH better than the compressed to fucking hell sound we heard on death magnetic, and some of the songs are really good, damn good.


The biggest example of this is the highly praised track "spit out the bone" its a great song, with heavy and fast riffs, decent drumming, and memorable solos. If you're a classic Metallica fan like myself, this is exactly what you're looking for,


"Hardwired" the opener, is similar. Though it is over much quicker than "spit out the bone." Its the standard fast opener that has become a trademark of good Metallica albums.


"Atlas Rise" is another great tune. About halfway through I was fully convinced that they had stolen the music from Steve Harris, but that wasn't the case. "Moth Into Flame" is also pretty good, but I don't have much to say about it.


Now let's get to the negative aspects of this album, oh boy.


I know that only a few moments ago I was praising the production for this record, and this may sound like a contradiction, but at the end of the day this is how I feel. The production on this album is too damn clean.


Let me explain, some of the best Metallica albums (with the exception of master of puppets) don't have what I would call "Mainstream production" and there's a reason. Albums such as ride the lightning and ...And Justice For All sound heavier than they actually are because of their flaws. Ride the lightning is a fearsome album, and it has a nice, dirty sound, while Justice may lack bass, the guitar tones are spot on and the drums actually sound pretty good.


Hardwired...To Self Destruct just sounds to clean. This isn't supposed to be a shitty mainstream rock album, this is Metallica, and yeah, I get that they've sold out in many ways over the years, but these guitars just sound awful and uninspired. Even death magnetic, as terribly compressed as it was, still had decently heavy guitar tones. This record does not. it's just way to over produced.


The actual playing isn't much better with the obvious exception of tracks like "spit out the bone" the riffs on this album are unmemorable, and uninspired. They sound like any other rock album theses days. If it wasn't for the fact that Metallica wrote them not a soul would care to ever listen to them again.


The bass is that great either. Robert is a very good bassist, but his parts on this record are just like the riffs, standard, paint by numbers rock. Not much to say.


The last section of this ensemble is of course the drums. It seems that everyone has their own opinion on Lars, and I'm not gonna get to mine in this review. But on this particular album, Lars really doesn't care. All he does is attempt to follow the songs tempo while playing standard drum parts without any real exciting moments.


You've probably noticed one of my biggest issues with the record already, it's simply not memorable. Almost every song on this record is the same mid tempo shit with boring riffs, memorable solos, and depressing drumming.


These issues become very obvious once the second disc begins. Out of all of the six later tracks, I really only care for one of them, the closer "spit out the bone" which I've already discussed.


Metallica marketed the second disc as being more progressive musically than the first. If by progressive they mean shitty songs paired with good intros then I guess they were right.


To be honest "Confusion" actually pissed me off the first time I heard it. It beings with Metallica outright plagiarizing the opening of "Am I Evil" (which they have already covered). After the opening it becomes another standard, mediocre Metallica song that will probably be quickly forgotten.


The only other song that warrants any mention is "Murder One" and if it wasn't a tribute to Lemmy than I probably wouldn't have even mentioned it.


This song made me cry, for all the wrong reasons.


First off, it again has a pretty good intro, that, if the remainder of the track had actually been good, would probably go down as one of the better intros to a modern Metallica song.


But then the main riff kicks it, and it perfectly summarizes, in song, all of the problems with this record. You'll get tired of it, you'll hate it, and Lemmy will roll in his grave.


It's pretty sad to hear a Motorhead tribute that sounds nothing like Motorhead. Especially since it's on a record already overflowing with mediocre tracks. The lyrics aren't much better either. By simply invoking song titles and singing of Lemmy's no fucks given attitude, James thinks he can win us over, But it's terrible.


imagine if instead of this shitty mid tempo track, the band would have paid their respects with a fast, chaotic song that is not only Metallica but oh so Motorhead.


While we're at it, let's imagine a better record overall. Because I'm honestly done. There is no reason for me to mention songs such as "Am I Savage?" or "Manunkind" since their respective flaws have already been addressed through the other songs. If you're a fan of Metallica, than I strongly recommend you simply download this album's standout tracks (listed below). Otherwise, do NOT purchase this album in full unless you're extremely curious. Don't make the same mistake I did.


Standout Tracks: Hardwired, Atlas Rise, Moth Into Flame, Spit Out The Bone
Decent Tracks: Halo On Fire, Dream No More
Terrible Tracks: Now that We're Dead, Confusion, Manunkind, Here Comes Revenge, Am I savage?, Murder One.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:02 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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meshigene
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 92
Location: neverwhere
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:15 pm 
 

having dismember_marcin as a major influence is rarely a good thing.
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last.fm

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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 651
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:12 am 
 

Quote:
The large span tempo tracks, which is not surprising storm climate, on the contrary, wonderfully complements it.


The one argument climate change deniers needed is finally here.
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Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:51 pm 
 

When I saw this username in the queue I knew the submission would be unacceptable.

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:11 pm 
 

Really running out of enthusiasm when most users treat me like absolute trash:

Image
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 9471
Location: St. Charles, Illinois
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:37 pm 
 

I like how he forgot to change the title.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:59 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:16 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
Posts: 2540
Location: Bucketheadland
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:06 pm 
 

OH MY GOSH

Why did you not give him a pass, Dia? Didn't you see his note?

He German!
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raspberrysoda wrote:
It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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ratedgdr
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:03 pm
Posts: 324
Location: Northeast Wisconsin
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:45 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Really running out of enthusiasm when most users treat me like absolute trash:

Image


No way that story is better than "The Ugly Barnacle."*

I should note I hate SpongeBob SquarePants and only used that reference as a comparison.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3921
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:56 pm 
 

This page is really depressing.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:09 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:08 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Tanuki
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:36 pm
Posts: 371
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:23 pm 
 

I think that might be a run-on sentence.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3921
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:33 pm 
 

I wish more music reminded me of a bellows. :(
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Iron Wizard
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:21 pm
Posts: 135
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 11:46 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Really running out of enthusiasm when most users treat me like absolute trash:

Image


I must hand it to him...he could be a good childrens' book author if he got rid of the vulgar language and unrelatable topics. He's definitely familiar with his cliches.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 4:19 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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novakm
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:52 pm
Posts: 308
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:57 pm 
 

It's never a good look when the first word of your review is a misspelling of the band's name...

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:10 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 1:46 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1837
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:11 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
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The first sentence caused me to read this in Mario's voice. "It's a me, Mario!"
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything

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flexodus
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 4:16 am
Posts: 2315
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:59 pm 
 

When even the tempo is mostly constant :drool: :nods: :thumbsup: :metal:
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Varth wrote:
I am getting pissed thinking about all the dumbass fake punk my sister made me listen to

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Metantoine
Big Beautiful Famgot

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 11776
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:46 am 
 

From a review in the queue :)
Quote:
When I look for new artists, the one key point I have above all is production quality (I'm looking at you back metal).
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CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Metantoine, what does "fam" stand for, "familiar"? Like a witch's familiar?!...Have you been playing d & D again?...

Metantoine's Magickal Realm

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:14 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5314
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:16 pm 
 

Metantoine wrote:
From a review in the queue :)
Quote:
When I look for new artists, the one key point I have above all is production quality (I'm looking at you back metal).


You know a band that can never be back metal? Front Beast! :thumbsup:

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:26 am 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3921
Location: Across the croggy plain
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 12:12 pm 
 

Seventh grade reading level is still some way off.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 2:52 pm 
 

More translator-fed garbage:

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 651
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 2:12 am 
 

Usually, I don't laugh this much on badly translated reviews, but that is gold :D
Quote:
"... a job which involved our communications for a rather extended period and is consequently childbirth longer than the thirty-year history of the band from Essen."

Quote:
"... lyrics of a certain thickness to which Mille has now pleasantly accustomed us..."

I also loved the re-naming of "Lion With Eagle Wings" into "Eagle Lion With Wings".
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Wilytank wrote:
"Of Terror and the Supernatural by Temple of Void is miles ahead of It's midnight in Neverland and I can't get my dick out of this unicorn; Volume 8 by Nightwish in both the amount of heaviness and lack of keyboards."

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5314
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 12:42 pm 
 

TheWaltzer wrote:
Quote:
"... lyrics of a certain thickness to which Mille has now pleasantly accustomed us..."



Quote:
"... thickness to which Mille has now pleasantly accustomed us..."


:gay:

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:16 pm 
 

Spoiler: show
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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The Crazy Old School Music Fan
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri May 27, 2016 12:13 pm
Posts: 131
PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:00 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
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Looks like I made somebody mad. :lol:

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:45 pm 
 

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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TheStormIRide
Certified Poser

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:45 pm
Posts: 1837
Location: Brazildonesia
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:52 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
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"How low can you go?" - Ludacris
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POZERKILLER wrote:
damn I think ive already heard everything

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5578
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:30 pm 
 

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Enjoy!
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:31 pm 
 

Lol nice save. I rejected that and wished I would have saved it to post here right after I clicked.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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