Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives
https://forum.metal-archives.com/

Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14619
Page 68 of 71

Author:  Diamhea [ Thu Sep 14, 2017 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

meshigene wrote:
that supposed to be remarkably/hilariously bad?


In my opinion, yes. However, due to the user's more recent attemps to improve i decided to remove it.

Author:  skitzorgasm [ Thu Sep 28, 2017 9:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

It almost seems like these people think these are supposed to be like product reviews for Amazon. I also feel kinda bad for the translation reviews. Reading these is not as funny as I thought it was going to be, it's pretty sad.

Author:  Diamhea [ Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  colin040 [ Thu Nov 09, 2017 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

''If you are a blacker, this is for you'' :lol:

Author:  Derigin [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

This is just too glorious.

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  Storm of the Light's Bane [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

LMAO

Author:  Antioch [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Whoa! Derigin must be expecting some talking-to, I suppose... I wonder whom he'll approach, though. Normally, one would approach Derigin, but, in this case, it'll defeat the purpose.

Author:  Derigin [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

My reply:
Spoiler: show
What are you? A soccer mom in a retail store? "I demand to speak to the manager." Good God, the entitlement.

I'll be frank with you, since it's pretty clear you didn't understand the previous reply I gave you: your review is shit. In fact, it's hardly even a review. Oh, it's a 'brutal death metal' album. Fantastic, like I couldn't figure that out by just looking at the band's page here.

Your review tells the reader nothing. It's one of the "best brutal slamming death metal albums to date." What does "best" sound like to you? "Highest quality production." This means what, exactly? "Most vigorous instrumental craftmanship." Again, what does that involve? "Most compelling, violent story driven lyrics." Why should this even matter? I could go on, but there's really not much more left to go on. Your review is one half a tagline for the album's liner notes, and one half an advertisement for an entirely different album.

The moral of the story: Nobody can read your mind. You need to tell the reader what these things mean.

Also, for the record, you expect my overlords to speak with me? Dude, nobody does that here, let alone speaks like you do. "Overlords." LOL.

Author:  DecemberSoul [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Derigin wrote:
My reply:
Spoiler: show
What are you? A soccer mom in a retail store? "I demand to speak to the manager." Good God, the entitlement.

I'll be frank with you, since it's pretty clear you didn't understand the previous reply I gave you: your review is shit. In fact, it's hardly even a review. Oh, it's a 'brutal death metal' album. Fantastic, like I couldn't figure that out by just looking at the band's page here.

Your review tells the reader nothing. It's one of the "best brutal slamming death metal albums to date." What does "best" sound like to you? "Highest quality production." This means what, exactly? "Most vigorous instrumental craftmanship." Again, what does that involve? "Most compelling, violent story driven lyrics." Why should this even matter? I could go on, but there's really not much more left to go on. Your review is one half a tagline for the album's liner notes, and one half an advertisement for an entirely different album.

The moral of the story: Nobody can read your mind. You need to tell the reader what these things mean.

Also, for the record, you expect my overlords to speak with me? Dude, nobody does that here, let alone speaks like you do. "Overlords." LOL.


Amazing how restrained and (still relatively) polite you remained towards such levels of imbecility.

Author:  Diamhea [ Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  ~Guest 135946 [ Mon Nov 20, 2017 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image


At least that one knew how to count so he's got that going for him.

"I dropped two and more tears." Once in a while there is a slight poetry to terribly broken English, like it came from a teenager who just read Shakespeare in his freshman English class and then hit his head on the door frame while walking to math.

Author:  Subrick [ Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Rating: 95%

Last line of the review: 10/10

He's not that good at math. Or reading comprehension.

Author:  Diamhea [ Tue Dec 26, 2017 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  PaganiusI [ Tue Dec 26, 2017 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Review...Report...its all the same to me *heavy guitar solo*

Author:  Wilytank [ Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

The continuation:
https://www.metal-archives.com/report/b ... /mode/page

Author:  DoomMetalAlchemist [ Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Wilytank wrote:


It seems weird he'd add the release in 2009 and then (apparently) not want it gone until 2017, and desperately want it gone, at that.

Author:  Diamhea [ Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  Diamhea [ Wed Jan 10, 2018 11:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Image


Canonical example as to why track by track reviews are generally a really bad idea.

Author:  Diamhea [ Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  ~Guest 135946 [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image


For such a stupid gimmick he actually could have gone for an alright review if he just elaborated. I'd like to see that one tackle a Goatwhore album.

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

What's wrong with hot air balloons & goats? They make a fine pair...

Author:  Lich Coldheart [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Doctor Sausage writes a review for an album titled 'Millennium' but writes about goats saying that they are the most consumed meat world wide... Is he trying to imply that this is the millennium of goat sausages or am I overthinking this?

PS: Are goat sausages even real?

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Apparently, goat meat tastes particularly gamy when the beast is un-castrated...

Author:  Lich Coldheart [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Apparently, goat meat tastes particularly gamy when the beast is un-castrated...

It does and, in my opinion, it sucks. :p

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Sun Jan 14, 2018 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Lamb's better.

Author:  Rompestromper [ Mon Jan 15, 2018 6:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

CHAIRTHROWER wrote:
Apparently, goat meat tastes particularly gamy when the beast is un-castrated...


yeah, goat is good meat from males before the 9th month when testosterone interferes with the tase, but castrated ones and females don't have the problem.
but thats just of topic

Author:  ~Guest 135946 [ Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Lich Coldheart wrote:
PS: Are goat sausages even real?


If it has intestines you can make sausages. You can put whatever you want in the sausage so long as that coating holding it all together used to push poo into the colon.

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Mon Jan 15, 2018 11:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Yum.

Author:  Diamhea [ Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  Lane [ Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Diamhea wrote:
Spoiler: show
Image

Oh, another one meant as a post to a forum, not as a review :D

Even though there it stands: "My first review..."

Author:  ~Guest 135946 [ Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

That's not even the worst thing about that whole shit show. Seriously, no wonder it got all zeroes from the other writers. Those lyrics look like Vogon poetry.

Author:  Diamhea [ Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  CHAIRTHROWER [ Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

That Harakiri - Twilight of the Idols...was that the entire review?! If it is, it's short, short!

Author:  Diamhea [ Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  TheWaltzer [ Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

That ending was fantastic :D But my favorite moment was this:

Quote:
The album reeled me in with it's eye-catching album cover but vomited a whole load of musical diarrhea in my face as soon as I started listening!


Seems like that Nargaroth album is so bad it made mixing-and-matching bodily functions possible. (Needless to say, of course there is already a band called Diarrhea Vomit on the Archives.)

Author:  Diamhea [ Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  Diamhea [ Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image









Spoiler: show
Location: Italy

Author:  ~Guest 135946 [ Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Looks like the Romans are still jilted by the failures of their ancestors to conquer into Scandinavia.

Author:  Diamhea [ Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Author:  Diamhea [ Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
Image

Page 68 of 71 All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/