Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives
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Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected
https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14619
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Author:  DecemberSoul [ Mon May 21, 2018 8:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

"keeping your ears on your toes" - completely lost it at that :lol:

Author:  EzraBlumenfeld [ Mon May 21, 2018 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I nominate Babbette Baboon for Scribe.

Author:  BastardHead [ Thu May 24, 2018 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Spoiler: show
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Author:  Subrick [ Thu May 24, 2018 9:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Please tell me he's talking about an album that isn't even groove metal.

Also, "crimilaly".

Author:  BastardHead [ Thu May 24, 2018 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Aw shit I cut that part out, IT'S BEEN A WHILE OKAY.

It's for The Law by Exhorder.

Author:  Andreas_Hansen [ Fri May 25, 2018 9:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

BastardHead wrote:
It's for The Law by Exhorder.


Oh I was pretty sure it was Cowboys from Hell prior to reading this post.

Author:  BastardHead [ Mon May 28, 2018 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Author:  Lolpah [ Mon May 28, 2018 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I think we should scribe The Metal Evening Standard.

Author:  Deathdoom1992 [ Mon May 28, 2018 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

At least he's described the music a little this time.

Personally, I love this guy's reviews. They're hilarious.

Author:  Bates [ Mon May 28, 2018 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

A little better meter and formatting, and what more could you ask for?

Author:  BastardHead [ Mon May 28, 2018 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

This is like if somebody's ten year old brother tried to recreate the_navy_blue_vicar's legendary Dopesmoker review. I'd accept this nonsense in a heartbeat if the rules were looser.

Author:  Xlxlx [ Tue May 29, 2018 1:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

The entirely contextless "IGGY POP WITH HIS HEAD IN AN OVEN" cracks me up like you have no idea. Every time I stare at that sentence I just start guffawing like an imbecile.

"OPINIONS VARY" at the end is also stupidly hilarious.

Author:  Deathdoom1992 [ Tue May 29, 2018 8:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I really, really, really hope one day this guy writes something in this exact way but has enough musical description for it to be accepted. I'd gladly read this guy's take on any metal album, replete with statements like "IGGY POP WITH HIS HEAD IN AN OVEN."

Author:  Andreas_Hansen [ Tue May 29, 2018 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

"Iggy Pop with his head in an oven" What the actual fuck mate.

Author:  Bates [ Tue May 29, 2018 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I just figured he was describing the vocals, man. I'm ALMOST tempted to listen, just to find out.

Author:  Andreas_Hansen [ Wed May 30, 2018 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Bates wrote:
I just figured he was describing the vocals, man. I'm ALMOST tempted to listen, just to find out.


Actually this was so badly-written that I wasn't able to tell what was the argument for each line, this one in particular.

Author:  Xlxlx [ Wed May 30, 2018 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

What the hell are you talking about? This is clearly the best review on this site!

Author:  Oxenkiller [ Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I just discovered this thread and I have never laughed so hard in my life after reading some of these. This is awesome, Best topic on the site! Now I'm almost tempted to write something in, say, Hrvatskan or Czech and use google translate on it just to see how it reads. (However, unlike most of the reviewers quoted in here, I would have enough sense not to actually submit it!)

Author:  DecemberSoul [ Wed Jun 06, 2018 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Oxenkiller wrote:
I just discovered this thread and I have never laughed so hard in my life after reading some of these. This is awesome, Best topic on the site! Now I'm almost tempted to write something in, say, Hrvatskan or Czech and use google translate on it just to see how it reads. (However, unlike most of the reviewers quoted in here, I would have enough sense not to actually submit it!)
:-D Well, humour is one of the most positive and outstanding qualities of human beings, so enjoy! I know I do.

Author:  Derigin [ Wed Jun 06, 2018 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Today's casualties:

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Author:  Andreas_Hansen [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Looks like they mistook reviews with Youtube comment sections.

Author:  PaganiusI [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

"I only listened to one of the songs and I didn't like it. Let's write a 'review' about the album"

What kinda logic is that?!

Author:  Twisted_Psychology [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Andreas_Hansen wrote:
Looks like they mistook reviews with Youtube comment sections.


I was thinking more Amazon reviews myself.

Author:  Cat III [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
I was thinking more Amazon reviews myself.

Makes me wonder if anyone has submitted variations of "Album arrived in good condition. Thanks." Even worse have to be the tons of "shit sandwhich" reviews that must have been rejected through the years.

Author:  gasmask_colostomy [ Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Twisted_Psychology wrote:
I was thinking more Amazon reviews myself.


Funnily enough, the reviews that hooked me into contributing regularly to this site were posted on Amazon before I thought of putting them here. Most of them were accepted straight away.

Author:  Goatfangs [ Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Looking at my review archive, the last bunch of reviews I did were for that April Fools thing where every review was accepted.

The very last one was a review for The Descent of Man by Sabazius. It read, in its entirety, "tl;dl"

Author:  Derigin [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Wat...

Author:  MDL [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

He/she actually started up with an interesting subject, but it just fell downhill in an absolute laughable way, what a shame

Author:  Derigin [ Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Author:  Derigin [ Sun Jul 01, 2018 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Author:  PaganiusI [ Sun Jul 01, 2018 10:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Derigin wrote:
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A for effort?

Author:  Derigin [ Tue Jul 03, 2018 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Author:  Derigin [ Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

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Author:  Five_Nails [ Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Derigin wrote:
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If your review is essentially "see the review below" why even write it? It would be better if he addressed the review and worked it into a conversation about the album but instead he pretty much just said, 'I didn't even need to write anything today'.

Author:  Derigin [ Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Image

Author:  Derigin [ Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

To think this has been on the Archive 14 years. Lordy.

Image

Author:  Andreas_Hansen [ Thu Jul 26, 2018 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Pretty much not beautyful.

Author:  Twisted_Psychology [ Fri Jul 27, 2018 9:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

He spelled bootyful wrong. For shame.

Author:  DecemberSoul [ Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

Hey, who hasn't heard a "total silent song" yet? :-D

Author:  Zelkiiro [ Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected

I could forgive "beautyful" if it happened once, because it's a pretty common typo. But 3+ times?! Jesus Christ, dude!

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