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| Crappy Diem: Here mods post awful submissions they rejected https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=14619 |
Page 23 of 76 |
| Author: | The_Emo_Hater [ Thu May 29, 2008 1:47 pm ] |
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Gutterscream wrote: For The Black Dahlia Murder's Nocturnal
BD FUCKIN M - 100% Written by bdmfreak on May 29th, 2008 this is BDM at their best and kicking mainstreem ass they fucking rock harder than the fags from tokio hotel PERIOD that all there is to say I pictured the giant ape in their video(Statutory Ape?) asshumping the vocalist while he pretends to be brutal. Speaking of assraping, I believe they need some lube to get their mainstream kicking footsies out of their mainstream ass. |
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| Author: | thomash [ Thu May 29, 2008 2:17 pm ] |
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Failure wrote: Can you feel it's thight grip
Devour you slowly The thighs! They grip me! What is this that gapes before me? AAAUUUGHH! It's devouring me! I'll never think of 'eating out' the same way again. |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:31 am ] |
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Something besides a review for Thy Will Be Done's Was And Is To Come Definitely worth a listen - 91% Written by technopunk on June 2nd, 2008 These guys are wanting to turn the tide in metal music. They are bold, and risk taking. The guitar riffs are polished but still feel passioned rather than sloppy. The vocals scream emotion and demand to be noticed. The reviewer Big Boss (or something) really needs to chill. You would think by his review that he took personal offense to Thy Will Be Done's music. Do the lyrics convict you and your defense is to lash out? Chill. I bet if you listen one more time with no expectations and judgements you may find that these guys are musicians doing their own thing, with a few influences from other musicians. I'm sure them man you are or will become has it's influences from someone outside yourself. Give these guys a break and take them for who they are, not for what you think they should be. No hard feelings, just breathe, listen, and be set free. -------------- Like he just couldn't scroll down and get the previous reviewer's name right. |
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| Author: | Wra1th1s [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:49 am ] |
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Gutterscream wrote: Something besides a review for Thy Will Be Done's Was And Is To Come
Definitely worth a listen - 91% Written by technopunk on June 2nd, 2008 These guys are wanting to turn the tide in metal music. They are bold, and risk taking. The guitar riffs are polished but still feel passioned rather than sloppy. The vocals scream emotion and demand to be noticed. The reviewer Big Boss (or something) really needs to chill. You would think by his review that he took personal offense to Thy Will Be Done's music. Do the lyrics convict you and your defense is to lash out? Chill. I bet if you listen one more time with no expectations and judgements you may find that these guys are musicians doing their own thing, with a few influences from other musicians. I'm sure them man you are or will become has it's influences from someone outside yourself. Give these guys a break and take them for who they are, not for what you think they should be. No hard feelings, just breathe, listen, and be set free. -------------- Like he just couldn't scroll down and get the previous reviewer's name right. Is it really that hard to remember The_Boss? Other than him going ramblomatic on our ass, it's not as bad as some of the miscarriages this thread gets. |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:17 am ] |
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Other than the fact that he really doesn't describe anything about the music except that first 'paragraph'. |
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| Author: | Wra1th1s [ Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:22 am ] |
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Gutterscream wrote: Other than the fact that he really doesn't describe anything about the music except that first 'paragraph'.
That's what I meant by ramblomatic i.e. to talk out of one's bum so much, that one tends to ramble on about stuff (in this case Big Boss(sic).) Plus it wasn't even a really good description. Nice to see English standards are up though, even though 'coherency' and 'tell us about the fucking music' is still a foreign concept
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| Author: | Witcher [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 4:12 am ] |
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Antihuman consonances of disharmony - 95% Written by Inhuman_Nameless on June 6th, 2008 From the grim, cold vaults of Ukraine comes this equally cold and grim recording. Should tell that it is very strong and unique release. There are dark, moody notes, forming the most haunting soundscapes, and all with a guitar only! A complete atmosphere of dread. If one could watch fog turn to rust, it may sound like this! True evil bliss! First full-lenght of MOLOCH formation. Recorded in 2003 in totally intuitive way and remastered in 2006 a.y.p.s. A grayness and dampness of outward things envelop in shroud the free senses of damaged poisoned essence.. "Humane Too Sheeps" - as a result, incarnate in antihuman consonances of disharmony... 2 long tracks: "By the brand of fate 665,9" and "Stink of ulcerlife" create a great deep poisoned intuitive atmosphere of last days of wormhuman swampworld. Raw harsh poisoned sounds into the dark ambiental funeral passages... Endless nuclear winter... This formation creates soundscapes in various directions - from harsh noise and intuitive dark ambient to raw black poisoned metal... Sometimes combining these soundings, that makes MOLOCH sound even more unique, creating an original atmosphere of a cold, depression and detachment.. Originally this stuff was released in 2006 as promo cdr and promo tape (lmt.50) and re-released on tapes and cdr's with different covers and as some handmade stuff. Hail MOLOCH! --- A reason why band members should think twice, before they write a review for their own demo. Endless nuclear winter... all poisoned and all with a guitar only!
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| Author: | oneyoudontknow [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:52 am ] |
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Witcher wrote: ---
A reason why band members should think twice, before they write a review for their own demo. Endless nuclear winter... all poisoned and all with a guitar only! ![]() I think it was written in Ukranian or Russian by him and translated by someone, because from the contact I have had with him I can say that his English is not really good. Some bands seem to have some problem with the fact that they release crap and try to praise it, inspite of the abhorrently quality which is obvious to everyone with some musical background. I am not surprised that this has happened. |
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| Author: | Fulgurius [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:09 am ] |
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... |
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| Author: | OlympicSharpshooter [ Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:58 pm ] |
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Mary mother of run-on sentences. Quote: A small impairment, but still good. - 83%
Written by Dembo on June 2nd, 2008 When Attero Dominatus followed up the debut album Primo Victoria Sabaton proved to have accomplished another in making some more above average power metal songs mixed with clear standard heavy metal parts and with war related lyrics that grabs your interest more than many other band using simmilar lyrical subjects usually do. But what struck the listener then in negative sense was how very alike the song structures in both the albums were, since every song from Primo Victoria seemed to have its obvious equivalences on Attero Dominatus, even if it weren't about riff copying or so. This lack of originality are in a certain degree again something that hits me when listening to this new album. '40:1' have a simillar feeling in transition structure from verse to chorus as 'Attero Dominatus', allthough it doesn't put as much importance in sounding powerful. 'Panzerkampf' and 'The Price of a Mile', with their calm and stable structure have their resemblances with 'Rise of Evil' respectively 'Light in the Black'. 'Firestorm' is reminiscent in its fast pace, musically and vocally, to 'Nuclear Attack'. Where they have used these earlier templates the ideas on how to keep it interesting seems to have dried. And when they've tested something a bit different, the riffs are sadly kind of weak. It will be really interesting to see if they continue downwards in their creativity to their next album, or if they are able to find some new inspiration which put them in a positive differential position compared to most of the other bands in the genre. This album is definitely a continuation on the usual Sabaton path with catchy and powerful tunes. But as was the case with Attero Dominatus in relation to Primo Victoria, does The Art of War have fewer songs than Attero Dominatus that creates a desire to repeatedly listening to them. Three favourites: '40:1': The fourth track is really not a special song, but it works well in capturing what I think is the essence of Sabaton's more intense type of songs. Simple, catchy and uplifting. 'Cliffs of Gallipoli': This seventh song of the album is probably the absolute highlight. In this one, Sabaton shows that it's actually possible to use keyboards both in background and prominent purpose without letting it have an exaggerated role as substitute for lack of guitar skill. This is a balance that not too many bands in the genre seems to cope with. 'Panzerkampf': The ninth song on this album has its lyrical focus on a well known subject to Sabaton's listeners - soviets fighting nazis. 'Attero Dominatus' from their previous album was about when the Soviet Union took over Germany, and this one is really about the opposite, but with the weight being kept on the coming fall of the nazis. Musically the song mediate feelings of upbuilding, awaiting and marching. Yet again, a simple, catchy Sabaton song. - My response: Holy fucking shit dude your sentences are way too long and you need to proofread these things or the reader will slowly go mad because he won't be able to take a break and follow your thoughts or collect his own do you see how this might be a problem I hope so because I almost feel out of breath just typing a sentence this godforsakenly long I'm really not sure how you do it you must be like an Olympic athlete by the way this is meant to be ironic. - OSS |
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| Author: | failsafeman [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:57 am ] |
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A review for Gama Bomb's Survival of the Fastest Fucking leprecunts!! - 100% Written by chainsawcarnage on June 8th, 2008 Holy fucking leprecunts!! It’s thrash!!! The First time I listen this irish guys was when I was searching for some new blood on thrash metal last year, loads of retro thrashers than were no more than a mere repetitive rip off of classic acts with no passion at all(thank God that bands like Violator, Toxic Holocaust, Municipal Waste, Strikemaster, and Nocturnal exist, doing retro but with some originality and balls), Gama Bomb is not, even when we can find a strong influence from Anthrax, Tankard(lyrically speaking) or Nuclear Assault, they have his own very sound, with thematics as anti rascism(Racists),moshing thrash and his zombie/horror, comic, and sci-fi movie songs, the gang choruses are great and the crappy falsettos are the shit, I mean crappy in the best possible way, have so much fucking feeling, if this guys improve his singing style I'll probably wouldn't enjoyed so much the songs, just listen them on Helltrucker, you can't avoid to sing a long: I'm am a Hell truckaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!aahhhhh!!!!,fuck yeah. Well constructed and played riffs, most of the catchy(like the one on Scientists),and some well done what-a-fucking-feeling solos, specially the one on the middle of Atomizer, fuck! that solo is sexy...yeah, I said that a guitar solo is sexy...you got a problem with that amigo?, aaaaaanyway, as the other guys review said, there are not fillers here, all are enjoyable thrash/speed metal attacks to the vein, so my thrashbanger friend, put this on your cd player and thrash like is 1986. ------ Wow, an Engrish-ridden Boris imitation. Words escape me. The worst part is, the actual content of the review is decent, if you can actually stand to read that closely. |
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| Author: | Empyreal [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:59 am ] |
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I like that one.
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| Author: | Kruel [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:03 am ] |
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failsafeman wrote: The worst part is, the actual content of the review is decent, if you can actually stand to read that closely. Was that review for Gama Bomb's Citizen Brain? OlympicSharpshooter wrote: My response: Holy fucking shit dude your sentences are way too long and you need to proofread these things or the reader will slowly go mad because he won't be able to take a break and follow your thoughts or collect his own do you see how this might be a problem I hope so because I almost feel out of breath just typing a sentence this godforsakenly long I'm really not sure how you do it you must be like an Olympic athlete by the way this is meant to be ironic. - OSS
at this, too, more so than the review itself.
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| Author: | failsafeman [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:08 am ] |
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Kruel wrote: failsafeman wrote: The worst part is, the actual content of the review is decent, if you can actually stand to read that closely. Was that review for Gama Bomb's Citizen Brain? No, Survival of the Fastest. You remind me that I forgot to include that, though. |
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| Author: | Derigin [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:08 am ] |
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He has another review that's not nearly as enthusiastically hyper. I'm guessing "Hell Trucker" finally made him snap. Edit: Nevermind, it's probably plagiarism. |
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| Author: | failsafeman [ Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:12 am ] |
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Ha, and his other review turns out to be plagiarism. Good catch. |
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| Author: | Fanfarigoule [ Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:58 pm ] |
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Review for Devastator (Can)'s Devastator-Walking the darkness This is Lee - 100% Written by leecfur on June 15th, 2008 Hey boys its Lee, whats goin on? A best of CD - thats fuckin hilarious. I think I played on some of those songs, maybe maybe not. But I would really like to get a copy and find out how you guys are doing. Fuckin miss yall, my email is [email protected] get in touch with me - love to hear from ya. peaceee |
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| Author: | lord_ghengis [ Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:29 pm ] |
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Fanfarigoule wrote: Review for Devastator (Can)'s Devastator-Walking the darkness
This is Lee - 100% Written by leecfur on June 15th, 2008 Hey boys its Lee, whats goin on? A best of CD - thats fuckin hilarious. I think I played on some of those songs, maybe maybe not. But I would really like to get a copy and find out how you guys are doing. Fuckin miss yall, my email is [email protected] get in touch with me - love to hear from ya. peaceee haha, this thread can bring such joy. |
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| Author: | EntilZha [ Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:34 pm ] |
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lord_ghengis wrote: Fanfarigoule wrote: Review for Devastator (Can)'s Devastator-Walking the darkness This is Lee - 100% Written by leecfur on June 15th, 2008 Hey boys its Lee, whats goin on? A best of CD - thats fuckin hilarious. I think I played on some of those songs, maybe maybe not. But I would really like to get a copy and find out how you guys are doing. Fuckin miss yall, my email is [email protected] get in touch with me - love to hear from ya. peaceee haha, this thread can bring such joy. I don't find it worth laughing at that someone is trying to locate his former band members. He just did it the (completely) wrong way. |
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| Author: | Fanfarigoule [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:13 am ] |
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EntilZha wrote: lord_ghengis wrote: haha, this thread can bring such joy. I don't find it worth laughing at that someone is trying to locate his former band members. He just did it the (completely) wrong way. Yes, I agree. Actually, I wasn't posting this here as something laughable or crappy (as the thread says it) but more as something unusual. |
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| Author: | Empyreal [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:30 am ] |
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It isn't laughable in a crappy way; I just find the way he said it to be funny. |
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| Author: | Nightgaunt [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:29 am ] |
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For Aurora Forrest's Requiem For The Living: Quote: BRILLANT!!! - 100%
Written by Hytopsis on June 18th, 2008 Good work seth and nicole, this ablum is very different in a good way. It compiles so many different genras of metal its hard to tell. I do this you should include more of that seconds vocalist into your band. He is a very talented screamer and i believe he has a future in music. Also seth your vocals are ones that need to be listened to more often. You are a true talent and i hope you find more success in the future. In This Wake..., Requiem For The Living, and See You In Hell (The Fall Of Constantine) where by far the 3 best songs on the ablum. Nicole you have a very heavenly voice. When i hear you on With Hope Comes Misery i thought i was listening to an princess singing me to sleep. You truly do sound like vampiress princess with such beauty in her voice. |
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| Author: | Kruel [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:09 am ] |
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Wow, he sounds like he is writing a letter to the band members... |
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| Author: | Gothus [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:22 am ] |
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Nightgaunt wrote: Quote: Nicole you have a very heavenly voice. When i hear you on With Hope Comes Misery i thought i was listening to an princess singing me to sleep. You truly do sound like vampiress princess with such beauty in her voice.
This is littered with grammar errors. |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:00 am ] |
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The best of the seven or so reviews posted by this guy!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------ For Woods of Ypres's Pursuit of the Sun & Allure of the Earth New Kind Of Black Metal - 100% Written by Hungry_Hobo_of_Hope on June 19th, 2008 This has to be one of the best CDs in the universe!!!!! I mean even the aliens must be obsessed with this one. I was hooked on Opeth, couldn’t stop listing to them and now I’m here stuck on Woods of Ypres. This band really has its own sound, when I first heard it I was like ummm black metal??? really?? Then I was like yeah I guess it is. They are now my favorite black metal band and one of my favorite bands of all time. A MUST listen for anyone ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From start to finish flawless CD!!!! And as much as i love this CD some how my brother loves it more i dont know how but he does!!! its all he listens too!!!! From the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep Woods Woods Woods!!!!!! (in fact hes listening to them right now and its about 2 am!)He finishes each one of there CDs then starts them right over (no joke!). So Buy this NOW NOW NOW!!!!!! Greatness!!!!!!! |
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| Author: | lord_ghengis [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:51 am ] |
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I love the "It's great, don't believe me? My brother loves it more. check out how much he loves it." |
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| Author: | Acrobat [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:56 am ] |
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I'm going to use something similar to that in my reviews, 'My mum loves this album, just ask her!' |
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| Author: | MuffinMan [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:23 pm ] |
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When the family meets black metal... a 1 hour documentary starring -insert boy's familiy name- |
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| Author: | NecroFile [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:47 pm ] |
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I dunno, I actually the funniest thing about that review is the guy's screenname. Hungry_Hobo_of_Hope... |
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| Author: | hakarl [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:45 pm ] |
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Yeah, pretty obvious attempt at trollage. Very funny though.
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| Author: | failsafeman [ Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:09 am ] |
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A review for Abed's The Coming Of Soon: abed - the coming of soon - 90% Written by unmerciful on June 24th, 2008 this is the fantastic disc ---- The rest is coming of soon, perhaps? |
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| Author: | Abominatrix [ Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:17 am ] |
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MuffinMan wrote: When the family meets black metal... a 1 hour documentary starring -insert boy's familiy name-
The best part is, this band would be the perfect fit to star in such a documentary. Gah, they make me want to hurl. |
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| Author: | Wra1th1s [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:51 am ] |
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failsafeman wrote: A review for Abed's The Coming Of Soon:
abed - the coming of soon - 90% Written by unmerciful on June 24th, 2008 this is the fantastic disc ---- The rest is coming of soon, perhaps? Look no further metalheads! This is THE fantastic disc! For the life of me I can't figure out what people think when they type these things. |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:01 pm ] |
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One for Skyward (Fin)'s s/t album, submitted twice. good step to true metal - 80% Written by swampgod on June 26th, 2008 when i got the first song in this album called die happy i knew that this band are talented band and going on great direction with the clear vocal and the heavy metal Influence with gothik style wich is very good mixing between both geners the drums beats never been the same in the album . its good album wich every metal head should have it |
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| Author: | Witcher [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:45 pm ] |
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Reviews for Gridlink's Amber Gray The Wait is Over! - 95% Written by j053ph on June 26th, 2008 Finally, Jon Chang unveils his next grindcore masterpiece; the long awaited Amber Gray! I have to say, from this author's perspective, that this album is truly great. This album, and all of Gridlink's work in general, is recommended for any fan of Discordance Axis or most any grindcore for that matter! The drum work is perfect and the guitar work is amazing. The only two things that I would say aren't the best about this album are the lack of guttural vocals (the few that were exhibited on Discordance Axis tracks I enjoyed) and the lack of originality. Yes, I know, "what do you expect?" and I didn't expect anything but what Amber Gray delivered. This is not to say that the album isn't great (I think that I have clearly stated that) but I would have liked to see a little more distinction between Amber Gray and older D-A. All and all, I have no complaints about this album and I would recommend that any grindcore fan go out and buy this album immediately. PS: I found it laughable that Hydra Head was charging almost $40 (shipping included) for the t-shirt and CD package. ------ I would say, from this author's perspective, that this review could be written in almost the same style for every death/grind band on the Archives. PS: The price really sucks, but it has nothing to do with the music on this album.. |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:29 pm ] |
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Epic... For Void of Silence's Criteria ov 666 Criteria 666 - 100% Written by BlindOwl on June 27th, 2008 Nothing ... We Must Be Silenct ... This Is Very Very Best And Amazing ... So We Must Be Silent And Listen To This Music ... highest epic Doom Metal |
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| Author: | Gutterscream [ Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:12 pm ] |
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2 fer 1 for this big Quiet Riot fan - For Quiet Riot's Quiet Riot II Quiet Riot 2 - 80% Written by L_O_D on June 27th, 2008 AN album with 2 hits have the right to receive this note & For Quiet Riot's Terrified Quiet Riot Terrified - 50% Written by L_O_D on June 27th, 2008 Not the best album of the band ------------------------ - Riveting - |
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| Author: | Wra1th1s [ Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:39 pm ] |
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The last to made me and at the same time.
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| Author: | Witcher [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:54 am ] |
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Review for Fortíđ's Völuspá Part II - The Arrival of Fenris Fortid's Voluspa Part II, The Arrival Of Fenris - 100% Written by xXxMorkxXx on June 28th, 2008 I Give This A Remarkable One Hundred For Great Musicianship, And Heart Felt Emotion Poured into This Life-form, (Fortid). It Made Me Feel As If I Was Back In Medieval Times, Within A Vast Forest And The Only Thing You See And Hear Is The Wind Blowing Through The Trees. The Atmosphere Is Carried Gently With Each New Track, Telling Stories Of Mythology; Take Baldur's Murder For Example. As Titled, You Can Easily Assume What It's About. Other Than The Great Storyline And Well Written Lyrics, The Overall Listening Experience Of This Is Pure Pagan, Epic Black metal I'd Say; I'd Truthfully Just Call It Fortid, Because That's Exactly What It Is; Even Though It Shares Characteristics Of Black And Viking/Folk Metal. i'd Reccomend This To Any Black Metal Listener Who Enjoys It For More Than The Music And Vibe. This Is A Very Spiritual Album I'd Say, Just Let It Lift You And Carry You Through The High North Mountains And Forests. Completely Relaxing, Yet Rocking At The Right Moments. 100/100 *not over exaggerating* ---- Notice the interesting formatting, besides the lack of actual content... |
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| Author: | MikeyC [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:58 am ] |
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Why On Earth Do People Think It's Correct To Type Every Word With A Capital Letter? It's Too Much Work, Anyway. I did notice he didn't capitalise "I'd" to begin the 4th paragraph. |
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