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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:33 pm 
 

ReleaseTheBears wrote:
this review has now been rejected on 3 separate occasions for 3 separate things. the only reason given on the third time was to "read the submission guidelines." Which I have, several times. Cheers.

Yet here we are.

CONVERT: Sycophantic Aspirations of a Recovering Edgelord

Spoiler: show
Black Sabbath-Black Sabbath 93% [I do love this album]
(Do you? Bear ye no false witness, else ye shall answer to his grace, Saint Marcolin.)

I need to start you off with some necessary context; prior :nazi: to my first listening to Black Sabbath, I :nazi: was predominantly a classic rock fan with practically no knowledge of heavy metal. So the first time I listened to Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath on Black Sabbath (This is why reading the rules is important), I was confused. “Why do they sound like this? Why is this song so slow?” It was clear that I wasn’t getting it. On first listen I found this album hilarious and easy to make fun of from a “sophisticated rock palate” point of view (BEHOLD! The zenith of pretension!) for several reasons: the brutally hilarious drumming, the unexplainable volume drop at the end of Bassically, Iommi constantly ripping off Page, and Ozzy being, well Ozzy. :nazi: However, after several listens my opinion was transformed from derision and laughter, to :nazi: utter worship, and it dawned on me; this :nazi: band was doing something radically different from all the other 70s hard rock/heavy metal bands that I had ever listened to. They were doing something that would directly shape the future of music in a new direction: sustained heavy metal.
(Split up your paragraphs into their respective topics. Proofread. This paragraph is a mess, and it's your introduction. That's bad.)

Wow, Black Sabbath and A Bit Of Finger (Formatting) are actually truly evil sounding songs. Holy smokes, The Wizard is a rocking good chunk of fantasy funk metal. N.I.B… well N.I.B. was the kind of song that lyrically spoke to the tortured soul of a perpetually single young lad and then backed it up with a spine tingling guitar solo. Sure, Wicked World could still be made fun of for being “jazz Sabbath” but it wasn’t a bad tune either. (This is not the explanation of the conversion I was hoping for. What the hell do any of these songs sound like? Also, formatting.)

Among the best parts of this album are undoubtedly Iommi’s guitar work, and the evil atmosphere. Right from the start we get that evil atmosphere, with the church bell ringing in a storm, and then out of nowhere comes Iommi’s first thundering note, which seems to take an eternity before moving on to the second note (A swiftly-ended just over two-second eternity). The heavy guitar riffs combined with those evil lyrics sung by Ozzy create such a powerfully evil atmosphere. Even though Ozzy’s voice isn’t for everyone, it really suits the atmosphere on both the evil and non evil songs. (This is redundancy. ) Is it a problem that not all the songs have this evil atmosphere? Not at all, because tracks like the Wizard and N.I.B. are still filled with great riffs and vocals. (That sounds like what? Any hint of what kind of songs you mean?) Other highlights include Geezer’s entertaining bass lines, which anchor the songs in varied, meandering ways. (Wait, what? I thought this was all leading up to why the album was awesome, but all I got was that some of it's evil and some of it's not. If I had never heard this album, I would have absolutely no idea what it sounds like. This commentary is wan. Musical description requires describing the music. It's circular reasoning, but I like it.)

One of my two lingering complaints with this album is the incessant noodly soloing on side 2, punctuated by the constant Led Zeppelin homage/rip offs like some sort of a second rate Heartbreaker. One of the major reasons I consider Zeppelin to be nearly equally responsible for the creation of heavy metal is that without Zeppelin, there would have been no Sabbath as we know them. And finally Bill Ward’s clumsy drumming. If you are a half decent drummer, or have a good sense of taste and know how to keep the beat, you might listen to practically anything that Bill plays on this album and have a hard time not chuckling. Those fills on The Wizard? HAHA! He would definitely improve by Sabbath Bloody Sabbath though… (Wait what? I thought you were converted to a worshipper? So much for that claim.)

Still, a dastardly good album, and irreplaceably influential beyond a doubt.

(Conceptually, this review is a shambles. The flow of ideas is disorganized and all the attempts at description are unimaginative and uninformative. I don't believe for a second that the author worships this album. He should write the review he genuinely means. This review lacks a clear identity. The author is only articulate when casting scorn. If he would make his conversion the central topic of the piece, it may be salvagable.)
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Thunderwarrior91
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Jul 05, 2017 3:28 am
Posts: 1
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 8:24 pm 
 

Hi guys, please help me with my review.

Blood On Ice - Bathory

One of stages which metal has been passed is the viking metal; where it's about portraying moments, history and religion of Vikings (quite obvious), considering Bathory as the pioneer or the main precursor, because the rhythm they use in songs is that epic, troubadour sensation that makes you think "Wow, I'm listening to the heavy rhythm of vikings". I present you one of the albums which Bathory got to his cusp with. I also like the cover, almost all songs here are described in images. Blood on Ice was recorded in 1989 but released in 1996, because when it was recorded, Bathory was very focused in black metal, and Quorthon, the band's main creative leader (Rest In Peace), thought this wouldn't serve and fans wouldn't like; the thing is he polished his project and came out seven years later. Sincerely, I would have liked this album to be the successor to Twilights of the Gods, so this band would have a flawless catalog that every fan would boast of having "their first seven albums". But no, this album went on sale after the constant pressures by fans and after releasing two retro-thrash discs.

The rhythms are perfect, they are coquettish as I normally like, overwhelming and epic as fuck, although sometimes it slows down in Man of Iron or The Ravens but that's perfect, it lets you rest from so much crazy epics tunes and lets you think for a moment to know what's happening there. Although the production isn't raw and polished like their predecessors, the songwriting is pretty exceptional, enjoyable from start to finish, like a cinematographic trip while you listening to the story. Quorthon gives us an awesome heavy metal stuff with a certain proto-viking aura that will make you accompany the child in his epic battles against outsiders. Intro means the introduction to work, a small instrumental piece that presents a very well-developed exercise, a cinema beginning. It's not too long when the most rhythmic, elegant riffs make us enter to Blood On Ice and then, we have entirely acoustic passages like Man of Iron and The Ravens, which only adds variety and novelty. The acoustic intro and vocals of The Woodwoman and The Lake have exceptional performances that give off an emotivity and portrays a purely viking atmosphere. As if war preparations were concerned, the potent and powerful The Revenge of the Blood on Ice gives way to the great end that story deserves. In ten minutes this gathers the album essence.

How would this album be if had the same production of Twilight of the Gods? or that of the sophisticated Nordland? Sure this one would have the same estimation as those ones, and same massive recognition from fans, which unfortunately doesn't happen because this is a very underrated album, probably for being sandwiched between little-acclaimed albums. As I said, this album should have been released in 1994 or so. But everything affects to estimation that unconditional fan can grant to this, you probably prefer the Nordland's above this one, but anyway, this represents an essential puzzle to the evolutive study from their viking era. Just like the missing link, as our friend hells_unicorn said; there is always a connector that unifies the pieces and explains everything, and this album is the connector between their early twins Hammerheart/Twilight and the later Nordland saga, constituting a catalog of five albums representing the genre, being Blood Fire Death only a reminiscence of that.

Again, the instrumental section has an exceptional job, especially in the battery, who is Vvornth, and Quorthon's riffs are fucking bastard, as well as the both beautiful and harmonious arpeggios found up in The Ravens. With this masterpiece, we find again a melodic beginning, as if they told us the moments lived by young man and by all us, converted in both epic and majestic experience as an expected war that will be fought in a legendary world, along with our hero, mounted on galloping guitars and epic drums; also having the most hopeful and epic chorus and perhaps the most successful album from their early Viking era (1990,1991,1996). And this is friends, a clear example of how music makes us free, free to imagine, to create and to adorn the world for us. This has been my story... what is yours? Thanks for reading me.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:31 am 
 

Thunderwarrior91 wrote:
Quorthon's riffs are fucking bastard

That's going in my signature once I'm done with this. Thanks for that. You're absolutely right.

Well, I'm sorry to say that the language errors aren't going to make the site standards. More constructive criticism focuses on the flow of ideas. You have a lot of tangents going on. Your paragraphs tend to start out ok, but you invariably wander off into strings of other thoughts that wind up convoluting your point. Basically you just have to gather the splinters of your topics into their own places and you'll be better off.

Another aspect to develop is musical description, which we don't get much of until the closing paragraph. This may come down to control of the English language. I'm not left with much understanding of what the album is going to sound like. "The Lake" is an amazing song and is essentially unique in his whole career, but this review didn't do much to describe it or that departure at all. There are many opportunities to talk about just how bastard this guy's work is and this album is a perfect opportunity to do that. I think you definitely chose a good album to review, so keep working on it.

Honestly, I think it's off to a decent start if you think of this as a first draft. There's a lot to sort through when deciding what to say about this band as well as this album. It's not surprising that a first draft would be all over the place. It's where you try to get all your ideas out on the page in whatever order they come up; then you edit and flesh it out as you work on it. You obviously put a fair bit of work into this and it looks to me like you did the best you can with your level of English. There are pretty significant compositional issues that can be worked out with enough time, and I encourage you to not let those obstacles keep you from continuing.
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Twilightheart
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2017 11:24 am
Posts: 2
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:13 am 
 

I have written a review for the Leprous (Norway) album "Malina", as the promos were sent out to the magazines a few days ago. I cannot submit it. The reason given is: "There are no reviews for Malina yet. You can write one as soon as the album will be released, or when the band gets approved from the moderation queue." Why must the band be approved? There are several reviews for their previous albums. So the band should be approved. Or is metal-archives in general only accepting reviews after the release date?

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11193
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:46 am 
 

Twilightheart wrote:
Or is metal-archives in general only accepting reviews after the release date?

This. Only already released material can be reviewed, as the message states.

The part about approval refers to band submissions that are still pending in the queue and not yet properly listed.
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Luvers
Writes generic (and possibly meandering) posts

Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:34 pm
Posts: 542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:36 pm 
 

I submitted a review 13 days ago and no decision. This is it below:

- Certain albums can be heard just once and recognized for their greatness, that do not need to grow on you. You can still always hear something new and fresh with each listen, but it was known from the start that the music contained was something special. Deliver Us is such a release. The six - sometimes seven - blistering songs hit the listener hard upon first listen and never lose their incredible edge, aging gracefully in the face of an ever broadening Metal scene, including the power metal subgenre the band is linked to pioneering.

Now with such a description given, it raises the question; why has the material not been more successful? Why did the band fade into obscurity until the digital universe allowed the most obscure material to be more readily available? The answer to both questions comes down to a couple of unfortunate factors:

1) Originality! On top of being under a fledging label who did not have the money to properly promote them, the band did not make anything easier by destroying each step they made in making a commercialized song. To be fair, all seven songs have strong commercial sensibilities; the structures are simple enough to warrant airplay and the production is high enough that it did not lose its metal edge. They may have been cut from a commercial cloth but the progressive songwriting took away each tracks otherwise flawless attempt at writing a pop song.

2) Jack Rucker! This is the more ironic of the two points. Whatever the explanation is for Jack’s very brief stint in the band - and their inability to simply hire him back at a later time - he is and always will be THE vocalist for Warlord. Every other singer the band has used have all been incapable of simply placing Jack’s microphone stand in front of him at a gig. These songs will never sound better than here if with a different singer, these were meant for this one mans voice. It is not because he had anything to do with the writing - that according to chief songwriter William Tsamis - but because Damien King 1 had a masterful voice.

Of course an albums merit should never be judged only by its accessibility but how competent every expected trope is executed or how well it evolves. Naturally then, there are a couple factors as to why this album is, despite its still relative obscurity, one of the finest Metal albums crafted. It is a pretty bold claim but I hope to make clear why.

1) Mark Zonder! You are not a fan of percussion, regardless of genre, if you fail to at least know who this man is and what he does. To the point, his face should be on the Mount Rushmore of percussionists; an extraordinaire of the highest order. He is one of the most musical drummers ever in Metal, similar to an Ed Warby or Richard Christy, making his fills as composed as any other instrument. Maybe due to the production but each song Warlord has released all push Mark’s precision time keeping to the forefront and it was never dulled because of his reliance on…

2) Jazz! That is right. JAZZ! I should reveal that, despite writing on this site, Metal is not my favorite genre, it is behind both Jazz and Classical. This may be why I am drawn to this album; with its classical flourishes scattered throughout each songs many different passages. However I hear this album as just different kinds of Jazz played with overdrive. Sure, this album is Metal because there is a metallic crunch and sounds closer to an assault of blistering power then an orchestra for dancing. However, because of the reliance on Jazz percussion, the songwriting bleeds energy like few I’ve ever heard. My point of course is helped by the admission from Zonder himself that he plays Jazz when not playing Metal.


Moreover, all of the songwriting demonstrates Jazz leanings by focusing on intricate chord progressions that opened up an endless array of possibilities for fast lead playing. Playing abstract Jazz chords as lead in a Jazz setting requires a great deal of mental effort. Not to criticize Metal but it is much easier to show off her your chops as a guitarist. Chugging riffs with mountains of distortion are done by everyone, but when playing intricate chords as lead at a 250 BPM, with little to no overdrive, you better be damn good. It’s equally as exhausting to the mind as it is to the body. All of this Jazz talk goes back to Zonder and I think where that shines best is the centerpiece Lucifer’s Hammer.

I am not referring to the horribly thin sounding remake in 2002 with Joacim; this one is not embarrassing, just full of a bruising grandeur. A mournful piece about Armageddon is backed with a blistering rhythm, cymbals and toms ringing skillfully in harmony, benefited most by the periodic use of the double bass, instead of detracting from it. A less competent drummer would have just used a repetitive sixteenth note drum pattern played with double bass since he/she thinks every riff has been lifted from Stained Class. The use of chord sequences much more vibrant and in major scales give the sustained chords a chance to provide backing for that sporadic double bass and not the other way around.

Going back to the point about Jack Rucker for just a moment, this is also where he shines best. Every word he utters on the album is fantastic but it is the last line of the final verse, “Throw yourselves in and hide,” that sounds like part desperation and part terror, the sound of his voice fit’s the menacing lyrics so vividly. Also to note, each vocalist after Jack has made their own version and all of them are laughably inferior. It is much more objective to state Jack is the single most important factor in this EP’s greatness.

The only other song I should spotlight is Mrs. Victoria. I discovered Warlord in 1986 when I purchased, for $2.75, Metal Massacre III in a thrift store pile, stuffed between an album by, of all things, Rod Stewart and Elvis Presley. Compilations were very significant before the digital universe. Bought a copy of Deliver Us in 1990 just by remembering the name alone when it was in a record, though I forget the price that was.

I do not spotlight the song just because it was how I discovered Warlord, it also is the darkest song, lyrically, in the bands brief catalogue. These six minutes tell a brief story of insanity like few others can. It is a very clever take on a traditional heavy topic.

Of greater significance once again is Thunderchild’s percussion and King 1’s vocal delivery. Sure this song does have a killer guitar solo that, just itself, builds to a vicious crescendo, but even that is less purposeful than those killer drums.

Just like all but one song on this EP - Penny For A Poor Man - this also has a complex and brilliantly arranged climax. Right after the plot twist in the lyrical narrative, the character is left laughing insanely as the camera would pan out to show ‘Johnny‘ inside an asylum for the insane. King 1’s manic laughter leads to a very insane finale. This ending has so many stop and go twists, one must be amused by it.

I highlighted Lucifer’s Hammer and Mrs. Victoria because those two songs, at just 10 minutes, are mostly what Warlord has ever wanted to say. Everything after have been rehashes all with failed vocal attempts, so much so that the last studio album was just way inferior remakes aptly named The Hunt for Damien. Not sure why you fail to have seen the obvious but your first clue should be in the name, Hunt. Why have you been hunting? You grand slammed on your first pitch and struck out ever since. Reunite with Rucker and show everyone where you might have led to.

Every other incarnation of Warlord could be, but only this lineup shows what Warlord should be.


Last edited by Luvers on Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:37 pm 
 

List-type reviews like that are extremely discouraged.

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Luvers
Writes generic (and possibly meandering) posts

Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:34 pm
Posts: 542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:41 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
List-type reviews like that are extremely discouraged.
I can change that but are there any other problems?

Also, the "lists" were only me spotlighting two small facts. THAT is too much of a list?


Last edited by Luvers on Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:43 pm 
 

Outside of inconsistently capitalizing music genres (metal, in particular), no big grammar problems. Music genres are not proper nouns.
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Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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Luvers
Writes generic (and possibly meandering) posts

Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:34 pm
Posts: 542
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:47 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
Outside of inconsistently capitalizing music genres (metal, in particular), no big grammar problems. Music genres are not proper nouns.
Correct, I had meant to change that but cannot in my submission because it is not been decided upon. I will also change the "list." Was this too long and overly explained/worded?

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:57 pm 
 

Well, I'm not big on the formatting, but I'm only one opinion. It needs more input by other mods, and there is a discussion that has begun in the mod-only notes/discussion field.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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agogogt
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 10:44 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Spain
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 5:55 am 
 

I want to thank Diamhea for the patience, I don't give up. However, I want to know how to activate the "hide" option, just like spoiler post.

It was 1981 and Iron Maiden was a large band after releasing two very good albums. However, those previous albums present us how the band started to opens up to world, with great songs like Phantom Of The Opera or Killers, but still premature for a true level they might arrive. The distracted life of vocalist Paul Di'anno was beginning to jeopardize seriously the group's continuous ascension, and that was something who band's founding member wasn't willing to consent to. Consequences of all this: Paul Di'anno was expelled from the band. His replacement: the most powerful, energetic and dynamic voice from a man called Bruce Dickinson, dubbed "Air raid siren". However, this album might not be transformed in Dickinson's history, this album may be considered as an introduction letter to new vocalist, and in a certain way, as the birth of a renewed Iron Maiden.

Iron Maiden may be proud that, more than any other band from the 1980s, they not only gave birth to a new whole dimension of music, they also made it clear what kind of audiences they'll receive and assimilate. Their songwriting was so direct and their sound was so warm and welcoming, captivating instantly anyone who wasn't familiarized with their music. And they may be proud they made accessible stuff like The Number of the Beast since they reinvented the wheel with this spectacular record. If there's an album that could be called THE metal album, the one that summed up everything and could claim to be the best released ever, this album would have to be. Opinions will vary according to taste, but my taste is for total ass-kicking heavy metal and in my opinion, this is the epitome of it. Every song here is heavy as fuck, and we get albums like these to remember that metal can be heavy without having to be detuned in the guitars, bass, vocals, etc. Sometimes, this album mixes light and shade, mixes acoustic guitar with electric shredding and amazing solos. Anyone who thinks melodic is soft, they would get a real shock from this album, the degree of musicianship is amazing from all band's members, and Bruce's voice is so pure at this moment.

Invaders is a quite fine opener, it's a sudden, high, no-holds-barred starter and after you notice what's happened, you hear the delectable bass before the guitar's attack. 22 Acacia Avenue is sleek and sexy and Adrian's outro solo, along with Steve's bass, keeps the action over six minutes without waste. The album ends with Hallowed Be Thy Name, another legend that presents Bruce's superb vocals before breaking off and then speeding up, suffices to say the solos are great, this song features a classic Maiden trick which consists in repeat a riffing over and over until a saturation point before switching to another, luckily it works for them. The solos are incredible and features one of the best guitar abilities you’ll see ever. Nonetheless, not all who buys an album want to practice the guitar because I've seen how many want to learn an entire song but at the end, they only learn the intro. I can swear that isn’t my case. Some songs here are well put together, but my favorite master song from this album is "Hallowed By The Name", it's so well done and puts properly the cork on this one. Undoubtedly, everything on this record fits perfectly in both songwriting and musical performance from performers, the stuff might not be the same without Dickinson, his voice is the revulsive one the band needs, and with him, the group rises to another level, they arrive at the top of heavy metal world where Eddie would put his metallic ass, there is he since then. The beast roars!

To do a review for an album like this becomes a difficult task, especially if we realize the weight this album has. At this point, if not y'all, the vast majority of listeners know this work from top to bottom and they have realized that this isn't just "one more album" within discographies. Beyond all, the album bases are razor sharp guitars, shredding solos, brilliant bass work, pounding drums and incredible vocals. It's a quite simple format but is used to perfection, you wouldn't ask for more, right? Simply put, writing great songs can turn your band into a megastar, we know there was something more behind success, but every fan needs this album. Although The Number of the Beast was a disc of real importance in their ascent, is not the only one: Piece of Mind, Somewhere In Time, Powerslave and Seventh Son of a Seventh Son were also the milestones. In addition, anyone can have his favorite, but the truth is, without this one, your collection is incomplete, and I'm not talking about a simple heavy metal collection.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:04 am 
 

agogogt wrote:
Opinions will vary according to taste, but my taste is for total ass-kicking heavy metal

I completely agree.

First, a spoiler ...
Spoiler: show
... can be added to a portion of text in two ways that I know of: in the Full Editor (a link button can be found under the Quick Reply window at the bottom of every page, the Full Editor being distinguishable by its handy formatting tool bar over the text window, etc.) you'll find a button reading "spoiler" that can be pushed once your portion of text is highlighted; it can be added by hand by typing the code on either end of the portion of text you want to include. You can see the formatting code if you hit "Quote" on this post and read carefully. Happy hunting!


Second, the review: It's not too bad. There are still English language errors throughout that need attention (confusing phrasing and grammar errors). I'd say ask someone you know who is fluent in both languages to lend a hand. Compositionally, it's a decent first draft. It has a tendency to get repetative and includes a lot of historical information that might be useful in a general sense, but the review is for this album, not for Iron Maiden. It's a hard balance to find, I think, between context and content. My main note (other than "fix the language errors") is "put all the enthusiasm you have for the band into describing this album as well as possible."


Luvers666 wrote:
Diamhea wrote:
List-type reviews like that are extremely discouraged.
I can change that but are there any other problems?

Also, the "lists" were only me spotlighting two small facts. THAT is too much of a list?

Well, you used the same technique twice. At neither point was the format helpful to your case.

The major problem with the review is its protracted disarray. Its topics are strewn around in a stream of consciousness order, what musical description there is comes way too late in the review to be useful for a casual reader, and the last third of the review meanders through qualifications and half-floating thoughts. This review is very difficult to read, follow, and make sense of.

While the mods discuss the future of list review policy, I'll just ask you why you personally think it's actually useful. Why list them like that when they could just be discussed in paragraphs like any other discussion? I don't see the point of them outside of a more academic approach or for laying out a sequence of steps as in a manual, of which this is neither. The review needs significant work on structural organization, proofreading, and economy of language, formatting aside.
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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 175
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 6:36 am 
 

O.k., a couple of days ago, I had my review accepted for Hermóðr's Hädanfärd album. If you were to read it, you can see how much that album means to me. I mention this because of my next review. Now in this review, I am in NO way bragging, or anything this is just a true, honest feeling of his new EP "The Deep End". And, I also describe the music. I made it a bit personal, well because of what it is. I understand that it might not be accepted if it is "too" personal. This is why I am wanting to share this here. I do need to say something though....


I did send my draft to Rafn of Hermóðr earlier this morning, and he read it and said it was quite beautiful and that I write really well, and he has no problem at all with the context of it. But, he said that with it being personal, it might not get accepted. Then I mentioned about the M-A workshop, and asked him if he minded if I share it here, to get ya'lls opinion on it, to see if it's o.k. to submit this as is, or if I need to make any changes? He told me that I could. I have already run my draft through a spell/punctuation checker and have corrected all of those mistakes. So, this is my final draft... thoughts? (I'm really wanting this review to be submitted, so if I need to make any changes, please do let me know?)


------- Review --------


With this particular review, it will be known why this song means so much to me. This review is a personal one, and I will tell you why. With my other review of Hädanfärd, I had mentioned that back in January of earlier this year, I had come across The Darkness of December album. Since then, over time, we have grown so close in friendship (Rafn, and I) that over a seven-month time span, he has genuinely become my best friend. Rafn is such a beautiful person, and I see so much beauty within him, and all that beauty that he has inside, just flows so freely into his music that no matter what song or album, honestly everything he does is just so beautiful.


When he did “The Deep End”, I had no idea that he was going to dedicate his song to me! And, when he told me, I was so overjoyed I started crying. He said that it was waiting for me. I went to go listen to it, and when I did, for the first time ever in a song, I got so lost inside of it. He uses so much of his velvet-melting voice in this one. He said he did that, because he knew how much I love it. Every single time I listen to this song, it's almost like the first time I've ever heard it; as I just get so lost inside of it.


About the actual song itself, this is the best song that he has ever done. Not just because he dedicated it to me, but the fact that it is just pure, alluring brilliance. I can feel that so much heart, feeling and soul was poured into this, as I can feel it is so passionate. The music starts off with a mildly pleasant wintry feel. At (01:34) he starts singing with his melting voice, and every time he does this, it pulls me further and further into the song. The music itself is of varied splendor. From the very beginning, until (09:18) is just a smooth wave of entranced bliss. At this point it starts to get just slightly more impassioned. As the riffs intensify, here is where it leads up to something quite unusual. For at (09:34) it loops itself into a dark, symphonic haze. And in during that, a long, searing scream really adds an intense touch. And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song. And, the cover art honestly captures the spirit of “The Deep End”.


On Hermóðr's Bandcamp page of this (EP), he has written at the bottom “Dedicated to my friend Seanda.” This is a song that I will cherish so close to my heart, for a long, long time to come. Thank you Rafn.
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BastardHead
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:08 am 
 

Jesus it's like the world's most niche fanfic.
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Opus
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:10 am 
 

Spider_X wrote:
"The Deep End".
Spoiler: show
------- Review --------
With this particular review, it will be known why this song means so much to me. This review is a personal one, and I will tell you why. With my other review of Hädanfärd, I had mentioned that back in January of earlier this year, I had come across The Darkness of December album. Since then, over time, we have grown so close in friendship (Rafn, and I) that over a seven-month time span, he has genuinely become my best friend. Rafn is such a beautiful person, and I see so much beauty within him, and all that beauty that he has inside, just flows so freely into his music that no matter what song or album, honestly everything he does is just so beautiful.

When he did “The Deep End”, I had no idea that he was going to dedicate his song to me! And, when he told me, I was so overjoyed I started crying. He said that it was waiting for me. I went to go listen to it, and when I did, for the first time ever in a song, I got so lost inside of it. He uses so much of his velvet-melting voice in this one. He said he did that, because he knew how much I love it. Every single time I listen to this song, it's almost like the first time I've ever heard it; as I just get so lost inside of it.

About the actual song itself, this is the best song that he has ever done. Not just because he dedicated it to me, but the fact that it is just pure, alluring brilliance. I can feel that so much heart, feeling and soul was poured into this, as I can feel it is so passionate. The music starts off with a mildly pleasant wintry feel. At (01:34) he starts singing with his melting voice, and every time he does this, it pulls me further and further into the song. The music itself is of varied splendor. From the very beginning, until (09:18) is just a smooth wave of entranced bliss. At this point it starts to get just slightly more impassioned. As the riffs intensify, here is where it leads up to something quite unusual. For at (09:34) it loops itself into a dark, symphonic haze. And in during that, a long, searing scream really adds an intense touch. And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song. And, the cover art honestly captures the spirit of “The Deep End”.

On Hermóðr's Bandcamp page of this (EP), he has written at the bottom “Dedicated to my friend Seanda.” This is a song that I will cherish so close to my heart, for a long, long time to come. Thank you Rafn.


1st paragraph: You're friends with the dude.
2nd paragraph: Song's dedicated to you.
3rd paragraph: You like the song.

I have no idea what this band is, but from your description I gather it sounds like Vivildi's Winter, followed by something like a Mahler adagio with Nattramn screaming over it. Am I right?
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Spider_X
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Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:16 am 
 

Opus wrote:
Spider_X wrote:
"The Deep End".
Spoiler: show
------- Review --------
With this particular review, it will be known why this song means so much to me. This review is a personal one, and I will tell you why. With my other review of Hädanfärd, I had mentioned that back in January of earlier this year, I had come across The Darkness of December album. Since then, over time, we have grown so close in friendship (Rafn, and I) that over a seven-month time span, he has genuinely become my best friend. Rafn is such a beautiful person, and I see so much beauty within him, and all that beauty that he has inside, just flows so freely into his music that no matter what song or album, honestly everything he does is just so beautiful.

When he did “The Deep End”, I had no idea that he was going to dedicate his song to me! And, when he told me, I was so overjoyed I started crying. He said that it was waiting for me. I went to go listen to it, and when I did, for the first time ever in a song, I got so lost inside of it. He uses so much of his velvet-melting voice in this one. He said he did that, because he knew how much I love it. Every single time I listen to this song, it's almost like the first time I've ever heard it; as I just get so lost inside of it.

About the actual song itself, this is the best song that he has ever done. Not just because he dedicated it to me, but the fact that it is just pure, alluring brilliance. I can feel that so much heart, feeling and soul was poured into this, as I can feel it is so passionate. The music starts off with a mildly pleasant wintry feel. At (01:34) he starts singing with his melting voice, and every time he does this, it pulls me further and further into the song. The music itself is of varied splendor. From the very beginning, until (09:18) is just a smooth wave of entranced bliss. At this point it starts to get just slightly more impassioned. As the riffs intensify, here is where it leads up to something quite unusual. For at (09:34) it loops itself into a dark, symphonic haze. And in during that, a long, searing scream really adds an intense touch. And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song. And, the cover art honestly captures the spirit of “The Deep End”.

On Hermóðr's Bandcamp page of this (EP), he has written at the bottom “Dedicated to my friend Seanda.” This is a song that I will cherish so close to my heart, for a long, long time to come. Thank you Rafn.


1st paragraph: You're friends with the dude.
2nd paragraph: Song's dedicated to you.
3rd paragraph: You like the song.

I have no idea what this band is, but from your description I gather it sounds like Vivildi's Winter, followed by something like a Mahler adagio with Nattramn screaming over it. Am I right?

Hermóðr is the band name, I probably should've mentioned that at the beginning of my review instead of at the end. Good call on that, I may have to edit that part. Thank you! :) Never have heard of Vivildi's Winter, so I cannot comment on that.
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:27 pm 
 

I can't even consider this a review, properly speaking. It's barely about the song. I know next to nothing about what this song sounds like (a band name isn't enough). I know a lot ... A LOT about what it means to you.


"And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song."
What does this mean? I'm not you.

"And, the cover art honestly captures the spirit of 'The Deep End'"
I believe you, but I can't see it, so .. help a brother out.

etc.
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Spider_X
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Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:41 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
I can't even consider this a review, properly speaking. It's barely about the song. I know next to nothing about what this song sounds like (a band name isn't enough). I know a lot ... A LOT about what it means to you.


"And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song."
What does this mean? I'm not you.

"And, the cover art honestly captures the spirit of 'The Deep End'"
I believe you, but I can't see it, so .. help a brother out.

etc.

Thanks, Grave_Wyrm for your input on this! I was hoping I'd hear from'ya :) So, is it o.k. to leave in maybe at least (some) of what it means to me? Or, is this just too personal? I'm not really sure what to take out... I'm sure I can add more to it, just I've never had a song dedicated to me before, so I really want to review this EP, but unsure of the best way to do this, for it is just one track on the EP, so I can only describe it so much. Help?
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:07 pm 
 

Content is up to you. I'm not interested in shaming or restricting your personal content. It's entirely your decision how much of your personal life you share with the public (and that includes your name). As far as submitting it, I'm not a mod, so I can't do much other than point you toward the available criteria (e.g., musical description, and the rejectable track-by-track format simulated by the chronological narration). Stylistically, I think there's more at your disposal that would do this dedication justice.
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Spider_X
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:29 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Content is up to you. I'm not interested in shaming or restricting your personal content. It's entirely your decision how much of your personal life you share with the public (and that includes your name). As far as submitting it, I'm not a mod, so I can't do much other than point you toward the available criteria (e.g., musical description, and the rejectable track-by-track format simulated by the chronological narration). Stylistically, I think there's more at your disposal that would do this dedication justice.

Alright, the reason why I was asking about that, was at another time I was doing a review for Morbid Angel's Domination album, and when it got rejected, the reason being that it was "too personal", but not of the same kind of "personal" that this one is. My last name is not real anyway, not on here or on Facebook, I hate my last name so much I prefer to use the one I'm using that you can see on my M-A profile, so I'm not too all worried about that. Just wanted to be sure if any of that part was o.k.


The reason why this one is a bit tricky to me is it is just one song, at 16 minutes. And, I thought I was being pretty descriptive up to a point. What I mean is that after Rafn screams mid-way in the track, it starts back to how it sounded at the start, like as in repetitiveness after that part, which is why I simply said "And after that, it's just more of everything that I love about this song."


If I may ask you please, when you say "Stylistically, I think there's more at your disposal that would do this dedication justice.", could you maybe give me a couple or so ideas as to what you mean by this? I honestly want to make this better. But, I do not know what else to look for that you say is at my disposal.
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BastardHead
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:58 pm 
 

My problem with this review is that it's basically just gushing over the band and your personal connection with the dude behind it. As a reader, that doesn't tell me much except you're obviously going to love whatever it is. It taints your critique, because when you start off with two fawning paragraphs of how much you love the band and became best friends with the guy and this song is dedicated specifically to you and that act brought you to tears, the song itself could just be Kip farting on a snare drum and wind up with a perfect score. There's no rule against mentioning it, but when that's the basis of the entire review it really just sours the entire thing and makes the reader not trust you.

As for the musical description, it's mostly okay for just being one track, but basically giving up halfway and saying "the rest is just more of what I love" is lazy. If all it does is repeat from that point on, mention so. Which parts are repeating? How effective is it? Stuff like that.
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Spider_X
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Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:14 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
My problem with this review is that it's basically just gushing over the band and your personal connection with the dude behind it. As a reader, that doesn't tell me much except you're obviously going to love whatever it is. It taints your critique, because when you start off with two fawning paragraphs of how much you love the band and became best friends with the guy and this song is dedicated specifically to you and that act brought you to tears, the song itself could just be Kip farting on a snare drum and wind up with a perfect score. There's no rule against mentioning it, but when that's the basis of the entire review it really just sours the entire thing and makes the reader not trust you.

As for the musical description, it's mostly okay for just being one track, but basically giving up halfway and saying "the rest is just more of what I love" is lazy. If all it does is repeat from that point on, mention so. Which parts are repeating? How effective is it? Stuff like that.

Thank you! That helps me immensely! Really, I appreciate your feedback BastardHead. I understand exactly what you mean, and I did not even think of it like that; but you are right. After I re-edit this, you guys mind if I share it with you once more, to see if it's a more presentable review?
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BastardHead
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:53 pm 
 

Of course! Share it as many times as you like until you get it to a level you're satisfied with. That's exactly what this thread is for.

Trust me, we appreciate it when we get somebody like you who is actually receptive to the criticism. We're all here to help.
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iRaptr
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Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2016 7:49 am
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 5:04 pm 
 

Now that the exam season is over, I can continue my training on the review writing. I leave here my latest attempt.
I am conscious that the review has lots of flaws since i'm far from being a good reviewer and it is short (especially being an popular band) but any feedback is appreciated!
Spoiler: show
Sabaton is one of the most well-known bands in the Power Metal genre, currently headlining festivals around Europe. They started in 1999 and launched their debut, and a properly good one, in 2004, entitled "Primo Victoria". Sabaton has been very consistent since then in two area: the themes and the style. Regarding the former, (almost of) all their songs are about a war event that has happened in History. Their lyrics aren't exactly detailed in a historical perspective but provides a good amount of enjoyment and fun, mixing well with their style. Talking of which, also it didn't evolve much over the years. After their successful and good album "Heroes", the fans were expecting that the band would keep on its track. Unfortunately, it is a step back from the 2014's powerful album.

To begin with, this album they decided to make the album about famous Last Stands in History. This means of course, that the most famous one, also due to the cinematographic industry, would be included: the Thermopylae Battle, being the album opener. The song is one of the highlights, with its melody and "OOH-AH" chant challenging the listener to stand still while listening to it. The problem is that the album doesn't maintain that quality. "Last Dying Breath" is a standard (almost filler) song, just like The Last Battalion. In the latter, they replaced the drums with gun sounds, that in theory it is an interesting idea but it doesn't sound good as it is. On the other hand, the album has some high points: the title track, with its catchy chorus, the speedy Rorke's Drift sounding like a "Primo Victoria"'s song, and the incredibly catchy and melodic "Shiroyama". Regarding the member performances, as usual, Joakim Brodén in is charge of the pack. It's unique voice, blends in a great way with the songs theme's, although every other member deliver a solid performance through the album.

To sum up, if you already know Sabaton, you know what to expect: a solid album in their usual style. If you don't, I advise you to start with another album, for instance, "Primo Victoria", "Art of War" or "Heroes", this album doesn't quite stay on the trail of the latter. You are bound to have some fun with the album, either way, just don't expect a masterpiece of the genre. Put the CD on the tray, or in Sabaton style - Lock and Load! - and fire up the sound system!


Thanks in advance!
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Grave_Wyrm
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Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 12:29 pm 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Trust me, we appreciate it when we get somebody like you who is actually receptive to the criticism.

I very much agree.

I'd don't have much to add to BastardHead's post. It's really awesome that you had this connection with this artist. I might suggest putting that energy into how you write about the song, rather than describing the relationship to us. Reason being that it's your relationship, so anyone else reading can't really relate. At its most callous, the reaction could be something like "yeah, great it's a love story lucky them so what about the song?" Put the feelings to work for you as you write the review. Let the feelings support your technique. I don't really know how else to put such a hippy approach to writing, but there you have it. It's going to be a lot more effective for the reader than only telling us that those feelings exist.


iRaptr wrote:
Sabaton

Notes in spoiler
Spoiler: show
Sabaton is one of the most well-known bands in the Power Metal (genres aren't proper nouns genre, currently headlining festivals around Europe. They started in 1999 and launched their debut, and a properly good one, in 2004, entitled "Primo Victoria". Sabaton has been very consistent since then in two area: the themes and the style. Regarding the former, (almost of) all their songs are about a war event that has happened in History. Their lyrics aren't exactly detailed in a historical perspective but provides a good amount of enjoyment and fun, mixing well with their style. Talking of which, also it didn't evolve much over the years. After their successful and good album "Heroes", the fans were expecting that the band would keep on its track. Unfortunately, it is a step back from the 2014's powerful album.

(Very confusing/convoluted opening paragraph; focus your topic)

To begin with, this album they decided to make the album :nazi: about famous Last Stands in History :nazi:. This means of course, that the most famous one, also due to the cinematographic industry, would be included: the Thermopylae Battle, being the album opener. The song is one of the highlights, with its melody and "OOH-AH" chant challenging the listener to stand still while listening to it (I can't say I understand what this means). The problem is that the album doesn't maintain that quality. "Last Dying Breath" is a standard (almost filler) song, just like The Last Battalion. In the latter, they replaced the drums with gun sounds, that in theory it is an interesting idea but it doesn't sound good as it is. On the other hand, the album has some high points: the title track, with its catchy chorus, the speedy Rorke's Drift sounding like a "Primo Victoria"'s :nazi: song, and the incredibly catchy and melodic "Shiroyama". Regarding the member performances, as usual, Joakim Brodén in is charge of the pack. It's unique voice, blends in a great way with the songs theme's, although every other member deliver :nazi: a solid performance through the album.

To sum up, if you already know Sabaton, you know what to expect: a solid album in their usual style. If you don't, I advise you to start with another album, for instance, "Primo Victoria", "Art of War" or "Heroes", this album doesn't quite stay on the trail of the latter. You are bound to have some fun with the album, either way, just don't expect a masterpiece of the genre. Put the CD on the tray, or in Sabaton style - Lock and Load! - and fire up the sound system!


(Heh. Well, it's off to an enthusiastic start. The main issue is organization. It's fine that it's short, just get your topics together. The train of thought jumps around too much and makes it hard to follow. There are grammar and English errors, too, but mainly proofreading. Take another stab at cleaning this up. Decent first draft)
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Spiner202
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:20 pm 
 

A couple quick factual comments as well:

Primo Victoria came out in 2005 (rather than 2004), and isn't technically their debut. Fist For Fight came out first, and they also had another album that was later released in 2007 as Metalizer, that was supposed to be their debut. Not too sure the best way to word it, and Mods probably don't care too much, but just a headsup.

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iRaptr
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:47 pm 
 

Thanks a lot to both of you! :)
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Andreas_Hansen
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 4:36 pm 
 

Hi, everyone.
I am a newbie at reviewing albums (and at posting on this forum!) especially since English is not my native tongue. I tried three times to submit three differents reviews, but all of them were rejected because of, mostly, grammatical errors. I tried to improve my English as best as I could, and I used a grammar checker. But still, I think my reviews are not perfect. So I want to make sure to have a solid work for this site by submitting it to your experience. Can you take a quick look at my review, please? It concerns the new Tankard album.

Spoiler: show
Tankard is like the uncle that we might all have: we like him, we know him for a long time, but we don't take him too seriously because he's a drunkard. Tankard is not far for being like him: they were here for thirty-five years and they always provided a solid and effective thrash metal with super-dynamic riffs with the shrill voice of Gerre. That's why they are today included in a Big 4 similar to the American one. But on the other hand, when we take a look at the most recurrent lyrics themes, then as our uncle, we don't take them seriously. For thirty-five years, this band has mostly depicted fifty shades of beer back and forth. But when there are twelve album titles out of seventeen that are linked to the sacred beverage, it is immediately more difficult to take them seriously.
Imagine now your drunk uncle turning back into sobriety and talking about the Syrian crisis, lame and mind-numbing content on social networks with solid and believable arguments in order to convey a message. Won't you be astonished? Well, this is exactly what we feel when listening to this umpteenth album from the Teutonic old-hands. These two examples are actually two of their songs and the arguments are noteworthy serious and tidy riffs.
It sounds like Tankard had realized that they really had a good time in making music during all these years and the old age was near. Like they became aware that time has gone by so quickly since <i>Zombie Attack</i>.

This impression of seriousness is expressed all along the album with sometimes solemn and dark riffs ("Pay to Pray", "Syrian Nightmare", "Secret Order 1516"), and sometimes melodic and epic mid-tempo riffs ("Arena of the True Lies", "One Foot in the Grave", "Northern Crown"). We have this same expression again more generally in the drum set which has a very heavy and sustained sound. The best example here is the piece "Don't Bullshit Us!", where the drum set is played without a break. Gerre's voice, like the riffs, is sometimes melodic ("Arena of the True Lies", "Don't Bullshit Us!", "The Evil That Men Display") but also sometimes plaintive or accusing; the song "Syrian Nightmare" illustrates it particularly well. Here, the band is somewhat innovating, talking in concrete terms about a theme that has been, until now, not really broached by other metal bands: the case of the Syrian civilians caught between a rock and a hard place.
The most impressive thing about this album is not so much that the songs are melodics with more serious themes, but the fact that the band is still able to give us another good full-length up in spite of thirty-five years of thrash metal without a break. It is very impressive to see the German musicians producing more good stuff after sixteenth albums. Inspiration remains and Andy Gutjahr doesn't have to find some weird, convoluted riffs which would make immediately less good songs. Gerre's singing remains undamaged in spite of the time. Even better, it seems that it is improving. It remains shrill without going into guttural tones like Sodom's frontman Tom Angelripper, and it is diversifying. It is sometimes aggressive, sometimes plaintive, sometimes moralistic, sometimes happy... It is improving with time. Just like the good wine, after all!

If I never used to love Tankard I have to admit that they struck hard with this new full-length. So yes, it is another album among so many others... but it remains very satisfactory and shows us that Tankard has more than one trick up their sleeve.
To conclude, time is flying brings inner reflections and allows a more serious content. The main theme of this album showed the video clip of "One Foot in the Grave", is the incoming old age and it will be time to think about the retirement home. But the members of Tankard stay true to themselves and keep on doing irony in parodying themselves about their age: the oldest members are only fifty... far from the dinosaurs of the most famous Hard Rock band!
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:45 pm 
 

Andreas_Hansen: the review rambles. Also, please format the paragraphs correctly (one stroke of space between each). Your English composition is good enough to be able to streamline your thought process, and just make your points concisely. The information you used is ok, but the flow ideas is hard to follow. Grammar and technical stuff later. For now: format, organize, edit.
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Andreas_Hansen
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 9:22 am 
 

Okay. I re-organized my review, following your demands. I made more paragraphs, but I had a hard time in reading "but the flow ideas is hard to follow". Maybe it was due to a bad organization of my ideas (talking about severals in one paragraph). Also, I tried to avoid rambling in deleting some parts. So here is the review, after edition.

Spoiler: show
Tankard is like the uncle that we might all have: we like him, we know him for a long time, but we don't take him too seriously because he's a drunkard. Tankard is not far for being like him: they were here for thirty-five years and they always provided a solid and effective thrash metal with super-dynamic riffs with the shrill voice of Gerre. That's why they are today included in a Big 4 similar to the American one. But on the other hand, when we take a look at the most recurrent lyrics themes, then as our uncle, we don't take them seriously. For thirty-five years, this band has mostly depicted fifty shades of beer back and forth, with twelve album titles out of seventeen linked to the sacred beverage.

Imagine now your drunk uncle turning back into sobriety and talking about the Syrian crisis, lame and mind-numbing content on social networks with solid and believable arguments in order to convey a message. Won't you be astonished? Well, this is exactly what we feel when listening to this umpteenth album from the Teutonic old-hands. These two examples are actually two of their songs and the arguments are noteworthy serious and tidy riffs.

This impression of seriousness is expressed all along the album with sometimes solemn and dark riffs ("Pay to Pray", "Syrian Nightmare", "Secret Order 1516"), and sometimes melodic and epic mid-tempo riffs ("Arena of the True Lies", "One Foot in the Grave", "Northern Crown"). In fact, this is the most impressive thing about this album. The band is still able to give us another good full-length up in spite of thirty-five years of thrash metal without a break. It is very impressive to see the German musicians producing such good melodies after sixteen albums. Inspiration remains and Andy Gutjahr doesn't have to find some weird, convoluted riffs which would make immediately less good songs.

We have this same impression again more generally in the drum set which has a very heavy and sustained sound. The best example here is the piece "Don't Bullshit Us!", where the drum set is played without a break.

Gerre's voice, like the riffs, is sometimes melodic ("Arena of the True Lies", "Don't Bullshit Us!", "The Evil That Men Display") but also sometimes plaintive or accusing; the song "Syrian Nightmare" illustrates it particularly well. Here, the band is somewhat innovating, talking in concrete terms about a theme that has been, until now, not really broached by other metal bands: the case of the Syrian civilians caught between a rock and a hard place. Gerre's singing remains undamaged in spite of the time. Even better, it seems that it is improving. It is diversifying, and it remains shrill without going into guttural tones like Sodom's frontman Tom Angelripper.

If I never used to love Tankard I have to admit that they struck hard with this new full-length. So yes, it is another album among so many others... but it remains very satisfactory and shows us that Tankard has more than one trick up their sleeve. It sounds like Tankard had realised that they really had a good time in making music during all these years. Like they became aware that time has gone by so quickly since <i>Zombie Attack</i>. All of that brings inner reflections and allows a more serious content. The main theme of this album showed the video clip of "One Foot in the Grave", is the incoming old age and it will be time to think about the retirement home. But the members of Tankard stay true to themselves and keep on doing irony in parodying themselves: the oldest members are only fifty... far from the dinosaurs of the most famous Hard Rock band!
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:34 pm 
 

Nice work. Much better.
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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: France
PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:41 pm 
 

Quote:
Grammar and technical stuff later. For now: format, organize, edit.

Are there any other big mistakes to fix now?
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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 741
PostPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:50 am 
 

Here's a couple of edits that I can try to show you, at least from my view because most of this review comes across fine enough, just needing some tweaks to keep the flow working well enough. Mind you, I have plenty of mistakes in my reviews, but it's always easier to look at something with fresh eyes.

"we know him for a long time" would be better as "we've known him for a long time", though as an "uncle" it could be rewritten in a way that you can show that this uncle has been a constant part of your life, clear enough to show that he's someone that you know is always the "drunken uncle" rather than the "longtime drunk" that just shows up to family events.

"included in a Big 4 similar to the American one." This one, I would put Big 4 in quotes, but just for the sake of posterity I would elaborate on how this band fills that role. I, personally, don't know Tankard and would like to know who the other three you consider in that role to be alongside just what contributions to their sound and style fill that role, I'm sure Kreator fits in easily. Granted, if you know a style well enough, it's self-explanatory, but when it comes to "Big 4" descriptions, like with the forum post this month in the Metal Discussion about 'the Big 4 of some random country's niche style', I had no idea about those bands.

I know these are nit-picky things. If it fell into a series, these things would be just fine and you probably wouldn't be asking for notes on the reviews, but these thoughts may help you get some more focus on this first paragraph. That being said, great reference to the popular book series and you rounded out that paragraph nicely.

What more can you say about the inspiration in the guitarist's riffing and leads? Maybe you can elaborate on that third paragraph to really tell your audience what special moments they can find in the album. Are there some interesting solos, moments that really get your heart pumping, is there a lead that rips your soul out for a demon to jizz on it?

What makes it impressive that there is no break in the drums in paragraph 4, how much of a caliber of a drummer, what kind of stamina is needed to really keep that momentum going?

Maybe you can weave in more of the Syrian situation into your next paragraph. What really stands out is what you've mentioned, but if you acknowledge the plight without describing the way the band approaches it, you could use a better elaboration than simply noticing it and moving on. If a line in the lyrics rings true to you, that could be worthy of some analysis and really get your piece hitting your views on a larger context than just an album from a thrash band.


You've been a fan of Tankard for a long time, you don't need to say " Like they became aware that time has gone by so quickly since <i>Zombie Attack</i>." Take out that like and you will seem more authoritative on the subject.

"The main theme of this album, showed the video clip of "One Foot in the Grave","

Add that comma after "album", it's little but it can help. Though I do go overboard with my commas XD

With the last line, no colon, no but. You're showing authority, knowledge about this band, show that you're not on the fence. If you like the band, then you do. If you don't, why give accolades like this?

You have a good review going that could use some elaboration in some places to really flesh out what makes this sound to you. Something that I've tried to do is, at the same time as I appreciate a band, I try to nail down what they're offering. Try to gussy up what Tankard has to offer, not only your reaction to it. That will show that you gave the album a fairer listen than simply reacted to what your heard. The moments that do strike you are worth elaborating on and the moments that you don't like are worth mentioning, but the main thing in a piece like this is that a well-established band is getting its due. Do unto that band what it gives to you. I think that you enjoy and appreciate the album, if so elaborate on what gets your neck moving and your throat screaming.

I know, plenty of reviews worship too much, I'm about to send one in that worships a bit too hard, but if you provide reason and context for all your claims and the values you see in this album, I'm sure this review will be all-the-richer for them.

Good review so far, I hope you can really tune it up and make it even stronger because that's what we all want to do here. We all want to be great writers. Good writers only write in school.

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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: France
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:15 pm 
 

Thank you Five_Nails for your detailed answer about my review.

Quote:
Good review so far, I hope you can really tune it up and make it even stronger because that's what we all want to do here. We all want to be great writers. Good writers only write in school.


You're right. I am not challenging everyone, I don't want to do any of these stupids things, I only want to write the best reviews I can do. I want to be the best reviewer I can be. That is also why I asked for your support. I know there is plenty of good reviewers on this website, and I wanted to have your feedbacks and advice. So thank you for your help.

Now time for the edit. I carefully read all of your advice and made the best to complete my review. Here is the full review. But in order to not waste time by reading already written things, I put the things I've edited or added in bold, according to your advice.

Spoiler: show
Tankard is like the uncle that we might all have: we like him, we've known him for a long time, but we don't take him too seriously because he's a drunkard. Tankard is not far for being like him: they were here for thirty-five years and they always provided a solid and effective thrash metal with super-dynamic riffs with the shrill voice of Gerre. That's why they are today included in a "Big 4" similar to the American one. Their music is less serious than the three other bands, Kreator, Destruction and Sodom. Their riffs are not very heavy and aggressive. When we take a look at the most recurrent lyrics themes, then as our uncle, we don't take them seriously. For thirty-five years, this band has mostly depicted fifty shades of beer back and forth, with twelve album titles out of seventeen linked to the sacred beverage. This kind of lyrics matches with the thrash metal they play. This is another reason why they gained success over the years.

Imagine now your drunk uncle turning back into sobriety and talking about the Syrian crisis, lame and mind-numbing content on social networks with solid and believable arguments in order to convey a message. Won't you be astonished? Well, this is exactly what we feel when listening to this umpteenth album from the Teutonic old-hands. These two examples are actually two of their songs and the arguments are noteworthy serious and tidy riffs.

This impression of seriousness is expressed all along the album with sometimes solemn and dark riffs ("Pay to Pray", "Syrian Nightmare", "Secret Order 1516"), and sometimes melodic and epic mid-tempo riffs ("Arena of the True Lies", "One Foot in the Grave", "Northern Crown"). In fact, this is the most impressive thing about this album. The band is still able to give us another good full-length up in spite of thirty-five years of thrash metal without a break. It is very impressive to see the German musicians producing such good melodies after sixteen albums. Inspiration remains and Andy Gutjahr doesn't have to find some weird, convoluted riffs which would make immediately less good songs. The intro of "Pay to Pray" is slow and give a solemn and dark tone to the song. It buries immediately the listener into the atmosphere of the album. The main riff confirms this impression because it is not very melodic. It is more serious than Tankard used to play. The piece "Secret Order 1516" has a symphonic introduction. It has a cheap sound but the melodies are quite good. The song is off to a good start, thanks to this introduction. The main riff of "Syrian Nightmare" is more melodic than the one of "Pay to Pray". It has a little solo which is played right before the first verse. In the verses like in the chorus, there are a lot of choirs that make this song quite impressive. The main riff of "One Foot in the Grave" is slow and solemn and it is played with many guitars. The notes are quite high, which is pretty unusual for a Tankard song. The main riff and the drum set are made of triplets, which give the impression of a sustained song without being speed. The solo, played with several guitars, is lovely but too short. My favourite song is "Arena of the True Lies". The song begins immediately with the chorus without any introduction. If I had to keep only one riff from this whole album it would be the verse riff. It is epic and fits in very well with the global atmosphere of the album. It is just a verse riff with the quality of the main riff. The solo of this song is split into two parts. In the first one, the melodies are slowly played in harmony. In the second one, they are faster and the rhythmic riff is the verse riff and gives an epic tone to the solo.

We have this same impression again more generally in the drum set which has a very heavy and sustained sound. The best example here is the piece "Don't Bullshit Us!", where the drum set is played without a break. The song has no intro and begins immediately with the main riff. This sustained sound is marked by the abusive use of the double-kick all along the song. The drum set is more independent than ever on the album because it doesn't match with the rhythmic guitars and do his own job: basically, double-kick with some transitions from time to time. We can easily imagine Olaf Zissel hammering his drums with energy during the recording sessions while listening to this song. The drum set isn't technical but it is enough to impose a high pace to the song.

Gerre's voice, like the riffs, is sometimes melodic ("Arena of the True Lies", "Don't Bullshit Us!", "The Evil That Men Display") but also sometimes plaintive or accusing; the song "Syrian Nightmare" illustrates it particularly well. Here, the band is somewhat innovating, talking in concrete terms about a theme that has been, until now, not really broached by other metal bands: the case of the Syrian civilians caught between a rock and a hard place. Tankard lends their support to all of the civilians that are leaving the war. I don't want to enter into political subjects, but to sum up, this war brings the highly controverted Syrian government of Bashar al-Assad and the rebels that are facing this government into conflict. ISIS take advantage of this perpetual chaos by committing attacks against the defenceless civilians and destroying the Syrian cultural and scientific heritage by bombing temples or burning books. Tankard's mentality is close to the civilians by carefully avoiding to take part in any of these camps, which for them is like water off a duck's back. No matter which side is the best or the worst, the only common thing that civilians and Tankard see in them are death and destruction. Tankard criticizes also the international community for his passivity in this conflict.

"Many fled the country - millions like I'm told
Now I am one of them
You can call me Ahmed, I am 10 years old
Will I live again?"


In this song, Gerre's singing remains undamaged in spite of the time. Even better, it seems that it is improving. It is diversifying, and it remains shrill without going into guttural tones like Sodom's frontman Tom Angelripper.

If I never used to love Tankard I have to admit that they struck hard with this new full-length. So yes, it is another album among so many others... but it remains very satisfactory and shows us that Tankard has more than one trick up their sleeve. It sounds like Tankard had realised that they really had a good time in making music during all these years. All of that brings inner reflections and allows a more serious content. The main theme of this album, showed the video clip of "One Foot in the Grave", is the incoming old age and it will be time to think about the retirement home. The members of Tankard stay true to themselves and keep on doing irony in parodying themselves. The oldest members are only fifty... far from the dinosaurs of the most famous Hard Rock band!


Hope it will be good.
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~Guest 135946
MUH BOTH SIDES!

Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:34 pm
Posts: 741
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:33 pm 
 

Wow. I think you've done a great job overall and really made that review something special. You showed a good and informative knowledge of just what makes this album stick with you.

A couple of small things need cleaning up.

In the sentence, "the most recurrent lyrics themes," 'lyrics' sounds better as 'lyrical'.

"The band is still able to give us another good full-length UP in spite of thirty-five years of thrash metal without a break." You can toss out that "up", maybe its an extra from some rewriting, I do it all the time before giving everything another read through and finding those second thought dingleberries.

"the abusive use of the double-kick all along the song", now you're really bringing home just how taxing and exhausting that song is. Good elaboration.

"ISIS take advantage of this perpetual chaos". ISIS is a single organization so it takes advantage. That's something I've been on the fence about when it comes to writing about bands but since a band is a single unit, it's best to describe it in the singular.

I love the fifty shades of beer line, that's a great bit of personality you put in there.

Give the review another read through, make sure it sounds just right to you, and I'd say go ahead and submit it. There were only a couple of tiny errors and bits of syntax that needed work in there but your rewrite really took the original template and made it a bang-up review. According to your MA profile, this looks like your first review. I'm sure that down the road after long tiring hours of writing, you should be able to look back and feel accomplished at this being your start.

Great job. You won't be cringing at your catalogue like I do sometimes :P

Keep up the good work and remember to keep headbanging or else it's no fun. \m/

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AddWittyUsername
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:40 pm
Posts: 225
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:44 pm 
 

Great improvement. :) Couple more grammar, language and style nags:

*Tankard is not far for being like him: they were here for thirty-five years and they always provided a solid and effective thrash metal with super-dynamic riffs with the shrill voice of Gerre.
Not far from; they've been ('they were' basically says, "well, they were here for 35 years but no longer are". If you change the latter, also change 'they always provided' to prevent tense conflicts (either 'and always provided' or 'and they've always provided' would work). Also, skip the 'a' in front of 'solid and effective thrash metal'.

*That's why they are today included in a "Big 4" similar to the American one.
'these days' or 'nowadays', "today" implies it's something that specifically occurs on this day, like some formal proclamation or coronation or such.

*This kind of lyrics matches with the thrash metal they play. This is another reason why they gained success over the years.
Skip the 'with'; bridge the two sentences ("[...] play, which is another reason"). Neither are necessarily wrong, but the sentence flows better that way. 'This kind of lyrics' is also slightly awkward, but I'm not entirely sure how to word it better. Perhaps "Such lyrics" or the likes? (If done, matches should become match)

*The intro of "Pay to Pray" is slow and give a solemn and dark tone to the song. It buries immediately the listener into the atmosphere of the album.
'intro' is singular, thus it should be 'gives' ;) The second sentence flows better if you swap 'buries' and 'immediately' around.

*The drum set isn't technical but it is enough to impose a high pace to the song.
Impose on, not impose to.

*Here, the band is somewhat innovating, talking in concrete terms about a theme that has been, until now, not really broached by other metal bands: [...]
'that has, until now, not really been broached' would read better.

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Cudnoredje
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat May 20, 2017 10:33 am
Posts: 50
PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:32 pm 
 

This review is rejected due to "Poor grammar. Needs to be proofread by a native English speaker."
I can't detect any crucial mistakes here, but someone who speaks English better will probably find them.
I will be grateful to those who'll help me to correct this review grammatically before resubmitting it.
Thank you in advance.

*******************************************************************************

Decrepit Birth "Axis Mundi"
Title: Decrepit Suffocation
Rating: 60%

Californian band Decrepit Birth has made its fourth album "Axis Mundi". The new album contains everything the band should have to intrigue the ear pins that pulsate to the eargasm when exposed to technical death metal. In the first place, it is about the fantastic interweaving of virtuoso drumming and guitar stocks into an unstoppable stream of harmonic and temporal variations. Besides, this album has no pretense to compete in the speed challenge trying to be faster for “revolutionary” 2 BPM’s than currently the fastest album in the genre, nor to force heartless punching of sweep pickings thinking that it shows an ultimate definition of badass guitar player. All techniques Decrepit Birth doses steadily, not causing the listener to think that all awesome playing is just for the sake of showing that they can play technically. They do not lack variable escapades on the instruments, but they are completely subordinated to the dark and magnificent ambience as well as the fluidity of each song individually.

Still there is something missing in the whole story. The axis is strong, but somewhere it has cracked. The album sounds respectable and powerful, but it’s not giving enough reasons to claim: "this cannot be done by anyone other than Decrepit Birth". In this regard, the previous two albums "Diminishing Between Worlds" (2008.) and "Polarity" (2010.), with their recognizable non-generic and imaginative author's seal are the masterpieces of technical death metal that apart from the great techs also brought a handful of shiny, almost epic melodies often influenced by neoclassic. "Axis Mundi" has reduced the melodic factor and increased brutality. They also reduced unpredictable beat breaks in favor of linearity, so that comparison with the recent Suffocation albums is not missed. Of course, qualification “Decrepit Suffocation” is not offensive to the band itself, but the very possibility of calling them so suggests that Decrepit Birth has been slightly devolved creatively. If this album emerged before two previous and after "... and Time Begins" (2003.), it would be considered as a turning point in the band’s evolution from brutal death into technical. But this is how the band is stricken by the curse that after two ingenious albums they could not surpass themselves. I did not even mentioned that the guttural vocals on the album are deeper, less succulent and more distant from the "front" comparing to previous two, with the lack of articulation and defiance. Thus, vocals can function as an ambiental addition to instrumental accompaniment, but do not have the power to carry the song.

An extra minus to album are three final songs, all covers of 90's and late 80's metal classics (Metallica "Orion", Sepultura "Desperate Cry", Suffocation "Infecting the Crypts") and they do not bring anything special comparing to originals. That’s pretty diluting solution for the album's ending and unnecessarily duration filling as if 9 songs last for 40 minutes are not enough.

In general, the album is far from disappointing, but after 7 years of discographical break we expected more. Especially since the gap between the previous two outstanding albums was only two years. If we have to wait another seven years for the next Decrepit Birth album, either we will get the best technical death album in the world, either sadly witness the epitaph of a complete creative staggering.

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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 175
PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 9:24 am 
 

BastardHead wrote:
Of course! Share it as many times as you like until you get it to a level you're satisfied with. That's exactly what this thread is for.

Trust me, we appreciate it when we get somebody like you who is actually receptive to the criticism. We're all here to help.


Sorry, it's been a while. Just wanted to again, thank both you and Grave_Wyrm for both of your honest criticism. It took me quite a long while (as you can see) to figure out how to make this review not 'personal' and to more reflect a review of the actual EP. And, a few days ago I was finally able to do that, and it did get accepted.


If either of you would like to read how it came out, since both of you were so wonderful as to help me, here is the link to the review. Again, I can't thank you guys enough for helping me, I mean that! :)


https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... er_X/58890
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Andreas_Hansen
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 316
Location: France
PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 11:08 am 
 

First of all sorry for the late reply, I wanted to come back after the approval of my review.
Thanks a lot to you, Grave_Wyrm, Five_Nails and AddWittyUsername for your very detailed answers. That helped me a lot, truly.

While my Tankard review was still pending, I wrote another one about the new Dragonforce album in following the general tips you gave to me. And the result is here: I submitted my review yesterday and it got approved! That's such a satisfaction. That's my first review at MA.

As for my Tankard review, it's still pending. I hope one day it will be approved as well!
EDIT: My review just got accepted, that's very nice.

---
Cudnoredje: As a non-English speaker, I can't give you a detailed correction about your review. However I can advise you to go to Grammarly, a free website that will fix the critical grammar issues and do the most of the job for you.
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Last edited by Andreas_Hansen on Sun Sep 03, 2017 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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