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Tengan
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 6:09 am
Posts: 80
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2015 2:44 pm 
 

Thanks a lot for your help. I did know that a band is a third person singular in that sense, bloody typo really, but the rest is really helpful. I usually write in Word set for British English but since stuff still slips through I might look into other options as well.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2015 5:13 pm 
 

mrdeadhead91 wrote:
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Don't neglect the differences in title formatting. The current lack of these is confusing, particularly for an unfamiliar reader.

Thank you a lot for your input. Would you care to explain more into detail your last sentence?

Sure thing. I meant that if a reader is unfamiliar with the band or album/s being discussed (as I am), a lack of formatting differentiation can make for a confusing read. Good formatting is an extension of clarity.

I like your footnotes, Erosion. Much tidier than cutting the thing apart and responding to each bit.
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2015 9:51 am 
 

Thanks! I finally got my computer back in workingish order so I should be able to use it now thus making things like that infinitely easier. I've been almost exclusively browsing the Google machine on my phone for months now.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2015 6:06 pm 
 

That sounds really painful.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 856
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:22 am 
 

Just finished a review of Blind Guardian - Beyond the Red Mirror. As usual, feedback is much appreciated. (I'm going to italicise band names when I submit it to the main site)

Spoiler: show
There’s plenty of grim stuff going on at the moment: Stories of school shootings and terrorist attacks dominate the news almost weekly, and no matter what your political leaning, somebody somewhere is doing something terribly wrong. Should they choose to, any musician would very easily be able to internally justify an entirely bleak and nihilistic outlook in their music, and even if they’re dealt with indirectly (or accidentally), political issues seem an inescapable aspect of pretty much everything. That’s why now is the perfect time for Blind Guardian to release another album full of songs about dragons and wizards.

Blind Guardian have often been called The Bards by their fans, but that nickname has rarely been meant in its oldest (And truest) sense; as comforters and entertainers during times of strife. Over their past few releases, Blind Guardian have seemed as if they were perfectly fit to be musical storytellers, but on Beyond the Red Mirror they finally accept falling into that role. Previously, the band have been as an enthusiastic adventurer: fighting every challenge thrown at them in an attempt to prove something, but here they are closer to a veteran soldier: contentedly recounting tales of their past conquests – satisfied with their victories but ready to begin to merely orate rather than create.

In fact, with all the epic lyrics, over the top bombast, multitracked Hansis, and choral sections present on Beyond the Red Mirror, the music itself sometimes even plays second fiddle to the stories being told. In Blind Guardian’s previous work, the lyrical imagery and the music worked hand in hand, but here it often seems like the music only exists insofar as it is a method of conveyance for the tales that Hansi wants to tell. Luckily, this narrative approach to songwriting largely works well.—despite the fact that ‘At the Edge of Time’ doesn’t really have many distinctive riffs, the theatrical bombast of it all still makes for a strikingly powerful piece of music. Likewise for nine-minute opener ‘The Ninth Wave,’ and nine-minute closer ‘The Grand Parade.’

Make no mistake though, in spite of all its theatrical and narrative leanings, Beyond the Red Mirror is still squarely metal. Blind Guardian may never record another album as hard-hitting as Imaginations from the Other Side, but that doesn’t mean that they’ve forgotten know how to write a guitar solo that flies through the air or a riff that kicks your teeth in. A couple of tracks (Prophecies and Twilight of the Gods) even feel savage enough that they could have very easily been featured on the band’s earlier speed metal releases, and late-album highlight Sacred Mind manages to sound riffy as hell without losing any of the bombast and theatrics of the rest of the album. It’s also one of the most sinister tracks in their discography. Blind Guardian have been around for almost 30 years, and they certainly know their craft, but they’re also refreshingly willing to vary on it and perfect it.

Beyond the Red Mirror won’t blow your mind or change your life. But it doesn’t need to, because it succeeds triumphantly in another equally noble aim: Blind Guardian’s latest album takes an hour of your life and fills it with joyous stories. Beyond the Red Mirror is far from perfect, and it’s very easy to be completely disinterested in it; to stick your nose up at the inherent dorkiness of it all. But it’s also very easy to simply get lost in the stories being told – and when the stories being told are this breathtaking, that seems like a pretty easy choice to make.
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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:41 am 
 

Some thoughts in bullet point since it's late here and I'm tired:
-The first paragraph is unnecessary, it's an introduction unrelated to the subject at hand and for a fairly short review, I don't think it works.
-Your second paragraph seems completely erroneous... "Blind Guardian have seemed as if they were perfectly fit to be musical storytellers, but on Beyond the Red Mirror they finally accept falling into that role. "... I mean, have you heard Nightfall In Middle-Earth (a release older than yourself haha!) and A Night at the Opera? These two releases defined storytelling in metal in my opinion. "And Then There Was Silence" is one of the best epic songs ever and it's about The Illiad.
-There's just not enough musical description, I don't think I'd approve the review if it was in the queue.
-You're a good writer and working on your craft will definitely pay off!
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 8:51 am 
 

Metantoine wrote:
Some thoughts in bullet point since it's late here and I'm tired:

Thanks very much. I really appreciate the advice.

Quote:
-The first paragraph is unnecessary, it's an introduction unrelated to the subject at hand and for a fairly short review, I don't think it works.

I often don't really know how to start things that I'm writing, and reviews are no exception. I now realise that was a pretty stupid introduction, and I'll replace it with something more related to the music.

Quote:
-Your second paragraph seems completely erroneous... "Blind Guardian have seemed as if they were perfectly fit to be musical storytellers, but on Beyond the Red Mirror they finally accept falling into that role. "... I mean, have you heard Nightfall In Middle-Earth (a release older than yourself haha!) and A Night at the Opera? These two releases defined storytelling in metal in my opinion. "And Then There Was Silence" is one of the best epic songs ever and it's about The Illiad.

Yeah, I've heard NIME and ANATO but as I said, I think that Beyond the Red Mirror is on a different level in terms of narrative being the primary focus of the music than those two releases. Something like Mirror Mirror is a lot more focused on the music (Both in terms of how loud the vocals are in the mix and how much the story and theatrics contributes to it as a musical entity) than, say, At the Edge of Time (the song). On previous releases, while storytelling and musical theatrics certainly played a large part in the music, it still worked as a part of the music rather than as the primary focus, where as for most of Beyond the Red Mirror it really feels to me as if the main aim of most of the songs song is conveyance of a tangible narrative.

Quote:
-There's just not enough musical description, I don't think I'd approve the review if it was in the queue.

Yeah, I'll certainly put more analysis and description in.

Quote:
-You're a good writer and working on your craft will definitely pay off!

Thank you very much! :)

I'm gonna fix all that stuff up, then resubmit an edited piece to this thread. (It might take me a while though because I'm going on holiday tomorrow)
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 3:53 pm 
 

Also, quick note, there's no sitewide hardline rule about this, but the general etiquette in terms of formatting are "Song Titles" in quotes, Album Titles in italics, and Band Names left alone. We have some regulars who highlight band names in some way but I've always personally thought it looked tacky and stupid. Not something we'll reject over, but it'll make me happy, and really that should be everybody's goal :p
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 10:47 pm 
 

CardsofWar (Re: BG) --

Spoiler: show
CardsOfWar wrote:
I often don't really know how to start things that I'm writing, and reviews are no exception. I now realise that was a pretty stupid introduction, and I'll replace it with something more related to the music.

It can just be deleted. The second paragraph is basically where it begins anyway.


CardsOfWar wrote:
Yeah, I've heard NIME and ANATO but as I said, I think that Beyond the Red Mirror is on a different level in terms of narrative being the primary focus of the music than those two releases. Something like Mirror Mirror is a lot more focused on the music (Both in terms of how loud the vocals are in the mix and how much the story and theatrics contributes to it as a musical entity) than, say, At the Edge of Time (the song). On previous releases, while storytelling and musical theatrics certainly played a large part in the music, it still worked as a part of the music rather than as the primary focus, where as for most of Beyond the Red Mirror it really feels to me as if the main aim of most of the songs song is conveyance of a tangible narrative.

This is an almost obscure opinion that should be explained more carefully in the review. It's not something easily agreed with, or easily understood, so help us out. You say a lot more to unpack the point of view here it in the responses than you do in the review. Moreover, it's almost as if you're saying here that music has taken a back seat to narrative. I'd like to see the argument made clearly.

Also, don't reduce musical description to anything approaching "BG .. you know how they do." Do your best to not be vague. This means not leaving so many blanks for your readers to fill in on their own. Precision and, as Zodi was saying in the "Reviews - Worth it?" thread, critique are vital.

Remember: ethos, pathos, logos.


Metaintoine wrote:
-You're a good writer and working on your craft will definitely pay off!

I agree. You're off to a good start for sure, Cards. I'm going to keep on you about getting cuter than you need to with punctuation. Also, your sentances tend to get really long. Stick to making coherent points first. Work on the packaging later.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 856
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 7:13 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
CardsofWar (Re: BG) --

Spoiler: show
CardsOfWar wrote:
I often don't really know how to start things that I'm writing, and reviews are no exception. I now realise that was a pretty stupid introduction, and I'll replace it with something more related to the music.

It can just be deleted. The second paragraph is basically where it begins anyway.


CardsOfWar wrote:
Yeah, I've heard NIME and ANATO but as I said, I think that Beyond the Red Mirror is on a different level in terms of narrative being the primary focus of the music than those two releases. Something like Mirror Mirror is a lot more focused on the music (Both in terms of how loud the vocals are in the mix and how much the story and theatrics contributes to it as a musical entity) than, say, At the Edge of Time (the song). On previous releases, while storytelling and musical theatrics certainly played a large part in the music, it still worked as a part of the music rather than as the primary focus, where as for most of Beyond the Red Mirror it really feels to me as if the main aim of most of the songs song is conveyance of a tangible narrative.

This is an almost obscure opinion that should be explained more carefully in the review. It's not something easily agreed with, or easily understood, so help us out. You say a lot more to unpack the point of view here it in the responses than you do in the review. Moreover, it's almost as if you're saying here that music has taken a back seat to narrative. I'd like to see the argument made clearly.

Also, don't reduce musical description to anything approaching "BG .. you know how they do." Do your best to not be vague. This means not leaving so many blanks for your readers to fill in on their own. Precision and, as Zodi was saying in the "Reviews - Worth it?" thread, critique are vital.

Remember: ethos, pathos, logos.


Metaintoine wrote:
-You're a good writer and working on your craft will definitely pay off!

I agree. You're off to a good start for sure, Cards. I'm going to keep on you about getting cuter than you need to with punctuation. Also, your sentances tend to get really long. Stick to making coherent points first. Work on the packaging later.


Thanks a lot for the advice man. I'll certainly elaborate on my arguments in the second paragraph, as well as deleting the first and attempting to fix up my punctuation throughout.

Re BH: Understood. I'll make sure to do that with all my writings on this site. :)
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 7:00 pm 
 

No problem, dude. Keep it up.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:50 pm 
 

I fixed up my Beyond the Red Mirror review.

Spoiler: show
Blind Guardian have often been called The Bards by their fans, but that nickname has rarely been meant in its oldest (And truest) sense; as comforters and entertainers during times of strife. Over their past few releases, Blind Guardian have been consistently eager to tell stories, but here they finally come to complete control of the style. Where their last four albums were explorations of new ideas, Beyond the Red Mirror is a comprehensive display of force – Blind Guardian seeing just how far they can push the musical tropes they created, and have come to master. Previously, the band have been as an enthusiastic adventurer: fighting every challenge thrown at them in an attempt to prove something, but here they are closer to a veteran soldier: contentedly recounting tales of their past conquests – satisfied with their victories but ready to begin to merely orate rather than create.

In fact, with all the epic lyrics, over the top bombast, multitracked Hansis, and choral sections present on Beyond the Red Mirror, the music itself sometimes even plays second fiddle to the stories being told. In Blind Guardian’s previous work, the lyrical imagery and the music worked in tandem, both coming together to form one cohesive narrative, but here it often seems like the music only exists insofar as it is a method of conveyance for and illumination of the tales that Hansi wants to tell. Luckily, this approach to songwriting largely works well—despite the fact that “At the Edge of Time” doesn’t really have many distinctive riffs, the theatrical bombast of it all still makes for a strikingly powerful piece. Likewise for nine-minute opener "The Ninth Wave," and nine-minute closer "The Grand Parade."

Make no mistake though, in spite of all its theatrical and narrative leanings, Beyond the Red Mirror is still squarely metal. Blind Guardian may never record another album as hard-hitting as Imaginations from the Other Side, but that doesn’t mean that they’ve forgotten know how to write a guitar solo that flies through the air or a riff that kicks your teeth in. A couple of tracks (Prophecies and Twilight of the Gods) even feel savage enough that they could have very easily been featured on the band’s earlier speed metal releases, and late-album highlight Sacred Mind manages to sound riffy as hell without losing any of the bombast and theatrics of the rest of the album. It’s also one of the most sinister tracks in their discography, and a resounding proof that despite their nearly 30 year life as a band, they are still able to perfect and tweak their craft.

Previous Blind Guardian releases have included a largely acoustic folk song. These songs served a dual purpose, both providing the listener with a rest from the bombastic assault Blind Guardian invariably build up, (without sacrificing any of its momentum) and giving the band a chance to experiment and enjoy an entirely different style of music. Sadly, there is not one of these tracks present on Beyond the Red Mirror; instead we are given insipid piano ballad “Miracle Machine,” a song which vaguely meanders for three minutes before dropping off into nowhere. It’s an utter waste of time, contains some of Hansi’s worst and most cumbersome lyrics, (“We must believe in something/ that I would call a miracle.”) and the only track on the album that I could see being ‘skipped’ by anyone.

Beyond the Red Mirror won’t blow your mind or change your life. But it doesn’t need to, because it succeeds triumphantly in another equally noble aim: Blind Guardian’s latest album takes an hour of your life and fills it with joyous stories. Beyond the Red Mirror is far from perfect, and it’s very easy to be completely disinterested in it; to stick your nose up at the inherent dorkiness of it all. But it’s also very easy to simply get lost in the stories being told – and when the stories being told are this breathtaking, that seems like a pretty easy choice to make.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 10:08 pm 
 

I feel like you make a lot of rookie generalizations here...too much talk about whether something is metal or not, or how much of it is metal. Why does it need to be said that some songs contain no "distinctive riffs" if you still like them and you realize they're good for other reasons? Bit of a nitpick, but I also never like seeing things like "this album won't change your life" - well, if that's the case, how many would? Bit of an odd thing to say when you likely wouldn't have expected it to anyway.

But your writing is pretty good. Maybe use less adjectives, but I think you're getting there for sure. Not a mod but it looks generally acceptable for the site to me...better than some garbage I read on here.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 6:50 pm 
 

It's an improvement, that's for sure.

Empyreal wrote:
Maybe use less adjectives

Like "bombast."

Also, CardsOfWar, the sentences are still pretty long (for my taste, anyhow). The flow loses focus. Long sentences can quickly become difficult to follow if the author is trying to make a couple different points at the same time. Make one point at a time. Try reading it aloud. It's surprisingly helpful.

I'm still not following your main argument, either. Don't pontificate -- describe and elaborate.

At this point it doesn't look like you're working from an outline. I think it's a pretty confusing read, honestly, even though your writing skills themselves aren't bad.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:13 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
I feel like you make a lot of rookie generalizations here...too much talk about whether something is metal or not, or how much of it is metal. Why does it need to be said that some songs contain no "distinctive riffs" if you still like them and you realize they're good for other reasons? Bit of a nitpick, but I also never like seeing things like "this album won't change your life" - well, if that's the case, how many would? Bit of an odd thing to say when you likely wouldn't have expected it to anyway.

But your writing is pretty good. Maybe use less adjectives, but I think you're getting there for sure. Not a mod but it looks generally acceptable for the site to me...better than some garbage I read on here.


Thanks very much for the feedback. I said the thing about the songs having no distinctive riffs because I think it's worth mentioning that they manage to be good in spite of that.

Grave_Wyrm: I'll cut down my sentences and try to make all of my points more concise and direct. Thanks a lot for bearing with my shitty writing and offering really helpful feedback at each step of the process. :)
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:00 am 
 

Ughh there's a myriad of words making my brain hurt. CoW you write well but well this review is not. I agree with Mr. Wyrm in that there's too much happening in your sentences and also the review feels jumbled to me. My other major issue with it is that it gives off this feel that the band isn't fucking BLIND GUARDIAN. Y'know what I mean.....? Like it feels like you're writting a review for a band that has struggled and has a ton of shit in their back catalog but again, Blind Guardian. 90% of the people who will see the review already know who and what the band is and at least have a working knowledge of the band's sound.
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:45 am 
 

With all due respect to Mr. Humanity, I think it's a mistake to write with an overestimated sense that the audience knows what you mean, no matter how popular the band is. If a reader is familiar with a band being reviewed, so much the better. The reader's experience will flesh out the points made. The points themselves, however, need to be essentially clear to a reader who's unfamiliar, without being redundant hand holding. Give your audience some credit, sure, but don't neglect the people who haven't heard much/any of the band reviewed.

Cards, if you haven't already, have a look at some of TheStormIRide's reviews for a peek at good examples of terse, substantial summary.

And you're more than welcome. I enjoy the process, and I appreciate your willingness to improve.
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Diamhea
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 7:44 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
With all due respect to Mr. Humanity, I think it's a mistake to write with an overestimated sense that the audience knows what you mean, no matter how popular the band is.


Yes, very good point.

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Cards, if you haven't already, have a look at some of TheStormIRide's reviews for a peek at good examples of terse, substantial summary.


Yes, very underrated reviewer that nobody ever mentions. Shame... he is very reliable for coherent and solid description without whoring for cheap and easy attention.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:58 am 
 

Erosion of Humanity wrote:
Ughh there's a myriad of words making my brain hurt. CoW you write well but well this review is not. I agree with Mr. Wyrm in that there's too much happening in your sentences and also the review feels jumbled to me. My other major issue with it is that it gives off this feel that the band isn't fucking BLIND GUARDIAN. Y'know what I mean.....? Like it feels like you're writting a review for a band that has struggled and has a ton of shit in their back catalog but again, Blind Guardian. 90% of the people who will see the review already know who and what the band is and at least have a working knowledge of the band's sound.


Thank you very much for the advice. All the thanks I gave to Grave_Wyrm goes the same for you. (And everyone else who has given me feedback in this thread) Even in the short time I've been writing on Metal Archives and posting in this thread I've felt my writing (Both of reviews and of D&D modules) get so much better. Seriously, you guys are great. :bow:

Re TheStormIRide reviews: I mean no offense when I say this, (He's clearly a far better writer than I) but that style of review doesn't particularly appeal to me. In my opinion, music reviews should always be subjective, emotionally-driven, somewhat abstract/intangible, and somewhat vague. After all, music is an inherently subjective, emotionally-driven, somewhat abstract/intangible, and somewhat vague medium. I'm never going to want my music reviews to be mere objective, analytical descriptions of the sounds present in the music and a brief sentence on who might enjoy it. To me, that appears as essentially just a particularly verbose recommendation. I suppose a good point of reference for my aims as a writer about music would be the content of some of the better Pitchfork reviews. They come to satisfying and knowledgable conclusions about the music, manage to be a compelling and entertaining read, offer interesting descriptions of how the music sounds, and offer interesting, naturally interspersed trivia about the not directly music related aspects of the music.

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/575 ... r-the-sea/
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/13196-hospice/
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/158 ... l-lineage/
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/190 ... f-virtues/
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/922 ... e-the-sky/


The above links are a few examples off the top of my head of the sort of thing I'm talking about.

As for my Blind Guardian review, I've made a few more edits. I can't really think of any other ways to cover the album/ways to make the review better, so I guess this is my final draft of the review. If it seems good enough to be worth submitting to the main site then I will, otherwise I'll just leave this review behind and move onto other albums.

Spoiler: show
Blind Guardian have often been called The Bards by their fans, but that nickname has rarely been meant in its oldest (And truest) sense; as comforters and entertainers during times of strife. Over their past few releases, Blind Guardian have been consistently eager to tell stories, but here they finally come to complete control of the style. Where their last four albums were explorations of new ideas, Beyond the Red Mirror is a comprehensive display of force – Blind Guardian seeing just how far they can push the musical tropes they created. Previously, the band have been as an enthusiastic adventurer: desperately, excitedly exploring new ground in an attempt to prove something, but here they are closer to a veteran soldier: contentedly recounting tales of their past conquests – satisfied with their victories but ready to begin to merely tell stories rather than create them.

In fact, with all the epic lyrics, multitracked Hansis, and choral sections present on Beyond the Red Mirror, the stories being told often seem to take thematic precedence over the music itself. In Blind Guardian’s previous work, the lyrical imagery and the music worked in tandem, both coming together to form one cohesive entity, but here it often seems like the music only exists insofar as it is an illumination of the tales that Hansi tells. Luckily, this approach to songwriting largely works well —despite the fact that “At the Edge of Time” doesn’t really have many distinctive riffs, the theatrical bombast of it all still makes for a strikingly powerful piece. Likewise for nine-minute opener ‘The Ninth Wave,’ and nine-minute closer ‘The Grand Parade.’ Beyond the Red Mirror is (with a few exceptions) packed with almost entirely narratively-driven songs, an aspect which would be crippling for most any other band. Blind Guardian’s mastery of their craft – and Hansi Kursch’s astounding vocals – turn it into yet another triumph.
Make no mistake though, in spite of all its theatrical and narrative leanings, Beyond the Red Mirror is still squarely a hard-hitting album. Blind Guardian may never record another album as savage as Imaginations from the Other Side, but that doesn’t mean that they’ve forgotten know how to write a guitar solo that flies through the air or a riff that kicks your teeth in. Heavy moments are interspersed through the theatrical songs, (the titanic guitar solo in The Ninth Wave, the thrashy introduction to Ashes of Eternity) and a couple of tracks (Prophecies and Twilight of the Gods) even feel savage enough that they could have very easily been featured on the band’s earlier speed metal releases. Late-album highlight Sacred Mind manages to sound riffy as hell without losing any of the bombast and theatrics of the rest of the album. It’s also one of the most sinister tracks in Blind Guardian’s discography, and packs a damn catchy chorus to boot – a resounding proof that despite their nearly 30 year life as a band, they are still able to perfect and hone their craft.

Previous Blind Guardian releases have included a largely acoustic folk song. These songs served a dual purpose, both providing the listener with a rest from the bombastic assault Blind Guardian invariably build up, (without sacrificing any of its momentum) and giving the band a chance to experiment and enjoy an entirely different style of music. Sadly, there is not one of these tracks present on Beyond the Red Mirror; instead we are given insipid piano ballad “Miracle Machine,” a song which vaguely meanders for three minutes before dropping off into nowhere. It’s an utter waste of time, contains some of Hansi’s worst and most cumbersome lyrics, (“We must believe in something/ that I would call a miracle.”) and the only track on the album that really seems a candidate for being skipped by anybody.
Beyond the Red Mirror won’t blow your mind or change your life. But it doesn’t need to, because it succeeds in another equally noble aim: Blind Guardian’s latest album takes an hour of your life and fills it with joyous stories. Beyond the Red Mirror is far from perfect, and it’s very easy to be completely disinterested in it; to stick your nose up at the inherent dorkiness of it all. But it’s also very easy to simply get lost in the stories being told – and when the stories being told are this breathtaking, that seems like a pretty easy choice to make.


EDIT: I forgot to put the actual review itself into the post
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 3:52 pm 
 

CardsOfWar wrote:
Re TheStormIRide reviews: I mean no offense when I say this, (He's clearly a far better writer than I) but that style of review doesn't particularly appeal to me.

I recommended his reviews not as a model for what I wish yours were, but as a basically ideal example of how to communicate a substantial amount of what to expect from an album without the sprawling word swamp of some reviewers. The man gets to the point with precision and efficiency. His context and musical description are distilled. He's a very good example of the value in economy of language. Moreover, his reviews are worth the time to read them.

By all means, do what comes naturally. My point is that you can do it in a way that's personally satisfying to you, but in fewer words for readers. Have respect for the reader's time. The longer a review is, the better it had better be (i.e., the less masturbatory, aka: spergish, self-knobbing mansplaining) or else I'm going to spend my eyeball hours elsewhere. I'm not the only one, either.
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david666infierno
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:16 am
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 2:35 pm 
 

Hey guys! While ago i made this review. I received this advice: The contents of your review are acceptable, but it is poorly formatted and difficult or annoying to read. I'd appreciate some feedback from experienced review writers as to what I should work on.

One quick look at the Art work will give you an idea of what you are about to hear when you play this record. Yes, is still doom, yes, is still metal and yes, it´s a great record. If you are a fan of doom like me you will find this very interesting.

When I first bought the CD, I was very pleased. Especially with the first track called Restless oblivion. Holy cow! The guitars are heavy and deep so they fit well with the desperate tone of the singer´s voice. Maybe some Anathema fans will argue about this but I find this record as my favorite and the best of their music. The guitars are heavily downturned. I think they are in B or something. Intrumentation, goes well with the lyrics because it creates a sensation like falling into the abyss of hopeless depression. The distortion is thick but you can actually appreciate it at his full in every riff.

You will find acoustic moments too, so be prepared to be hypnotized by their softness (example: Alone). The production work in here is good, so you can hear the bass. During all the record the bass sound is perfectly audible and I constantly get the impression that the bass is distorted. Judge this for yourself.

Attention to the old fashioned metalheads: you will hear keyboards. I find myself as a non keyboard supporter in metal but I kind of liked the way they used them here. The vocals are full of desperation, and when I say desperation I mean it. You can actually perceive the sadness and the anger that the singer displays here and there in every song. The Nocturnal emission song has some weird ¿breathing noises? That I find disturbing and funny but they fit well too. The lyric content is probably what we will expect from a record such as this one

Just check the lyrics in Shroud of Frost:

Transfixed... I gaze through my window at a world lying under a shroud of frost.
In a forlorn stupor I feel the burning of staring eyes, yet no one is here.
Detached from reality, in the Knowing of dreams, we know the entity of ensuing agony waits to clasp us in its cold breast, in an empty room.
We awake and it's true. I dreamt of the sun's demise, awoke to a bleak morning.
In the emptiness I behled fate for the dead light is a foretelling of what will be...

The drums are well mixed here. You can hear every part of the gear being used cleverly. It´s important to point out that sometimes the drummer has a weird way to keep the rhythm. One example of this is the beginning of the restless oblivion song. My general opinion on this record is that the work done in the music goes well with the lyrics. Besides, It´s an Anathema record, so what are you waiting for? Get it.

Highlights:
Restless Oblivion, Shroud of Frost, ...Alone, Nocturnal Emission, A Dying Wish

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2015 3:25 pm 
 

:ugh: this is what I call a 'check list' review. It is quite painful to read because it reads like you went along checking off all the boxes as you were writting it. Aside from that, which is your biggest flaw, I would loose/rewrite your first paragraph as it's only two sentences anyways. It's odd and quite frankly makes me not want to keep reading but perserve I did. Another thing I'll mention is that you need a spelling and grammar check run on the review.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 2:21 am 
 

david666infierno: My comments are ones we can expect from a review such as this one.

Sadly, I have no idea what album you're reviewing. Regardless of what album it is, I generally agree with Mr. Humanity. Particularly about the first paragraph. However, I don't find the review painful, just uninformative. I recommend a complete do-over.

It's clear you're putting in an effort, but it's not translating well. Before you post them here in English, write your drafts in whatever is your first language and then translate them or have them translated for you. You'll be able to express yourself better (hopefully) and more freely. This way you can more easily apply some of the following suggestions:

Keep the musical description (the fact that there are keyboards, the production elements, the elusive audible bass sighting) and your general opinions, but don't just stop there.
What other bands do you think of when you listen to this album? Why?
What does the band seem to be doing with this album vs. their other ones?
Where are we in the band's discography?
Are there any side-projects we should check out? Do those relate at all to this album?
Assume that a lot of people haven't heard the album you're reviewing. Tell us a little bit more about what they do well and what to expect.
If you refer me to a song without telling me something about it, I'm at a total loss and can't follow what you mean.
Clarify the vague things ("Keyboards" could mean anything), and narrow down the general things ("Doom" can mean a lot of different things).

The formatting is a major problem. Some of the paragraph breaks are fine, others don't exist where they should. This needs to be consistently correct. I'm sure you remember how to do this from your basic writing composition classes. Remember the maxim: topic sentence, paragraph, repeat.
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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:41 am 
 

I'm fairly certain the band is Anathema, at least, Mr. Wyrm.
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CardsOfWar
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:33 am
Posts: 856
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 11:06 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
CardsOfWar wrote:
Re TheStormIRide reviews: I mean no offense when I say this, (He's clearly a far better writer than I) but that style of review doesn't particularly appeal to me.

I recommended his reviews not as a model for what I wish yours were, but as a basically ideal example of how to communicate a substantial amount of what to expect from an album without the sprawling word swamp of some reviewers. The man gets to the point with precision and efficiency. His context and musical description are distilled. He's a very good example of the value in economy of language. Moreover, his reviews are worth the time to read them.

By all means, do what comes naturally. My point is that you can do it in a way that's personally satisfying to you, but in fewer words for readers. Have respect for the reader's time. The longer a review is, the better it had better be (i.e., the less masturbatory, aka: spergish, self-knobbing mansplaining) or else I'm going to spend my eyeball hours elsewhere. I'm not the only one, either.


Understood. I'm going to give this thread a rest for a while, (keep on writing, but not submitting to the site) given that almost the last whole page has been me posting my work. Once again, thanks very much to everyone who's given me feedback and advice. (Particularly Grave_Wyrm and EoH)
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2015 2:03 pm 
 

See ya soon! And if you're worried about an ongoing conversation causing clutter, pop the post in a spoiler. Cheers.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
Posts: 8300
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:02 am 
 

So, I've decided to get into the reviewing game for good, and have already submitted a couple during the last few days. Just finished another one for Wardrum's third album (Necroticism, if you're reading, then you got me; it's pretty good after all), and thought that I could ask you guys for feedback before sending it, just in case. Here it is:

Spoiler: show
Formulaic, but effective - 82%

Aaaah, Greece! The land that gave us the Odyssey, moussaka, and Rotting Christ. Not a bad track record, if you ask me, and Wardrum's last album as of now does nothing whatsoever to dispel the notion that the land of Olympus rules. A strong, if somewhat bloated piece of work, dominated by lots of enthusiasm and a killer vocalist, Messenger is a fun ride, sure to please anyone with a taste for simple, yet well crafted metal.

The music itself belongs to that reliable, crunchy branch of power metal where you'll find the likes of Tad Morose and Angel Dust. Pretty accesible stuff with a thing for big melodic hooks and catchy choruses, yet still retaining a lot of bite and swagger. The sound is crystal clear, but far from overproduced and nicely thick, accentuating the chugging guitars and shrieking vocals the most, to a positive effect. The songwriting itself is very consistent, most songs staying around the 4-5 minutes mark, and sticking either to a constant mid-tempo or a hastier, pseudo speed metal pace. Particular highlights include the titletrack, with its aggressive, USPM-styled riffing and blistering solo, Lady Jane Grey, which is on the poppier, more melodic side of things, and both Travel Far Away and Vengeance, which are tied for the best chorus in the record.

In fact, the choruses are easily this record's main strength, in no small part thanks to Yannis Papadopoulos' fantastic performance. This guy was pretty much born to sing heavy metal; with a clear, sharp tenor, a terrific range, and incredible ear for melody, he sounds like the second coming of Midnight. He's perfectly capable of keeping it subtle, of course, but he's at his best when he just belts it all out and soars like an eagle. In fact, he's a bit TOO good, in the sense that he eclipses the rest of the band. Oh, sure, they're all very competent musicians, and Kosta Vreto gets a moment to shine in the guitar department here and there, but overall, while they all work well as a unit, Yannis ends up being by far the best thing on display here. This brings me to the second problem Messenger has, which is its runtime and consistency. Now, complaining about a record being too consistent might sound crazy (kinda like saying a singer's too good, eh?), but Messenger isn't varied or well written enough to justify its hour long runtime. This isn't to say that any of the songs are bad per se, but that an album that pretty much sticks to a single way of doing things for its entire duration would benefit from trimming down all of the fat, as by the ninth or tenth song, everything starts to blend together.

Don't let these flaws deter you though, as they're relatively minor and shouldn't bother an enthusiast of the style too much. Messenger is a very competently played and written album, and pretty much any fan of modern power metal is likely to find something that appeals to them here. In fact, it has left me eager to check out Wardrum's other two full lengths, which is nothing but a good sign. Go Greece!


So, what do ya think?

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Erosion of Humanity
Destroyer of the Gods

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:30 pm 
 

I think you did just fine.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:14 pm 
 

I agree. It's a bit sales-floor for me, but that's just a style thing. Your enthusiasm is plain and clearly stated, so don't take that note too seriously. Just take another look over it and add the proper album/song title formatting stuff.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:28 pm 
 

Oi, thank you, guys. I get the sales-floor thing, as my goal as a reviewer isn't to analyze shit in depth or entertain (I can't make a joke to save my life), but to properly convey whether or not the album is worth your time, so I try to keep it short and to the point.

But hey, Wyrm, what do you mean exactly by "proper album/song title formatting"?

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:37 pm 
 

Putting quotation marks around the song titles and italicizing album titles. I think the review's fine, very workmanlike and gets the point across. I'd take out the "Ahhhh Greece" opening part though...that's always a bit contrived.
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theunrelentingattack
Not yet ready for a custom title

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:18 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:43 pm 
 

I like that review. Well stated points. Very descriptive without being way too long. I read that and I know what the album sounds like. Personally, I think it's solid, coxntent wise
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:45 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Putting quotation marks around the song titles and italicizing album titles. I think the review's fine, very workmanlike and gets the point across. I'd take out the "Ahhhh Greece" opening part though...that's always a bit contrived.

Oh, I forgot about that. Was impatient and submitted it already too :lol: No matter, I'll edit it later. And yeah, the intro might sound a bit forced, you're right about that.

Again, thanks for the kind comments, guys.

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:47 pm 
 

Approved! I'm pretty happy that you're reviewing now, xlxlx, we needed some good young writers! Concise and well written!
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:50 pm 
 

I liked it. One thing to watch out for that I cringe at when looking back at my own reviews - sentences that do this:

[statement 1], but [statement 2]

When writing a review you're conveying your thoughts and are relaying points that, together, build into your overall opinion. In doing so, you'll naturally make a point and then another one for whatever reason. If you were to have just a statement for each sentence that'd be bland as hell since it'd make for elementary grammar book styled sentences.

You have things to say and know how to make it come across clearly. Just watch out for that overuse of making a point and then making another one with repeat use of words, structure, or creating a sentence longer than it needs to be. That "but" thing is something I see ALL OVER reviews I wrote and it makes me cringe so badly.

Xl, take over after I left and do better than I did.
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:16 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:02 pm 
 

@Tony: thank you, man! :-D I'm glad to be able to contribute to the site, and you'll definitely be seeing more of my stuff in the future if I can help it. Gonna try mostly to tackle shit with little to no reviews, too. Trying to fill a niche, if you will.

@Ozzy: I appreciate the advice. What you mention is something I fall a bit too much on whenever I have to write opinion essays, and it creeps a bit into my reviews, it seems. I'll try to correct it, and carry your flag with pride :beer:

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Metantoine
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:10 pm 
 

Xlxlx wrote:
Gonna try mostly to tackle shit with little to no reviews, too. Trying to fill a niche, if you will.

That's awesome, that's what I always do too! What genres are you gonna tackle, mostly power and heavy?
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:14 pm 
 

Yeah, mostly that, probably, plus some stuff from other sub-genres once in a while to spice things up, and to have an excuse to leave my comfort zone. Probably gonna try and do Imagika's discography in the near future. That band could seriously use a bit of exposure, if you ask me.

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mjollnir
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:14 pm
Posts: 2057
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:29 pm 
 

Thought I'd chime in here. Great job Xlxlx! Your review was a nice read...clear, concise and easy on the eyes. As a matter of fact...that review makes me want to get the album. Welcome to reviewland. :)
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~Guest 282118
Argentinian Asado Supremacy

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:33 pm 
 

@Mjollnir: Thank you too, man :hail: It really is nice to have such a nice reception from the get go :-D Very encouraging.

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