Honestly, your review doesn't have very good content. It is written in the vain of impressionist review (Skerlić: O Koštani), but it's bad. Your usage of the adjectives like great, awesome, powerful etc. have zero effectiveness in describing the music (Bruce's voice is perfect, drums are killer, bass is loud enough so you can hear it). It would help if you apply a little, but enough analysis and explanations. Sadly, I can't help you with the grammar as I'm also suffering from the article disease.
PS: Forget about your pride and accept the fact that your review does not meet the criteria, people here really don't accept below average reviews, especially the ones with the grammar mistakes.

Can someone help me with this review or is it total garbage ?

Nasum in general is quite an underrated band compared to big the names of grindcore, with that being totally unjust as they are one of the most innovative bands of the genre. Take this recording for example... I've never heard such a raw, explosive and carefully structured noise in my life before!

This EP is a small package of huge doses of adrenaline, that you'll happily inject into your system, after a bad day at work. The intensity of Anders drumming and Miezko's vocal performance is unparalleled. The riffs are among the catchiest they've written throughout their career and the angry lyrics fit in the mood perfectly! My favourite feature of this release, in none other than the highly distorted production. Imagine the sound of "Human 2.0" but rawer, and more violent, this is insane I'm telling you! The atmosphere that the production creates reminds me of post-apocalyptic movies of science fiction and documentaries of WW1 and WW2. I bet that after a few listenings, you will catch yourself trying to imitate the drum fillers with your "air drum-kit" or something...

In my opinion "World in turmoil " is undisputedly the cream of the crop of Nasum's discography, and a criminally overlooked release that shouldn't remain under the radar. Give it a shot and you'll probably thank me for the rest of your life! Also, if you ever stumble across it, in some dusty shelf of an old record store, don't lose the opportunity to grab it, because it's not the commonest release out there...

I'd still like to know if I'm permanently banned from submitting, please?

Yes.

Surely there's a chance to rectify this. Call me a reformed character.

I'm sure your reviews will still be tedious, overlong headaches to read, rife with strange syntax, historical revisionism and typos as always. As the one who moderated nearly all of them, this isn't going to be reversed if I have anything to do with it

I'm suddenly picturing Snap's "I've got the power" along with a crew of really bad extras shouting "bo selecta!"

Guten tag

It's definitely not "garbage." Like your other submissions, it reads somewhat fragmented and choppy due to the unnecessary overuse of commas. For example: "This EP is a small package of huge doses of adrenaline, that you'll happily inject into your system, after a bad day at work. That second comma isn't necessary. You also forget to properly capitalize the album's title in the last paragraph, and overall the review feels like it could use more description of the music.

Alright guys, here's another one. When I first started here, I kind of went for my favorite albums first, so a lot of my favorite albums got stuck with reviews from me that were just terrible. I've been going back through those old drafts and fixing those that were salvageable and rewriting those that were not. The following is for Vio-Lence's Eternal Nightmare - my favorite thrash metal album - and I'd like you to really lay into this hard. I've got a messy rough draft here, so give it all you've got and lemme know everything wrong with it:



Right off, I know I'm missing substance and detail, and perhaps direction and organization. Where should I add stuff and what should I go more in-depth on? This is a bit of a more loose review compared what I've been doing as of late, and I'm not sure if this approach can work. Also, I have tended to avoid saying things like "This is the best" or "nothing compares" as it kind of looks immature, but is this a good thing to do when talking about an album that I do feel is "the best"? I'm trying to balance good description and depth with more personality. While my worst reviews are the really gushy crazy ones, the robotic, "big block of text" kinds of mine are equally as ineffective.

Thanks Diahmea, I'll try to fix these... By the way does anyone know a good grammar checker?

Hello everyone! I just wrote this little review, so it would be great if someone could give me some advice and tell me if it's alright or not. Thanks. =)

stainedclass2112: Mainly I think it's repetative. Maybe start by cutting out some of the many, many sentences that reiterate how insane it is and how much its awesome is going to annihilate something of mine. Keep the parts where you're talking about something specific (e.g., a band member's performance, a song that demonstrates something particularly memorable), but give us more of the "why and how" it's a masterpiece to you. Exuberance is good, but this is a bit like having an otherwise well toasted bagel overflowing with cream cheese. Scrape off some of the cream cheese.

Also, this draft may be prematurely posted here, since you already know you're missing substance and detail. Those are important.


Dejv: Apart from the formatting issues (italicize album titles, quotations around song titles) and periodic grammar omissions, substantively it reads like a check list after the third paragraph. It's important to describe the inidividual characteristics, but doing it in order is less interesting to read than a description of how each of those elements contributes to the whole product. Include a brief explanation of the "visual kei scene." That's not going to be immediately understood by more than a handful of people.

Essentially, rework this to be more coherent and easier to read. It doesn't have to be particularly long to be effective, so don't worry if it ends up being short.

I find it hard to specifically describe what I felt when I first heard this release. I think I would describe what I felt as a mix between joy at having found something so beautiful and melancholy at knowing there are very few bands out there that follow this formula (or at least that I know of). The first track opens with a nice little piano bit followed up by some guitars that create the main melody of the song. It is mostly symphonic in content with progressive elements and a melancholy atmosphere. The vocals are a little second rate in my opinion. The little bits that are wrong with this album pale in comparison, however, to the atmosphere that I can only describe as the vocalist looking back on his chaotic child hood (or at least that’s what I felt).

Another thing I find to be a defining feature about this album is that it is heavily influenced by Opeth. I couldn't tell you why but I would describe it as a modern day Opeth and the band Yes. Maybe it’s because of the heavy use of keyboards and progressive elements or maybe its the usage of clean vocals (they don't do as much clean singing as Opeth) or the acoustic passage that comes in at the middle of the first track. It is a very atmospheric and progressive EP and I love it.

Also, their first full length is coming out on the 27 of July, 2016.

My review was rejected for mentioning another reviewer by name. This was the only reason given so could I simply remove the reviewer's name ad resubmit an otherwise identical review?

Yup. It's not encouraged to "call out" or mention other reviewers at all, be it negative or positive. Just try and avoid it.

Ok thanks. Will bear that in mind in future.

My review for Black Crown Initiate's "Selves We Cannot Forgive" was rejected for typos. I'm in Germany right now and my computer keeps auto-correcting some words which is rather annoying. Still, even after reading my review several times and correcting my computer's auto-correction, there still seem to be mistakes I can't find. That's why I am asking you to help me identify these mistakes before re-submitting this review again.

Appeasing melancholy for body, mind and Soul - 91%

On its second full length release, American progressive death metal quintet Black Crown Initiate has further decreased its death metal roots to adapt a more progressive vibe based upon hypnotizingly melancholic melodies. Atmospheric instrumental parts and relaxed clean vocals dominate this intellectual record.

Many tracks start with calm instrumental parts that can last more than two minutes before the tunes actually start to sound like extreme metal music as in the case of the very representative title song "Selves We Cannot Forgive". This track even features some beautiful piano melodies, jazz rhythms and post rock vibes. Still, the numerous introductions on this album never sound boring, exchangeable or pretentious and always add to the atmosphere of each tune.

The acoustic guitar and guitar solos even recall progressive rock groups of the seventies like Gentle Giant and Yes in tunes like "Again". It's not a coincidence that the vinyl version of this record contains a cover of King Crimson's "Fallen Angel" either.

The enchanting, introspective and melodramatic vibes are occasionally interrupted by efficient death metal outbursts with low growls or high shouts, thunderous riffs, heavy bass guitars and a technically stunning drum play that adds some welcome blast beat passages to an otherwise slow record as in the diversified album highlight "Belie the Machine". This masterpiece sounds much shorter than its actual running time of nine minutes. On a side note, this track's chorus is one of the most beautiful things I have heard all year long.

A perfect example for the band's overall mellower sound described above is the album closer "Vicious Lives" that was streamed before the actual record was released. The tune takes three and a half minutes to build up an appeasing, natural and almost sacral atmosphere that recalls the calmer moments of bands like Anathema, Opeth or Solstafir. It takes far more than a minute before clean vocals kick in that remind me of Depeche Mode. Acoustic guitars and slow tribal drum passages slowly amplify the sound that leads to an emotional outburst with vivid drum passages, powerful riffs and liberated clean vocals for about forty-five seconds. The track then ends with a droning sound of static that goes back to the heavier opener to come full circle. In its structure, the tune recalls some more experimental tracks of contemporary In Flames. This kind of song might not be what death metal purists are looking for but anyone who likes profoundly emotional rock and metal music should recognize the high quality song writing behind this brilliant closer.

Death metal fans can still find a few heavier tunes like the diversified, engaging and very focused opener "For Red Clouds" where deep growls, passionate shouts and hypnotizing clean vocals harmonize perfectly. Still, even this heaviest tune on the album would have been among the calmer tracks on the predecessor. This opening track seems to go back to the band's roots for a very last time while the rest of the album becomes progressively calmer and ends with the smoothest tune that seems to indicate a bold future.

Even though an obvious hit like "A Great Mistake" is missing on this sophomore effort, Selves We Cannot Forgive is overall slightly better than the predecessor because each song is close to perfection and follows a clear and coherent structure of emotionally driven melancholy. The album as a whole is a real grower and best enjoyed in a dark room with your headphones on. The more one listens to this release, the more sense it makes. This is definitely a big step in the right directiion for this young band that already manages to craft a very distinctive sound. This record should be a rock solid candidate for the top spots on the lists of the best records of the year for anyone who likes progressive extreme metal.

Dia pretty much covered it but I'd go further and not even mention other reviews at all if you can avoid it. Maybe an anonymous shout out or a passing reference to "some reviewers/listeners/fans/whatever say..." but nothing more than that. We obviously can't police intentions but revenge reviews are lame as shit and that's the easiest way to spot them. So yeah, just try to avoid it in the future.

So i've tried to rectify the Nasum review but i don't feel like it needs more details regarding the music part, it's just pure straight in your face grindcore. Please read it and tell me if it's acceptable now



Also i'd like to apologize for resubmmiting the Graveyard review before posting it in the workshop first, but i hadn't seen the notice on my other rejected reviews that suggested me to do so.



If I'm not asking too much, please take a look in this one as well and i promise you that it will be the last you've seen from me, because it feels like I'm putting the mods into uneccessary trouble, since I'm not a native English speaker.

You need to remember to capitalize "I," and you are using too many commas. It reads very fragmented and awkward. The Nasum review could use some more description of the music, Same with the King Diamond one.

This is my latest review. I'd appreciate some feedback, good sirs.



EDIT: Ok, so I see people are quite busy for now. Therefore, I'm gonna submit this one as it is and further edit it if I ever receive some feedback on it later. Don't take this as some kind of proof of ungratefulness but since this review was requested a long time ago I can't really keep it much longer unpublished.

Just realized, I referred to a Twisted Sister EP that I reviewed as a "demo" and not an EP. Will gladly fix if I can get it un-submitted or I guess "rejected" asap.

Just fix the mistake. It automatically reverts it back to a draft and puts it back in the queue once you hit submit again.

Can anyone please help me as to what is wrong about my review of Medieval Steel's "Medieval Steel" ? Thank you in advance:

With the New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal ( or NWOTHM ) on the rise , it's certainly great to see metal music going back to the basics before all these sub-genre categorization. bands like Cauldron , White Wizzard , & Enforcer are just some of the greater bands in this movement. maybe that's what metal music needed; just a return to the traditional methods.


And while that maybe nice , it still doesn't match up with the actual traditional heavy metal from the past. We're all familiar with Iron Maiden, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Dio, & many others; However, I'll be reviewing a self-titled EP from band that were lost in the popularity of the aforementioned bands & never reached the same success but still deserve some attention . The band that I speak of is no other than Medieval Steel from Memphis, TN. being from Memphis myself I can tell you that we don't much of a metal scene. all we're really known for is Elvis Presley , B.B. King, and some Hip Hop acts; so it's refreshing to see a metal band from your city where metal music isn't really popular. But lets get the review shall we.


The album mostly consists of themes of medieval topics like going into battle, fighting warlords, kings, & honor; common topics with many bands of the time. Another topic on the album is love; specifically the songs "Tears In The Rain" & "Echo" which aren't bad but are certainly the album's weak point. while those topics were in other bands' songs , Medieval Steel just brings a certain charm that you just like it. Now, the the album's highest points are the songs "Medieval Steel" & "Ghost In The Battlefield" which are just epic battle anthems that you can you play in some Battle of Hastings reenactment.

Hi, just wanted your comments on the following review:

Running Wild Victims of State Power EP 95%

Besides being the band's debut, "Victim of States Power" became the blueprint on which they mainly based their compositions afterwards. The NWOBHM influences are clearly reflected herein, and the song structures are mainly derived from the musical foundation of said subgenre. But what was making the difference between the German metallers and the aforementioned British bands was their imagery, which depicted the band's obsession with satanism and occultism (something that the EP's cover cannot make more obvious).

Given the short number of tracks in this release, it could not be expected to be an ambitious release nor the most brilliant work in their catalogue. Rather, what makes this release interesting, are the songs themselves: three excelent compositions whose strongest and most explosive moments are exactly placed at the right time. And to their merit, they correctly balanced the catchiness that characterized power metal with the roughness of their songs, even though this mix commonly brings bad results.

The title song is definitely their most explosive moment due to its frenetic and thrashy pace, which in a certain way resembles some of the musical foundation of Judas Priest song "Rapid Fire", and features some of the band's characteristic guitar playing/arrangements. But this frenetism is stopped by "Walpurgis Night" (it is not a cover version of the Stormwitch song, of course), which is in general terms quite similar to the ones featured in the Maiden song "Two Minutes to Midnight". But what even makes "Walpurgis Night" better than the latter is the tremendous closing riff which perfectly fits a song from their piracy years. Finally, "Satan" follows the line of the previous two songs, though its pace lies in the middle of said songs.

Like other releases of this nature, the EP is more a collectible item rather than a complete release. However, once again, the high quality of the songs featured herein make of it an essential item for those who want to get into the sound of the German band and learn more about the early years of power metal. Therefore, it is not recommended for those who want to listen a complete or full-length release, as they could get disappointed. That is, people expecting a well-arranged and solid album.

You spend two paragraphs on poorly establishing a context/history and in the one paragraph you actually address the band and their release you don't describe their music at all. All I have learned from your review is that:

1) They're from Memphis

2) They have lyrics about medieval themes but also love

Also "New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal" is not a thing. Don't make up garbage terms like that.



This opening paragraph could probably be re-written from scratch because it doesn't say a lot and leaves the reader with some pressing questions: what makes this EP any different from their previous demos and their actual debut release 'Gates to Purgatory' later that year? Is there a discernible difference in song structures? Riffs? How is the lyrical focus on Satanism/Occultism the only significant difference between them and NWOBHM? (Of which numerous bands still used the subject in various songs, perhaps not to the same extent). Are you saying this focus changed their sound? How so?



Same problems as the previous paragraph, same questions come up. "Most explosive moments are exactly placed at the right time" is an awkward as fuck sentence to read/say. Again, what are the differences between how the songs are on this EP compared to 'Gates of Purgatory'? Why does this release deserve a 95%? How is this music rougher than the power metal at the time? (I'm mostly thinking of Jag Panzer right now) This is just heavy metal, power metal really didn't have a definition at this time.



Freneticism is misspelled and not a word; try "frantic pace". What is characteristic about their guitar work? Describe it. If I hadn't heard these songs I feel like I would know nothing coming out of this review about what they sound like. What makes the closing riffs on "Walpurgis Night" so good? Is it the riffs that preceded it? The pacing? Tempo shift? etc. etc. You don't even describe "Satan" so maybe try saying something more than "It's not too fast and it's not too slow".



Closer is fine but again, I don't see why I need this EP or why it is rated so highly. If it's a collectible, it is not essential.



This sentence is completely superfluous and has way too many commas. Speak it out loud, with the appropriate pauses for commas: sounds stilted as hell.

Literally the most generic review I've ever read. An utterly neutral achievement.

What are you reviewing, what was the rejection message, and what do you want to see come out of this?

Could someone please help me with my review?

I first heard this album through a friend who loves this kind of metal. He owns the cd of it and he is polish. I barely trust his music taste as he listens to other deplorable metal such as gojira and crap like mainstream metalcore (As I Lay Dying, All that Remains, Underoath). Anyway I miss the old decapitated with Sauron on vocals, VItek on drums, and Martin on bass. From the only original lineup only Vogg is left on Guitar. In the beginning Decapitated played extremely technical death metal with Vogg playing these insane riffs with tons of tremolo picking, abrupt time changes, and very fast scale runs. His solos were also very technical featuring lots of harmonic minor scale runs and lots of arpeggio use as well as being very melodic and clean sounding. Now the riffs decapitated plays are weak chugga chugga nonsense more similar to crap like Asking Alexandria and Attack Attack rather then their old selves or Nile. It's truly terrible.

I know Vitek died in an accident and Sauron left, but after that Accident in 2006 they should of called it quits plus Martin left on top of that. So all they have is Vogg now. Vogg should of just ended the band cause there were no more original members left. But no, he got greedy and decided to resurrect the decaying carcass or Decapitated and try to continue the band by himself. The problem is though these new musicians he hired are just garbage. They're just shadows of the old Decapitated. The drummer they have now is terrible as he is a Vitek wannabe he can't blast properly, he can't double bass as fast as him, and his personality is stupid so overall he's a terrible drummer. The bassist is of course drowned out, decapitated always drowned out their bassist, but he's still neglected on this album. The main problem I have with this album is the vocalist though. He sounds like he would fit in better for a metalcore/hardcore band. Come one those harsh vocals are weak as hell. Where are the mightty death growls that Sauron had? His vocals were mighty and guttural. This guy just shouts really badly. He is reminiscent of terrible Mallcore bands like Limp Bizkit, As I lay dying, and Five Finger Death Punch, also Rasta's lyrics are just flat out garbage. Here is an example of these lyrics.

"Orgasmic Value rules the aphrodisiac world.
Fuck for money!
Fuck for name!
Fuck for money!
Fuck for fame!"

Just terrible, now compare these lyrics to the mighty Sauron.

"Salvation is nothing - nothing is salvation
The great fractal of existence sinks into itself
Nature calls for destroyer, desires
It is the highest time for holy zero to come
Collapsing reality craves for the end."

As you can see Sauron's lyrics were well written with a lot of effort put into them while Rasta's are just typical angsty teen lyrics with no substance just a bunch of f-words thrown in to seem "angry" and "rebellious." Instead it comes off as just childish.

The only positive thing about this record is the good production that is it. Everything else about it comes off as fake and wannabe. Decapitated should have called it quits after Organic in 2006 unfortunately, Vogg still wanted to play even though the band was in a terrible state. Think of a dog who is 19 years old, has only one leg, and has a missing eye. It would be best to just put it to rest, instead of letting it live it's life in agony. That is how decapitated is right now, it is that dog that is in terrible agony that just needs to be put to rest. I will always miss the old decapitated with the mighty Sauron on vocals, Vitek(RIP) on drums, Vogg on guitars, and Martin on bass. So all in all just a terrible and bland album.

You know what I'm going to say, mikey22. I know you do: grammar, typos, disorganized. This writing is lazy. I'm dead sure you know exactly where to start fixing your basics, but you can't be arsed, which is annoying.

Hey guys, I want to practice my writing (like most people in here, i'm not a native speaker) so if someone could help me out pointing the major mistakes, typos, etc on these two reviews, that would be awesome. Thanks in advance!

Not bad, IanThrash. In both of them you'll have to separate your paragraphs with an additional enter stroke, and also format your track/album titles (which you do for the "crushing metal tracks," so I don't know why you left it out the rest of the time).

In the first review, the paragraph about Decay's vocals can be included in the later paragraph about the rest of the instrumentation, but be careful -- don't just cut and paste because that paragraph will turn into a check list. You'll have to rework it so that you aren't talking about each element in a short list.

In general, I think they read a little choppily, but they aren't bad starts at all. Make all the formatting corrections and any changes you thought of in the meantime. Then repost them here. Notes will be clearer that way.

Hi everyone, please, help me with poor grammar of my review.

"Many Arab countries have a negative attitude toward metal music. Any opposition to religion can easily get someone put in jail. Iran is no exception. There have banned metal at the state level, and for it envisage criminal liability. Consequently, groups in this genre is very few and they are all in the deep underground. One of these groups, "Sorg Innkallelse" can safely be called a worthy representative of the small Iranian black-metal scene.

This work, "Into the Dark Tower" is one of the best. The album is full of depression, anguish, rancor and fear, which are transmitted by unique sound of guitars.
This is not surprising, since such groups are often subjected to harassment by the authorities, and this leaves a significant mark in creativity. The music itself is very good. Sound of this group I associate with "Sorg Innkallelse". This unique sound gives some depression and transmits oriental flavor and atmosphere, and in conjunction with the wicked, with the promise of a good sad convey feelings authors. Lyrics unknown, but judging by the names of tracks, it is a fairly dark themes.

From the first track, 'Arrival Tormentor,' you will feel this grim oriental black metal fury. There's the unique sound, and temperate blast beats, and good screaming vocals. The following tracks have a similar sound, but each of them has its own peculiarity, that leaves a good impression. "Departure" in the middle dilutes the album. All songs on the album have fast pace and "oriental riffs".
The last track, "Incessant Winds of Despair" is the best by right of, it transmits the general mood. "

Thanks Grave, all corrections are welcome and much appreciated! I edited Cauldron's review, here is the revised text.

Notes in spoiler.





Notes in spoiler.

Thank, Grave_Wyrm.

Can someone help me with my review? I have difficulty grasping the English language.

Come on dude, don't be a shitheel. People are legitimately trying to get help in this thread.

Awesome feedback! I tried to solve all the grammar and formatting issues. I rewrote some parts, hope it's an improvement!

Not anymore, no. You've made zero attempts to apply anything anyone has told you. You don't go see a tutor, and you fix nothing ever. Don't keep posting new just-as-flawed pieces. Fix work you've already posted according to the advice you've already been given. Those are the only conditions under which I will consider helping you.



You're welcome. Looking forward to the update.



It definitely is. Nice work. Notes in spoiler.

Grave_Wyrm, my review is pending 4 days