Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
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 Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:10 pm |
Xlxlx wrote: Pharaoh's The Longest Night Notes in spoiler.
(Since the guys already said the relevant things, I'm going to focus mainly on form. I've recommended it before, but since your writing is already as good as it is, I think you'd do well to pick up Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style." It's a thin, cheap, easily procured, indispensible book. So far my favorite writing book other than the dictionary.)The Night Sky Beckons - 95%Crossing the desert sands, under the gaze of the ever vigilant stars. Galloping towards enemy front lines, weapons ready to kill. Eternal love, lost to merciless oblivion. (The commas aren't necessary in the first and second sentences. The comma works in the second sentence because you switch subjects. Also, I think the main phrases should be separated by semicolons. A series of fragment sentences reads painfully and periods jar with them. Eventually you explain that they're images, but semicolons should bring that across immediately.) These are the kind of images that The Longest Night brings to mind, with its swirling, evocative melodies and powerfully romantic lyricism, all of which clearly fits a regular heavy metal mould, while still possessing enough flourish and creativity to easily stand out from the crowd. (Acrobat is right to point out these run-on sentences. There are several ways to deal with these and it basically comes down to rhythm and permutation.) Indeed, the Pharaoh crew display a uniquely thoughtful approach to metal writing here, probably best described as "out of the box traditionalism", where the old and familiar is seamlessly integrated into a stranger paradigm, albeit seamlessly enough that neither half suffers for it. (Run-on revision) Right off the bat, this is demonstrated by the percussive barrage that opens "Sunrise", an 8 minute epic that easily alternates between a hasty USPM gallop and more esoteric bursts of melody. The guitar work here is nothing short of astonishing, with Matt Johnsen's mesmerizing licks taking the center stage, although not without competing against Tim Aymar's gruff baritenor. The interplay between these two is easily one of Pharaoh's biggest selling points, besides the fantastic songwriting and crisp production. (Switching these points and ending with the biggest selling points is a stronger ending to this paragraph.)
(Re: run-ons. The rhythm of the paragraph should be more influential on how the run-ons are revised than sheer grammar. Sentences need to both be clear and participate in the flow of ideas of a paragraph. If any sentence fails in either regard, it needs revision. However, following grammar alone can be dessicating. Writing will have a musicality to it, clearly. Your job is to control that musicality with vocabulary. Short sentences can be made out of almost any part of a run-on sentence and can do a lot to break up the stream of consciousness and put "air" into the music. It's up to you where that happens. I'll recommend, though, that you imagine something closer to writing lyrics: precision can be relieving, and "work the verb.")After the terrific opener, we go straight into "seek and destroy" mode with "I Am the Hammer", a short burst of energy that pounds the listener as mercilessly as its blunt, boastful title suggests. Right after it, "In the Violet Fire" just barely slows the pace down, with deceptively soft verses sandwiched between a triumphant chorus, and a bridge that gives the impression that Aymar himself will burst into flame at a moment's notice from the sheer, overwhelming power that his voice exhudes. It might be redundant at this point, but it's worth pointing out that these songs don't sound quite like anything else out there; vague  traces of ancestral, timeless influences that everyone worth their salt is aware of can be felt here and there (Such as? Prove you are worth your salt!!), but the Pharaoh engine itself is built with nearly unrecognizable alloys, and fueled by the raw, distilled passion of those who assembled it and keep it running. The album does peak a bit early with the absolutely breathtaking "By the Night Sky", which is probably the best Maiden epic never actually written by Maiden themselves, complete with a heavy bass presence and a grandiose historical theme. This song is a perfect representation of what metal at its best ought to be, with its biblical songwriting scope, shameless adherence to a theatrical mindset, and inspiring musicianship. Not a single note or beat is in the wrong place here. Nothing can be done or changed to make "By the Night Sky" better. It cannot be improved upon. Truly, this single composition quite possibly stands as the biggest testament to Pharaoh's talent as artists. The only complaint that could ever be thrown in its way is that it isn't the The Longest Night's closer, through not fault of its own.
After that paragon of metallic might, we return to ground level with "Endlessly", with steady riffing meat wrapped around strong percussive bones, Aymar showing off his range with some sky-piercing highs, and a recurring guitar lick that lends a sense of urgency to the songs's tragic tale of betrayal. The title track continues the theme of mixing strong riffing with more melancholy melodies, eventually breaking down into a wistful, near-ballad pace around the second minute mark, before returning to a war-like gallop for its outro. And speaking of war-like gallops, "Fighting" is made up nearly entirely of them, with an electric chorus and frenzied leads that go more and more demented as the song reaches its climax. Out of all the songs here, "Fighting" is probably the most normal when compared to more traditional USPM, but it has nothing to envy from the likes of Jag Panzer or Omen as far as quality goes.
The final stretch here keeps a steady peace all throughout "Like a Ghost" and "Up the Gates", closing with a nice little instrumental piece in "Never Run", with its explosive, frantic harmonies and gorgeous solos (including a terrific, if brief, bass intrusion). However, these last few songs also happen to be the most awkward, and not because of a lack of quality, no, but because of their placement in the album. While perfectly decent on their own, these aren't really the type of stand out tracks one reserves for the closing of a record as monumental as The Longest Night. Track distribution is quite possibly this album's biggest and only blemish, which speaks more of its astonishing craftsmanship than it does of its failures, considering the kind of nitpicking this reviewer is reduced to in order to find some kind of imperfection in its construction.(Diamhea is right that this is essentially a track by track. Good description, but you're going to have to select the information about the individual tracks that serves a broader description of the album as a whole. Alternatively, you can focus on a couple of tracks as specifically indicative of what makes this album so good.)Pharaoh's sophomore release is the kind of underground gem that justifies scouring the depths of the genre as thoroughly as only serious enthusiasts of music do. (Or the lucky bastard who stumbled upon it or read about it in a rec thread.) A shining beacon of creativity, encased within a framework of metallic classicism, it can be put alongside monsters such as The Spectre Within or Transcendence without fear of doubt or ridicule. (This is almost a dare to listen to it! I'LL FUCKING DO IT, MAN I'M NOT SCARED!!!)Truly, the night beckons, and its call resounds with the wailing of steel.
vinterkrieger wrote: labeled with Awful grammar Notes in spoiler.
I stumbled on this band back in 2010 looking for some new bands on obscure black metal blogs, I found the artwork beautiful and gave it a try and boy, I wasn't prepared for what I heard. (Why are you using commas when you should be using periods?) If it's your first time hearing about this band I strongly suggest you start with Vittra (Formatting), this album is magical. But don't expect fast riffs powered with blast beats and raging growls, this album is all about atmosphere, put your headphones, sit on your couch , close your eyes and let the trip begin. (This is what he's talking about.)This album is very slow to mid paced with beautiful leading guitars slowly building the atmosphere while the other guitar is just pounding slow chord riffs, but they build the atmosphere perfectly, some songs have synths like 'Skuggorna kallar', and they transform the song, I can't put it into words since you must hear it for yourself , also the acoustic guitars... what can I tell about them? most songs have interludes or just some background acoustic riffs , but they are well crafted, they could do a whole acoustic album and it would make it as beautiful as Vàli's albums because they know how to create them, this album also have two acoustic instrumental songs, they function as interludes since they are very short ones (sadly) but I can enjoy these almost 2 minutes acoustic songs in a loop and they won't feel tedious, that's how well crafted they are. (Run-ons and these baffling commas. You need to know what commas are for. You can't not know. You use periods at the end of paragraphs, so what gives?)All in all, there's not much I can describe the songs anymore since this is the kind of band you <i><strong>have</strong></i> to give a listen to and feel it. The slow paced riffs could be in some doom metal band but with the mix of slow paced riffs + beautiful leading guitars + acoustic riffs (Did you do this on your phone? Plus signs are not words. are what make this band one of my favorite black metal bands. Also, the vocals are awesome, it's the "traditional" black metal vocal but with more strength allied with some clean vocals on the side, it's (Wtf?) also in Swedish which for me make the whole thing even more beautiful and atmospheric. Their discography is gold, I will write reviews (or already wrote depending when you read this) for the other 3 albums too , they changed quite a bit on their last two albums but they are equally awesome! (Exclamation comma!) but I suggest you listen to them in order to feel the difference slowly building from the second album onwards! I hope you found this review useful. (So .. yeah. What the hell? It's definitely awful, but it's reliably awful. That is really confusing to me. I think you're just being really lazy. On the one hand that means it's an easy fix. On the other hand, get it together. This isn't acceptable, and I mean in general life let alone here.)
Bigotry is a mental health issue.
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(This is one of the best in history?)
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Also, just noticed I used "seamlessly" twice in the same sentence in a very awkward fashion, so that's corrected too.