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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:12 pm 
 

Conniver wrote:
Annihilation by Kublai Khan? Been rejected a couple of times for technical and grammatical errors but I'm having difficulty spotting them out.

Notes in spoiler.
Spoiler: show
(Greetings, Luciferus, and thank you for bringing this here. A couple of questions
1) Is English your first language?
2) Have you read the site rules?
3) Are you a student, and do you have access to a composition tutor?

I'm not going to go through the entire review. I will point out indicative errors. I say that as a disclaimer so that you don't just fix the things I point out, resubmit, and get it rejected again. You'll have to apply what you learn. )

...

Back when Megadeth has been :nazi: (Verb tense disagreement) just a little short of being mega famous, and just before their debut album, Dave Mustaine kicked out Greg Handevidt due to "incompetence." After only a year with the band to fated to become :nazi: one of the largest names in metal, Greg join :nazi: in the wave of one-shot hotshot thrash/speed metal (If you prefer, NWOOSHSTSM (What the fuck?)), under the name that is most certainly fitting for metal, Kublai Khan. And the :nazi: music heard in their only album, Annihilation blows Mustaine's asinine accusation of a lack of skill. (It blows his accusation? That's odd phrasing)

(So, as you can see, that opening paragraph has a group of different problems. This is why I ask you if English is your first language. If you're having trouble identifying where you're off the track, that's my best guess why.)


The first track, named Death Breath- yes, Death Breath (Song title formatting) -basically sums this album's technical and musical genius and vice. The production is a double-edged sword, which I'll go into a little more, but so far just sound foul :nazi: to the ears. The drumming is played without much consideration, and is sometimes too loud to allow for the riffs and vocalist to dominate one's mind. But :nazi: when it does, it does it, and does it without any regard towards the idea of idealism or variety. It's followed the simple but effective strategy, thrashing throughout the entirety of this album without any unnecessary need for a break in the pattern. The gang shouts are by far some of the best I ever heard in anything thrash. Hell, best gang shouts I heard in anything metal. :nazi: It has a sharp viscous and vicious, with this callous nature morphing into more plodding power-stomping. This is evident in Mongrel Horde (Song title formatting).

(I'm confused by this paragraph. I've underlined the parts that confuse me. Odd phrasing, obviously, but I'm not sure how to correct it because I'm not sure what your objectives/meanings are. Not only is the phrasing brow-furrowing in general, "sharp viscous" is an oxymoron. Also, I don't know what a gang shout is, and you use the term repeatedly. Please clarify basically everything here for your readers)

Mongrel Horde basically refines the ideas in Death Breath to show even more color in the way this album was created. The low production has already enveloped a charm :nazi: (Vocabulary: "enveloped" isn't the word you're looking for) of sorts, adding to the age and primal nature of this album, and it also bleeds into the instruments and vocals in a good way. The gang shouts in Mongrel Horde wouldn't have that blasting force if it were of a higher production, it woulda :nazi: (No dice, man) needed to go for a higher vocal range which would not be fitting for such a song. In fact, the lead vocalist takes care of that, a :nazi: monstrous voice, that man. That slugger-and-swarmer switching overtaking the beginning of this song is simply beautifully made; That :nazi: riff in the start is a great and foreboding way to cut straight to a speedfest. The low production keys in again to show its magic. After the second of the third verse, (Huh?) it returns to the warcry that wormed this song (Not "Fall to your knees, mind you) (Very confusing). It's goes :nazi: on all the same as before. However, the low production allowed for the chanting to transform into a gutair solo! That by itself is pretty badass, and it only gets better with the solo itself rocking and the Greg :nazi: even adding more to the song by getting very more frantic, :nazi: as though the mongrel horde is now circling in.

The only song I find trouble with is Down to the Inferno, a tribute to those mid-tempo chugging guitars and pounding drums tunes, like Seek and Destroy from Metallica and such. However, it doesn't have that doesn't have a impacting effect on memory, and thus, by the time it's over, most of the music has faded outta memory and the only thing I can recall after numberous times was Greg yelling as he's dragged into the inferno. Not bad, I image a remaster would do a miracle to this song, but it's simply mediocre at its current (and maybe permanent) state. After this, Liars' Dice hits the stage and provide the return to thrashing insanity, and the most note-worthy track in this album follows afterwards. Passing Away/Kublai Khan. One of the only songs that break the 4 minutes part for a hefty 7 minutes. And hefty this song is. It's a well-crafted mix of a power ballad and the speeding thrash from before. Acoustic breaks and constant thrash that envelop your ears. This album can be sold from this song alone, it simply clobber most tracks beforehand and with ease, which is already difficult to do. It's simply amazing.

The songs after the title track are also quite lovely, being the simple style of the songs before it. This entire album is dedicated to thrash in its core. If anyone can get past the poorer-than-most production, this entire album is much beyond worthy of a buy. Always wished for a reunion, one more powerful than that one demo in the early 2000's. Once again, this is most certainly worth the purchase. Till then, I'll just hold on to this classic thrash.



(I think that's enough. Clearly there are a variety of issues with this review. Care to elaborate?

In general I think that style and grasp of composition are standing in your way from writing an otherwise heart-felt review. The body of the piece clearly has a lot of concentration put into it. Your descriptions are going in a decent direction, and there aren't any major problems with the general outline. The flow of ideas needs better organization to get some of the out of place ideas into the proper paragraphs, and the language work needs improvement, but these are all fixable errors; they just need practice and time.)
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 6:10 am 
 

Hi guys, I'm not very confident about this review (it's unfinished) and I'll be really happy to get some advice on what's wrong with it/what could be written better/etc:

Spoiler: show
With this album, Arallu have clearly proven themselves as one of the most unique metal black metal bands in Israel. Their mixture of thrash, death, black, and oriental music is quite distinctive and genuine- which is something that most modern BM lacks. This time, the band have shifted their sound to be based on more thrash and oriental elements rather than the death and black ones that were more prominent in their former releases.

Geniewar starts with a middle eastern jam session, and as the ouds, darbukas, and flutes kick in you know that this album is one hell of a ride. This album is PACKED with middle eastern instrumentation, both with traditional Levantine and metal instruments. Riff wise, the album is clearly a black/thrash album with middle eastern influences- with every song blending these two genres perfectly and tastefully. Songs like From the Desert to the Ice, Coronation, and Underworld Resistance will make you start belly dancing before you'll finish screaming YALLA HAFLA!!

Like in every Arallu album, the atmosphere is raw, bestial, and uncultivated- in contrast to bands such as Orphaned Land and Melechesh which feature a more tamed and atmospheric sound. The drumming is frenzy and shifts between typical blast bleats/thrash drumming to a more galloping rhythm which is often accompanied by a really talented darbuka player that fits the album's bestial middle eastern atmosphere. The harsh vocals have improved since their former albums, but they are more tamed and polished than the ones featured in their previous outputs. This thing doesn't interfere with the album's atmosphere, and fits well inside it.

The covers that are featured in this album are very unique. interesting, and provide some of the album's most interesting and unusual moments. Except for the altered Powerslave cover, Geniewar features two covers of old Israeli war songs that were executed very originally and give an interesting interpretation to the originals.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 5:50 pm 
 

raspberrysoda wrote:
(it's unfinished)


Spoiler: show
Welcome back.


With this album, Arallu have clearly proven themselves as one of the most unique metal black metal bands :nazi: in Israel. (Corroborate this claim or simply rephrase) Their mixture of thrash, death, black, and oriental music (You're kidding me .. right?) is quite distinctive and genuine- which is something that most modern BM lacks. This time, the band have shifted their sound to be based on more thrash and oriental elements (Choose a more appropriate adjective, one that helps you avoid sounding like a social casualty) rather than the death and black ones that were more prominent in their former releases.

Geniewar (Formatting) starts with a middle eastern jam session, and as the ouds, darbukas, and flutes kick in you know that this album is one hell of a ride. This album is PACKED with middle eastern instrumentation, both with traditional Levantine and metal instruments. Riff wise, the album is clearly a black/thrash album with middle eastern influences- with every song blending these two genres perfectly and tastefully. Songs like From the Desert to the Ice, Coronation, and Underworld Resistance (Formatting) will make you start belly dancing before you'll finish screaming YALLA HAFLA!! (I used to live behind a church. Every Sunday, the congregation would sing together. One woman would predictably sing very loudly and off key. In this metaphor, you are that woman.)

Like in every Arallu album, the atmosphere is raw, bestial, and uncultivated- in (Trespassing hyphen?) contrast to bands such as Orphaned Land and Melechesh which feature a more tamed and atmospheric sound. The drumming is frenzy :nazi: and shifts between typical blast bleats/thrash drumming to a more galloping rhythm which is often accompanied by a really talented darbuka player that fits the album's bestial middle eastern atmosphere. (Protracted sentence) The harsh vocals have improved since their former albums, but they are more tamed and polished than the ones featured in their previous outputs. (Awkward phrasing) This thing doesn't interfere with the album's atmosphere, and fits well inside it (Unclear, awkward phrasing).

The covers that are featured in this album are very unique. interesting, and provide :nazi: some of the album's most interesting and unusual moments. Except for the altered Powerslave cover, Geniewar features two covers of old Israeli war songs that were executed very originally and give an interesting interpretation to the originals. (Redundantly phrased, but really interesting. Please elaborate.)



(Decent first draft. I can follow your general structure. More than anything it feels hurried and anxious, a tendency that your clique shares. It's clear that you want to get to the point and cover the bases in short order. That's fine, but this is surprisingly difficult to read despite being short. It's like you're rattling off a list of single topics in sequence. They share a theme, but they don't connect well. Rework the flow of ideas. Build in transitions to break up the analytical log jam in the two middle paragraphs.

- I'm interested in hearing more about the reinterpreted traditional warsongs and more about the album's atmosphere. Three adjectives doesn't quite cut it for me.
- Calling Melechesh tame is surprising, so a more substantial comparison could be useful.
- Be less presentational in your style, and focus on being informative.
- I keep feeling like you're trying to sell me something, and I just want a good album review.)
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2016 6:05 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Rework the flow of ideas.


This is one of the things that annoy me the most with my latest reviews.. how can I do that?

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
I'm interested in hearing more about the reinterpreted traditional warsongs and more about the album's atmosphere. Three adjectives doesn't quite cut it for me.


Should I use a thesaurus or something like that? Because I ran out of ideas for adjectives that can fit in that review.
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Stenkth
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Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:04 am
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 12:53 am 
 

I made a review for Necromantia's debut: Crossing the Fiery Path, can you help me telling me if this is fine?

Review Title: Crossing the Boring Path
Rate: 60%

Musically speaking, Necromantia's debut is not weak at all; however, it has a lot of moments that make it quite tedious. The Greek band played a somehow slow black metal music, which sounds a bit weak (considering that by 1993 Immortal and Darkthrone have already released extreme black metal albums).

Great features in this album include the 8-string bass, which sounds like a downtuned guitar, and a quite enjoyable vocal work, even though vocals here aren't as shrieky as they are supposed to be under the standards of the 90's black metal. But unfortunately, the songs in this album are filled with overlong melodic passages that result quite boring and ended up affecting the quality of the compositions featured herein. Maybe the band tried to make the music sound evil and dark. Rather, the songs sound like a lame instrumental soundtrack for a bad horror movie about vampires and werewolves in Transylvania.

The most forgettable part of this album is the almost 12 minutes long instrumental section that comprises the second half of "Warlock" and the shitty, boring instrumental "Last Song for Valdezie", as well. But fortunately, after all this waste of time, the album comes back with the 8-string bass, the cool, not so shrieky vocals that helped the music in this album sound good.

The best song in this album is "Les Litanies de Satan", which on 9 minutes combines the clean and shrieky vocals, the instrumental passages (which sound fine in this song), and a Transylvannian evil atmosphere. Finally, the closing track is more of the same boring stuff: dull atmospheric music that sounds like a gothic lament instead of a black metal song or an evil outro. Therefore, it has nothing to do with the album.

If this album has been released in 1989 or 1991, it would result amazing and very influential to many bands, but it was released in 1993, a year in which albums like "Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism", "Under a Funeral Moon" or "Tol Cormpt Norz" were released, so this album meant nothing to the genre. And although this is not a bad album, it is ruined by the aforementioned overlong and boring monents.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:13 am 
 

raspberrysoda wrote:
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
Rework the flow of ideas.

This is one of the things that annoy me the most with my latest reviews.. how can I do that?

Have a look at this handout on transitions for a general explanation.

I recommend that students avail themselves of their resources, so do look around here and at Purdue OWL. There's truly no harm in learning.


raspberrysoda wrote:
Grave_Wyrm wrote:
I'm interested in hearing more about the reinterpreted traditional warsongs and more about the album's atmosphere. Three adjectives doesn't quite cut it for me.

Should I use a thesaurus or something like that? Because I ran out of ideas for adjectives that can fit in that review.

One of the more endearing things you've written. A thesaurus is going to give you synonyms, so .. yes, you should use one as often as possible. They can be, however, misleading deathtraps of vile pretentiousness. They're tools of exploration more than anything else. The dictionary is your bedrock, but be sure to find one that discerns among clusters of synonyms. There's really nothing like precise language to get your point across. That said, I'm not talking about a thesaurus per se, or asking for a different string of descriptors. I'm talking about illustrating the album's atmosphere with description.


EDIT:
Stenkth wrote:
Necromantia's debut: Crossing the Fiery Path, can you help me telling me if this is fine?

I'm not a moderator, but from where I'm standing, it's not fine. Notes in spoiler.

Spoiler: show
(I'm guessing English isn't your first language, but considering your other reviews, I'm not sure what happened here. There are too many grammatical and spelling errors. They're easy enough to fix, just proofread carefully. You have enough of a grasp on the language to be able to do that better than you did.)


Review Title: Crossing the Boring Path
Rate: 60%

Musically speaking, Necromantia's debut is not weak at all; however, [/b] :nazi: (Close, but I recommend changing that to a period. "however" is pretty awkward after a semicolon it has a lot of moments that make it quite tedious. The Greek band played a somehow slow black metal music, which sounds a bit weak (considering that by 1993 Immortal and Darkthrone have already released extreme black metal albums). (I'm not sure what your point is here. Immortal and Darkthrone aren't the only ways to play black metal, nor does what they do in a year have much bearing on what a different band does in the same year.)

Great features in this album include the 8-string bass, which sounds like a downtuned guitar, and a quite enjoyable vocal work, even though vocals here aren't as shrieky as they are supposed to be under the standards of the 90's black metal. But unfortunately, the songs in this album are filled with overlong melodic passages that result quite boring :nazi: and ended up affecting the quality of the compositions featured herein. Maybe the band tried to make the music sound evil and dark. Rather ("Instead"), the songs sound like a lame instrumental soundtrack for a bad horror movie about vampires and werewolves in Transylvania. (<--This is spelled correctly here)

The most forgettable part of this album is the almost 12 minutes long instrumental section that comprises the second half of "Warlock" and the shitty, boring instrumental "Last Song for Valdezie", as well. But fortunately, after all this waste of time, the album comes back with the 8-string bass, the cool, not so shrieky vocals :nazi: that helped the music in this album sound good.

The best song in this album is "Les Litanies de Satan", which on 9 minutes combines the clean and shrieky vocals, the instrumental passages (which sound fine in this song), and a Transylvannian (<--This is spelled incorrectly here. What the!?) evil atmosphere. Finally, the closing track is more of the same boring stuff: dull atmospheric music that sounds like a gothic lament instead of a black metal song or an evil outro. Therefore, it has nothing to do with the album.

If this album has been released in 1989 or 1991, it would result amazing :nazi: and very influential to many bands :nazi:, but it was released in 1993, a year in which albums like "Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism", "Under a Funeral Moon" or "Tol Cormpt Norz" (Formatting) were released, so this album meant nothing to the genre. And although this is not a bad album, it is ruined by the aforementioned overlong and boring monents Spelling).

(How is it that your other reviews are so much better composed than this one? It's really clunky, though I do see what you're trying to say. My main thought is, "Why bother?" My secondary thought is, "What gives?" There are grammatical errors and typos that don't appear in your other reviews. Did you proofread this? Even though they have errors as well, they're more carefully worked on. I'm thinking you were just lazy with this one. From the looks of it, I think you couldn't actually give a shit about this album.

I wouldn't spend much time working on the review, considering how boring you found it. If literally all you want to say is that it's mediocre, then tighten up the analysis, give it a good once over, and move on. Unfortunately, this is about as interesting a review as you make the album seem, and when both suck, we all lose. It's obvious that you can do better, both here and in a different piece altogether.)
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:10 am 
 

I changed and added a few things: (sorry for not removing the HTML tags this time)

Spoiler: show
With this album, <b>Arallu</b> have clearly proven themselves as one of the most unique black metal bands in Israel. Their mixture of the thrash, death, and black subgenres of metal on one hand and Arabic music from another is quite distinctive and genuine- which is something that most modern BM lacks. This time, the band have shifted their sound to be based on more thrashy and Levantine elements rather than the death and black ones that were more prominent in their former releases which were akin to the music of bands such as <b>Absu</b> and <b>Sarcofago</b>.

<i>Geniewar</i> starts with a middle eastern jam session, and as the ouds, darbukas, and flutes kick in you know that this album is one hell of a ride. This album is PACKED with middle eastern instrumentation, both with traditional Levantine and metal instruments. Riff wise, the album is clearly a black/thrash album with middle eastern influences- with every song blending these two genres perfectly and tastefully. Songs like <i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>, <i>Coronation</i>, and <i>Underworld Resistance</i> will make you start belly dancing before you even know it.

Like in every </b><b>Arallu</b> album, the atmosphere is raw, bestial, and uncultivated, in contrast to bands such as <b>Orphaned Land</b> and <b>Melechesh</b> which feature an atmospheric sound that isn't based in war metal. The drumming i shifts between typical blast bleats/thrash drumming to a more galloping rhythm, which is often accompanied by a really talented darbuka player. The harsh vocals have improved since their former albums, but they are more tamed and polished than the ones featured in their previous outputs. This thing doesn't interfere with the album's atmosphere, and fits well inside it.

The covers that are featured in this album are very unique, interesting, and provide some of the album's most unusual and intriguing moments. Except for the altered <i>Powerslave</i> cover, <i>Geniewar</i> features two covers of old Israeli war songs that were executed very originally and give a very different interpretation to the originals.<i>Giva't Hatachmoshet</i> is a song originally written on an accordion after the Six Day War, and <i>Hayalim Almonim</i> was the anthem of a Jewish underground resistance movement from the 1940's. Each song was executed very differently (with the first being played in a thrash/punk style and the second as a slow atmospheric epic)- which is also a notable trait of the album in general. These covers represent the general idea of the album, which is mostly based on Mesopotamian (<i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>, <i>Coronation</i>) and war themes (<i>Tzook Eitan</i> which was written in the time of Operation Protective Edge, (or Tzook Eitan in Hebrew), <i>Underworld Resistance</i>, <i>Bloodshed Around<i>), and whatever <I>Metal Troops 666</i> is about. The production isn't a problem in this album too- as it was professionally made and mixed.

There are two major flaws in this album. The first is the annoying spoken word verses which were read by some guy with a really annoying voice, and the second is the lyrics. The lyrics are poorly written, both content-wise and grammatically, and even the lyrics on the Hebrew passages on some songs are just straightforwardly stupid. Here's an example:

<i>"It's a wonderful view
The desert land turns to Iceland</i> (Iceland? For real?)
<i>Jerusalem become frozen as the temperature falls
The Desert sands become ice
The sun heat become dust!"</i> (<i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>)

In conclusion: except for the two major flaws listed above, this album is near flawless and is definitely one of the best metal albums of 2015. Very recommended.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 2:16 pm 
 

raspberrysoda wrote:
I changed and added a few things: (sorry for not removing the HTML tags this time)

It's actually better to have them there. Saves me time in asking that they be put in, plus saves you time in hunting them down. We both win.

Spoiler: show

Overall: Nice changes. Formatting and punctuation still need some sorting out, but it's already better. Proofread carefully; the more exacting you are at first, the easier it becomes to do it automatically. Look up anything you aren't sure about, like hyphenation use, etc.)



With this album, <b>Arallu</b> have clearly proven themselves as one of the most unique black metal bands in Israel. Their mixture of the thrash, death, and black subgenres of metal on one hand and Arabic music from another is quite distinctive and genuine- which :nazi: (No hyphen. Just use a comma.) is something that most modern BM lacks. This time, the band have shifted their sound :nazi: ("the band has shifted its" or "Arallu have shifted their sound." It's awkward, I know) to be based on more thrashy and Levantine elements (Not a common term, so consider adding an i.e.) rather than the death and black ones that were more prominent in their former releases which :nazi: ("that." Look on Purdue OWL for explanations about the differences between "that" and "which." It's worth taking the time to sort that out) were akin to the music of bands such as <b>Absu</b> and <b>Sarcofago</b>. (Band names don't have to be in bold. I find the practice weird. When did that become a convention? I've seen other reviewers do it, too. It makes me befuddled and grandpa-feeling.

<i>Geniewar</i> starts with a middle eastern jam session, and as the ouds, darbukas, and flutes kick in you know that this album is one hell of a ride. This album is PACKED with middle eastern instrumentation, both with traditional Levantine and metal instruments. Riff wise, the album is clearly a black/thrash album with middle eastern influences- with :nazi: (Same hyphenation error.) every song blending these two genres perfectly and tastefully. Songs like <i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>, <i>Coronation</i>, and <i>Underworld Resistance</i> (Formatting. Songs get quotations, album titles get italicized) will make you start belly dancing before you even know it.

Like in every </b><b>Arallu</b> album, the atmosphere is raw, bestial, and uncultivated, in contrast to bands such as <b>Orphaned Land</b> and <b>Melechesh</b> which feature an atmospheric sound that isn't based in war metal. The drumming i shifts between typical blast bleats/thrash drumming to a more galloping rhythm, which is often accompanied by a really talented darbuka player. The harsh vocals have improved since their former albums, but they are more tamed and polished than the ones featured in their previous outputs. This thing doesn't interfere with the album's atmosphere, and fits well inside it. (It's good to point this out, but the sentence sort of hangs out there awkwardly. See where you might be able to integrate the same information in a smoother way.)

The covers that are featured in this album are very unique, interesting, and provide some of the album's most unusual and intriguing moments. Except for the altered <i>Powerslave</i> cover (Formatting?), <i>Geniewar</i> features two covers of old Israeli war songs that were executed very originally and give a very different interpretation to the originals.<i>Giva't Hatachmoshet</i> is a song originally written on an accordion after the Six Day War, and <i>Hayalim Almonim</i> was the anthem of a Jewish underground resistance movement from the 1940's. Each song was executed very differently (with the first being played in a thrash/punk style and the second as a slow atmospheric epic)- which is also a notable trait of the album in general. These covers represent the general idea of the album, which is mostly based on Mesopotamian (<i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>, <i>Coronation</i>) and war themes (<i>Tzook Eitan</i> which was written in the time of Operation Protective Edge, (or Tzook Eitan in Hebrew), <i>Underworld Resistance</i>, <i>Bloodshed Around<i>), and whatever <I>Metal Troops 666</i> is about. The production isn't a problem in this album too- as it was professionally made and mixed. (Niiiiiice. Thanks for embellishing that. Historical context and tidbits like this will add flavor that can be hard to come by otherwise. One of the things I like best about it is that you thought to mention these covers. Unique, independent touches like that contribute to voice and personal enjoyment, also. Keep an eye out for more opportunities for this as you progress.)

There are two major flaws in this album. The first is the annoying spoken word verses which were read by some guy with a really annoying voice, and the second is the lyrics. The lyrics are poorly written, both content-wise and grammatically, and even the lyrics on the Hebrew passages on some songs are just straightforwardly stupid. Here's an example:

<i>"It's a wonderful view
The desert land turns to Iceland</i> (Iceland? For real?)
<i>Jerusalem become frozen as the temperature falls
The Desert sands become ice
The sun heat become dust!"</i> (<i>From the Desert to the Ice</i>)

In conclusion: except for the two major flaws listed above, this album is near flawless and is definitely one of the best metal albums of 2015. Very recommended.
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Last edited by Grave_Wyrm on Mon Oct 03, 2016 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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raspberrysoda
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 4:51 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 3:01 pm 
 

Thanks a lot G_W. I uploaded the final draft of the review and it's enqueued now.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 3:16 pm 
 

:metal:
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stainedclass2112
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Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:08 pm 
 

Alright Grave_Wyrm (or anyone who'd like to help, but it seems like G_W is the king of the feedback thread), I've had this in the works for a little while now, and it'll complete my set of reviews for Overkill's first 5. I jumped the gun big-time in this thread last time, but I'm going to leave this here and work it through a bunch of times. I'm going to start really putting some effort into these from now on. Hopefully this can be the start of the next phase of sc2112. Anyway, The Years of Decay, here you go:

Spoiler: show
Often praised by 'Kill fans and metalheads alike for its inclusion of bonafide thrash classics like "Elimination" or "I Hate", Overkill's <i>The Years of Decay</i> is considered by many to be their best record. It's a top 3 for me, but not quite their best; it does have some secret weapons that set it apart from most other thrash albums though. From the impression you get from the first few songs, you'd expect this album to be your straightforward, 80's thrash metal album, but really this thing packs a lot more than just your usual thrash elements. <i>The Years of Decay</i>'s genetic makeup is infused with a heaping spoonful of a few things that not everybody else was adding in their trash recipes, most notably things like doom metal and even some experimental leanings.

Of course, this is still a through-and-through thrash album a-la the almighty Overkill, but the stylistic experimentation and unusual ideas run abound on this thing. In some cases (especially on the last half of the album) you could almost warrant calling this progressive thrash, but in others, like on the burly "Skullkrusher" or "Who Tends the Fire", the album goes into full-blown doom mode. The entire album possesses a sort of dark energy and in some cases a huge, looming atmosphere that makes for a very menacing listen. Bobby G's riffs are all extremely tense and occasionally energetic yet still possessive of the signature swing his earlier riffs had. The album is like a musical melting pot swirling together various elements of thrash metal with other, darker, heavier forms of the genre.

The listener expecting 9 copies of "The Wrecking Crew", may be a bit disappointed, but the musical experimentation on this works wonderfully. The band manages to keep things straightforward enough to fit the thrash bill yet simultaneously experimental enough to keep things unique and interesting without derailing. Songs like "Evil Never Dies" with its many different riff sections, musical change-ups, and frequent tempo shifts or "Who Tends the Fire" (my personal favorite on the album and a top 5 Overkill song for me) with its eerie buildup, that pounding, chugging verse riff, and even that wild section in the middle showcase Overkill really firing on all cylinders not only as a thrash metal band, but as musicians. Everything from Bobby Blitz' ace vocal job to D.D.'s vicious bass work is on point, not to mention Bobby G's wizardry and Sid's awesome drum work.

As previously mentioned, this is indeed in the top 3 of Overkill's jewels on their prestigious crown, but it is in third place behind <i>Taking Over</i> and the mighty <i>Horrorscope</i> for a few reasons. Primarily, there's a few spots on this album in which the album seems to lose focus. For example, I find that that the beginning and ending of "Time to Kill" could've been shaved down a bit or the weird little intro to "Skullkrusher" done away with as these sections do indeed disrupt the flow a bit. I also would have favored a bit crunchier or crisper production job but in the end it does fit the doomy feel of the album quite well. These are, of course, my minor nitpicks, but they are reasons why this beast isn't quite the best.

Overall, <i>The Years of Decay</i> is a wicked concoction of the attitude-laced thrash Overkill were playing just prior to this, some meaner, heavier, darker influences, and even a pinch of experimentation. After hearing the good but shaky <i>Under the Influence</i>, you wouldn't quite expect them to take this stylistic turn, but they did, and it worked very well. They'd hit damn near perfection a couple years after this despite losing their axe-man but that doesn't mean that this album is not absolutely essential. In the sea of awesome 80's thrash records, this really is one of my favorites and it shouldn't be missed. I'd recommend digging into <i>Horrorscope</i> and <i>Taking Over</i> before this one though. All in all, this album rules and is a staple of the Overkill canon as well as thrash metal's as a whole.
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Last edited by stainedclass2112 on Tue Oct 04, 2016 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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~Guest 366798
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 8:28 pm 
 

My review for Asspera's EP, Pija, got rejected due to my poor grammar, so if anyone can give me a hand it would be great.

Here's the review:
Spoiler: show
For me, Asspera is a very awesome band, I just love these guys, I love their music, their live performance, and of course, this EP.

What makes Asspera such an excellent band, in my opinion, are mainly it's members (and the music, of course), they are great people, they have big hearts, most of their concerts are for benefit homeless people and that stuff, they make metal for love, not for fame or money, and also they have excellent quality to play instruments, and it's notoriously demonstrated in this EP and all the releases of this band so far.

Pija is the second EP release by Asspera, in this EP we have 4 awesome songs, and that has the characteristics touches of Asspera: lots of fun and weird backing vocals, hand-breaking solos, harsh vocals, and the unforgettable humorous lyrics.

The composition of the songs themselves are based on heavy (and sometimes melodic) guitar riffs, rough voices, distorted bass and awesome drums with many blast beats. The structure of the songs is unconventional, it's a different structure to most of the groove metal songs if I'm not mistaken; the songs usually start with the verses, then they go to the chorus, then we can hear a guitar solo and the chorus again. The songs are coupled with the awesome drums of Nicolas Polo, this guy is talented, I can say that; the drums have a lot of different bases and fills, the drummer always finds a way to stick to every moment of the songs; the heavier parts, the bridges, the choruses and just every part of the songs. He almost always uses the double bass drum ("Me voy a hacer pipi" have lots of blasts), except in the less heavier parts (as the solo of "Directo al tacho"). He is more softer in "Pogo al corazón", mainly because this song is more about melody and not about aggressiveness. We have 3,14 J on bass duties, he is a good bassist, not the best, but he knows how to play the bass. Lamentably, I didn't hear the bass a lot actually, you can hear it a bit in "Directo al tacho" or "Pogo al corazón", but it's almost always muted by the other instruments, but from I was able to hear, the bass just follows the guitar in a lower tone.

We find Rockardo Asspero in guitars, one of the best guitarists I've ever heard, really, this guy is a god playing guitar in my opinion, he has a high level of technique and some virtuosity, the solos are full of shredding, and the riffs are kinda repetitive, I think he doesn't use more than 4 or 5 chords per song, anyway, his ability to compose riffs is excellent. There are some breakdowns in some parts (mainly before the guitar solos), you can find breakdowns like these in almost every Asspera song. And we have <b>Richard Asspero</b> on vocals; He uses a harsh voice, almost guttural, he sometimes screams in a very funny way, and when he sings, you can feel his hate in his voice, something like 'f*** everyone'. In some parts (as the final chorus of "Me voy a hacer pipi"), he shows his most brutal voice so far, a metalcore-ish scream, not really a guttural voice, but very close. We can find a lot of backing vocals, most of them saying weird and funny things, and some choruses too, sometimes those backing vocals can be annoying, since they don't really add something to the song, just humour.

The lyrics are mainly about sociopolitical issues, "Pija" explains the shit that is the day to day life and the society, I see "Directo al tacho" as a critic of today's education system in this country, being that most of the kids are snitching school, smoking in the bathrooms, cheating to pass exams and that kind of stuff. "Me voy a hacer pipí" is a cover of a children's song which can be translated as "I'm going to pee", this is obviously a heavy metal version of the song with the characteristic sound of Asspera, this version of the songs isn't for kids actually. And we have "Pogo al corazón", this one a more melodic song, which is dedicated to Geronimo Pastore (R.I.P. 2010), drummer of the band until his deah, this song is very significant for the band and their fans, and they play it at the end of all their gigs.

This album has some awesome things, as the opening riff of "Directo al tacho", a very catchy nu metal style riff, or the backing riff in the chorus (or bridge, not sure of what is that part) of "Pija", the riff of "Pogo al corazón" is very catchy too, and the guitar solos, god, they're just awesome, I'll never get bored of hearing them.

The audio quality is excellent, everything is perfectly mixed and mastered, there is not a single mistake in the songs, they are recorded and done very professionally.

In my opinion, this EP is a great piece of music, it's just awesome, I would recommend it to anyone who likes groove metal, really, I would recommend it to anyone who likes metal, it's just perfect, is a mix between aggressiveness and melody, it's just awesome.

Interesting thing: If you wait like 2 minutes after the end of the track 3, you can hear a somewhat humorous additional song, just drums and werid vocals, it's not very long, just 10 or 15 seconds.


Thanks for any help.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:20 am 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
but it seems like G_W is the king of the feedback thread

Heh. Hardly. I'm a citizen.

I'll get back to the review itself later, but I was on a smelly, noisy train and I had no problems reading it. I'm looking forward to the rest of the series, particularly if you can maintain the thoughtful treatment of each of the albums. Consider themes that you can use to tie the series into a general cohesion, and ways you can avoid the pitfalls of redundancy as you move forward with the others. It looks like a lot of the jumpiness/anxiety has gone, and we're left with a writer who seems quite comfortable. Keep up the good momentum.

In the meantime, I'm curious if you have any notes you'd give to yourself.
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Erosion of Humanity
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Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:12 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 12:28 pm 
 

MetalMuxxer wrote:
My review for Asspera's EP, Pija, got rejected due to my poor grammar, so if anyone can give me a hand it would be great.

Here's the review:
Spoiler: show
For me, Asspera is a very awesome band, I just love these guys, I love their music, their live performance, and of course, this EP.

What makes Asspera such an excellent band, in my opinion, are mainly it's members (and the music, of course), they are great people, they have big hearts, most of their concerts are for benefit homeless people and that stuff, they make metal for love, not for fame or money, and also they have excellent quality to play instruments, and it's notoriously demonstrated in this EP and all the releases of this band so far.

Pija is the second EP release by Asspera, in this EP we have 4 awesome songs, and that has the characteristics touches of Asspera: lots of fun and weird backing vocals, hand-breaking solos, harsh vocals, and the unforgettable humorous lyrics.

The composition of the songs themselves are based on heavy (and sometimes melodic) guitar riffs, rough voices, distorted bass and awesome drums with many blast beats. The structure of the songs is unconventional, it's a different structure to most of the groove metal songs if I'm not mistaken; the songs usually start with the verses, then they go to the chorus, then we can hear a guitar solo and the chorus again. The songs are coupled with the awesome drums of Nicolas Polo, this guy is talented, I can say that; the drums have a lot of different bases and fills, the drummer always finds a way to stick to every moment of the songs; the heavier parts, the bridges, the choruses and just every part of the songs. He almost always uses the double bass drum ("Me voy a hacer pipi" have lots of blasts), except in the less heavier parts (as the solo of "Directo al tacho"). He is more softer in "Pogo al corazón", mainly because this song is more about melody and not about aggressiveness. We have 3,14 J on bass duties, he is a good bassist, not the best, but he knows how to play the bass. Lamentably, I didn't hear the bass a lot actually, you can hear it a bit in "Directo al tacho" or "Pogo al corazón", but it's almost always muted by the other instruments, but from I was able to hear, the bass just follows the guitar in a lower tone.

We find Rockardo Asspero in guitars, one of the best guitarists I've ever heard, really, this guy is a god playing guitar in my opinion, he has a high level of technique and some virtuosity, the solos are full of shredding, and the riffs are kinda repetitive, I think he doesn't use more than 4 or 5 chords per song, anyway, his ability to compose riffs is excellent. There are some breakdowns in some parts (mainly before the guitar solos), you can find breakdowns like these in almost every Asspera song. And we have <b>Richard Asspero</b> on vocals; He uses a harsh voice, almost guttural, he sometimes screams in a very funny way, and when he sings, you can feel his hate in his voice, something like 'f*** everyone'. In some parts (as the final chorus of "Me voy a hacer pipi"), he shows his most brutal voice so far, a metalcore-ish scream, not really a guttural voice, but very close. We can find a lot of backing vocals, most of them saying weird and funny things, and some choruses too, sometimes those backing vocals can be annoying, since they don't really add something to the song, just humour.

The lyrics are mainly about sociopolitical issues, "Pija" explains the shit that is the day to day life and the society, I see "Directo al tacho" as a critic of today's education system in this country, being that most of the kids are snitching school, smoking in the bathrooms, cheating to pass exams and that kind of stuff. "Me voy a hacer pipí" is a cover of a children's song which can be translated as "I'm going to pee", this is obviously a heavy metal version of the song with the characteristic sound of Asspera, this version of the songs isn't for kids actually. And we have "Pogo al corazón", this one a more melodic song, which is dedicated to Geronimo Pastore (R.I.P. 2010), drummer of the band until his deah, this song is very significant for the band and their fans, and they play it at the end of all their gigs.

This album has some awesome things, as the opening riff of "Directo al tacho", a very catchy nu metal style riff, or the backing riff in the chorus (or bridge, not sure of what is that part) of "Pija", the riff of "Pogo al corazón" is very catchy too, and the guitar solos, god, they're just awesome, I'll never get bored of hearing them.

The audio quality is excellent, everything is perfectly mixed and mastered, there is not a single mistake in the songs, they are recorded and done very professionally.

In my opinion, this EP is a great piece of music, it's just awesome, I would recommend it to anyone who likes groove metal, really, I would recommend it to anyone who likes metal, it's just perfect, is a mix between aggressiveness and melody, it's just awesome.

Interesting thing: If you wait like 2 minutes after the end of the track 3, you can hear a somewhat humorous additional song, just drums and werid vocals, it's not very long, just 10 or 15 seconds.


Thanks for any help.


Just at a quick glance you need to learn proper sentence structure. You have ridiculously long run-on sentences here. Instead of using like 15 commas use two or three periods.
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2016 8:00 pm 
 

Grave_Wyrm wrote:
I'll get back to the review itself later, but I was on a smelly, noisy train and I had no problems reading it. I'm looking forward to the rest of the series, particularly if you can maintain the thoughtful treatment of each of the albums. Consider themes that you can use to tie the series into a general cohesion, and ways you can avoid the pitfalls of redundancy as you move forward with the others. It looks like a lot of the jumpiness/anxiety has gone, and we're left with a writer who seems quite comfortable. Keep up the good momentum.

In the meantime, I'm curious if you have any notes you'd give to yourself.


Notes for myself? Well, on this review, I'm actually pleased with how the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs turned out. I think my intro paragraph is decent, but it could use some cleaning up. Same applies to the closing, it's a bit clunky. I'll work them through a little bit, but the final body paragraph is the one I'm really not happy with. I do list my only problems with the album in that paragraph, but to my mind it feels a bit lacking. I've had this problem before - a decent first few paragraphs positively describing the album but then a negative paragraph trainwreck. It's so bad that I even prepare for it every time. "Alright, I think that puts things nicely. Now, lets see if I can whip up a passable final paragraph." I think I need to change up my plans when it comes to these.

And right now, I'm taking a break with my Buckethead series. I'm going to go tackle a bunch of my favorite and not-so-favorite classics to really hone my writing down before I continue all that.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:03 am 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
the final body paragraph is the one I'm really not happy with. I do list my only problems with the album in that paragraph, but to my mind it feels a bit lacking. I've had this problem before - a decent first few paragraphs positively describing the album but then a negative paragraph trainwreck. It's so bad that I even prepare for it every time.

Something flaccid this way comes. Yeah, I see what you mean. I think it's mostly in the transitions. If you can find ways to relax into saying what you dislike without going too far, I think it gives the review a good ballast. I like that you're starting to use fewer words in your descriptions. It makes it much easier to read, and your descriptions have more room to unfold. I guess that boils down to, "you're making better use of the space," if that's not too art-douche a phrase.

As far as the Buckethead reviews, I think they would benefit from an almost formalized format. I said that they were same-y, but don't take that the wrong way. I don't mean inimaginatively uniform, I mean reliable. If you give them a trimmed, neat format with very little fat, I'm sure you'll find rhythmic I liked the recurring theme of Bucketbot and other in-group terms like that. It might be cool if they sounded almost episodic (without getting too gimmicky); it kind of reminded me of short kids shows, which gave it a nice nostalgic feel to it.
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 12:18 pm 
 

You saying that about the Buckethead reviews shows that I'm actually accomplishing what I'm trying to do with them, at least for the most part. I want them to go together without being a "Buckethead review: part 1 of 280" type thing. I go for a bit of a, can I say, cartoonish feel on those to not only fit the whole "bucketheadland" charade but to seem like a guide. Not as a in-depth reviewer going deep into each one, but as a tour guide pointing out what you'll find on this pike or that pike. I try to tie in lots of references, phrases, and those little terms like Bucketbot. I think if I can apply what you're saying and really strengthen them all up as a whole, I'll be able to finish them all off with a bit more impact. I'll go put together some positive and negative pike reviews and bring them here, along with a review of one of my favorite pre-pikes I've been working on.


And a revised version of that Overkill review will be posted later if I can find the time.
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 8:11 pm 
 

With a wicked hurricane heading straight my way, college is cancelled and I've got a fudge-ton of time on my hands. So, here's my The Years of Decay review V.2. I trimmed the awkwardness out of that final body, intro, and outro paragraphs.

Spoiler: show
<i>The Years of Decay</i> receives a lot of praise from thrash fans, and many consider it to be Overkill's best. It's a top 3 for me, but not quite their best; it does have some secret weapons that set it apart from most other thrash albums though. From the impression you get from the first few songs, you'd expect this album to be your straightforward, 80's thrash metal album, but really this thing packs a lot more than just your usual thrash elements. <i>The Years of Decay</i>'s genetic makeup is infused with a heaping spoonful of a few things that not everybody else was adding in their trash recipes, most notably things like doom metal and even some experimental leanings.

Of course, this is still a through-and-through thrash album a-la the almighty Overkill, but the stylistic experimentation and unusual ideas run abound on this thing. In some cases (especially on the last half of the album) you could almost warrant calling this progressive thrash, but in others, like on the burly "Skullkrusher" or "Who Tends the Fire", the album goes into full-blown doom mode. The entire album possesses a sort of dark energy and in some cases a huge, looming atmosphere that makes for a very menacing listen. Bobby G's riffs are all extremely tense and occasionally energetic yet still possessive of the signature swing his earlier riffs had. The album is like a musical melting pot swirling together various elements of thrash metal with other, darker, heavier forms of the genre.

The listener expecting 9 copies of "The Wrecking Crew", may be a bit disappointed, but the musical experimentation on this works wonderfully. The band manages to keep things straightforward enough to fit the thrash bill yet simultaneously experimental enough to keep things unique and interesting without derailing. Songs like "Evil Never Dies" with its many different riff sections, musical change-ups, and frequent tempo shifts or "Who Tends the Fire" (my personal favorite on the album and a top 5 Overkill song for me) with its eerie buildup, that pounding, chugging verse riff, and even that wild section in the middle showcase Overkill really firing on all cylinders not only as a thrash metal band, but as musicians. Everything from Bobby Blitz' ace vocal job to D.D.'s vicious bass work is on point, not to mention Bobby G's wizardry and Sid's awesome drum work.

<i>The Years of Decay</i> does indeed pack all of these goodies such as advanced songwriting or more diverse influences into one beefy metal meal that manages to cover more areas of the metal food pyramid than you'd expect, but it does suffer from a little bit of extra musical fat that keeps it from really stealing the throne of Overkill's discography. There are a few moments that beg your attention, but in a bad way. The beginning and ending of "Time to Kill" or the weird little intro to "Skullkrusher" in particular make you question their inclusion on the album. I also would have favored a bit crunchier or crisper production job but in the end it does fit the doomy feel of the album quite well. These are, of course, my minor nitpicks, but they are reasons why this beast isn't quite the best. With just a bit more streamlining in the writing department, this album would perhaps rival <i>Horrorscope</i>.

Overall, <i>The Years of Decay</i> is a wicked concoction of the attitude-laced thrash Overkill were playing just prior to this, some meaner, heavier, darker influences, and even a pinch of experimentation. After hearing the good but shaky <i>Under the Influence</i>, you wouldn't quite expect them to take this stylistic turn, but they did, and it worked very well. They'd hit damn near perfection a couple years after this despite losing their axe-man but that doesn't mean that this album is not absolutely essential. In the sea of awesome 80's thrash records, this really is one of my favorites and it shouldn't be missed. While I'd recommend digging into <i>Horrorscope</i> and <i>Taking Over</i> before this one, this album rules and is a staple of the Overkill canon as well as thrash metal's as a whole.


I'm wondering if I should cut the "yous" and "yours" out of it. If it doesn't hurt the review, then I'll leave 'em be.
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It will make you piss in your goddamn pants. It has influences from thrash, grindcore, crossover, hardcore punk, and RUDOLPH THE FUCKING RED NOSED DEER

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Grave_Wyrm
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Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 1:03 pm 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
With a wicked hurricane heading straight my way, ... The Years of Decay

Stay safe.

Spoiler: show
(Welcome to the Hobbyist's Threshold. You can either (a) submit it, or (b) let it settle before another level-of-finish treatment. My notes are only relevant if you want to continue working on it. It's decently organized; the strong outline provides adequate information and description. However, communication is irregular and thoughts get tangled.)


<i>The Years of Decay</i> receives a lot of praise from thrash fans, and many consider it to be Overkill's best. It's a top 3 for me, but not quite their best; it does have some secret weapons that set it apart from most other thrash albums though.

vs.
(Economy of language that preserves original voice.)
<i>The Years of Decay</i> receives a lot of praise from thrash fans, and many consider it to be Overkill's best. It's top 3 for me; some of its secret weapons set it apart from most other thrash albums.


From the impression you get from the first few songs, you'd expect this album to be your straightforward, 80's thrash metal album, but really this thing packs a lot more than just your usual thrash elements. <i>The Years of Decay</i>'s genetic makeup is infused with a heaping spoonful of a few things (Confusing; imagery is unclear) that not everybody else was adding in their trash recipes (Hillarity ensues. A typo that won't be caught by spell check.) , most notably things like doom metal and even some experimental leanings.

Of course, this is still a through-and-through thrash album [u]a-la :nazi: the almighty Overkill,[/u] (You're right that this means "in the style of," but as far as I know, it's to be used when one person is using the style of another -- e.g., Vasaeleth write cavernous death metal a la Incantation.) but the stylistic experimentation and unusual ideas run abound :nazi: on this thing. In some cases (especially on the last half of the album) you could almost warrant :nazi: calling this progressive thrash, but in others, like on the burly "Skullkrusher" or "Who Tends the Fire", the album goes into full-blown doom mode. The entire album possesses a sort of dark energy and in some cases a huge, looming atmosphere that makes for a very menacing listen. Bobby G's riffs are all extremely tense and occasionally energetic yet still possessive of the signature swing his earlier riffs had. The album is like a musical melting pot swirling together various elements of thrash metal with other, darker, heavier forms of the genre.

(- Apart from the grammar points, the longer sentences work comparatively well in this paragraph. They are better focused on their topic; the flow is more fluid and directed.
- "sort of dark energy" is a good opportunity for improving descriptors.
- Mind your spacing: one space after a period.
- Consider elaborating on "progressive thrash."
- Transitions within a paragraph are really important. If the transition is too sharp, it reads like a chage in topic and internal logic would call for a new paragraph. Phrasing, organization, and mechanics all need attention. )



The listener expecting 9 copies of "The Wrecking Crew", may (Who? Also, no comma) be a bit disappointed, but the musical experimentation on this works wonderfully. The (Spacing) band manages to keep things straightforward enough to fit the thrash bill yet :nazi: simultaneously experimental enough to keep things unique and interesting without derailing. Songs like "Evil Never Dies" with its many different riff sections, musical change-ups, and frequent tempo shifts or "Who Tends the Fire"(my personal favorite on the album and a top 5 Overkill song for me) with its eerie buildup, that pounding, chugging verse riff, and even that wild section in the middle showcase Overkill really firing on all cylinders not only as a thrash metal band, but as musicians. (This sentence is like a tapeworm in the paragraph's intestines: it bloats the abdomen and hoards the nutrients.) Everything from Bobby Blitz' ace vocal job to D.D.'s vicious bass work is on point, not to mention Bobby G's wizardry and Sid's awesome drum work. (An example of superlatives not being very descriptive.)

(Mechanically problematic. Unfortunate, since all the information is good. It reminds me of times I've packed for a trip, but I don't properly arrange the stuff I need, and my shoes are taking up way more space than they should, which they always do, and really I just need to upgrade to a new roll-aboard. If you read it out loud, I'm sure you'll see what I mean immediately.)


<i>The Years of Decay</i> does indeed pack all of these goodies such as advanced songwriting or more diverse influences into one beefy metal meal that manages to cover more areas of the metal food pyramid than you'd expect, but it does suffer from a little bit of extra musical fat that keeps it from really stealing the throne of Overkill's discography. There are a few moments that beg your attention, but in a bad way. The beginning and ending of "Time to Kill" or the weird little intro to "Skullkrusher" in particular make you question their inclusion on the album. I also would have favored a bit crunchier or crisper production job but in the end it does fit the doomy feel of the album quite well. These are, of course, my minor nitpicks, but they are reasons why this beast isn't quite the best. With just a bit more streamlining in the writing department, this album would perhaps rival <i>Horrorscope</i>.

(The topic sentence here is almost a third of paragraph. You're probably seeing where I'm coming from with the phrasing by now.)


Overall, <i>The Years of Decay</i> is a wicked concoction of the attitude-laced thrash Overkill were playing just prior to this, some meaner, heavier, darker influences, and even a pinch of experimentation. After hearing the good but shaky <i>Under the Influence</i>, you wouldn't quite expect them to take this stylistic turn, but they did, and it worked very well. They'd hit damn near perfection a couple years after this despite losing their axe-man but that doesn't mean that this album is not absolutely essential. In the sea of awesome 80's thrash records, this really is one of my favorites and it shouldn't be missed. While I'd recommend digging into <i>Horrorscope</i> and <i>Taking Over</i> before this one, this album rules and is a staple of the Overkill canon as well as thrash metal's as a whole.


(Work toward economy of language and internal clarity. See Strunk & White's The Elements of Style.)


stainedclass2112 wrote:
I'm wondering if I should cut the "yous" and "yours" out of it. If it doesn't hurt the review, then I'll leave 'em be.

Style is up to you. It's more important to have your commas sorted out.
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 4:10 pm 
 

Good Lord that review was full of more problems than I thought. I'm not going to let it slide like that. V.3 will be posted later, hopefully I won't need to take it even further. I'm trying to really set the bar high for myself and start off a new phase with strength, so I won't let those little problems run free. Thanks again, G_W, hopefully I'm not becoming a nuisance.
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 08, 2016 5:14 pm 
 

Not at all. Keep up the hard work. Every draft shows improvements, and that's the entire point.
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Fischer777
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:23 pm 
 

Hi everyone! I wrote a review for Sonata Arctica - The Ninth Hour, and it was rejected. Could you help me to improve the draft?
Thanks!

RECOVERING THEIR ARCTICAL MAGIC
Rating 82%

Since 2007's Unia, Sonata Arctica fans kept skeptical with what each new release could offer. The band's sound mutation was a rollercoaster going through the dark epic The Days Of Grays, the hard and experimental Stones Grow Her Name, and the melodic and melancholic Pariah's Child.

As then, there wasn't big expectations about the new album, and the two first shared singles, as well good songs, didn't finish to please the old school fans.

However, it's a relief that the whole album keep their predecessor ways, and surely they improved a lot.

The remarkable spots in this album can be evaluated through four points:

1- Early 2000's era influences: Although the first two tracks have the typical soft-melodic modern Sonata Arctica sound elements (still good songs). Some tracks seems to be written in Winterheart's Guild and Reckoning Night eras. Fairytale is the first case:
Powerful and emphatic, it sounds like Winterheart's Guild's Silver Tongue. Also with touches of the classic Sonata power metal patterns we find Till Death's Done Us Apart and Rise a Night. The first one with epicness and theathrical passages, and the second ones with an 100% power metal identity (classic double bass and fast harpsichord keyboards).

The Ninth Hour also presents nostalgic atmospheres with mid-tempo singing. A mix of Gravenimage, Broken and The Boy Who Want To Be a Real Puppet aura can be found in Fly, Navigate, Communicate.

2- Better ballads songrwitting: I was surprised in this topic. We Are What We Are and Candle Lawns results more than satisfactory. With a clear Tallulah-style, both songs beats by far the weak Pariah's Child ballad, Love. With a simply but effective melodies, and catchy choruses, this topic marks a level up from the previous album.
Only Among The Shooting Stars is a dispensable track. Absolutely forgettable.

3- Another great 10-minute symphonic opus: The most expected (and at same time, controversial) track probably is the second part of the 2004 epic Black Pearl, White Oceans. It really was a risky move. The original song was a truly masterpiece; the fact of making a second part would fans to expect another opus like that. It didn't happen of course. Then, this was a bad effort? Not at all. Musically, By The Grace Of The Ocean sounds more like a second part of Larger Than Life. A mid-tempo epic, with a magical melodic phrase chorus and a well nuanced orchestral arrangements results on a memorable song, although it is substantially different than the first part.

4- The mix: The weak part. Still better than Pariah's Child, the band should improve in this topic. Vocal arrangements and rhythm guitars sounds so distant, and drums still sound a bit plastic.

After 3 or 4 listens, it's more than clear that The Ninth Hour is the post-Unia album with the stronger influences from Sonata's 2003-04 era. It comes like a fresh air in the Sonata's history, as a perfect blend of 100% Sonata Arctica sound.

Not their best album, but definitely another step in their right direction.

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Metantoine
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 3:39 pm 
 

Well, your English is super clunky. Sentences like this one are definitely not acceptable as far as English is concerned:

Quote:
As then, there wasn't big expectations about the new album, and the two first shared singles, as well good songs, didn't finish to please the old school fans.


I'm not totally sure about the format of the review (the four points) but that's a secondary concern.
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Erosion of Humanity
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:16 pm 
 

I'd get rid of the numbers, it doesn't look good or flow well. You can still make all those points without numbering them off.
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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 10:45 pm 
 

Fischer777 wrote:
Sonata Arctica - The Ninth Hour

Messrs. Canada and Humanity have pointed out the the main offenses. The content is pretty good, and the general outline has a decent flow. I liked how many comparisons you made to other albums, although it would help to include the names of the bands who produced them. Numbering your sections is unnecessary, since they're basically just paragraphs. That aside, if your formatting gets an overhaul and the language comprehension can be improved enough to clear the English hurdle, I'd say you're off to a decent start.
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HRZ
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 5:29 am 
 

Good day everyone. My review below was once rejected for capitalizing words that were not proper nouns. I fixed any I could find and resubmitted but it was rejected again since apparently I still missed something. I made sure only the band/person names and track titles are capitalized. I'd really appreciate it if you point out what I am still missing.

Spoiler: show
First I have to congratulate Epica for creating possibly their weakest album to date; this review is going to be a little bit harsh.

Where to start... I always considered Epica as a band whose albums were always nearly perfect with not even one single bad track in any of them; I definitely cannot say that about The Holographic Principle. After listening to this a few times and realizing that I simply cannot connect with their music anymore, I had to go back and revisit their older albums to see what went wrong.

Here is what went wrong: I always loved the fast keyboard in their tracks, not much of that exists in this album. I loved the female choir and their "battles" with the male choir, you don't hear that here. I loved Simone's high notes, yet she sounds like an amateur auditioning for a pop band in this album most of the time, especially with the cheesy voice-overs. The percussion is nonexistent, the double bass is gone, the orchestral sound gone with them...

The album starts with a truly mediocre intro "Eidola", followed by "Edge of the Blade" a.k.a. "The Story of Epica, Simone's Pop Career, and Cheesy Voice-overs" which is probably their weakest track of all time. It would have probably been better if they had put this track on the second CD alongside with the rest of the bonus tracks which nobody is going to listen to more than once. I tend to ignore the rest of the tracks until the riff in the third quarter of "Divide and Conquer" which changes the mood a little bit for the better. "Beyond the Matrix" is one of the better tracks of the album were you finally hear some fast guitars, keyboard, and strong (or some might say "happy") choir. The track would have been even better if they had just released it as an instrumental track without Mark and Simone's vocals...

The rest of the tracks can be best described as "OK" until the last few. "Dancing in a Hurricane" is the beginning of the effort that saves this album: an Arabic-themed track with some strong double bass and Simone actually putting some effort into her vocals. "Tear Down Your Walls" gives us a taste of the Latin choir, and even Simone's voice-overs start to makes sense in this track. The last track finally brings back most of what I always loved Epica for: strong choir, fast music, and Simone's high notes; probably the best track in the album (fun note: at 7:53 it sounds like Simone forgot the lyrics during production and they just went with it).

There isn't much to say about Mark's harsh vocals since he hasn't been doing such a great job in the last few albums anyway; he did some good harsh vocals in Epica's early albums, e.g. in "Consign to Oblivion: A New Age Dawns, Part III", but nothing special recently, and this album in no exception either. I also never care about lyrics, even though some consider that as one of Epica's strong points.

Despite all this, this album is in no way terrible; it is just that for Epica, the album is not that great especially since Simone is clearly not putting much effort in her vocals. She has the voice, she is not using it. All in all, if you prefer Epica's earlier albums, like me, you might not necessarily like this album since it is slower and less orchestral, but if you prefer their later work, you'll probably also like this.


P.S. If the problem is from "The Story of Epica, Simone's Pop Career, and Cheesy Voice-overs," that is supposed to be an alternative title for the "Edge of the Blade" track and that's why I capitalized the words in it.

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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:19 am 
 

It's really disjointed. Your thoughts are all over the place and almost every point you make only gets one or two sentences before it jerkily moves on to the next point. It's like we're talking about this album at a bar while a band is playing and you're drunk and distracted, and I'm sober and trying to listen to the band.

Read almost anyone else's reviews for comparison.
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HRZ
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:22 am 
 

Thank you for your input. I guess what you say is true and the reason for that is probably since I am trying to keep the review short and to the point. Others have already done lengthy reviews for the same album, I am mostly trying to offer an opinion from a different point of view. The issue at hand is some capitalization issue that I have missed. I was specifically instructed to post the review in this thread and get the issue resolved before submitting it again. I reckon I can edit the review later and make it more concrete if it is accepted, but without doing what the moderator asked, it will not be accepted at all.

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Diamhea
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 7:54 am 
 

Actually, I see what you mean about that phrase being structured like a song title. Grave_Wyrm's recommendations are to help you improve, not necessarily make the review meet the minimum standard. That said the two "meat and potatoes" paragraphs are a glorified track-by-track rundown. Rework that and resubmit.
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HRZ
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:47 pm 
 

Okay, thank you for the clarification. I should think of a better way to write those parts and when I fixed it, I will resubmit the review.

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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 2:43 pm 
 

HRZ wrote:
Thank you for your input. I guess what you say is true and the reason for that is probably since I am trying to keep the review short and to the point.

Minimum standards are up to a moderator. From my perspective, the review has problems beyond the specific reasons it was rejected. Being short and to the point is a good objective. This review, however, isn't "to the point" because the point is difficult to identify. Your paragraphs aren't organized clearly and the general outline is tangled. The track-by-track nature of the latter half is also problematic. Formatting also needs work: songs get quotation marks, album titles get italicized. It looks like you got the capitalization errors taken care of, though.

I see what you're going for: a relatively brief, compact description that doesn't spend much time on any one thing. I think your objective is a good idea, but brief reviews can be difficult. If anything, it can be a lot shorter. Have a look at most of TheStormIRide's for an example of how to do short format effectively.
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MasterofAlchemy
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:41 am 
 

Hi! I also wrote a review for The Ninth Hour, new album from Sonata Arctica. But it was rejected twice, and I was advised to search for some help here. I'm not an very skilled english speaker, so I really would like to ask for your help for this review to be accepted! Glad for a topic like this exists. Tnx everyone!





Title: It's good to be slow!
Rate: 98%

Since Sonata Arctica is one of my all-time favorite power metal bands, as soon as the reviews for the album begun to pop out in the internet I started to read them, longing for the new album to come. And, like the other albums since Unia, what I've found was a lot of people complaining about how Sonata doesn't have fast songs, fast solos, fast guitars, fast drums and fast keyboards anymore, like in their first albums, painting this new one as an uninspired effort of a tired band. Seriously, is this all that matters? It pisses me off.

Not because I don't like fast songs or the first albums, quite the opposite. Ecliptica, Silence, Winterhearts and Reckoning are masterpieces, symbolizing much of what power metal was around 1999-2004, and I listen very often to all of them, even in chronological order, one by one, without skipping a single track. But Sonata is more than just double bass or guitar/keys shredding, and this new album came to prove that again.

There is much more than speed in the Sonata Arctica’s music, as a whole. Their albums, The Ninth Hour being not an exception, are a testimony of beauty, balance, passion and emotion. All of these elements were well used to craft another really good and exceptional album, maybe the better one since The Days of Grays.

It is needless to say about the album background. If you've been reading some reviews or band interviews so far, you may already be quite familiar with that. But its very worth mentioning that, as the lyrical concept seems to become more "complex" and variate in this work, the artwork seems to go in the same direction, showing us some kind of puzzle that holds the entire spirit of the album, besides being one of the most beautiful front covers of all of Sonata Arctica's albums.

For the music itself, it has the same thing every previous Sonata’s album has, which is, like mentioned, beauty, balance, passion and emotion. Although the first albums translated those elements with faster songs than the last ones, that elements are always present in a Sonata Arctica album.

The opening track, Closer to an Animal, is a good briefing of what's coming. It is a "slow", midpace song, focused much more on the vocal melodies and ambientation, being as well the lyrical heart of the album. All instruments, rhythm and lead, are combined into one big atmosphere, moving as one, and sometimes showing us some different nuances between them, to keep the entire system flowing.

Giving the first audition in the album, some songs will certainly be easier to remember than others, like Life, with its "La lala la lalalalalala" chorus, one of the best parts of the entire album; or the little harpsichord shred after the solos in Fairytale; the pessimistic lyrics of We Are What We Are; the theatrical performance in Till Death’s Done Us Apart (“ding dong, ding dong”), which is an instant classic; the fast Rise a Night, with more harpsichord and very melodic vocals; the progressive pace of Fly, Navigate, Communicate, with a really good scream from Tony Kakko, maybe the best he has ever recorded; or the little hint of the original song in White Pearl, Black Oceans part II.

But what I found to be more fantastic about Sonata Arctica is that even the songs that you don't pay much attention at first will slowly grow on you sometime later, without you even realizing that. Songs like Among the Shooting Stars, Candle Lawns and On the Faultline passed quite unnoticed at first. But in a week, I've found myself singing them while walking the street, doing my job, waiting an elevator or taking a shower. Their melodies are beautiful, and this make these songs so peculiar.

There would be many other considerations we could do here about each of the songs in this work, but I'm not very fond to the track-by-track reviewing. I'll not enter in the considerations about the mixing or production of the album too, because I don't have proper knowledge to do this, besides for me the album sounds great, with all the instruments and the voice very audible.

So, we have one of the best Sonata Arctica albums in years, being an excellent follow up to Pariah's Child and easily rivaling with Unia and The Days of Grays. It's hard to compare it with the albums prior to those, because the band has changed their music direction so drastically at this point, and that would be unfair to both sides. I still admire and love all phases of the band and enjoy every album they have released so far, with this new one being not an exception. It’s an album full of what made me like Sonata Arctica in the first place: beauty, balance, emotion and passion. I will be singing along these songs for a long, long while.

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Grave_Wyrm
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:57 pm 
 

MasterofAlchemy wrote:
The Ninth Hour, new album from Sonata Arctica.

Notes in spoiler.
Spoiler: show
(First off, kick back and relax with a couple/ten beers. Do not resubmit this until you get a green light from a mod here in this thread. With too many rejected submissions you stand a high chance of summoning the wrong kind of evil. We can work on this gradually over a series of drafts. I'll give notes in fairly broad strokes first and get into mechanics and smaller language issues later because it's going to change along the way.

It's up to you whether you ask questions first and then make a new draft, or post a new draft in this thread along with those questions. Either way, get comfy. You're camped out in this thread for a while, but you aren't alone.)



Title: It's good to be slow! (Damn right.)
Rate: 98% ("Score", technically, although I understand your word choice.)

Since Sonata Arctica is one of my all-time favorite power metal bands, as soon as the reviews for the album begun to pop out in the internet I started to read them, longing for the new album to come. And, like the other albums since Unia, what I've found was a lot of people complaining about how Sonata doesn't have fast songs, fast solos, fast guitars, fast drums and fast keyboards anymore, like in their first albums, painting this new one as an uninspired effort of a tired band. Seriously, is this all that matters? It pisses me off.

Not because I don't like fast songs or the first albums, quite the opposite. Ecliptica, Silence, Winterhearts and Reckoning are masterpieces, symbolizing much of what power metal was around 1999-2004, and I listen very often to all of them, even in chronological order, one by one, without skipping a single track. But Sonata is more than just double bass or guitar/keys shredding, and this new album came to prove that again.


(These two paragraphs use too many words to say a couple of things. They can be stripped way down to the bare essentials: the general opinion against which you blaspheme, the comparisons to turn-of-the-century power metal, and the point about speed so that it transitions nicely into the next paragraph. Also, album titles get italicized.)

There is much more than speed in the Sonata Arctica’s music , as a whole. Their albums, The Ninth Hour being not an exception, :nazi: (Confusing. What do you mean here?) are a testimony of (Also awkward language; "testament to?" Depends on what you're trying to say beauty, balance, passion and emotion. All of these elements were well used to craft another really good and exceptional album (Redundant), maybe the better one ("the best one"? Again, it depends on what you're trying to say) since The Days of Grays (Album title formatting).

It is needless to say about the album background. If you've been reading some reviews or band interviews so far, you may already be quite familiar with that. But its very worth mentioning that, as the lyrical concept seems to become more "complex" and variate in this work, the artwork seems to go in the same direction, showing us some kind of puzzle that holds the entire spirit of the album, besides being one of the most beautiful front covers of all of Sonata Arctica's albums.
(Here English becomes a problem. I'm not sure what you're talking about with "the album background." I think I understand that you're saying the concepts covered in the lyrics have gotten more complex and "varied" -not "variate"- and the cover reflects that, but the topic you start out with isn't related to the one you finish with, so that's also confusing.)

For the music itself, it has the same thing every previous Sonata’s album has, which is, like mentioned, beauty, balance, passion and emotion. (I think you've identified the main theme of this review. If you can rewrite it using these words as themes that you return to, you will end up with something far greater than you expect.) Although the first albums translated those elements with faster songs than the last ones, that elements are always present in a Sonata Arctica album. (How so? That's what you should explore in your next draft.)

The opening track, Closer to an Animal, is a good briefing of what's coming. It is a "slow", midpace song, focused much more on the vocal melodies and ambientation, being as well the lyrical heart of the album. All instruments, rhythm and lead, are combined into one big atmosphere, moving as one, and sometimes showing us some different nuances between them, to keep the entire system flowing.

Giving the first audition in the album (English. Can you describe your intention?), some songs will certainly be easier to remember than others, like Life, with its "La lala la lalalalalala" chorus (This doesn't read. I've never heard that song, and this just looks funny.), one of the best parts of the entire album; or the little harpsichord shred after the solos in Fairytale; the pessimistic lyrics of We Are What We Are; the theatrical performance in Till Death’s Done Us Apart (“ding dong, ding dong”), which is an instant classic; the fast Rise a Night, with more harpsichord and very melodic vocals; the progressive pace of Fly, Navigate, Communicate, with a really good scream from Tony Kakko, maybe the best he has ever recorded; or the little hint of the original song in White Pearl, Black Oceans part II. (This whole section is off target. It's a compacted track-by-track. You can describe all of the dynamics that these songs add to the album without listing them off like this. Think of the larger main themes, and relate your details to those. Also, track titles get quotation marks.)

But what I found to be more fantastic about Sonata Arctica is that even the songs that you don't pay much attention at first will slowly grow on you sometime later, without you even realizing that. Songs like Among the Shooting Stars, Candle Lawns and On the Faultline (Song title formatting. Also, what do they sound like? I'd have to go listen to them to understand what you mean) passed quite unnoticed at first. But in a week, I've found myself singing them while walking the street, doing my job, waiting an elevator or taking a shower. Their melodies are beautiful, and this make these songs so peculiar (Interesting word choice. What do you mean?).

There would be many other considerations we could do here about each of the songs in this work, but I'm not very fond to the track-by-track reviewing (Good call. Neither is anyone who would accept your review). I'll not enter in the considerations about the mixing or production of the album too, because I don't have proper knowledge to do this, besides for me the album sounds great, with all the instruments and the voice very audible. (This paragraph is basically you telling us that you don't need to have written it. Delete.)

So, we have one of the best Sonata Arctica albums in years, being an excellent follow up to Pariah's Child and easily rivaling with Unia and The Days of Grays. It's hard to compare it with the albums prior to those, because the band has changed their music direction so drastically at this point, and that would be unfair to both sides. I still admire and love all phases of the band and enjoy every album they have released so far, with this new one being not an exception. It’s an album full of what made me like Sonata Arctica in the first place: beauty, balance, emotion and passion. I will be singing along these songs for a long, long while.
(Delete this paragraph, too. You'll have to write a new conclusion anyway once you rewrite this)

(beauty, balance, emotion and passion: Focus on these themes, man, trust me. It will be way more interesting for you, and will likely end up being a much better review. Happy hunting.)
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stainedclass2112
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:03 am 
 

Alright Mr. Grave_Wyrm (or again, anyone willing to help), I'm back with the third version of the Overkill review. I tried working with the economy of language and really streamlining exactly what I'm meaning as opposed to what I'm just writing down. I also happen to be taking a writing class in college now, so this timing is perfect.

The paragraph that you said had a tapeworm in it, well, the entire paragraph ended up being a tapeworm to the entire review. I was able to narrow it down to 4 paragraphs and I think this is a big improvement. Apologies for the delay, my life has become rather busy as of late. I have maybe one or two nitpicks with it, but hopefully this is progress:

Spoiler: show
<i>The Years of Decay</i> receives a lot of praise from thrash fans, and many consider it to be Overkill's best. It's a top 3 for me; some of its secret weapons set it apart from most other thrash albums. From the impression you get from the first few songs, you'd expect this to be your straightforward 80's thrash metal album, but really this thing packs a lot more than just your usual thrash elements. <i>The Years of Decay</i>'s list of musical ingredients includes a few things that not everybody else was adding in their thrash recipes, most notably things like doom metal and even some experimental leanings. Too much musical experimentation in the realm of thrash metal can easily lead to a choked album full of issues, but not here; Overkill's fourth LP works extremely well due to an abundance of creativity on more fronts than one.

Of course, this is still a through-and-through thrash album, but stylistic experimentation and unusual ideas are a very common occurrence within. In some cases, especially on the last half of the album, you could almost justify calling this progressive thrash. Apart from the two straightforward thrashers in "Elimination" and "I Hate", the songs here will progress through various moods and tempos more often than not. For instance, "Who Tends the Fire" may consist of a lengthy atmospheric intro, but towards the halfway mark in the song, it explodes into a frenzied riff break that will take the listener for a wild ride before easing back into doom and gloom once more. "Skullkrusher", a doom track that'd make 'ol Black Sabbath proud, features a very similar construction while the other tracks on the album also showcase their ability to throw more than one type of idea at you. Right when you expect the album's taste to grow bland, it introduces some new flavors to keep you hooked.

The entire album possesses a potent, dark atmosphere coupled with a very creative and tense set of riffs. This makes the album heavy and menacing, but jarring at the same time; the listener is kept on the edge of their seat for almost the entire listen. Bobby G's signature riffing style is ever present here; he brings forth a maelstrom of more conventional thrash riffs but with an added salvo of creativity from his more experimental side, such as on "Birth of Tension" or "Evil Never Dies" with their intense combination of aggressive verses and frequent tempo shifts. In this way, the album is like a musical melting pot swirling together various elements of thrash metal with other darker, heavier forms of the genre whether it's in the form of a sudden solo, a uniquely energetic riff section, or even a well-executed interlude. Overkill are arguably at their strongest at their most straightforward, as shown on both <i>Taking Over</i> and <i>Hororscope</i>, but it was on this album in which they really showcased their abilities as songwriters; they significantly crank up the amount of variation without musically derailing.

All of that said, <i>The Years of Decay</i> is not perfect; it has a couple of minor issues that keep it from matching the best albums in Overkill's discography such as the presence of some unnecessary sections like the intro to "Skullkrusher" or the lengthy intro and outro to "Time to Kill". However, these little issues do little to hurt the album, and as a whole there is just over 50 minutes of uniquely designed and creatively crafted thrash to be found here. Fans of straightforward thrash will find a lot to chew on here, while those looking for a bit more meat in the songwriting department will also be very impressed. Whether or not you come for the presence of the burly, doomy numbers or the more tense thrashers, <i>The Years of Decay</i> does a damn fine job of standing up for and defending its status as a classic, and I wholeheartedly recommend it.


Thanks in advance.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:05 am 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
The paragraph that you said had a tapeworm in it, well, the entire paragraph ended up being a tapeworm to the entire review.

:lol:
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MasterofAlchemy
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 7:12 am
Posts: 3
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 7:18 am 
 

Grave_Wyrm, thanks for the tips, I really appreciate it!!! I'll work hard on this review and post the new draft here, for sure.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:58 pm 
 

I believe in you, MasterofAlchemy.

stainedclass2112, I'll be able to get to yours later on today, I think.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:21 pm 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
Alright Mr. Grave_Wyrm ... hopefully this is progress:

Mr. Wyrm, if you please. We're very formal and high-waisted in this thread. ;)

Spoiler: show
(Feels good, doesn't it? Another strong improvement. You pulled that sentient hell worm out through your navel and burned it alive! The review has its color back, it's eating solid food, and I'm basically positive you learned from playing host to an ancient parasite much older than the language in which it was hiding. Now to hunt down the individual segments and exterminate with extreme prejudice.)

<i>The Years of Decay</i> receives a lot of praise from thrash fans, and many consider it to be Overkill's best. It's a top 3 for me; some of its secret weapons set it apart from most other thrash albums. From the impression you get from the first few songs, you'd expect this to be your straightforward 80's thrash metal album, but really this thing packs a lot more than just your usual thrash elements. <i>The Years of Decay</i>'s list of musical ingredients includes a few things that not everybody else was adding in their thrash recipes, most notably things like doom metal and even some experimental leanings. Too much musical experimentation in the realm of thrash metal can easily lead to a choked album full of issues, but not here; Overkill's fourth LP works extremely well due to an abundance of creativity on more fronts than one.
(Nice, sturdy introduction. Mind your spacing after a period--not sure if that's a cut and paste issue. I think the final sentence could use more "punch." More "oomph," if you will. Or some other, more communicativly satisfying grunt.)

Of course, this is still a through-and-through thrash album, but stylistic experimentation and unusual ideas are a very common occurrence within. In some cases, especially on the last half of the album, you could almost justify calling this progressive thrash. Apart from the two straightforward thrashers in "Elimination" and "I Hate", the songs here will progress through various moods and tempos more often than not. For instance, "Who Tends the Fire" may consist of a lengthy atmospheric intro, but towards the halfway mark in the song, it explodes into a frenzied riff break that will take the listener for a wild ride before easing back into doom and gloom once more. "Skullkrusher", a doom track that'd make 'ol Black Sabbath proud, features a very similar construction while the other tracks on the album also showcase their ability to throw more than one type of idea at you. Right when you expect the album's taste to grow bland, it introduces some new flavors to keep you hooked.
(This is a strong example of how to identify chains of individual songs, focusing on particular elements and getting the whole thing to serve the review. It's all about substantiating a point with effective description.)

The entire album possesses a potent, dark atmosphere coupled with a very creative and tense set of riffs. This makes the album heavy and menacing, but jarring at the same time; the listener is kept on the edge of their seat for almost the entire listen. Bobby G's signature riffing style is ever present here; he brings forth a maelstrom of more conventional thrash riffs but with an added salvo of creativity from his more experimental side, such as on "Birth of Tension" or "Evil Never Dies" with their intense combination of aggressive verses and frequent tempo shifts. In this way, the album is like a musical melting pot swirling together various elements of thrash metal with other darker, heavier forms of the genre whether it's in the form of a sudden solo, a uniquely energetic riff section, or even a well-executed interlude. Overkill are arguably at their strongest at their most straightforward, as shown on both <i>Taking Over</i> and <i>Hororscope</i>, but it was on this album in which they really showcased their abilities as songwriters; they significantly crank up the amount of variation without musically derailing.
(I keep wanting this to be the main conclusion of the review. If you can find a way to work the last two paragraphs together, shedding some chaff, I think it would end better than the final paragraph does on its own.)

All of that said, <i>The Years of Decay</i> is not perfect; it has a couple of minor issues that keep it from matching the best albums in Overkill's discography such as the presence of some unnecessary sections like the intro to "Skullkrusher" or the lengthy intro and outro to "Time to Kill". However, these little issues do little to hurt the album, and as a whole there is just over 50 minutes of uniquely designed and creatively crafted thrash to be found here. Fans of straightforward thrash will find a lot to chew on here, while those looking for a bit more meat in the songwriting department will also be very impressed. Whether or not you come for the presence of the burly, doomy numbers or the more tense thrashers, <i>The Years of Decay</i> does a damn fine job of standing up for and defending its status as a classic, and I wholeheartedly recommend it.
(As a conclusion this paragraph is a bit weak, particularly in comparison to the preceding one. However, as it stands, the panultimate paragraph won't work on its own, either. If you want some extra credit ;) see if you can tighten up the latter half.)


(Good improvement, man. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes of your writing class. Take a look also at your superlatives and short, intervening words that might not need to be there. Again, style and voice are entirely up to you, but in pursuit of streamlining, this can be very effective in improving the impact of your style. And take your time with that process. You don't want to sand it down so much that you start losing detail and texture.)
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stainedclass2112
Veteran

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 5:36 pm
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 11:21 pm 
 

I was planning on just doing some quick edits and careful proofreading before submitting it, but your analysis there gave me an idea. I'll have an adjusted version, that may or may not end up being the best version, up later. Best to make sure my sword is as sharp as possible before marching into battle.

So let me ask something. One thing I generally try to avoid when writing these is acknowledging opposing opinions. I've seen so many cases of the reviewer going on a tangent about "those who say this about the album are wrong because blah blah blah" or something similar - all without making a very good write-up for the album. However, if I have a decent description and body about the album itself (which I think I've got here with this review) in the first place, would adding in a paragraph acknowledging and refuting those differing opinions be beneficial? Or would it be a tapeworm (I love that term, so using it from now on)? I could always just not really mention the few problems I have with it, I'm giving the album a 92% and I only have minor nitpicks with the record. However, that leaves my review at 3 paragraphs.

I'm thinking that I can efficiently knock out the problem of the weak closing paragraph and my weak descriptions of the album's few weaknesses if I add in a paragraph like this. My alternate version would have identical opening and first body paragraphs, then a paragraph addressing the problems AND refuting some of the negative opinions before the current 3rd paragraph becoming my closer. Am I looking to hard into this? Or am I on to something that might end up helping my approach in the future? If I can find a way to consistently string together my points naturally while beefing up with good descriptions, I think I'll be able to take my next step towards becoming a good reviewer. The problem is finding what I am doing wrong and finding what I can do to spice up my construction.

And again, thanks so much Mr. Wyrm.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:42 am 
 

stainedclass2112 wrote:
Am I looking to hard into this? Or am I on to something that might end up helping my approach in the future? If I can find a way to consistently string together my points naturally while beefing up with good descriptions, I think I'll be able to take my next step towards becoming a good reviewer. The problem is finding what I am doing wrong and finding what I can do to spice up my construction.

And again, thanks so much Mr. Wyrm.

You're ever so welcome, Mr. Class ("Mr. Stained" seemed too snarky, although if you're into it I'll certainly oblige, and you've shown such class lately, I felt that was more appropriate). I'm here to help.

I don't think you're looking too hard into it. Quite the opposite. You're attending to the less easily described elements of personal style with an eye toward refinement. This is always worth a hard look.

Give your idea a try. It's a worthy objective to get into some solid, level-headed refuting and a natural stringing together of ideas. I agree that people usually only bring up their opposing camp in order to hastily set it on fire, and that's an easy target. I like that you want to up the ante and take a different, personal approach. Give it a shot! Hypothesis testing is time well spent.
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