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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:45 pm 
 

Bathory Erzsebet wrote:
as somebody who has psychiatrically confirmed ocd, i dont think im nearly as bad as whoever keeps rejecting this simple, passionate review. Maybe one of you guys know whats triggering the OVERSEER.

Simply put, the review fails to meet site standards. The rules are available, so please read them.

It seems like you don't have much context for your disorder. OCD doesn't automatically mean attention to detail. A young woman with it gradually ate a large portion of the clay-and-straw wall of her house over the course of several months, and she nearly dead from various parasite infections and obstructed bowels. So there ya go.

Notes in spoiler.
Spoiler: show
(It would help if you included what album you're reviewing, and your rejection message.)


Just listen to the first two tracks. If you are not amazed, then listen to them again, because you are wrong (A belligerent claim. One I don't find inspiring). The intro is one of the most evocative folk tunes i :nazi: have ever heard . And when the metal hits, it does with some of the finest production the genre has to offer. The guitars sound great. The tremelos are searingly high. When the guitars get heavy they have a nice base :nazi: to it, sometimes a real crunch, and the drums are explosive. AND THE DRUMMING... masterful work... (grammar and proofreading, please. Also, see the rules on formatting because these paragraph separations need attention).
The sound of this record is overwhelming (Vague description). With a soft bed of distortion almost always in the background, and at times synths and choruses as well, in a couple of tracks you even have Bells. :nazi: (Fragment sentence) The sound is just thick, weighty, and just extremely gratifying. And when the sound goes high, its :nazi: like being suspended in air facing the cold sun, yeah the tension can get intense, and the pay-offs are rewarding :nazi: (Run-on sentence). But a lot of the times these songs can be instantly gratifying, as i should have noted earlier, this is Melodic bm :nazi: (Capitalization, run-on sentence, what does "bm" stand for? Full terms need to precede abbreviations or acronyms). This album is incredibly anthemic, full of soul. (Formatting)
The vocals are epic, and at times really mournful. Like the vocalist is trying so hard to overcome whatever it is he is saying... i do wish lyrics were posted, but its the sound that matters. :nazi: (Grammar, proofreading, run-ons, elipses used for why?)
So many bm bands have tried to capture the essence of nature, of the wilderness, and Autumn Eternal (Italicize album titles) has depicted it perfectly. I can't get the scenery of rolling hills and mountains, falling leaves out of my mind when i listen to this. As corny as that sounds, the record portrays it so genuinely. (Formatting)
One of the best aspects of this album is how memorable, and unique :nazi: it is. It's not avant-garde, but it truly has a sound of its own. A sound i :nazi: havent gotten from other records, it has its own character :nazi:. Each song has memorable compositions, textures, and some have surprise instrumentation, effects, and vocal deliveries. This album Does :nazi: (Proofreading) not go stale for a moment. Each song is developed, and does overstay or understay its welcome (What?).
Atmosphere- Perfect
Instrumentation and Composition- Perfect
Production- Perfect
Cohesiveness and Variety- Perfect
Vocal Delivery- Perfect
(This format isn't a thing.)
Everything feeds into itself, everything complements itself, and provides an emotional journey through Panopticon's land that i will love to return to time and time again... just listen to it already. Did i mention this is a one man project... HOW? great job :nazi: (A painful series of errors)

Thats it... yeah, pretty banal, whatever, ill just listen to the fucking record. god forbid i try to submit a simple review (Wish I'd read this beforehand. I wouldn't have fucking bothered.)
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Mikhail95
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:13 pm
Posts: 62
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 2:49 am 
 

Could I please have some help with my review?

Spoiler: show
This album is very good to say the least. It's technical, heavy, and brutal and let's just say Vile peaked on this album. Their previous album "Stench of the Deceased" was very brutal but this album is more technical. Songs like the fourth track "Retaliation" and the title track have very heavy use of rapid harmonic minor scales. On the title track Depopulate the singer will growl, then the guitar will go down in a scale, then the singer will shift his voice slightly higher and the guitar lines will go up in the scale and it sounds very fluid in motion. On interrogation rites the guitarist plays a very beautiful solo, not atonal shredding but a very clean sounding solo with some whammy bar usage. The best thing about this album is the very meaty guitar tone. It has a lot of weight to it and is not light sounding at all which adds to the heaviness of the music.

The drummer on this album is truly phenomenal; he doesn't overdue the blast beats and he knows his way around the kit. Sometimes when the music slows down he just uses his tremendous double bass kicks with some steady beats, but when the music speeds up he throws in some very impressive blast beats. Honestly, the way the drums sound on this album reminds me a lot of Decapitated's Nihility which was "The" metal album of 2002. With very heavy use of double bass and when the songs speed up the blast beats kick in. The guitarists show a clear progression from the straightforward brutality of "Stench of the Deceased." Here they add a lot of neo-classical shredding in the riffs and solos. For example the last track is a classically styled instrumental which utilizes only acoustic guitar. The fourth track Retaliation has very heavy usage of harmonic and melodic minor scales in the opening riff played at very high speeds.

The vocalist is one of the strong suits of this album. He has a very powerful low growl reminding me of Glen Benton and he has some very tasteful high screams. Not like those screamo bands which are annoying but very good high screams more in the form of old school melodic death metal like Carcass, old In Flames (not the new version), and The Black Dahlia Murder. The one thing that this album lacks is a bass. I know they have a bass player but he's practically inaudible, almost impossible to hear. The production on this album is very good to say the least. All the instruments (except the bass) are very clear and can be heard. The production on this album reminds me of Decapitated's Nihility and I bring up this comparison because they were released in the same year (2002), they both fit in the same genre, and they have that very heavy use of double bass, and very meaty guitar tone with heavy use of harmonic minor and melodic minor scales in the riffs and solos on both perspective albums.

In conclusion, this album is good. Noting genre defining but a strong, solid, album. Vile may have lost some of their individuality from their debut "Stench" but this album is more polished and the playing is more intricate and displays a growth from the players in musical composition and technical abilities. Another thing to note are the actually good movie samples used in the last track and Unit 731. They use samples from the awesome crime film Reservoir Dogs instead of some shitty low grade horror film or porn flick. Overall, you should give this a listen if you like technical, brutal, or just regular death metal.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 12:05 am 
 

It's a mixture of disjointed topics, and is pretty difficult to read. Generally speaking, it's repetitive, plodding, and so disorganized as to be essentially broken. More detailed notes can be given once it's organized.

In the meantime:
Your discussion points are scattered all over, which makes every paragraph confusing. Organize your thoughts about a given topic coherently. Pick a topic for a paragraph, and then gather into that paragraph all the different times you talk about that topic.

Vary your descriptions. Don't just say "heavy" and "brutal" and "very good" over and over. Also, you reference the same Nihility comparison twice in different places, but you're basically making the same point twice. Proofread for that sort of thing. Read it out loud and you'll probably see what I mean pretty quickly.
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PETERG
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:48 pm
Posts: 398
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:25 am 
 

Hello friends.
I submitted a review a about a week ago and it is still waiting for approval.
Why is it taking so long? Is sonething amiss on my review?
Thanks in advance.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:12 am 
 

We are understaffed. Either way, there is no promise that submissions will be dealt with quickly. It might take up to several weeks.

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~Guest 375902
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:36 am
Posts: 445
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 2:12 am 
 

Needs some help to be accepted

Spoiler: show
When a band touts itself as the thinking man’s metal, it leaves more to question than it intends to tackle. Normally, such a case is an effort at best aimed at denouncing if not deriding metal clichés, and only a marketing thoughtful group would really care as much about it. Reason being—a thinking man’s metal is less concerned with typifying as opposed to to being one and letting whoever comes across it decide. At any scale, that should be Singularity. Compacting Singularity. By <b>Void Walker</b>, its progressiveness is the first pointer to this direction.

Damning as it is, space euphoria has superseded short impulsive lapses indulging myriad bands’ sleeve art only and captured this four piece—by a sleight-fully, timely, infinite grip. When all the right sounds align, they gravitate towards an up-swelling whole which takes pole position—and eargasm revolves such a perfect assemblage. Album art never escapes my exploration, because it is more than just a bonus. Here, it might as well surpass sound simulation. Really neat, surreal inception of far shores—conceiving a Saul Bass angularity and a Jon Anderson’s impact. Imposing to preformed ideas of outside space as it would best precede explorations—as sincerely speaking, most of high distance spatial images are reconstructions with a touch of informed predicaments. On such worlds, Void Walker would fare effortlessly—be it in their creations, laying down, conquistadatoring, exploration, sojourning. . . .

Musically pummeling on the unbound fringes of technical progressive Death Metal, it incorporates classically played keyboards in a style channeling a black metal atmosphere. Not exactly a recipe/symphony for destruction, given the measured approach in their embodiment and an affirmative setting—it falls in place as the build-up for the guitars and a support element once the riffs scaffold the song. Rightly mixed where others are content to prefer keys overshadowing accompanying musical sections. That is not to say it is a fully inclusive aspect, as it only keeps segmented in track 01, an instrumental break—the rest being minimal. Keeping an intact soundtrack aura . . . for the space opera. This was one of the rare times when I didn’t fully appreciate a band’s vocals—not a full flung growl, as a deeper one would be sleek—even though the backing’s compensate . They do betray the band’s age, but likely a fault not.

Void Walker is a rightful contender to quality beating quantity, even for an EP. Such is what I would really care about tech death. A mass of disorienting superbness over unseemly and non eloquent jarring with palpitating seeds—whose only promise is to blossom, never to heed anywhere. Fantastic work.


Here's another one . . .

Spoiler: show
The warm radiance that is <i>Illuminance</i> shines its blissful intersection in a transmogrifying brilliant resplendence. From the way the Mad Mane Machine has been seeing technically inclined Death Metal bands lean towards glowing/bizarrely gleaming covers has been off-putting—it really recalls every quasi djent/deathcore aims at being super proggy and/or transcendent or something in that line. As a downside, Illuminance jumbled with such releases, barely labeled as progressive stands a huge disadvantage of being overlooked.

An instance of unrepentant dissociation—by indiscriminately indulging overflowing, yet insane progressive Death Metal is what I'd term Illuminance. Solid songwriting, awe-striking musicianship, discipline in instrument handling—or a failure to let dexterity drive urgent points home. Outlasting an experience as this makes Virvum's efforts more effective and the album something to really dig into—without demanding one to wrap around its contents. Which really is a shame, as one tries figuring out why—though not present here—a bassist as Nikola Somborski would go ahead to form a band as mediocre as Cordyceps. Fitting of every Slam stereotype, and then some . . . fun? Saddening.

Asserting to say the high stature that is maintained here, right off the bat, down to the epic closure. Sonically suggestive to create (non queer) uplifting an atmosphere—one that could be enhanced to stimulate creative activities that stretch imagination; painting et. al. The mighty <i>The Cypher Supreme</i> has incredibly catchy leads which floors by clicks of considerable beauty. Even from first listen, it is a stand out that out-listening such craft's nary a point of regard. A jutting that foretells Virvum are not heady for an all-drawn-out orientation to the jugular. An album I'd vouch fro as a solid progressive Death Metal representative—heck, a testament to why progressive DM is better than technical DM, and more-so on instrumentally articulate progressive DM. Not to state that non technical Progressive DM is a paler strain, but it's less amusing trying to come around intense song assemblies competing with hooking tech death full of riffs not as impressive as on previous listen.

The tantalizing excellence conveyed is a constant, peaking with <i>II: A Final Warming Shine: Ascension and Trespassing</i>. Matter-of-factly the most appealing track appears to be the first—also containing one of some of the heaviest parts of the album, right at the track's end. Another heavy traction aids purge the title to iron melting magnitude. Drummer Diego Morenzoni is on a rhythmic urge to complete the snare catastrophe with a gushing speed. Nothing haphazardly spasmodic like Brain Drill, who demand intense follow-up to discern—even recall—their sound structure. This is an almost faultless release and it's sudden impressiveness on first listen fails to fade away. Aiming for that is only a formula to cater for an ADD audience. I'm willing to believe Virvum are above such—for clarity, it is not only hooks that make music something to recall, with neither of that here—although this album could sit on a couple shelves, gateway progressive DM being one. Which is completely assailed as a compliment.

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Luvers
Writes generic (and possibly meandering) posts

Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:34 pm
Posts: 543
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 9:54 am 
 

Just had a review rejected and there was no reason given, or at least nothing specific.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 10:25 am 
 

Luvers666: Post your draft here, then. That's the point of this thread...

Putrevomitory: As clarified in the rejection messages, your grammar and syntax are all over the place. The word choice is ambitious, but you don't have an acceptable grasp at the nuances of the language to pull it off.
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Luvers
Writes generic (and possibly meandering) posts

Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:34 pm
Posts: 543
Location: United States
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 11:59 am 
 

<u>General:</u> (<em>8</em>): On Axel Rudi Pell's fourth album, "<strong><em>Between the Walls,</em></strong>" namesake guitarist - and chief songwriter - must have decided it was the best album he had ever made.

The reason for this unsupported declaration is that every album since that has, structurally, been the same. The formula had progressed in quality over the next two albums with Jeff Soto at the microphone, but the zenith was recognized with the previous album - the first to feature Johnny Gioelli on the mic - "<strong><em>Oceans of Time.</em></strong>"

Beginning here, the formula begins the initial decline, though not in performance. Everyone here plays amicably while there is a much greater balance and consistency not found on prior albums. The decline is revealed as a continual inability to make all tracks equal quality. When the moments are off, they start to ruin the experience of listening to the album in full, as one would believe is the way the band intended.

<u>Music</u> (<em>7</em>): There are only three rockers on this album, continuing what was demonstrated on the previous album, showcasing a slower but darker edge. Where "<i>Oceans of Time</i>" was dreamy and filled with rich atmospheric keys to provide an ethereal backdrop, truly sailing on blissful notes, here the brooding darkness reigns.

"<b>July Morning</b>" is a cover of Uriah Heep's epic, which is far too close to the original. The production and performances all ace the 1971 version, but it fails to build on these technological advances, making it a by the numbers copy.

<u>Lyrics</u> (<em>5</em>): If there is one drawback to the band, it is their overall bland lyrical writing. It very seldom deviates from the topics of mythology, magic and wizardry. The only deviations there are usually are about sex or are odes to music. While there are some clever metaphors scattered throughout, the lyrics are insignificant.

<u>Vocals</u> (<em>10</em>): It is a shame about the lyrics since they limit the amazing voice of Johnny Gioeli. What he is permitted to sing, he really gives life and charisma to, but one cannot stop and think what type of lyrics he would contribute if were permitted. To illustrate; During <b>Voodoo Nights</b>, Johnny's scream just before the final chorus and the one which ends the song are two of the best Metal moments I have ever heard. Or the final vocal melody of <b>The Line</b> or the bridge sections just before the main refrains of <b>Night And Rain</b>

<u>Overall</u> (<em>10</em>): The choice cuts are "<b>Voodoo Nights</b>," "<b>Night and Rain</b>," "<b>The Line</b>," "<b>The Temple of the Holy</b>." Each are incredibly powerful, unique and full of dark melodies that really capture the depressive spirit the album was reaching for.

Despite the criticism of the lyrics, the album is still one of Axel's strongest overall. The fact that the lineup here was the longest tenured does not go unnoticed. The continuity is on full display throughout and it is hard to find a negative point towards any performance. It is highly recommended to at least be heard, to be appreciated.

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TheWaltzer
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:07 am
Posts: 651
Location: Slowfuck Republic
PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:55 am 
 

Luvers666:
OK, just briefly, since I'm no veteran reviewer. Anyone else, feel free to prove me wrong. IMO, it's not too far from being acceptable. First of all, I would drop the scores for different aspects of the album. Because your goal is not primarily to convey "how good" the record is, but rather "what it's like". And the music should be the core aspect of your writing: you are going on quite a lot about lyrics, but fail to describe what the key features of the music are and how does it sound like.

Also, some descriptions you use are vague. To illustrate:
Quote:
The choice cuts are "<b>Voodoo Nights</b>," "<b>Night and Rain</b>," "<b>The Line</b>," "<b>The Temple of the Holy</b>." Each are incredibly powerful, unique and full of dark melodies that really capture the depressive spirit the album was reaching for.


OK, what I get from this is that they are quite depressive and melodic ("unique" and "powerful" don't say much). What makes them unique and powerful? Are they slow-paced, Sabbath-influenced, do they have some orchestrations, a wonderful solo, some unexpected moments? I don't know. And I actually don't, because I don't know this record. So, be more descriptive rather than openly judgemental. Your opinion is better conveyed through how you describe the music rather than a score you give the record on a 1 to 10 scale.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:41 am 
 

Luvers666 wrote:
<u>General:</u> (<em>8</em>): On Axel Rudi Pell's fourth album, "<strong><em>Between the Walls,</em></strong>" namesake guitarist - and chief songwriter - must have decided it was the best album he had ever made.

This formatting turns your review into a checklist. Just write about all of your topics properly. Don't just turn these sections into paragraphs, either, because that's essentially just the same. It's a clunky way to organize a review, and has no narrative flow whatsoever.

I recommend reading the rules (at the top of Review Discussion) and rewriting according to what you find there.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 10:56 pm 
 

I have three reviews waiting in the queue, and these have been sitting there since my Piece of Mind and Chinatown reviews got accepted. I understand this Secret Satan thing is the rage now, but please don't let us non-competitors sit out in the cold.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5999
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:44 pm 
 

Reviews for highly popular albums that already have dozens of reviews almost always take more processing time than others. Part of that reason is that they're almost always poor quality or fail to describe the music of the album over that of the band itself, though the more pressing reason is that nobody really wants to read the 24th review of "Powerslave" or the 17th review of "South of Heaven." That includes the moderators that have to judge them.

If you focused less on albums already saturated with reviews, your reviews would be processed faster.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:58 pm 
 

But they'll read the 18th review for Piece of Mind?
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Timeghoul wrote:
Petitioner wrote:
Shut the fuck up you pathetic shut ins.
I didn't know children book fans were so angry.

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10861
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 1:23 am 
 

There's really no cut and dry "these are the rules" answer to it, but Deri's right, sometimes they just take longer because nobody wants to deal with them. Highly reviewed albums fall victim to this more than others. Complaining about it will not make it move faster.
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~Guest 375902
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:36 am
Posts: 445
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 3:55 am 
 

Diamhea wrote:
The word choice is ambitious, but you don't have an acceptable grasp at the nuances of the language to pull it off.

With the first phrase I agree to an extent. The last section of the sentence could at best require an example (should nuances, of all things, require one), or else there should be no point of posting a draft here.

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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1758
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:36 am 
 

putrevomitory wrote:
Diamhea wrote:
The word choice is ambitious, but you don't have an acceptable grasp at the nuances of the language to pull it off.

With the first phrase I agree to an extent. The last section of the sentence could at best require an example (should nuances, of all things, require one), or else there should be no point of posting a draft here.

Think of it like that, a writer armed with good vocabulary is like a carpenter with the right tools--one builds lines; the other furniture. If someone wanted to buy a table, the carpenter would show them a table, not the tools he'd used to make it. Reading your review, it feels as if I were examining a bunch of tools, not a literary product. Keep one thing in mind, no syntax no semantics.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:29 am 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
But they'll read the 18th review for Piece of Mind?


Quote:
This is best demonstrated on Live Undead, which deceivingly starts with a midpaced rhythm, Tom delivers a fantastic scream with THE PAAAAAAAAIN a couple of more lines then DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE *drum roll*, THRAAAASSSH.


Honestly, I can't stand sitting through reviews like this. That is why I haven't dealt with them yet. Generally I wait for another mod to add their input if it isn't one that I can accept/reject outright. Since I deal with 95% of submissions, waiting for that second opinion might take a few days.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:39 pm 
 

So much for thinking energy and enthusiasm counts as a positive.
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Timeghoul wrote:
Petitioner wrote:
Shut the fuck up you pathetic shut ins.
I didn't know children book fans were so angry.

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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
Posts: 9275
Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:53 pm 
 

It definitely should, but lukewarm post-Ultraboris stream of consciousness rambling is really hard to pull off. Really hard. Plus don't forget what the overarching point of the review is.

I'm not saying it's unacceptable, either.
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nuclearskull wrote:
Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Last.fm

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:13 pm 
 

Diamhea wrote:
It definitely should, but lukewarm post-Ultraboris stream of consciousness rambling is really hard to pull off. Really hard. Plus don't forget what the overarching point of the review is.

I'm not saying it's unacceptable, either.



:lol: I'm afraid if I went full Ultraboris I wouldn't be coherent at all. Plus considering how much of his reviews have been deleted....
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Petitioner wrote:
Shut the fuck up you pathetic shut ins.
I didn't know children book fans were so angry.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 6:42 pm 
 

TrooperEd, what's your hurry? Also, energy and enthusiasm are only problematic if they render you inarticulate.

putrevomitory wrote:
The last section of the sentence could at best require an example (should nuances, of all things, require one), or else there should be no point of posting a draft here.

Hi, I'm the person who took way longer than I should have to point out specifics.
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:21 pm 
 

I have to call bullshit on the grammar checker used for the site. When I was writing this sentence for a review:

The tag-team of Phil and Wurzel are just as sterling as ever, especially with their soloing.

It keeps insisting that "their" is grammatically incorrect and that it should be substituted with "they're." No it fucking shouldn't! "They're (they are)" is used to refer to something people are doing in the present tense and involves action. They are going to the store. I'm using the word in a possessive sense, in reference to talents or possession, i.e. "I pissed in their gas-tank."

I like to think English is my first language, but maybe I'm going nuts. Am I going nuts? Is the sentence actually supposed to be "The tag-team of Phil and Wurzel are just as sterling as ever, especially with they're soloing?"
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
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Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 2:18 am 
 

If it makes you feel better, it's not like there's some algorithm that tells us there are x amount of grammar errors or anything that we glance at and just reject if it's over a certain number. I assure you we actually do read each review before judging it so there's no need to worry about something weird like that.
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~Guest 375902
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:36 am
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 5:26 am 
 

Nice analogy, Antioch. Lol, didn't realize there were specific :nazi: :nazi: But 2nd opinion is always appreciated.

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Azmodes
Ultranaut

Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:44 am
Posts: 11198
Location: Ob der Enns, Austria
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:24 am 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
I have to call bullshit on the grammar checker used for the site. When I was writing this sentence for a review:

The tag-team of Phil and Wurzel are just as sterling as ever, especially with their soloing.

It keeps insisting that "their" is grammatically incorrect and that it should be substituted with "they're." No it fucking shouldn't! "They're (they are)" is used to refer to something people are doing in the present tense and involves action. They are going to the store. I'm using the word in a possessive sense, in reference to talents or possession, i.e. "I pissed in their gas-tank."

I like to think English is my first language, but maybe I'm going nuts. Am I going nuts? Is the sentence actually supposed to be "The tag-team of Phil and Wurzel are just as sterling as ever, especially with they're soloing?"

It probably does that because of the gerund. Your You're not going nuts.
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TrachomaSlayer
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:59 pm
Posts: 52
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:18 pm 
 

Hello review-reviewers! I just got my very first review approved, which I'm pretty excited about, but I think that I could learn a lot for future submissions if I could get some notes on what was good and more importantly what was bad about my review. Without further ado, here is my review for Orbit Dualkraut by ZQKMGDZ:
Spoiler: show
Spacey Simplicity - 85%
TrachomaSlayer, December 16th, 2016
Written based on this version: 2016, CD, Pink Tank Records
Rather than push the boundaries of what can be done in the genres of doom and stoner metal, Orbit Dualkraut simply achieves a superior quality sound. This album has all the hallmarks that I’ve come to know as staples in the genre of stoner metal such as groovy riffs, spacey atmospheric sounds, plenty of fuzz, and vocals that sound like they’re coming from an aliens megaphone. That isn’t to say that the album sounds like every other stoner metal band out there, after all they definitely take some influence from doom metal with the slower heavier riffs and harsh vocals on the songs Hypergiant and Ape Apocalypse Monkey Doom. I think that the band ZQKMGDZ, german for “ten thousand square km against time”, does a fantastic job of pulling the best bits out of the two related subgenres to create very memorable tracks.

While it is hard for me to discern the subject matter of the songs, given that I’m American and the band is German, the band’s label has cleared some of it up for me. Pink Tank Records states on their website that ZQKMGDZ’s goal “was to create visions of time traveling between planets and to transfer this idea into a musical reality”. This vision definitely comes across on the album, and that great spacey sound is present throughout. I’ve always been a fan of doom/stoner bands using sci-fi for inspiration, and because of this my favorite band in the genre is Orange Goblin.

For a random pick off of the metal archives website for a totally unreviewed album, I got incredibly lucky! This band is making quality music and they seem to be almost totally unknown. They are truly a diamond in the rough.

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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
Posts: 3928
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:58 am 
 

"A diamond in the rough" means "something potentially awesome that has yet to be refined," not unknown. Proper noun capitalization needs proofreading for uniformity, and song title formatting needs attention. Description was fine and I got a good idea of what to expect from the album, but the flow of ideas could be better organized (the goal being nothing out of place, and everything phrased unmistakably).

However, this is a good example of acceptability, and anyone who's gotten theirs rejected should look right here for comparison. Obviously, this is not a particularly complex review. It's to the point and plainly put, and preserves a casual, descriptive character.
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TrachomaSlayer
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:59 pm
Posts: 52
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:12 pm 
 

Thanks for the critique grave wyrm! I'll be keeping your note in mind for my next review.

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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1758
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:45 pm 
 

TrachomaSlayer wrote:
ZQKMGDZ

Just an update, as I happen to know the band. They're a bunch of seasoned musicians, one of whom has very recently filed a report identifying himself. He mentioned your review and seemed, albeit implicitly, quite content about the fact that his album was reviewed - Read the underlined as the review.
http://www.metal-archives.com/report/view/id/585950
Personally, I'm not a fan of the review, but it's a start. I just thought that the fact that it was read (and in some sense approved) by the songwriter might boost your confidence. So, good luck.
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Grave_Wyrm
Metal Sloth

Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 10:01 pm 
 

Antioch wrote:
Personally, I'm not a fan of the review, but it's a start.

Same here. It's a good example of meeting the passable standards. I definitely recommend that the author spend time on personal touches that make it more interesting to read, and (more importantly) more interesting to write.
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TrachomaSlayer
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:59 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2016 7:06 pm 
 

Wow, thanks for letting me know about that Antioch. It's very cool that the band read my review, and it is definitely going to encourage me to do a lot more quality control on future reviews. I'll definitely stand behind my words in that review, but if I knew that the band would actually read it maybe I would have taken an extra day to work on it.

Follow up question: do you think that longer or shorter reviews are better? Personally I like shorter reviews, because I feel that it's better to express your thoughts in as few words as possible.

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Antioch
Metalhead

Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 4:08 am
Posts: 1758
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2016 8:28 pm 
 

TrachomaSlayer wrote:
I'll definitely stand behind my words in that review

Well said. The moment you start writing for the band is the moment your opinion/review becomes worthless.

TrachomaSlayer wrote:
Follow up question: do you think that longer or shorter reviews are better? Personally I like shorter reviews, because I feel that it's better to express your thoughts in as few words as possible.

Conciseness has its merits, but the goodness of a review has very little to do with its length. Neither is every short review succinct, nor can every long one be kept interesting. Others here, better-versed in such matters, can help you more - Mr. Wyrm for one. Be well-informed - that's the best advice I could give.
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PETERG
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:48 pm
Posts: 398
Location: Greece
PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2016 1:24 am 
 

So after getting my last review brutally rejected by Diamhea i decided to learn from my mistakes and post my filthy excuse of writing before actually submitting it. This is my review on Ghost Bath's album "Moonlover". Please be strict nd tell me how can i improve it :

As far as it seems there have been a lot of creative attempts to mix black metal with post rock and shoegaze, during the past few years. Occasionally this experiment was deemed successful with bands like Deafheaven and Harakiri for the Sky. And there we have Ghost Bath who seem to give an exact opposite view and impression by simply being really horrible.


It can be easily admitted that the band is highly influenced by Deafheaven- someone could even say that they tend to be borderline fan boys to their black metal/post rock compatriots. The album depends on the distorted guitars- set on minor scales-, intense blast-beats that slap the listener relentlessly and a somehow pitched production to create its atmosphere. Sounds good on paper right? Sadly the group fails to deliver this simple task and this happens due to their inability to produce a single good riff or melody! Their guitar themes are mostly composed of emotionless "happy- but- sad- at the same time" riffs, which re getting dragged down for too long. The artists appear to be really ignorant of what we call "minimalism" in black metal; you do not just repeat the same thing over and over until you run out of appetite. The phrase or the melody must embrace the listener, not make him hapless. As for the drums hey prove my previous point by having no variety, except for like one or two moments and when they do that they end up sounding unmatchable to the whole song. How can someone appreciate this kind of work if the only thing that is leaked from it, is the figure of a bored artist who did not spend any effort on making its release sound like his identity?


Moving on a word can be spared for the lyrics… oops sorry you are simply unlucky because there are no lyrics on this release. This goes hand in hand with the vocals. Even if there were lyrics we could not hear them at all thanks to the endless “Whoo!” , screaming of the singer. I guess they wanted to make their vocals a bit more suicidal alas all I see is lack of creativity and inspiration to make something both good and different. The only thing that can be put on the positive side of this album is the amazing work put by the producer who buried the singer underneath numerous layers of distortion making him at least affordable for the most part.

With the heavy parts of the album having been so bad at least the more melodic and depressive should at least make us feel this…thing that they want us to feel. For once again the group does not live up to the fan’s expectations. Some sad chords who go from nowhere to nowhere and do not add anything to the whole structure of the song. Not only that the tracks follow the same path every time. A harsh part followed by a break and then a dull ending played on a piano or a clean guitar. As stated above this does not give anything special to this release except boredom.


What else can be claimed or said about this failed attempt? This is just not good at all, without a single highlight. If we had not already heard the same album by many other bands, and on some instances done better, it would be less boring. For now it is just Deafheaven with stupid song titles and even more stupid vocals. And pardon me but making awful, gimmicky attempts to gather fame and a “kvlt” aesthetic around you, weather it could be the moronic rumor that your band is from China or the extensive bad use of Google translate on your line-up, tells a lot about how serious you are. I hope that Ghost Bath will eventually mature, sit down and decide to write some good music, because this is just bad.
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Diamhea
Eats and Spits Corpses

Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:46 pm
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Location: At the Heat of Winter
PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:33 am 
 

Seems acceptable.

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:04 am 
 

So my Bomber review was rejected again. The first time it was rejected because it was seen as a "track-by-track" review, which it really wasn't. and now it was rejected for "too much rambling, poor sentence structure (what?) and not enough content on the music."

Here's the fucking problem, ITS MOTORHEAD! There's only one sentence you can say about it. "It's Motorhead, it's rock & roll." You can't really say anything else without going into a track-by-track review (and it can be argued this is a hurdle with reviewing classic heavy metal in general). You can't ramble on about textures and art like you could say, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss. I actually deleted a couple sentences and lines about certain tracks on the album so it wouldn't look like a track by track review, and the best thing I could come up with in its place was the fourth paragaph:

I'm a huge Motorhead fan, but I gotta level with you reader, I do not get this album's acclaim. When I first heard it back in 2005 it sounded very generic to me then, and it sounds generic as hell to me now. There's a reason this isn't as discussed as Overkill or Ace of Spades, and it's the same reason Motorhead barely touched any of it live: It's not that good.

Which is not to say the whole thing is a snorefest. Dead Men Tell No Tales, Stone Dead Forever, and of course, the fantastic title track are all classics of metal. Though I must say as a personal preference, I never listen to the studio version. Fadeouts are always shit and the studio version actually makes you get kind of tired of that killer riff. No Sleep Til Hammersmith indeed. But in any case, either one of these three songs could have made the Overkill (or Ace of Spades) album and been a fine replacement for the snorefest that was Metropolis (or Dance?).

But the rest? Well, Lemmy remarked on how Jimmy Miller's heroin addiction was fucking everything up on this album during recording and it definitely shows. Sweet Revenge is an example of this. This was before Motorhead figured out to play slow like champs, this wouldn't be their first blunder in that department either (see:Metropolis). Sharpshooter would be a great song if not for that lame underdeveloped intro riff, which makes you want to hit the skip button within seconds. Which is a shame because the rest of the song is solid and that riff when shown in the proper context of the song works quite well. Poison sucks, just clunky from beginning to end. The entire thing really just reeks of underdeveloped ideas, and "should have kept to Overkill tour on the road til 1980." The thing about Motorhead is when they're subpar, there's nothing inherently awful about it, but it is very generic. Incidentally Over The Top, a B-side, didn't make the album and not only was it better than most of the tracks here, but it would go on to be a live staple. Go figure.

I will say that the lineup or Clarke/Kilmister/Taylor did have a synergy and a chemistry which has never quite been duplicated since. In no way does that declare anything about Motorhead's quality post that lineup (Another Perfect Day easily beats this), but there is a special sonic personality here. You could almost hear where punks mistook this as one of their own, as opposed to say, Bastards. That's a solid titanium metal album and there ain't no claiming otherwise. Which isn't to say Bomber is the most punk sounding album of the original lineup, either.

In conclusion, what a waste of awesome cover art. If there were a list of "weak albums with awesome cover art," this would have to be #1.

Recommended tracks:
Dead Men Tell No Tales



I give up. I feel like a mod needs to write the goddamn thing themselves for it to be acceptable. Hell I feel like the two mods that rejected it almost contradict each other.
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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:32 am 
 

TrooperEd wrote:
Sharpshooter would be a great song if not for that lame underdeveloped intro riff, which makes you want to hit the skip button within seconds. Which is a shame because the rest of the song is solid and that riff when shown in the proper context of the song works quite well.

That's a solid titanium metal album and there ain't no claiming otherwise. Which isn't to say Bomber is the most punk sounding album of the original lineup, either.


This is the poor sentence structure referred to.

TrooperEd wrote:
I give up.


Probably a good idea, your reviews kinda suck.

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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:55 am 
 

Zodijackyl wrote:
Probably a good idea, your reviews kinda suck.



Go piss on an electric generator you sad sack of cunt.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:57 am 
 

Now that you said that, they'll accept all your reviews without question!
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TrooperEd
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:18 pm
Posts: 2115
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:59 am 
 

Empyreal wrote:
Now that you said that, they'll accept all your reviews without question!


And now that you've said that, everyone will stop being an asshole! That's not what I was asking for dick. I only complained about one of my recent reviews getting rejected, not all of them. Telling me to stop writing altogether was completely unnecessary. I give back what's put out.
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