| Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives https://forum.metal-archives.com/ |
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| The Review Feedback Workshop https://forum.metal-archives.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=16487 |
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| Author: | Tanuki [ Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Looking good! Just two more quick things: "Firewind has delivered since Apollo entered the band in 2005" (no need for the comma after 'band') "Henning Base, known for his work with Metallium" Good luck when you submit it |
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| Author: | Palecompanion2001 [ Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
My revised version of my first review. Anything else I need to look for? Until we die, is a very talented one man melodic deathcore band out of Austria. "Before the decay of time," is their first full length album and quite possibly the best deathcore release of 2016. Deathcore as a genre has seen an extreme downfall becoming mostly generic and watered down chugging. Luckily this album really gives me hope that melodic deathcore can take a rise again and make deathcore have riffs again. The album is 13 tracks long including the bonus track, and around 43 minutes in length. Generally a little longer than most deathcore albums. It was released through Chugcore around the end of November 2016. It starts off with a nice soothing atmospheric intro and really gets straight to what this album is about. The melodic riffs are absolutely crushing on this album and are some of the best in the genre. Out of most melodic deathcore bands until we die easily has the best riffs. Until we die is really like if And Hell Followed with and The Black Dahlia Murder had a child and added crushing breakdowns. The riffs can sound similar throughout the album but it's extremely intriguing how they all sound and manage to keep my attention, the riffs are really my main attraction to this record. They really do remind me mostly of The Black Dahlia Murder. The album I would say it the epitome of melodic deathcore, keeping a lot of melodic death metal tendencies and riffs but still keeping brutal breakdowns with those old school deathcore roots. The vocals are extremely powerful. His lows are monstrous and extremely beefy is the best way I can describe it. His highs are ear piercing in a way, reminds me of Orion Stephens of In Dying Arms at times. There is a lot of vocal range on this album which is a great bonus. Also there is 310 bpm vocals on the song Forsake the Fallen so check that out. The drums are programmed, but sound very well for being programmed. The drums actually flow extremely throughout the album along with the riffs. Overall the album is full of talent, for one man I am very surprised on how this final product came out. The production on this album is so crisp and clean, Its really nice to listen too. This album is great and is really the best deathcore album of 2016. I highly recommend this album for fans of deathcore and melodic death metal. For fans of: The Black Dahlia Murder, And Hell Followed With, Angelmaker, and Rose Funeral. |
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| Author: | Diamhea [ Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Make sure to properly capitalise all band/album/song titles. |
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| Author: | PETERG [ Sat Apr 01, 2017 1:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Here is the review that i wrote for Wolfnacht's latest album. Please point out all my mistakes or things that you would change. It helps a lot. Thanks in advance! Ah nsbm... in the year of 2017 some may consider this sub-genre of black metal a joke grown old . It is true that we all had our fun, making funny impersonations of Adolf Hitler and shouting multiple "Sieg Heil" while listening to terrible bedroom black metal expressions from Satanic Warmaster to freaking Pagan Warrior 88. And here comes Wolfnacht to prove that nsbm can have a serious and nice approach at the same time. Innovative riffs, somehow different vocals and the ability to not follow any trend or aesthetic that makes this genre so gimmicky are some of the aspects that make one consider Athalwolf' s project something different from the barrages of idiotic neo-Nazis who picked a guitar and started playing music. So what makes this album so interesting? Well at first sight the sole fact that it is a concept album. As mentioned above Athalwolf gives us a plethora of mature and innovative songs in order to narrate his story. The story is really good albeit not something of extreme complexity; sorry this is not "Operation: Mindcrime" or "Metropolis Pt.2 : Scenes from a Memory" with blast beats and extreme vocals. Here we experience a really good storytelling with almost excellent flow as we witness how a Waffen SS group wanders around seeking the mythic Greek land of "Ypervoreia". This is indeed surprising and challenging in terms of listening as the only thing we have witnessesed in Wolfancht's previous attempts were the classic nsbm worships to the guy with the mustache and some pagan legends. Moreover the implementation of lyrics in the composer's mother language, Greek, makes the vibe on the tracks more exotic. Moving on to the instrumentation the guitars play the protagonist in setting up the atmosphere and feel of this black metal record. In this section we do not come by any surprises, instead we hear the classic personal style of the band : a lot of 6/4 rhythms and the classic influences from military marches usually combined with blast beats. What comes as a nice assert is the smart use of blast beats as they are slower than usual and with a more atmospheric tone. This at no point drives the whole thing down; on the other hand it ends as a pretty nice inclusion which gives dynamic and lyricism to the songs. Last but not least some riffs played in a classic guitar are used to connect the various rhythmic changes of the compositions, which is a lot better if you consider how awfully abused they are as cheesy fillers in most nsbm bands. The whole album gives the listener the feeling of traveling on his own and trying to find this legendary land. Having praised the album for its advantages let us pose some drawbacks that may be too obvious and appalling for someone who is not a fan of the genre. First of all it is weird that the production is so unbalanced. On the one the folk and orchestra parts have depth and a clear sound but on the other the more heavy parts have no bass at all. All right I know it is black metal where bass is not of much essence but this does not settle into something good. Especially when it is combined with that atrocious snare drum. God why so many bands use that terrible snare? It seems that after Drudkh's 2007 "Enstragement" many bands decide to copy the exact same snare in order to sound more... "kvlt" or something? The album is in some parts, for instance in the second track "Entrance to the Frigid Zone ", watered down by the sound of the snare drums which literally sounds like a combination of a tin can and a bucket. This is the only part in which somebody could say to Athalwolf " You do not need to make EVERYTHING different!". All things concluded if someone insults you for liking nsbm show them this album. As I said before it does not have the complexity that one might seek but it does not sound as bad as most of today's nsbm do. Now the only thing that is demanded from the band is to stick on this way and progress on their sound even more. Who knows maybe that way nsbm can become just a lyrical theme in the end rather than this cluster of bands that sound exactly the same. 75/100 |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sun Apr 02, 2017 4:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
I'm not going to spend more than 30 seconds on anything NSBM (not lower case, since this is an acronym), so this is what you get: get your punctuation in its proper places, edit the prolonged introductory phrases, and .. I dunno .. fuck wannabe Nazis. |
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| Author: | Empyreal [ Sun Apr 02, 2017 4:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Talking about NSBM like it's just another normal lyrical theme to have is so fucking bizarre to me. |
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| Author: | iRaptr [ Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Here it is my Twilight Force - Heroes on Mighty Magic review:
Spoiler:
show
Any help is appreciated and thanks in advance!
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Empyreal wrote: Talking about NSBM like it's just another normal lyrical theme to have is so fucking bizarre to me. I agree. It's pretty surreal. Not to mention that patronizing sigh at the beginning, "ah NSBM .. you silly little psychological plague ship." Shit gets under my skin, man. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I see no reason to argue with this exception. Categorically fuck that. |
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| Author: | PETERG [ Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm wrote: Empyreal wrote: Talking about NSBM like it's just another normal lyrical theme to have is so fucking bizarre to me. I agree. It's pretty surreal. Not to mention that patronizing sigh at the beginning, "ah NSBM .. you silly little psychological plague ship." Shit gets under my skin, man. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I see no reason to argue with this exception. Categorically fuck that. Thanks for the feedback both of you. I am going to poilish my text and correct my punctuation mistakes. I also think that the humorous apptoach of a in the introduction is not necessary. |
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| Author: | Quazar [ Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Hello... Can someone help me to make my reviews more acceptable? Prevail - War Will Reign (Death Metal)
Spoiler:
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Nothing Lies Beyond - Fragile Reality (Melodic Death Metal)
Spoiler:
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Any notes? |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Fri Apr 07, 2017 3:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Quazar wrote: Despite I wasn't much impressed by the ‘Bolt Thrower’ discography The reviews' English is up to a mod to determine the acceptability of, but it's good enough for me to work with the structure, even if it doesn't meet the minimum standards. I'll leave it up to any interested party to make those specific corrections as they are many, and my forehead would probably split. Compositionally speaking, they're comprehensible first drafts. The flow of ideas wanders, particularly in the second review. It's best to tighten up your organization and complete your thoughts on a general topic before moving on to the next topic (the value inherent in constructing at least a general outline). Also, just as a general point, avoid telling us how much research you didn't do. Either do that research or just tell us how much you know. Few people are going to read past "I didn't really look this band up before writing this." Formatting is a problem. Band names are proper nouns, like your own name. You don't put apostrophes around your own name, I hope. Read the site rules for formatting instructions. General editing is a major need. In some places, the wording is confusingly brief, in other places, there are unnecessary sentences. Try reading it out loud. Even if you don't know English as well as you'd like, I can already tell that you know it well enough for this technique to help you make phrasing and clarity improvements right away. Keep working on these. It's good practice, and learning to write in another language takes a lot of that. |
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| Author: | Quazar [ Sun Apr 09, 2017 7:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Thanks for reading :D Those apostrophes are just placeholders for the italic tags. Hope now looks better. Prevail - War Will Reign (Death Metal)
Spoiler:
show
Nothing Lies Beyond - Fragile Reality (Melodic Death Metal)
Spoiler:
show
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sun Apr 09, 2017 3:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Quazar, that's still wrong because band names aren't italicized. They're proper nouns, remember? Like your own name. Read the rules: The FAQ is at the top of the Reviews Discussion subforum. When you talk about something being good, or better than average, in the case of the vocals or "grunts," be more descriptive. This goes for all your points, really. If you're talking to someone who already knows what you're talking about (someone well familiarized with death metal), this might be enough to get an impression, but it's good practice to not assume that your reader has more than a general idea. A "better than average grunt" isn't much to go on. Fleshing out your descriptions will make your points more clearly, make your descriptions more accurate, and will work to stretch your vocabulary. (There are lots of dictionary sites online, but freedictionary.com has one of the better thesaurus sections I've found. Thesaurus.com fucking sucks.) Personally, I'd steer you away from the highlights and similarities sections at the end. Incorporate that information into the musical description of the review. |
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| Author: | Quazar [ Sun Apr 09, 2017 11:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm, I really appreciate your advices and promise to take it into account if I will write more reviews in future. However, I would be very grateful for any help with current rejection reasons (grammar/spelling). |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
See, I understand that. Not only is that pretty time consuming, it doesn't attend to what I consider to be the more substantial corrections. Imagine I do all that, and you spend no time at all on composition. You could just cut and paste my corrections, and I've essentially done your homework for you. I've done enough of that in the past. Besides, what's your hurry? I will do that for you once you've made some headway on the structural corrections and compositional work that, to me, matter way more to quality than a couple dozen technical issues. Someone else can do all that, if they really want to, but it's not going to be me until we work on some of the other issues together. |
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| Author: | Quazar [ Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Well... I did my best writing these reviews, but ok, I will try to improve it. I'm not pretending to be a professional reviewer, my only aim is just to support these specific bands. |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
So these are promotional pieces, or personal reviews? |
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| Author: | Quazar [ Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Obviously 100% of my reviews is my personal opinion. |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
[I was asked by Diamhea to copy/paste my review here, as he couldn't remember why he had rejected it, and was unable to view the link I had provided. I have been around since '06, but have just gotten into doing reviews. Last month I did one and it was accepted. I did this one, and the reason given was unclear; but, in the message that Diamhea sent to me he said "Then we can help you make it acceptable." This would mean alot, because I would like to start contributing more reviews. If I know what I am doing wrong, I can try to avoid it in the next one.] This is one ingenious, complexity of an album!!!! (This is the title of the review) O.k., so when I had entered this album into the Archives back in early March, I was listening to it.. however in being pre-occupied with updating the information, I wasn't really 'listening' to it exactly. I really hated that I did that. So, two nights ago I just happen to think of it, and listen to it uninterrupted, and completely. I wasn't really quite sure what I was listening to, and I do not mean that in a bad way. The complexity of this album is very intense, and as I was listening, it actually made me think. When was the last time I listened to an album that did that? I can't think of one.. With this album, Vladimyr obviously wanted to take his music into a much more profound direction. And, in doing so, you can really tell exactly just what he was wanting to accomplish with Return of the Dragon-Ant. I did not know this at the time, when I had entered in the album onto the Archives, but it's solely him on this new album, and when I was told this by Vladimyr himself the other evening when I had some questions about it, I was truly astounded! It is so good that you really can't tell.. I really had no idea. So, about Return of the Dragon-Ant, again like I had mentioned this album really made me think upon actually listening to the whole album. Vladimyr's style of black metal is still present throughout the album, in a few of the songs (but, not as completely all black metal, though). But, I certianly wasn't expecting the nice surprize of hearing excessive, deep-style gutteral growl, but then the smooth blending in of cold black metal vocals........ but, then, this album has so much melody to it, how he'll go from death metal singing then go really low with the range......... but, then blend in just a bit of melody to the sound. Key points to this album, are definitely his unique range of singing ability, the guitar work on here is exceptionally sensational!!!! On the tracks "Death Experiment" and "Bloodspree", you can really get the feel of everything, in what I'm trying to desribe............... the vocal melodies are just so riveting!!!!! I also really have to mention "Broken Seal", very slow, you can almost feel a sense of pain of emotion when listening to it. This is probably the most powerful song on the entire album. I am actually so touched when I listen to this one. But, basically, the whole album is just a serious delight to listen to. I feel I need to point out the last song "Hostile Apocalypse", here. Now, I have listened to this album quite a few times already (am also listening to it now, as I write this); but "Hostile Apocalypse", this is the one I keep on hitting the repeat button back to at the album's end. Absolute master at the keyboard, wasn't really expecting a song like this to be on an album like this; however I am really glad that it is on here, because it has become my favorite! As I love the entire album, two of the tracks just stand out to me, because they both seriously pull at my emotions and I feel like I am pulled into the songs when I am listening to, because I can honestly feel it. Those two tracks would be, "Broken Seal" and "Hostile Apocalypse". (Sometimes, I also finding myself hitting repeat with "Broken Seal", just for the sheer passion of it alone; because it is just so damn beautiful.) If you thrive off both a mixture of death and black metal, but want something extremely different than what's all out there, I strongly suggest checking this album out. Truly, in all honesty it is a masterpiece! |
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| Author: | Tanuki [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Hey Spider I like what you were saying in the first two paragraphs: the juxtaposition between "listening but not really paying attention", but then it pulling you in the second time? That's good, but it could've been more concise. You mentioned adding the album to the archives twice, but in a review, that doesn't need to be said once. Try to avoid all of the "okay's" and "so's". A review can be a little bit casual, but it shouldn't sound like a phone conversation. I noticed a lot of unnecessary words like "I wasn't really quite sure". "I wasn't sure" would work fine, and it's a lot simpler to read. Compare "You can really tell exactly just what he was wanting to accomplish" versus "You can tell what he was trying to accomplish." I would also take out the ellipses and multiple exclamation marks, as it makes the whole thing look unprofessional. Finally, make sure to run your review through a spell-checker. I noticed 'surprize' and some typos like 'desribe' and 'certianly'. As for the music: It's emotional, it's different, and it's a mixture of death and black metal. That's cool, but it doesn't really tell me how it sounds. The production quality - clean or fuzzy? The song structure - unpredictable or repetitive? The riffs and vocals - what could you compare him to? Do leads sound medieval like Dissection, does the vocalist sound like Ihsahn, etc? Imagine you're someone else reading your review. You'd need more than just "it's powerful" to convince you to check it out, right? Good luck! |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Tanuki wrote: Hey Spider I like what you were saying in the first two paragraphs: the juxtaposition between "listening but not really paying attention", but then it pulling you in the second time? That's good, but it could've been more concise. You mentioned adding the album to the archives twice, but in a review, that doesn't need to be said once. Try to avoid all of the "okay's" and "so's". A review can be a little bit casual, but it shouldn't sound like a phone conversation. I noticed a lot of unnecessary words like "I wasn't really quite sure". "I wasn't sure" would work fine, and it's a lot simpler to read. Compare "You can really tell exactly just what he was wanting to accomplish" versus "You can tell what he was trying to accomplish." I would also take out the ellipses and multiple exclamation marks, as it makes the whole thing look unprofessional. Finally, make sure to run your review through a spell-checker. I noticed 'surprize' and some typos like 'desribe' and 'certianly'. As for the music: It's emotional, it's different, and it's a mixture of death and black metal. That's cool, but it doesn't really tell me how it sounds. The production quality - clean or fuzzy? The song structure - unpredictable or repetitive? The riffs and vocals - what could you compare him to? Do leads sound medieval like Dissection, does the vocalist sound like Ihsahn, etc? Imagine you're someone else reading your review. You'd need more than just "it's powerful" to convince you to check it out, right? Good luck! Well, I don't know if that was what all what Diamhea found wrong with it, but that does help immensely! I do appreciate your input. I wonder if I should wait for him to comment before I revise my review? |
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| Author: | Tanuki [ Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Spider_X wrote: Well, I don't know if that was what all what Diamhea found wrong with it, but that does help immensely! I do appreciate your input. I wonder if I should wait for him to comment before I revise my review? Diamhea is looking for reviews that follow the rules and guidelines (which can be seen here). The general idea is a clear description of the music with minimal spelling/grammar mistakes, all while avoiding a "track-by-track" style. So after you work on your review a bit, it's up to you whether you want to post the second draft here in this forum, or resubmit it to the queue. And no prob, glad I could help out |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Tanuki wrote: Spider_X wrote: Well, I don't know if that was what all what Diamhea found wrong with it, but that does help immensely! I do appreciate your input. I wonder if I should wait for him to comment before I revise my review? Diamhea is looking for reviews that follow the rules and guidelines (which can be seen here). The general idea is a clear description of the music with minimal spelling/grammar mistakes, all while avoiding a "track-by-track" style. So after you work on your review a bit, it's up to you whether you want to post the second draft here in this forum, or resubmit it to the queue. And no prob, glad I could help out Sorry, for the late reply back. I am actually about to start revising my review. After looking back on what I had written, I really can't believe all the mistakes that I had made! I really am glad that Diamhea suggested that I post it in here, for again you really have been a tremendous help, Tanuki! If, when I revise it, and (if) it by chance still gets rejected I will post it here again for further help. But, if I can have one successful review, I am sure I can get this one done
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| Author: | Tanuki [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
No problem! You have a lot of energy and enthusiasm in your writing, and you can take criticism well, so those are two really good signs. If you can trim the wordcount down, describe the music, and fix some of the minor spelling/grammar issues, you should be A-OK |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Fri Apr 14, 2017 6:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Spider_X wrote: This is one ingenious, complexity of an album!!!! (This is the title of the review) Notes in the spoiler.
Spoiler:
show
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Sorry about my late reply back. I did read this the day it was written, but because of the (edited response) was unsure of how to respond, I needed time to think. So, I left until I could think of what was best to say. First of all, I guess my last response was overlooked(?) "If, when I revise it, and (if) it by chance still gets rejected I will post it here again for further help. But, if I can have one successful review, I am sure I can get this one done" Because, even though I appreciate that you (Grave_Wyrm) going through the effort of correcting my first run, I had actually already had done another revision and Diamhea had already read it, because I had messaged him. I apologise for any miscommunication on my part. Either way, it still failed (my second attempt). Over a month ago, I was thrilled after being a member for over 10 years and deciding to try my hand at reviews, to do one with Asylum, and it getting accepted without any trouble, I was so happy, and Asylum was actually so thrilled! I tried again with Morbid Angel...... failed instantly, was deemed too personal a review, did not know how to make it non-personal so I scrapped it, didn't make a big deal of that one. With this one, with Tanuki's suggestions I did realise I was making quite a bit of errors that I had not noticed. However, even after still revising it, it still wasn't right, and with my high anxiety levels (+bipolar) this is really just a bit too much for what should be for just a (simple?) review? To answer your questions, I do not have a learning disability, nor a language barrier, only have ever spoken English I know no other language, I do not mean for that to be disturbing Maybe it is due to my bipolar/anxiety? I do not know? But, it is weird that I can have one successful review and fail miserably at others I try at.. But, I think maybe I should just be content for the one that I do have successful ![]() I do honestly appreciate all of your help though, I do mean that but, I think with my stress level, I probably shouldn't be doing these..??
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| Author: | MatsBG [ Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Hi! I would love to recieve some feedback on my review of the latest Hellwell release. I tried to describe the music as best I could, but perhaps I have spent too much time comparing the release to that of Manilla Road's discography? And does the rating reflect the review accurately? Any feedback is of course welcome.
Spoiler:
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Spider_X wrote: I do honestly appreciate all of your help though, I do mean that but, I think with my stress level, I probably shouldn't be doing these..??I don't know about that. Just write normally, like you would under reasonably professional circumstances. It's pretty basic stuff, which I'm sure you know by now. Over thinking it will increase your stress, so just stick to the basics. English composition is pretty easy, it's just a matter of technical rules. I'll bear your situation in mind when you write things. Don't give up. If you're interested, we're here to help. It takes practice, and this is a safe place to do it. It's not a pandering place, though, but I doubt you'd even want that in the first place. Just do things you basically feel proud of, don't worry about impressing anyone. Cover the basics and we'll take it from there. We can totally work together on this. Don't stress, just apply yourself. |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm wrote: Spider_X wrote: I do honestly appreciate all of your help though, I do mean that but, I think with my stress level, I probably shouldn't be doing these..??I don't know about that. Just write normally, like you would under reasonably professional circumstances. It's pretty basic stuff, which I'm sure you know by now. Over thinking it will increase your stress, so just stick to the basics. English composition is pretty easy, it's just a matter of technical rules. I'll bear your situation in mind when you write things. Don't give up. If you're interested, we're here to help. It takes practice, and this is a safe place to do it. It's not a pandering place, though, but I doubt you'd even want that in the first place. Just do things you basically feel proud of, don't worry about impressing anyone. Cover the basics and we'll take it from there. We can totally work together on this. Don't stress, just apply yourself. This is probably my problem, I do "over think" alot! Well, if you're not going to give up on me, I shouldn't give up on myself, either So, I will try to do this! Give me a couple of days to really think about how to rewrite this, then after I do, I will post it, and I guess when you have the time, you can read it and I guess we'll take it from there? Part of my problem as in dealing with my anxiety is when I really love something, I am probably too overtly expressive about it. I don't mean to be that way, it just happens.
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Honestly, overexpression will not be a problem here in the Workshop. It's much easier to vomit out everything and then edit it down. Take your time. This is a place where you should, ultimately, just be yourself. Use this as practice in managing anxiety. As an external point of reference, remember that the stakes are really, really low. Whatever amount of personal investment you put into any given project is up to you. Work on it gradually. There's nothing to prove here. We provide a chance to explore independent thinking and build the self-confidence that comes with gradual improvement. |
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| Author: | MetalCuresHeadaches [ Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
I'm looking to start contributing more reviews. I have a review that's already accepted, but I'm just looking for some general feedback to help hone my output. Any feedback is appreciated. |
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| Author: | gasmask_colostomy [ Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
MetalCuresHeadaches wrote: I'm looking to start contributing more reviews. I have a review that's already accepted, but I'm just looking for some general feedback to help hone my output. Any feedback is appreciated. To be honest, that seems like a good review given the material you were working with. It adequately summarises the music without adding unnecessary detail and it provides a personal perspective without being entirely subjective. My only suggestion would be to find a release that doesn't suck to review! Keep it up. |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm wrote: Honestly, overexpression will not be a problem here in the Workshop. It's much easier to vomit out everything and then edit it down. Take your time. This is a place where you should, ultimately, just be yourself. Use this as practice in managing anxiety. As an external point of reference, remember that the stakes are really, really low. Whatever amount of personal investment you put into any given project is up to you. Work on it gradually. There's nothing to prove here. We provide a chance to explore independent thinking and build the self-confidence that comes with gradual improvement. I have been busy the past few days, I am actually about to start working on this now. Hopefully, I can make some changes that will make a difference I will post here first for you to proofread (Grave_Wyrm), instead of me just submitting it; I will wait and do that when you give the go-ahead that it's 100% acceptable. I should have this posted here, within a few hours. And, thank you so much again for you taking the time to want to help me; that really means alot.
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
You're welcome! That's why this thread was created. For the record, I'm not a moderator, just a conscious citizen. While I have a pretty good idea of what makes an acceptable review, only listen to a moderator about whether work is site-ready. I look forward to reading it and offering my thoughts, nonetheless. |
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| Author: | MATTDEATH45 [ Fri Apr 28, 2017 12:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
hey guys this is my first review, im doing it for the album a celebration of guilt from arsis, and i wish i could have some feedback so i can work on whatever is wrong (if there is). thank you very much! Okay, now I have to say that I took a couple of days to realise what was in front of me. And is already worth mention that Arsis can't be entitled a melodic death metal band, because they have a much elaborate structure in their songs, specially in the instrumental aspect. So anyone could easily qualify them as technical melodic death metal. One of the several new categories that keep emerging in the trends of metal in the 20th century, created from the melodic death metal as we know (At the Gates, In Flames old school) combined with the instrumental technique of bands like Decapitated and Psycroptic. We got besides Arsis, such good bands that support the style like: Allegaeon, Bloodshot dawn and Quo vadis. This album is complex. It's technical and got well thinking music for headbangers that likes serious work and unique stuff. It's not just the same brutal shit or that melodic death metal sound with no identidy at all. This cd passes to the listener an orchestra of death metal in every song. Especially the ones who have this quality in exaltation, like the "Wholly Night" and "Madenning Dismain". In fact, this cd gets the metalhead's attention for that matter: he is completly unique. The drums, the vocals, the guitar, everything. James Malone is one of the most eloquent and revolutionary guitarists I've ever heard in death metal, that's a fact. The guy is a monster, playing and developing a amount of unique and intricated riffs (and not to mention the monstrous solos), while developing an extremely difficult vocal, a total singular one that acutes to melodic death, but with a more dark and morbid touch, not taking influences of the typical american screamo (like a lot of melodic death bands that come to USA does). Only a genius can work like that, in such a complex way and at the same time without sounding monotonous. The drums is at the same level of james Malone's guitar. They're insane and professional, leading to Michael Van Dyne a prestigious name for any band that wants an outstanding drummer. Memorable could be easily his other name, because the drums work not only in being complex and to mark the tempo, but participates as any other instrument, almost creating melodies with the music. The lyrics and all songs are markable, with its unique moments which transform them into a work of punishing and fine art. The opening track "The Face of My Innocence" its an anthem to the band and opens the album in no better way. Showing right in your face what Arsis is about. Then we have just great songs in their own ways (somethig that a fuckin loadsome of death metal and melodic death metal musicians fail to do in their albums). We got "Maddening Dismain", "Seven Whispers Fell Silent", "Return" and a lot of other songs that do the exact same thing that "Maddening Dismain" does: combine the melody and the brutality with perfection, giving the strenght and the air that the songs need to keep going strong. Taking just "Worship Depraved" (but that is just in my opinion) all the others songs are classics. And in my opinion again, "Wholly Night" is just a fuckin tremendous masterpiece of melodic death metal, the best song in the album. The chorus is something beatiful and at the same time, doesn't make the song soft or "easy". On the contrary: keeps the song going strong like fuckin metal should be. Its how I mentioned: its a little bit complex, but if the thing gets you, youre going to have another favourite band on your list. Its a shame that these guys couldn't developed the same material in other albums, but with "A Celebration Of Guilt" Arsis put their names on the wall for sure. Its melodic death metal in that way: melodic, AND death. Its original, its different, its music for headbanger's ears. That's it. |
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| Author: | TrooperEd [ Fri Apr 28, 2017 2:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Markable? Don't you mean remarkable? Or perhaps marketable? |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Sat Apr 29, 2017 6:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
What is "a fuckin loadsome"? The English is pretty choppy and the descriptions are thin. The general flow of it is reasonably cohesive, but the fragment sentences really get to me. Proofread your grammar. MATTDEATH45 wrote: One of the several new categories that keep emerging in the trends of metal in the 20th century, created from the melodic death metal as we know (At the Gates, In Flames old school) combined with the instrumental technique of bands like Decapitated and Psycroptic. The drums, the vocals, the guitar, everything. Showing right in your face what Arsis is about. These are fragment sentences. MATTDEATH45 wrote: The guy is a monster, playing and developing a amount of unique and intricated riffs (and not to mention the monstrous solos), while developing an extremely difficult vocal, a total singular one that acutes to melodic death, but with a more dark and morbid touch, not taking influences of the typical american screamo (like a lot of melodic death bands that come to USA does). This is a run-on sentence. MATTDEATH45 wrote: Taking just "Worship Depraved" (but that is just in my opinion) all the others songs are classics. This is a confusing sentence. |
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| Author: | Spider_X [ Tue May 02, 2017 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Grave_Wyrm wrote: You're welcome! That's why this thread was created. For the record, I'm not a moderator, just a conscious citizen. While I have a pretty good idea of what makes an acceptable review, only listen to a moderator about whether work is site-ready. I look forward to reading it and offering my thoughts, nonetheless. Thanks! Just so you don't think I've just up and left my review just sitting here just got alot of stuff going on, and then also I am thinking about just (honestly) scrapping this one, and maybe starting all over? I say this, because everytime I try to rewrite from what I'm looking at, I'm kind of getting a bit frustrated, because I can't get it to make sense.I think I really just need a fresh start. I (DO) want to do this.. but, this may take me a little longer than I was thinking.. this is really weird, I know I have mentioned before, but my first one, the Asylum one, that one came so easy! This one seems to be a bit more complex, and I can't seem to figure out why? Anyway..... Thank you for you patience Grave_Wyrm, I am looking forward to you reading it! Maybe, by the weekend I can get this rewritten. |
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| Author: | Grave_Wyrm [ Wed May 03, 2017 9:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
Spider_X wrote: Thank you for you patience Grave_Wyrm, I am looking forward to you reading it! Maybe, by the weekend I can get this rewritten. No sweat. This is a relatively new hobby, so it will naturally take some time to get into the flow. If you aren't feeling particularly inspired by your subject, feel free to come back to it and write about something different in the meantime. A good life goal in general is to not do much of anything that feels like a waste of your time. |
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| Author: | Corpus47 [ Tue May 09, 2017 4:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Review Feedback Workshop |
This is my fourth review, but the first that's been rejected. I'm on my third iteration now. I think I addressed a lot of the concerns the moderator had about the first draft, so the second rejection indicated that the draft was "Nearly there." I'd like to avoid wasting any more of the moderators' time by seeing if I can hammer out the last remaining request for change here. Info that might be important: Band: Adastreia Album: That Which Lies Within My Rating: 45% (if that matters) Here is the review the moderator responded to (my 2nd review overall):
Spoiler:
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Here is the moderator's instruction on remand:
Spoiler:
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And here is what I have so far in the way of changes.
Spoiler:
show
Any feedback would be appreciated. Edit note: I see that the tags don't display in spoilers. Hopefully that's not too distracting. |
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