At least he mentioned that Ross the Boss is great, I'll give him that. But that's like saying oxygen is useful, you know? Oh, can you see what he did with the "epic fail" bits? Oh, it's cuz it's an epic album! Oh, haha! Honestly, why can't people apologise for their bad puns like me?

At least he mentioned that Ross the Boss is great, I'll give him that. But that's like saying oxygen is useful, you know? Oh, can you see what he did with the "epic fail" bits? Oh, it's cuz it's an epic album! Oh, haha! Honestly, why can't people apologise for their bad puns like me?

The lyrics are all about subjects such as how badass Sven is, how bad Sven’s ass is, how big his army of metal demons is, how his accent can slay dragons, how his accent can slay posers, et cetera. There’s a line between fun cheesy lyrics and embarrassing cheesy lyrics, and apparently someone told the guys from Wizard that there were naked Valkyries on the latter side.

Any so-called death metal fan who claims to dislike this album should be ostracized and ignored.

Well I don't intentionally seek attention for my reviews beyond what is considered normal on here, but it gets a little frustrating when people complain that I don't review obscure stuff when the only reviews they've read by me are my unobscure reviews and I'm renouned here for being a big time virgin album cherry popper during review challenges. If people genuinely don't like my deathcore reviews, I'm cool with that, but saying that I only review popular albums is an obvious falsehood that a quick perusing of the titles on my review archives will demonstrate.



I was basically joking when I said it, it was on the ovenfodder thread when that big debate was going on about your Slough Feg review (which I actually defended). I do get a little bit annoyed with some of the reviews your fellow members in that group put up with regards to Ensiferum and a few others, but I'm well over the concept of ripping on you guys anymore. I'm only an occasional follower of Folk Metal and don't necessarily consider it my absolute bread and butter.



No I agree with you on this. The thing is that I usually spend more time loving the hell out of Power, Thrash and Doom metal and am surprised that everyone is taking notice now that I've decided to sample some of deathcore's offerings. Maybe my reviewing patterns have become so routine that people think that I'm selling out or something by occasionally bashing something not regularly in my repertoire.

Anyway, one thing that made me raise my eyebrows was the opening sentence of Noktorn's review for Cannibal Corpse - Butchered At Birth.

On the contrary, any album that has Chris Barnes' vocals on it should be ostracized and ignored.

Barnes is one of the best vocalists of all time. His vocals on Butchered are ear-fucking material. Tomb of the Mutilated has some incredibly guttural vocals too, but the production ruins it. Listen to the bonus tracks though (The Excorcist and Zero to hero), the guitar tone feels "wider" and as a result the vocals actually feel guttural and just simply awesome. Not pig squeel gutturalness either, but actual deep low growls that sound like Barney Greenway's vocals pitchshifted a hundred levels down.

As for me, I've been enjoying many of your recent reviews of black metal albums.. Like saintinhell, I don't take the rating much into account and it seems to me that these offer a fairly fresh perspective, at a guess because many of these albums, deemed classics but generally only hailed by black metall enthusiasts, are new to you. This isn't meant to suggest that you're a "newby" to black metal (I really haven't a clue how long you've been listening to this type of music) but reading what you have to say about Darkthrone, Enslaved, Beherit et al reminds me of how I first felt when I started acclimatising to the style in the late 90s.

Well, I guess I'm the only Barnes fan around these parts.

Well, I guess I'm the only Barnes fan around these parts

No, you are not alone. I am not a "fan" as such and Corpsegrinder is a better vocalist than Barnes, but eh, give me Corpse with Barnes, I think they simply made some of their best music at that time and while Barnes may not be the definitive death metal vocalist in my book, I have no complaints with his style at all and it adds to the appeal of the early Corpse albums.

I like Corpsegrinder on Monstrosity's Imperial Doom but his work with Cannibal Corpse never appealed to me, vocally or musically (except the last three albums, Kill is growing on me ) but I can't understand how anyone can like his vocal performance on those three albums, especially Evisceration Plague. Also, is it just me, or does he have more of a 'toughguy' voice in Cannibal Corpse (as compared to his vocals on Imperial Doom)

Eh, the defining point of early CC has always been their slower grooves and Barnes' vocals. That's just me, though.

This, however, isn't the happy ultraliberal idealism of the Dead Kennedys - here, the truth is flat-out: "world peace can't be done!".

DK wrote some of the most cynical lyrics I've ever read.

However, Tsamis’ ego seems to rule, with negative results to this album. He tries to do everything. Why? What does he want to prove? He’s an excellent composer, good lyricist and capable guitarist. So, why to play bass and keyboards too? Does he think that he’s god? I’m sure that if he could sing and play drums as well he would do it also there, creating the first metal band with... only one member! Unfortunately, although he’s not tragic as a keyboard player, he is not exceptional too. He’s only well-desciplined.

If you imagine a three-way between early Manilla Road, Dianno-era Iron Maiden, and Cirith Ungol with some Motorhead thrown in you'll get a bit of an idea.

I found this sentence strangely arousing:



No umlaut on Motörhead, for shame...

This album is all about winter. Summer ain’t got shit on winter, bitch. Winter’s got frostbitten motherfuckers all up in your PIECE. Winter’s the fucking bomb. Winter’s ice cold, motherfucker. You don’t fuck with winter. The guy who made this, you know his name? That’s right, motherfucker. Winter.

Written by and for the comatose. - 35%

Wait, I thought my title suggestion was "too obvious"?

I couldn't stand the eyes looking at me.

Also, I find it pretty funny that Abom's review for Into Battle does not at all reflect his current opinion on the album...he's a total BH fanboy now.

...he's a total BH fanboy now.

Another old one that doesn't quite reflect my views anymore is my review for Manilla Road's "Out of the Abyss". That one dates back to 2002, when I was just discovering the band.

While reading the reviews that proceed this one, you may find that the reviews are not too high. The fact is this album is an essential piece of innovative blackened doom metal. The childish snarls at this album by the elitists that frequent this site are coming from the kids walking around your local mall with their reprinted Darkthrone shirts and who will argue almost to tears that Nachtmystium is underground. This is a mature piece of music reeking of raw emotion and modern experience.

oh dear oh dear oh dear. Some idiot on Woods of Ypres's shitty Allure/Pursuit thing:

oh dear oh dear oh dear. Some idiot on Woods of Ypres's shitty Allure/Pursuit thing:

i never read a review for an album that I am planning on writing a review for , in fact I wait until my review gets accepted and then usaually give it a week or two .

How does the album sound? Imagine putting Poison, Whitesnake, and Winger in a room. The ceiling opens up, and urine rains down upon them. As the fruits in question are trying to save their perms, the ceiling opens again and gasoline pours down. Now really vexed and wondering when they can get a salon appointment, none of the band members notice that slits have opened up in the walls, and the nozzles of flame-throwers are poking out. Next thing you know, Yngwie’s standing in a pile of ashes and melted jewellery bending his axe strings all over the place with an orgasmic expression on his face.

8 sitars accompanied by triangles and tiny organs out of 10.

Honestly, that whole review had me laughing and makes me want to listen to the album. It's very difficult to deny THIS kind of rating:

(I have no idea what that's even supposed to mean, but I like it.)

The more I read it, the more it becomes the BEST REVIEW EVER! No, seriously, what the hell is a tiny organ? Sounds like something you'd be ashamed to show a woman.

I think it's very important to read the other reviews for anything you're considering reviewing. This is especially the case when it comes to releases with a lot of reviews, you wouldn't want to reiterating other peoples' ideas. Also, putting things in context of what others have said isn't always a bad thing.

The more I read it, the more it becomes the BEST REVIEW EVER! No, seriously, what the hell is a tiny organ? Sounds like something you'd be ashamed to show a woman.

I think it's very important to read the other reviews for anything you're considering reviewing. This is especially the case when it comes to releases with a lot of reviews, you wouldn't want to reiterating other peoples' ideas. Also, putting things in context of what others have said isn't always a bad thing.

I would have to disagree , I find reading other's opinion about an album tends to get in the way of how you really feel about the music .

I usually don't care if someone dislikes, hates or would buy dozens of cds of an artist I like just to burn them while laughing maniacally, but Malacoda, besides giving 20 to Obscura's Cosmogenesis (http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=223077#189527), says it utterly sucks in a... more than questionable way. It's not just a part that is bad but the whole short review, I wonder if he even listened to the album. And there is almost no musical description. Just read the review and you'll understand.

A couple of highlights: "Cosmogenesis is not a metal release [...] ... and standard metal drums. [...] there is a growling vocalist [...] do not have the necessary characteristic of death growls - anger!" or "Obscura sound like a band that has nothing better to do than play mediocre technical death metal, which they are not trying especially hard to play." (that must mean it REALLY sucks.)

Hell not so much death metal vocalists sound angry... surely not Necrophagist! and they supposedly are raw too. and more coherent in songwriting. He says the band doesn't work, does unmemorable shred... And he gave Xenosapien 90. He contradicts and contradicts himself. I mean like I said I couldn't care less if someones hates anything I like but come on, he could say "OMG the new absu suck, it's no tara pt. 2, Proscriptor is so sold out" or some other sentence of the type that I can make me understand why someone doesn't like it, instead I can't understand at all. Well it made me laugh.