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MaDTransilvanian
Caravan Beyond Redemption

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Posts: 3839
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:37 pm 
 

Azmodes wrote:
I don't see what's so idiotic about that review. He didn't say that the band consists of gypsies, he was just using that term to refer to his subjective impression regarding the texture of the melodies. Hence the quotation marks, both times. I can see why that would annoy you, and yeah, it's certainly a cliché, but it's a convenience that serves to give the reader a certain picture of the music, and not necessarily a wrong one at that.
Mind you, I haven't heard the album in question, so he could be wrong about this and some other stuff, but from what I can see, it's a decent review.


The review itself is pretty good, no qualms about it short of the Gypsy thing. But that thing does come off as: "The band's from Romania so they must be Gypsies", especially during the Blut Aus Nord comparison. Thing is, it's apparent that he just assumes that because it's Romanian and has a folk sound is sounds "gypsy" but that's completely false, there's a fuckload of Romanian folk music which has NOTHING to do with Gypsies and he can't grasp that.

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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:01 pm 
 

He can grasp that. No need to take it as an insult to your race. He was simply ignorant of the facts, or didn't really think about it. Why not shoot him a message explaining the difference instead of sperging out over it?
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MacMoney
Man of the Cloth

Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:17 pm
Posts: 2189
PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:34 pm 
 

MaDTransilvanian wrote:
The review itself is pretty good, no qualms about it short of the Gypsy thing. But that thing does come off as: "The band's from Romania so they must be Gypsies", especially during the Blut Aus Nord comparison. Thing is, it's apparent that he just assumes that because it's Romanian and has a folk sound is sounds "gypsy" but that's completely false, there's a fuckload of Romanian folk music which has NOTHING to do with Gypsies and he can't grasp that.


Let's face it: Out in the world, you people are mostly known as either gypsies or for Ceaucescu.

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MaDTransilvanian
Caravan Beyond Redemption

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:56 pm
Posts: 3839
Location: Romania
PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 7:54 pm 
 

Zoldaten_ov_Zatan wrote:
He can grasp that. No need to take it as an insult to your race. He was simply ignorant of the facts, or didn't really think about it. Why not shoot him a message explaining the difference instead of sperging out over it?


Mostly because I haven't seen him do anything since 2004 and he has no email listed.

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SharpAndSlender
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:49 am
Posts: 2260
Location: Bradenton, Florida
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:39 pm 
 

Alexlovestheredchord on Nadja - "Slower then Plutonian time."

Someone needs to inform the young man that time does not actually move any slower on Pluto, the days are just longer due to slower rotation. Time itself moves at exactly the same pace.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6313
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:42 pm 
 

Was it really worth posting that? That's neither good, bad nor what the christ.
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ScourgeOfDeath
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:35 am
Posts: 1083
Location: India
PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:50 pm 
 

Seemed more like a 'look at me, I am a retard trying to be funny' moment.
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Ilwhyan
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8154
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:01 am 
 

I found it funny that he mispelled "then" in a review title. Still that's not really worth posting here, and SharpAndSlender is just being a nitpicky moron.
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8411
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:28 am 
 

Ilwhyan wrote:
I found it funny that he mispelled "then" in a review title. Still that's not really worth posting here, and SharpAndSlender is just being a nitpicky moron.


It's actually a blatant caspian homage, as you know:

NADJA IS HEAVIER THEN THIS!!
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EntilZha
Retired

Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:22 pm
Posts: 2119
PostPosted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:40 am 
 

First the album is slower and then it's time for Plutonian.
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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 2:59 am 
 

So, anyone else find it troubling how often nok makes penile references in his reviews? Particularly self-referential penile references.
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zeingard
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:49 pm
Posts: 610
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:34 pm 
 

Zoldaten_ov_Zatan wrote:
So, anyone else find it troubling how often nok makes penile references in his reviews? Particularly self-referential penile references.


It's Noktorn, that's just how he rolls. Bit hard to imagine him not making a reference to his genitalia at least once every review or two.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:29 pm
Posts: 6313
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:44 pm 
 

The new Manowar review is fairly bad, the one before it's worse:

Quote:
So the message is, don't care what anybody says, do whatever you want even if it means breaking the law. Well, that's just silly.


Just struck me as a really stupid damn line. What does he expect them to encourage? Being a law abiding citizen and getting an accountant degree?
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WebOfPiss
Myopic Void

Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:17 pm
Posts: 3028
Location: Presidio Modelo
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:56 pm 
 

Well it's an AlexLovesTheRedChord review, of course it's going to be pure shit and full of stupidity.

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caspian
Wanderer of the Wastes

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Location: Australia
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:36 pm 
 

nah, this is the one after the Alex review (which is also shit). I should point out that I'm not a huge fan of louder then hell lest that post get confused with butthurt whining, either
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Acrobat
Eric Olthwaite

Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am
Posts: 8411
Location: York, North Yorkshire
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:12 am 
 

zeingard wrote:
Zoldaten_ov_Zatan wrote:
So, anyone else find it troubling how often nok makes penile references in his reviews? Particularly self-referential penile references.


It's Noktorn, that's just how he rolls. Bit hard to imagine him not making a reference to his genitalia at least once every review or two.


Surely it's better to reference your own penis than someone else's? Just a thought...

Alexlovestheredchord is not only shite -- but factually inaccurate:

stupidity wrote:
let me credit Eric Adams with being an absolute lyrical genius, with such immortal lines as: “If you like metal, you’re my friend”


I believe Joey writes all the lyrics. Besides, writing Manowar off because of Louder Than Hell is like saying Iron Maiden is a shitty band because they put out The X Factor.
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Spiner202
Metalhead

Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 3:32 pm
Posts: 2092
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:07 am 
 

ANationalAcrobat wrote:
Alexlovestheredchord is not only shite -- but factually inaccurate:

stupidity wrote:
let me credit Eric Adams with being an absolute lyrical genius, with such immortal lines as: “If you like metal, you’re my friend”


I believe Joey writes all the lyrics. Besides, writing Manowar off because of Louder Than Hell is like saying Iron Maiden is a shitty band because they put out The X Factor.


I've only listened to that album once, so maybe I missed that line but isn't it "if you don't like metal, you're not my friend" from The Triumph of Steel (the second song, forget the name).

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MetalSupremacy
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:45 am
Posts: 220
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:23 pm 
 

ANationalAcrobat wrote:
Alexlovestheredchord is not only shite -- but factually inaccurate:

stupidity wrote:
let me credit Eric Adams with being an absolute lyrical genius, with such immortal lines as: “If you like metal, you’re my friend”


I believe Joey writes all the lyrics. Besides, writing Manowar off because of Louder Than Hell is like saying Iron Maiden is a shitty band because they put out The X Factor.


Good point.

Not only that, but the guy has absolutely TONS of spelling errors. So much for being an "English major". Worse, he actually gets loads of things incorrect. Not just once or twice either, but all the time. Just look at these tidbits from his Painkiller review:

alexlovestheredchord wrote:
That is to say in some intelligible fashion that the album is pure “metal”, what is this term that I find myself unable to grasp? That term is “Painkiller” in all of my circular logic to come to terms with how “metal” the album is, stupidity aside “Painkiller” is one hell of an album and my futile attempts to describe it failure to do it any justice.


Quote:
The album however is one of the band’s finest in response to some of the backlash many older fans have given it.


What does this even mean? He's probably talking about how there was a backlash against Priest after Turbo and Ram It Down, and Painkiller was their response to that, but he's worded it really badly.

Quote:
Tipton starts off with a nice “wanking” solo on “Metal Command”, Halford hit’s some unbelievably falsettos and utters some pretty creepy King diamond-esque chants when he grunts “Here comes the mettttall meltdown”. The next track is a world unto itself with its eerie keyboard intro and bell sounds used, the chorus is kind of repetitive but the solo makes up for it dramatically and even blends in with the keyboard intro from the beginning. “Between the hammer in the anvil” has some clear nods for older fans to enjoy with its powerful opening riff. The drums churn like in the midst of a storm, but the opening riff is woefully weak and does nothing for the song.


Not only does he actually give these songs the wrong names and miss out the word "high" in-between "unbelievably" and "falsettos", he then goes and contradicts himself by claiming Between The Hammer And The Anvil has a powerful opening riff, and then says that the opening riff is weak. :roll:

Quote:
While most older fans will be pissed at some of the more modern inclusions (good production, double bass, and well excellence).


Besides the obvious bad grammar here in that he uses "while" but ends with a full stop and no other reason, he's ridiculously ignorant if he thinks most older fans automatically hate all albums with good productions.

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Byrgan
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:35 pm
Posts: 406
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:36 am 
 

Since alexlovestheredchord is on tap for bitter beer, I'll add that he shot himself in the foot with his give-me-attention review of Lead and Aether for me. I read the title, score, and then the period in the first sentence held up a stop sign. I obeyed the law and screeched on my brakes. It came off as someone with an identity crisis, and the message boards or shooting the shit with your buds is better for this kind development or learning curve. Plus jumping right into one of their older genre specific recordings was more reason to question his motivations behind reviewing it, since their newest album is the most accessible to a more general audience.

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failsafeman
Digital Dictator

Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2004 8:45 am
Posts: 11863
Location: In the Arena
PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:23 am 
 

Yeah every one of Alex's reviews I've read is just terrible. I'm going to go through his output because I simply cannot believe all of it is acceptable. Do not be surprised if you see his review total dwindle.
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KerberosOfHades
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:40 am
Posts: 485
Location: New Zealand
PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:46 am 
 

failsafeman wrote:
Yeah every one of Alex's reviews I've read is just terrible. I'm going to go through his output because I simply cannot believe all of it is acceptable. Do not be surprised if you see his review total dwindle.


Thank you God. :bow:

But on topic, I feel this passage by Droneriot deserves a mention under the good category, for his review of the Napalm Death/Electrohippies split.

droneriot wrote:
Completely retarded bullshit. To think of how much effort some people put into getting into the Guinness book of world records, this must feel like a slap in the face for all those people who spent like ten years practicing juggling 25 live chicken while riding a unicycle back and forth on a skateboarding halfpipe and singing "I am the very model of a modern major general" backwards.


Great mental image. Truly great. And so well worded. Just hilarious.
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Lippyass Major
Mens Mentis Minor

Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:57 pm
Posts: 2055
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 4:01 am 
 

Spiner202 wrote:
ANationalAcrobat wrote:
Alexlovestheredchord is not only shite -- but factually inaccurate:

stupidity wrote:
let me credit Eric Adams with being an absolute lyrical genius, with such immortal lines as: “If you like metal, you’re my friend”


I believe Joey writes all the lyrics. Besides, writing Manowar off because of Louder Than Hell is like saying Iron Maiden is a shitty band because they put out The X Factor.


I've only listened to that album once, so maybe I missed that line but isn't it "if you don't like metal, you're not my friend" from The Triumph of Steel (the second song, forget the name).


"If you like metal, you're my friend" is off Louder than Hell.

"If you're not into metal, you are not my friend" is off The Triumph of Steel.

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raz_man86
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 5:19 pm
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:35 am 
 

Let's face it: Out in the world, you people are mostly known as either gypsies or for Ceaucescu.[/quote]

and you finnish people for being russians bitch, remember cold war??

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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:18 pm 
 

raz_man86 wrote:
Quote:
Let's face it: Out in the world, you people are mostly known as either gypsies or for Ceaucescu.


and you finnish people for being russians bitch, remember cold war??


Not really. The world at large has no thoughts about finns whatsoever, (and by the world I mean the anglosphere [by which I mean the US]).

However, from my experience, Finns are widely heterophobic sauna dwellers.
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Byrgan
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:35 pm
Posts: 406
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:45 am 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=10187#101472

morbert wrote:
I bet it's pretty nekro and kvlt to listen to these mathematical impossibilities and claim you like or understand it.


At this point, I think his rage got the best of him, since he's using modern terms for some reason? I can only imagine the size of his heart attack if he heard something like Exterminator's full length from the same year and state in Brazil, or other material as such, ha.

http://www.vibrationsofdoom.com/test/Exterminator.html

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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 2:49 am 
 

I don't see the problem. His complaints are totally legitimate. The band is extremely sloppy on that album.
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morbert
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:36 am
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:12 am 
 

Byrgan wrote:
I can only imagine the size of his heart attack if he heard something like Exterminator's full length from the same year

well, I like that one more than Holocausto actually.
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Byrgan
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:35 pm
Posts: 406
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:59 am 
 

Zoldaten_ov_Zatan wrote:
I don't see the problem. His complaints are totally legitimate. The band is extremely sloppy on that album.


Well, they got tighter as their discography lengthened, but even with that, I can't say I like anything wholeheartedly that they've put out.

Now that I'm looking at what I wrote, I should have only highlighted "nekro" and "kvlt." And also added a separate paragraph for the second sentence; two different thoughts combined. Not to add unnecessary comparison, but I wrote a review for it as well, and the score I gave it is something in this case where I don't care for it as I do other Brazilian material I've rated.

I don't look at those terms just mentioned above too highly, even when mocking. Either way they've become somewhat lazy catch-all phrases and are just plain retarded to me. Sellers on Ebay used to say it like it meant something to market certain misunderstood or obscure recordings. So, applying a modern phrase like that to older material (not just older material, but material that came out shortly after extreme metal was forming in Brazil) and assuming anyone who "likes" or "understands" Campo de Exterminio is a modern listener, is short sighted considering the amount of recordings morbert has covered. That's what I meant by his rage got the best of him.

If he would have said something like they became philosophical posers after Campo, then... :grin: And I just typed longer than his review.

morbert wrote:
Byrgan wrote:
I can only imagine the size of his heart attack if he heard something like Exterminator's full length from the same year

well, I like that one more than Holocausto actually.


Hehe, and here I was assuming you didn't have perspective, but I gotta ask, how much more? Since Exterminator is terrible to me, music as well as production wise, and it's hard for me to fathom what you said.

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Lippyass Major
Mens Mentis Minor

Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:57 pm
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Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:14 pm 
 

Empyreal's new review of King of Metal leads me to believe he's not familiar with Manowar. He's more lenient in his judgment because he knows Manowar is a band that doesn't take themselves seriously. Wait...what?

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Zoldaten_ov_Zatan
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 665
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:17 pm 
 

It's fair to assume they were less totally serious about their attitude back in the days before they'd come to fully define themselves by it and completely typecast themselves.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:18 pm 
 

FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
Empyreal's new review of King of Metal leads me to believe he's not familiar with Manowar. He's more lenient in his judgment because he knows Manowar is a band that doesn't take themselves seriously. Wait...what?


No, I'm lenient in my judgment of it because I don't really hate the album even despite the fact that it's crammed with a bunch of stupid shit - it's not exactly offensive enough to warrant any real vitriol. How did you even read into my review with what you just said?
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Vlachos
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:23 pm 
 

Also in Empyreal's defense, any band's intentions during the making of an album have nothing to do with how the music is heard. Case in point, Metallica spends years in a studio, yet when their albums are reviewed, "it sounds like they spent three hours on this piece of shit" is not an inaccurate description, even if I were to disagree with the notion.
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EntilZha
Retired

Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:22 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:33 pm 
 

All I can say is that Empyreal is a homo for giving "Kings of Metal" a score as low as 52% and MaDTransilvanian is a homo for giving "Reign of Light" a score as high as 49%.
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Lippyass Major
Mens Mentis Minor

Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:57 pm
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:36 pm 
 

Empyreal wrote:
FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
Empyreal's new review of King of Metal leads me to believe he's not familiar with Manowar. He's more lenient in his judgment because he knows Manowar is a band that doesn't take themselves seriously. Wait...what?


No, I'm lenient in my judgment of it because I don't really hate the album even despite the fact that it's crammed with a bunch of stupid shit - it's not exactly offensive enough to warrant any real vitriol. How did you even read into my review with what you just said?


I didn't say it was the only reason, dude. Don't get defensive.

Vlachos wrote:
Also in Empyreal's defense, any band's intentions during the making of an album have nothing to do with how the music is heard. Case in point, Metallica spends years in a studio, yet when their albums are reviewed, "it sounds like they spent three hours on this piece of shit" is not an inaccurate description, even if I were to disagree with the notion.


That's not a defense. I'm claiming he doesn't know too much about Manowar, not that he didn't hear the music.

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:37 pm 
 

I've thought Kings of Metal was lame ever since I first heard it 2 or 3 years ago, even with the couple of really cool songs on it. That's about the score I've always considered giving it, between a 50 and a 60, really. Give me Battle Hymn (easily an album I'd give above a 90) or any of the other early ones any day.

And what don't I know about Manowar? I've listened to a fair amount of their albums and what I mentioned in the review is just honestly what I think is wrong with them, even if I know they wouldn't have done it any differently or anything. I think I 'get' them just fine. Doesn't really make KoM a good album either way.
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Vlachos
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:41 pm 
 

FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
That's not a defense. I'm claiming he doesn't know too much about Manowar, not that he didn't hear the music.

...And your claim is based on what, exactly?
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Lippyass Major
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:42 pm 
 

Zoldaten_ov_Zatan wrote:
It's fair to assume they were less totally serious about their attitude back in the days before they'd come to fully define themselves by it and completely typecast themselves.


No, not if you read very old interviews. Back in the late 80's, Ross ended up out of Manowar because Joey's "extreme" attitude was too much for him.

Empyreal wrote:
I've thought Kings of Metal was lame ever since I first heard it 2 or 3 years ago, even with the couple of really cool songs on it. That's about the score I've always considered giving it, between a 50 and a 60, really. Give me Battle Hymn (easily an album I'd give above a 90) or any of the other early ones any day.

And what don't I know about Manowar? I've listened to a fair amount of their albums and what I mentioned in the review is just honestly what I think is wrong with them, even if I know they wouldn't have done it any differently or anything. I think I 'get' them just fine. Doesn't really make KoM a good album either way.


You are missing the point quite badly. If you perceive Manowar as a band who doesn't take themselves too seriously, you aren't familiar with the band.

Vlachos wrote:
FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
That's not a defense. I'm claiming he doesn't know too much about Manowar, not that he didn't hear the music.

...And your claim is based on what, exactly?


Joey DeMaio is notorious for taking himself, his band, and heavy metal about as seriously as it can be taken. Empyreal said Manowar don't take themselves too seriously.

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Vlachos
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:46 pm 
 

FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
Joey DeMaio is notorious for taking himself, his band, and heavy metal about as seriously as it can be taken. Empyreal said Manowar don't take themselves too seriously.

Again, there's a difference between making a statement based on what you can hear and making the same statement based on the actual people in a band are like.
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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:48 pm 
 

Please, it was one line in the review that had no real bearing on my point or what I thought of the album. I may have been wrong about that, but it's not like I hinged everything I said on that statement - it doesn't really change one damn thing.
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Lippyass Major
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Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:57 pm
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Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:48 pm 
 

Vlachos wrote:
FierceBlackandWicked wrote:
Joey DeMaio is notorious for taking himself, his band, and heavy metal about as seriously as it can be taken. Empyreal said Manowar don't take themselves too seriously.

Again, there's a difference between making a statement based on what you can hear and making the same statement based on the actual people in a band are like.


EXACTLY! I'm saying Empyreal is not familiar with Manowar. He just knows what the music is like. Think for a moment, dude. :roll:

Empyreal wrote:
Please, it was one line in the review that had no real bearing on my point or what I thought of the album. I may have been wrong about that, but it's not like I hinged everything I said on that statement - it doesn't really change one damn thing.


Okay, yeah, whatever. And all I did was write one small post about it in this thread. We're even.


Last edited by Lippyass Major on Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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