...Yeah. I can't talk to you, dude.

Probably because you can't hold a conversation or follow logic.

Pot, kettle, black much? You two are quite the pair!

You're out of your mind.

hmbw, giving up your chronic addiction to having the last word would do wonders for your most recent incarnation's life expectancy.

to be fair though, he is arguing with Vlachos. That does strange things to the most sane person, let alone HMB.

I attract the oddest of folks.

I'm trying to remember, who is HMB?

When are you going to make good on this promise?

Whenever I am able to summon up the necessary rectal fortitude to contain the diarrhea I inevitably get when I read his reviews. That, or I buy a laptop so I can read them on the toilet.

Seriously though I've already started, but I can't handle very many in one sitting.

I know we've already taken Alex's reviews over the hot coals, but I've been looking through some of them again and I am truly amazed at the levels of ignorance and stupidity in some of them.

First off, I find it ironic that he so frequently praises deathcore yet hates on Dimmu Borgir's DCA for being, in his own words:



...And so he gives it a score of 10%, while giving Impending Doom's Nailed. Dead. Risen a score of 78%. DCA isn't even a black metal record, it's a symphonic extreme metal one, and while it's hardly worthy of a huge amount of respect or anything, it's more than a little ridiculous to hate on new Dimmu while liking Impending Doom.

That isn't the worst of it, though. No, that dishonour comes from the following, something so unbelievably stupid that truly stretches this guy's credibility as a legitimate metalhead:



That passage was from his review for Candlemass's Epicus Doomicus Metallicus. So basically, he's calling Candlemass emo.

If metal archives was a town in the wild west, I was the marshal and Alex rode up and then proceeded to describe one of doom metal's most famous acts as emo, I would have drawn and shot him dead on the spot.

Seriously, someone would have to be ridiculously ignorant to think that all depression is emo, when emos have only been around for two decades at the most yet people have been writing depressing and negative songs for centuries. He even called his Epicus Doomicus Metallicus review "Cheer up Emo kid!" I thought he was joking, but then I read that piece of shit he wrote in relation to Solitude.

I just don't think that kind of ignorance should be acceptable.

This also brings up an interesting point about reviews: if people make completely factually inaccurate statements in their reviews, then no matter how well written they are aside from such things, should said reviews be accepted even if they contain stuff that is totally false?

Happy now, motherfucker?

Slightly happier.

Heavymetalbackwards?

Ahh yes, thank you.

goredisorder's recent review of Testament's "Practice What You Preach" was an interesting read. However, the sentiment that Testament (during this era, at least) is boring due to a lack of identifiable riffs always confuses me. I though listening to their music should make it blatantly obvious that they are melody-driven? They certainly don't lack identifiable melodies.

The new Burzum review; oh how April Fool's Day gets old too quick.

That review was worth 10,000 OzzyApu reviews. Byrgan is god. Hail to your new god.

I'll admit that it knocks my "Guys I'd Go Gay For" trilogy out of the water.

Byrgan's review for Burzum's Belus is a masterpiece.

I agree. Hopefully it'll stay around for more than one happy day.

That review solidifies Byrgan's position as one of M-A's best reviewers even further.

The best thing about the reviews is the fact that
HE WROTE THE REVIEW WITHOUT LISTENING TO THE ALBUM, BITCHES.

Um.... WTF. Wow.

Keep your opinion to yourself. I worked very har...strenuously on that.



Who would get anything written if they listened to every album they reviewed?

A very short quote from Shadespawn's review of the Moonblood/Evil split:


Close.

Continue any discussion in the new generic review discussion thread.

http://www.metal-archives.com/board/vie ... php?t=7444