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terrr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:44 am
Posts: 7
Location: Turkey
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2021 7:09 am 
 

Morn Of Solace wrote:
terrr wrote:
Morn Of Solace wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Metallica/Lulu/320007/terrr/912136

I think this slipped... This is blatant trolling, not even fun :(

I think you just can't handle the high and inherent value of Lou's art.


I don't care for that album, yours is just base level trolling that should have no place here

My intention there was clearly not trolling, and that's all that matters. Reviews are supposed to be informative to the reader to let them know what they should expect. My review was simply a humorous one trying to point out how unintentionally comedic everything in there is. Nobody was insulted, and nobody other than you got uppity over it. You can blow any further complaints up yours, for that's where they belong.

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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 174
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:11 am 
 

terrr wrote:
Morn Of Solace wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Metallica/Lulu/320007/terrr/912136

I think this slipped... This is blatant trolling, not even fun :(

I think you just can't handle the high and inherent value of Lou's art.


I def agree about not trolling. Until this review was even pointed out, I probably never would had read it, tbh. As for me, Metallica stopped being any good after And Justice for all... that album will always remain their best album, and a true, and intense classic.

Needless to say, just read this review, and was def enjoyable read, def saw the humor you were trying to convey in your review. Well done, sir! :D

However, just now remember you from reading another one of your reviews... your Jäätyäkuu - Fagyhold review. Mine will def be immensely, and vastly different from your's (as I will be writing for that one, here very soon), as I very much have enjoyed that album a few times over, as well as supported on Bandcamp. Minus the score you gave was still well-written overall.
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TheLoneForest
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:16 pm
Posts: 447
Location: Quebec
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:40 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... es/890650/

This is literally one big rant

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MetlaNZ
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Posts: 671
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:03 pm 
 

TheLoneForest wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Liturgy/Origin_of_the_Alimonies/890650/

This is literally one big rant

The first section of the review in particular is a rant but the rest is not too bad. It's a pretty good description of what I too thought of the album when I had a listen.

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Gas_Snake
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:07 am
Posts: 45
Location: Russia
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 7:15 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... is/1043649

Zero description of how the album actually sounds. He's basically covering up the phrase "it sucks" with excessive hyperbole and comparisons to other bands that have nothing in common with Atheist. The guy's earlier reviews are pretty shitty already, but this I think has to go.

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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 174
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 8:00 am 
 

Gas_Snake wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Atheist/Jupiter/283601/Anus_Canis/1043649

Zero description of how the album actually sounds. He's basically covering up the phrase "it sucks" with excessive hyperbole and comparisons to other bands that have nothing in common with Atheist. The guy's earlier reviews are pretty shitty already, but this I think has to go.


Good grief! I would have to agree... if nothing else, for this alone, I'm sure... "vocals are grating and horrible AF"...

Who in the hell writes "AF" in a review!??? :D Nails on chalkboard grating 'cringe'.... that's something you write maybe in a Fb status/ reply/ or, comment.... NOT in a review! I stopped reading after that haha :D
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King_of_Arnor
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:35 pm
Posts: 52
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 9:11 am 
 

From that review, I only have the impression that the vocals are bad and the music is "horrendously composed"... no mention of any of the other instruments or why the album is so poor with regard to composition. He's so wrapped up in making excessive comparisons in literally every single review to any one of Pantera, Demilich, Morpheus Descends or whatever else he reviewed at least once, but has now gone off the deep end and just decided to compare this to everything he's seen or listened to that's bad for no apparent reason. He also has a really annoying tendency to repeat himself and use certain words and phrases over and over, so his writing is not just insufferable, it's formulaic as well.

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Wahn_nhaW
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:34 pm
Posts: 145
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 9:23 am 
 

Alright, I see that Anus_Canis has gained quite a bit of notoriety here. I went through some of his reviews last night, because his jump from Metallica and Pantera to Atheist of all bands drew my attention. I wanted to see what he had to say about one of my favorite bands.

Ok, the reviews are truly a hoot. But I'm interested to hear how much we should buy into some personal info that he's provided. Is he really 18 and a recent escapee from a restrictive Christian environment/community? Because, if those things are true, it does provide a different context for his reviews. They're not good, but the idea of a some kid documenting his discovery of metal in real time... I don't know, I kinda dig it. :D

Of course, we could be dealing with a troll, there's just something in the way the reviews are laid out that seems legit. They're remarkably naive, which, if you're trolling, is hard to emulate. There are always tell-tale signs of trolling when it happens, but I'm not seeing them here.
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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5808
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 11:05 am 
 

Yeah, we're pretty convinced he's just new to metal. It's pretty common for young people to start reviewing the classics, and to usually overly praise or criticize them. He has been improving, and if he keeps it up, in a few years time he may look back on his early reviews and wonder "Did I Really Write That?". For now, enjoy the nostalgia of watching someone discover metal and reviewing, much as it was for us when we were young.
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Slater922
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:24 pm
Posts: 424
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 11:52 am 
 

MetlaNZ wrote:
TheLoneForest wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Liturgy/Origin_of_the_Alimonies/890650/

This is literally one big rant

The first section of the review in particular is a rant but the rest is not too bad. It's a pretty good description of what I too thought of the album when I had a listen.

I'm not sure why people are asking for reviews that go against their opinion to be taken down. I don't agree with plenty of reviews on this site, but I'm not demanding the mods to take them down for the sake of my opinion being "right".
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Gas_Snake
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:07 am
Posts: 45
Location: Russia
PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 9:39 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... _666/79385

Short and nondescriptive. Contains a grand total of one and a half sentences that bother to describe the music in any capacity, and none of em go into the "how it sounds" bit. Guy just threw together some grandiose epithets and called it at that.

Also, he does state that his review originates from an official publication to a webzine, but this is not a free pass to quality land, as far as I know. I've read some others out of curiosity, and they're... not good, to put it mildly.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 370
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2021 11:28 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... bara/25319
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ilent/7882

Both too short to have any real value.
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