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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5848
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:01 pm 
 

Yikes.
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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MRmehman
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:34 pm
Posts: 528
Location: Painted World of Ariamis
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:27 pm 
 

The implication that the Polish government somehow made Honor's vocalist crash his car as a means to "silence" him is absolutely hilarious to me.
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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 2247
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 5:43 am 
 

Yeah, imagine living with that level of paranoia :ugh: thanks for the removal!

i'll link few Vintersorg reviews: nothing terrible, but all with the old track by track / score format

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... phyXy/1961

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... racker/674

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rdua/13369

and two Finntroll ones

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... nwvlf/7029

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rill/23130

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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 6318
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:18 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... ing/17899/

Both reviews seem to be quite poor.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 2:00 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... lood/30606

Track-by-track, Nazism.
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Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


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Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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PaganiusI
Zee Bombelecher

Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Posts: 2705
Location: Germany
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 7:00 am 
 

Might need another look aswell:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... oon/82896/
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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 2247
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2020 7:54 am 
 

PaganiusI wrote:


Indeed, also all of this user's reviews are extremely dumb track by tracks

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GuardAwakening
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:35 pm
Posts: 266
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 3:29 am 
 

I can't help but feel like this review needs to go: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kie/311281

"Begging For Incest hails from Germany...which only further supports the idea that german brutal death metal bands are either wunderkinds (Defeated Sanity, Medecophobic) or shit caked retards wallowing in their own incompetence, stupidity & filth as if it were something to be proud of. " -- There's lots of very juvenile cheapshots such as that and using idioms such as 'huffing paint' to challenge the band member's intelligence as well as the group's fanbase.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 8:07 am 
 

GuardAwakening wrote:
I can't help but feel like this review needs to go: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kie/311281

"Begging For Incest hails from Germany...which only further supports the idea that german brutal death metal bands are either wunderkinds (Defeated Sanity, Medecophobic) or shit caked retards wallowing in their own incompetence, stupidity & filth as if it were something to be proud of. " -- There's lots of very juvenile cheapshots such as that and using idioms such as 'huffing paint' to challenge the band member's intelligence as well as the group's fanbase.


I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.
_________________
Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


Last.fm
Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 6318
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 8:22 am 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
GuardAwakening wrote:
I can't help but feel like this review needs to go: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kie/311281

"Begging For Incest hails from Germany...which only further supports the idea that german brutal death metal bands are either wunderkinds (Defeated Sanity, Medecophobic) or shit caked retards wallowing in their own incompetence, stupidity & filth as if it were something to be proud of. " -- There's lots of very juvenile cheapshots such as that and using idioms such as 'huffing paint' to challenge the band member's intelligence as well as the group's fanbase.


I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.


Well, he IS right about My Dying Bride being better than Opeth at least! :lol:

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GuardAwakening
Metal newbie

Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:35 pm
Posts: 266
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 10:43 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:

I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.


I see you've never encountered Bitterman's profile before,
well here you go https://www.metal-archives.com/users/bitterman

colin040 wrote:
EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
GuardAwakening wrote:
I can't help but feel like this review needs to go: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kie/311281

"Begging For Incest hails from Germany...which only further supports the idea that german brutal death metal bands are either wunderkinds (Defeated Sanity, Medecophobic) or shit caked retards wallowing in their own incompetence, stupidity & filth as if it were something to be proud of. " -- There's lots of very juvenile cheapshots such as that and using idioms such as 'huffing paint' to challenge the band member's intelligence as well as the group's fanbase.


I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.


Well, he IS right about My Dying Bride being better than Opeth at least! :lol:


I do miss his Waking the Cadaver review for their PROAN album, it was the only thing I totally agreed with. Every thing he said it in it was either spot-on correct or was an opinion I totally backed (stuff like it's not near as bad as an album as MA bandwaggon haters exaggerate it to be, the band is brutal death, and NOT deathcore ect). Yet for some reason he deleted it thus leaving his entire profile being nothing but mostly cancer as a result. (also how in the fuck are you fine with Waking the Cadaver but talk mountainous amounts of shit about Begging for Incest? BFI are like the biggest WtC worship to ever exist)

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2020 4:32 pm 
 

GuardAwakening wrote:
EzraBlumenfeld wrote:

I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.


I see you've never encountered Bitterman's profile before,
well here you go https://www.metal-archives.com/users/bitterman


As a matter of fact I have. Brutality_Junkie's may be less extreme overall, but he basically insults everyone in it.
_________________
Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


Last.fm
Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2020 1:41 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... aBoris/147


Was this maybe missed when UltraBoris's reviews were cleaned up? It's definitely one of his more mature ones, but it's also just a straightforward track-by-track.
_________________
Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


Last.fm
Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9785
Location: United States
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2020 1:05 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... n666/68424

Ancient review from 2007 with bare bones, incredibly general musical description, and a bunch of grammar and formatting errors to boot. The only song that gets specific description is "Lock Up Your Children", and it's brushed over rather quickly. Reads like it was written in 5 minutes.
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I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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droneriot
cisgender

Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:17 pm
Posts: 10812
Location: Spahn Ranch
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2020 2:02 am 
 

The accout was probably hacked because the rating is higher than 5%.
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Spoiler: show
Clicking on spoiler tags in signatures means you seriously need a hobby.

https://conservativetentacles.bandcamp.com/

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Gas_Snake
Metal newbie

Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:07 am
Posts: 63
Location: Russia
PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2020 2:45 am 
 

droneriot wrote:
The accout was probably hacked because the rating is higher than 5%.


I've looked at his reviews. That is actually one of his older ones, back then he apparently wrote mostly positive reviews. It wasn't until about 2016 or so that he turned into a fuming troll and started using apathy as a writing source and giving single-digit ratings to Arch-fronted Fates Warning albums. It's still a terrible review, but this should hopefully provide an explanation for your... bafflement.

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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2020 3:36 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kkal/61910

Extremely brief. Descriptive, so I understand if it gets left up, but brief.
_________________
Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


Last.fm
Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 6318
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:15 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rrior/1166

I know that it's from the archives' early days, but this one's brief and hardly descriptive.

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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2020 4:25 am 
 

Unless this is some kind of joke and the staff are in on it, I can't comprehend how this got by them in the first place:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rven/90397
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MetlaNZ
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Posts: 975
Location: Lost in Necropolis
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2020 5:46 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Unless this is some kind of joke and the staff are in on it, I can't comprehend how this got by them in the first place:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rven/90397

Spot on with the 100% rating but mostly crap as a review. However, how cool is it to get a bit of an insight into that time for the band from Robert Garven. I hope it stays.

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Lane
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:54 am
Posts: 497
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 6:44 am 
 

Musical description is almost non-existing:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... gy/191416/

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Empyreal
The Final Frontier

Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:58 pm
Posts: 29636
Location: Where the dead rule the night
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 10:32 am 
 

Lord_Of_Diamonds wrote:
Unless this is some kind of joke and the staff are in on it, I can't comprehend how this got by them in the first place:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rven/90397


They let that one stay because a guy from the band wrote it and you're probably not likely to see it a lot otherwise, as far as I remember.
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Lord_Of_Diamonds
Metalhead

Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:23 pm
Posts: 607
Location: Asheville area, NC, US
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 6:37 pm 
 

I was under the impression that you couldn't review your own stuff.

Besides, musical description in that one is really sparse.
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Svarthavid wrote:
Saying that Bolt Thrower suck is like saying the guys at capital hill did nothing wrong, they only protected America.

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5848
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 8:31 pm 
 

An exception was made for those particular reviews.
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Subrick
Metal Strongman

Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:27 pm
Posts: 9785
Location: United States
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2020 3:40 am 
 

Subrick wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Morbid_Saint/Spectrum_of_Death/19722/Human666/68424

Ancient review from 2007 with bare bones, incredibly general musical description, and a bunch of grammar and formatting errors to boot. The only song that gets specific description is "Lock Up Your Children", and it's brushed over rather quickly. Reads like it was written in 5 minutes.


Reupping this for all the same reasons I initially posted it.
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Earthcubed wrote:
I'm just perpetually annoyed by Sean William Scott and he's never been in a movie where I wasn't rooting for his head to sever by strange means.

Blacksoul Seraphim Gothic Doom Metal
Autumn's Ashes Melodic Death/Doom Metal

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Kennermahn
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:36 am
Posts: 270
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:22 pm 
 

The content of the review itself is not really what's bad about this:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... .../60452/

The problem is the title:
Quote:
I wonder if Hitler would have liked this...I did


And the rating, 88% precisely...

The whole thing doesn't make it look very critical of the "ideology".

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5848
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2020 2:39 pm 
 

Yikes. Dealt with.
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R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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colin040
Metal freak

Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:00 pm
Posts: 6318
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 12:30 pm 
 

Stumbled upon two Paradise Lost reviews of Grimdoom and I wonder if they should be on the site after all.

For Draconian Times:

Quote:
How anyone can consider this band "Gothic" up to this point is quite befuddling. This album (their second to last Metal release until 'Symbol of Life') is pure Doom Metal plain and simple.


Rather an inaccurate statement to make.

Quote:
The production is crisp and the song writing is nothing short of brilliant. Nick has once again lessoned the "deathly" aspect of his vocals, going for (arguably) a more Thrash oriented voice. It suites the music well and is offset periodically by a clean semi-sung/spoken parts.


Quote:
Some of the draw backs would be the lack of more pure Death Metal vocals and the higher sounding guitars. Some of the songs tend to drag towards the middle of the recording as well. This is also fairly radio friendly (not that, that’s necessarily a bad thing).


So the vocals fit well, yet the drawback are the lack of pure death metal vocals? Also, this guy gave the album a 100% score - shouldn't that mean he'd find nothing wrong with the album?

Source: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... doom/66546

He also wrote a review for Shades of God which is titled as ''Good but lacking something... - 99%'', yet he doesn't explain what the album lacks.

Source: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... doom/66546

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Hellbent
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:00 pm
Posts: 1
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Jan 19, 2021 5:10 pm 
 

At the risk of opening up my own work to greater scrutiny, after my review of Agalloch's 'Ashes Against The Grain' was accepted, I read through all of the rest to see what others had written, and came across one I'm surprised was accepted, based on the extremely limited musical description that it contains:

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Agalloch/Ashes_Against_the_Grain/113100/CarAq/416956

Not much more than a basic description of one song, and a 100% rating for an album that has 'everything', but essentially no explanation of what 'everything' actually might be.

There are another one of two that are borderline, but not bad enough to make an example of I think.

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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 349
Location: France
PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2021 5:02 am 
 

I don't want to bash my fellow reviewers, but come on, that one is "Crappy Diem" quality at best. Awful formatting, bad capitalization, typos, idiotic pompous metaphors telling nothing about the music, general pseudoelitist syndrome - it has them all. "NOT for modernists in search of cool news", bros.

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... t.I/24704/

Spoiler: show
From the italic lands, crossroad of millenarian cultures, as the celtic & the roman one, here it is! Here the primordial spirit of HESPERIA (name of the ancient Italy), progect of Pagan Metal, composed & directed by Hesperus (name of an ancient sovereign of the ancient pagan italic lands), materializes itself under the shape of a Visual (multimedia) CD.
The concept that extrapolates from this cd is one of the most difficult that an artist could musically express, and in the complex, he succeeds in his deed to combine the ancient & arcane italic spirit, with the clangor of Metal, really ortodox and not plasticized.
The music takes some of the first Necromantia sounds, unite them to a conceptual Classicism (not in the sense of music, but in the way of the affiliation and origin); in the same time, all those elements unite with an Ambient sound, really esoteric (here is no industrial insert, but a real antiquity ardor); here you will find the same emotions that a teenager feels, rummaging in the old cellar of his grandparents.
This is a trip for those who are irreversibly attracted by the spiritual triad "native land, blood, traditions";
HESPERIA is an plow that traces a musical furrow, a furrow that remains as a mark, a photo aged by the slow flowing of time;
it is not easy to listen (the recording of the drum is awful), but those who succeed to catch its spirit, will be satisfied drinking from the fountain of history, from the Epos, from the ascetic principle.
To conclude: metallic mountaneers & defender with an opened mind, ortodox blacksters & anyone who loves originality & traditionality, look for this precious CD (Carpe Diem).
NOT for modernists in search of cool news.


The band would lose its only review, though. I've planned to write one in the following weeks.
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EzraBlumenfeld
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:50 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Land of No Return
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2021 3:42 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... h1s/147400

Only talks about one of the four bands on the split.
_________________
Kveldulfr wrote:
Like butter comes from milk, butter will only be a reminder of its milky origins, whereas milk reigns supreme as a vital element.


Last.fm
Listen to my band Begravement's debut EP!

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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 175
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:32 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
GuardAwakening wrote:
I can't help but feel like this review needs to go: https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... kie/311281

"Begging For Incest hails from Germany...which only further supports the idea that german brutal death metal bands are either wunderkinds (Defeated Sanity, Medecophobic) or shit caked retards wallowing in their own incompetence, stupidity & filth as if it were something to be proud of. " -- There's lots of very juvenile cheapshots such as that and using idioms such as 'huffing paint' to challenge the band member's intelligence as well as the group's fanbase.


I've been a frequent user of this site for over three years, and this user's profile is the most obnoxious thing I've seen on here. Dear God.


Good grief man, no kidding...
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Spider_X
Metal newbie

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Posts: 175
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2021 5:46 pm 
 

EzraBlumenfeld wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Helloween_-_Hellhammer_-_Running_Wild_-_Dark_Avenger/Death_Metal/45188/Wra1th1s/147400

Only talks about one of the four bands on the split.


See, with something like this, even if you don't like the other bands, at least maybe say something about why you don't like the rest of the split, or something, ya know? It's like he just totally ignored the rest of the album!

Like with my one and only split review, while I am a (usually) 100% album score giver, I had to give this Hermóðr/ Moloch split an 85%. I had to torture myself one last time to write my review of this split, cause I cannot stand Moloch. Absolutely horrific and migraine-inducing to say the least. That being said, I did try to say something, at least that I did enjoy about his side. But in the end, I hope I never have to listen to his music ever again.... 'less he does another split with Hermóðr.

But, yeah, regarding splits, how am I supposed to know how that 4-way split album is even like. Def needs more information about the rest of the album as a whole, not just one, sole band, wow...
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MetlaNZ
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Posts: 975
Location: Lost in Necropolis
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2021 3:12 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... 059/Vic/31
About as useless as tits on a bull.

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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 2247
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 7:59 am 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rrr/912136

I think this slipped... This is blatant trolling, not even fun :(

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King_of_Arnor
Metal newbie

Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:35 pm
Posts: 104
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 11:54 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Swashbuckle/Back_to_the_Noose/236113/LordJack/545490

This is his only review - extremely brief and amateurish, barely describes the music at all. Then the second half is completely unrelated talking about how he liked Slipknot and Metallica before he got into this band through a youtube video.

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terrr
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:44 am
Posts: 7
Location: Turkey
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 5:51 am 
 

Morn Of Solace wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Metallica/Lulu/320007/terrr/912136

I think this slipped... This is blatant trolling, not even fun :(

I think you just can't handle the high and inherent value of Lou's art.

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TheLoneForest
Metalhead

Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:16 pm
Posts: 538
Location: Quebec
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 6:29 pm 
 

https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/ ... rrr/912136

Homophobia, cringe and just a wrong opinion lol

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Derigin
The Mountain Man

Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:25 am
Posts: 5848
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 6:33 pm 
 

Dealt with.
_________________
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

R.I.P. Diamhea 1987-2018
Live young, die free. Gone, but not forgotten.

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Morn Of Solace
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:19 am
Posts: 2247
PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 6:35 pm 
 

terrr wrote:
Morn Of Solace wrote:
https://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Metallica/Lulu/320007/terrr/912136

I think this slipped... This is blatant trolling, not even fun :(

I think you just can't handle the high and inherent value of Lou's art.


I don't care for that album, yours is just base level trolling that should have no place here

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