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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:24 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/U ... eparasites

The trap of track-by-track reviews: Seven mentions of breakdowns without actually describing them, so I know there are a lot of breakdowns and he doesn't like them. Doesn't have much description otherwise.

He also mentions blast beats on two songs, there are no blast beats, I think he means the fills on the snare.

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hey
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:41 pm
Posts: 1636
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:44 pm 
 

Should the recent review for Fall of Rauros - The Light that Dwells in Rotten Wood be here? I'm sure it'd be fine with a bit of editing, but seeing "blackmetal" in the first sentence was enough to make me shiver a bit.


Last edited by hey on Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:55 pm 
 

Most of that guy's stuff got in as barely 3 pointers. For some reason he says blackmetal but separates the other genres just fine. I was just editing it myself because it's a really small thing and hopefully he'd notice and fix it himself in the future, but it looks like I forgot to on that first one. My bad.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:42 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... gabalgabow

This one describes the album, but it's sooooo poorly written. Bear with me on this one.

I skimmed a few more reviews by this guy and based on those I'm assuming he wrote all his reviews in this horrendous style.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:58 am 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Grave/Back_from_the_Grave/9675/gabalgabow

This one describes the album, but it's sooooo poorly written. Bear with me on this one.

I skimmed a few more reviews by this guy and based on those I'm assuming he wrote all his reviews in this horrendous style.

It reads like one of John_Sunlight's stories converted into a review.
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which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:49 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... eperoflamu

Engrish, poor format, and minimal description.

I'd take a look at the next oldest on that page, too, cause it's strange-bad. Misguides listeners with the Opeth and Lacuna Coil comparisons. http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... ySonicDiet
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:06 pm 
 

Both nuked. The 2nd one doesn't describe the music, it only says "Opeth, Opeth, Opeth".
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:42 pm 
 

Thanks, keep this guy (http://www.metal-archives.com/users/gabalgabow) on the badman list. I'll sift through his stuff sometime this week to see what can be purged. Skimming through it, looks like everything can go.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:13 pm 
 

This user's reviews are almost completely lacking any actual description of the music. Lots of ambiguous praise (half of the adjectives are "evil") padded by lots of historical context on albums where everyone already knows it (Mayhem, Bathory), He needs to visit the review feedback workshop. All of these reviews are brief and very bare in actual descriptions.
http://www.metal-archives.com/users/TheEndIsNigh

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... eEndIsNigh
It's almost objectively inaccurate to state that this was faster than their contemporaries, as the bands named were around the same speed of everything around the same time. It is a glaring inaccuracy when he refers to a member of Mayhem as "Blackfire".

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... eEndIsNigh
Poorly edited, the first sentence has a typo, second to last sentence in the first paragraph is missing a word or two. Describes the drums as being precise (it's a drum machine), says Bathory aren't known for keyboards (arguable, but very short-sighted). Lots of nonsense like this:
"The sound of all the instruments makes this album essential to be played at high volumes, especially with headphones."

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... eEndIsNigh
The guitars have "incredible precision" - what? This album is incredibly sloppy. And uh... "While the bass can only be heard through noise-canceling, professional headphones"

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... eEndIsNigh
This one is primarily an amateur overview with several somewhat irrelevant and completely inaccurate notes:
-Burzum formed in 1991, they weren't "just getting underway" in 1988.
-"It appears Nocturno Culto wasn't even in the band at the time, making drummer Fenriz the only original member on this release" (this was their first release, thus it had their original lineup).
-The context of death metal and grindcore being well established in 1988 seems out of place.
-"brutal death metal"

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 7:24 pm 
 

I'll check these out when I'll be back home with a good internet. Thanks to you both.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:09 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... /Messiah_X

Completely butt-hurt Blaze Bayley fan that provides as much substance as ConorFynes at the worst levels. First of all, he starts out (very first sentence) as a defense against the negative reviews (that have since been deleted), which can be implied that he wrote this with the intention of balancing out the negative score. Secondly, he takes up half the review talking about "The Angel and the Gambler" and makes a shitty (and I mean shitty) argument on the cleverness of the repetition (even if he doesn't like it). The next paragraph is the ConorFynes-esque track-by-track review that adds FUCKING NOTHING.

Please send this review to the void.

Felt like throwing this under the bus, too. From the review discussion thread.

OzzyApu wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Iron_Maiden/Seventh_Son_of_a_Seventh_Son/80/VampireKiller

This review annoyed me. Good album, but the guy religiously uses these words: light, dark, happy, and sad.

Quote:
And also, whereas "Somewhere in Time" had quite a light and somewhat "happy" power metal sound, this album's sound is a unique blend of power metal and a light shade of doom metal. This is most noticeable on the opening track "Moonchild" which is fairly dark but at the same time kind of light.


Quote:
"The Clairvoyant" is one of the lighter songs on this album, which might be explained by the fact that it was the third single released from this album. The verses are quite sad whereas the chorus is quite happy, which creates an interesting mix between sadness and happiness. It's sad that Adrian's solo is too short, because it's great IMO.
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Idrownfish
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:04 pm
Posts: 65
Location: Brazil
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 6:52 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... ber_marcin

This album has 11 other reviews... I don't think this one is needed since:

1) After reading it, I still have no idea of what the album sounds like;
2) Too many !!!!s;
3) Too long;
4) He writes an essay about why he took so long to buy the album;
5) The whole thing sounds childish.

TikrasTamsusNaktis's review for the same album is too short and also pretty weak, but still much better than that one.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:22 pm 
 

Idrownfish wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Vinterland/Welcome_My_Last_Chapter/4076/dismember_marcin

This album has 11 other reviews... I don't think this one is needed since:

1) After reading it, I still have no idea of what the album sounds like;
2) Too many !!!!s;
3) Too long;
4) He writes an essay about why he took so long to buy the album;
5) The whole thing sounds childish.

I wanted to call out this one, too. Those huge chunk paragraphs are a chore to read, and that first one isn't even about the music.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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MalignantThrone
Vanished in the Cosmic Futility

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 am
Posts: 2789
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:45 pm 
 

Idrownfish wrote:
3) Too long;

wat
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~Guest 171512
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 2099
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:49 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/M ... o/266/Wooh

One of the most irritating things I've ever read. Too much caps, too much ranting (about negative reviews that aren't even there, I might add), and just too fucking annoying generally.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:52 pm 
 

Thiestru wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Moonspell/Sin_-_Pecado/266/Wooh

One of the most irritating things I've ever read. Too much caps, too much ranting (about negative reviews that aren't even there, I might add), and just too fucking annoying generally.

Ah, looks like the retarded cousin of this review. ""Where is my black metal? SELLOUT!"" http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... Tony_Danza

Annoying as hell to read.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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~Guest 171512
Metalhead

Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:18 am
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 12:00 am 
 

Yeah, I remember that review. I think I actually read it once in its entirety without skimming over (large) parts of it, which is more than I can say for the one I linked to. =P

As an aside, I sort of feel bad for pointing out bad reviews, since I'm really self-conscious about the ones I've written - which is why there are so few of them. But that one just jumped out at me in a way that very few have ever done before. I'd never presume to know how a rape victim feels, but....

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kluseba
Making Metal Archives Reviews Great Again!

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:36 am
Posts: 897
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:02 am 
 

This review is a little bit "amazonesque" to me and has some weird parts (and many spelling mistakes)...

"The theme of this album is pretty consistent, almost to consistent. It remains heavy and ends heavy." - This line lacks of precision.

"Another good song is Firestorm, it kind of sucks becasue he sings some of the song in Japanese. But it is probably the fastest song on this album." - A song by a Japanese band sucks because it has a passage sung in Japanese? Why is this bad? And what does the track offer apart of being fast?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/L ... alGuardian

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:16 am 
 

Agreed, it's gone!
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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:40 am 
 

Thiestru wrote:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Moonspell/Sin_-_Pecado/266/Wooh

One of the most irritating things I've ever read. Too much caps, too much ranting (about negative reviews that aren't even there, I might add), and just too fucking annoying generally.

While I have to agree that he makes some good points about the music he does voice them out in such a retarded way that it makes it hard to read.

I live in a country bathed by the Mediterranean Sea and Sin/Pecado is one of my favourite Moonspell albums, yet I can't possibly make out what he means by "mediterranean sounding". I also think he doesn't understand what "irony" means. Mods... your call.

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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:57 pm 
 

androdion wrote:
I live in a country bathed by the Mediterranean Sea and Sin/Pecado is one of my favourite Moonspell albums, yet I can't possibly make out what he means by "mediterranean sounding".

I've used "mediterranean" in my reviews before when describing something like Novembre. A blend of romanticism and melody to capture this unique but stereotypical "sound". Imagine acoustics playing italian / spanish folk (from a American perspective of what it is supposed to sound like) and that echo-y, clean guitar sound.

me from my Novembrine Waltz review wrote:
and the guitars sounding like glitzy Mediterranean waves,

Ugh, awful description, but what I described above is what I meant by that. Wow I suck.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Otherwise, http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... 37/ict1523

Kill the review, and kill the reviewer. Bland as ConorFynes, and does very little to actually describe the music. It's so basic in its "good riffs! Inspired vocals... 'even includes a little solo which is pretty good and rare to come across in the black metal world.'" :o That's an Immortal review btw.

The one above it, http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/I ... Somberlain, is also bad but not as bad. Abbath actually got worse from Pure Holocaust.

Quote:
2 years after the epicness of Pure Holocaust, Immortal releases an album with pretty much none in Battles in the North. ...Grim and Frostbitten Kingdoms has a nice lead by Demonaz to end the song. Cursed Realms of the Winterdemons has a pretty cool bass intro and the best lyrics on the album. All lyrics are written by Demonaz and deal with Blashyrkh. The album closer Blashyrkh (Mighty Ravendark) has a Pure Holocaust epicness with Battles in the North riffing to it. Very nicely done.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...


Last edited by OzzyApu on Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:02 pm 
 

OzzyApu wrote:
androdion wrote:
I live in a country bathed by the Mediterranean Sea and Sin/Pecado is one of my favourite Moonspell albums, yet I can't possibly make out what he means by "mediterranean sounding".

I've used "mediterranean" in my reviews before when describing something like Novembre. A blend of romanticism and melody to capture this unique but stereotypical "sound". Imagine acoustics playing italian / spanish folk (from a American perspective of what it is supposed to sound like) and that echo-y, clean guitar sound.

me from my Novembrine Waltz review wrote:
and the guitars sounding like glitzy Mediterranean waves,

Ugh, awful description, but what I described above is what I meant by that. Wow I suck.

Gee Ozzy, that "dividing line" has screwed up the page formatting. :p

Actually your description isn't half bad, although some would call it "purple prose". In the way you use it it gains a meaning but the other reviewer uses it a bit too loosely. Also, the Mediterranean bathes everything from Portugal to Turkey so calling something "Mediterranean sounding" isn't exactly indicative of anything in particular. Folk varies a lot from Portugal to Italy to Greece to Malta to whatever. I guess it's not a good descriptor unless you're using it in a particular example.

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hakarl
Metel fraek

Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:41 pm
Posts: 8816
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:04 pm 
 

That indeed is a glaring example of purple prose. It's not necessarily a major issue, however, if purple, hackneyed descriptions aren't the only ones offered.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
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Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:07 pm 
 

Hmm, fixed the line. My 21'' screen had no problem, but I didn't take into account lesser sizes. As for the description, I understand that the Mediterranean surrounds countries with a lot of different cultures, but from an American that doesn't know any better, that's how someone can write / type something like that and expect people to get it.
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gomorro wrote:
Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:00 pm
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Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:09 pm 
 

I removed the two Battles in the North reviews, no musical description, mediocre & subpar.
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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:16 pm 
 

I get your point Ozzy and it makes sense. ;)

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:11 am 
 

This review is extremely superficial and it seems like he didn't even listen beyond the first track. It is basically glossing over, saying "yeah I know Opeth do fancy stuff but it's not catchy or groovy, just fancy and disjointed" without any examples. It sounds like he listened to the first track and reviewed from that, and the review even sort of suggests that he didn't have the patience to pay attention to the whole album, since some of the later tracks are sort of contrary to his descriptions. The nonsense about Linkin Park is just the reviewer spouting childish soapbox nonsense on the assumption that simply writing a review makes one's assertions credible.

Quote:
The drums are drums. Yeah, they never stood out or did anything really impressive or ear catching (to me at least). They keep the time perfectly well.
...
I sat there listening to this album and after what seemed like a good while I thought, "Man! This has been going on for quite a while." I checked the track I was on. It was the first track and I was 6 and a half minutes through. I wanted to scream, "Get to the point!" But, I then realized that the point was just given. This music will meander and do nothing really meaningful for another 56 minutes.


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... 1/DodKrone


This one talks more about himself than the music.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... ConorFynes

This reads like something we'd make fun of in the crappy diem thread. It doesn't describe the music beyond calling songs good/bad.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... ConorFynes

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Metantoine
Slave to Santa

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Posts: 12030
Location: Montréal
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 3:30 am 
 

I think we should look at ConorFynes' reviews carefully.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:20 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... ey_meedley

This one's probably a mercy killing because it's an overly-long track-by-track review. A fanboy 75% which doesn't really make much sense from a guy that's jizzes over the album.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... /ThrashInc

Approximately half of the review builds up to nothing but vague statements about Kreator still kicking ass. Doesn't describe the music much more beyond this:
Quote:
It has the straight-driving neo-Kreator vibe and vocals that allow it to fit nicely alongside Enemy of God and Violent Revolution, but it also has the furious and frantic riffing and drumming that is reminiscent of Kreator’s classic era ala Terrible Certainty, Extreme Aggression, and Coma of Souls. Surprisingly, it even captures the variety, complexity, and aggro-harshness of albums that flopped like Cause of Conflict (one of my favorites) and Outcast (one of my least favorite).


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... engel_hell

This one is another vague as fuck review. It doesn't look like it, and it's also written well enough to look beyond that, but it says nothing. The pinnacle of his description is "This track sets an accurate tone for what's to come on the rest of the record: aggressive thrash metal with a pissed-off mood and melodic riffs." No shit, that's typically what thrash metal is. Fails to address the production (merely states that it isn't "Pleasure to Kill"), vocals, and more.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/O ... ConorFynes
ConorFynes in his Still Life review wrote:
(beautifully written, especially for a death metal record)

:| but it's a prog album.
Quote:
Paired with the haunting music is an equally haunting storyline. I won't go into detail about the plot in fear of spoilers,

Is he fucking serious?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... /276/arhar

I'm not exactly sure if this reviewer (chick?) knows what they're talking about. The style clearly isn't heavy metal, unless metal counts as downtuned playing. Fails to mention a host of other elements with the album beyond that and the tribal elements. Forgets the fact that half of the entire review (that large paragraph before the end) is mindless ranting on the lyrics (about how they're good) and then comes up with a decision. Not an atrocious review, but definitely an outdated one that doesn't present itself very well.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 67/Defiler

This one is plagued by formatting and typo errors all over the place. Not a good review at all. I don't even think the guy has a proper grasp of the English language to be able to write a review.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... nix_Manhwa

Read this. Now. Engrish, and very bad.
Quote:
The guitars are pretty cool, and they're the way to distinguish one song from another, though they don't have great exploits in solos, due probably to the economy of songs than the technical limit of Andreas.


http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... 1/Egregius
Not good on the grounds that the guy talks around everything. He'll mention riffs and that the album is thrash, but he describes the music only by describing Schizophrenia (vaguely as well). Short and doesn't go anywhere after that.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/N ... 12242/DEEK
Doesn't do a very good job of describing the album. So bland and by the numbers. Not that it has to be super descriptive, but this kind of review met the standard for 2004, not for 2012. That's another way to put it.
Quote:
The album is simply amazing. "Takeahnase," the opener "To Crawl Under One's Skin," and the title track are just simply fantastic, "The Web" and "Flight" must be great moshers at shows, and "Sterile Vision," "Stripped" and "A Chronology for Survival" are more laid back, but still rockout as much as everything else on the album. As for the short interlude tracks ("Zero" and "Empty"), you practically need them in there to balance everything out, and yet, they don't slow the album down at all.
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Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

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GraveWish
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 7:49 am
Posts: 1392
PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:42 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... uitr_freek

Almost nothing about the music except one track.

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Morrigan
Crone of War

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2002 7:27 am
Posts: 10527
Location: Canada
PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:16 pm 
 

Okay enough, Ozzy. This thread is for reviews that are so bad they need to be nuked from the site, not for reviews that are merely average or mediocre (like arhar's and Egregius's). Let's not get overzealous now.
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Zodijackyl
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Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:34 pm 
 

Morrigan wrote:
This thread is for reviews that are so bad they need to be nuked from the site


Like this?

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/V ... cial_curse

"amazing and very technical ... Some of the music seems "kinda emo" but the breakdowns show that they aren't an emotional band and they are here to inflict pain to your ears. "

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oogboog
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:09 pm
Posts: 947
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:48 am 
 

This one has very few sentences dedicated to the music, some that don't go that deeply. It's also really short.

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:56 am 
 

oogboog wrote:
This one has very few sentences dedicated to the music, some that don't go that deeply. It's also really short.


Keep in mind that very little is better than nothing when there's only one review.

This one, on the other hand, seems to have been made completely obsolete by Drowned's quality review.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D ... ent_Storms

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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 6400
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:01 pm 
 

Is this guy even aware he is reviewing a grindcore album? Seriously, he wants solos on a grindcore album and the songs are too short?! What the...

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BastardHead
Worse than Stalin

Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:53 pm
Posts: 10857
Location: Oswego, Illinois
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 10:34 pm 
 

That Scum review has been brought up countless times, and I personally think it's not all that great and is pretty much the classic example of somebody completely missing the point of the genre, but it's stood for nearly five years and that won't change. It's not bad enough to nuke, and it does describe the music well, the dude is just kinda dumb is all.
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~Guest 82538
Metal freak

Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:34 am
Posts: 6400
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:15 pm 
 

Fair enough. :)

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Zodijackyl
63 Axe Handles High

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:39 pm
Posts: 7601
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 5:35 pm 
 

Unfortunately this is the only review for this band, but it is really bad.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/S ... kullfucked

This one's pretty rough, but there's only one other review.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/8 ... _vertigo99

:ugh:
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/8 ... 4_abortion

This one needs some spacing added, I'm not sure if that's something that is normally edited but it's pretty hard to read.
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/8 ... /Vim_Fuego

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Wilytank
Not a Flying Toy

Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:21 am
Posts: 5859
Location: 717
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:27 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... atHarrower

This one only talks about Bloodoline's portion of the split.
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OzzyApu
Metal freak

Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:11 am
Posts: 10821
Location: Seattle
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:30 pm 
 

Edit: Yes I know it looks like I'm squeezing in another list but these are more deserving than a few of the mediocre ones on the last list.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... laopium138

There are maybe 3 lines of description in this review. It's mostly a bland retelling of the reviewer's experience around the album, rather than actually talking about the music beyond mentioning standout songs (he pretty much lists the entire album) and calling things good.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/K ... Till_Death

A very outdated track by track review with super bland glances over the music. Reads like a first listen.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/G ... atteredSky

Guy piles the shit out of one paragraph all for a bad by-the-numbers track-by-track.
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