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GVOLTT
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 1:33 pm
Posts: 454
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 10:44 pm 
 

A review of Hemdale's Rad Jackson:
Quote:
Buy. This. CD. - 86%
Written by Cinerary on August 23rd, 2002

Death/Grind at its finest. This discography from these legendery death/grinders from Ohio features their demo, as well as their out-of-print splits with Exhumed, Exit-13, and Disgust. 37 tracks of pure fuckhatred. If you're into br00tality, then get the fuck off the computer and buy this CD!!!

Best songs: "Licking Mental Patients Cum off the Sheets", "Bathing in Mucas and Bile", "Demented Surgical Incest" and "Buried Under a Pile of Zombie Dung"


It doesn't describe the music (barely), and you can get the same information from the CD cover:
Image

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=4459

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erickg13
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:46 pm
Posts: 994
Location: The Middle of the Pacific Ocean.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:01 pm 
 

asmox's review of dream theater's octavarium is an okay review but it seems to have some weird font errors on it....

[quote]

The Culmination of 20 Years of Outstanding Music†- 45%
Written by asmox on November 27th, 2006


…and this is what they come up with?

Allow me to be blunt – I hate this album. I don’t hate it because it’s a bad album; I hate it because it’s a completely generic and blatantly derivative recording. Maybe I wouldn’t hate it so much if it had been released by some other band, but for a band of such caliber (and even more, for a band hailed as the gods of “progressiveâ€

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Noktorn
Metalhead

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:31 pm
Posts: 1712
Location: United States
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:06 pm 
 

I think it's that smart quotes problem we see from time to time.
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 672
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:42 pm 
 

Took care of both of those.
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Visionary
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 1766
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:47 pm 
 

A couple reviews for Sodom - Agent Orange

Quote:
Agent Badass - 83%
Written by DanFuckingLucas on March 5th, 2004

If you're reading this, it means you care what I think. That is pretty stupid. To counter this stupidity, do something wise, and buy this album. It's fucking great. You won't regret it.

I'm going to give you a track-by-track breakdown of this album, unlike I did with my last review, and tell you about the sound, and stuff.

The title track - the opening track - the first thing you hear when you put this thing in your player. It grabs you by the balls and says "I've come to kick your ass." Well, it sounds more like "Agent Orange, the fire that doesn't burn," but that's pretty much the same thing. This track kicks arse.

Tired and Red is my favourite track on the album. I love it when fast songs get all slow, and then just go cool and fast with a really catchy riff. That's what this song does. It owns you.

Incest is a cool song, I like it. Not as good as the first two, but regardless, infinately more badass than anything someone who lacks badass could ever put out.

Remember The Fallen is a fucking excellent song. I like it a lot. You should do, too. If not, then you are wrong, and should listen to it repeatedly until you accept that I am right. This way, you will also be right.

Magic Dragon is a song. A great song. It has music. Great music. It is about planes, that shoot the Vietcong. This is probably my second or third favourite track on the album, and if you listen to it, you'll know why. It is just great!

Exhibition Bout is a good song. I found it a bit boring the first couple of listens, but it's grown on me, sort of like a fungus, or a cancer, the only difference is that this is good. Very good.

Ausgebombt is just a fucking crazy badass song. If this song were a movie character, it would be Jules from Pulp Fiction. Bad. Mother. Fucker. This is my second favourite song on this album.

Baptism of Fire is a good song, but I always get it confused with Testament's Trial By Fire. Although I prefer Testament's song, this one is great, too. I like it, and so should you, if you like good music (sort of like that song, I can't remember which, but it starts off "Do you like good music?" It's an okay song, but who the fuck is gonna answer that "No?" I mean seriously! Anyway, I digress). Yes, this song is great!

Don't Walk Away. What can I say? A fucking great album is finished with this piece of crap. I mean seriously, this song is fucking horrible. It's less fun than stepping in dog shit. It IS dog shit. It sound's like a crappy punk cover or something. I mean, I don't mind punk, but this is pure shit. Absolutely fucking awful. Why the hell did they finish with this? This song is, for me, in the same league as mimes, clowns, ICP and Mike Patton.

Overall though, a sound album, with a great sound, that sounds mostly sound. After that sentence, however, the word 'sound' has now lost all meaning.

So, in layman's terms, this album fucking owns you, like a fucking slave. Go and buy this album. Now. And if you refuse, get back to that damn field, that cotton ain't gonna pick itself.

83%


As much as I like Dan this is a rather straightforward track by tracker without much musical description besides 'very good'

Quote:
Agent Orange - 100%
Written by Decepticon on March 30th, 2004

When the words Agent Orange are said, many things come to mind. To the majority of the world, it was a deadly gas sprayed around in one of the world's most violent wars. To a shop keep, it may refer to that as well as a heavy duty shop soap. But to metalheads around the world, when the words Agent Orange are mentioned one idea/statement comes to mind, "One of the greatest albums ever". Released in 1989 this is Sodom's 3rd full length studio album and in my opinon and I'm sure every Sodomaniac's their best. Sodom took an even bigger step into the world of melodic thrash than they did with their previous offering, Persecution Mania with parts from songs like Tired and Red, Ausegbombt, Baptism of Fire and the whole song Remeber the Fallen, a beautifully touching tribute to those who have died in worlds all around the world. And of course the're are the pure thrash numbers such as the title track, Magic Dragon, Exibition Bout and so fourth. Frank Blackfire's best work is on this album with blistering solos for example in Tired and Red and the title track. Chris Withchunter is at the top of his game on this one and Tom Angelripper, well all I can say is that this is his best work EVER. Sadly this was the last album to feature the best known Sodom line up as Frank Blackfire went on to join Kreator. The best album to come out of the German thrash scene??? Maybe. Go out and buy this album now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yawn.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2583
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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~Guest 3496
Exterminator 666 Does Not Answer

Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 8:19 am
Posts: 1532
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:56 pm 
 

Got rid of both. Boo to Dan for not knowing that "Don't Walk Away" is a Tank cover, and that Tank rules.

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Nargodath
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:31 pm
Posts: 69
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:49 pm 
 

Surprisingly Good! - 95%
Written by the_MoRTiCiAN on October 13th, 2003

This band is definitly going places. This band surpised me. From the first listen i was greatly impressed that a band that is not really well known, could sound so good and so professional.

This album has a sound which can best be described as Opeth meets black metal. Instead of death metal growling mixed with clean vocals (ala Opeth), Woods of Ypres is black metal style vocals mixed with clean vocals and done very well i might add. The musician-ship and song arrangements are of a very high quality and are much better then a lot of black metal out there. Most songs are longer then usual, often over 6 minutes (also like Opeth), but the band has managed to make things interesting and often times i am sorry that some of the songs are not longer.
--------------------------------------------------------------
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=9664
That might not be the only one on the page, either.
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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 672
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:41 pm 
 

Deleted one or two more than that one, but I'm in a rush. The other ones didn't look so terrible, but I could probably pick out more (or someone else). After all, I did annihilate the review page for "Nothing".
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ScaryEd
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:44 am
Posts: 3
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:43 am 
 

This is a review for Kalmah's "Swampsong".

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=17992#12839

Quote:
Hate Crew Ripoff - 68%
Written by requiem99 on September 2nd, 2004

Yet another Bodom rip-off band, Kalmah aren’t nearly as drab and uninteresting as the other primary Bodom copycats Norther, but they still fall far short of reaching the genius achieved by their only major influence.

Incredibly, a Bodom copycat band fails yet again to identify and copy the key technique that makes Children of Bodom such a wildfire success: Brilliantly catchy songs full of wild guitar riffs and insane keyboard solos. There are many bands that do this, but Children of Bodom, who invented the finpop/melodeath mixture in 1997 with their Something Wild debut full-length, are, to date, the only band to do it masterfully. Swampsong is reigned in, calculated, and slower paced, and that’s exactly why I hate it.

Bodom style power/death does not work when it is reigned in, calculated, and slower paced; you have to crank it up, throw in crazy instrumentals, and generally let loose as much passion as you can fit into the short runtime of a finpop power/death song. Bodom does this tremendously well, and that is why they still reign supreme over copycats like Kalmah and Norther, who will never reach Bodom’s critical or commercial successes even if they each release a dozen more albums.

Originally written for http://www.metalcrypt.com


I mean, it is an intelligent review, and the reviewer describes why he/she dislikes the album quite well, but I don't get much more out of the review than, "This is just a ripoff of Children of Bodom", "Children of Bodom is better because......" etc. I honestly cannot tell if this is a review for a Kalmah album, or a COB album, since the word's "Children of Bodom", or "Bodom" are mentioned 8 times. It's only comparing things, and not really describing anything in the music. (Besides what Children of Bodom does better)

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Kab
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 9:36 pm
Posts: 19
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:29 am 
 

That's all I see in Kalmah reviews. Christ, aren't Kalmah as old as Children of Bodom, if not older?

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CandideCamera
Pour l'encouragement des autres

Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 672
Location: The Known Universe
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:50 am 
 

You point out that one, but not KayTeeBee's? Hmph. I could have probably wiped out that middle one as well.
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immortalshadow666
Transilvanian sandwich, mould! MOULD!

Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:58 pm
Posts: 1612
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:43 am 
 

Napero wrote:
Nuked. It even had a smiley in it.

I also nuked their bio while at it. "The band is an orchestration of pure negative destructive abominations spewing forth in a sonic blitzkrieg unheard of." Useful and neutral indeed.


Either you didn't nuke it; or, it's back in a remarkably short period of time. Either way, the musical description you didn't take a liking to, is back with a vengeance.
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Pallando
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2003 1:29 am
Posts: 32
Location: China
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:59 am 
 

This Witchfinder General review is horrible:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=1278#7404

Quote:
Written by Satanic_Warmonger on June 13th, 2004

I found this release to be quite a change from my normal metal listenings: Capricornus, Der Sturmer, Grom. This is not like one of those bands. Witchfinder General indeed has a flavor of its own. I found this release to be also quite original, lyrics different than other bands especially. And also riffing naturally. Expect something with a Black Sabbath/Ozzy feeling. Death Penalty has strong Black Sabbath/Ozzy influence.

Vocals - (7 out of 10)
*No grunts/shrieks
*Vocals go well with the headbanging riffs
*Screams in the style of Ozzy/Black Sabbath
*Vocals are extremely understandable

Lyrics - (8 out of 10)
*Normally about drugs or sex with women and/or personal attitudes
*Sometimes hilarious, especially on "No Stayer"
* Who is DS?!?!

Guitar Work - (8 out of 10)
*Riffs are very Black Sabbath influenced
*Rather thrashy riffs at times
*Riffs go well with the headbanging vocals
*The Riff on "Invisible Hate" is really well done

Drum Work - (6 out of 10)
*Nothing fancy
*Some how manages to go well with the riffs being played
*Rotates from a fast paced beat to a slow paced beat numerous times


I'm not sure if this review for Root's Hell Symphony qualifies as oven fodder but it's certainly pretty substandard. The guy even gets their country of origin wrong. His other reviews tend to be painful reads as well.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3076#3336

Quote:
Written by Gortician on November 6th, 2003

Root is how black metal is supposed to sound! Raw, obscure, dirty, and most importantly purely fucking evil!!!
This album starts with a lengthy instrumental, setting a very sinister atmosphere before going into the acoustic intro of second song "Belial". Fourth track, "Abaddon" has a very interesting start to it, where they incorporate some horns or something which have a great affect. Sometimes the vocals stray into death metal territory, being that they get slightly guttural at times.
"Asmodeus" is my favourite track on this, I could easily says its the most violent (or "black" if you will) composition on "Hell Sympony".
Musical comparison? Well, I've not ever heard a band that sounded like Root, though early Necromantia (Crossing the fiery path) and maybe Christ Agony (Trilogy) may come a tad close.
I'm certain that Root are the most underated black metal band in history, though this may have something to do with them coming form a place like Hungary, instead of Norway where everything seemed to get attention.
I'll sum this up for everyone in five words : Evil, Obscure and A Must Have!

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matelko
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2003 7:37 am
Posts: 6
Location: Czech Republic
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:21 am 
 

please delete this review http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=907 thanks

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Visionary
Metalhead

Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:57 pm
Posts: 1766
Location: United States of America
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 11:46 am 
 

matelko wrote:
please delete this review http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=907 thanks

That is a horrible review. "This cd has everything I love about metal! Aggressive riffs, Catchy choruses, and cool lyrics! " And that is the only musical description.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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DeathForBlitzkrieg
A Dead Man's Robe

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:23 pm
Posts: 784
Location: Pannonia
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:21 pm 
 

Kampfar - Norse EP

Quote:
A bit dissapointing is the smal number of songs, but that is expectable, seeing as this is an E.P., but what songs that are actually on this, are all good songs, 1st song norse combines strong norse/pagan lyrics in a voice that sounds slightly similar to ...........of Dimmu Borgir, a prominent, solid, steady drumming track, melodic rythm and a litttle riff that justs keeps repeating to give the song added melody all the way through.
2nd song Troll the lyrics are about somefuckinthing (theyre norwegian), but the song starts of with a dramaticsounding-pagan-dark-norse riff, whatever that shit means, but jumps to fast melodic black metal after 1.oo minute, this should have been cut down to around 30 to 40 seconds to wait, but nevertheless this song is the best on the album, it has basically the same format as norse, as in drums, guitars, voice, just with a diffferent layout of the melody, if you dont know what i mean then bad luck, i'm not explaining.
track 3: taering, once again the lyrics are in fucking norwegian (nothing against norwegians)again, but it has this happy-pagan-norse-folkdancing riff at the start, mixed with handclaps and humms????


http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=14647#4456
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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:54 pm 
 

The last one was nuked. The rest were already gone.

And that silly bigraphy is gone as well. If it comes back once more, it will be a good time for some investigating.
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Lokar
Metal newbie

Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:12 pm
Posts: 67
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:10 pm 
 

Gah, I reported this one review for Todesstoss' Spiegel der Urängste earlier (on the grounds of incomprehensible bizarro English), and guess what? Whoever wrote it just resubmitted it without making any corrections to said bizarro English, and it got accepted AGAIN. So please, just delete this and don't let it back in until this guy's taken a course in basic grammar.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=53211

Quote:
Mirror of Fears - 97%
Written by So_It_Is_Done on November 14th, 2006

Starting from the first feelings about this album, the thing that strikes one’s eyes at the very beginning is the cover art. The guy sitting on the leather couch with his eyes and mouth wrapped looks like a victim of some perversion. In fact, what I suppose, the bandages stimulate imagination and lead him to the depth of his mind. The same passage we must cross while we listen to this album, otherwise the enormous power of “Spiegel Der Urangste” won’t be revealed.

Sombre voyage into the deepest place of consciousness, and extreme fear of what lurks there is a purpose of the title song. Beginning with very unique riffs and percussion, which sounds more like knocking, song evolves into the masterpiece of form. Variety of tempos and melodies create unrepeatable atmosphere. The portion of feelings served by this piece of art is overwhelming, coexisting depression exudes from every sound. Although very simplistic in case of instruments, the atmosphere shocks and causes shivers. A voyage is depicted by melancholic howls of guitars creating such weird and unusual melodies... From time to time keyboard can be heard but only to strengthen the whole melody; keyboards doesn’t play a significant role in this orchestra of subconsciousness. The mirror of fears which was the desire of the seeker is found...yet not so fulfilling as he thought it’ll be...

The anger and terrible ecstasy embraces listener from the first sounds of the next song. Insane vocals almost hurt ears, they are very similar to those from Burzum, yet they sound more aggressively and such strangely that one may think they are articulated by some non human form of life. Lyrics are powerfull as well, they continue the vision and flow of depression. After the seeker had discovered the mirror of fears and found his transcendence, he now wanders at the blood soaked sand in bitter satisfaction and ecstasy. Guitar melody reminds of calm waves ebbing and flowing since the creation of sea, still with same frequency and with no aim and reason at all. The destination is complete; however, there’s still no fulfillment, monotony of this peaceful and gloomy landscape causes depression. Further part of the song shows that transcendence and unity can only be found in the abyss of bloody sea. Guitars and drums start to play much faster again to indicate the anger and hate towards nonsense of life. Wanderer plunges himself into the depths of overwhelming water to reunite with nature and elements, suicide is the only reasonable way to stop his desires of looking for fulfillment in eternity.

The journey ends with the end of the album. We can unwrap the bandages from our eyes after those 22 minutes of burying ourselves in thoughts. After that depression is as big as it was before listening, and we see that there’s only one way to mitigate the pain...

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:02 pm 
 

Gone.
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Radagast
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:41 pm
Posts: 224
Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:22 am 
 

Deicide's Scars of the Crucifix could do with a pruning.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=29944

Quote:
Pretty Good - 90%
Written by MaliceInWonderland on January 23rd, 2005


Scars of the Crucifix is one of the better albums from Deicide not there best but it's up there. Deicide as always has the Death metal sound with the Satanic lyrics making you want to torture Christians for hours. Track 1 (Scars of the Crucifix) was one of my favorite tracks but I just listened to it so much it lost its shine, the guitar works are fast and heavy as all Hell, Glenn uses his whole vocal effects which sound like death metal with a bunch of demons screaming. Good start so far. Track 2 (Mad at God) is one of those songs you don't get into the first listen but eventually it grows on you. The riffs are catchy especially at the chorus and the drums just make it that much better. Track 3 (Conquered By Sodom) will definatly get your head banging. The riffs arent as heavy as usual but it's played extremely fast with such an awesome drum pattern it's just great. Track 4 (Fuck your God) is one of my favorite songs from Deicide. The riffs are just SO damn catchy. This is one of those songs where you gotta bust out the lyric sheet cause all you'll get is fuck your God. Track 5 (When Heaven Burns) ah didn't like it. Track 6 (Enchanted Nightmare) starts off with an odd/heavy sound I can't really describe it. This is where the listener may start to grow tired of the vocal affects, it is just used all the damn time but the song is still good none the less. Track 7 (From Darkness Comes) is one of the reasons I bought this cd, it is Deicide at their best. It has that trademark Deicide sound that if you heard the first few seconds you'd know it was Deicide. This song is definatly something you'll throw your horns up and headbang to. The only flaw is the guitar solo, it doesnt tie in with the riffs at all. Track 8 (Go now your Lord is Dead) has its moments you just love, The vocal affects are at its best here. The riffs are toned down a little more than usual due to the overpowering vocals until the solo kicks in. Track 9 (The Penecostal) is one song I still won't like, I've listened to it once and it sounds something like a nu metal band would make and it ends off with some weird ass piano which throws the album completely off. If you are a fan of Deicide and don't own this already pick it up, it comes with a bonus DVD which is basically in the life of Deicide which isnt the best thing they can throw in there but hey it's something. All and all this album is awesome.


This one in particular is really bad.

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DeathForBlitzkrieg
A Dead Man's Robe

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:23 pm
Posts: 784
Location: Pannonia
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 6:36 pm 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=6053

All reviews for that album, barring the last one, are really bad, in the first one the guy tell us how excited he was when the band signed to his favourite label. :lol:

For the sake of preservation:

Quote:
Dont let word of mouth turn you away from this album. Even though these guys basically re-wrote Carcass' - Symphonies Of Sickness with thier own added twists doesnt mean it sucks. What we have here is the epitome of Carcass worship, and these guys are fucking good at it!! Some seriosly sick vocals and almost identical production as the early Carcass. The lyrics are a step by step postmortem procedure, and I admitt I was impress with their medical knowledge. If you like these bands:

Carcass
General Surgery
Impaled
Heamorrahge
Exhumed

Then you will like The County Medical Examiners.


Quote:
Everythings from their cover to the music sounds 100% CARCASS influenced (not to say anything else...). It seems to me they cut all the photos from their old "Reek of putrefaction" LP and paste it on a piece of skin to buil a "new" cover.
The music sounds 100% into old CARCASS ("Symphonies of sickness") as if the guys were listening to it everydays since it was released. They also have some SANITYS DAWN and EXHUMED touches. Also a bit of GENERAL SUGERY and a few EXIT 13 like high pitched vocals ("Ethos music").
It lacks of grinding, gore and cynical energy for my CARCASS filled guts. No riff sound bad, and the whole is correctly constructed, but some personal or good gut splashing riffs are fucking needed!! It's a shame I got no surprise listening to this LP, and they sound too much like Bill Steer's formation, they sound like a clone by moments. Old days' CARCASS fans may find it cool, but some albums such as REGURGITATE's 1st Fulllength LP were far more expressive in the strongly influenced CARCASS' style. I unfortunately found nothing great here...


Quote:
Pure, unadulterated and unabashed CARCASS worship is what you will get when picking up this debut, full length by these 3 US doctors of Grindgore. The worship is mainly centered around the first two CARCASS works of art. I keenly remember when I first discovered their website and downloaded the demo available there so when I found out they got signed to one of my newfound favourite labels for Grind / Death Metal I was very excited. I certainly wasn´t let down with this fantastic album. I highly recommend it.
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:43 pm 
 

Executed.
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asmox
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:57 pm
Posts: 5
Location: United States
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:34 pm 
 

I submitted two reviews tonight - Cynic's Focus and Dream Theater's Octavarium. Both reviews appear to have suffered from whatever causes weird non-alphanumeric characters to replace normal characters. I won't blame you guys if you decide to nuke them. If you do, I'll just rewrite both of them in notepad and resubmit.

Fuck Word.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=77078
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=388

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Napero
GedankenPanzer

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:16 pm
Posts: 8817
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:56 pm 
 

Both seem OK to me. Anyone else get any strange characters?

I rejected a couple of reviews for that reason just moments ago, though. If anyone knows what causes it, I'd be happy to hear, it would be useful when writing rejections. It's much more useful to give some advice while at it, and sometimes that happens to lamentably good reviews, too.
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Nightgaunt
I'll Swallow Your Soul

Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 9:50 pm
Posts: 2922
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 8:37 pm 
 

I don't see anything weird in either of those asmox just posted, but I do sometimes see some very strange characters in reviews, often in place of certain types of (common) punctuation. Apparently, in any given review, some users might see strange characters, while others see everything as commonplace. This suggests to my (practically lay, I admit) thinking that maybe it has something to do with individual users' browser settings coming into conflict at different times with something quirky in the site's code....but that's just a wild guess on my part, really.

I suppose it is a bit of a nuisance. I wish I knew what caused it, and how to treat it, but I don't.
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:09 am 
 

I don't see anything wrong with these reviews as well.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 4:52 pm 
 

Kreator Endless Pain. 5 Other reviews for this release to.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=805
Quote:
Gave it another chance... - 78%
Written by JohnGargo on March 18th, 2003

...and it's much better than I remembered it. Of course, after having listened to PLEASURE TO KILL (incredible), TERRIBLE CERTAINTY (fucking solid), EXTREME AGGRESSION (amazing) and COMA OF SOULS (masterpiece), I felt compelled to give this debut another shot. The production is just as bad as I remembered it, but the songs much better. If it wasn't for the muddled sound, I'd probably enjoy it even more...

There are some quality riffs buried under the noise here, although the vocals could be much better (and they do on subsequent releases). Still, it's pretty damn good for a bunch of kids that took the day off of school to put down some thrash to tape. Thankfully, they decided to give up on that useless timewaster and devote themselves completely to kicking our asses, and we're all better off for that.

Anyway, like I said, riffs... some great riffs here and there. The songwriting would eventually catch up with them on the next album and we'd get something that was consistantly awesome from beginning to end, but you can really see the seeds of brilliance begin to grow here. The aggression is there, the songs sound evil and the solos are also pretty fucking good. All they needed was to polish up the writing and then they'd get brilliant. For that, go to the next album...


Kreator - Flag of Hate (EP)
More of a description than a review.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=803
Quote:
This Has One Of The Coolest Thrash Songs EVER!!! - 90%
Written by Dead_As_A_Door_Nail on October 14th, 2003

...And that song is "Awakening The Gods". Yes, this song rules. Is it worth getting just this song? HELL, YES!!! One of the coolest intros ever is in this song, it's stuffed silly with delicious thrash riffs and at over 7 minutes long...it never gets boring. You'll be too busy salivating over all those great riffs! Then you'll want to hear them again, and again, and again, and next thing you know, you can't LIVE without hearing this song at least five times a day! Well...maybe not. But i'm sure you get my point. But how are the other songs, you say? Well, I'll tell you. "Flag Of Hate" is your standard pummeling thrasher, nothing too special, but it does the trick. The intro riff is mighty nice, as well. And "Take Their Lives" is another slid thrasher, except it might need a little shortening. It certainly wouldn't hurt. Yeh, it's a bit overlong (6:27), but it doesn't nessessarily hurt the overall quality of the song, but it is the weakest song here.

So, whether you get this EP on it's own, with the "Endless Pain" album, or with the "Pleasure To Kill" album, where it's listed as bonus tracks, either way,you should get this any way you can, just for "Awakening The Gods". And Might I suggest getting th


Not his worst review but far from a good review
Quote:
TAKE THEIR LIVES! - 85%
Written by ironasinmaiden on February 23rd, 2003

Hmm... it is quite unfortunate that 2 outstanding Kreator tunes are buried on this single/EP. Apparently Noise reissued Endless Pain with "Flag of Hate" as bonus tracks, so mad props.

In any case, Take Their Lives and Awakening of the Gods are essential for Kreator fans and fans of germanic thrash in general. The former bears a set of high caliber riffs (especially the fucking bridge section!) and some seriously sick lyrics. Not gore sick, but a "murder your own children in a temporary lapse of sanity" sick. Awakening of Gods is one of the few great epic thrash songs put to print. Hmm... as a matter of fact, Take Their Lives is pretty damn long as well.

"Flag of Hate" is a rerecorded, slightly faster version of the song from Endless Pain. I personally prefer the original.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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Nargodath
Metal newbie

Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:31 pm
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 9:53 pm 
 

http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=26310
Both suck hard. I usually only review virgins, but methinks I'll try my hand here.
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immortalshadow666
Transilvanian sandwich, mould! MOULD!

Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:58 pm
Posts: 1612
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:37 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=298#23676

DethMaiden's review for Slaughter of the Soul is fairly crappy. It's recent yet it still contains a track-by-track listing and very little else. And does he even own any recordings? He referred to the twins as the "Lindberg brothers"... Tompa Lindberg being the singer. It's the BJORLER brothers, fuckwit.


As for this review of the new Disgorge album, little more needs to be said other than "He threw it out his car window, yet he still gave it 68%".

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=75595
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DeathForBlitzkrieg
A Dead Man's Robe

Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 1:23 pm
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Location: Pannonia
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:06 pm 
 

Otyg - Sagovindars Boning

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=278#92

Quote:
So, this is Mr. Vintersorgs other band, Otyg, wich sounds like a hybrid between metal and folkmusic.
I must say, that this is one of the better bands int the genre, both lyricsvise and musicsvise. On top of that I would like to claim that Vintersorg´s voice sounds much better on these recordings than on his soloact.
Then we have Cia Hedmark, who really steals the show with both her violin and her voice. Unfortunately, one can rarely hear her singing on this record, but on the other hand, you can´t have it all.

Another downturn on this little disc is that it doesn´t hold as many hits as on the preceeder Älvefärd. There´s just not as many tunes that sticks in your head, and that´s a small minus.

Well, it´s nevertheless an excellent album, but as I said, I would really want to hear some more from Cia, and some more hits wouldn´t do any damage.
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Radagast
Metal newbie

Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 6:41 pm
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Location: United Kingdom
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:10 pm 
 

MettleAngel strikes again:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 7657#48565

Quote:
Anthem To The Brave - 94%
Written by MettleAngel on July 3rd, 2006


Many, many years ago the Gods of Wrath and second chance began their merciless onslaught and the final word was spoken as the hitman, Kurt Vanderhoof founded and fortified his Metal Church. This bulwark and battalian essentially being the dark blessing in disguise, hanging in the balance between the human factor and the weight of the world. Now, 20 aeons later, a light in the dark casts its shadow over the western alliance, leaving them behind. Beyond all reason, the powers that be prove once again their mettle ecumenism quelling all your sorrows. The Mirror lies beyond the black; indeed, it's a secret, know well that the spell won't be broken when one is blinded by life; waiting for the fake healer to remove him from harm's way, lest he falldown, for he is the psycho in mourning, who watches the children pray for a saviour under a sunless sky, in the temples of the sea.

The brave believer in Metal Church's pill for the kill won't be disappointed this time around as the band have truly created a masterpiece. This is the second SPV release to feature former Rottweiller vocalist Ronny Munroe and the licensed to kill guitar malice of Jay Reynolds; who in the beginning was not widely welcomed as an adequate replacement for John Marshall. This time around, Kirk Arrington rests his unsound mind in peace as ex-Savatage drummer Jeff Plate pays heed the siren's call. Metal church fans are treated to 60 minutes of pure metal might in this method to madness. The title track just gets the adrenaline pumping as the next cut starts the fire burning and "Mirror of Lies" hits you like a ton of bricks! The guitar work is superb. The epic cut "Temples of the Sea" evokes classic Dio and Jag Panzerisms. Throughout the entire CD, the listener may detect classic Metal Church style riffing; but the melodies remain vigorous and vital. Ronny's vocals escalate with each note; never becoming too shrill. He is the perfect balance between the late reverend David Wayne and the cradle to grave Mike howls. Mr. Howe may have disappeared on his date with poverty feeling slightly betrayed like a little boy; but Mr. Munroe's madman's overture solidifies the sound for which Metal church have been striving. Time will tell which Metal church line-up of death the hero's souls selects; but for now Kurt and company's anthems to the estranged transcend the badlands, until the end of an age.

Some real stand-out tracks include "Mirror of Lies", "Pill for the Kill" and the 2006 version of "Watch the Children Pray" a ennobling tribute to David Wayne. On this slice of stealth; itself a spiritual superlative for lovers and madmen, Ronny definitely deviates from the typical Wayne whine and wheeze, operating as the trained conductor of convexity and chaos, augmenting his own twist in the myth, leaving the listener hypnotized.

As originally posted at http://www.metalcdratings.com

Not one of his worst but that's hardly saying much. How they keep getting accepted is beyond me.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:27 pm 
 

Radagast wrote:
MettleAngel strikes again:

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 7657#48565

Quote:
Anthem To The Brave - 94%
Written by MettleAngel on July 3rd, 2006


Many, many years ago the Gods of Wrath and second chance began their merciless onslaught and the final word was spoken as the hitman, Kurt Vanderhoof founded and fortified his Metal Church. This bulwark and battalian essentially being the dark blessing in disguise, hanging in the balance between the human factor and the weight of the world. Now, 20 aeons later, a light in the dark casts its shadow over the western alliance, leaving them behind. Beyond all reason, the powers that be prove once again their mettle ecumenism quelling all your sorrows. The Mirror lies beyond the black; indeed, it's a secret, know well that the spell won't be broken when one is blinded by life; waiting for the fake healer to remove him from harm's way, lest he falldown, for he is the psycho in mourning, who watches the children pray for a saviour under a sunless sky, in the temples of the sea.

The brave believer in Metal Church's pill for the kill won't be disappointed this time around as the band have truly created a masterpiece. This is the second SPV release to feature former Rottweiller vocalist Ronny Munroe and the licensed to kill guitar malice of Jay Reynolds; who in the beginning was not widely welcomed as an adequate replacement for John Marshall. This time around, Kirk Arrington rests his unsound mind in peace as ex-Savatage drummer Jeff Plate pays heed the siren's call. Metal church fans are treated to 60 minutes of pure metal might in this method to madness. The title track just gets the adrenaline pumping as the next cut starts the fire burning and "Mirror of Lies" hits you like a ton of bricks! The guitar work is superb. The epic cut "Temples of the Sea" evokes classic Dio and Jag Panzerisms. Throughout the entire CD, the listener may detect classic Metal Church style riffing; but the melodies remain vigorous and vital. Ronny's vocals escalate with each note; never becoming too shrill. He is the perfect balance between the late reverend David Wayne and the cradle to grave Mike howls. Mr. Howe may have disappeared on his date with poverty feeling slightly betrayed like a little boy; but Mr. Munroe's madman's overture solidifies the sound for which Metal church have been striving. Time will tell which Metal church line-up of death the hero's souls selects; but for now Kurt and company's anthems to the estranged transcend the badlands, until the end of an age.

Some real stand-out tracks include "Mirror of Lies", "Pill for the Kill" and the 2006 version of "Watch the Children Pray" a ennobling tribute to David Wayne. On this slice of stealth; itself a spiritual superlative for lovers and madmen, Ronny definitely deviates from the typical Wayne whine and wheeze, operating as the trained conductor of convexity and chaos, augmenting his own twist in the myth, leaving the listener hypnotized.

As originally posted at http://www.metalcdratings.com

Not one of his worst but that's hardly saying much. How they keep getting accepted is beyond me.


:lol: It's like reading a fantasy novel.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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Lord_Jotun
Veteran

Joined: Sat Sep 13, 2003 5:02 pm
Posts: 2747
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:54 pm 
 

Nargodath wrote:
http://metal-archives.com/review.php?id=26310
Both suck hard. I usually only review virgins, but methinks I'll try my hand here.


Funny, I thought about reviewing that too since I rediscovered Mortifera last week. :)
However I'm busier than ever now, so I'll have skip it for a while I'm afraid. Dammit.
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Sean16
Moody Tabulator of Torn Hymens

Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 11:03 am
Posts: 394
Location: France
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 3:27 pm 
 

Radagast wrote:
MettleAngel strikes again:

(...)

Not one of his worst but that's hardly saying much. How they keep getting accepted is beyond me.


This MettleAngel review is as awful as his other works, but what could be done? As wordy and ridicule as it is, it still follows the guidelines: it's long enough, it isn't track-by-track, it describes the music (even if this last point might be debatable). I mean, there is no OBJECTIVE reason to delete it.

Though if it was up to me, it would have vanished into oblivion long ago.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 3:45 pm 
 

Sean16 wrote:
Radagast wrote:
MettleAngel strikes again:

(...)

Not one of his worst but that's hardly saying much. How they keep getting accepted is beyond me.


This MettleAngel review is as awful as his other works, but what could be done? As wordy and ridicule as it is, it still follows the guidelines: it's long enough, it isn't track-by-track, it describes the music (even if this last point might be debatable). I mean, there is no OBJECTIVE reason to delete it.

Though if it was up to me, it would have vanished into oblivion long ago.


Review Guidelines wrote:
Please, when you review an album, try to stick to the album content. It doesn't matter how well written it is, how poetic it sounds, how original it is, if all you do is make silly metaphors that go nowhere mean nothing.

Couldn't it be argued that there is to many metaphors?
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:24 pm 
 

What happened to Clanny's Glorius Burden Review? I remember he rewrote it and it was much better. I also thought he had an Opeth review at one point.
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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rockero81
Mallcore Kid

Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:22 am
Posts: 22
Location: Spain
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:42 am 
 

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=74154

Quote:
Killed by Mantas. - 90%
Written by Annihilaytorr on July 24th, 2005

If your only experience with pre-faggot, 90s era sensitive Death, is Scream Bloody Gore or Leprosy, you have no idea what the fuck Death was about. This is one of the earliest Death Metal releases, and one of the ugliest recordings Death Metal has ever known. Some of the compositions here also appear on the first Death LP, but while Scream Bloody Gore pounds a spike through your head with massive, driving riffs and clear, coherent production, this release ripps at your stomach and tears out your intestines like a rabid canid creature, mangled and perverse. Production here opitomizes the 80s garage sound. Guitar tone is a serrated, static buzz. The drums are randomly burried under the mash of chaos. Kam Lee's, unlike later Death, which follow the Jeff Becerra school, are an indistinguishable torrent of mutant grunts(more similar to second wave DM then the typical 80s sound), and vomit.

There is so much rage, hatred and putrid feeling in this music that it is near impossible to believe the same man recorded The Sound of Perseverance. Mantas is recommended to absolutely everyone, except for you progressive jizzrock faggots who idolize that crappy shit this band later began shitting out regularly. Fuck off and die. Hail Mantas.

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erickg13
Metalhead

Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:46 pm
Posts: 994
Location: The Middle of the Pacific Ocean.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:33 am 
 

i dont think this one is on par with the reviews surrounding it

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=840

Quote:
Not a thrash album, but a HEAVY METAL one!!!!!! - 92%
Written by skolnick on February 10th, 2003


Metallica’s first release of the 90’s couldn’t be better...or in other ways, i guess it could be, but i have no major complaints about this album. “Metallica” was the very first superbly produced and complete album from the San Francisco ex- Thrashers. They have made an important transition in their sound that wasn’t accepted very well by the hardcore fans and it’s still not accepted today by some of them…I just cannot comprehend this… I prefer the thrash Metallica, and of course, when I say that in other ways this could be better, I just think that they shouldn’t have stepped completely aside from their thrash roots, still, this is a HEAVY METAL album, no one can deny it, and although not being thrash, it’s heavier than hell.
Then, one thing that really pisses me off about this is the fact the some may consider them some sellouts just for having two fuckin ballads on the record. This is pathetic and hilarious. In fact, hearing it very well, it will make everyone realise that this is one of the albums where Metallica has the thickest and heaviest guitar sound…the other one only managed to have this kind of sound was “Ride the Lightning”. “…and Justice for All” had some really aggressive guitars, but in comparison to this, it just doesn’t sound as powerful as “The Black Album” ’s riffage, and I’m not talking about speed, but power!!!

The production made by Bob Rock is perfect, this was a really good work made by him at a time when he has still far from ruining Metallica’s soul and heavy spirit…Good sound coming from all of the instruments and really good voice from James Hetfield. Kirk’s solos are also hyperactive and technically amazing and the really big step on this one is the presence of the bass guitar by Newsted, something that we were unable to hear in their previous album due to mastering problems…

In this metal masterpiece we have some of their best classics, and some really great songs. Songs like “Enter Sandman”, “Holier than Thou”, “Wherever I May Roam”, “Don’t Tread on Me”, “Through The Never” and “The Struggle Within” are really excellent stuff by them, being some good and interesting headbanging experiences, and the perfect reminders that Metallica, although not practising thrash any longer, were still there to kick some serious ass…well, at least for the next four years…
We also have two ballads (??…Metallica making ballads in a few years??…NAH!!!), and even before you just start swearing about these songs, just give yourself the time to try to understand and enjoy them. “The Unforgiven” is really great…combines some cool acoustic guitar melodies with some good aggressive parts and is just responsible for having one of Kirk Hammett’s best solos IN his entire career. “Nothing Else Matters” is the other ballad, and might I say what a beautiful one…This one, more than a song, is a lesson on how to live…
We have then the “musically grown up” Metallica songs. Something really different from what they’ve been practising in the years before this. Tunes like “Sad But True”, “Of Wolf And Man”, the excellent “The God that Failed” and the angry “My Friend of Misery” only proved that the guys were really open minded about something else going out there and made these ones an essential listening on this one.

Everyone just blames this album for being the first step for Metallica’s spirit and heaviness decadence. There’s something really important that I think Metallica fans should know…changing your ideas or getting some new perspectives from each subject doesn’t mean you are a non-personality man or a big motherfuckin sellout… It’s true that Metallica got weaker in the years that came (that’s another story…) but I can only blame one single guy for that: BOB ROCK. This change of musical attitude didn’t made any harm to their spirit at this time, a time when they still had control of their musical direction…So, if you wanna tear apart “Load” or “Reload” or even spell a curse on Bob Rock’s “bon jovi ass”, fine…but you cannot do that to “Metallica”. This is in my perspective an excellent album and showed us a heavy and renewed
Metallica that had two ways they could be following in the future. Unfortunately we already know which one they did take…


possesses a lot of these *...* , not to mention it kinda has this weird spacing on the page...

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:12 pm 
 

Quote:
Desire for Torment - 97%
Written by Morfeo666 on September 26th, 2004

Here comes the debut album of these gore grinders, however members of this band have a lot of experience gained in other bands (e.g. HATE). 14 songs full of "Humiliation, sadomasochism and punishment". Grinding guitars together with blasting drums (Daray - recorded the drums on Vader "The Beast"), puking vocal of Analripper, sick lyrics and graphics. I really recommend this album to all fans of Mortician, Terrorizer, Napalm Death, even Carcass.


This could describe 95% of grindcore bands.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=47375#7063
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taleskiss on Kiss wrote:
They influenced MOST of the metal bands of our days, and they are not part of this site? This is unacceptable!!!
I would like to know why is that???
Because they are not considered metal? This is not fare!!!

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_Aargh
Metalhead

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 2:11 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Finland
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:27 pm 
 

Nunslaughter - The Guts of Christ
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=18082

Quote:
One of my favourite ever demos. - 85%
Written by Gortician on December 16th, 2003

This is one dark, evil piece of death metal history. Definitely the best Nunslaughter release in my opinion.
It begins with a sample from "Bram Stoker's Dracula", It breaks into the music, dirty satanic death which I love.
My favourite track on here is "Sacrificial Zombie", excellent song with cool but cheesy as hell lyrics.Sadly though, it is after this that things go a little downhill and get slower and kinda boring.
Get this demo before getting any thing else by this band, it's a MUST HAVE!!!


He doesn't really say anything about the music, except that the last songs are "slower and kinda boring".

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