No, seriously, WHAT IS THAT?

Edit: Seriously someone clean that guy's reviews out of here. He has a lot. Somehow. HOW?

No way if you can't see it I cannot possibly help you.

Aw I wanted to see it

Does anyone remember the reviewer's name? Cause I wanna read the rest of his reviews so that we can start a petition to get rid of him.

I could've sworn he was the one who plagiarized a bunch of reviews from some magazine or something, a few weeks ago...

I think it was he who goes by the brilliant moniker of "Invaginator". Actually, I've scanned a couple of his other reviews and they don't seem to be too bad or at least not on the same level as that Deicide review. Makes me think might have been sloshed when he penned that gem.

Thanks Doc Oc.

The latest review might be okay, but to me it sounds oddly similar in statements with corviderrant's review, without renewing anything.
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=2306

I first heard Sleep Terror in early 2005 when they had a jam room they rented at Studio 7. First door on the right. I remember Dougie from Barefoot Barnacle was like, "you have to hear this band!" So we walked across the hall into their jam room and there was Luke and Dave (old drummer) chilling. I had no idea what to expect, I was just like "WHOA a 2 piece!" sarcastically like it wasn't going to be anything special. As soon as they started playing I wanted to cry; I wanted to rip my eyelids off; I almost fainted; luke's fingers moved so fast and dave was the best drummer I have ever seen in front of me. FUCKING A. SOOOO BADASS. I have seen them live once at the martha lake community center in bothell w/ a bunch of emo bands and they destroyed everyone and had their mouf's to DA GROUND> haha. After they moved to cali, they came back to studio 7 in august to play a show and there were probably 300-400? people there. Myspace helped those guys take off for sure. They are perfect live. Make sure to keep an eye on future projects that dave does even though he's not in sleep terror anymore he is an amazing drummer. I will always be a loyal fan of sleep terror, unless they actually become real terrorists. As long as luke keeps playing his lighting blazing arpeggios and badass riffs I will like them. I think alot of people agree this is the best and most original band to come out in a lonnngggg lonnngg while.

Very Solid EP - 80%
Written by DYNAROUGE on July 25th, 2007

The first release from a soon-to-be legendary porngrind/death metal band, Cock And Ball Torture (or CnBT, for short). This 1998 EP is a great introduction to CnBT and contains some short, sweet and brutally arousing grindcore. And while no particular track 'stands out' on this release, as a whole it is a violent, face-melting experience that is worth picking up.

Sure, there are other releases by CnBT that are more brutal sounding (such as the 2000 release Opus(sy) IV), but as far as solid releases go, Cocktales is probably the best in terms of initial releases for a band that I have ever heard. And while not perfect, clearly good enough that they were able to launch a career from it.

This guy just signed up and started with Root reviews, but he can't write. At all. Who accepts this garbage?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 901#119282

His other Root review is worthless too, also on the front page as of this writing.

Saw them earlier and agree, he can't write worth a dime.

This guy just signed up and started with Root reviews, but he can't write. At all. Who accepts this garbage?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.ph ... 901#119282

His other Root review is worthless too, also on the front page as of this writing.

What the fuck are these?
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=15636
http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=19138
As far as I can see, mutiilator is a really big Vrolok fan.

Damn, I just entered and was planning to throw shit at his review too.

Damn, I just entered and was planning to throw shit at his review too.

I agree 100% with the first reviewer. Between The Buried and Me's Alaska is a record that shows a great deal of growth and promise but sometimes loses itself and feels self-indulgent simply for the sake of being self-indulgent.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=87825#70081

Is this allowed?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=87825#70081

Is this allowed?

Sheer brilliance - 97%
Written by StainedClass on August 6th, 2007

Deathspell Omega are back with their first full-length album in over 3 years. I had been looking forward to this album. I had enjoyed their early albums but I loved Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice. I was so surprised at first listen of that one, as it sounds so unlike most black metal. So with this album, I was expecting something great. My expectations were actually exceeded.

Heavy, fast and chaotic, this is unlike any other black metal band out there. Imagine Gorguts-style riffing combined with the atmosphere and ideals of traditional black metal and put the two in a blender. Now speed it up and you’re probably half-way there. Yes, this album is chaotic and insane, but it is also very atmospheric and creates a great mood while listening to it. The album makes you forget about all the crappy black metal bands who do little more than rip off Burzum and call themselves “ambient” out there. The chaos is often broken up with slow, clean sections. Often, breaks like this with clean guitars seem to just extend the song lengths, as opposed to being used to create a good atmosphere and break up the brutality and chaos. HeDeathspell Omega are back with their first full-length album in over 3 years. I had been looking forward to this album. I had enjoyed their early albums but I loved Si Monumentum Requires, Circumspice. I was so surprised at first listen of that one, as it sounds so unlike most black metal. So with this album, I was expecting something great. My expectations were actually exceeded.

Heavy, fast and chaotic, this is unlike any other black metal band out there. Imagine Gorguts-style riffing combined with the atmosphere and ideals of traditional black metal and put the two in a blender. Now speed it up and you’re probably half-way there. Yes, this album is chaotic and insane, but it is also very atmospheric and creates a great mood while listening to it. The album makes you forget about all the crappy black metal bands who do little more than rip off Burzum and call themselves “ambient” out there. The chaos is often broken up with slow, clean sections. Often, breaks like this with clean guitars seem to just extend the song lengths, as opposed to being used to create a good atmosphere and break up the brutality and chaos. Here, the breaks are all justified and all succeed in serving a purpose, just as the fast heavy sections succeed. Save for the intro and the outro tracks (both entitled Obombration, possibly to imply that the album is to be listened to in a cycle, though I’m not entirely sure), all the songs exceed 7 minutes in length, two of which being over 10 minutes, one being very close. The songs avoid the trap of becoming boring due to the variation shown with all the different sections.

However, the music is not the only area where the album shines. Lyrically, the album is brilliant, as well. Yes, the lyrics are about Satanism, like many other black metal bands. Yes, it may seem like there isn’t much there before reading them. However, the minute you read the lyrics, you notice how well-educated the lyrics are. They have a poetic quality to them that most lyrics lack. They create as much of a mood as the music itself does and reading them is actually as interesting as listening to the music itself. It makes the over-all experience of the album that much better. There is a lot of thought in these lyrics, and it is very clear that the band wrote them for a reason.

With this album, DSO have not only lived up to all the hype and expectations following the excellent SMRC, but have actually gone above and beyond what they’ve done in the past. With all the disappointing releases that have been put out this year, not to mention all the sub-par black metal out there, this is one album that simply must be heard. I can easily recommend this album for anyone who wants black metal that isn’t just a band trying to recreate styles used by older bands. Easily one of my top 5 albums of the year.

Whores To OBLIVION!! - 92%
Written by charun on April 14th, 2004

this album is truely awesome, i bought this album after hearing the unnatural world (differnent album i know) and my metal stockest recommended this album and he was not wrong! if you love the doomish slow sound you will love this album, it is very dark and pretty damn heavy for something as slow as it is. one special feature to note of the album is at the end of the track whores to oblivion which is an awesome song in itself, we have the strangest sound effect i have heard on a cd. basically it sounds like your speakers are being destroyed, it is truely awesome take to a hi-fi store and ask if you can test there speakers with the sort of music you listen to and put this track on. watch the slaes persons face as the sound of tthe apocalpyse is being played through tope of the range speakers. that aside this is the only cathedral album i own and i assure you that will soon change this is an awesome album with an awesome sound what more could you want? the destruction of the world captured on cd too? well you've got it in this album!

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=161876


There's only one line that describes the music, and not very good at it either.