http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=160652#147

OMG ULTRABORIS RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Fail.



(No content other than fecal humour on the level of a six year old, loads of failed attempts at grammar, and general worthlessness. Failed comeback of the century.)

If I had my way, albums would not go up on the Archive until they are officially released, which would preclude the whole problem.

At least there should be a rule not to accept reviews before the album is officially released.

Comeback? Comeback?!? You're a thousand times more foolish than I imagined previously. Kill yourself.

Also, contrary to what you might believe, his reviews aren't auto-accepted, because he's not been a mod for some time. Kill yourself.

Lastly, I was dead asleep when that got accepted, so it wasn't me.

Learn your native language. When you mastered it, you may return.


I don't see where I implied either. If you want to talk to people that only exist in your head, I suggest you do it outside the forum.


I don't see where I implied that either. See above.

That's one out of two accusations that hold some ground in a different place, I grant you that. And not knowing the meaning of a very common word can hardly be marginalized, might as well say cows are those things with wings and a beak and then give an "OMG YOU REFER TO MY SUCKY UNDERSTANDING OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE" as a defense against someone pointing it out. Sorry, it just doesn't work that way.

Then there was some random rant with the usual pointless insults I'm not even going to react to. If you have a valid point to make, make it, otherwise stop bugging me with your random nonsense.

You're obviously wasting both your time and mine. That's my final statement on that subject.

Well... - 80%
Written by Snxke on April 9th, 2004

THIS IS THE BEST SONG FROM THE ALBUM! IN FACT I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THIS AND LET THE REST OF THE ALBUM ROT HAD I KNOWN WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE!

Honestly though, this song rocks like old school Maiden and it kicks like a mule. Being one song, I won't pontificate on the issue, but understand that the cruise control riffs and solos mixed with all sorts of neat vocal phrases make for a killer little single.

It's quite tragic that the rest of the album did not fit this mold...

The start of it all... - 85%
Written by mutiilator on May 8th, 2004

I don't care what anyone else says, this is where the melodic Swedish black metal sound started. Made popular by bands like Mork Gryning and Lord Belial, the competant sound of Jon Nodtveidt's Dissection is the Mayhem of Swedish black metal. We all know the sound: technical riffing with mid-paced drumming and screamed vocals. Not quite black metal, but much too melodic to be considered death metal. The music has a cold, bleak feeling to it, made obvious by the numerous melodic passages, and fast, blasting passages. The range of emotion is what makes the album so brilliant. It can go from dark and hateful, to somber and melancholic within one song. Dissection are definitely the Ulver of Sweden. I still do prefer Storm of the Light's Bane over this one, but definitely check The Somberlain out. If you appreciate any extreme Swedish metal, you must worship the creators!

Bonebreaking downtuned hymns - 90%
Written by cinedracusio on April 11th, 2006

There is a thing that has always amazed me about Melvins. No matter what genres they switch and no matter what compositional type they would adopt, you could never blame them for trying too hard to be heavy or convincing and actually NOT succeeding in doing it.
There is sludge metal. And there are Melvins. Actually, I expected the first track to be fucking heavy, considering that mad rice eaters from Boris got their name from it. This opener is a great example of the primal slamming half-baked drone that Melvins are able of pulling out of their pocket. Dale Crover sounds extremely precise in his execution, and he still doesn't hurry the tempo at all. For almost 6 minutes, a snail-paced sludgy riff slashes and carves through pounding obsessive rhythms and audible (not slap) bass lines. Very noticeable is also the change in Buzz Osbourne's vocal register. Unlike the drunken, agressive and muddy execution found on 10 Songs and Gluey Porch Treatments, King Buzzo got a higher, clearer tone, which starts getting really similar to the other Osbourne. After a small but healthy dose of sludge riff jamming everything gets silent, and the last 2 minutes of the song are punctured by the main riff played on bass and Buzzo's mumbled, almost comical vocal exorcisms.
Anaconda is much shorter, and starts off a little quicker, with a more menacing and dynamic guitar riff, and the drums follow a weirder and more complex rhythmic register. Buzz reaches almost absurdly high notes (at least compared, as I said, to his past performances).
Ligature is one of my favourite tracks on this album. Starting off with almost tribal sounding drums and a severely downtuned riff, the real song begins only at above 1 minute and the vocal theatricals are simply delightful. However, the melodic and vocal parts are removed at the 2:40 mark, letting Dale to play a huge drum part (reminding strongly in its structure by Edgar Varese's "Ionisation"!) backed by powerful guitar feedback.
It's Shoved follows a grungier side, with a rhythm reminiscent of Nirvana and a more energic and less downtuned side of Melvins and Osbourne taking over a quicker vocal performance.
Zodiac. Damn, this is more Black Sabbath than Black Sabbath!!! Believe me, I am not fucking around. The beginning riff simply screams Black Sabbath worship, not to mention a psychedelically-tinged execution in drumming provided by a monster Crover. In the second half, everything slows down, going into a punishing hypnotic riff and even crazier in the vocal domain, with Buzz doing his almost over-the-top incantations.
If I Had An Exorcism was somewhat difficult to me, because it possessed less drumming sequences and wrapped in dizzying guitar high notes experimentation, having Buzz whispering something in the background.
Your Blessened had a milder approach, more jamming, actually I think that it had more jamming than any other track here, and contains a proper lead in it, so I liked it a lot.
Cow ends this album on a high note, the guitars and the vocals fade out very soon (just like on Leech from Gluey Porch Treatments), but everything ends with aprox. 2 minutes of Clover's drum improvisation.
My only real disappointment is that this lasts not too much, but who knows, maybe good perfumes have to come in small doses. Kids who are drooling over Earth, Sunn O))), Eyehategod and Boris, listen to Bullhead and Lysol and see who started the drone thing. Kaputt.

I saw a new Boris review yesterday, did it already get deleted?

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=101523#98208
Written by HexDemon666

Nothing wrong with the review but I think he sumbited his review to the wrong album.

This is the album he is actually reviewing
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=98870

More Thrasher Than Many Thrash Albuns - 95%
Written by znthrasher on November 27th, 2004

Ratos de Porão started as a punk/hardcore band and with the passing of times they were getting thrash and more thrash. Brasil/Brazil is not a simply Crossover album, it is a authentic thrash album (but many, punks and bangers, just don't admit this), fast riffs, fast drums, aggressive vocals. They recorded this album in Berlin with Harris Johns, who used to produce bands such as Tankard and a lot of thrash metal bands of that time.
About the music itself, we start with "Amazônia Nunca Mais" (Amazonia Never More), with riffs that remind things such as "Vio-Lence" (it is constant in the whole album), passing through "Brasil" (who has a fun keyboard part, that sounds like Tankard) and going to the classical "AIDS, Pop, Repressão". The first three are fucking thrashing amazing and the others? The others too!!!! But there are a lot of songs in this album and i will not talk about them one by one!!! The last song that I'd talk is "Crianças Sem Futuro" (Children Without Future), a cruching song ready to the circle pit!!!
Well, this album sounds more thrash thant many thrash metal albuns of that time.

For true Anathema fans ONLY - 95%
Written by Starkweather222000 on October 30th, 2005

Greek section to begin with, apologies to those who don’t understand Greek, but these words cannot be translated: «Το αλλιώτικο και το από αλλού φερμένο, το φοβούνται οι άνθρωποι…».
It means that something that is different, always causes fear, disappointment and frustation. Anathema, already with “Judgement” had shown signs of a path that leads them away from metal sound and into a more alternative, experimental rock field. Some people just can’t accept it, as if they were the band and not Vincent, Danny, Jamie and John. Hey guys, wake up, these people have their own wishes, dreams, ideas and feelings. And they are going to play whatever they fucking like, without asking your permission. If you want to follow, you’re welcome. If not, you may wave us goodbye. People change, you know. 2001’s Danny Cavanagh is not the same guy that composed “Kingdom” in 1994. I know, I also love “Pentecost III”, but we all have to understand that this band has changed. For good.
So, in my opinion, we have to judge their latter releases objectively, without whining about the “loss of metal touch in their music” or “the commercial betrayal of the band”. That’s bullshit man. If you like the music, buy the album. If you don’t, just shut the funk up and let us listen to it.
But of course, stubborn audiences could never accept terrific songs as “Pressure”, “Release” or “Barriers”, just because they are more experimental, and more reminiscent of Radiohead or Mercury Rev. Yet if you can’t taste the emotion of “Temporary Peace”, you’ve never even touched the substance of this band’s music. Emotion. “We, The Gods” and “Underworld” are about the same emotion named despair, but if you can’t listen past the doomy riffs and brutal vocals then it’s only natural that you can’t possibly realize the quality of “A Fine Day To Exit”. You are not to follow Anathema anymore, you can just stick to 1995 and whine about the forgotten majestic years of doom metal. But please guys, keep it silent, because I can’t listen to the splendid title track, with its extravagant lyrics and godsend melodies. This album rules, guys. And if you are just too metal to accept it, this fact can’t change this sapphire called “A Fine Day To Exit”. Hey, band, pay no attention to the throng. We’re here. We hold on, behind those grey and lonely eyes, hold on to you. We’re gonna follow for as long as you keep the emotion and expression true, no matter what genre you like to play, jazz, ambient, glitsch or folk. It’s all about emotion. And those that don’t get it, just move out of this town called Anathema fans.

Another great release from one of Norway's finest in viking metal. Blending viking and folk metal with black metal influence, I was very pleased to listen hear great riffs accompanied by fitting synth and strings. After ICS Vortex quit for his Dimmu Borgir legacy I was suprised to see how well Vintersorg did as the new lead singer of Borknagar. With talent that matches Vortex's Vintersorg delivers a flawless performance. Easily transitioning from grim vocals into smooth and operative clean vocals. Brun and Ryland's guitarwork is well done throughout. Lars A. Nedland's synth performance is excellent as well, providing a unique feel to the album. The album's first track, "The Genuine Pulse", is nothing sort of an epic. The beginning of the song is one of the coolest sounding elements I have ever heard in metal music. "Soul Sphere" is another great track, with vocals to be left in your head for days. The final track "View of Everlast" is a fitting end to a thunderous yet melodic production. The tracks inbetween are all as great as the tracks I've highlighted. Borknagar fans who do not have this album are strongly encouraged to buy it. Fans of viking and black metal in general will be glad to have this one in their collection.

I don't know if anybody's brought this up yet, but I just read this in the reviews section for Decrepit Birth's "...And Time Begins"

"By-the-numbers brutal death - 55%
Written by Noktorn on November 28th, 2006

I've never quite understood why everyone interpreted 'Souls To Deny' as Suffocation's triumphant return to the metal scene. Sure, it was an excellent album, but everyone seems to be willfully ignoring '...And Time Begins' from just a year before! I'm not sure what causes such an oversight in what appears to be the entire metal community, but I've decided to take the time to shed light on this little-discussed entry in Suffocation's lengthy catalogue.

Well, I guess one of the reasons is that it's just not that good an album. Suffocation's trademark has always been in their unique variety of pummeling yet obfuscatingly technical brand of death metal. And certainly, this album has all of Suffocation's trademark sounds: it's just as brutal and technical as it's always been. However, unlike previous albums where Suffocation showed a genuine change and development from release to release, '...And Time Begins' doesn't really go much of anywhere. Sure, it certainly sounds more modern, resembling the newer style of grindcore-influenced brutal death that was popularized at the turn of the millenium, but the music itself seems to go nowhere that has not been tread before by Suffocation or other bands.

Not to say that '...And Time Begins' is an utter loss. Certainly, it packs more technicality and brutality into it's half-hour running time than previous Suffocation releases. All the instruments are played viciously quickly and precise, and there are plenty of Suffocation's classic breakdowns to go around. However, the simple fact is that there just isn't that much development present on the album. If purchased by metalheads who are not that familiar with their previous works, I'm sure '...And Time Begins' would be greeted with great enthusiasm. However, metalheads who don't know Suffocation like the back of their hand are a rare breed indeed, making this album somewhat difficult to recommend. Certainly, fans of brutal, technical death metal will enjoy it, but I don't know how much they'll appreciate the rehashing of old elements.

'...And Time Begins' is not a bad album. It is simply highly, highly derivative brutal death metal that the vast majority of us have heard time and time again. For the brutal death metal fan, this is not at all a terrible purchase. But there is little to motivate a fan outside the style to make the purchase."

I don't know if he's trying to be funny by calling them Suffocation (thus implying they're a "Suffo-clone" band), or if he's actually a retard and assumed he was reviewing a Suffocation album. Either way, it's pretty dumb.

It's been mentioned at least 10 times now.

Thamuz mentioned this in the chat, since I guess he's banned from the forum I'll post it for him.

Haha, has it really? I've only noticed it on MA this one time, and a couple other times elsewhere.

It's a joke. They sound exactly like Suffocation. I'm seriously amazed by how many times this joke manages to elude people.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=805#318

Who cares?

I'd say it's acceptable. I tend to appreciate short, to the point reviews sometimes.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=805#318

Who cares?

ANAL BLAST – VAGINAL VAMPIRE

It seems that everything remotely involved with Slipknot turns out to be faggothic and overtly retarded, as Anal Blast proves with its first full-length album. We can affirm that this band plays anal grindcore; a rare and homosexual type of grindcore that you afford to play only if you had been gangabanged several times by a bunch of gay weightlifters. Slipknot?….. Pffff. At least this band doesn’t feature samplers.

A big piece of diarrhea is what this album is. Lots of stupid sex-oriented song titles won’t prevent us from the fact that the album sucks and that this guys were ass-raped when childs by their raging alcoholic stepfathers.

Stupid shit like “Smell You Cunt”, “Nipples Knees Ass Cheeks Ankles”, “Pussy Blood Popsicle” and “Puss Sores” just seem like an offense to the grindcore genre in general. I really hope Shane Embury or the guys of Brutal Truth or any other decent grind band finds where you live, so they can force you to give oral sex to a donkey and its owner.

Yes, in fact the little cocksucker behind the drum kit is the same bitch playing with Slipknot and there’s other smacked bitch who is an ex-member of that band. This really sucks, I mean, even GWAR and Spinal Tap would feel embarrassed to come up with such a stupid album like this one.
22 horrendous, ludicrulessly and overtly stupid and ass-boring rejected tracks compose this piece of crap. Even Prince sounds merely sucky if compared to this and even homosexual mallcore bands sound less masturbatory if compared to this. It’s like Slipknot but more br00tal and less disgusting. So two of the faggots of Slipknot tried to go grind and they miserably failed, Ha! Big news, they had always failed at life so this isn’t really surprising.

Is it suitable to say that, Slipknot sucks more than any other thing in the world. In fact, everything is virtually more metal than Slipknot. That astrophysical guy on the wheelchair.. I barely know him but I bet that he is more metal than Slipknot and even Madonna while giving a blowjob is more metal than Slipknot. Even Deftones are more metal than them and that’s really sad.

Conclusion: Not even Metallica’s newest stuff is so hideously horrible. Avoid it at all costs.