When I read it I had the suspicion that he reviewed the leaked promo rather than the final version of the album.

I just thought it was weird that he took off 90 points for the drums being bad or whatever.

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=5357

Come on.

ROOOOOOOOOAAARRR!!!! - 75%
Written by Snxke on May 27th, 2003


BLLLLARRRGGG. ROOOOOARRRR. ARRRRGGGH!!! (Cue violent blastbeats and light speed guitarwork.)

This is about the best description of the CD. It's technically impressive and heavily violent but it's far from fun. This CD is seriously the most violent CD in my currentl listening ring.

The problem is that all melodies are lost to a grind-ish brutality which makes the CD violent but lacking in memorable ideas. I think the CD could have been 18x better with a new mix and some new guitar melodies added to the mix.

It's an "ok" first step, but hardly a world shattering event. There isn't much to latch on too mentally but blasting and more blasting.

Someone needs to sit this guy down and have a talk with him letting him know that the Metal Archives' review system is not a comment board where he can leave his half-formed opinions.

An album you simply cannot hate - 95%
Written by HawkMoon on September 10th, 2002

Already by the time of 'Gothic', Paradise Lost showed they were a band to count on. Jump 4 years forward, and they've perfected the sound totally. Nick never growls here, instead he ranges from his regular clean voice (at calmer moments) to one of the most convincing metal-shouts I've ever heard, way to go Nick!

Musically this is melodic, slow to mid-tempo metal which never (and then I really mean NEVER) sounds wrong or bad in any way. Simply a perfect, masterful album that makes it into my top-ten of all time. A piece of treasure for every metal fan.

Look at the submit dates on his reviews. The standards haven't always been as high as they are now.

ONE good song - 37%
Written by UltraBoris on December 1st, 2002

So this contains maybe the greatest commercial song that Yngwie has ever done... in fact, the ONLY good commercial song Yngwie has ever done. And then a lot of random forgettable crap.

"Making Love" rules. It really does. It's a nice little song with some great atmosphere and of course you cannot contest the validity of the lead guitar. Then the rest... "Bedroom Eyes" is okay, as is "Judas", and "Eclipse" has some great soloing, but for the most part you are really led to wonder "what are you DOING!?? Play a SONG already!!"

Really, this is Yngwie attempting to be Winger most of the time. Horrible.

I don't know if this counts but a review of Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis's Aromatica Germenexcitación En Orgías De Viscosa Y Amarga Putrefación album is identical to an official review on another website.

Link.



I don't know why this was accepted to begin with as he starts the review mid-sentence.

Ultraboris' review of Yngwie Malmsteem's eclipse:



I didn't get any musical description from this, apart from one song having some great atmosphere and great soloing. I make forum posts that are longer than this crap.

Link: http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=331

This was in my top 5 of UltraBoris' worst reviews of the ones I've read, I can't say I'm going to miss it.

haha, you have a list? I thought his worst ones would've been deleted by now.

Here's a crappy review of Suicidal Tendencies "Suicidal For Life"

http://www.metal-archives.com/review.php?id=3063

FUCK! - 25%
Written by chaossphere on September 25th, 2003

Wow, this fucking album has a lot of fucking swearing on it. Every fucking one of the first fucking six tracks has the word fuck in the fucking title. The first song is just fucking Mike fucking Muir fucking telling us what he fucking thinks about fucking whatever, then the first song starts and he fucking tells us repeatedly that he fucking doesn't give a fuck, doesn't give a shit, ad fucking nauseam. The actual fucking music is typical fucking Suicidal fucking Tendencies fare, except this fucking time Robert fucking Trujillo's fucking funky bass is way too fucking prominent and it fucking sounds like Red fucking Hot Chili Peppers except a fucking bit more metal. The fucking drumming is also quite fucking "groovy", not thrashy at all. Did I mention that this album has so much fucking profanity on it it would make fucking Snoop Doggy Dog blush? I fucking did, didn't I? Fuck.

The only standouts here are "What You Need's A Friend", which has crappy verses but a fairly decent chorus riff, and isn't drowned in constant swearing and stupid funky basslines. "Evil" is something of a ballad and "Suicyco Muthafucka" (FUCK!) thrashes it up a bit. Otherwise, it's just fuck this fuck that fucking fucker motherfucker fucking fuck with stupid funky basslines causing much of the music to become borderline mallcore.

Also, they say fuck a lot. Don't buy this, or even download it. I got the CD for free and I want my 45 minutes back. Fucker.

That review is fucking brilliant.

The high expectations have been fulfilled - 100%
Written by Bracher on November 29th, 2006

The expectations placed in Darkspace’s second album were very high after the godlike debut. To be honest: at least my expectations were so high, that only another masterpiece could fulfil them. What can I say… They managed somehow to create a successor that is equal in genius, atmosphere and danger of addiction to the debut.

But two things have changed:

1.) The speed

“2.8” starts similar to “1.1” on the first CD: 2:30 minutes of ambient sounds. But then there are no brain-squashing riffs and drums. It continuous in mid-tempo until about 16 minutes. Only then the speed gets faster like we know it from “Dark Space I”.
“2.9” is even slower! At first I was a little bit disappointed by this one. It’s a more than 10 minute long ambient song with only a sample of a female speech (at ~5:50). The only thing that gives some sort of rhythm is a very hard distorted guitar with chorus (at least I expect it to be a guitar…). But it’s (like already mentioned) very slow: about 6 bpm. So you know what expects you. Like I’ve written, I was a little bit disappointed about this song because it’s has no changes in it. But after I’ve listened to it several times, it has become more and more interesting to me. Ironically because of it’s monotony.
“2.10” is faster again like we know it from their first release. This song remembers me very strong of Paysage d’Hiver (Wroth’s alias Wintherr’s other project).

2.) The length of the tracks

You may be a little bit confused when you look at the track list. The whole album contains only 3 songs. But they last about an hour anyway altogether. Unlike the songs on “Dark Space I” they last longer than 20 minutes (except “2.9” with 10:21 minutes) on this album. That’s an advantage because it gives you more time to dive into Darkspace’s cruel, cold and void dimension.

In summary it may be said that Darkspace created another milestone in Black Metal history. This release is unrivalled. Only “Dark Space I” is a competitor to this masterpiece!

I'll fucking second that assertion. Leave the fucking review alone for fuck's sake, it's fucking fucktastic.

A step farther from brutality, but good nontheless - 85%
Written by PsyKoCracker on March 8th, 2003

This review is mostly in response to people who say "omg, they lightened their sound!!! NU METAL!!! I'll give them a 20%"

Soilwork indeed got much lighter, but IMHO, this was a step in the right direction. Back in the APP and CHM era, they were just another melo death band out there. With NBC they seem to form their own sound. Just because a band lightens their sound doesnt automatically mean that it sucks, or that they are selling out.

So I advise you to use your judgement and start liking music because it sounds good, not try to make yourself look 1337 by using the "They got lighter so they suck" rule.

To those who have not heard Soilwork, in this era they are melodic death with a mix of clean vox. It's comparable in ways to In Flames in the Clayman era, but much better IMO.

Give NBC a try, and then decide for yourself whether this was a step in the right, or wrong direction.

Get rid of that 90% review instead of chaossphere's.

These three songs make a subpar album slightly better than subpar.

Ho ho ho

Unfairness is not a reason for review deletion. Read your bible.

Sorry.... So I take it I can bash a death metal band for being too fast then?? haha

Okay I'll just write a contradictory review then!

Yeah obviously the fact that everyone is entitled to their opinion means you can troll as much as you want.

I wish you could bash losers for stupid and narrow minded perspectives of metal... they don't understand that bands dont have to be fast to be good. But I ll just write a proper review.

Please don't use the narrow minded argument here. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Yeah but when I post a review about how gay this Trivium cd is, that my friend lent me the other day,because I they think that they are a bunch of sell-out fags that don't deserve to be in the same category as metal, or even be on this website, they got bitch vocals, bands with chick vocalists (Adorior, Infinited Hate, etc), They take all my points away. Thats my opinion but Im not entitled to it. Hyprocrates